Dave & Chuck the Freak read an e-mail from a listener who shares her experience of being married to an accountant and how not getting an order of green beans was the beginning of the end of their marriage.
00:00one more here to get to um this is greetings from japan
00:12she says since my husband and i are no longer local we listen to your podcast every day it's
00:18a bit of normalcy for us since we've arrived here several months ago anyway you guys were
00:23talking a few days ago about uh you know careers that were undateable and i had to share my past
00:30experience being married to an accountant now she says i have to start by saying i'm not a high
00:40maintenance gal when i was married i was working at a saturn dealership doing my apprenticeship going
00:45to school at night for my associates in automotive and waiting tables on the weekend i didn't think
00:50much of being married as i was content where the relationship was but i was 30 and he proposed
00:54with a giant rock over two carats every week he bought me flowers just to be sweet so it never
00:59dawned on me how cheap he actually was however i was duped once i said yes things changed immediately
01:08gotcha the red flag was this it was my birthday i had a long week we decided to not do anything big
01:14so we ordered some barbecue we're gonna watch a movie i told him i wanted catfish strips corn and
01:19green beans so he went to call in the order same thing i always get but mind you i always paid
01:26as i was in the shower he comes in on the phone with the restaurant and said hey you can't have
01:31green beans so your choices are corn baked beans or fries my reaction still in the shower was what i
01:37always get green beans why not and he said oh green beans are a dollar 99 extra it doesn't come with
01:42your meal so you got to pick one of the other things no just pay the dollar 99 right it was her
01:48birthday she said i was floored i was speechless it was my birthday i don't make a big deal about them
01:53but what the f dude i'm sorry i'm not doing it i'm not gonna splurge she wants green beans
02:03yeah that's what she wants that's all i want lisa it's really weird it's weird that um it's not cheap
02:10maybe you just open up a can of green beans i don't understand like the extra charge for green
02:15beans like what kind of crazy restaurant that's the weirdest restaurant of all time i hope they're
02:21fresh a dollar 99 i mean there's no there's no world where like green beans are better than right
02:27green beans are an upcharge fries fries or their mashed potatoes must be seven bucks
02:34maybe they're incredible i don't know maybe they do something special with them that's fine that's
02:39what she wanted that's what she wanted she said i was denied so i went with the fries it was the
02:44beginning of the end during our marriage therapy the therapist told them to take me to a restaurant
02:49where i don't have to look at the menu best advice ever ever please advise your listeners never marry
02:56an accountant the stereotype is real did they go into therapy and sit there and say he wouldn't give
03:04me a dollar 99 yes i think so 99 if she got green beans every single time
03:08he has one of those calculators at all time with the paper attached you know say you order green
03:25beans every week for five weeks the compound interest yeah oh yeah 30 years later yeah he'd break down
03:35like what it could have been what they could have bought instead of green beans yeah exactly if you
03:41would have just opted for one of the other choices we could have got a car and look at this in 2037
03:50we would have had enough money by 2037 to afford one of those saturns that you're working
03:56i'm just gonna crunch these numbers real quick so she says you're always crunching numbers again
04:10you're an accountant i mean i'm sure not every carrot ring that's pretty yeah yeah well he probably broke
04:15it down he probably paid for it for 35 years let me just do the math on this ring two carrots divided by
04:21she didn't get green beans but she got two yeah yeah yeah i don't know that's pretty good to me
04:29she was just looking at it wrong yeah their marriage ended for dollar 99 green beans though
04:34that was the beginning of the end that's how easy it is now to just be done he's like i'm trying to save us some money on green beans and i'm here in counseling right now
04:41i'm in counseling yeah he was like i can't wait to get divorced because i've tried to be a responsible
04:47person i can't wait to get rid of this bitch she wanted her birthday meal at the weirdest restaurant
04:52of all time the place charges a dollar 99 for green beans something no one wants
05:01like i'm doing you a favor getting rid of some of those green beans you're just gonna throw away
05:05anyway she says thank you guys for all the laughs and for bringing some english into our daily lives
05:13we appreciate you all so much she probably gained weight too after all the fries
05:17mr math time you know what i crunched the numbers on your weight
05:26and it's not looking good 14 fries
05:33per year you have gained four pounds a week
05:38just to let you know i mean i don't think you're fat yet sort of but
05:43let me crunch the numbers on what fat is
05:46when we got together and i bought you the two carrots you were 115 pounds it's been three
05:54years and i'm just gonna guess here you're 148 pounds if we multiply that by the number of years
06:07we could be together oh god it doesn't look good it doesn't look good someone said the dude is a
06:15literal bean counter yeah he's a green bean counter yep yep oh what a weird way to end a marriage
06:22dollar 99 green beans glad you're happy now yeah so she's with a new guy they're good they're in japan
06:28yep with a new guy and he dragged her to japan yeah or she dragged him i don't know
06:36could be her job we'll see you never know but we wish you luck with this guy and hopefully he springs
06:41for the green beans yeah if you're ever in that situation again
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