00:00Hello everyone! Hi! Good morning! How's everyone doing this morning?
00:09Awesome! Me too! Good morning and welcome to The Hollywood Reporter's 2024 Women in Entertainment
00:17Power 100 Breakfast Gala, The Search for Curly's Gold Part 1, Folliata.
00:24When I was told I had been chosen as one of the Power 100 women in Hollywood, I was
00:29so incredibly honored. And then I said, which number am I? And they said, it doesn't work that
00:34way. You're all equal. And I said, okay, well if that's the case, then can I sit at Nicole Kidman's
00:38table? And that's when the correspondence ended. But then they asked me to do the opening remarks
00:44for today and I didn't even read the rest of the email before. I was like, oh hell yeah!
00:49But then I should have because I then read 7 a.m. arrival time. What the fuck is this?
00:57A breakfast gala for women in Hollywood? We don't even eat that meal. But truly,
01:07no, what better time to honor women than at 8 a.m., than at 8 a.m. before the industry is even
01:13awake in that coveted post-Thanksgiving, pre-Christmas Hollywood dead zone. We are women
01:19in Hollywood. Hear us roar! But not too loudly because the hotel has a quiet policy enforcement
01:25until 9 a.m. But this is awesome. I love being in full glam at the crack of dawn.
01:34What am I supposed to do the rest of the day looking like this? I have fake eyelashes,
01:39fake hair, over-lined lips. I can't go to Ralph's looking like this. It'd be ridiculous.
01:44And if I want to go to Erewhon, I'm going to need to get touch-ups.
01:48Usually, women who look this done up at 7 a.m. aren't entering the Beverly Hills Hotel. They're
01:53leaving with a lot of cash and a fun story about Charlie Sheen. Being a woman in Hollywood is
02:04really difficult for a multitude of reasons that we're going to get into in a second. But
02:08can we all just acknowledge the toll glam takes on our schedules? Thank you.
02:14Did everyone start getting ready when it was still dark outside? Yes? In fact,
02:19I really think this very speech I'm giving right now probably could have been 20% better had I not
02:24spent most of yesterday getting ready just to feel presentable enough to read this in front
02:28of some of the most stunning and powerful women who have ever walked the planet and they're plus
02:33ones. It's a lot, right? It's hard to write a speech in the same day you have to get a spray tan,
02:46do a fitting, get your nails done, and bleach your asshole. I didn't have to do that last one,
02:51but I don't know what the rest of the day entails. It's a privilege to get all done up and have a
02:58team of pros make me look as glamorous as I can possibly be, but let's just remember that this is
03:04a part of our job that men don't really have to do, right? And when they do, you hear about it
03:10non-stop. Oh, so Colin Farrell is so dedicated to his craft that he spends three hours in the
03:16makeup chair to transform into the penguin? That's how long it takes me every day to make sure I
03:20don't look like a penguin, okay? Or any other flightless bird that some Redditor may compare
03:26me to and ruin my week. And I know I don't have to wear makeup, but yes, I do. I'm not Pam Anderson.
03:36I haven't earned the right to a bare face. I've been famous for five minutes. If I started showing
03:41up places without makeup, my agents would place me under conservatorship, controlled by Jamie Spears.
03:48They wouldn't even give it to my dad, but I digress. Let's get back on track. Let's just take a moment
03:56right now to really appreciate the firepower in this room. I mean, look around. This is the Power
04:03100, the most powerful women in Hollywood assembled here together in the same room.
04:08I mean, we're like the Avengers of people who haven't seen the Avengers.
04:16And I'm so honored to be here. It really is because of bold, badass women like you all
04:22that I even get to stand up here and speak my mind and say insane things like I bleached my
04:27asshole. And I still get to work in this business. And yeah, that now that work is going to be in
04:32Charlie Sheen's hotel room, but that's a job's a job. And today we're here to celebrate, honor,
04:39and encourage each other, which let's be honest, in an industry that relentlessly pits us against
04:45each other, isn't always easy to do. I'm so proud to be in this group of amazing women,
04:51but I know that sometimes I struggle with supporting women. And I bet you do too. I'm a
04:58jealous bitch. I can't help it. I wish I wasn't, but I mean, I would bet there are at least like
05:0530 of you in here today that I have at one point muted on Instagram because you got some job I
05:11wanted, or you had some relationship I envied, or worst of all, your hair air dries straight.
05:16It's like, and you've got to mute and muting is fine when you, when you need to protect yourself
05:23from the comparing and despairing. But the thing I found that has helped me in this business more
05:28than anything is sleeping with powerful men. I'm kidding. It's Adderall. But besides those two
05:36things, it's no, it's the truth is the hard thing to do is to be kind and not Ellen kind. It's
05:47so easy to just judge envy and resent women. You fear will take your place in this business,
06:00but the harder thing to do is to bring them in, to give advice, to give them opportunities.
06:06I really try to challenge myself to do exactly what I really wanted women to do for me when I
06:11was coming up in this business. Cause when I first started in standup over two decades ago,
06:16Jenna Ortega ago, I really, I'll never forget that. Um, there was this, in my tiny St. Louis
06:26standup scene, there was a woman who I really looked up to, uh, in the scene who didn't really
06:32like me. And in fact, she went out of her way to tell everyone who mattered that I slept with
06:37comedians for stage time, which of course wasn't true. I blew them, but it's different. Um, but
06:46it sucked, man. Like we've all had something like that happen. And her actions like actually
06:52impacted my life and it was bad, but then I moved to LA and I got out of there. And then I met
06:58comics like Caroline Ray and Sarah Silverman, Wendy Liebman, Bonnie McFarlane and Natasha Leggero,
07:03who were actually like nice to me. And it wasn't just because I ate a mean puss. I mean, it was
07:08because they, they understood, they understood what I hope we all get from today's event.
07:19That we're better when we support one another. We are, especially when that girl that you supported
07:29could one day cast you as her wacky aunt and her hit TV show after your career career derailed
07:34because of your botched eye job. Okay. Which I just turned 40. So we're years and years away
07:39from that two years. But, but this morning, I really, I'm so proud to be a part of the
07:45Hollywood Reporter Women's Power 100. And I'll close by, um, quoting the great lady Gaga,
07:51who once said at least three dozen times, if there are a hundred people in a room and 99
07:58don't believe in you, you're probably at the Men's Power 100. Thank you very much. Enjoy your breakfast.
