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  • 15 hours ago
SINGLE mom of two, Adriene, was born with a rare condition called complete bilateral cryptophthalmos which meant her eyes "stopped developing" in the womb. She has been blind her entire life - but that has never held Adriene back, as she told Truly: "I'm the type of person that figures my own stuff out, I try every possibility before going for help. Where there's a will, I'm sure there's a way." So when Adriene fell pregnant for the first time at the age of 19, she took it all in her stride - she adapted to find ways of teaching her eldest daughter Adrianna to thrive. By the time Adriene gave birth to her second daughter, Trinity, she knew all the audio cues necessary to care for her girls: "I knew their cries - the hunger cries, the bored cries, the 'I don't feel good' cries. It was easy for me." Now that her daughters have reached adulthood, they do help out here and there, but when Adriene began posting on TikTok to raise awareness around her condition, she began to receive "very judgemental" comments from strangers online. Some have assumed that her daughters "do everything" for her or that they take care of her - and nothing could be further from the truth. As Trinity explained: "My mother can do everything I can do. When we were younger, she did everything herself." And whilst Trinity says her mom "doesn't care what people say," Adriene does have a message for anyone who might make assumptions about blind moms like her: "How about you open the book before you start judging by the cover. Read the chapters, you might like what you find."

Follow Adriene:
https://www.tiktok.com/@ap03081985
Transcript
00:00I'm a single blind mom of two girls. People have been mean. They're very
00:04judgmental. Do your kids do everything for you? Do you need a caregiver? My
00:09mother can do everything that I can do. She can clean up. She can cook. When you
00:13are a blind parent naturally you know that the stigma is on us. If anything
00:18happens to our kid everybody's making a big deal out of it. Oh well she doesn't
00:21know how to take care of her kids. You mentioned that someone called CPS on you. Do you want to tell us about that?
00:27My name is Adrian. I was born with a condition called complete bilateral
00:33cryptophthalmos. Everything up here stopped developing like the eyeballs,
00:38eyelashes, eyebrows, none of that. I'm one out of two million so it's very rare.
00:44Are there any particular tasks that are difficult for you to do in the kitchen?
00:48I don't like to fry on an open stove so I have an air fryer right here. It's safer.
00:53You don't have grease flying everywhere. Describe to us what it's like to have a
00:57blind mom. It's really no different. It's just like some things like she'll need
01:02more help than usual but like usually when we were younger she did everything
01:06herself. I've been a single parent by myself. I'm the type of person that I
01:11figure my own stuff out or I try every possibility before you know going for help.
01:17Where there's a will, I'm sure there's a way. When you guys were younger, did you make all the food? Did you help her out?
01:24So when I was five, I asked to learn how to cook so from there she taught me how to cook different stuff.
01:33Basic stuff. She's like, can I help you in the kitchen? I was like, well I really don't want you nowhere near a stove but as long as I'm in the kitchen, yeah I guess you can help.
01:42My mother can do everything that I can do. She can't drive, she can clean up, she can cook, she can do things like that.
01:48I can't really compare her to anything else because she is the only mother I've had.
01:53At 19 years old, you felt pregnant. Tell us about that and how you felt.
01:57I came home for Christmas to visit my mother. She was just screaming and she's like, what are you gonna do with the baby?
02:02I said, I'm gonna raise it. Like what do you mean? My dad wasn't too happy. He was like, well you can't see to do this and this and that.
02:09When I had the baby, my middle brother, he asked me the question, why don't you let mama raise the baby?
02:14I said, why don't you just leave? I carried this child for nine months and you mean to ask me?
02:21Why don't I let mama keep the baby and raise it? I was just like, dude, please get out of my face.
02:26Eventually, you know, people kind of just took it as it is what it is.
02:30My mom, God rest her soul, she helped out a lot, but sometimes I had to tell her to back off.
02:35I'm like, you can't, you can't take over my job. I'm sorry, that's not just gonna work.
02:40And she understood that we've gotten into it, but she understood, hey, I need to do this for myself.
02:45And then after your daughter arrived, for like those first couple years, was it difficult?
02:50Um, it wasn't difficult. I know how to change, baby. I mean, yeah, parents get pooped on and peed on.
02:55And she did, especially for blind parents who people underestimate a lot.
03:00Like society just doesn't give us that credit that we deserve.
03:03She was saying sentences by the time she was 16, 17 months old.
03:07She was putting on her shoes on the right feet by the time she was 15 months,
03:10because I was teaching her that stuff early.
03:12Just kind of had to go for it and trial and error will happen when it comes to your kid.
03:16You just got to decide which way are you going to, you know, do this to make it work.
03:21So that's what I did.
03:22Do you feel as if you missed out on anything with your daughters growing up?
03:27Just being able to see what they look like.
03:29I mean, it's not really a big thing to me because I pay attention to audio cues.
03:33You know, I knew their cries, the hungry cries, the bored cries, the I don't feel good cry.
03:39Or I'm just fighting my sleep, but sleepy cry. It was easy for me.
03:43As children, was it, like, difficult growing up with your mom?
03:46It was really a struggle, actually. Like, sometimes people stare or give, like, weird looks.
03:52If you're curious, that's fine. But being, like, dirty looks and stuff, yeah.
03:56We try to stop that.
03:58When you are a blind parent, naturally, you know we're a part of a minority.
04:02You know that the stigma is on us.
04:05This world is not nice.
04:07Even though I can't see, I do know what it's like because people have been mean.
04:11They're very judgmental.
04:13As blind parents, we have to be more protective than the sighted parents
04:17because if we get any calls or if anything happens to our kid,
04:20everybody's making a big deal out of it.
04:21Oh, well, she doesn't know how to take care of her kid.
04:23Let's call CPS.
04:24Or, you know, make a hotline call.
04:26You mentioned that someone called CPS on you.
04:29Do you want to tell us about that, or?
04:31It's just nosy neighbors.
04:32It's just people who are uneducated decide that they want to call.
04:36And my kids have never been taken away because I'm doing what I'm supposed to do.
04:40I told them, if you can raise my kids better, go ahead.
04:45They left.
04:47I still got my children.
04:52What's up, y'all?
04:53This is your girl, Sapphire.
04:55So, I need to do my facial care.
04:58When and why did you decide to start posting some videos online about your parents?
05:03My main purpose was to raise awareness about my eye condition
05:06because I don't know anyone that has it.
05:09First of all, thank all of y'all.
05:11Y'all are helping and causing doors to open for me that I never thought possible.
05:17You know, why not put my story out there?
05:19Maybe one day I'll come across somebody who's like me.
05:21Keep rocking with me.
05:22Keep helping me grow up.
05:23I love y'all.
05:24But you better have thick skin when you do this social media thing because if you don't, honey, they will break you.
05:29Do your kids do everything for you?
05:32Do you need a caregiver?
05:34That's not safe.
05:35You shouldn't be walking around your house like that.
05:38Do you live with someone?
05:40What?
05:41People kind of get the wrong idea.
05:43Oh, I bet your kids take care of you.
05:45Huh?
05:46Take care of who?
05:47No.
05:48You got that wrong.
05:49Who took care of them then?
05:50There are people who know my capability, who know my ability.
05:55And then there's the people who just assume.
05:57Maybe from an outside perspective, it kind of seems like that because I help my mom.
06:02But like it don't be like we take care of her.
06:04We don't do that.
06:05I don't have to like walk her places.
06:07I don't have to take her places.
06:08She can go by herself.
06:10How do you guys feel when you hear or like see that judgment that your mom received?
06:15I obviously say something because that's my mother and I'm always on her side.
06:18But like she takes her like she doesn't even care.
06:21Like she doesn't care what people say.
06:23I know you have eyes and I can't see.
06:26I just can't prove it.
06:27Actually somebody left that in my inbox.
06:29Tell me something.
06:30I know she can see but I just can't prove it.
06:32I don't have a pic.
06:33I literally cursed them out.
06:34Literally.
06:35I said I am not in the mood.
06:36Get off my page with that mess.
06:38Yeah.
06:39This one says how do you know she was cute if she couldn't see her?
06:43Huh?
06:44I have nothing to say to it honestly because I mean clearly she ain't.
06:49She hasn't seen us before.
06:51They're my babies.
06:52I mean I.
06:53They gonna be cute regardless.
06:55Also there's an app that describes baby pictures.
06:58And things that it describes them.
07:01Sometimes I do clock back at them.
07:03And I just be like y'all need to go research.
07:07Stop assuming.
07:09Go educate yourselves.
07:12How about you open the book before you start judging by the cover?
07:15Read the chapters.
07:16You might like what you find.
07:18If you had a message to anybody who has misjudged you and your family.
07:22What would that message be?
07:23Honestly like we're like any other family.
07:27We're no different.
07:28We have the same issues as you.
07:30I feel like having a visually impaired parent is really like taught me a lot of stuff.
07:34Obviously I really love you.
07:37I love you too mom.
07:39She know that.
07:40I just want people to know with any disability.
07:43It's not about the difference.
07:45It's about how you're making that difference work.
07:48You just have to live the best way you know how.
07:51And life is only what you make it.
07:53No matter what the challenges is.
07:54Don't give up.
07:55Because guess what.
07:56If I can do it.
07:57And others like me can do it.
07:59Y'all can do it.
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