- 5 months ago
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00:00This week on Hogan Knows Best, everyone knows Nick's a ladies' man.
00:05I made your head way too small.
00:08After all, he takes after me, the Hulk.
00:12God, that's hot.
00:13But the last thing we need is baby mania running wild.
00:15It's time for the birds and bees.
00:18STDs.
00:19So if you ever have to draw your weapon out or something like that,
00:21you know how to protect yourself.
00:23What would you do with a kid that's 16, 17 years old?
00:26So I'm going to make him a daddy for a day.
00:28You have a little girl, Nick.
00:31What?
00:35Yo, uh-huh.
00:37Hold on.
00:38Yo, Linda, did you call the kids?
00:42Nick, it's mom.
00:44Where are you?
00:44Oh, let's go.
00:51Where is everybody?
00:58Hogan Knows Best.
01:11Oh, check this out.
01:12This is Karma Electro Fitness thing.
01:13Oh, my God.
01:14Nick.
01:15God, that's hot.
01:16Damn.
01:17You guys, that is so uncomfortable.
01:19I really don't want to watch this.
01:20This looks like watching porn.
01:22This is the best video ever.
01:24Give me that.
01:24Stuff.
01:25What?
01:25What are you doing?
01:26Turn it off.
01:27No, it's my room.
01:28We're going to watch what we want to watch.
01:28Turn it off.
01:29You can leave.
01:30The door is open.
01:31You guys are disgusting.
01:33He's like one of the hottest kids ever.
01:35Hell yeah.
01:36Reminds me of something my boy was telling me the other day.
01:39He took this nude art class.
01:41Nude.
01:41Yeah, he said the girl D-robes.
01:45And we just draw.
01:46Where can we do that?
01:47We just look it up.
01:48Nude art class Miami.
01:51There you go.
01:52Okay, we got a number.
01:54Let's see if we got a new model.
01:57Hi, I was calling about the nude art classes you guys offer.
02:03What kind of art are you interested in?
02:06Drawing and visualizing and things of that nature.
02:12Would you consider yourself a beginner, intermediate, or advanced?
02:15Between intermediate and advanced.
02:17We have some drawing classes available on Wednesday at 2 o'clock.
02:21Are the models female or male?
02:24We actually do have a female model schedule.
02:26There you go.
02:27Okay, we will be there.
02:29The names are Nick and Stax.
02:31Hi, Nick and Stax.
02:32Yeah, Stax with a dollar sign on the end.
02:34Don't forget it.
02:35All right, we'll keep going.
02:36See ya.
02:37That's how it's done.
02:38Let the artistic juices flow.
02:39That's right.
02:44Hey, well, we're taking off.
02:46We'll see you guys in a little bit.
02:48Where are you guys going?
02:49We're actually going to our art class.
02:51Why are you guys going to art class?
02:53I'm getting a well-rounded education, and I'm stimulating my brain.
02:57Don't underestimate Nick Hogan.
03:00We'll see you guys later.
03:01Miami is just bringing out some weird stuff in us.
03:08Today we're going to be gesturing the human figure with the intention of capturing the
03:12main essence of it.
03:13Is this the art class?
03:14Yes, it is.
03:15Your name is?
03:16Nick.
03:17Stax.
03:17Welcome.
03:18Alessia, please.
03:20Sit down here.
03:21I'd like to hear about you.
03:22The reason why you're taking this class.
03:24What is your goal?
03:25Do you still miss him?
03:26I'd like to know where you're going with this class.
03:27I'm straddling.
03:27You okay?
03:30Yeah, I'm good.
03:32Here's our model.
03:34Hello.
03:36Oh.
03:38I think I broke my sock.
03:39I want you to keep in mind, this is a serious class.
03:45And, you know, it's a matter of how far you want to go with art.
03:49You have one minute to capture the essence of this figure.
03:52Is she supposed to be moving now?
03:53It's all about energy, my friend.
03:54I'm just going to be switching every one minute.
03:56Because that's a lot of energy to be capturing.
03:58I want you to capture that.
04:00All right.
04:03For the next one.
04:03Hold up.
04:04Energy.
04:05All right.
04:05Capture.
04:06Oh, mine's good.
04:08Switch.
04:08For the next one.
04:10All right.
04:11Don't make drawing about the press.
04:13It's just way too big.
04:20Try to get the right size of it.
04:22Don't just draw two circles just because you think it's press.
04:25Okay.
04:26Take a little break.
04:27I made your head way too small.
04:34That ain't a bad one, right?
04:36Yeah.
04:38Remember, don't tag me to the model every time.
04:40Okay.
04:41You just want to draw the model, not tag to her.
04:44Okay.
04:49Okay, see, that's better, my friend.
04:51See, that's what I'm talking about.
04:51That's good, right?
04:52Yeah, you too.
04:53You too.
04:53See?
04:54Yep.
04:54Incredible.
04:55Yep.
04:55That's okay.
04:56Okay, guys.
04:57Time is up.
04:58Thank you very much.
04:59Class dismissed.
05:00You know what's funny?
05:05What?
05:05Demi Moore looks younger than Ashton Crutcher.
05:08Well, she's got to do something.
05:09She's robbed a cradle.
05:10Cradle on, honey.
05:11Socially transmitted diseases are up by 150%.
05:15Isn't it sexually transmitted disease?
05:17I went to sex ed class in school.
05:19I'm glad Brooke's a good girl is all I got to say.
05:22Well, I had to talk with Brooke a few years back.
05:25What would you say to Brooke?
05:26I just had to teach her about, you know, intercourse and protection.
05:28Mom, why do you have to call it intercourse?
05:30And what do you want me to call it?
05:31Sex.
05:32Ew, you guys.
05:34I had to explain to her.
05:35You wait until you're married to be careful.
05:36Like you did.
05:37And you don't let boys try to flirt.
05:39Does Nick have to talk yet?
05:41Well, your mom handles all that stuff.
05:43I haven't.
05:44You haven't had a talk with Nick yet?
05:45It's your job.
05:46That's man to man.
05:47My job.
05:47You can't expect me to go and do that with Nick.
05:49I don't think Nick is sexually active.
05:51Nick is into racing cars, okay?
05:54I don't get it.
05:54Why are we having this talk?
05:55Nick's the one that's going to need to talk because he is definitely total playa.
06:00Total playa.
06:01Shaves his happy trail.
06:02Wears jeans with no underwear.
06:04Has internet access.
06:05Has internet access.
06:07Has had three or four girlfriends.
06:09Maybe five.
06:10Are you insinuating that Nick's having sex already, Brooke?
06:12Hello?
06:14I'm sure he's probably thinking about it.
06:16If he is already sexually active, hopefully he's using protection.
06:19Whoever he's sexually active with doesn't have STD and maybe they're on the pill.
06:23Have you ever talked to him about where babies come from?
06:26Everybody knows it's a snort.
06:28That's not what I saw when I was five.
06:30What'd you see when you were five?
06:31You guys in bed.
06:32Please, let's not go there now.
06:33Wrestling.
06:34Oh, don't worry.
06:36Daddy's not hurting mommy.
06:39If Nick ends up not understanding the right method of birth control, he could get somebody
06:44pregnant and that is scary because that's life-changing.
06:47Oh, man.
06:47I can't take this anymore.
06:48You're going to have the talk, right?
06:50Yeah, I'm going to have the talk and I'll let you know exactly what happens.
06:53I'm sure everything will be just fine.
06:59Yo, yo, yo.
07:00Hello, Gandini.
07:01What's up, man?
07:02I got into it with Linda yesterday.
07:04What now?
07:05Linda had a talk with Brooke about sex and she was like 10 years old.
07:08And so I'm saying, well, what's up with Nick?
07:10They said, oh, you haven't had a talk with him yet?
07:12So now I got to figure out how to do this.
07:14That's kind of like trying to fix the dam after it's already broke.
07:18Nick's a drift driver.
07:19He's good looking.
07:21He's athletic.
07:22You don't think Nick's having sex, do you?
07:24Uh, I don't know.
07:28Oh, great.
07:29What's your biggest concern?
07:30My biggest concern is, number one, sexually transmitted diseases.
07:33You're worried about getting them pregnant.
07:34Anything can be possible.
07:36They could even get AIDS or something.
07:37Right.
07:37My dad never told me nothing.
07:38My brother gave me a bunch of bad information.
07:41Your brother did?
07:43Yeah, we were riding our bikes down the street.
07:45And I saw these two dogs going at it.
07:47And I asked my brother what was going on.
07:49He said, oh, that's how you have sex with somebody.
07:52You're doing in the b***h.
07:54I used to dream at night about where do you put this thing.
07:57It made me think that you're supposed to put it in the b***h.
07:59You know?
08:00I just got to sit down and talk with him.
08:02But I got to get myself up to speed.
08:04But I got to know what I'm talking about.
08:05I'm going to go online or do something so you can get...
08:08But I don't know how to use a computer.
08:10There's all kinds of sexual predators on there.
08:12I don't want anybody hitting on me.
08:14So I'd rather go to a bookstore than go online.
08:17We're looking for some sex books, I guess.
08:23We're looking for sex education so we can read about...
08:26Sure, let me show you.
08:27Shame on it all.
08:29The Wonder Book of Sex.
08:31What's that about?
08:32No, no, no.
08:32Would you rather lose your penis or one of your legs?
08:35Would you rather lose your penis or both of your eyes?
08:37That's a little too heavy, don't you think?
08:40It's actually transmitted diseases.
08:41This is it.
08:42The latest information on risk, prevention, treatment, herpes, gonorrhea, genital warts,
08:48HIV, scabies.
08:50Yeah, this is what we need an information book for Nick.
08:53Enjoy your book.
08:55What would you do with a kid that's 16, 17 years old?
08:58Huh?
09:00Oh my God, it's a baby in a box.
09:02I want a paternity test.
09:04Have a great day.
09:05I'll be sitting here with a kid.
09:08Hogan knows best.
09:13Hogan knows best.
09:18Hey, Nick.
09:19What's up, dude?
09:22I know how much you love fast cars and fast boats.
09:25I think it's something for you that happens to you just as fast.
09:27Check that out.
09:30STDs.
09:31You got herpes?
09:32No.
09:32You got genital warts?
09:34No.
09:35Scabies?
09:36I had them one time.
09:37You had scabies?
09:38Yeah, from sleeping in a dirty bed.
09:40Ew.
09:41But anyway, I'm definitely not advocating sex before marriage or anything like that.
09:45Huh?
09:46But if your mother had the birds and the bees talk with Brooke and I haven't had the talk
09:50with you, so what do you know?
09:52What are you laughing about?
09:53You act like it's a big joke or something.
09:55Um, you have to use some kind of protection.
09:58Birth control pills or diaphragms or condoms.
10:01So if you ever have to draw your weapon out or something like that, do you know how to protect
10:05yourself?
10:05I guess.
10:06Like the Tootsie Roll.
10:07You just roll it on, you know?
10:09Never.
10:09Um, sexually transgressive diseases can change your life because ain't nobody going to want
10:17to play hot dog bun with you if you get this stuff.
10:20What's so funny?
10:21Hot dog bun.
10:24Hot dog goes in the bun, you know?
10:25The big thing is, is you have a blowout or something like that.
10:29Like the condom could break and the sperm could go inside.
10:32You get somebody pregnant, you change your life.
10:34I'm serious.
10:36God.
10:37You get too many RPMs going and you have a flat tire.
10:40You know what I'm saying?
10:42This is a serious talk we're having.
10:44What would you do with a kid at 16, 17 years old?
10:48Huh?
10:49This can't happen.
10:50If you're messing around.
10:52But it can happen if you're a promiscuous girl.
10:56All right.
10:56Well, you don't seem like you're too serious about it.
10:57No, I do.
10:58If you've got too many RPMs and you've got a blowout, then you have a kid.
11:02I wouldn't want a little cookie monster running around.
11:06Cookie monster.
11:09I don't think you think I'm serious.
11:11I do.
11:11My most important father-son talk ever.
11:14Yeah.
11:14When you're sitting here playing with a dog.
11:17You know, this is not a baby you're holding.
11:19Cookie's pretty self-sufficient.
11:21Uh-huh.
11:22I don't know what it's going to take to make you serious, but I'm going to think of something.
11:25Oh, God.
11:26I won't catch scabies.
11:27Laugh now.
11:28You won't be laughing later.
11:33Yo, yo.
11:34Yeah, yeah.
11:35I had a talk with Nick about the birds and the bees, and he kind of laughed about it.
11:39I said, well, what if you get somebody pregnant?
11:41And he thought that was, oh, that's something.
11:43Like that didn't pertain to him?
11:44Well, it did, but he kind of like didn't take me serious.
11:47Maybe we should borrow somebody's kid or something, like a real baby that poops and has diarrhea
11:51and cries every 10 minutes just to teach Nick, like a big lesson.
11:55Do we know anybody that young that's got a new baby?
11:57You know something, don't you?
11:58They make training babies.
12:00They do.
12:00Training babies?
12:01Yeah.
12:01What do you mean?
12:02It's a computerized baby, and it cries.
12:04If you don't tend to it or whatever, it'll just start crying.
12:06No instruction manual.
12:08Just you have to figure out, like, is it hungry?
12:09Does it have gas?
12:10Did I poke a diet?
12:12That's perfect.
12:13I think that'll do it.
12:14I mean, we don't need any more Team Hogans around here, if you know what I'm saying.
12:21Hey, Nick.
12:22Yo.
12:23I got a little present for you.
12:24There you go, dog.
12:25You got it for me?
12:26From me to you.
12:29Oh, my God.
12:30It's a baby in the box.
12:31Why'd you get me a dog?
12:32Because I want you to really understand what will happen.
12:36If you make a huge mistake and have premarital sex and get somebody pregnant,
12:41it'll change your life completely.
12:43You need to put that band on your wrist, because that lets the baby know you're its father.
12:46I want a paternity test.
12:48Consider her a real baby.
12:5024 hours is with you.
12:51You're going to take care of the baby.
12:53Okay.
12:53It actually has a computer and a whole memory scan in there that there's actually a report
12:58card at the end of 24 hours.
12:59So if you were to drop the baby or leave it in the hot car or not feed it or not change
13:04the diaper, the baby stooges you out and tells us everything that happened.
13:07She's going to need to eat.
13:08She's going to need to have her diaper changed.
13:10She's going to need to be burped.
13:12She's going to need to be rocked.
13:13Okay?
13:14I don't get it.
13:14This is stupid.
13:15What would happen in a situation where accidentally, and it would be, oh, my God, I don't know how
13:21it happened.
13:21I'm so sorry.
13:22I don't know how I got pregnant, but God, the test came back blue and I'm pregnant.
13:26Now what do I do?
13:28Oh, my God.
13:29Think about it.
13:30But I have other things that I'm doing.
13:32I can leave it here, right?
13:33When your mom had you and Brooke, she took you and your sister everywhere so you can take
13:37that baby with you today.
13:38Oh, is this the bag you put it in to carry it around?
13:40No, that is the diaper bag.
13:42It's not a dog carrier.
13:43You put it in the luggage like that.
13:44Do you have some little surprise for that also?
13:47Yes, I do.
13:48Be nice.
13:49Be nice.
13:49Be nice.
13:50Look, Nick.
13:51This was yours.
13:51Oh, my God.
13:52Look how cute.
13:53It still has the string on there from his balloon.
13:59You have a little girl, Nick.
14:01Makes me an ant.
14:02You guys suck.
14:04I don't even want it.
14:05It's not even my kid.
14:07I don't want to do this right now.
14:08All right, you're going to get grounded for two weeks if you don't do our project.
14:11What?
14:12That's unfair.
14:12I just want to see if you're a man enough to be responsible and get serious so you understand
14:17what we're talking about.
14:18Cool.
14:18Well, you guys have a great day.
14:19I'll be sitting here with a kid.
14:21Bye.
14:21You do kind of make a cute dad.
14:23See you guys later.
14:26Shut it up, man.
14:27Shut it up.
14:29Dad, can I get a babysitter?
14:30No, that won't work.
14:32Stop it, kid.
14:33Will you shut that baby up, man?
14:35It was the worst 24 hours of my life.
14:38Hogan Knows Best.
14:39I can't make the kid shut up.
14:50It might just be the diaper.
14:51No, I don't breastfeed it, you b***h.
15:02All the diapers and bottles are stuck in there.
15:04Stop it, kid.
15:05Wait, where's the bottle?
15:07Let me try to feed this thing again.
15:09Still hungry.
15:10Put it to your chest, at least.
15:11Come on, let's get the car seat.
15:13This is so...
15:14Why do I have a plastic kid?
15:16Hold it.
15:18Shut up.
15:18You got a little baby, huh?
15:31Man, seeing you to the parent is awesome.
15:35She looks just like me, huh?
15:43Will you shut that baby up, man?
15:45I'm trying.
15:46It's so embarrassing, bro.
15:49Stop it, man.
15:50Real care.
15:56Let's go, bro.
15:57Come on.
15:59Nobody else is happy.
16:00Nick, you didn't even eat your food, dude.
16:02I know.
16:03Shut it up, man.
16:05Shut it up.
16:06Everybody in the restaurant was looking at it.
16:08It's not my fault.
16:09You know, it's a normal thing to have children.
16:13What's up, Grandpa?
16:15Oh, that's funny.
16:16Opps.
16:17Jack, can I get a babysitter?
16:18Nah, that won't work.
16:20How's the baby doing?
16:21Terrible.
16:22Why?
16:23Because, like, unless the thing's strapped to my chest, it won't stop crying.
16:26You probably need to keep it strapped to your chest, though.
16:28If you put that baby down, it cries.
16:31There.
16:32Sit.
16:35See?
16:35I think you're just making it worse than it is.
16:39It doesn't look like it's too hard to make.
16:40Dad, it cries every two seconds.
16:42Well, one, two.
16:43Come on, baby.
16:46It's not crying.
16:47But it will.
16:54You don't want a scooter ride?
16:56I don't know if I'm a scooter ride.
16:57Chill for two seconds.
16:58All right, we're good.
17:10How are you, sir?
17:11Say hi, baby.
17:12Hello.
17:13Hello.
17:14What's going on?
17:15We'll race.
17:27Hey, how's it going?
17:28Good to see you.
17:28I'll wait till you're off.
17:29Hey.
17:30It's something my dad's making me do.
17:32Whatever.
17:33What's going on with the car?
17:34The car's awesome.
17:35The car runs great.
17:36Come on in.
17:38Oh, Doug.
17:41There you go.
17:42Oh, my God.
17:45Doug.
17:47I've got a little baby.
17:50Did you bring a baby seat?
17:55No, I didn't bring a baby seat.
17:57Come on, Doug.
18:02Shut up.
18:05Yo.
18:06I know, dude.
18:10I want to come so bad.
18:12Who's there in the background?
18:13Nothing, bro.
18:14I'll just call you tomorrow, okay?
18:15I'm sorry.
18:16I can't make you do that.
18:16I'm going to go.
18:17I'm going to go.
18:17I don't know.
18:47Good morning, I come in peace.
19:17I didn't sleep.
19:22Good morning, sunshine.
19:25Yo, papa.
19:27It's all yours.
19:29Wow.
19:30It was the worst 24 hours of my life.
19:31How much sleep did you get?
19:32Two hours.
19:33Yeah, it was a good wake-up call, wasn't it?
19:35Yeah.
19:36So you know, that's not a joke, right?
19:39Messing around.
19:40I'm not joking.
19:41So what exactly did you learn?
19:43I don't want to be a father, yet.
19:45You have to be careful.
19:46These are rough, they're annoying, and I don't want one for another 10 years.
19:50Yeah.
19:51Alright, here's Nick's report card.
19:53Missed feeding.
19:541033.
19:55Missed diapy change.
19:56He left the baby with a wet diapy?
19:58He did rock the baby at 1.58pm.
20:01What else?
20:02Did not burp the baby one time.
20:03He didn't burp the baby?
20:04That is going to make it cry.
20:05Fed the baby the right time.
20:07Proper handling, proper position.
20:09So he got a C.
20:10That's pretty good for the first day ever.
20:12That's pretty good for a new father.
20:14You might want to wipe the baby's butt with that.
20:16There you go.
20:17Hogan knows best.
20:20You meet the right girl, and you get married 10 or 15, 20 years down the road like me and
20:26your mom.
20:27You won't have to be up all night, dude.
20:29You can go sleep in the TV room in the other room in a different bed and let her do the
20:32dirty work.
20:33Right, Mom?
20:34Yeah.
20:35No.
20:36What am I saying yeah for?
20:37You caught me.
20:38No.
20:39That is not how it works.
20:40You got it, dog.
20:41Don't teach him how to be a deadbeat dad.
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