00:00This is Lessons.
00:02He fell in love with Leah.
00:05At the time, we both identified as lesbians, both female, and
00:11today I stand before you as transgender male.
00:14Some of the judgment that we faced have been more so along the lines of you're not a real man.
00:20This is not a real relationship. They don't know us. They don't know anything about us. It's just disgusting.
00:25I'm gonna be calling my mom to really pick her brain and see how she truly felt about our relationship and my transition.
00:32How did you feel when I was on the corner talking to you on the phone and told you I'm not your daughter,
00:38I'm your son. I'm transgender.
00:40Honestly, I was hurt.
00:43My name is Leah. My friends and family had a hard time accepting the fact that I was gay and now my husband is trans.
00:50Leah and I met nine years ago at a college party in New York.
00:54At the time, we both identified as lesbians, both female. Today,
00:59I stand before you as transgender male and Leah pansexual. I first realized I was transgender in
01:07high school. I couldn't say the words out loud and I kind of just brushed it under the rug
01:11until the words that I kept inside got too loud. This is a throwback. This was when we first started
01:19dating. Like, not even dating. We were just talking, getting to know one another.
01:23This was our first picture that I ever posted of us. Very first picture ever.
01:28It's just smiley from you.
01:31This is the day I proposed.
01:33We're right under the tree.
01:35The other way was the sunset. This is Timmy's
01:39graduation. I was actually transitioning here. Beginning stages, right? I have nothing. I was still wearing a binder, everything.
01:46This was the first time I went to a beach without a top on.
01:52My first summer after top surgery. I revealed to Leah that I wanted to transition, I want to say in
02:002017. When I revealed it to her, I was nervous. You know, I was petrified.
02:04I thought I was gonna lose the woman that I truly love.
02:07I had no idea Bless wanted to transition prior to him telling me.
02:13I noticed a shift in his mood and behavior.
02:17Kind of fell into like a depression. And that's when I started asking more questions,
02:20you know, trying to figure out what it was.
02:22The reason why I kept it in for so long,
02:25I had to be able to say it to myself before I could say it to other people out loud.
02:28And then when I was able to do that, I felt like my whole world probably was gonna be
02:34twisted upside down just because this was literally like this, boom, here you go.
02:39This is what it is. And even though you didn't meet me like this,
02:42and this is not what you signed up for, you might leave me. So it was always that risk factor,
02:46which is why I kept it from her for so long. With my sexuality,
02:51once I realized nothing's changed with the way I love him, it made me put things into perspective.
02:56And I was like, okay, this isn't bisexuality. And I'm obviously not a lesbian.
03:01So... What am I?
03:03What am I?
03:05And we did some research and I found out that I was pansexual.
03:09And I never knew that was a thing up until he came out as trans.
03:13In regards to our relationship and the judgment we receive, a lot of people,
03:17one, they think our relationship is lies.
03:20They think transgender people should not exist or don't deserve to live.
03:25They think our relationship is some sort of fluke or glitch that's not supposed to exist as well.
03:32Some of the judgment that we face have been more so along the lines of, you know,
03:37you're not a real, like, man, this is not a real relationship.
03:42What a strange world we live in.
03:44Very strange.
03:45Degeneracy. They don't know me. So how do you know if I'm a degenerate or not?
03:49No such thing as trans, just as men and women.
03:52Personally, I'm the type of person, I don't care what people think. I learned that very early.
03:59So when he was feeling kind of down about, you know, some of the hate comments,
04:02I told him, like, they don't know us, let them hate and be, and soak in their misery.
04:08With Bluss's transition, there obviously were a lot of changes.
04:12Facial features kind of broadening, the facial hair, hair on the body, him losing some physical...
04:20Like hips.
04:20Hips, not having breasts anymore. None of those things made me love him any less.
04:25When I first met Bluss, there was no problems with the pronouns she, her.
04:31So I had to adjust. And I live with him, so I felt like it was hard.
04:35And I felt so bad every time I slipped up.
04:38When some of his features started to come in, like the facial hair,
04:41and his jaw started getting a little more stronger,
04:44and I saw certain parts of his body kind of going down, and he didn't have the breasts.
04:48It's like, what I look like calling you she?
04:50Yeah, and my voice too.
04:51And his voice started getting deeper too.
04:53So over time, it was just easy, and it just flowed, and it feels fine.
04:59At the beginning, when he did come out as trans,
05:03he wore baggy shirts to avoid his chest from showing.
05:07And after he got top surgery, he didn't need the tape.
05:12Before I transitioned, I had this sweater, this jacket, this hoodie.
05:17This was my go-to hoodie.
05:20Because it was so loose, it was just...
05:23It wasn't form-fitting, and it would hide my chest well.
05:27Some of my clothes I still have, they just fit in a way that I feel more comfortable with now.
05:33My friends and family, in the beginning, they were a bit skeptical.
05:36They didn't know if she'd stick around, or if I was going to take her seriously.
05:40I'm going to be calling my mom to really pick her brain
05:43and see how she truly felt about our relationship and my transition.
05:47So we're going to ask you some questions, and you got to be honest.
05:53When Leah and I first got together,
05:55what did you think about our relationship, or any concerns?
05:58Well, in the beginning, I was concerned because of the way you were.
06:03You wasn't like...
06:05Let's just say...
06:07I didn't take you seriously with Leah, because you was in school, you was partying.
06:11You know, you was doing your thing.
06:12And then after a couple of months that I saw how serious you was,
06:16I was like, maybe she is the one that could, you know, straighten you out a little bit.
06:21How did you feel that day when I was on the corner,
06:26talking to you on the phone and told you,
06:29I'm not your daughter, I'm your son, I'm transgender?
06:32Honestly, I was hurt.
06:34And the reason why I was hurt, like I told you before,
06:37was because I couldn't have no more kids.
06:40And the daughter that I had wasn't going to be my daughter no more.
06:46Did you have any concerns about his transition and what that would look like?
06:51Yes.
06:52And the reason why I was concerned,
06:54because I thought we was going to go through the whole transformation.
06:59But it didn't go that way, because I read up and I saw videos of what could happen,
07:06the after effect, and that worried me.
07:09But when he said that he was just going to do the breast part, I was okay with it.
07:14How do you feel about Leah and my relationship now today?
07:20Oh, I love it.
07:21I feel that you'll build a beautiful relationship.
07:25You'll help one another when you're going through your up and down.
07:29You know, that's only for a couple of hours and you'll wind up talking about it
07:33and building your relationship back and it gets stronger.
07:36Bless.
07:39Has changed my life for the better.
07:42Just allowing me to work on myself as an individual,
07:45so that way also our relationship can grow, our marriage can flourish.
07:50Leah has definitely become the epitome of the woman that I want to be with,
07:55spend the rest of my life with.
07:56Our relationship works because we don't adhere to society when it comes to us.
08:02We do what works for us, no matter what it looks like to the outside world.
08:12you
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