- 1 year ago
Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about the rise of cuddle therapy due to people suffering from daily loneliness. Then, after researching some cuddle therapists, find the perfect one for Chuck.
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00:00We have talked about professional cuddlers on the show before,
00:09but I guess the loneliness epidemic in America
00:14is getting bigger and bigger and worse and worse.
00:18About 20% of Americans now say they feel daily loneliness.
00:25That's the highest level in years.
00:27So that has led to a big uptick in professional cuddlers and co-housing.
00:37Oh, my God.
00:37They did a story on it at ABC News,
00:41and it starts with this man going in for his professional cuddle session.
00:46I don't like this.
00:47I just don't understand how it doesn't go sexual.
00:50I really don't.
00:51If I'm lying with my head in a lady's lap, how does it not?
00:56It usually does, you know?
00:58I just don't think there's any way that dude's there, like, just to relax.
01:03Oh, my God.
01:04I don't like it.
01:06So she's lying.
01:08Are you comfortable?
01:09Yes.
01:10I'm honestly trying to fight falling asleep instantly.
01:13And if you fall asleep, do you want me to wake you up?
01:15Yes.
01:15Okay.
01:16So she's, like, sitting on a bed with her back against the back of the bed,
01:20and he's lying completely flat with his head in her lap.
01:24There's a pillow under his head.
01:27Jasmine Simone works as a professional cuddler,
01:31using the power of platonic touch therapy
01:33to help adults struggling with issues from intimacy to anxiety to loneliness.
01:38Where are we right now?
01:40We're sitting on a bed right now.
01:41This is my daybed, and, um, yeah, this is what we use
01:45when people want to actually engage and touch.
01:48We can touch, and we don't need to be romantically involved.
01:51And it's still a really beautiful thing.
01:54Jasmine is on the front lines of helping the growing number of people
01:57grappling with loneliness.
01:59One thing I will never do.
02:01If I am that lonely, I'm going to a professional cuddler.
02:04I'm not going on.
02:05Going on the news?
02:06I made your network news interview about it.
02:08Are you kidding me?
02:10Human beings are a mess.
02:11Yeah.
02:11No, no, it's all it is.
02:12Whenever I watch this stuff, I'm just like,
02:14we are in the homestretch as a species.
02:16But we knew this, and we talked about the dangers of this years ago,
02:20like how it's just going to make us more isolated and more isolated
02:24when you just are connected through a device, right?
02:27You're on a computer or a phone, yeah.
02:27Yeah.
02:28And we're seeing it play out now,
02:29and how now we've got to go get a stranger to cuddle us.
02:32Yeah, it's really weird.
02:32I just don't know what's different.
02:34I feel like all my friends were like,
02:36I made friends in school, grew up.
02:38Some of them were still my friends,
02:40and then I moved away and made friends through work.
02:43Yep.
02:43And things like that.
02:45And then that's when you go with those friends to a bar,
02:48and then you meet other people.
02:49Yep.
02:50Yeah.
02:50I just like, people must just not be doing any of that anymore.
02:53Did they say the abrupt ending of the cuddling
02:56can cause despair and all that stuff?
02:58Yeah.
02:58Somebody just starts crying, I guess.
03:00Like banging on the door.
03:01Touch me!
03:02I just see it going south so quick.
03:04Watching that lady named Jasmine Seaman touch that man.
03:08Her name is Jasmine Seaman?
03:09I didn't notice her name.
03:10Stop it.
03:11I don't know if it's pronounced that way,
03:12but it sure is spelled like it.
03:14If you thought a lady named Seaman was going to cuddle you,
03:18you would assume more was going to happen.
03:20There can't be any males, right?
03:23No, probably not.
03:23Let's look up.
03:24But that woman, the original woman,
03:27seemed that in the cuddling story, she seemed legitimate.
03:30You know, she didn't seem like she was looking for it.
03:33Like an actual woman.
03:33She did seem legitimate.
03:34I will say that.
03:35As crazy as cuddle therapy is to imagine,
03:38she seemed like she was above board, I guess, if there's a way.
03:43Watching her touch that man was the most uncomfortable thing I may have ever seen.
03:46Yeah, it looked uncomfortable.
03:47This website of just local cuddle companions.
03:51Ooh.
03:52There you go.
03:53I don't think they're all just cuddling, you know?
03:56None of them I walked in on.
03:57We're just talking about the, hello, Chuck,
04:00inside the loneliness epidemic, professional cuddlers and social clubs and housing,
04:04things that people are turning to because Americans are at their highest level of loneliness
04:10they've ever reported.
04:12But are these just, is this just like regular prostitutes that also side hustle in the cuddle game?
04:18Yeah, and that's what he's looking at, I think so.
04:21That's what that looks like.
04:22But that's actually a real easy, if all I've got to do,
04:24if I'm a whore and all I've got to do is cuddle someone,
04:28you are.
04:29You are.
04:30Book the cuddle sessions, right?
04:32Yep.
04:33Well, don't you think, though, they're always upselling?
04:37Yeah, I think so.
04:38They're always upselling.
04:39Oh, my God.
04:39Because if you, if I'm cuddling with Burnstorm.
04:42Yeah, Burnstorm is, uh.
04:43If I'm cuddling with Burnstorm.
04:44She's upselling for sure.
04:46I'm going all the way with that.
04:48I mean, come on.
04:4995 bucks an hour.
04:51What the hell kind of picture is that?
04:53I don't know.
04:54Is it a wig?
04:55No, I think that's just her nest.
04:57It's just, uh.
04:57She's got the name of a transformer.
04:59Yeah.
05:00Yeah.
05:00Burnstorm.
05:01I'm a transformer.
05:02I'm a transformer.
05:06Now, this apparently, this looks like a legitimate site.
05:09Like, they will just cuddle you.
05:11It's a lot of big girls.
05:13Well, yeah.
05:13Well, they're the best to cuddle.
05:15They're the best to cuddle.
05:15We did find a guy.
05:17We were wondering if guys did this.
05:19Yep.
05:20I don't think I'd ever, could ever be that lonely to want this.
05:23I would get, I mean, if I was lonely, I'd have a dog.
05:26Right.
05:26Yeah.
05:27There's other ways around it.
05:28I just like, it just doesn't do that to me where I'm like, I'm giving up.
05:31I'm going to pay for cuddling.
05:32I'm just like, I will find a chick.
05:34No matter what.
05:36Yeah.
05:37I would pay, I think before cuddling, I think it would get all the way to, I'm paying for
05:44it all.
05:44True.
05:45That's where I'd be.
05:45You know what I mean?
05:46Like if I am, so we're not talking about a sexual thing, right?
05:51We're talking about just being lonely and not in needing that human connection with other
05:56people.
05:56Right.
05:57It's beyond the, the sexual part of it.
05:59And according to that story that we watched that you, right.
06:03It's just weird.
06:05Oh my God.
06:06Look at Greggles.
06:07Greggles.
06:08I just found my man.
06:11Greggles is crazy.
06:12I found my man.
06:14He's a camera.
06:14He's a name, Greggles.
06:15He's got a catty in his lap.
06:18And I'm here to make you, I'm here to cuddle at you.
06:22I'm making you feel safe like my cat.
06:24We just stumbled across the profile of this crazy looking guy named Greggles, who's a
06:30professional cuddler.
06:32Oh my goodness.
06:33For $80 an hour, I cuddle you as you do.
06:36I makes the cuddle on you.
06:41Let's me make you cuddles.
06:43Greggles.
06:44Greggles.
06:45He's the craziest looking man you'd never want to touch you.
06:47Even that cat's like, I'm not sure.
06:50That cat's like, that cat looks like it's telling the camera like, this is Greggles,
06:54dude.
06:54Get out of here.
06:55Tell somebody.
06:56Yeah.
06:56He's got one of his paws ready to escape.
06:58I've seen the look.
07:00I want to talk to Greggles.
07:01Me too.
07:01I was trying to see if they, by chance, had a, I don't know, you got a request.
07:05Yeah.
07:06They don't give out there.
07:07Yeah.
07:08Smart.
07:08Oh my God.
07:10Wow.
07:10Such a long bio.
07:11Yes.
07:11Have hole in your life.
07:12If you're a long link, then see the Greggles.
07:16You need Greggles.
07:17I know.
07:20Love me.
07:21That's an Instagram.
07:22Yeah.
07:22Oh, wow.
07:24That's him.
07:24I think, is that the, maybe the main?
07:26Oh.
07:26Oh yeah.
07:26That's their, their Instagram.
07:28Nobody ever touch you?
07:32Falling in love with Greggles.
07:33Oh my.
07:36Holy smokes.
07:37I have hair like Serial Killer, but it's okay.
07:40I'm cuddling you good.
07:41Big smile.
07:42He looks like someone too.
07:43There's like a, he's just like a mix of like a Jeff Goldblum.
07:50That's not good.
07:50And like someone else.
07:52That's so bad.
07:52He's got a little like Dimitri Martin.
07:54Yeah.
07:56And there's a guy I know who looks just like him.
07:57I feel like everybody knows who Greggles a little bit.
08:01You don't want him cuddling you.
08:02Oh, you don't want Greggles to touch you though.
08:04Oh my God.
08:05Greggles live with you long times.
08:07Yeah.
08:07Want to watch movie?
08:10Come on, man.
08:13That is crazy.
08:14Let us put on a film.
08:15There's no way that Greggles gets money, right?
08:18There's no way he makes a living at this.
08:20I mean, honestly, I might hire Greggles if I was having a party and just have him show
08:26up at the party and be like, listen, Greggles is coming over.
08:28That's the worst party ever.
08:30We're not going to cuddle him or anything.
08:32We're just going to hang out.
08:34I just want him to be here.
08:36Let me know if you invite Greggles to your party.
08:38I will not be at there.
08:40You're not probably going to show up to any party that I would invite you to.
08:44Oh, God.
08:45Did you imagine Chuck has a party?
08:46I can't even imagine.
08:49Oh, man.
08:50This is.
08:52Oh, my goodness.
08:54Can I tell you?
08:54Oh, my God.
08:56Yeah.
08:56She's got double F's.
08:58Yeah.
08:58It's not just knockers, though.
08:59That stomach is coming up the rear.
09:01Holy shoot.
09:02Those things.
09:02If I lay in her lap, those things would smother me to death.
09:06You can't lay in her lap.
09:07Those things might get shut in the bottom of the door if she's not careful.
09:12They are low hangers.
09:14She's got jugs.
09:15I mean, those.
09:16I don't know.
09:16Those are cannons.
09:17I mean, I don't know what what water.
09:20Holy shoot.
09:22You can book a 10 hour cuddle party.
09:25Come on.
09:26Yeah, that is sexual.
09:2710 hours of bliss.
09:29900 bucks.
09:31OK, but this is the thing.
09:32OK, so the chick with the huge knockers, you can understand the price being two hours for 300 bucks.
09:40That was the same price for the guy who said he was a model.
09:44He thinks he's a model.
09:45Oh, my God.
09:46He thinks he's on that level.
09:47You got to be like, look at me.
09:49I'm balding.
09:50Not I'm not doing the best.
09:52I'm like 40 bucks, like 40 bucks.
09:55I mean, that man looks like he like just recently survived a poisoning.
09:59He's still not right.
10:02He hasn't quite fought it off yet.
10:04He's still got the effects a little bit.
10:06They say he'll never be the same.
10:08Right.
10:09Oh, my God.
10:11Look at this terrifying looking.
10:13No.
10:14Let's hire her for chalk.
10:16Yes, Chuck, here's your cuddler.
10:23She looks.
10:25Yeah, it looks exactly like.
10:26I'll have her make you some egg salad.
10:28Look at Chuck when she comes in.
10:30She looks like we're made.
10:31If it just happened, like if I got in a scenario where I couldn't escape it, I couldn't just leave my own home running.
10:42I would be so mad at you.
10:44I'm like, I mean, there wouldn't be, there would be no way.
10:48Like, I'd be like, listen.
10:48We would never get past it.
10:49Our friendship.
10:50You have to know, we can never, we can never even.
10:53I would never do that to you.
10:54One of the ugliest ladies I've ever seen.
10:56I turned around.
10:56I saw the picture.
10:58I jumped a little bit.
10:59Yes.
10:59Yes.
11:00Yeah, that'll shock you.
11:01That's hilarious.
11:03Yeah, I mean, I feel like I've walked around the corner and seen it before.
11:06That is an ugly, ugly lady.
11:09Whoa, hey.
11:10She's like, my facial features aren't the best in the body.
11:13But if you want to cuddle good, I'll just give you some love.
11:17There's dogs like that for sure.
11:18Yeah, that's for sure.
11:19That's what you look like.
11:20You want me to show up in my slack?
11:22Shockingly, she's an accountant.
11:24Oh, yeah.
11:24Of course.
11:25She does this on the side.
11:26Of course.
11:26Oh, my God, Chuck.
11:27Look at her.
11:28She offers overnights.
11:30Is she local?
11:32Overnights.
11:32Is she a local lady?
11:33No, I don't think so.
11:34I don't know.
11:35She's in Dallas.
11:36At least it was really going to hire her for you.
11:38Chuck would love if you cuddled him and made egg salad sandwiches.
11:43I can't think of an experience worse.
11:48If my whole brain thought about it all day, like, what could be worse?
11:52What could be worse?
11:54What could be worse?
11:56That lady showing up and like, I hope you don't mind.
12:00I made some egg salad sandwiches.
12:02She looks like an egg salad lady.
12:03Oh, she eats it.
12:04It's fallen out of her mouth.
12:06She smells like egg salad.
12:08She's got one in a purse.
12:09Oh, God, please.
12:09I don't make it worse.
12:10She's got one pre-made in a purse.
12:12Only eat salads.
12:14Macaroni salad.
12:15Yeah, all of them.
12:16Egg salad.
12:16No.
12:17Yes.
12:17Oh, you're going to show people.
12:20Oh, no.
12:21You have to see her.
12:22You have to see her.
12:23You have to see her.
12:24Once again, she is charging $180 or something like that.
12:29She has knocked it down $20 from the guy who thinks he's a model.
12:33That's so funny.
12:35Go check her out.
12:37X.com slash Dave and Chuck the Freak.
12:39We just posted her picture there.
12:41So you can see this lady we are going to hire to cuddle Chuck and make it make salad.
12:46Somebody took a professional photo and was like, show me that million dollar smile.
12:51There we go.
12:53There it is.
12:54Beautiful.
12:55Oh, you're going to be cuddling all day and night with this.
12:59Yeah.
12:59Let me see them rabbit teeth.
13:01Really?
13:02Ooh, your facial structure.
13:04Nice.
13:04Oh, yeah.
13:05That one's worse.
13:05Look at me.
13:06Look at me.
13:07That's worse.
13:07Listen, I want you to have sex with the camera.
13:09Have sex with the camera.
13:11There you go.
13:12Your hair don't look like the color of a rat's vagina.
13:16Oh, my God.
13:17I noticed you didn't really hit a salon before you showed up.
13:21Yep.
13:22I like it.
13:23Natural.
13:24Your hair kind of looks like the ass hair of a bear.
13:26Oh, God.
13:29X.com slash Dave and Chuck the Freak.
13:31And you can see this lady who is a professional cuddler who we're going to hire.
13:34I'd rather cuddle Greggles.
13:36Yeah.
13:37Really?
13:38You take Greggles?
13:40Greggles is safer than that.
13:42I'm glad you choose me over that scary lady.
13:44Oh, my God.
13:45Thank you, Greggles.
13:46Greggles.
13:46Thank God you're here.
13:50Oh, I'm sorry.
13:51I've already hired Greggles.
13:52Yeah, come on in, bud.
13:53Are you sure?
13:54Are you sure?
13:54Look at him again.
13:55I don't know.
13:55It's close.
13:56Oh, boy.
13:57And if you want to see Greggles, just Google Greggles Cuddler.
14:00I ride my unicycle out of the way here.
14:02Oh, yeah.
14:03Look at that.
14:04You did.
14:06Oh, you're juggling.
14:07Yeah, look at Greggle.
14:08Many talent.
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