00:00Here, here, here's the thing. When I make jokes about people that have disabilities, never the person with the disability gets mad at me.
00:08Well, there you go. Ever. There you go.
00:10It's always the person who knows the person with a disability. It's always the person who is like, my son.
00:15Do you get extra, you get extra firepower because you are a person of smaller stature?
00:22Yes, I'm a dwarf midget person of short stature. And I know it's my voice. You can't tell. I'm not on the radio like, oh, plus some stuff.
00:30I don't sound like that. But yes, I get a little more leeway because it's really hard to get mad at the dwarf who's making jokes.
00:41Do you ever have someone get pissed off at you and then not realize that you are? And then you see them like...
00:48Yeah, on the radio. Yeah, on the radio that happens because like I said, it don't sound like...
00:53And then they come like, how dare... How would you like it if you have a disability?
00:57It's like, I can't wear adult clothes. Like, I gotta pick up chicks with Bob the Builder on my t-shirt.
01:05Yeah, like I did a show a few weeks ago and there was a guy in the audience and he was in a wheelchair and he didn't have any legs, right?
01:13And I immediately started making fun of him. And he was laughing. You can tell he's laughing because the chair was moving back and forth real fast.
01:20And the audience got mad and like one dude stood up. He's like, stop making fun of him! What if he gets mad at you?
01:27And I was like, I'll run up some stairs. I'm not worried. This guy's not gonna do... He's not a threat.
01:33So yeah, like it's always people that don't have the ailment that I'm talking about that get mad.
01:39Do you ever get hit up for... Do scripts come your way for...
01:43Yeah.
01:44What's the most bizarre you've gotten sent your way?
01:47Oh my god.
01:48Because you know, you had... When the Herve Villachez story was being done, right?
01:53Well yeah, because that's Dinklage though.
01:55Yeah.
01:55That's the problem.
01:56He produced it.
01:57Dinklage is the top guy. I hate Peter Dinklage. It's strictly jealousy. It has nothing to do with him as a person.
02:04He's probably a delightful human being, but he's in everything.
02:06If they made a movie and called it the Brad Williams story, he would be starring Peter Dinklage.
02:11It's madness.
02:13What's the craziest thing you've been offered?
02:15Well, the craziest thing I was ever offered, and I actually did it.
02:20So this one dude wrote me and said, hey, I'm doing a horror film and I need you to be like a monster or whatever.
02:31And I was like, all right, cool.
02:32And I had to sit in the chair. They put the mold all around me. You have to sit there for however many minutes.
02:38Closed your phone, right?
02:39Yeah, so the mold sets. It's really kind of scary. And then you do it. And then he goes, okay, this could be the monster mold.
02:44And I did the film. It's like some low budget independent. It's nothing in one scene.
02:50What I didn't know is that the guy took the mold and sold it to somebody who turned me into a sex toy.
03:03Are you kidding?
03:05There's a Brad Williams sex toy?
03:07Yes. Well, not anymore because I sued them.
03:11Were you flattered?
03:12That's unbelievable.
03:12Were you slightly flattered?
03:14Slightly flattered, but like, dude, it was freaky because someone gave me the website.
03:19Did you get one at least before you sued them?
03:21Because you could literally go F yourself.
03:23Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
03:25Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. My wife could have something to do while I was gone.
03:29But yeah, like I looked at this website. It was me.
03:34Oh my God.
03:35It was me.
03:36And I just thought to myself, like, how weird is this going to be if someone on the street who bought this sees me walking the other way?
03:44Yeah.
03:44And just goes, whoa, like, and just like has this weird reaction.
03:47I'm like, why are you acting like that?
03:48And he's like, well, I usually put my penis somewhere on you.
03:51Like, that's great.
03:54Was it being marketed as Brad Williams?
03:57No, I'm sure not.
03:58No, it was marketed as like a midget sex toy.
04:02Like, this is how you could bang a dwarf.
04:06What a world.
04:07Yeah, and I'm just like, wow.
04:09So, yeah, I had to get my legal team involved in that.
04:12Brad, what were they going for? Do you know?
04:14I'm just curious.
04:14It was like $125.
04:16It was like an expensive sex toy.
04:18Wow.
04:18I once was asked to play in a charity golf tournament.
04:21And I thought, absolutely, great.
04:23I'll go play in the charity golf tournament.
04:25And I do.
04:26And they had these golf carts that had the names of all the celebrities on the golf carts.
04:30So, I'm walking, and it's Bill Engvall was in it, and like some guy from Greece, not John Travolta.
04:37So, who the hell cares?
04:39And then I see my golf cart.
04:42It says Wee Man on the golf cart.
04:46No way.
04:48It says Wee Man on the golf cart.
04:50And at first, I was pissed.
04:52And then the group I was playing with started walking towards me going, oh, we're so glad we got Wee Man.
04:59All our friends got lame celebrities.
05:01We got Wee Man.
05:02I'm like, oh, God.
05:02Now I got it.
05:03Yep.
05:04Now I can't be like, oh, you actually did get a lame celebrity.
05:08So, I faked it.
05:09I faked being Wee Man because I thought, ah, these guys are giving a lot of money to Cherry.
05:14Let's make sure they have a good time.
05:16So, like, I faked it.
05:18I started saying it was Wee Man.
05:19Then we get to this hole that's sponsored by Hooters.
05:22Because if you play in these charity golf tournaments, there's all these holes that are sponsored by different restaurants, corporations, whatever.
05:28So, the hole is sponsored by Hooters.
05:30It's a bunch of girls.
05:31They're the Hooters girls.
05:32They have the wings and beer and stuff.
05:33And we walk up, and this Hooters waitress sees me and goes, that's not Wee Man.
05:40Wow.
05:40And I'm like, what?
05:42No, no, no.
05:43I'm Wee Man.
05:43I like it because now this has gone down to, like, 12, 14 holes.
05:47I can't, like, just suddenly turn around.
05:49So, I'm like, no, what are you talking about?
05:50I'm Wee Man.
05:50And she goes, no, that's not Wee Man.
05:52I had sex with Wee Man.
05:54Oh, God.
05:54You are not Wee Man.
05:56And I'm like, what?
05:57So, I run up to her.
05:59Oh, my God.
06:00I grab her by the wrist, and I kind of explain her the situation.
06:03And I'm like, hey, I know I'm not Wee Man.
06:06These guys are doing it for charity.
06:07Think I am.
06:08The freaking charity thought I was.
06:13Like, so it's on them.
06:14This is not me trying to do this.
06:15Just playing along.
06:16And then I peeled her off, like, 40 bucks.
06:18Because when you give 40 bucks to a Hooters waitress, they'll do anything.
06:23So, did she immediately, was she receptive to it or did you have to work her?
06:26She immediately flipped around.
06:28I was like, okay, totally get it.
06:29And she's like, oh, never mind.
06:31I was wrong.
06:32Wee Man.
06:33And I thought, kudos to her.
06:35Yeah.
06:35Because she's, first of all, she blatantly just yelled out in front of a group of strangers,
06:40I had sex with a midget.
06:42And then, a few minutes later, says to the same strangers, I had sex with a midget and forgot
06:48which midget it was.
06:50So, that's, kudos to her.
06:53That's worth 40 bucks.
06:54That's worth 40 bucks just for that moment.
06:56But then, here's the best part.
06:58All right.
06:59It's not done.
07:00Here's the best part.
07:01So, now the problem is solved.
07:03And now the guys are, like, all teeing off.
07:07And I go to the back and I kind of go to her and go, hey, so you had sex with a Wee Man?
07:11And she goes, yeah, I had sex with a Wee Man.
07:13And she goes, yeah, you came in the restaurant.
07:16He chatted me up and it was good.
07:18I recognized him and then we had a little fun.
07:20And then she goes, here, I'll show you a picture.
07:22And she busts out the picture and she shows me the picture.
07:25And I look at the picture and I go, that's my dwarf friend, Sean.
07:29Oh, yes!
07:31That's not Wee Man.
07:32That's not Wee Man.
07:33She did not have sex with Wee Man.
07:36She had sex with Sean.
07:38That's great.
07:38That's not Wee Man.
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