- há 5 meses
Jennifer was a stay at home mom and the anchor of this family. After her death at 32, Gary had to leave his job and retire earlier because it was just too much for him to handle.
Categoria
📚
AprendizadoTranscrição
00:00I'm in Houston, Texas, ready to help a single father, a widower, who has three boys, and he does need my help. Let's take a look.
00:09Hi, I'm Gary Evans. I'm 37 years old. I have three boys, Michael, age six, Sean, age four, and Dylan recently turned three.
00:17We used to be a family of five, but about a year ago, we lost my wife to a battle of breast cancer.
00:22Losing Jennifer was very difficult on all of us. She was a stay-at-home mom, and she was the anchor of this family.
00:28Wow.
00:29It was very sad.
00:31Sean and Dylan were so young, they didn't really know what was going on. All of a sudden, their mama just wasn't around anymore.
00:38And who was that?
00:40Dylan probably does not have very many memories at all of mom.
00:44What an awful situation for this man.
00:47Come on, boys. Let's ride in the laundry. Raising the three boys on my own has been very difficult.
00:53Jennifer ran the house, and I was working full-time, so I didn't see the standard daily routine with them.
00:59Beth, now, the stress of being a single parent combined with the stress of work, I actually had to leave my job because it was just too much for me to handle.
01:09It's got to be seriously tough for this father right now.
01:13Fighting has become a major problem in the house. They just fight non-stop. And the volume can get deafening at times.
01:23Sean, stop kicking him.
01:27Sean, stop kicking him.
01:29I'm extremely frustrated with discipline.
01:31You know, I've tried everything I can think of. Every method I've tried has failed.
01:41Oh, word. Better sort that one out.
01:44It's yuck.
01:45The boys are really not very adventurous eaters.
01:48I won't eat this.
01:50It's very difficult for me to introduce healthy foods to them.
01:53You got to try it.
01:54No way!
01:55Given the choice, they'll choose fast food over a nice, balanced meal.
01:59What a load of rubbish.
02:01Better be teaching Dad a trick or two in the kitchen.
02:04Dad, why don't you change my life?
02:06Okay, I'll be out in one minute.
02:08Dylan's not potty trained.
02:09Jennifer potty trained Michael and Sean.
02:11I was not a part of the potty training.
02:13So now with Dylan, I really don't know what to do.
02:16This is hilarious.
02:18He's like a big baby bringing you his wipes.
02:21Life in this house can be extremely stressful.
02:29Stop it now!
02:30Cut it out!
02:31I feel like I've lost complete control.
02:33Super Nanny, please, we need your help.
02:36We've been through enough in the last few years and we really need things to get better in this family now.
02:41Gary, hold on in there.
02:42Some practical tips coming your way and we'll get through this together.
02:45See you soon.
02:51Hello.
02:59Pleasure to meet you.
03:00I'm Joe.
03:00Nice meeting you.
03:01I'm Gary.
03:01Hi, Gary.
03:02Can I come in?
03:02Come on in.
03:03Hi.
03:04This is Dylan.
03:04Hi, Dylan.
03:06Wow!
03:08This is Sean.
03:09Come and say hello.
03:10Shake my hand.
03:11Say hi.
03:11Pleased to meet you.
03:12Hi.
03:13I'm Jojo.
03:14Michael, you want to say hi?
03:15Hi.
03:15Hi, Michael.
03:16Pleasure to meet you.
03:17Hi.
03:18Pleased to meet you.
03:19After meeting the boys, I started to look around the house and I noticed immediately that there was something tacked up on the door.
03:26Who made the house rules up there?
03:28That was my wife.
03:29Keep your hands to yourself.
03:30Do not throw your toys.
03:32No one in the house.
03:34So, how many of these do you think the kids do?
03:36They follow them out?
03:37The kids do, yeah.
03:38Six is about half the time.
03:40That's it.
03:41They hit non-stop.
03:41They throw their toys, they run in the house, they scream.
03:45We were pretty consistent with the rules at first, but, you know, as Jennifer's sickness went along, we kind of got more and more lax with them.
03:51These days, those rules are not really being followed at all.
03:54Stop it.
03:55Please, babe.
03:56Soon, I got to see exactly what Dad was talking about.
03:59Hey, hey, hey.
04:00Get on the wall.
04:01Clearly, Dad hasn't made an effort to follow through on discipline with the boys since his wife has passed away,
04:15and this was made very obvious when the subject of lunchtime arose.
04:21What do you want?
04:21I don't know.
04:23All right, do you want chicken, fish sticks, ham sandwich, turkey sandwich, grilled cheese like Dylan?
04:29What's the matter, buddy?
04:30I'm not happy right now.
04:33What's wrong?
04:33I don't know.
04:34I want the wash.
04:36You want a hot dog?
04:37Corn dog?
04:38Quesadillas?
04:39You know what?
04:41It just turned into probably the worst meltdown I've ever seen Michael have.
04:49Michael, what is wrong?
04:50I just don't want to just really want.
04:54This is quite typical if he doesn't get his own way.
05:01It'll kind of go into this.
05:02This is beyond anything I've ever seen.
05:04This is beyond anything I've ever seen.
05:04This is beyond anything I've ever seen.
05:06Michael went upstairs to his bedroom.
05:14I knocked on the door, went in.
05:15Hi, Michael.
05:17It's Joe.
05:19I think I've got to go somewhere where nobody can see me.
05:24You want to hide?
05:25Yeah.
05:26I'm looking at your pictures.
05:32Who's this lady here?
05:35That's our mom.
05:36She died.
05:38She died?
05:39Yeah.
05:39Michael, Sean said that mommy died.
05:41Is that true?
05:43Yes.
05:44Do you think about mommy lots and lots?
05:46Yeah.
05:48She was very fun when she was alive.
05:53And now, to me, this is the end of the world.
06:01To hear him open up his heart to talk about how he feels, you just, you want to take his
06:06pain away.
06:07You want to be able to make things better for him.
06:10And the reality is, is that you know that you can't.
06:12I think I'm going to get out from other than that.
06:15I think that's a good idea.
06:16What was your mommy's name?
06:18Jennifer.
06:19Jennifer.
06:20I was thinking that maybe while I'm here, you can tell me about your mommy.
06:24Well, I lost all my memories about her.
06:29And how does that make you feel, losing your memories about mommy?
06:33Terrible.
06:34Yeah.
06:35Do you remember what she looks like?
06:37No, not at all.
06:39Right.
06:40And if you could remember any of those, or if somebody could tell you stories about those
06:46things, do you think that would make you happier?
06:49Yeah.
06:49Michael is definitely grieving from the loss of his mother, and he needs connection.
06:56But I don't know if dad really realizes that.
06:59So I wanted to talk to Gary, because I don't know where he is on his journey right now.
07:03Do I feel I've moved on?
07:04In a way, yeah.
07:06In a way, I'll never move on.
07:08You know, it's not like we got divorced.
07:10You know, it's not like we broke up.
07:12I mean, you know, she was taken from me.
07:14She's a part of my life, and she'll always be a part of my life.
07:16You know, and she's their mom.
07:18She'll always be their mom.
07:20She was the ultimate mom.
07:22Were the boys told?
07:23I mean, what?
07:24They were only told a few days before she passed away.
07:28You know, they were just still so young.
07:29They didn't really understand the permanence of it.
07:32You know, for a long time, Sean would ask me, you know, when is mama going to stop having died?
07:37You know, I look at them, I just, I feel, especially knowing how great their mom was with them,
07:42you know, to feel that they don't have that anymore, it just, you know, it breaks my heart.
07:48And they don't deserve what's happened to them.
07:50You know, it's a bomb.
07:59It can't be mimicked.
08:01And, you know, they've lost that.
08:04And it's definitely they've been robbed.
08:06You know, they definitely don't deserve it.
08:09I want to give you a big hug.
08:09Come here.
08:11I lost my own mother to breast cancer at a very young age.
08:15And I know that Gary feels incredibly sorry for his children
08:19because they no longer have their mother around.
08:21But there are things that do need to change so that this family can move forward.
08:26And I'm going to help Gary to do that.
08:28Coming up on Super Nanny.
08:33With emotions running high, Dylan lashes out at Dad.
08:37Do you think that's going to help you get what you want?
08:39Yeah.
08:41And Dad's at a loss with discipline.
08:43Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by so much to do with them.
08:46It's the difference between having children who know the difference between right and wrong.
08:50Gary lost his wife to breast cancer.
09:10He's just trying to pick up the pieces.
09:12But there are fundamentally basics that need to be taught to his boys.
09:16Yeah, I pee.
09:17Yeah, you want a new diaper?
09:20Dylan's a big three-year-old.
09:22And he knows when he needs to go.
09:24He grabs the diaper and the wipes.
09:28Thank you, buddy.
09:29At three years old, Dylan is more than capable of being potty trained.
09:34But I don't know if Dad's even tried.
09:36Is this something you'll want to...
09:37I have tried a few times.
09:38He's expressed an interest.
09:40I mean, he typically lets me know when he's ready for a change.
09:44But whenever I put him on the potty, he just doesn't do anything.
09:47Are you keen to move him on?
09:48I'm absolutely ready.
09:49I'm sick of diapers.
09:51No.
09:52Okay.
09:53I think that Dad's stalling a little bit.
09:55Had Jennifer been around, she would have taken care of all of this.
09:59But now Dad's going to have to do it.
10:01At dinner time, I saw that Dad does not have a healthy food plan in place.
10:17Dad is just catering to these boys out of the freezer with highly processed food.
10:24Fish sticks?
10:24Fish sticks, they love fish sticks.
10:26And the corn dogs.
10:27Well, Michael loves fish sticks.
10:27Corn dogs, Michael and Sean love little mini cheeseburgers.
10:31Oh, right, yeah.
10:32These kids have got used to eating food that we know is really high in fats and sodium.
10:37And if these kids are being fed on that constantly,
10:39then how are they actually having a nutritious, balanced meal?
10:43They don't really eat any.
10:43Kids eat vegetables?
10:45No.
10:45I don't really know how to prepare vegetables.
10:47I've always been a meat and potatoes kind of guy.
10:49Okay.
10:50That does need to be educated about the foods that he should be giving his children
10:53and really break this behavior pattern that this family have got into
10:58and eating rubbish, quite frankly.
11:01Dad, I want jelly beans.
11:03How about you?
11:04When it came to dessert, Dylan wanted jelly beans.
11:07But then he wanted some candy that was in a leftover Halloween basket.
11:10I just don't want jelly beans.
11:14I just want to eat your beans.
11:16You don't want jelly beans?
11:18You already ate your jelly beans.
11:19So he started to freak out.
11:23Yeah.
11:23I want jelly beans.
11:26What did I say?
11:27You chose...
11:28I don't want jelly beans.
11:30You chose jelly beans for dessert and you already ate them.
11:33I want jelly beans.
11:35I know.
11:36I want jelly beans.
11:37I want jelly beans.
11:41Screams, and the next thing he starts to slap his dad.
11:44Do you think that's going to help you get what you want?
11:50Yeah.
11:51Really?
11:51Has it ever?
11:53I give Dad credit for staying calm and not caving in to Dylan.
11:57Truth of the matter is, if he's getting used to screaming and hitting to get his own way,
12:02then that's bad behavior that's being taught,
12:05and he needs to realize that that's not acceptable.
12:08You're calm, man.
12:09Well, Gary, I'm going to leave you for the evening and come back tomorrow and have a family meeting with you.
12:16Okay.
12:17My condolences very much so.
12:20I think there's a lot I can do for Gary and the boys,
12:23so I'm really keen to go home so I can come back tomorrow and share my thoughts with him.
12:28Hello.
12:28Hello.
12:29How are you?
12:29I know that she can help me with the issues that I'm having,
12:32so I'm just looking forward to hearing her input and hearing how she can help me get things on track with our family.
12:38A heartfelt situation has us meeting today, one that I completely relate to.
12:46And my duty really is to be able to look at how you can stand on your two feet more confident as a parent
12:53and really feel that you're able to have achieved what you would have done had Jennifer been here.
13:00That sounds great to me.
13:01The first thing is discipline because it's very important that you do have that in place
13:08so that these children are able to be raised with acceptable behavior and who become well-adjusted adults in society.
13:16Right.
13:16When Dylan yesterday decided that he was going to keep slapping you,
13:20what you see is the behavior spirals out of control and becomes worse because it's not been put in hand that that's not acceptable.
13:27You know, sometimes I feel overwhelmed by so much to do with them non-stop that I'm like,
13:32all right, well, this is kind of a minor infraction, so let me not take the five minutes it would take to discipline it.
13:38Fundamentally, it's incredibly important.
13:40It's the difference between, you know, having children who know the difference between right and wrong.
13:45Right.
13:45And actually making better choices as they grow up.
13:48No, I definitely see it.
13:50Yeah, it definitely makes sense.
13:51So let's move on to potty training.
13:54You've got Dylan right now, at the age that he is, he's more than capable.
13:59When your child's coming up to you and they're basically saying,
14:02there's the wipes, there's the diaper, can you sort this out, please?
14:06That's like a bucket of water over your face.
14:08Like, wake up, can we just get on with this, please?
14:09Don't really want to be wearing these.
14:11You know, you're teaching Dylan a life skill.
14:14I mean, it's a necessity and it's moving him on in his development.
14:18So I think we should just knock on with doing that.
14:21Sounds great.
14:23About eating healthy.
14:24You and I both know that for your children to grow up, to be healthy and strong,
14:30the food that you're cooking them right now, that's got to go.
14:34We've got to get to a place where these children are able to have free, healthy meals
14:38and they're able to have healthy snacks in between,
14:41so they grow up as young men, very healthy on every level.
14:44Right.
14:45And that's exactly what I'm looking for.
14:47Which brings me to the last subject that I do want to talk about
14:51and that is the spirit of mum.
14:54Right.
14:55The spirit of Jennifer.
14:56Right.
14:57Michael right now is certainly feeling bereavement.
15:01He needs to feel that she's very much still present in his life
15:07with regards to the essence of who she was as a woman.
15:09Right.
15:10No, I definitely agree completely with that.
15:12Yeah.
15:12What we could do, not only just for Michael, but I think also for Sean and for Dylan as
15:17well, and for yourself, is that everything that she did with the boys can continue to
15:23run through the veins of this house.
15:26Right.
15:26OK, of this family.
15:28Absolutely.
15:29That is what I'm looking for.
15:30Brilliant.
15:30OK.
15:32Since Gary's wife passed away a year ago, I know that he hasn't been consistent with regards
15:38to discipline.
15:39And I believe it's because he's felt sorry for the boys, because they've been through so
15:42much already.
15:44Sean, come and sit down, please.
15:46What?
15:46But when I decided to get the family around and talk to them, Sean didn't want to listen.
15:51And I told Dad that he would need to step up and put discipline in place.
15:54So the first thing that's important for you to do is to be able to establish a warning
16:00with him.
16:00So the warning is coming down to a child's height.
16:03It's giving them eye contact, and it's having a very low, firm, toned voice.
16:08Buddy, you're going to come in.
16:10You're going to sit down.
16:11If you don't, you're going to get a time out.
16:13No.
16:13I already know everything about what?
16:16No, you're not.
16:17I could see that Dad was getting dragged into a debate, so I stepped in.
16:21Look at me, please.
16:23No.
16:23Right, you're going into time out.
16:25No!
16:26No!
16:28No!
16:29No!
16:31You're in time out because you are confusing.
16:34No!
16:36No!
16:39It's been a long time since Sean's had a time out, and he wasn't very happy about it.
16:44Is that the timer?
16:46Come away, because your brother's in time out because he didn't listen.
16:48He absolutely screamed his head off.
16:53He was so beside himself that he was in time out.
16:56Should have brought some earplugs, shouldn't we?
17:01Despite Sean's screaming, he did stay in time out for four minutes, and then it was time for an apology.
17:06Sean, Sean, I put you into time out because you did not listen to me.
17:10You do need to apologize and tell me that you're sorry.
17:13I'm sorry.
17:14He turned around to the wall and very begrudgingly said, sorry.
17:19So that's not an acceptable apology for me.
17:21So we'll leave him in there to cool down a little bit, and then we'll come back.
17:24No!
17:24On some level, Sean understood that a major change was about to happen in his life.
17:31You need to tell me that you're sorry for this behavior.
17:33No!
17:34Properly.
17:35No!
17:36All right, then you'll stay there.
17:38No!
17:39No!
17:40No!
17:41He was infuriated that he was still being made to stay there until he could apologize properly.
17:50Can you just show Jojo a real apology?
17:55No!
17:55Michael, we can speak to Sean after he's at a time out, OK?
17:59Sean acts a little silly.
18:01Sean, you do need to tell me that you're sorry.
18:04I'm waiting.
18:05I'm not going to say sorry.
18:07You're going to have to stay there, then.
18:14It was difficult.
18:16He was crying.
18:16He's my son, and I love him.
18:22But at the same time, I know deep down that what he did was wrong, and he knew deep down
18:27what he did was wrong.
18:28Sean, you do need to tell me that you're sorry for your behavior.
18:32I'm sorry.
18:33OK, thank you very much.
18:34I'd love to give you a hug and a kiss.
18:35That's a meaningful apology.
18:39Thank you very much.
18:41And with that, Dad had taken the first step to restoring discipline in his home.
18:50The next step was to get this whole family eating much more healthier.
18:54And so, much like discipline, I was going to start at square one.
18:57Here is a chart, and written on this chart are some foods that are really healthy for us.
19:03And it's important that we have one or two of each of the foods that are in these color
19:11blocks, OK?
19:12I don't like Jojo because she makes me have healthy food, not hot dogs or chicken nuggets.
19:19So, in the red block, which says protein, Dad, there are things like chicken and fish and
19:25ham.
19:26And then fruits are very good for us because they give us lots of vitamins, OK?
19:30Can you think of a fruit?
19:31A grape.
19:32A grape, exactly.
19:34It's important for us to have veggies as well.
19:36Can anybody think of a vegetable?
19:38Broccoli.
19:39Broccoli.
19:39A bean.
19:40And a bean, exactly.
19:42Well done, boys.
19:43Dad, I'll be good for a bean.
19:45They were pointing things out that they already eat, like, hey, I like that, and that's a vegetable.
19:49Or, hey, I like that, and that's a carb.
19:51But it's important for us to have these blocks throughout the day and sometimes all in one
19:57meal.
19:57And now that the boys were really excited about the food groups, it was time to head to the
20:01store.
20:07These are clementines.
20:12That's a snack, you know?
20:14Right, right.
20:15It's a mango, yeah.
20:16Any berry, blackberry, blueberry.
20:19We've got zucchini here.
20:21These are a different tomato.
20:22Do you know what this is, Sean?
20:23It's a coconut.
20:25Let's shake it and see if you can...
20:26The boys really got into it.
20:28I mean, they were seeing things they had never seen before.
20:30Fresh fruit and veg, fish.
20:33Do we have everything that was on that chart?
20:36Yeah!
20:36Yeah, I think you have...
20:38This is good.
20:39I don't know what to do with a lot of this.
20:41No, but that's the next stage.
20:42Now you're going to learn how to cook it.
20:46What I'm doing is I'm actually putting the carrots in first because...
20:50They take longer.
20:51They take the longer, exactly.
20:52You've got it.
20:53And back at home, I taught Dad a very simple recipe that he could just knock up any time
20:58that did include all of those food groups.
21:01OK, Dad, you're going to add that rice dish and throw it into that pot.
21:05And in just the same amount of time that it would have taken Dad to defrost something
21:10from the freezer, he cooked up this really wonderful, healthy meal for the kids.
21:16So, can you just sit over here?
21:17Do you want to sit next to Michael?
21:18It doesn't look good.
21:20You said it smelled good.
21:22I don't want to eat it.
21:23Look!
21:23But as soon as the food hit the table...
21:26I don't like it!
21:28...the boys started to complain.
21:30I don't like it!
21:32Yes, you do, Dylan.
21:33Good boy, Sean.
21:34You see?
21:35Look, Sean's doing.
21:36Pretty good, huh?
21:36Well done.
21:37Yep.
21:38Give me five.
21:38That's what I'm talking about.
21:39And after some convincing, Michael and Sean started to eat and they liked it.
21:44But Dylan, he dug in his heels.
21:46No, I don't like it!
21:48I don't like it!
21:52Dylan, if you complain about this, trust me, you'll be going into timeout.
21:58That's your warning.
21:59I don't like it.
22:00Dylan was trying to take a lot of control with the situation.
22:04And at that point, Gary needed to step up and show Dylan who was boss.
22:09Dylan, come on, right now.
22:12Right, so Dylan needs to go into a timeout.
22:14Okay, be firm with him, okay?
22:16He needs to realise that he cannot get away with this.
22:18I don't want a timeout!
22:20Stay right here.
22:22No!
22:24I don't want to!
22:27He needs to go back and then just reset the timer again.
22:30No!
22:31Set.
22:34No!
22:35I don't want to!
22:38Dylan put up a fight, but eventually he stayed there for his three minutes.
22:41I don't want to!
22:45Timeout.
22:46You weren't listening to me over there.
22:48Okay, you need to listen to me.
22:50Do you understand?
22:51Yes.
22:51You need to eat your dinner, do you understand?
22:53Yes.
22:54Okay.
22:54And now what else do you have to tell me?
22:56I'm sorry.
22:58I don't want to eat this.
22:59It's lovely, Gary.
23:01You're going to go eat?
23:02Yeah.
23:02Afterwards, Dad brought Dylan back to the table where he encouraged all of the boys to eat.
23:07Hey, now I like it.
23:11Now you like it?
23:12It's amazing what a timeout can do, Gary.
23:15Now he likes the dinner.
23:17Good boy.
23:18Very good job, Dylan.
23:20It's delicious, right?
23:21Good boy.
23:22Good boy.
23:23Coming up on Super Nanny.
23:25Good boy pants!
23:27Can Joe get Dylan to ditch the diapers?
23:29No!
23:30And Joe tries to keep Mom's spirit alive.
23:35And I know everyone knows this picture.
23:37It's with all of us.
23:39That's right.
23:39Before Gary's wife, Jennifer, had passed away, she had successfully taught the two older
23:48boys how to be potty trained.
23:50And now Dylan's three years old and potty time is here.
23:54Look what we've got here.
23:58Big boy pants!
24:00Big boy pants!
24:03Big boy pants!
24:04The first thing we really need to do is to get Dylan excited about being potty trained.
24:10And he was very happy when he realized that he was going to be wearing big boy underwear.
24:15Oh, you know what?
24:16All these are falling down already.
24:17Let's just stand and take more.
24:19But when I said to Dad, take the diaper off, put his big underwear on, he put up a fight.
24:26Dylan really was upset about taking his diaper off and putting the big boy pants on.
24:31Just saying, look, you know, just cut it out.
24:33Behave yourself.
24:35Yes.
24:35That's it.
24:40All done.
24:40Once we got Dylan into his big boy underwear, we just needed to frequently ask him if he
24:45needed to go and then wait.
24:49You have to pee?
24:49Yeah.
24:50All right, let's go.
24:51A little while later, Dylan told his dad that he needed to go for a pee.
24:56And at that stage, I said to Dad to just keep it very casual and just get him onto the toilet.
25:02Oh, I can't pee.
25:03You want to sit down?
25:05No, I can't pee.
25:07I think you probably could if you tried.
25:09But then Dylan suddenly changed his mind.
25:11I don't want to sit down.
25:14Let's just try it, buddy.
25:15No!
25:17No!
25:18I didn't want it to turn into a fight or for Dad to try and force him to go.
25:23But it was really important that Dylan understand this is where he needs to go.
25:27You need to tell me where pee goes before you can get out of here.
25:30I don't know.
25:32Well, you need to know.
25:34I don't know!
25:36This is a big change and kids will resist at times.
25:39But this is where you need to stand your ground.
25:42That's okay.
25:43I understand that, Dylan.
25:44You've told me.
25:45See, that's me.
25:46It's just pure defiance.
25:48Want to answer my question?
25:49No!
25:51He ended up being in there for probably a good 10 or 15 minutes before he finally relented.
25:55You need to go pee-pee and poo-poo.
25:57Where do we go?
25:58In the party.
26:00Good.
26:00Okay, you cannot go in your underwear.
26:02If you do it in your underwear, I will not be happy.
26:05Do you understand that?
26:06Yeah.
26:07Dylan did finally acknowledge that he knew where he needed to go.
26:12So now we've just got to wait for nature to call and let him follow through on it.
26:15In the meantime, I do have a project for Dad.
26:21I know from talking to the boys and Gary in observation, it's incredibly important that we keep the spirit of Jennifer alive.
26:30And so I've asked Dad to collect photos from his computer to put onto a DVD to show the whole family.
26:35Then we could sit on the sofa and just see these different images and just give a one-liner about them, you know?
26:40I absolutely can.
26:41Gary's a really keen photographer.
26:43He's got some amazing photos on his computer.
26:47I love it.
26:48Once I see, it brings stories back.
26:51Now I remember that day completely.
26:52Dad made the DVD, but before we had a chance to show the whole family, Dylan had an announcement.
26:59I can't go pee.
27:00Come on down, buddy.
27:02I just don't want to pee.
27:04If you can't pee, you need to sit for a couple of minutes.
27:06I just don't want to pee.
27:07Okay, well then you need to sit for a couple of minutes.
27:09You go and I'll come back and see you in a minute.
27:11I didn't want Dylan to feel pressured, so I asked Dad, just give him a little bit of space and back off.
27:17And what do you know?
27:18As Dad walked away into the kitchen, he called out.
27:21Oh, Dad peeing!
27:23Did you pee?
27:24Yeah!
27:26You did?
27:27He'd gone for a pee, which was victory, obviously.
27:31You're happy.
27:32Good job, buddy!
27:33You made me so happy.
27:35Well done, Dylan.
27:37I'm a big boy now.
27:39Watch the toilet.
27:42Say bye, pee-pee!
27:44Bye, pee-pee!
27:46It's the smallest thing, but it's a very proud moment in any parent's life.
27:49Yeah!
27:51And on that successful note, I asked Dad to gather the boys around where they could all
27:57watch the DVD of Mum and just keep that spirit so much alive.
28:03The rabbit, the bunny rabbit.
28:0695 degrees out, we spent two hours picking blueberries, and then Sean and Michael dunk their buckets out right in the dirt.
28:17That is Michael.
28:20How many years or months old was that?
28:22Right around a year.
28:23Their faces light up, and that choked me to watch because Michael would have this smile on his face, and you could see that he was thinking about that memory.
28:33The slideshow helps bring back memories.
28:36And I know everyone knows this picture.
28:39It's with all of us.
28:41That's right.
28:42Yeah.
28:43I want to watch the slideshow with Dad again.
28:45You know, it keeps very much the essence, the spirit of Jennifer.
28:52Yeah.
28:53With you guys always.
28:55As tragic as it is for this family that they have lost a loved one to cancer, they have some beautiful memories, and that you can't erase.
29:04I'm going to be leaving for the next several days, and my concerns with Gary is making sure that he can follow through.
29:16Okay, we're going to set you some homework, following through with the discipline, making sure that we can do a very nutritious meal, potty training.
29:25The biggest challenge is probably still going to be discipline and food.
29:30I guess we'll see how it goes.
29:31All right.
29:31Thank you very much.
29:32You're more than welcome.
29:32I'll see you in a couple of days.
29:33And I'll find out if Dad's going to be able to stick with it when I get back in a few days.
29:38When I first arrived, the Evans family certainly were grieving from the loss of Jennifer.
29:45To me, this is the end of the world.
29:50They don't deserve what's happened to them.
29:54This really had put Gary in a tough situation of not wanting to discipline his boys.
29:58I'm so mad, but I'm so mad!
30:01And it's going to be really important for me to see exactly how well Gary has done with his sons whilst I've been away.
30:07Exciting times.
30:08You get to have a look at yourself here and the family.
30:11First thing we are going to take a look at is meals.
30:14Sean, this is the sausage you love.
30:19I don't like those peppers.
30:22Just try it with the sausage, Sean.
30:24It's meant to go with peppers.
30:25It's meant to go with sausage.
30:27Do you want to wind up going to bed, losing your DSI tomorrow?
30:30No.
30:31Are you ready?
30:32Here we go.
30:33Actually, I do like it.
30:38I want to run away again.
30:42What I like is you actually said to Sean, you know, do you really want to be going for a situation where this will happen?
30:51Right.
30:51I just wanted him to know that, you know, there are consequences to him not eating.
30:56And you know that you'll just do it.
30:59And the kids sense that and it brings you to a place of being able to then set out those scenarios.
31:03You're like, we don't want that, do we?
31:04Right.
31:05Which is a lovely place to be.
31:07Let's take a look at the timeouts.
31:11Stop!
31:12Ow!
31:13Dad, no!
31:16No!
31:17Dad hurt me first, so I hurt him back!
31:24I warned you before, the next time you bothered, Sean, you were getting a timeout.
31:29Now you'll do your timeout.
31:30No!
31:32No!
31:34No!
31:36When you're done here, you're getting a timeout.
31:41What are you sorry for?
31:43For her each one.
31:45That's right.
31:47I'll do this.
31:50I'm done with my raspberries!
31:53You owe me a timeout for your darling.
32:00I'm sorry.
32:01Sorry for what?
32:02I can't even yell in.
32:03That's right.
32:04You need to tell me you're sorry too.
32:05You can be hungry as well.
32:07So, it is good that you're doing a timeout, but both kids are screaming out that one of them's
32:11done something to the other.
32:13First things first, bring them both together.
32:15Let them both tell you their side of the story.
32:19You give them the talk, and then you put them into timeout.
32:25Right.
32:25So, potty training it is.
32:27I think I have to go pot.
32:30You don't need to right now?
32:37Is that what you're saying?
32:38Yeah.
32:39Dylan.
32:40I have to go potty.
32:41Yeah.
32:42Dylan.
32:43I have a diaper!
32:44Where does pee and poop go?
32:46I'm in the potty.
32:48It's one thing to have an accident, Dylan, but this isn't an accident.
32:53You were just sitting on the potty, and you went upstairs to go do this.
32:56I'm not happy about it.
32:57I'm not happy about it.
32:58Okay, Dad.
32:59I just want to go potty.
33:00Right here.
33:01Bye-bye, baby.
33:03Perfect.
33:04I have to say that your voice was absolutely brilliant.
33:15Your tone, it was very firm.
33:17It wasn't by any means scolding him, but it was very much showing, you're not happy with
33:22this.
33:23And when he sat on the potty, it was really nice because he kind of looked up to you, you
33:27know, like, hey, I've done it.
33:28Yeah.
33:29All right, let's look at the spirit of Mum.
33:30We're going to make Mama's banana bread.
33:32Yeah!
33:33Banana bread!
33:34All right, mate, you just mash away.
33:36MASH AWAY!
33:37Love it!
33:39Okay, Dylan, put the sugar in here.
33:42Good job!
33:47Yep!
33:48Woo!
33:50Are you ready to go?
33:52Yeah!
33:53Yeah!
33:54Boys, I think the banana bread's done!
33:56Mmm!
33:57Mmm!
34:01It's delicious!
34:03Absolutely fabulous!
34:04What brought you to the point of thinking about banana bread?
34:06She used to make it all the time, you know, before she passed, so we haven't had it in,
34:11you know, a year and a half, a year and three months or so.
34:14You know, it was just something she always did with them.
34:16And she always used to let them mix and, you know, all right, throw this in, and so,
34:20you know, I made sure I did it that way as well.
34:22Exactly!
34:23Absolutely fabulous!
34:24Yes!
34:25Well done!
34:26You've worked really hard, and it goes without saying that the results are there because
34:29of that.
34:30So let's move on to the next level.
34:31Okay!
34:32Great!
34:33Fantastic!
34:34Dad has done a fantastic job whilst I've been away, so I just want to take him to the
34:39next level where we can just fire his imagination with the boys.
34:44So I created a game for them so they could all have fun together.
34:48You are all space cadets, and today you have a mission. Read what the mission is, Michael.
34:55Your ship has crashed on an alien planet. You must work together to collect ten energy
35:01rocks to fix your broken engine. You will find hints along the way to lead you to the rocks.
35:08Which means you're going to need to put space outfits on. It means your commander is going
35:13to need to put an outfit on. Okay? Follow me. Follow me!
35:19When I saw my costume, I figured, okay, I knew it was going to be something pretty embarrassing
35:24for me.
35:25This is our first clue. Go to the backyard to find the first energy rock.
35:32All right, cadets. Good luck.
35:33Let's go.
35:34You feel a little silly going through it, but I think it's good that they see that I support
35:38that type of plan.
35:39I found it!
35:40Good job, cadet Sean.
35:43Place the first energy rock on our engine for our spacecraft here.
35:48Here is a clue to find the next energy rock. You must work as a team. Look behind the
35:55alien box that is green.
35:58All right, where's the green alien box?
36:00I think it's incredibly important to spark that imagination.
36:03Be careful, be careful of this planet.
36:05For them to be able to socialize together as siblings.
36:09You've done it!
36:11You've done it!
36:13Good job!
36:14I found it! And the horse, too!
36:18It was great to do something with the boys and let them use their imagination.
36:22Just the excitement in all their voice, it was just great to see.
36:25I found it! I found it!
36:27You could see Dad was participating in this imaginative play and actually enjoying it.
36:32When I open it, run away quick. Go!
36:36We found it! We found it!
36:39It was very fun.
36:41Congratulations! You've found all the energy rocks!
36:44Sean, hit the ignition.
36:46All right, follow me.
36:47And then Dad led his boys on a space flight through the backyard.
36:52It was definitely fun doing something like that together.
36:55The mission was absolutely a success.
36:57To the door!
36:58Mission completed.
37:03Boys, I have something for you.
37:06These boys have absolutely loved recapping memories of themselves with their mother on a slideshow.
37:13But because they're grieving, I do want to give them something just a little bit more personal.
37:18I thought I would give you your own photo album.
37:22Michael, Sean, and Dylan, this one's yours.
37:27That was me trying.
37:30That's how I think you are there.
37:32Yeah.
37:33Look, you're on mom's shoulders.
37:35Yes.
37:36I think it's a great idea to have their own personal photo album.
37:39If they're feeling a little sad or, you know, just want to see pictures of their mother,
37:43I think it's great that they can just go grab the book and just flip through pictures of them with their mom.
37:48You look like mommy.
37:50Yeah.
37:51Look at mommy's cheeky smile.
37:54They were perfect.
37:55That was me.
37:57It's been an absolute pleasure coming here and being able to help you.
38:02It really has.
38:03It's been an absolute pleasure.
38:04Thank you so much, Gary.
38:05It's sad seeing Jojo.
38:06She helped us out with so much.
38:08The future looks great from here on out.
38:10Bye-bye, love.
38:11I'm going to miss you.
38:12Keep in touch.
38:13I'm going to miss you too.
38:14I'm going to miss Jojo because she was a really nice girl.
38:17Bye, darling.
38:18Can I have a big hug and a kiss?
38:20Bye-bye, Jojo.
38:21Bye-bye, Jojo.
38:22Take care.
38:24Bye, Gary.
38:25Bye-bye.
38:26So long, Jojo.
38:28I believe the Evans family are going to be totally okay.
38:30You've got to take your hat off to a parent who puts that commitment in and that effort.
38:34And Gary's done that with his family.
38:36I stay.