- 3 days ago
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00:17I remember when Rock was young, me and Sildy had so much fun
00:23Sorry, we went to the wrong crop tour
00:25Yep, one of those missing Swedish backpackers did our boat tour
00:28Then they left and they got walked through
00:30Yeah, we'll just wait for these boats, can't we?
00:32Yeah
00:34Right, Leon, do I have to see?
00:36It's Neil
00:37Yeah, what's wrong, babe?
00:38Welcome to Don Darrell's Best Best Jump and Croc Tours
00:42I'm Amber, Don's daughter
00:43My husband, Grant, is a skipper
00:45And my little brother with a pole is called Troy
00:47Isn't that right, Troy?
00:48Yeah
00:48Yeah, alright, so safety stuff
00:50Hands and feet inside the boat at all times
00:53Any questions?
00:54Yeah, who are the traditional owners here?
00:56Yeah, so my dad started Best Best back in the late 70s
00:59Which is way before fucking Jason Wade's fucking land of Crocs
01:02Way before, right?
01:04Okay, alright bud, let's go
01:10Now, a lot of people say if you're getting attacked by a croc
01:14You want to gouge out its eyes
01:15But what are they being, Troy?
01:17Naive
01:17That's right, they're being naive
01:19As my dad Don always says
01:21If you're getting attacked by a croc
01:23You're not surviving, you're dying
01:26Okay, look over here
01:28You'll see your first croc
01:30Old scrubber
01:31See?
01:31Can you all see that?
01:33Can you see that?
01:33There is, there is
01:34Good, no refunds
01:36Troy, pole
01:43Let's see if she's going to give us a show here today
01:46Hey
01:50That's it, she's here
01:52Alright
01:55Now you might be thinking
01:56Fuck me, that's a big croc
01:58But it's not
01:59No, it's not
02:00Old scrubber here is only three metres
02:02Because she's just a girl
02:04Our bullcrock along here is Goliath
02:075.3 metres, teeth to tail
02:09He's the boss
02:10And he'll take down any male who tries to take over his territory
02:13Now the bullcrock are the strongest bite balls of any living animal
02:15The equivalent
02:16The weight of the people are discussing with the bite balls
02:18Hey, you what, you rack up
02:20The border is the big white truck
02:23Bullshit of this, bud
02:25Grab him, bud
02:26Grab him
02:26You look like a shaved dick
02:33No, never
02:35What?
02:37Holy shit
02:38Which bull is it?
02:39Is it Goliath?
02:40Use the pole choice
02:41Flip him
02:42Fucking flip him
02:43Come on, give him a big one
02:44It's not Goliath
02:46Fuck
02:46Wait, Troy
02:48Come on
02:49What the fuck's that?
02:50It's
02:50It's
02:52It's
02:53It's
02:54It's
02:55It's
02:56It's
02:57It's
03:17It's
03:18I'll do, do, do, push my apple, shake the tree.
03:22I'll do, do, do, push my apple, shake the tree.
03:26Oh, that's the new one!
03:29Are you going to play?
03:31Alan!
03:32Alan!
03:33Oh, Eddie, don't get in there.
03:36Alan!
03:36I was getting out, Eddie.
03:37Hey, I've got you a new superintendent of our police attitude.
03:41What's his name?
03:42Oh, it's Hulton.
03:42Macaulay Culkin, yeah, yeah.
03:44He's just called.
03:45He said we could talk about pushing today.
03:46Come on!
03:46I'll break the surface tension, oh, I'm a slip string.
03:51All right, here's the plan, okay?
03:52We go into HQ and we go,
03:54Oi, listen up, cunts.
03:55Bush's death was sus as fuck, okay?
03:57We reckon he was definitely investigating something
03:59and that's what got him killed.
04:01And there we go, you lot have obviously been too busy
04:04sitting around or licking your own fucking dickholes
04:06to see what's been happening here,
04:07so you need a toodle fuck and let us run the case.
04:10Capisce?
04:11Or comprende?
04:12Let's give those lazy cunts a rat.
04:15Oh, for sake, Collins, that's liquid gold.
04:18I didn't think that you were doing what you ended up doing.
04:20I didn't know you were going to dance.
04:22Can you tell me if my ponytail is straight?
04:24I don't.
04:26Look, there's no easy way to say this,
04:27but Detective Bushman committed suicide.
04:30Oh, the bullet they found in his skull matched ballistics
04:32which confirmed that it was discharged from his own service weapon.
04:36Oh, yeah, I'm terribly sorry.
04:38No.
04:40No.
04:41Someone's got the wrong end of the deal with that one.
04:45Well, the brief from Bush's psychologist
04:47also said that he was struggling with depression,
04:51hypertension, complex PTSD, suicidal ideation.
04:55Yeah, but that's just cop stuff.
04:57Everyone talks about blowing their brains out after a few beers.
05:00It's just a regular Friday night, isn't it?
05:03Uh, there was also a note.
05:06Yeah, his wife Holly found it when she was backing up the home.
05:09Um, you'll mention, Detective Redford.
05:12Uh, look, I know how rough this is.
05:16I went through the same thing with my police partner ten years ago
05:19and I did not cope.
05:21You know, I started drinking.
05:22I got heavily into capoeira.
05:24You know what, that's probably, um,
05:25that's probably just a note from some other time, I think.
05:27There was another time?
05:28Well, no, he's, uh, he's dated it and initialed it,
05:31so it's quite thorough, really.
05:32No, I'm just going to take this and, um,
05:35and give you a rig to Colby.
05:36All right, would you like some comfort?
05:38No, no, fine, fine, fine, fine.
05:39I can read now, sir.
05:41Oh, look, we can offer the detective counselling
05:43or leave a support dog, a therapy puppet.
05:47Well, HR's really pushing the puppets at the moment.
05:49It's just probably less training, that's all.
05:51Well, folks, the dry season's over
05:53and the rains are coming,
05:55so that means it's time for our build-up sales.
05:57We've got tankinis, monokinis,
06:00cutouts, bochinis,
06:01and we've got a lot of time to get a bit of luck.
06:20So, um, so you and your husband...
06:23Uh, my wife.
06:24Oh, right, yeah.
06:25No, that's good, too.
06:26Better, actually.
06:27You know, I voted yes.
06:29So, now the Bushman case has been, uh, resolved.
06:32Will you be heading back to Tassie?
06:34Uh, no plans to go back, no.
06:37No, I was considering a lateral transfer.
06:41I could pivot to the missing Swedish backpacker's case.
06:45Oh, um...
06:47Yeah, well, Detective Blunt's leading task force, Hamar.
06:50Okay, all right.
06:51Well, I've tried suggesting people for his team before,
06:54and I think Blunt's commitment to diversity
06:55only stretches as far as a bloke who wears contact lenses.
06:58Right, right.
06:59Yeah, so, uh, backpacker team's a such shop, unfortunately.
07:02Uh-huh.
07:04Still, Darwin's worth the trip, isn't it?
07:06You know, incredible beaches.
07:08Well, not for the swimming, obviously,
07:09with the crocs and the jellyfish
07:10and the undentinated World War II bombs.
07:13Yeah, but these waterfalls, they're spectacular.
07:32Well, she took his own life.
07:34Yes, he did.
07:35Oh, that's awful.
07:36How's that?
07:37Got any King Pythons?
07:38Only in jumbo packets.
07:40Fuck!
07:41Does she have any family here?
07:43Like a support network?
07:44No.
07:45Uh, we saw Holly, and she handed Eddie that box of bushy stuff
07:49and said she never wanted to hear from anyone
07:50in Territory Police ever again.
07:51Well, I'm glad Eddie's been offered counselling.
07:53She needs a therapist.
07:54Maybe someone who specialises in ADHD and young boys.
07:56Did you want to enter the competition
07:57for Jason Way's Big Barrow Bashing Enzyme?
07:59The Golden Barrow's 200k this year.
08:00No.
08:04Or you can sign up for the Bashing Enzyme raffle
08:05and win a jet ski.
08:06It's got a swim platform and a cover and stuff and whatever.
08:10All right, hand it over.
08:12Okay, so what's the plan now?
08:14We have noodles and...
08:15No, no, the plan plan, besides going to a waterfall.
08:17Oh, um, I hear ASIO's hiring...
08:20No, not work, sexy life.
08:22Let's drive around Australia.
08:24Fern is with her grandmas in Sydney
08:25and I've left all my book clubs.
08:26Come on, we're rich, unemployed lesbians.
08:28It's either a road trip or we run for parliament
08:30and I could get into surfing
08:31and you could get into something weather-y.
08:34Or you could be like a storm chaser like Helen Hunt.
08:37You love the weather
08:38and I could get some of those rubber boots
08:39so you don't get electrocuted.
08:41Kath, I'm feeling with my feelings that...
08:45Yeah, okay, yeah, I need to...
08:46The rubber boots can wake up.
08:47Yes.
08:48Can't they?
08:48Yeah, because we need to focus on what's important right now
08:50and that is Eddie, isn't it?
08:52Yes.
08:52She needs our love and our support
08:54and a float at a waterfall
08:56that's only a little bit crocky.
08:58What's a little bit crocky?
09:00Yeah, sign us up to win a jet ski.
09:02Okay.
09:03Yeah, we're just going to beat a bloke called Lloyd Reynolds
09:05who entered 48 times in a row.
09:08Uh, Eddie...
09:09Yeah, look, I owe you too so sorry.
09:11You know, for making you put your life on hold
09:14and for dragging you all the way up here.
09:16It's fine.
09:16Collins, I'm sorry that Bushy's investigation was a bust
09:19and now you're up here in Darwin for no good reason
09:21and, you know, you look like shit all the time
09:23because of the humidity.
09:24Oh, her haircut routine just needs tweaking.
09:28Anyway, I'm going to piss off
09:30while you go back to your gay marriage.
09:32What?
09:32You're going?
09:33Yeah, yeah.
09:33Got plenty of stuff to get onto.
09:35You've got this bag of snakes
09:35about to win a jet ski, so that'll keep me busy.
09:38Anyway, point is, this is the end.
09:39The end of the friendship.
09:41Oi, Alira.
09:42Which way's the desert?
09:45Right-o.
09:47Too right.
09:48Eddie, wait.
09:49Nah, you're right.
09:50Dulcy, do something.
09:51I'll get my sports bras from the sweeping nook in the camera.
09:54Uh, Detective Dulcy Collins.
09:55Cat, you got the keys?
09:56No, Dulcy's got them.
09:57Oh, Superintendent Culkin.
09:58Eddie, just wait.
09:59We can talk about this.
10:00We're at a petrol station in...
10:03Dick's River.
10:03Dick's River.
10:04Oh, no, no, Dirk's River.
10:05Uh, Dirk...
10:06No, Dirk's River.
10:06There's no Dicks.
10:07It's not...
10:09How can I help you?
10:11How can we help?
10:31All right.
10:34Does Barrow Creek get many body parts lodged inside dead reptiles?
10:38You're not supposed to fucking know.
10:39You think it's male or female?
10:40I don't know how this croc identified.
10:42Oh, don't be smart.
10:43I'm at the arm.
10:44I know what you meant.
10:45Someone to get dragged into your fucking who, what, when, where, who bullshit.
10:49I put the police tape up.
10:50Stopped a grey nomad from taking a picture of the arm on her iPad.
10:53I've done plenty.
10:53Okay?
10:54Come on, let's go.
10:55Look, if we run fast enough, we can catch up with Catherine the waterfall.
10:58Superintendent Culkin asked us to assist the local senior sergeant until homicide.
11:01Eddie, don't make that face.
11:02Well, he is not my boss.
11:03And neither are you.
11:04So, stiff clitties.
11:05Stiff clitties?
11:05Oh, lovely.
11:06Put this crap with this.
11:07I want a word with you lot.
11:08Oh, hey.
11:09Uh-huh.
11:10I've got to go piss.
11:11No.
11:12You just win.
11:12I've got UTI, okay?
11:13It's like fire ants in my aretha.
11:15Oi, listen.
11:16You cops need to fuck off.
11:18We've got a tour coming through here in 45 and I'm not cancelling.
11:20I've already had to refund that mouth from Melbourne because Leon vombed on her shoes.
11:24$55.
11:24Well, no, no.
11:25We will not leave, ma'am, because this is a crime scene.
11:28This is not a crime scene.
11:29This is my private property.
11:30How dare you?
11:32What the fuck are you doing here?
11:34I'm not here.
11:35I'm not me, so...
11:36You think I wouldn't recognise you coming in here behind those blood shit polarised lenses?
11:40Hey, I'm great.
11:41Sorry, what is happening here?
11:42You need to fuck off.
11:43She's barred from here.
11:43Okay?
11:44My dad barred her from here.
11:45Yeah, yeah.
11:45Pat, pat.
11:45She's barred from here.
11:47Eddie.
11:48It's not on, Pat.
11:49Get her out.
11:50Oh, you're welcome home.
11:51What do you mean welcome home?
11:52Home as in home, home.
11:54You're from Barracree.
11:55No, no, no.
11:56Last time I saw you, you probably don't.
11:58Rolling drunk she was.
12:00Okay, yeah.
12:00Out on the highway, some dog.
12:02Having a fight with a tree.
12:03How long are you home for?
12:04I'm not home, okay?
12:05I hate this fucking town.
12:06I hope it slides into the river next time it fucking rains.
12:09Well, piss off then, before Dad comes back and you become the fucking crime scene.
12:12Oh, great.
12:13Look, the juice squad is right.
12:14That's perfect, Tony.
12:15It's been lovely.
12:16Good luck with your life.
12:17Have a great one.
12:17And Amber, you can suck a fuck.
12:20Colin, meet you in the car park.
12:22I'm calling, Kat.
12:22Who's this?
12:23It's not the dirt's written, boys.
12:25That's Detective Blunt.
12:27He's on the backpacker case.
12:29What's he doing here?
12:31All right, clear the scene.
12:32We've got it from here.
12:38Ranges in rock.
12:39Get him to cut the croc open.
12:40There'll be more inside.
12:44What size are these tiny girl gloves, Steve?
12:46Small to medium.
12:47Fucking small to medium.
12:48Fuck.
12:48Steve, you got that photo?
12:50All right.
12:52Yep.
12:53I called it.
12:54The arm's got the same tattoo.
12:55See?
12:55Both lavender.
12:56That's her flower tattoo.
12:57It's Amber.
12:58It's Amber's arm.
12:58Swedish girl's got to eat.
12:59They got eaten by crocs.
13:00100%.
13:01Put that on ice.
13:02Send it to the fiancé.
13:03Where's my phone?
13:04I'm calling the senator.
13:05Hello, mate.
13:06Yes.
13:06As suspected.
13:07Yeah.
13:07Sorry, can I...
13:08Shit news.
13:09Can I just...
13:09I'll tell you what.
13:09If you call for that croc,
13:10Senator, I'm going to back you 200%, mate.
13:12Yeah, you have my...
13:13Hang on, Russ.
13:14Sorry.
13:14I've got a tourist here.
13:16Oh.
13:16This is a crime scene.
13:17Yes, I know.
13:18I'm Detective Collins.
13:19Superintendent Colcurn called me into assist.
13:21That pinko greenie.
13:22Of course he fucking did.
13:23Senator, sorry.
13:24Can I call you back, mate?
13:26So you think that that arm belongs to one of the Swedish backpackers?
13:29No, I don't think.
13:29I know.
13:31Right.
13:31Yes.
13:32Right.
13:32Well, I worked as a detective for 15 years,
13:35and I just completed five years in Tasmania,
13:37so if an extra pair of hands is needed to figure out the victim's last movements,
13:42I can...
13:42Hang on, did you say Tasmania?
13:43Yes.
13:44Yes.
13:44What's your name again?
13:44Dulcie Collins.
13:46You're that dead lake bird.
13:47You know you're the talk of the group, chat.
13:49How you fucked up an investigation so royally,
13:51you got three innocent men killed.
13:54One of them was a serial killer, actually.
13:57Yeah, well, look, thanks for the offer, but I don't need any help.
13:59You know, particularly from Nancy Drew's fucking stretched-out addict twin.
14:02Have a good one.
14:03Okay, boys, we've got to do this presser.
14:05What do you reckon, ABR is on or off?
14:06On?
14:07Yeah, I reckon on.
14:08I reckon on.
14:09I reckon on.
14:16So which rock was it then, Nick?
14:18I don't know which one it is, Isaac.
14:19It's too busted up.
14:20Is it a bull from another part of the river?
14:22Like, Wopper from Ducks River?
14:23Or Cyclops?
14:24Or Dunker?
14:25Look at him, that nightclub busted your ear bones cars.
14:27I already said, I don't know.
14:29Whoever he is, he's fucking massive.
14:30Maybe it was Mega Man.
14:31Oh, my God, shut up!
14:36Cut!
14:37Lovely.
14:41Eddie!
14:43If this is about me not telling you I was from here, fuck me.
14:47You're not even three hours in this rat hole that's already taken its toll, haven't you, Collins?
14:50Yeah, the bones are rusted.
14:52Nothing happened.
14:52Green water.
14:53Sorry, I'm late.
14:54I got caught talking to lesbians.
14:56There were so many of them and they were all so beautiful.
14:59Waterfalls.
14:59I mean, there were only two confirmed lesbians and they were both very sunburnt.
15:03Okay.
15:03All right, Kath, let's get out of here.
15:05She's a seat at the Garland Ski Club with my ass's name on it.
15:07Oh, no, no, we can't drive anywhere.
15:09The campervan company said we're not allowed to drive on the highway after dark because
15:12of the buffaloes.
15:13But I've hooked us into the Barra Creek Caravan Park for the night.
15:17Fuck!
15:18What?
15:19Have you stayed there before?
15:20Are the toilets bad?
15:23Yeah!
15:41But first, a sad update in the search for missing Swedish backpackers with leaked detective
15:46Michael Blunt addressing media earlier this evening.
15:48We believe that Swedish backpacker Eberling was the victim of a croc attack.
15:52We also believe that it's only a matter of time before we recover the remains of one
15:56Astrodalberg.
15:57It's pretty clear that Eberle went into the water at Crossley's Crossing at some time.
16:01Probably have a skinny dip.
16:02Yeah, and she's been taken by a bullcrop.
16:05And then that bullcrop has choked on her arm and floated upstream to Barra Creek where
16:08it was discovered.
16:08We need to start culling the bastards.
16:11The Swedes?
16:12No, not the bloody Swedes, Rabbit.
16:14The bloody crocs.
16:16They've taken over.
16:17They'll be walking on land next.
16:19Okay, my love.
16:21Is Eddie joining us?
16:22I've got us the Inu and kangaroo sausages.
16:23They're the house special.
16:24Okay, so the pub has new owners, Lynn and Mary.
16:27Both straight for now, but life's long, isn't it?
16:29It is.
16:30Is that Eddie?
16:31Oh my God, look at her.
16:32Look at her little top-knot dolls.
16:35I know she doesn't have any family in town.
16:37Is there anyone she wants to catch up with while we're here?
16:39We could throw a barbecue.
16:40We just need a barbecue.
16:42Actually, I'm going to buy us a barbecue.
16:43Is that the backpackers?
16:45Yeah, Lynn said they weren't here.
16:49I wonder where Eddie's got to.
17:07G'day, everyone.
17:08So, uh, Mary and I have decided that bingo will go ahead tonight, but now it'll be in Astrid and
17:14Ebbers' honour.
17:14Which is nice.
17:15No-one likes your effin' bingo.
17:17Take a bingo sheet out of respect for the dead bird, or Lynn won't be driving you to dialysis next
17:21week.
17:22What are you doing?
17:24Oh, nothing.
17:25That's a...
17:26That's a train.
17:29If that's a train, you need an MRI.
17:31It looks like an arm.
17:32Tell us what's going on.
17:33I promise I won't freak out.
17:34I'm doing so much work on myself at the moment.
17:36I've basically evolved into a cosmic head.
17:39Oh, Kath, Blunt made an ID on the arm today without any forensics input.
17:45It's based on a tattoo on an arm that had been used as a reptile's chew toy.
17:50Do you think it's Ebbers' tattoo?
17:52I don't know.
17:53I don't know.
17:53But it's frustrating.
17:54I don't have access to the crime scene photos because I'm not working the case.
17:58You see, Blunt said that the backpackers were last seen at Crossley's Crossing.
18:01But look at that mural over there.
18:02How did the arm travel to Barrett Creek?
18:04We're 50 kilometers upstream.
18:06Last call for bingo!
18:08Kath, what if the arm doesn't belong to Ebbers?
18:10What if Blunt's got this ID wrong?
18:13Those missing women could still be out there, and that's to say nothing of the actual person
18:17whose arm was found today.
18:19What about them?
18:20The way this is being investigated is just not right.
18:23Do you remember what I said in our marriage fails?
18:24Yes, I do remember because all four of our parents were there.
18:28I said your sense of justice is my favorite thing about you, aside from your perfect clip.
18:32Yeah, and then a month later my dad died.
18:34Yeah, look, if you think there's something wrong here, you need to go for it.
18:38We'll just keep checking in.
18:40Okay?
18:40Uh, before I get on the bingo balls, I'll have a minute's silence for Astrid and Ebber.
18:47I'll use the timer on my phone.
18:50Okay, and go.
19:02Oh, sorry, my bad there.
19:28Eddie!
19:34Collins, what are you doing?
19:36I'm running to you.
19:37Why are you so fucking slow?
19:39Oh, Christ.
19:41I'm overheating.
19:42I am like a computer on a lap.
19:45How does anyone move up here?
19:47The air is thicker than clag.
19:50Listen, Blunt has made the wrong ID on that arm.
19:53I can feel it.
19:54No, no, what you're feeling is a very, very bad case of tit thrush.
19:58No, that, oh, okay, well, that was not Kath's story to tell.
20:01I saw the cream.
20:01No, well, the fungal infection under my breasts is totally irrelevant right now.
20:04Look.
20:05Look, the tattoos don't match.
20:07Ebber's tattoo is lavender and violet and the victim's tattoo is, I mean, I don't know exactly
20:12what that is, but I think there's legs involved.
20:14But the point is, the arm from the river isn't Ebber's.
20:17I think we've got a John Doe on our hands.
20:19No, I don't have anything on my hands.
20:20Yeah?
20:21Some round I want to go for a swimmer now.
20:23River filled with reptilian-death puppies.
20:25Not my problem.
20:25Okay, right, well, I'm sending you the photo.
20:26No!
20:27No, I'm sending it.
20:27Don't send me the photo.
20:28I am sending you the photo.
20:29And there, it's sent.
20:32Was that your phone?
20:35Oh, that was very silly, Eddie.
20:36That was just a silly, silly thing to do.
20:39How are you going to make calls now?
20:40I don't care.
20:40I'm not going to make a fucking call.
20:41I won't make a call ever again in my whole fucking life.
20:43Come on.
20:48I understand not...
20:52Look, I understand not wanting to spend time in your hometown.
20:57I grew up in Canberra, and I didn't have many friends either.
21:00I had many friends.
21:02Mostly because 8 p.m. curfew, and we prayed a lot, but we can't walk away from this.
21:09Watch me.
21:10I'll make a fucking jaunty for you.
21:12Hey, God.
21:14Eddie.
21:15Do you see me walk away?
21:17This community deserves answers.
21:19Mate, there is no community in Barra Creek, okay?
21:22A full arm showed up.
21:24But did anybody report a missing person?
21:26No.
21:26No one in this town gives a shit about anything or anyone.
21:30Okay, fine.
21:30That's fine, Eddie.
21:31You go back to Darwin.
21:33You drink your coat.
21:34Turn around on your new jet ski.
21:35Oh, yeah.
21:36Turn around on your new jet ski that you will absolutely not win.
21:38But I am staying here because I owe it to this John Doe to at least try and ID them.
21:43Says, what else am I going to do?
21:45I'm going to go to Alice Springs.
21:47It is a lesbian social worker vortex.
21:49It will suck caffeine and never let her go.
21:55You're earstaffing big fat balls.
21:57I told you to fuck off.
21:58I'm going home tomorrow, Amber, okay?
22:00So you can fucking fuck off.
22:01From Dad's best, best billboard right down to the drowsy driver roadside trivia site,
22:05this is my family's.
22:07Barra Creek is Daryl country, and you're not welcome after what you did.
22:10Ugh, I didn't fucking do anything.
22:12You bought a crock in Dad's ute!
22:13Oh, come on!
22:14It was a one-meter freshie, okay?
22:16That was crock justice, and it wasn't even big enough to bite his hand.
22:18And you know what?
22:19He deserved it after what he did.
22:20What did he do?
22:21Don't worry about it.
22:23You tried to kill him.
22:23Don fucking bulldozed a roadside memorial to my mum
22:27so he could widen his driveway by 70 centimeters.
22:30Yeah, so he could get the truck in to get the new shed in to put the boat in.
22:33You rat dogs.
22:34You bunch of your fucking rat dogs.
22:35Hey, 7.35am, I'm doing the daycare drop-off at Crocky Kids with a Z.
22:39When I come back through here for the iced coffees,
22:42I'd better not see you, yeah?
22:43My family run this town.
22:45What town?
22:46It's just a fucking pub, a police station, a fucking bin.
22:49Yeah, well, the joke's on your shithead, because we've got two bins now!
22:52Oh, okay, cool.
22:53Guess what else you got, too?
22:54This one and this one.
22:55Fucking sit on that.
22:56Hairshot!
22:57Yeah, tell Dodd to sit on it, too.
22:58Sit on a big one.
22:59You're driving a piece of shit people.
23:01Leave that.
23:01Fucking shit car.
23:09Sorry about your mum's memorial.
23:12Why?
23:13You didn't drive over it with the Komatsu?
23:15Yeah.
23:17Is that why you didn't tell me Barrow Creek was your hometown,
23:20because of your mum and putting a crocodile in that gentleman's car?
23:25Yeah, because this town is full of shit-cunts like the Daryls,
23:28who just do whatever the fuck they want.
23:30Sometimes I think the only form of justice they understand is croc justice.
23:34Oh, well, we can do away with the courts, then.
23:36Hang on, shut up.
23:36Where'd you get these?
23:37Uh, um, a journo sent them to me.
23:39They were on the boat.
23:41They're the one that vomited on the passenger's sandals.
23:43They beeped it to my phone.
23:45There was a beeping sound.
23:47That's not a croc bite.
23:48What?
23:49Crocs teeth don't cut like that.
23:50They just thrash you around till you're in chunks so they can swallow you.
23:55That's been chopped off.
24:02Fuck!
24:03It's a fucking homicide!
24:06Well, that's fucking great, isn't it?
24:08Now we're looking for a missing person and a fucking killer.
24:12Fuck.
24:12We?
24:18Yeah.
24:20Yeah, fuck this town.
24:21Fuck, fuck a lot of them.
24:22I'm like herpes.
24:23I can leave when I fucking want.
24:24So that, that, that's a, that's a yes.
24:26Yes, yes, fucking yes.
24:27Yes, you are going to say yes, yes, yes, yes.
24:29Oh, great.
24:30I'll call the superintendent first thing in the morning and we'll get the proper permissions.
24:34Suck job.
24:35Well, that's just standard procedure, Eddie.
24:37You're such a cop, man.
24:38You're a cop too.
24:39Yeah, but I'm like a cool cop.
24:41So you are still sleeping in the camper with us tonight?
24:44Yeah, of course.
24:45Sleeping in my nook.
24:46That's where my bag of handies is.
24:49Yes.
25:07You get that for dinner.
25:10What?
25:10I don't know.
25:10You're a waffle?
25:11No.
25:12Aunty Mary gave us ice cream because mum was coming up a dead crocodile.
25:15Hello.
25:15What?
25:16What?
25:17Did you say a crocodile?
25:18Yeah, a big one.
25:19What's your mum do for a job?
25:21She a butcher?
25:21She's a ranger.
25:23She got me the snissing shirt.
25:24Oh, that is a very good shirt.
25:27What's that?
25:28That drawing on the billboard?
25:29Um, that, that's a rocket that is taking off into the sky.
25:35Did your mum say if she found anything else in that croc?
25:37Yeah.
25:39Oh, what was it?
25:41Hey, kid, what was inside the crocodile?
25:50Palin.
25:52Palin.
25:53Oh, good.
25:53You can help me.
25:54Curse up the instructions for how to disconnect the sewer hose back there in German.
25:57Ow.
25:59Where'd you get that?
26:00This.
26:01It's my steed.
26:01It's a rental.
26:02Cost me a bomb.
26:03Okay, well, um, I spoke to the superintendent.
26:07Forensics called this morning and they confirmed that the arm belongs to a male.
26:10I still think the tattoo is of legs, maybe bird's legs, because they bend backwards.
26:14Blunt is off on a new lead.
26:16Apparently, Astrid and Ebba interacted with a man at the Dirks River service station,
26:20and they're trying to locate him now.
26:22So, we have been given the green light to investigate.
26:24Good.
26:24I reckon the murderer fed the John Doe to their pet croc.
26:26So, we just need to disconnect this thing, and if it doesn't spray effluent everywhere, we can go.
26:32Sorry, did you say pet croc?
26:33Yeah.
26:33Morning.
26:34Morning.
26:35It's hot up here.
26:36Is it?
26:36Yeah, steaming in a Bangkok laundromat.
26:40Yeah, good on you.
26:41Yeah, the croc from yesterday had no more body parts in it.
26:45Its guts were just filled with chickens.
26:47100% chickens.
26:48The point is, with a diet like that, the dead croc is probably someone's pet.
26:51What?
26:52Who would keep a crocodile as a pet?
26:54Heaps of people up here do.
26:55I know, two in Barrick Creek.
26:56To what end?
26:57What do you do with a pet crocodile?
26:58You teach it to heal.
26:59Morning.
27:00Morning.
27:00Gosh, it's hot.
27:02Oh, yeah.
27:02It's standing a dumpling in my couch.
27:04I reckon that the killer has fed the arm of the John Doe to their pet croc, but then
27:09the croc has choked on it and capped it, and so the killer's just dumped him in the river.
27:12So, I'm going to check on the two pet crocs, see if one is missing, if I can identify the
27:16croc from the river, then we find our killer.
27:20No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
27:22no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
27:22No, that is not our priority, Eddie.
27:23Forget about the croc.
27:24We need to ID our victim.
27:26And what about the sewer pump, Eddie?
27:27That is a two-person job.
27:30Morning.
27:30Yes, it's hot.
27:31Sorry, you.
27:32Sorry.
27:32I saved that coat of arms for you.
27:34Sorry, my what?
27:35Your house special from last night.
27:36The one you didn't eat.
27:37Oh.
27:38We named it the coat of arms because it ruined the emu sausages.
28:03Oh, sorry.
28:04I haven't.
28:05Hey, oh, sorry.
28:07Someone's still in here and that's accidentally locked.
28:10Hello?
28:13Oh, my God.
28:44All right, how's it all going?
28:46Welcome to the 11 a.m. crocodile feeding experience.
28:49As you know from your socials, I am DJ Darrell, hashtag the Crocodile God.
28:54And our pet king is in that pool behind me, was caught by my dad, Don.
28:58He's the largest croc ever recorded in Australia.
29:01He sucks shit land of crocs.
29:02Size does matter.
29:06All right, let's give him some food.
29:08Yeah, clap your hands, that's it.
29:10Bring out the beast.
29:12Hey.
29:13All right, there we go.
29:15Come on, clap louder.
29:16King only comes when you clap.
29:18Oh, there he is.
29:20King of the river.
29:22So who's he is, wants to chuck the croc?
29:24Oh, I don't think.
29:27Where are your names?
29:33All right, he's done yet.
29:34Sorry, you knew that I was in here.
29:36I'm shutting up.
29:37Got to get to the docks.
29:39I've got piss in my blood.
29:40All right.
29:40Wait, just one second.
29:42Sorry, do you know any of these men?
29:43Yeah, of course I bloody know them.
29:45Ouch.
29:45Could you tell me their names or where I might find them?
29:48Oh, Christ.
29:50As Barry is in a nursing home, that Don bastard's still around,
29:53Trevor Stutzbury died a couple of years ago,
29:56Frank McCullis is in jail, and that one is dead, probably.
30:00Probably.
30:00No, he went missing, didn't he?
30:01Do you remember his name?
30:03I don't bloody know.
30:04He was in the papers, wasn't he?
30:06Was he?
30:06Why?
30:07Because he went bloody missing.
30:08Right, I've had enough of your questions.
30:10Out.
30:10What?
30:11Out.
30:12No, I don't have my shoes, please.
30:19He went missing.
30:22Lloyd.
30:23Sorry?
30:23The bloke in the photo.
30:25Lloyd Reynolds was his name.
30:26Christ, keep up, girl.
30:38Colin!
30:38Eddie, I think I know who the arm belongs to.
30:40What?
30:41It's Lloyd Reynolds, the dead skitty guy for the petrol station.
30:44I'm headed there now to try to, like, see him.
30:45Back off, you hovercats!
30:47And then I'll come and get you!
30:48Yeah, cool, I'm not listening.
30:50Hey, the Daryl's Pedcroft King is still alive.
30:52So I've got one more place to check out.
30:53Collins?
30:54Collins?
30:57Back off!
30:59Yeah, it's a promotion.
31:02I have to mention the promotion,
31:04and two packs of fruity juice for $2 is a good deal.
31:06So are you sure you don't want it?
31:07So sure.
31:08I'm really sure.
31:09Well, I can't give you the sign-up sheet
31:11because the competition is closed.
31:13Yeah, I don't want to enter the competition.
31:14I just want to confirm the identity of one of their entrants.
31:17I think you might be a missing person.
31:22Oh, my God.
31:25Ah!
31:26Thank you, Alira.
31:29Are you sure you don't want two packs of fruity juice for $2?
31:32I'm so sure.
31:33This man here, Lloyd Reynolds,
31:35is there any chance that you remember him?
31:36Yeah, I remember him
31:37because the bank told me to cut up his credit card.
31:39Right, and this is his phone number here, is it?
31:41Yeah, 48 times in a row.
31:43Okay, okay, and that was Lloyd on the end there, yes?
31:46No.
31:47You've reached the Barracreek pub home of the Baymast Daycake.
31:49For bookings, press 1.
31:51Is this about the Swedish backpackers,
31:53Elsa and Aspirin, or whatever?
31:55Because I already told those detectives this morning
31:56about them and that Lloyd bloke.
31:58Wait, Lloyd Reynolds is the man the backpackers were seen with?
32:01Yes.
32:02They paid for their noodles
32:03and his mobility scooter
32:05and two packs of fruity juice for $2.
32:08Are you sure you don't want that?
32:09I don't want it!
32:10I don't want it!
32:12Okay.
32:12I think they felt sorry for him
32:13because he was old
32:14and I cut up his credit card.
32:16Right, and did they leave with him?
32:17No, they went in different directions.
32:19He went to Barracreek
32:20and they went off to Crossley's Crossing.
32:21Right, thank you so much.
32:23Hang on a sec.
32:24That's Lloyd there.
32:28No, but that's...
32:30Frank McAllister.
32:32Prizes include
32:34crop boaching,
32:35drink driving,
32:36identity fraud
32:37and petty theft.
32:39Is that him there?
32:41Yes.
32:42Yep.
32:45He's in prison.
32:47How is Frank McAllister
32:49committing identity fraud
32:50at a servo in Dierks River
32:52if he's in prison?
32:56Could he have been released early?
33:04He was released four days ago.
33:06Right, okay, great.
33:06Can I grab an address, please?
33:08You seen the chat?
33:09Fucking funny.
33:10I'll get done for that.
33:12Yeah.
33:13See you later.
33:16The address.
33:44I'll get you straight along Nicky's Knob Road
33:46for one and a half kilometers
33:47and your destination
33:48will be on the rise.
34:01Lovely.
34:27Thank you, that song was called Red Flag.
34:29Thank you, that song was called Red Flag.
34:29It was about my ex.
34:30And this next one's called Dead Love.
34:32It's about my ex.
34:34No!
34:35Who the fuck refeeded our billboard?
34:36Where's Spud?
34:37Where is he?
34:38Amber, we don't want any trouble.
34:40The pool table is still spongy
34:41from the water damage
34:42last time you guys went at it.
34:43What?
34:44Spud!
34:44Did you do that?
34:46What the fuck's this?
34:47Is that your cock and balls
34:48on my dad's face?
34:50Nope.
34:51Don't know nothing
34:52about no cock and balls.
34:59Always said your old man
35:00was a massive cocksucker, though.
35:02My dad is not gay.
35:04No one in our family is gay.
35:05Respect my dad.
35:06He's the king of the river.
35:13Hello?
35:15Mr. McAllister?
35:19Is anybody there?
35:31Hello?
35:35Hello?
35:42Hello?
35:59Oh, Christ, Eddie.
36:02Oh, God.
36:03My heart is bloody
36:03Michael Flatley right now.
36:05What are you doing here?
36:07He's dead.
36:08Yeah.
36:10Yeah, I think he is, too.
36:12What the cheeky fucker?
36:15Oh, no.
36:16God, Eddie, I didn't...
36:17Oh, I didn't realise he knew him.
36:20We grew up together.
36:21He was a bloody good listener.
36:27We used to have baths together.
36:31We had the most beautiful
36:34piss-yellow eyes.
36:35I bet him a chook every morning.
36:39Sorry.
36:40Who are you talking about?
36:42Triple pet.
36:43The best croc in the territory.
36:45He's not in his cage.
36:46He must admit he was dead in the river.
36:48Right.
36:48What?
36:49Who are you talking about?
36:50Oh, the man who lived here,
36:52Frank McAllister.
36:53I think his arm was in
36:54the triple pet.
36:58No.
36:59No, that's not possible.
37:00Well, he was released
37:01from prison a few days ago.
37:02I think someone
37:03might have killed him
37:04when he arrived back here.
37:09Eddie, you okay?
37:12Oh, fuck, get down, get down!
37:14Get off my fucking property,
37:16you fucking slant!
37:18Fuck my ring, don't shoot!
37:19No, I'm bloody well!
37:21Oh, fuck up, mate!
37:23Eddie, stay down!
37:23No, no, he's not gonna shoot us.
37:26He's my fucking dad!
37:33Your dad is Frank McAllister.
37:35Yeah, well, that's one of his fucking names.
37:38And he's not dead.
37:39Yeah, he's fucking dead to me!
37:40You're fucking dead to me, Adwinder!
37:45Get that dicker!
37:46Fellas, DJ!
37:47Fucking leave it!
37:48Get that dicker, boy!
37:49It's off my dad's back!
37:51You crap fucker!
37:52Come through, DJ!
37:53He's going to the shit, dude!
37:54Oh, he's back up with the jitty.
37:55The devil's kicking off again.
37:56Oh, no, Hoseley,
37:57it's not him!
37:59Just tell me,
38:00and don't miss out my back,
38:01did you feed
38:02one of your mates
38:03to triple pet
38:04and dump him in a river?
38:05No, I didn't dump
38:06triple pet in a river.
38:07Somebody stole him, didn't I?
38:08Oh, stop!
38:09It's convenient, isn't it?
38:10You shat your hole!
38:11You shat your hole!
38:12The croc's a son I never had!
38:14That was my brother!
38:15No!
38:15My fucking croc brother!
38:16Just butt him your holes!
38:18Frank,
38:19if you're not dead,
38:21then whose arm
38:22was in the crocodile?
38:23Who else has your tattoo?
38:24Frank!
38:25I've been listening to my scanner
38:26by the fucking Pidgey!
38:28Yeah, I can say that!
38:30No, not any...
38:31Dem!
38:33What the fuck?
38:34What the fuck's going on, Coles?
38:35I have no idea!
38:36You're wanted in relation
38:37to the abduction
38:38of Ever-Hurling
38:38and Astrid-Alberg.
38:39We know you're talking
38:40from the Dirk River
38:41petrol station, Frank.
38:42What the fuck?
38:42No!
38:43Detective,
38:43the cases aren't connected.
38:45The backpackers paid
38:46for his shopping
38:46and they went
38:47in separate directions.
38:49I knew you came back
38:50to stitch me out for you.
38:51I'd fucking stitch you up.
38:53Put your weapons down
38:54and put your hands up
38:55where we can see them now.
38:57Frank!
38:58Come on, Frank!
38:58What?
38:59Run!
38:59No, no, no, no!
39:01Don't you go down to that, Gene!
39:03Hey, old team's with me!
39:04Go around his way!
39:05We're 31!
39:05We're running off!
39:06Eddie!
39:08Frank, you need to answer
39:09my questions!
39:10Why haven't you
39:10triple pen?
39:11Stop!
39:11This is annoying, Eddie!
39:13No, I'm getting on!
39:13No, I'm getting on!
39:15You can't come on!
39:16Ziggy, see the boat!
39:17Just get on!
39:18Get on!
39:19Get on!
39:21Get on!
39:21Get on!
39:22We have you surrounded!
39:23No!
39:23We have you surrounded!
39:24We have you surrounded!
39:25Come on, Colin!
39:26Okay, fine,
39:27but a wheel vomit!
39:28Oh, man!
39:29There's a splash in order, Eddie!
39:30There's a big splash!
39:31Probably a fucking bull shark!
39:32Ah, let me see!
39:33There are bull sharks, too!
39:35Fucking faggot!
39:36Right, Jesus!
39:37Get it away!
39:38Ah!
39:39Get off the table!
39:39Everyone get on the boat!
39:41Nobody get on the boat!
39:43I told you what!
39:43I told you to fuck off!
39:44Now your dad can suck my dick!
39:46Come on, mate!
39:47Eddie!
39:48Get out!
39:48Can everyone just shush it!
39:50There's something definitely
39:51in the water here!
39:52What the fuck is that?
39:55Come on!
39:56And shut the fuck up!
39:59Troy!
40:00Paul!
40:01Fucking flip it!
40:03Oh!
40:03My back!
40:08No!
40:11No!
40:13No!
40:13No!
40:14No!
40:14No!