00:00 This is Summer.
00:02 She fell in love with Lucy.
00:05 They've always had an open relationship,
00:08 but Lucy has struggled sharing her partner.
00:11 There certainly were some jealousy issues,
00:13 specifically from my side.
00:14 And a few years into their relationship,
00:17 a big change in Summer's life altered their relationship.
00:21 I first realized I wanted to transition in 2020.
00:26 This led to some colorful interactions
00:29 when online dating.
00:30 Would you be interested in making POV [BLEEP] with me?
00:34 Men looking to make an experiment out of me
00:36 because they've never been with a trans woman.
00:38 Just blatantly creepy.
00:40 Today, Lucy's friend will sit down with the couple
00:44 to discuss her views on the unconventional setup.
00:47 I've been dying to know, what were your thoughts
00:50 when you found out that we had an open relationship?
00:54 I'm Summer.
00:54 And I'm Lucy.
00:56 And we've been together for five years.
00:58 We met online on a dating app.
01:00 I found Summer's profile and thought he, at the time,
01:04 was very funny.
01:05 So I swiped yes.
01:07 We got to chatting.
01:08 And then about a week later, we went on a little lunch date.
01:12 And things progressed from there.
01:14 Looks good.
01:15 Yeah?
01:15 I started experimenting with women's clothing and makeup
01:18 and just feminine expression in general in 2015.
01:21 It was my first year of university.
01:24 I came to a much more open space than what my hometown was.
01:29 This was very much my party and first year of university phase.
01:33 Clothes were definitely part of that awareness
01:35 and discovery of myself.
01:38 Remember how little I used to care about clothing?
01:40 Yeah, as a man, you had a particular style
01:44 that you wore every day.
01:45 And that was actually kind of my depression wear.
01:47 It was just jeans and button-down shirts
01:51 because they concealed the shape of my body.
01:53 In 2020, we were still pretty deep in lockdowns.
01:57 You grew out the hair on your head
01:59 because you couldn't get haircuts.
02:00 Everybody looked like a mess.
02:01 All the hairdressers were closed.
02:03 I like to think that was one of the tipping points for when
02:05 I decided to transition.
02:07 I was nervous about how it might shake up the relationship.
02:14 I was wondering if she would stick with me through that.
02:17 He answers yes, apparently.
02:18 I'm still here.
02:19 She's still here for some reason.
02:21 Why are you still here?
02:22 Because I love you.
02:23 I love you.
02:26 I did have a few concerns going into it
02:29 when I came out to my family.
02:31 Once the initial shock wore off that my parents didn't
02:35 have a son anymore, they now had a lovely daughter,
02:38 they realized that this was something that made me happy
02:41 and I'm old enough to make my own decisions.
02:43 At one point, I was also asked, well,
02:45 now that you're both women, who does the proposing,
02:47 if that ever happens?
02:49 I don't think we figured that one out either.
02:51 No, we don't know.
02:53 Seeing Simon's appearance change throughout her transition
02:56 has been really wonderful to see because, as I'm sure
03:02 most trans people will know, those early days of transition
03:06 are really just magical.
03:09 We've had an open relationship right from the beginning.
03:13 My past relationships were non-monogamous.
03:15 I decided that monogamy just wasn't
03:17 working for me ever again.
03:19 Simon was my first serious relationship.
03:21 I was nervous going into the open relationship.
03:24 Because non-monogamy is not the norm in most relationships,
03:28 it's not like we have a social script for how to behave.
03:32 For us in our relationship, we're
03:34 allowed to seek out other people,
03:37 but we're not looking for relationships
03:41 other than our own.
03:42 There are so many ways transitioning
03:47 has changed my love life.
03:48 I get a lot more attention nowadays, especially from men.
03:53 Not all of it has been welcome.
03:55 It was like going from 0 to 100, from one side of the dating
03:59 pool straight to the other side and having
04:01 to just adjust to the way women are treated in dating.
04:04 But on the positive side, I've also
04:06 discovered my own bisexuality.
04:08 As a boy growing up, you were told
04:12 it's wrong to be attracted to men, but you're not a man.
04:16 Transitioning has allowed you freedom from that.
04:19 It feels like a cheat code.
04:21 I have negative experiences with online dating.
04:24 Men looking to make an experiment out of me
04:26 because they've never been with a trans woman,
04:28 but are just blatantly creepy about it.
04:31 So we got this guy.
04:33 He popped up in both of our inboxes
04:35 with exactly the same message.
04:37 Would you be interested in making POV [BLEEP] with me?
04:44 Real charming guy.
04:46 Today, our friend Kyra is coming over
04:48 to share her opinion on our open relationship.
04:51 And I'm intrigued to hear what she has to say.
04:54 At the beginning of our relationship,
04:56 I spoke to Kyra about jealousy issues
04:58 I was having at the time.
05:00 And I wanted to see how she's feeling about where I am now.
05:07 I think at times she's been worried
05:08 about my mental health.
05:12 Hi.
05:13 Hi.
05:14 How are you?
05:15 Good, and you?
05:15 I'm good.
05:17 Kyra, I've been dying to know, what
05:20 were your thoughts when you found out
05:21 that we had an open relationship?
05:23 Well, I was a little concerned because it
05:26 was Lucy's first relationship.
05:28 And also, you were a man.
05:29 So red flags.
05:31 [LAUGHS]
05:33 Yeah.
05:34 And I think your transition as well
05:36 played a big role in that open relationship stabilizing.
05:40 Once you were in the role that you were more comfortable in
05:43 and you were able to explore that together,
05:46 you were less toxic as a woman.
05:47 [LAUGHTER]
05:49 I'm really toxic.
05:51 It doesn't feel like a man chasing after all the women
05:55 he can get and a girlfriend not doing that.
05:58 We're two girlfriends, and we don't pursue other people
06:03 with that much frequency anyway.
06:06 I've seen you, Summer, be more open to emotional vulnerability
06:11 and engaging on that level.
06:12 So I think you guys have really improved each other.
06:15 [LAUGHS]
06:16 We're in a really good place.
06:18 It's been really lovely to be your friend
06:21 and to be with you guys through these experiences
06:24 and in the end to grow closer together.
06:26 I'm kind of sad.
06:27 You feel like you are the best.
06:28 You know that?
06:29 You are the best, best, best.
06:30 And we're going to keep you our friend, huh?
06:33 I cannot pick a single thing that I love about Lucy.
06:36 She's wonderful, and I want to spend forever with her
06:38 at the end.
06:39 Your turn.
06:41 You are the full package.
06:44 You're funny.
06:45 You're sweet.
06:46 You're caring.
06:47 You're beautiful.
06:48 I feel like you're always on my team,
06:52 willing to work through things.
06:54 And I feel like you can't cope with me complimenting you
06:59 so much.
07:01 Anyway, I love you.
07:02 I love you so much.
07:03 What would you say to those who judge trans women?
07:07 [BLEEP] off.
07:08 [LAUGHS]
07:11 [BLANK_AUDIO]
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