- há 7 meses
The twins rule the house with their constant tantrums, they're still attached to their pacifiers, and Jo finds condoms in 13 y.o. Eric's room
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00:00Well, I'm here in chilly Boston about to take a look as a family.
00:08So join me.
00:10Hi, we're the Sacco family.
00:12I'm Eric.
00:13I'm Elise, and we have four children.
00:15Eric is 13.
00:18Ashley is 10.
00:20Luke and Lily are going to be four next month.
00:22I work at Boston Logan Airport.
00:30A typical work week for me is about 70 hours.
00:33I'm a stay-at-home mom.
00:36Our son Eric doesn't really care for school.
00:39I'm not taking the test.
00:40Don't take it.
00:42You don't have to go to high school.
00:43All right, I won't go to high school.
00:45He doesn't really socialize with us.
00:47He doesn't eat with us.
00:48He really doesn't like us, I don't think.
00:50Look at this, look, this boy's 13 years old,
00:53and he's isolating himself from the family.
00:55He's a big baby.
00:57Ashley's a fourth grader.
00:59One helps, is he set up?
01:01I feel bad for Ashley that we just don't give her enough attention
01:04and we don't give her enough time.
01:06Mickey.
01:07Luke and Lily usually have their pacifiers in their mouth
01:10maybe six hours during the day.
01:12What am I thinking?
01:14They will not give them up.
01:15Get up.
01:17Come here.
01:18Oh, look at this.
01:20Four years old, and they've got the binkies
01:22in their mouth, night and day.
01:30It's a nightmare when I come home from work.
01:38It's laundry, doing dishes.
01:40Want me to show you how to fold?
01:42I know how to fold laundry, jackass.
01:44Hold on a minute.
01:45Dad's been at work all day, and then he comes home,
01:48and he starts to do loads of chores as well.
01:51Um, what's Mom doing then?
01:53Hello?
01:54Hello?
01:55Hi, Dad.
01:56Judy Redd.
01:57Elise is on the telephone between four and five hours a day.
02:01Hello?
02:02It's Elise.
02:03I do have an addiction to the phone.
02:04Dorothy and him.
02:05None of my conversations are ever really important.
02:09Just out of boredom, I think.
02:10So call me back.
02:11Bye.
02:12Bye.
02:13Bye.
02:14I'm going to figure out that $400 cell phone bill.
02:19You don't have to go to sleep.
02:20You can lie down, though.
02:22Come on.
02:25I've given up on trying to get them
02:27to sleep in their own bed.
02:29Do you want to go in with Daddy, too?
02:31The last time me and my wife slept alone in our room
02:34was probably a year ago.
02:38Do you want me sleeping next to you every night alone?
02:41I don't care.
02:42She don't care.
02:43Oh, dear.
02:45No!
02:46I'm tired of the constant fighting
02:49because we can't get things under control.
02:51Put them away.
02:52Make your bed.
02:53We have a 13-year-old that is going down the wrong path.
02:56Clean up your room.
02:58Physically and mentally, I mean, I'm ready for a breakdown.
03:01Soup and Annie, we need your help.
03:03More than we could imagine.
03:05Mom, don't worry, because we will set it right.
03:08And I promise you, Dad, you'll get the rest you need.
03:11I'm almost there.
03:13Come on in.
03:15Come on in.
03:17Come on in.
03:21Come on in.
03:22Come on in.
03:23Hello.
03:24Hi.
03:25Nice to meet you.
03:26You're welcome.
03:27Come on in.
03:29When I first met the family, they were pleased to see me.
03:31Obviously, glad I was there.
03:34This is Ashley.
03:35Hi, Ashley.
03:36Pleased to meet you.
03:38And this is Lily and Luke.
03:40How are you?
03:41Good.
03:42And you've got another one, right?
03:43Yes, Eric.
03:44Eric, where's Eric?
03:45Eric's not home yet from school.
03:46He's not?
03:47He should be home in a few minutes.
03:48Big Eric's at work.
03:49Is that right?
03:50Big Eric's working.
03:51See?
03:52When Joe arrived, it was very exciting, but also nerve wracking.
03:55You know, I was really anxious, kind of fear of the unknown.
03:59I started to watch the family straight away.
04:03And what I saw were twins, Luke and Lily, with pacifiers in their mouth.
04:09And apparently, these binkies don't come out for nothing.
04:12You don't have to eat it all.
04:14Just take a few more bites.
04:16When four-year-old little Luke wouldn't eat, Mom used his binky as a reward.
04:22Binky!
04:23What do you...
04:24No, you don't need a binky until you eat your lunch.
04:27Binky!
04:28Binkies are an aid to serve a purpose for a very short period of time.
04:32And then they should be gotten rid of.
04:34And these haven't been gotten rid of.
04:37They've now become an emotional crutch.
04:39These kids are four years old.
04:41Give him a binky!
04:43Mom!
04:44I want a binky!
04:45Listen.
04:46I want a binky!
04:47Eventually, Mom gave in, and she let him have his binky anyway.
04:51I see your lips.
05:02Look how sore your lips are.
05:05They're raw.
05:07At what point do you not wake up as a parent and see this and go,
05:10we need to do something about this?
05:12It's convenient for them to keep the binkies in their mouth
05:15and use the binkies as a tool when they misbehave.
05:18But actually, they're not seeing the damage that it's causing here.
05:22That afternoon, young Eric did come home from school,
05:30and I wasn't given the warmest of welcomes.
05:34Hi, Eric.
05:35Hi.
05:36Pleased to meet you.
05:37I'm Joe.
05:38Hi.
05:39How are you doing?
05:40Good.
05:41How was it?
05:44Young Eric is quite detached from the family.
05:49He'll amuse himself with little video games
05:52or listening to his music stations,
05:54so he doesn't have to engage in conversation with his family.
05:59I asked Eric if I could talk to him privately,
06:01so we went downstairs into his bedroom.
06:04So do you get time to hang out with your mum and dad,
06:06or not the done thing, ain't cool?
06:08I don't really go upstairs that much.
06:10Yeah, really?
06:12You don't want to do it.
06:14Why?
06:15I don't know.
06:16It's quiet down here.
06:17So what about, like, your mum and dad?
06:18Do you get time to, like, hang out and do anything with them, or...?
06:21No, not really.
06:22Do they do anything where you go out as a family?
06:25Sometimes, not.
06:26I don't know.
06:27Not really.
06:28There certainly could be more communication
06:32between you and your mum and dad.
06:35Would you agree with that or not?
06:37Yeah, I guess.
06:38Mm-hm.
06:39Right.
06:40Some of the stuff I don't feel comfortable talking to my mum about.
06:43My dad.
06:44Right.
06:45On my way up the stairwell from my conversation,
06:49I saw that he had two condoms in his room.
06:53Who's yours?
06:54What?
06:56Yeah.
06:57Huh?
06:58Yeah.
06:59Do your mum and dad know about all that?
07:00Yeah.
07:01Finding condoms in a child who's 13 years old's bedroom,
07:07yeah, it's a shock.
07:10I'm going to need to talk to his mum and dad because I don't think
07:13they're going to be OK with this either.
07:19Dad came home from work shortly before dinner.
07:21Hi.
07:22Hi.
07:23Nice to meet you, Joe.
07:24Hi, Eric.
07:25Nice to meet you.
07:26There really wasn't time for me to have this chat with dad like,
07:29Hi, how are you doing?
07:30I mean, I just took him straight down to little Eric's bedroom and I wanted to know what he
07:35thought about his son who's 13 years old with condoms in his bedroom.
07:39Are you in a place where you feel that you can actually just sit and have a conversation with
07:46little Eric?
07:47As long as it's not confrontational, you know, we're fine.
07:51We can talk about video games, sports, football, fantasy football, whatever it may be.
07:55What about his puberty?
07:56Who spoke to him about sex education?
07:58Who spoke to him about responsibility in having sex?
08:01I completely backed off.
08:03I never had to do it before, so...
08:06So that for you was a bit daunting to have?
08:08Yeah, he's grown up now, he's not a little kid anymore.
08:11Is little Eric sexually active?
08:13I don't know.
08:14Right.
08:15I would like to say no.
08:16So would I assume that those belonged to his friend?
08:20He said they weren't his.
08:22Right.
08:23And I just left it at that.
08:25I think dad's being totally irresponsible.
08:27I know it can be difficult sometimes for parents to talk about sex with their teenagers,
08:32but at the end of the day, if he doesn't, little Eric could be in serious.
08:37Serious trouble.
08:39And by that I mean dealing with serious issues for the rest of his life.
08:43When we went upstairs, I saw that it was dinner time,
08:46but little Eric wasn't interested in sitting down with his family and having that meal.
08:51Where would you normally eat?
08:53Downstairs.
08:55Why don't you sit down?
08:59And in the meantime, dad sat down at the table, but he wasn't eating either.
09:04If I wasn't so tired, I wouldn't even be sitting at the table right now.
09:07Really?
09:08What would you normally be doing then?
09:09Cleaning, clothes, laundry, chasing them around if they weren't sitting down.
09:14When you come home, a normal day for you is cleaning, doing the laundry.
09:19Yeah, washing, folding, putting away.
09:22And sure enough, dad got up from the dining table and started to do all the house chores
09:29that mum could have done when she was at home.
09:32Nothing.
09:338.45 and the twins bedtime act was about to begin.
09:42And yes, mum and dad didn't even attempt to put the twins in their beds.
09:47Seriously, I knew exactly where this was going and I thought,
09:51I might as well leave for the evening now, I've seen enough.
09:53I am extremely looking forward to seeing you tomorrow.
09:56OK.
09:57Because we do need a family meeting.
09:58OK.
09:59There's much to be resolved here.
10:00OK.
10:01I am worried about what Jill will say during our first meeting.
10:04I will see you tomorrow.
10:06OK.
10:07Good night.
10:26So I think we should get straight to the point.
10:28Because there's certainly no time to waste here.
10:31Responsibilities.
10:33When the pair of you got together, it was about how you were going to manage together.
10:38What happened to that?
10:43Well, somebody better speak.
10:45Because what happened to the pair of you recognizing that you have responsibilities?
10:51I don't know.
10:53I think maybe we became so overwhelmed by them that it was just easier to let them kind of
11:00run the routine the way they wanted it.
11:03I mean, let's just look at the chores.
11:06You guys don't work out who will do what.
11:09How many hours do you work, Eric?
11:12About 60 hours a week.
11:1360 hours a week.
11:1460 hours a week.
11:15And how many hours do you work at home?
11:17The same.
11:18More.
11:19All day, all night.
11:20Really?
11:21And then you woke up and realized you were dreaming, you mean?
11:24Yeah.
11:25Yeah.
11:26I don't find it funny.
11:27I think, well, my day doesn't end sometimes.
11:29What do you mean your day don't end?
11:31It don't bloody begin.
11:32You spent time on the phone.
11:35Mm-hm.
11:36You spent time just walking around the house, up and down.
11:39You spent time walking back and forth from a dining table with your kids.
11:45I mean, quite frankly, I don't know what you do with your hours.
11:50But I tell you one thing as a woman, if my husband's working, I do want to make sure
11:55that I'm doing what I should be doing at home.
11:57And if now I'm making you think about that, because this is the first time I've seen you
12:05become emotional because it's the first time you've even had to sit and think about your
12:10actions.
12:11You're right.
12:12And you need to be able to do that.
12:14Let's talk about the development of the twins.
12:21You've got the kids on pacifiers.
12:24Binky galore in this house.
12:26When you're looking at your son and he's got chapped lips that have split and broken,
12:32when you're actually having to tell your children to take the binkies out of their mouth because
12:37you can't hear them, at what point doesn't the lightbulb switch on?
12:42I didn't think the binkies was that major of an issue.
12:47You would rather they have the binky rather than cry, even if it's damaging them health-wise.
12:54I can't even defend myself.
12:57So...
12:58That's crazy.
13:00You have a son who's 13 years old.
13:04And I do want to talk about little Eric.
13:07There's no purpose of him feeling he can come and talk to you about things that he's going
13:11through as a teenager.
13:12I go down to his bedroom yesterday to talk to him and I see two condoms.
13:19Emotionally, he's still a 13-year-old.
13:22I don't know a way to get through to him or a way to talk to him the right way.
13:29What do you expect from me?
13:30I think most of all, we want you to teach us how to teach them.
13:35I want them to have boundaries.
13:37I want them to feel loved.
13:39I want them to feel that we respect them and I want them to respect us.
13:45If I am to teach you, then you are to come into my classroom, in your home, to listen,
13:53to give me 100% commitment, to take direction, to follow through and to not give up.
14:03And we will.
14:05See you bright and early.
14:10Because Dad's doing nearly all the work and Mum's virtually doing none of the work,
14:16the first thing I want to do is put Mum and Dad in the same room
14:21so they can have a head-on confront about these issues.
14:25What I would like you both to do is to come to the easels and write down what you believe
14:31your responsibilities are at present.
14:37It was basically me and my wife face to face and I thought it was going to lead to
14:42some sort of confrontation.
14:44Now tick those responsibilities that you actually do.
14:58So if we both do it, put a tick against it.
15:01It was difficult.
15:02Eric and I facing each other, we don't communicate.
15:06Mum finds excuses of why she doesn't just knuckle down and take ownership of her responsibilities.
15:18It's building up resentment.
15:20Dad's tolerance is zero.
15:22He's very cheesed off.
15:24Eric, how many points?
15:31Fourteen.
15:32Fourteen.
15:33And how many of those bullet points have you tipped?
15:36Nine.
15:38OK, how many bullet points do you have?
15:40I have seven.
15:41Seven.
15:42How many do you actually do of those?
15:44One.
15:46Doesn't that say something?
15:48That Eric's doing the majority of the work.
15:52Mum's taking Dad for granted.
15:54And she knows it.
15:56Do you have anything on your responsible easel here that you feel Mum could have on hers?
16:10Driving them to school on occasions.
16:14What do you think about that?
16:16Driving to school.
16:17What do you think about that?
16:18Ten.
16:19Do you think that's something you should be doing?
16:20Yeah.
16:21I mean, do you agree with it or not?
16:22I mean, at the end of the day, this is about you two.
16:24Talking about that.
16:25I wouldn't mind driving them to school.
16:27What else do you see on this list that you believe should be a shared responsibility?
16:31You know, laundry, cleaning up the house, bath time.
16:34Yeah.
16:35We should split it.
16:36It was uncomfortable to kind of get all of those things out and have them right in front of you to read in black and white.
16:45Does it seem fair?
16:46Yeah.
16:47Yes.
16:48I think I think I could add helping with the homework on mine, too.
16:52I think you should.
16:53Yeah.
16:54With her taking a lot of the chores and splitting them in half, it does take a lot off of my shoulder.
17:00With mum and dad now doing right, it's time to tackle the kids.
17:07We've got twins who are four years old and they are constantly sucking on those pacifiers and it really isn't any good for them.
17:16So what I'm going to do is introduce them to a very special young lady.
17:24This is our own Binky Fairy.
17:26We're going to explain to the children that the Binky Fairy came and that the Binky Fairy is collecting all the Binkies to give to the babies that need them.
17:36And we're going to help the Binky Fairy.
17:38And then it was showtime.
17:39You know what this is?
17:41Look at Lily.
17:42Do you know who that is?
17:43It's the Binky Fairy.
17:45Binky Fairy.
17:47That's her.
17:48She came to visit.
17:49See the net she has?
17:51So she's here today.
17:53She wants to help us collect all the Binkies and bring them to the little babies.
17:59As I suspected, Luke wasn't going to give up his pacifier without a real fight.
18:06So are you going to help us?
18:08You don't need that.
18:09You want to put a high five, Lily.
18:13Lily was more than ready to hand over her pacifier.
18:17She wanted to be a big girl.
18:19She wanted to show us all she was a big girl.
18:21Luke, on the other hand, was devastated.
18:24What are you going to give us?
18:26Come here.
18:28You have to learn about it to do this, okay?
18:31You're a big boy now and you don't need that Binky anymore.
18:34Yeah.
18:35No.
18:36I did not think I would be able to just take the Binkies away from them.
18:40No, no.
18:41Yeah, we're going to take the Binky.
18:43Okay?
18:44The Binky Fairy is.
18:45The Binky Fairy needs it.
18:46You are a big boy now.
18:48Okay?
18:49And it's not good for you anymore.
18:51Yeah.
18:52I got to take it.
18:53All right?
18:54Yeah.
18:55Binky!
18:56Binky!
18:57Binky!
18:58Binky!
18:59Binky!
19:00No.
19:01No.
19:02No.
19:03No.
19:04And he wasn't a happy chappy.
19:06Just place the Binky Fairy up somewhere in the kitchen.
19:09Yeah.
19:10Binky!
19:11Binky!
19:12You're a big boy now.
19:13I don't want to be a big boy.
19:15But you are.
19:16Your turn to spin.
19:17Binky!
19:18Binky!
19:19Binky!
19:20Binky!
19:21Binky!
19:22After almost an hour, Luke did finally calm down.
19:26So tomorrow I want to finish off the Binky Fairy because I've got a little surprise for them.
19:31You know, I can see why parents get a little bit apprehensive about having the sex talk with
19:41their kids.
19:42But at the end of the day, Dad's got no choice.
19:44So I gave him some tips to help him along the way.
19:47And now it's down to these two men to have a conversation.
19:51I was nervous sitting down.
19:53It's a tough conversation to have.
19:55We don't communicate enough at all.
19:58And that has to change.
20:00You have issues in school, issues with your friends, girlfriends, whatever it.
20:06Just come to me.
20:07Ask me.
20:12I could see that within the conversation there was a lot of pause.
20:16And I know it was where Dad was revving up the courage to get on to the next topic.
20:26And I thought, this is not going to happen.
20:28So I grabbed young Eric's condoms.
20:32I thought you boys might want to talk about that.
20:39These yours?
20:41Yeah, I guess.
20:42Do you need them?
20:43I guess not.
20:45I think you're way too young.
20:47As awkward as this conversation is going to be for Dad, it's absolutely vital that he
20:52have it because he could stop little Eric from making some really bad choices.
21:01Do you realize what the consequences are?
21:03Mm-hmm.
21:04What is the consequence, Eric?
21:06You get her pregnant.
21:07There's HIV.
21:08There's a bunch of diseases.
21:10Yeah.
21:11It was an uncomfortable conversation, to say the least.
21:14It was a relief.
21:16Now it's teaching him going forward.
21:18You've got a girl pregnant.
21:19I mean, you've got a lifetime commitment.
21:21Commitment.
21:23Mentally, physically, financially.
21:26And this young.
21:28The way Dad actually handled the conversation was impressive because he was mature.
21:36I'm glad we talked.
21:39Do you have any questions?
21:41Now you know you can come to me.
21:42As much as the conversation may have felt awkward for Dad, I'm really glad that he had this conversation
21:49with Eric because, let's face it, if you can talk about sex, you can talk about most things, right?
21:54On my next day of teaching, there were two issues that I still needed to take care of.
22:04First being the binky fairy had come overnight and left these kids some little surprises.
22:10Daddy, where's the binky fairy?
22:12Fly away?
22:15Guess what she brought you.
22:18What's this?
22:19Joe's pass-a-fairy technique works.
22:22That one's Lucie's.
22:25That one's yours.
22:26What is it?
22:27It's your favorite.
22:31Dinosaur.
22:33Huh?
22:34Aren't you glad you did it now?
22:36Even though Luc was very resistant at first, as soon as he got his present,
22:41I knew that Mum and Dad knew that he would be okay.
22:45A bit of magic and a bit of willpower, right?
22:48A bit of magic and a little bit of willpower and some understanding of the importance of why.
22:54Yeah.
22:55Look at him, look, happy as Larry.
22:57And I thought it was going to be much worse, and it wasn't.
23:00Next, I needed to continue the conversation about little Eric, and Mum had a few words
23:09to add to that conversation that I felt would really make a difference.
23:13Come here, quickly.
23:14Three of you.
23:16I found out I was pregnant with Eric on, like, two weeks before my 18th birthday.
23:20I was 17 when I found out.
23:22So, um, it was...it was hard.
23:25In all reality, you know the seriousness of...
23:28Yeah, I know, I know.
23:29You do?
23:30Okay.
23:31What do you know?
23:32What do you know?
23:33Um, that I can get a girl pregnant.
23:34Mm-hmm.
23:35And that I can get a bunch of diseases.
23:36Mm-hmm.
23:37Yeah.
23:38So I think he understands a little bit, but I think that he still thinks that the whole
23:42sex thing is just glorified with his friends and, you know, TV and everywhere.
23:49It's everywhere.
23:50And, you know, I just try...I tried to explain the best I could.
23:53And more importantly, when you do something like that with someone at your age,
23:59it's not gonna be as special and unique as if you waited and did it when you were older.
24:06But somebody you actually were involved with.
24:08Care about.
24:09It was very important for us to have that talk.
24:11I guess I just keep seeing him as my little guy and, you know, not growing up.
24:16I think it would be irresponsible for you to participate in sexual activity at your age.
24:23We're too young to be grandparents and you're way too young to be a father.
24:28But I'm hoping that we're talking about it, you know, it's gonna prevent him from doing that.
24:35As the day progressed, I was really pleased to see Mum was making some real progress with the house chores that needed to be done.
24:43Good for her.
24:57Before I leave, though, there is one more issue that I need to take care of and that's Luke and Lily's sleeping arrangements.
25:04For the first night in their new beds, Dad would be reading them stories and Mum would be in charge of making sure that they got down for the night.
25:13You are going to sit in the middle of the two beds.
25:18OK.
25:19On the floor.
25:20OK.
25:21When they come out of their beds, I want you to just turn around and say to them,
25:27It's bedtime.
25:28OK.
25:29OK.
25:30And place them back into their beds.
25:33The next time they come out of their beds, I want you to say nothing.
25:38Just place them back into their beds.
25:40OK.
25:41Let's do it then.
25:42OK.
25:43And trouble started as soon as Dad started to get ready to leave the room.
25:47Night-night.
25:48I'll see you in the morning.
25:49OK.
25:50I'll see you in the morning.
25:51I don't want to go there.
25:52OK.
25:53I'll see you in the morning.
25:54I don't want to go there.
25:55I love you.
25:56I don't want to go there.
25:57I love you.
25:58I don't want to go there.
25:59All right.
26:00Daddy!
26:01Mum sat on the floor in the bedroom and I sat nearby so I could coach her.
26:10I want to go there.
26:11No.
26:12Not out of the bed.
26:13Lay down.
26:14Daddy!
26:15You're talking.
26:16No talking.
26:17OK.
26:18Just resume position.
26:19OK.
26:20In the bed.
26:21As a mum, you want to comfort them.
26:22So it was really, really hard not to turn around when they were crying and say, you know,
26:27mummy's right here.
26:28You're going to be fine.
26:29Daddy!
26:30And then when Lily got out of bed, Luke saw this opportunity to leg it out of the room.
26:37Baby.
26:38Daddy.
26:39Daddy.
26:40Daddy.
26:41Daddy.
26:42Daddy.
26:43Daddy.
26:44Daddy.
26:45Daddy.
26:46Daddy.
26:47Daddy.
26:48Daddy.
26:49Daddy.
26:50Daddy.
26:52Look finally settled and went off to sleep.
26:52But Lily, she was wide awake.
26:58pork.
26:59I was going to forget.
27:00It's
27:14seems like when you're sitting there that it's never going to end.
27:17but it did 90 minutes later both kids were asleep and mum was finished well done well done thank
27:29you you really held on in there with the kids now quietly asleep it's time for me to leave
27:34for several days so that i can see exactly how mum and dad are going to handle the situation
27:39while i'm gone i'm going to make tracks off for just a few days leaving you guys to follow through
27:47with the techniques okay i am a little nervous about her leaving and not being there with us
27:53to kind of guide us through okay you're welcome okay we're going to make mistakes we're going to
27:58still do things the wrong way but you have to learn to do it without joe now
28:17i've been away for a bit so i'm wondering how this family have got on
28:27and how it's going with little eric one to ten how well do you think you've done eight eight
28:33i like it so let's take a look at our first clip here
28:47out of curiosity was that truth or she did she did okay be aware of it if it gets her out of bed
29:07and she knows that she'll stick with that that was like an hour and a half less than last night
29:31absolutely marvelous such a good job you executed that technique so well look at the results you
29:44got and i slept last night like straight through for the first night in a while so so you feel good
29:52today a proper night's sleep more of those but it's a good dose of medicine right yeah responsibilities
30:00how has that been going it's been going good yeah well let's take a look at that
30:11do you want me to make look at molly's bed no i'll do it
30:17hey guys hi daddy hi daddy daddy daddy daddy's
30:21another good piece of footage their showing you guys knuckling down
30:32and taking on your responsibilities and really working together being in sync with that
30:38makes me feel good to take some of the pressure off of him too although it seems like you know
30:44a little thing knowing that you know i have more time with the kids means a lot means a lot to me
30:51so eric's manners do we feel that he has improved you're shaking your head already
30:57no no all right let's take a look and see what he has to say for himself if you take the laptop with
31:05you i'm going to take it away and your phone give it to me turn on yeah well you know what
31:11and because you're disrespectful you're not getting it back this is just stupid give me a phone no i'm
31:17gonna give me a phone now i'm not gonna ask you again give me your phone no give me the phone if
31:26you don't give me the phone then i'm gonna wait till daddy comes home and he's gonna take it all
31:29right he can take it i'm trying to suspend the service on one of the phones um for my account
31:36just maybe like a week or two okay right it's immediate okay great you cancelled my phone
31:50listen to me do me a favor i have all the favors i do for you later on when the kids are in bed just
31:55sit down with her and apologize to her for talking back to her okay and we'll take the next
32:01step from there about your phone i'm still trying to get over what he said when you left
32:07it's not funny i know but i'm surprised that he even said it it's being disrespectful but overall
32:15the situation could have been handled a lot better when you come home and you went into that room to
32:23speak to eric you were the peacemaker you know if i could get him to say sorry then maybe it will just
32:32put a band-aid over the situation rather than stepping up as the man of the house after hearing that
32:43i would have expected you to have very clearly of stood by elise in the fact that he was wrong with
32:54how he chose to behave so there's tough decisions that you guys need to make and follow through on
33:02when it comes to eric but there's still more hard work that we guys need to do together
33:07so are we still up for that hard work we are good yeah yeah
33:17mum and dad are still having issues with their 13 year old son eric he's being disrespectful so i've
33:23got a cheeky little technique to give that boy he's got to get three simple answers from his parents
33:31from the questions i'm gonna give him this is about how smart you are with your communication skills
33:37but then i told mom and dad don't give the answers no matter what i want you to give him everything
33:43he gives you this is real reversal wait a second eric wow wait a minute eric i'm doing something eric's
33:53attitude is that i don't care you know i'm better than everyone attitude right now wow
33:59i go skiing outside today i can't right now i'm doing something what i'm doing something right now tell me
34:07just give me an answer i'm doing something right now i started going to ask my parents the questions
34:11and they started texting and not ignoring me and uh listening to their ipods can i go skating
34:18we ignored him we were rude to him we didn't look in his eyes
34:26can i go skating um wait a minute
34:31can i go skating wait a minute i'm busy we gave him the treatment that he gives us
34:36three questions they're ignoring me yeah they're ignoring you eric's got the points there's no two
34:43ways about that so i gathered the whole family together to ask eric what he learned from the
34:47experience i know just after a while they were doing what i was doing this disrespectful oh the
34:53light bulb switching on dude give me five it was nice that he recognized that that's how he acts towards
35:00us all right now tell me how that made you feel when you were trying to get those three questions i
35:03needed out of you aggravated that they weren't answering i learned that i should pay attention
35:08to my parents more when they talk to me so i hope that was a valuable lesson was it it was yes yes
35:16i'll give me a kiss
35:20the final thing i want to do is really encourage eric to spend more time with his family
35:24so i'm going to take them all bowling so that he can realize that's actually fun hanging out with his
35:30family
35:42come down there you go nice throw
35:46it was fun it was a lot of fun it was nice to spend you know good family quality time together with
35:56the kids
36:04roll it go like this little arc was interacting with luke and lily and ashley and kind of having
36:11fun with them it was nice it was nice to see
36:13it was nice to see me there you go
36:22never get out with my family so it was fun they were well behaved for a change
36:28what have you learned from today i learned that i shouldn't be downstairs my whole life
36:33that's what i'm talking about there you go buddy today was different we had a good time today
36:39good job it was really great to see this family having a laugh and just enjoying being together
36:49so i really hope that it's motivated this family to do more things together in the future good girl
37:00time for me to go so i'm going to say goodbye to all of you
37:03we probably would have never made these changes without joe coming joe really opened our eyes in
37:09the sense of what was going wrong in the house joe you are wicked awesome it was lovely it was lovely
37:16hey come here give us a hug joe thank you for coming to my house i'm going to say please and thank you
37:21from now on news matters bye bye have a hug bye eric take care keep up the work yeah we are different
37:28as a family now ashley keep up with your swimming we're more all together now on the same page it was
37:35worth it absolutely i'm now going now okay so what do we say what do you say
37:51i'm now going now
38:01you