- 10 months ago
9-18-23 PTF Orlando
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00All right, it is me every Monday.
00:02We do plead the fifth and we rotate around the room.
00:06Now it's my shot.
00:07So I ain't got to get sworn in.
00:10Truth, told truth, nothing but truth.
00:12Yep, that's me.
00:13All right, so now I get three questions from the room.
00:15Three questions from the audience.
00:17I only get one pass.
00:19Okay.
00:20Who's first?
00:21Me.
00:21Okay.
00:22All right, Orlando.
00:23Yes.
00:24You're a pretty confident guy.
00:26You seem like you know what you're doing.
00:28But everybody has one embarrassing moment that they always think back to.
00:35I want to know about your most embarrassing moment of your life.
00:40My most embarrassing moment of my life?
00:45Yeah.
00:46And it makes you cringe?
00:47Like you wake up in the middle of the night?
00:48When you think about it, it's like, oh, man, why is this coming up in my head?
00:52Probably saying something stupid.
00:53That would be mine.
00:54I mean, I definitely have shot my shot a couple times, and it fell on deaf ears.
01:04That would probably be, like, the most embarrassing.
01:07But, I mean, that's, like, throughout life.
01:08Like, there's just sometimes I've overshot my, like, my capability.
01:12Yeah.
01:13Why not?
01:14Why not try?
01:14But you said that was your most embarrassing?
01:16I'm thinking that was probably, I mean, there was a couple.
01:19It was like, yo, I was like, yeah, I thought I was in.
01:22That didn't happen.
01:25Other than that, I'm trying to think.
01:27Like, most embarrassing?
01:28I mean, well, I will say I had to go to L.A. for, I think it was, like, Scam's anniversary or something.
01:38It was a Scam 10th anniversary, and it was in Vegas.
01:42And I ended up really, really late because I went, I walked all the way across Atlanta's airport and went to my gate and then started, like, listening to music and waiting for them to, like, to call the gate.
01:56And I sat there, and it was empty.
01:59And I looked around, looked up, and I was like, what?
02:01And I was at the wrong gate.
02:03Oh, damn.
02:03I had missed the flight.
02:05And I had to call, like, the label and was like, yo, I'm not going to be there until later.
02:10And they're like, what do you mean?
02:11I'm like, I missed.
02:11They're like, we know you landed.
02:13I'm like, I know.
02:14Oh, damn.
02:15It was probably, like, the biggest brain fart that I, because I was, like, sitting there, and I wasn't paying attention.
02:21And I had food, and I was, like, jamming to music.
02:24And I'm looking around, like, man, when are they going to call the flight?
02:26He just didn't hear that.
02:27And it was probably, like, an hour after the flight had left.
02:30Damn.
02:30And I was just like, oh, my God.
02:31He was like, man, I'm early.
02:32That was, like, the painful, like, that was probably the most embarrassing that it was, like, yeah.
02:38Because I was supposed to be there in Vegas to do something, like, at the beginning of it.
02:44And I totally missed it.
02:45And it was because I was just sitting there as an idiot eating Chick-fil-A or whatever it was.
02:51Oh, my God.
02:52Yeah.
02:52So that was the move.
02:53All right.
02:53What you got?
02:54Okay.
02:55You know, when you've been in past relationships, I think everybody kind of has, like, an aha moment.
03:00Like, man, this isn't going to work because of what they just said or what they just did.
03:05So I was wondering if you had an aha moment.
03:07When did you realize you married the wrong person?
03:11Ooh.
03:12Ooh.
03:13Wait.
03:14What?
03:15Mm-hmm.
03:16Ooh.
03:17Oh.
03:19It happens to everybody.
03:20You look in the mirror at yourself.
03:22You're like, damn.
03:23I feel the button coming.
03:24I mean, yeah.
03:26Okay.
03:26Really?
03:27I mean, I...
03:27Ooh, okay.
03:29Jeez.
03:33I want to tap out, but I don't.
03:36Okay.
03:37So I realized that we were at an impasse a couple of different times.
03:43Okay.
03:44But, like, the first time was probably, like, when we first got together, like, she was working at, like, a real estate spot or whatever.
03:52And then after we got together and we got, like, you know, like, pregnant, then it was like, I'm quitting.
03:59And I was like, wait, what?
04:00Like, you know, because I was just like, you know, these are our jobs.
04:03Like, what do you mean?
04:04And kind of right then, I was like, oh, this is, this is, like, taking on a spin that was, like, a lot different.
04:11It wasn't like a plan.
04:12It wasn't like a, like a evil, devious plan.
04:15But just that move happened so whimsically that I was like, oh, oh, okay.
04:22That's what this is.
04:23So, wow.
04:24So we interpret this differently.
04:26Like, I know I still got to go.
04:28But you're like, no, I've, I'm in it.
04:30I've made it.
04:31I'm good.
04:32I made it.
04:32And I was like, we ain't made it.
04:35I'm like, we so have not.
04:38We have not made it.
04:40We have bills.
04:41It's not, it's not there.
04:42Like, you know, because we, because, you know, we weren't aware of each other's banking situation.
04:47Right.
04:47Like, we didn't have merged banking.
04:48So I'm like, I don't know if you don't know what you're not looking at, but I'm telling you it ain't here.
04:54And then I started realizing just the different perceptions that we had on stuff.
04:58So, you know, then that was.
04:59That was probably the first one.
05:00That was three years later when we got divorced.
05:02But that was like the first inkling.
05:04Then I was like, yeah, this ain't.
05:06This ain't.
05:07You know what I mean?
05:08Right.
05:09It was just, it was, yeah.
05:10Maybe this was a mistake.
05:11No, I mean, I didn't think it was a mistake.
05:13I just thought, wow, we see things very differently.
05:16And that was like the beginning of it.
05:17Okay.
05:18Yeah.
05:18Okay.
05:18Y'all got to give me one more.
05:22Who's got the third?
05:23Good.
05:23You think you got a good one?
05:24No, go ahead.
05:25Okay.
05:27Make it a little bit more lighted.
05:29Who is the most, your favorite person that you have been a co-host with?
05:35All the people that you worked with at Wild.
05:38Who is your favorite person that you've worked with?
05:42This is an easy one.
05:44This is so easy.
05:45You just handed him a platter of his favorite food.
05:47What?
05:48I don't know if it's that easy.
05:50Because I know what you're going to say.
05:52Why?
05:52Who do you think I'm going to say?
05:53No, I'm going to go ahead and prove it.
05:56Go ahead and answer.
05:58My favorite person out of all?
06:01It starts with a D.
06:01Out of everybody that you worked with.
06:02It starts with a D.
06:03It starts with a D.
06:04You think it's Davi?
06:05Yeah, of course.
06:08Why?
06:08I know you're not new here.
06:11You might be new on the Freak Show.
06:13No, I mean, out of all of the people that I worked with on the Freak Show.
06:19And it's been, you know, different.
06:21It's been like a TV show.
06:22It's been a cast of characters or whatever.
06:24Honestly.
06:28The one person.
06:31Now he doesn't want to say it.
06:32There's one person.
06:33Huh?
06:33Now you don't want to say Davi.
06:34No, because I'm trying to think why she thought it was going to be Davi.
06:38But I'm like, because I've had, everybody's had their piece of this whole menudo that we got.
06:42Sure.
06:43But honestly, it was Paco.
06:46Paco was just, Paco just made me laugh on a lot of, like,
06:51we did a citizenship test with him one day and had, like, the fireworks attached to him.
06:57And everyone he missed, we had to put a strand of firecrackers around him.
07:02Stop it.
07:02Because we was going to light them all at the same time.
07:04Oh, my God.
07:04And he was trying and was missing these questions.
07:09And it just so happened Mike Epps was coming for the improv.
07:13Right.
07:13And he was outside.
07:14And we put him on the phone.
07:15Mike Epps was like, y'all about to burn up this Mexican.
07:17And it was just, he would allow us to do certain stuff.
07:20It just always made me laugh.
07:22Like, genuinely made me laugh.
07:24Yeah.
07:25I mean, Paco was definitely, like, he was lazy as hell.
07:29But he was hilarious.
07:31That's awesome.
07:31Okay.
07:31That was probably my favorite one out of everybody.
07:34I'm going to get a text later.
07:35Yeah.
07:35All right.
07:36So, what do you mean?
07:37Because I'm going to find out that you didn't pick him as his favorite.
07:41He's going to be like, what the hell is this?
07:42If Orlando had to pick between Babs or Meredith to have the next child with, who would you pick and why?
07:50A baby?
07:51Oh, you want to try for a boy, Orlando?
07:55And it's between Meredith and Babs?
07:57Meredith and Babs.
08:00Damn.
08:01You've got to make the pick and why.
08:05I mean.
08:10This is from the people.
08:11Not from me.
08:11Don't get mad at me.
08:12I mean, because there's a different thing.
08:13Like, Babs would definitely, like, she doesn't have any kids.
08:19So, my kid would get a lot of attention.
08:21Oh, all day.
08:21You know, Meredith, my kid, is one of a tribe.
08:24Yeah, there's two.
08:24You know, he's going to get a lot of attention, you know.
08:26But, Meredith is, like, already a mom.
08:29Yeah, she's a mom.
08:29So, she's already kind of vested.
08:31You know, Babs might mess around and leave the baby floating in the bathtub.
08:35You know, I don't know.
08:38I don't know if she's good with kids like that.
08:41But, um, so, I mean, I guess I would say Meredith, because at least, at least she's, like, you know.
08:46My kids are still there.
08:48You know, like, your kids are still reading.
08:49So, I mean, I guess I would go with Meredith.
08:52Okay.
08:52She's tested.
08:53All right.
08:54What else?
08:55Out of the 646, when was the last time you watched porn, Orlando?
09:00And what was the scenario that got you all hot and bothered?
09:03Please tell me it was this weekend.
09:07I'm going to walk out the room for this.
09:10It was.
09:13Someone said, do Meredith for the credit score.
09:17For real.
09:18Yeah, that's another part, too.
09:20Let's see.
09:21This weekend.
09:23It was this weekend.
09:24It was Sunday.
09:28Are you a morning person?
09:29You're bored in the afternoon?
09:31It was Sunday morning.
09:32Okay.
09:33All right.
09:33It was Sunday morning.
09:35He was looking at his fantasy football team.
09:37No.
09:39It was Sunday morning.
09:41And the scene was, they got this, like, thing on P-Hub that they have, like, it's like a casting couch.
09:50And it's like girls come in to be in a music video of a star that they don't say on the thing.
09:57But they're like, okay, so you know this is for, and they blank it out.
10:00And they say, this is for so-and-so's video.
10:02And they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
10:03He's like, so, you know, you take care of me.
10:05I'll hook you up.
10:07Get you a video.
10:08And honestly, it's just, yeah, it's pretty entertaining.
10:13The casting couch.
10:14I did not expect that.
10:15Yeah, it's the casting couch.
10:16It's always this white leather couch.
10:17And it's like, I mean, they got the best camera angles ever.
10:21Like, it's crazy.
10:22It's like, yo, like, they be like, look at the camera.
10:24And you're like, look at, she's looking dead at the camera.
10:26And he had her doing business.
10:28And it's like, you know, see it all in her face.
10:30It's crazy.
10:31I don't know if everybody ever seen it, but it's damn entertaining to me.
10:34So, yeah, I did see that Sunday morning.
10:36Okay, nice, nice.
10:37You got to get another one?
10:38I do.
10:39I have one here.
10:40Orlando, have you ever slept or been with one of your ex's friends?
10:47May not have to be a close friend.
10:54He's looking around the room.
10:55The revenge door.
10:57No.
10:59Let's not.
11:00Friends, family members, somebody.
11:03Family, family.
11:04No, no.
11:05I haven't.
11:06Not, no.
11:08Okay, you're not being very, like, you don't sound like.
11:13No, because I was like, no, no.
11:16I mean, no.
11:17Like, friends and not close friends.
11:21And I honestly don't think that.
11:23That's why I was trying to think, like, if anybody had connections or whatever else.
11:26No, there ain't been anybody who was, like, you know, down.
11:29Friends.
11:29Like that.
11:30Of that.
11:30Okay.
11:31Ilk.
11:32Thought about it.
11:32Yeah.
11:35But I ain't, you know.
11:36Hey, I'm not that messy.
11:37Okay.
11:39Well, that's not true.
11:40I'm not.
11:41I'm not that messy.
11:42All right, so.
11:43What'd you go, boomerang?
11:44Yeah.
11:44Oh, so I get a boomerang back.
11:47Let's see here.
11:48I probably want to ask.
11:50Okay.
11:52When was the last time you watched The Pern?
11:56Okay.
11:57And what was the scene?
12:00All right.
12:00I wanted to this weekend.
12:02When was the last time?
12:02I wanted to this weekend, but I had no time because these children.
12:08Like, I can't on the weekends.
12:10That's what sucks.
12:10So if I'm going to, it's definitely.
12:11When was the last time, man?
12:12You're giving us a whole bunch of fluff.
12:14Probably.
12:14When was the last time?
12:15And what was the specific scene, Meredith?
12:17Thursday.
12:18Thursday.
12:19And it was.
12:22Let's see here.
12:22I was going around a couple videos, but I started with a girl on girl.
12:27And then I went to a massage.
12:30Girl on girl.
12:31Wait, the massage with the girl on girl?
12:33Yeah.
12:33Well, no, you don't like the massage?
12:35I like the massage ones, but not the ones that's girl on girl.
12:38Okay, yeah.
12:39It kind of gets boring.
12:40Well, I like them.
12:41And anyway, that did the job.
12:43Okay.
12:44All right.
12:45Okay, so.
12:46This is going to be a little weird, but on my IG, the fan bus comes up on my feed a lot.
12:54Oh, my God.
12:55And there was one.
12:56Do you know who the alien is?
12:59What?
12:59Oh, yeah.
13:00It's this little Middle Eastern guy.
13:05And he's a little guy.
13:07He's got a form of dwarfism.
13:09Yeah.
13:09And this little guy was a virgin, and they put him on the fan bus.
13:15I am so good.
13:16The fan bus is a porn bus.
13:17Yeah, it's a bus.
13:18If you've never heard of it, it's the way the porn stars go in, and they do scenes in
13:21the bus.
13:21So, if someone's driving while they have sex?
13:23No, they park it.
13:24They park it.
13:25They park it.
13:26But the whole thing about the fan bus is they try to make it so that they're driving around,
13:31and then they pick somebody random to be in a porn with a bunch of porn stars.
13:34Okay, all right.
13:35You've never seen it?
13:36No.
13:37Very entertaining.
13:37So, they had the alien on there, and he was a virgin.
13:41And they had a porn star on the bus.
13:45Random.
13:46Take his V card.
13:48And you watched that?
13:50And, like, it came up on my news feed so much, and I just was curious to see.
13:57Why do they call him the alien?
13:59Because he's got a form of dwarfism.
14:01Oh, that's not nice.
14:02Not just that.
14:03I mean, but he looks.
14:05Interesting.
14:05Like, he got a pretty exotic alien look.
14:07So, you were turned on by IG.
14:10So, you were turned on by the fan bus with the alien.
14:11No, no, no.
14:12That was the question.
14:13No, no, no, no.
14:14I wasn't turned on.
14:15The girl was what turned me on.
14:18Right.
14:18But I definitely watched it.
14:20Say it however you want it.
14:20I definitely watched it.
14:21We all walking away from this saying you got your rocks off to the alien.
14:25No, no, no.
14:26I watched it because I wanted to see if Homeboy, for his first time, did a good job.
14:31Did he do a good job?
14:32He did an all right job.
14:33So, you watched the porn for him?
14:33It was all the girl, though.
14:35It was all the girl, though.
14:35So, you watched it for him, not for the girl.
14:37No, I watched it for her because she's so bad.
14:39But I'm going to admit, I watched it to see if my man, you know, did his thing.
14:43Someone said, yo, that video was disgusting.
14:48Wait, so they saw it, too.
14:51I have mine closed because I can't see y'all messages.
14:53Did the alien cry?
14:55Because someone said that the alien cried at the end of the day.
14:56He did.
14:57He cried at the end of it because he lost his V-card.
15:02He lost his opportunity.
15:03And he didn't think that it would happen, one.
15:06But, two, it happened with this porn star.
15:08Was it quick?
15:12I don't know if that's why he was crying, though.
15:15That's a wrap.
15:16We have knocked it out.
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