- 1 year ago
Therapy Thursday: Watching Porn With Your Significant Other and Having A Side Piece And A Happy Family
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00:00Therapy Thursday now on Wild 94.1. I understand therapy. Hi everybody! Hi Dr. Nick! It's Therapy Thursday. We got your docs and your clipboards and lab coats in here ready to hear your problems. We are here for you. It's our community service because you got a little trouble back in the day. So we figured we would serve the people and help you out with any of your problems or queries. 888-429-0941 is how you can hit us.
00:27If you want to holler at us, you can. If you're worried about somebody recognizing your voice, then you can just text in. Let's see what we got.
00:34I have one for you, O. What you got?
00:35It says, I started the biggest fight in my house. My girl takes 30 plus minute showers, so I called her out on it because she doesn't pay the bill and maybe wasn't aware of the time.
00:47She's saying I am treating her like a child, but shouldn't I be able to address things like this or should I just let it go?
00:54Okay, first of all, if it's your girl and y'all sharing water bills and stuff like that, it's a partnership.
01:02So it's not a dictatorship. She's not paying the bill, but it is your girl. It's the same way you're going to be like, baby, go ahead and order you another wine because we got it.
01:13Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, you're going to do the things that you want to do as a jester. She'd like to take water, you know?
01:19I mean, so allow her that luxury. If it makes her comfortable, you want her to be comfortable.
01:24Now, you don't want her to be excessive, so maybe if you show her the numbers and say, hey, look how much we're spending.
01:30Like, maybe one time you can't go to the restaurant she wants to go to.
01:32You're like, well, because I had to pay a little bit extra. Let me show you what the regular bill is.
01:36This is the bill where we've been doing it. And she's like, oh, man, it ain't worth it like that.
01:40So you bring her into the process, and that's only if she's really the girl.
01:44If she ain't the girl, if she's just a girl.
01:47Kick her out.
01:48Yeah, you know what I'm saying? You know what I mean? You can fix this a lot quicker.
01:51You know, so if she's the one, bring her into the circle and let her know why you're making those decisions.
01:56What are we talking about here? Like $20 a month?
01:58I mean, if somebody's looking at their budget, we are not going to clown somebody for having a budget.
02:02When earlier this morning, people are having things reposed.
02:06That's right. I forgot about that.
02:07So we're going to appreciate a budget all day.
02:10All right, let's see here. What we got? 888-429-0941.
02:14I got one for Meredith and one for Dobby. Who's up next?
02:17Go ahead, Meredith.
02:18Meredith, this question says, I lost my baby daddy in July, and I miss him.
02:24He was my heart.
02:25And so that goes without saying, but I'm feeling somebody else.
02:33Is it embarrassingly too soon for me to be thinking about that since July?
02:39Mind you, I don't want to look badly in front of my children.
02:43Well, people are going to judge it either way, but I feel like everybody deserves happiness.
02:48And it's okay to want somebody to hold on to you at the end of the day.
02:51I mean, life is difficult right now, and I feel like a lot of couples are leaning on one another.
02:57And, you know, give yourself a little bit of time.
02:59It sounds like you have, but it's okay to start dating eventually.
03:03People are going to talk about it.
03:04People are going to have stuff to say.
03:06It depends on how long they've been together.
03:08If they were together for 10 years.
03:10You know, baby daddy, y'all got kids together?
03:12Like, at least more than me for a minute.
03:13I mean, can I get more?
03:14Dobby, how long are you 100 more than you?
03:16A year and a half.
03:18There we go.
03:19There you go.
03:19So, that's perfect right now.
03:21Yeah, but, I mean, I get it.
03:23It's hard to go through dealing with a loss, and then you have a family you still have to take care of.
03:28And as long as, you know, this person's not going to take advantage of you, and it's just not a quick thing,
03:33and you really could see yourself with somebody, I mean, take it slow.
03:36But it's okay to want to be back in a relationship and want love and someone to be with on a daily basis.
03:44That's a normal human feeling, and you're going to feel bad about it, but it's natural.
03:50Okay.
03:51Eventually, she's going to move on.
03:52That is your doctor's prognosis from Meredith, MD.
03:55I feel for her.
03:56Now, Dobby and I are just random people you might bump into in the parking lot outside the doctor's office,
04:01and we're going to tell you that it is bad mojo if you less than a year and a half.
04:06I say two years.
04:07What are you talking about?
04:07Mourn me for two years.
04:09You go hook up with somebody less than two years, I'm haunting you.
04:13I'm coming back, and it's going to be a nasty situation.
04:16Wouldn't you want that person to be happy?
04:18I want you to be happy.
04:19Right.
04:20After you mourn me properly.
04:21Okay.
04:22Because the people who loved me, who are watching you mourn, are going to be like,
04:26you know what?
04:27I'm slashing her tires because she did all wrong.
04:29She out here up under somebody six months later.
04:31That's two years of your life you can't get back.
04:33She said July.
04:34I know.
04:34I know what it is.
04:35It's February.
04:35I get it.
04:36She can start thinking about it.
04:38I can't even get a year?
04:38Can she get a hug?
04:40I mean, can she have a little bit?
04:41What's my son going to say?
04:43Well, maybe she's, I mean, obviously, I hope they don't introduce each other.
04:47Oh, well, y'all, whatever happens in the dark will come to their life.
04:52In here working in lab coats with clipboards.
04:54It is your freak show.
04:56It is Therapy Thursday.
04:58We're trying to help the peoples.
04:59All you got to do is listen to your queries.
05:02888-429-0941.
05:04We give you some advice.
05:05And it's meant good hearted.
05:07Like, we might try and get a little ha-ha.
05:09But, I mean, we trying to help y'all out.
05:11For real.
05:11Doing our best.
05:12We know.
05:13What we got?
05:13I have one for you.
05:14Oh, good morning.
05:16Oh, my sister thinks my niece is exploiting herself if she teaches pole dancing to reestablish
05:23her financial status since she lost money last year from her fitness classes due to the pandemic.
05:29My sis doesn't understand.
05:31My sis is so old fashioned.
05:33But what do you think?
05:34She thinks she's playing herself because she's teaching a class?
05:38Right.
05:38Trying to make some extra money.
05:40But it's pole dancing.
05:41Okay.
05:41All right.
05:42Fitness classes.
05:42It's fitness.
05:43First of all, if she's not stripping and taking off her clothes, it's not the same thing.
05:47However, there are some flary ways that you can make it a little thottish.
05:52So, you got to make sure you stay on this side of that line.
05:55Like, don't go out there and make it too busted open.
05:58But do realize there's an upside to this because ladies are using it for fitness.
06:02Soccer moms and the winos out there who got their wine.
06:06They like going out to do it with the heels on.
06:08Meredith, one of them.
06:09I used to do it.
06:10Exactly.
06:11It's a lot of fun.
06:11And so, there's some money there.
06:13And if you bring some fun, some creativity to it and everything else, you might be able to come up.
06:18And then you come out of this pandemic with a better hustle than you had.
06:22That means the hustle was in you.
06:23So, that's a success.
06:24You can educate your family about it because, honestly, I used to think pole dancing was just a way for people to learn how to strip
06:30until I realized that there were some ladies out there who actually had some careers that were doing it for some fitness and stuff.
06:35So, you know, definitely don't hold her back from doing it if it's going to help her make ends meet.
06:41And she ain't got to take clothes off.
06:43I mean, pole dancing is trying to be pushed into the Olympics just to let you know.
06:46Yeah, that's not going to happen.
06:47I'm just, like, saying.
06:48That's not going to happen.
06:49Not that I support it.
06:50First of all, if it does happen, everybody that work at Mons and at Penthouse and a couple other spots around here are going to mess around and make the Olympics.
06:58Can you imagine if we saw them on the Olympics with, like, the swimmers and everything?
07:01I know that.
07:01That's Delilah.
07:02I know her.
07:02I know that.
07:03Delilah.
07:04I'm a gold medalist.
07:05Damn it.
07:06Her price just went up.
07:08My dance is going to be $900 for 30 minutes.
07:11I'm like, no, we don't want that.
07:13All right, Davi, you're next up.
07:14D-Melo.
07:15It says, Dr. Davi, I got a quick question for you.
07:18If home is 100% straight, everybody's taken care of.
07:22My kids, my girl, and everybody is happy with everything, why, hypothetically, can't I have a side?
07:33A side chick?
07:34Oh, my God.
07:35It said a side.
07:36Well, it said a side, so I'm...
07:38Okay, so you started this by saying everything at home is okay.
07:43Right.
07:44Why can't I have a side?
07:45Because if you have a side, everything at home won't be okay.
07:49At all.
07:49It's simple as that.
07:51You have kids, you have a lady, and your side piece is how all of that crumbles, how all of that goes away.
07:59And for stability, for your marriage or your relationship purposes, that's why you can't have a side piece.
08:08But if you are going to have one, that'd probably be the best one to have if everybody's happy.
08:12If you're doing everything great.
08:14Excuse me?
08:14Well, they're happy because you're doing everything great.
08:16Right.
08:16So you keep everything great?
08:18No, once you start slipping and slacking, then that's when your home life just becomes not so great.
08:24We're going to find out.
08:25And, Mr. Whoever wrote this, you knew the answer to this before you wrote it.
08:31You just wanted some kind of validation.
08:34Yeah, exactly.
08:34You being tested, Donnie.
08:36Yeah, I was testing your morals.
08:37I wanted to see what you was going to say.
08:39You have your fantasy lifestyle in your head, not in real life.
08:42Wow.
08:42So somebody's driving around with a perfect, happy life at home with kids, you know, 2.5
08:48kids, a dog, a happy wife.
08:51You know, everybody's like, she's like, I'm making me move tonight.
08:54And he's like, I need me a side.
08:56Oh, yeah.
08:57Ready to blow up your spot.
08:58That's how you lose your house.
09:002.5 kids turns into one and a quarter.
09:03Sharing custody.
09:05Yeah, I got them on Wednesdays.
09:07Hey, oh, I got one for you.
09:08All right, what we got?
09:09I have a question.
09:10Should your boyfriend be watching porn and looking at half-naked women every single day?
09:15Should I feel like this is disrespectful because that's how it feels?
09:19Or is it just the way we live now?
09:21I mean, I will tell you, with technology, it is the way we live now.
09:25But morality still has a place in there.
09:27I think everybody should have their own time.
09:29If you have a person who you love and trust and they want to go and they want to read comic books for 30 minutes a day or an hour a day, that's their escape, I don't understand it.
09:40I ain't got any pleasure out of it.
09:42But they might be living for it because that's something they love.
09:45Let them have that time.
09:46That ain't got to be our time.
09:47It's your time.
09:48And if my time happens to be looking at Carly Fox out of Philly, you bust it wide, then I should be able to do that because it's my time.
09:59It's hard to equate those two things.
10:01It's not.
10:02It's something you're not into.
10:03Don't look at the content.
10:05Whatever I'm doing over here for 30 minutes, my spouse is not interested in.
10:09So I get to do that.
10:10And whatever I'm interested in that you're not interested in, I mean, as long as I'm not over here depleting anything that's going to keep me from taking care of you.
10:17But there you go.
10:18But you kind of are, though.
10:19But it's not, though.
10:19But you are.
10:20You're really not.
10:21You really are.
10:22I mean, if I'm over here trying out for the Yankees every single day, every time I'm doing it, then that's wrong.
10:29But if I'm watching it because I enjoy it and I'm getting inspiration and I'm getting my spark plug.
10:32My mom always told my dad, you can work up your appetite wherever you are as long as you eat at home.
10:39And so that's the thing.
10:40If I get charged up by watching this and then I come over here and lay down the business, benefit off that.
10:45You're enjoying the business by yourself.
10:47No, that's what I'm saying.
10:50A lot of people watch porn to enjoy it and other people watch porn to get to a certain space.
10:55Yes.
10:55If you're trying to go over there and get to it every time you watch it, then you're undermining your girl.
10:59If you're getting charged up and a battery in your back and you get going and she gets the benefit, get let daddy pregame wherever he pregame.
11:07Just come over here and do the touchdown dance with mama.
11:09I would say don't make it a hobby.
11:12That's just my thing.
11:13That's what people hobby is for.
11:16All right, let's see.
11:17What we got?
11:18Meredith, please, please, please help me.
11:20Me and my girlfriend of four years have lived together for five.
11:24I have a daughter with her and after about a year when she was born, we split immediately.
11:29She left with someone else for a year.
11:31I was torn.
11:32It didn't work out and we started talking again.
11:34I took her in when she was pregnant.
11:36I accepted it.
11:37It hurt so much at first, but I love that little girl like she's 100% mine.
11:42It turns out that she doesn't feel the same about me anymore and I don't even understand why.
11:48If everything I've done for her and she says she's over me, what do I do?
11:53What should I do?
11:53Please help me.
11:54And he took her in with her child as his.
11:57Yeah.
11:58Wow.
11:58You can't let people walk all over you.
12:02People do make mistakes and obviously that's, you know, you don't want to be taken advantage of.
12:05Obviously, you're a really nice person and you tried your hardest, but it's time to move on.
12:10You did everything you possibly can.
12:12And by the way, you don't want people being like looking at you like, really?
12:16You're a sucker?
12:16You need to be there continuously.
12:18You need to move on.
12:19You need to find somebody that's out there for you that can actually provide love and commitment for you.
12:25I mean, if you still want to be there for the kid, I think that's really cool.
12:29Obviously, it doesn't have a father figure that's stable in their life.
12:32So if you want to continue that relationship, make sure that's cool with the mom, you know, like a presence for birthday or a card or something like that.
12:39I think that that's really big, especially if you've ever grown up without a parent there or a father or a mother, that could be really helpful and beneficial in the future.
12:46Other than that, go find you somebody that is a respectful, loving, caring partner, not somebody that's going to treat you like you're a piece of trash.
12:54There you go.
12:55Meredith gave you the business right there, buddy.
12:57Just to let you know.
12:59That's just how it is.
13:00A short-term settle is a long-term...
13:03And that's from the mayor home.
13:09Just to let you know.
13:10Exclamation point on that.
13:12All right, let's see.
13:12We got one more?
13:13Yes, we do.
13:14This one, it says it's for everybody.
13:16It says, my husband just told me last night that he wants to watch me have sex with another man.
13:22Oh.
13:23He says he enjoys watching me be pleased.
13:26Is this normal?
13:27We all got to take part in this one.
13:29Side note, he has been my one and only partner we've been together for 10 years.
13:35Whoa, that's a lot to ask for from somebody that's only been with one person.
13:38Okay.
13:39All right.
13:39We can all double-dutch on this one.
13:41Wow.
13:41He's your first person, so he's more advanced than you are.
13:45So we can give him that credit.
13:47Before we tear him down, he's more advanced.
13:51You're still enamored because you're the new person.
13:53This is new to you.
13:54That's your first guy.
13:55That's way advanced.
13:56He might be missing out on something.
13:58He didn't have some questionable ladies or some human, you know, some of all of his crazy ladies we've been talking about all day with skills.
14:04Yeah, yeah.
14:05He didn't have all that.
14:06So he's trying to add something else to the flavor.
14:08So it's not, if you're not into it, you can say you're not into it and it should be, you know, a decision that's been made.
14:16Can you imagine?
14:16Well, hell, Dobby's been campaigning for this.
14:21Not like this.
14:22Not like that.
14:23Not in that role.
14:25But I'm saying, Dobby's been trying to bring somebody in.
14:27You say no, and he come back.
14:30You know what I'm saying?
14:31So, I mean, and he ain't kicked out, so you can discuss things.
14:34Right.
14:34There's nothing wrong with him discussing it with you, but he shouldn't force your way.
14:39Right.
14:39I think you guys need to kind of find a middle ground because, like you said, he's probably a lot more experienced, more advanced.
14:46This is your first and only partner.
14:49You are probably not ready for this, but maybe kind of a couple steps closer to his side.
14:56He can go a couple steps closer, and maybe you guys can meet in the middle.
15:00Meredith ready to tear yours down.
15:01Run, girl.
15:02No!
15:03You need to run away from this.
15:04This is her husband.
15:05Oh, okay.
15:06Stay for a little bit.
15:08How could you run?
15:09Why is it over just because he's expressed what he wants?
15:11I wouldn't break up.
15:12I'm sorry.
15:12I thought that they weren't married.
15:14This is pretty alarming to just bring up in a marriage out of nowhere, and this is your one and true person.
15:20You're supposed to be a rest of your life.
15:21I think this is actually more common than you would think.
15:23It is more common.
15:24You would think that this would be brought up before, like, getting married.
15:28This is why you need to talk about sex.
15:30First of all, sex, don't get me started.
15:32To have sex with another man in front of your husband, that is like, whoa.
15:36I hate to tell y'all this, ladies.
15:39Maybe some of y'all know, but some of y'all don't.
15:42Love and sex come from the same part.
15:44That ain't the same thing to a man.
15:46I get it.
15:46Sex is a tool to get what you need to get.
15:50Love is that girl who's going to be there for me, who I can trust, who's a rider,
15:54who listens, who I listen to, who got the security codes.
15:58Like, that has nothing to do with sex.
16:01Good sex and love have nothing to do with each other.
16:04It's a byproduct, but they're on separate sides of a guy.
16:09I get that.
16:09It sounds like his fantasy lifestyle.
16:11He's just trying to creep it on over into reality, and if you are uncomfortable with that,
16:15you have to have an honest and deep conversation with him.
16:18Be like, that is not happening in our relationship.
16:20I get that that's what you like, but that is something for you, and I'm not going to do that.
16:24If you went home today and Anthony said to you, I'm not saying that he would, but I'm saying in an example,
16:31if he said, man, you know, honestly, you know what would turn me on?
16:35Watching somebody enjoy you like I do.
16:39Him saying that to you should be the most honest thing you can hear from him.
16:43You should be happy he said it.
16:44He shouldn't force it, try and broker it, start bringing dudes by to audition, none of that.
16:50But he just told you what he was interested in.
16:52If she's cool with it, that's fine.
16:53You know, stay open-minded, and maybe you guys can have fun, and your sex life can flourish.
16:57She don't have to do it, but can't he say it?
17:00Yeah, you can be open and honest.
17:01You better be willing.
17:02If you're going to say something like that, you got to be willing to accept the repercussions of, like,
17:07whatever I'm about to, whatever's about to fly out of my mouth.
17:09Like, are you crazy?
17:10I should be able to say it to you, at least not, you know, and then you say yours.
17:14Do you need to say everything that you think, though?
17:15Are you a perv?
17:16Like, no, I just, it was in my mind.
17:18Baby, I'm sorry, you just look so good.
17:20I would, man, I might be all.
17:21Do you know how many things we think on a daily basis that we don't say?
17:24This is your wife of 10 years.
17:26If you can't express to her your deepest desires and wants, who can you express it to?
17:32Do you have to just take that to the grave?
17:33You can, some things need to be taken to the grave.
17:34Hey, Dobby speaking in the world of escape.
17:38Who can I run to?
17:39Who can I need love?
17:43Orlando and the Freak Show.
17:45All right, it's a wrap.
17:46Therapy Thursday.
17:47We need therapy ourselves.
17:49Yeah.
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