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00:16People sometimes ask me,
00:18Do sportsmen make good politicians?
00:22I say yes.
00:24If you like your politicians brave, disciplined, strong in body, mentally agile,
00:30someone who knows how to truly commit, working night and day to make your life better.
00:35Someone who knows they're playing for the winning side, who was born to win and refuses to lose.
00:42So, you forgot?
00:43Not for a second.
00:45Half term break, you have until Wednesday.
00:46I've been looking for all time.
00:48Stop it!
00:48Your poker face is terrible.
00:49I'm more of a bridge man, I do like a foursome.
00:52Daddy!
00:54Hello, sweetheart!
00:58Hi, Marcus.
01:01Hi, Dash.
01:01The children's bags, the clothes are all labelled.
01:03There's a list in there if you could check them all off when they come back.
01:06Tabitha came home without a single sock last time.
01:11Hello.
01:17Hi, I'm Mrs. Gordon, the children's mother.
01:19Uh, yeah, uh, Helen, this is Cameron.
01:22I've heard so much about you.
01:25Philadelphia, right?
01:26Yes, ma'am.
01:27Well, New York by way of Philly.
01:28You?
01:29Florida.
01:29Hmm.
01:31And hi, you must be Tabitha.
01:34Obviously.
01:35Who are you?
01:38Um, I'm your, uh, your father's girlfriend.
01:41You bloody not!
01:48Okay, I'm gonna leave you to deal with that.
01:50I'm late for my plane.
01:52My husband is waiting.
01:53Where are you going?
01:53Venice.
01:54Oh!
01:55Baby, we should go to Venice.
01:57Wasted on Rupert, I'm afraid.
01:58Okay, kiss the children for me.
02:00I'll see them.
02:01Wednesday.
02:02Wednesday.
02:02Right.
02:03I'm sorry, I didn't know that they didn't know about me.
02:06Enjoy Venice!
02:08Don't fall in!
02:18Tabitha!
02:18Come and meet Cameron properly!
02:27Hmm, told you you should order the beef.
02:29Luigi's is legendary.
02:30No, I'm not really enjoying red meat at the moment.
02:32Ah!
02:33Monica couldn't eat eggs for nine months.
02:34Couldn't see them in the pantry without feeling nauseous.
02:36Hmm.
02:40So, explain to me how it's mine.
02:43Do you remember the day I joined Carinium?
02:45Celebration dinner at the Bear in Bisley.
02:48Two courses.
02:49Me for pudding.
02:50Forgive me, I'm not the only suspect.
02:52James and I didn't start until Miss Carinium.
02:54You knew of a husband?
02:55No.
02:55Paul lost his libido the same time as his cabinet seat.
02:58Not something, um, you'd ever have trouble with, I imagine.
03:04You're feeling a bit pushed out since BT came on board at Carinium, am I right?
03:08You're also aware that Cameron's out.
03:10You're wondering if a little power move like this might move you into the position she vacated.
03:17Queen of Carinium.
03:18Sad to say, Sarah, we're not inviting applications at present.
03:21Nor are we looking for an illegitimate heir to the throne.
03:25Get rid of it.
03:26I know a very good chap in Harley Street had this sorted out in no time.
03:29A termination.
03:30No.
03:32Not a nice word.
03:34Better to think of it as a cleansing of your soul.
03:38Be a shame if this were to hang over your blossoming career.
03:42It would hang over you too though, wouldn't it?
03:45And Monica.
03:46Oh.
03:53Eminently deniable.
03:56Unless that's the pearl pops out with a cigar in its mouth, you don't have to prove it's mine.
03:59Here you go.
04:00Mm.
04:04Bon appetit.
04:06Mm.
04:07God, it's good.
04:08Mm.
04:11Try the beef.
04:18Come on.
04:26Don't try to play chess with me, Sarah.
04:27You're not clever enough.
04:29We both want rid of this problem, so you sort it out as quick as you possibly can.
04:33Good girl.
04:41Rupert's all over bloody everything.
04:43They've shown his party political broadcast five times this week.
04:45He's been on Breakfast Time and TV AM.
04:47Both channels.
04:48Both channels.
04:51Meanwhile, I can't even get invited on Cotswold Roundup, a programme presented by my own wife.
04:56Thank you, darling.
04:58So, listen, I've made some calls, and we're going to have a dinner party on Tuesday.
05:02See if we can't turn some local goodwill into actual television coverage.
05:06Show to anybody, huh?
05:07We mean business.
05:09Dinner party here?
05:11Do you know, Winifred always used to throw me dinner parties in the run-up to an election.
05:19And I never had to suggest it myself.
05:21Oh!
05:22Good for Winifred.
05:26Yes.
05:28Perhaps you should start thinking about what to cook.
05:30want something.
05:34Let's do it.
05:35Yes.
06:00Yes, is It for a show.
06:02You're too good to those birds.
06:04I like how busy they are.
06:06Work so hard at surviving.
06:07Morning.
06:09Aubergine's.
06:09From the market, as requested.
06:12Aubergine's in the Cotswolds.
06:13Vice was in London last night.
06:15I've got to make six, um...
06:17What's that again?
06:18Moussaka.
06:19Moussaka for the Women's Institute AGM.
06:21And I spell one for your lunch.
06:22Can't wear it.
06:23Draw the hand.
06:24I'm a decent sous chef.
06:26Okay.
06:27Morning, all.
06:28Good morning.
06:30The boss lady's here.
06:37Morning.
06:38You must be Marcus.
06:40Hello.
06:40Which makes you...
06:42Tabitha.
06:43And you're Declan O'Hara from the telly.
06:45Declan O'Telly, that's right.
06:46This is all looking great.
06:48It is, but Charles called me this morning.
06:51Turns out Carinium are also developing a series of Shakespeare plays for the school's market.
06:55Do you know about this?
06:56It's another thing from our application document, isn't it?
07:21Oh, here.
07:26There you go.
07:27Oh, fuck!
07:28i'm sweating carbs here who is this person oh good morning venture television shelly speaking
07:35well we said we needed the secretary she prefers executive assistant declin bbc for you
07:47declin o'hara hello jeremy hi bas oh hello munchkin oh how about you is there any food
07:56lovely camera made breakfast but it was disgusting which is your desk why the only character in my
08:02life i want to know everything about you we'll put you over here cameron this is the driving seat
08:07why don't you go into the kitchen and find taggy she'll get you a snack go on let's do that
08:12i
08:13scribbled some eggs how was that disgusting will do jeremy thank you so our yates documentary is now
08:21officially in development oh honey teresa you were pronouncing it yeets so what happens now take a
08:30trip over to ireland scout out some locations we don't need to shoot in ireland we've got landscape
08:34coming out of our ears in ruttshire with all due respect cameron says the man about to say something
08:40disrespectful fucking ruttshire it looks nothing like ireland and it's ignorant to even suggest that
08:44we would have we should be trying to film wherever's least expensive i don't want the maths club running
08:48the drama group all right oh hello children uh there's nobody in the kitchen okay uh take a
08:56seat and we'll we'll find you some cookies or something huh shelley you don't want the math
09:02club running the drama group i don't want the drama group being irresponsible with venturer's program
09:06budget budget oh my god you little shit oh come on the timing was good
09:17camera invasicated oh i can smell it thank you i'm just gonna speak to her
09:29hey why don't you take it with you show the landscape make her fall in love with the place
09:38you want me to take cameron to ireland why am i suspicious
09:44i can really use a few days alone with the kids
09:48try and talk to them about this new relationship help me out here
09:57yeah yeah
10:04taggy taggy i've got your
10:09dish
10:13hello freddie
10:17you've been okay
10:23not great
10:25no me neither
10:27bloody coffees so hello lizzie sorry snatching a moment didn't mean to interrupt oh no don't
10:33worry i don't know why muggins here has been left to make the coffee while shelley sat on her
10:37ass with her chin of family circle i always prefer to sit in the biscuits yes same
10:45how many times have you shagged now once and never again sure not i'd imagine mr jones is a
10:54very considerate lover i'm married yes to james verica we can't all just do what we want rupert
11:00the rules are there to stop people getting hurt that's why most of us try to stick to them
11:04i came to give this back to taggy
11:07we were all quite surprised when you moved cameron into pensacom court
11:11well i hope it's working out
11:23beaver
11:25fetch i'll only be a few days in ireland
11:28honestly how is he my son with an underarm like that
11:33you won't do anything silly will you tony comes prowling around he's in with a show jumping trophy
11:39if he had anything on us he'd have used it by now look i said i would be here to
11:43look after you
11:44and i will i think you like that you rescued me what happens when i don't need taken care of
11:49anymore
11:49yeah i might have rescued you the first time but the second time you rescued yourself and i like that
11:53very much well i guess tabitha's not coming to say goodbye look i know she's been a little toad
12:02i've never had a woman here at the same time as the children whatever else i've done i've stuck to
12:06that so of course she's rattled by meeting you it's your own bloody fault for making me adore you
12:11enough to break the rules you know what i'm gonna miss you
12:21and i'll miss you too blue bye marcus do you think she'll come back why wouldn't she
12:55you lost oh sorry you're upset i'm taggy i live in the house down there
13:05i like your purple skirt i always wanted one but my knees are too knobbly
13:11hey this is curtry she's a good listener tell her all my problems her voice isn't very good
13:16though she mainly just whiffs and girls you think you can tell her what's wrong daddy doesn't love me
13:24anymore there you are
13:32um darling what what did i tell you about running away this is taggy daddy she lives down there yeah
13:37we've uh we've met can you come to tea daddy please please oh um yeah come and have some tea
13:46why not
13:47um i've i've got to get home but another day okay
13:52come on pup
13:56okay home time
13:59i don't think she likes you daddy
14:09good morning russia what a beautiful sunny morning it is too with the general election
14:14only days away this morning we'll be asking if russia will stay as conservative as ever
14:19or if local mps woofer campbell black for chalford and bisley and paul stratton for
14:24conchester should be watching their backs for a potential liberal landslide
14:35and here is the kitchen where you'll be making all the magic happen
14:40cooker fridge here pantry a walk-in cupboard there that's where paul keeps all the wine and whatnot
14:45um you're happy with the recipe it's just i know that reading's a struggle for you isn't it with
14:49your dyslexia oh i'm fine i've got everything thank you for writing out so big i know beef it's a
14:57bit
14:57much isn't it for a summer dinner party but well it's his favorite of my husband's favorite i mean
15:03and with the election and pulling all the tv coverage you can get oh of course and you don't
15:07mind staying in the kitchen tonight do you it's just it's a bit awkward you being venturer oh daddy
15:13doesn't know but he can't really complain we need the money oh well just don't go poisoning all
15:17of carinium in my dining room seriously though you really mustn't let anyone see you oh okay i've
15:24rather given the impression that i'm doing the cooking tonight so i really need everything to be
15:28perfect right okay well i'm gonna go to the hairdressers um don't answer the door but if somebody
15:36calls just pretend to be the daily okay oh sure um what if anyone sees me in the kitchen tonight
15:47i'm stuck into the pantry
15:53this afternoon the mp for chalford and bisley was in stroud with his children to open the
15:57newest branch of waitrose armed with a very large pair of scissors and three two one yay
16:05delighted to drop in on our walk around stroud waitrose is absolutely the best place to pick up a
16:09nice hunk of cotswold bloom
16:16no no no no no no no god no you idiot
16:34uh hello mrs stratton bishop and thank you very much that's the worst rupture accent i've ever heard
16:40sarah is rupert it's it's not sarah is that taggy sarah said to pretend to be a daily um i'm
16:49actually
16:49after paul um is he there it's party business
16:56darling what is it i'm making mr stratton's favorite beef from the white elephant in pain's
17:00week only i've just dropped all the salt on it and now it's ruined oh angel well can you make
17:05it
17:05again no it's too late the butcher shuts up for god ruined everything all right leave it with me uh
17:12you get on with the starter and i'll be there in an hour no you don't have to do that
17:18but there's an awful lot to do sorry gerald i'm rescuing a constituent
17:22give me that my money you can't have it it's free parking not three pounds
17:32you
17:42burn it like a silver flame
18:12Are you nearly done? They're sitting down. Well, some of them. Nearly, nearly.
18:23Gorgeous canapes, Sarah. Thanks so much. I love those. Taggy O'Hara makes them. Yes. Yes, I asked for the
18:33recipe. What are you cooking us? I'm cooking Luigi's famous beef dobe. I had to almost sleep with him to
18:39get the recipe. But that's Tony's favourite. I can't wait to tell him. Can I do anything?
18:44Yes. Will you tell the men to bloody well sit down? God, it's like herding cats, isn't it? Where's your
18:50glass, Lizzie? Put it down again.
18:56Sarah? Sorry, did I make you jump? I'm so sorry for bringing your nemesis. Mother's not well tonight. BT overheard
19:03me on the phone and insisted she come along with me instead. I couldn't stop her.
19:07Don't worry. I put her next to James. Oh, actually, you can take this in for me. I need no
19:14second bidding.
19:23Now, can I take these? Are these ready to go? Oh, I'm not really ready. Well, they look ready. Actually,
19:27yes, they're ready. Sorry.
19:29Wow. And just remind me again, what are these? It's trout mousse with a cucumber salad and Melba toast.
19:35And did it take me long to make it? Not really, because we're very good at cooking.
19:44Beef dobe for eight, direct from Luigi at the White Elephant. Oh, my goodness. You're a lifesaver. Thank you.
19:49Oh, look, it's the same dish. Do you mind?
19:55Does your father know you're cooking for the enemy? This is the strangest job I have.
20:00It's the rack. Quick.
20:02Really?
20:06I knew Sarah wasn't cooking. Oh, my God, please don't say anything. I'll be in such trouble.
20:09Oh, word. I said I was going to the loo.
20:11Why don't you use the upstairs one? Well, I don't use the loo. That's okay.
20:15Okay.
20:18What are the herbs on top? Monica's asking. Oh, and Dil.
20:21Dil. Dil?
20:22Um, Paul wants horseradish.
20:24Oh, Sarah. No, no, no, no, no.
20:28What the hell are you doing here?
20:29I just popped round to see Taggy.
20:32Sarah.
20:32Wait.
20:36I have to speak to you.
20:37I'm hosting a dinner party, James.
20:39It can't wait.
20:39I'm sure it can.
20:40I am going crackers. Apparently, you are pregnant.
20:45Where did you hear that?
20:46Deidre told me at work.
20:47Is it true? Is it mine?
20:49No. I'm getting rid of it, all right?
20:51Just, please, don't say anything.
20:53Sarah!
20:54Sarah, you're in the kitchen.
20:56I'm not getting rid of it.
20:58I'm fine.
21:03Everything all right, darling?
21:04Yes.
21:04Why?
21:05Well, I don't know.
21:05You seem a bit...
21:06Well, so do you.
21:08This is terribly important.
21:09I know.
21:10My insides are not right at all.
21:12Oh, it's probably just nerves.
21:14Go upstairs and speak some of that pecto-bismol.
21:16Yeah, it's all right.
21:17Oh.
21:18Oh.
21:19Oh.
21:21Someone was in the other loo, so I went upstairs.
21:23Oh, no problem.
21:24Very good.
21:25Go and sit down.
21:27Have a drink.
21:28Another drink.
21:39Get back in there before Lizzie sees your god.
21:40God, Sarah, I can't tell you the relief.
21:47It's not mine, is it?
21:48No.
21:48Fuck off.
21:49Get me the horseradish.
21:50Middle shelf.
21:50All right.
21:51I don't know what the horseradish is.
21:52Let me.
21:53Oh, sorry.
21:54Oh, just a second.
21:55Oh, God.
21:58What does a girl have to do to get a proper drink around here?
22:01Murder a scotch.
22:03Are we alone?
22:04Looks like it.
22:06Our plan is coming together deliciously.
22:09I genuinely think it might lose a particular unlovely person their particularly lovely job.
22:13Beautiful music to my ears.
22:15Hmm.
22:15You just need to keep a certain person out of my way.
22:21Oh.
22:22Hello, you two.
22:24Talking shop again, are we?
22:25We really are the most attentive host.
22:27Every time I turn around, there you are.
22:28Well, actually, I was just popping in for this cheeky little burgundy to go with the beef.
22:33What do you say, Tony?
22:33Shall we, uh, rip the liquors off?
22:35Oh, God.
22:35Absolutely.
22:36Excuse me.
22:36I mustn't leave Monica.
22:38Oh, did I mention what a wonderful job you're doing on the election campaigns?
22:41Sarah has learned so much from you.
22:43Well, she had a great deal to learn.
22:46Indeed.
22:46Very good.
22:52Right.
22:53This is my very important dinner party, all right?
22:56So I have to go back in there because people are going to start asking where I am.
22:59Please, get the main course ready and try not to do anything more to fuck up my night.
23:03Fine.
23:04Oh, Jesus.
23:05Okay.
23:07What can I do?
23:08Can you take this one with you?
23:12Hide the evidence.
23:13Of course.
23:14And this is definitely the salty one.
23:15Yes.
23:15Thank you so much for tonight.
23:18Wish I could pay you back.
23:20I mean, return the favour.
23:25Well, actually, there is one thing you could help me with.
23:29Oh, yeah?
23:30One to have escaped from cold eggs.
23:31This is just you.
23:33Has Tony said anything to you?
23:35About what?
23:36The entire purpose of this evening.
23:37Getting my face on Coridium television.
23:40No.
23:40But he can't last you're still in here, can he?
23:43Oh, do me a favour.
23:44Crack open another bottle of red.
23:45Liz is really ploughing through it.
23:47Yeah, roger, both of you.
23:50All aboard.
23:58Oh, God, she took it.
24:00What do we do?
24:00Oh, God.
24:01You'll have to go in there.
24:02I can't go in there.
24:03I really can't go in there.
24:04Watch it.
24:05It's the wrong beef.
24:07What?
24:07You'll regret it if you argue, darling.
24:09Just run and get the beef.
24:20What the hell is going on?
24:22Everyone in there thinks I'm Batty.
24:23Just say you forgot to garnish it.
24:25Sarah!
24:30Is everything all right, Tom?
24:33Sarah?
24:34What is the daughter of Tony Battingham's greatest enemy doing in our kitchen?
24:38Oh, please, God, don't tell me she cooked the dinner.
24:42It's no good.
24:44It's no good.
24:45I'm never going to be able to cook like Winifred.
24:47Darling, I just wanted your night to be perfect, so I got Taggy to come and help me.
24:51I've been in the pantry.
24:52Sarah's done most of it.
24:54You want to find out, Paulie?
24:56Come on, nobody's seen her.
24:58As long as there's absolutely no chance of Tony finding out.
25:01Absolutely none.
25:03No.
25:04Come on, darling, why don't you go back in there and top up everyone's wine?
25:08Could have been worse, you know.
25:09Could have been Rupert Campbell's fuckface in this kitchen.
25:17I'm so sorry, but the rule of wheat you cooked this one.
25:19It's really good.
25:22Yes, so I hear.
25:25Good luck in there.
25:27Come on, don't.
25:27Out.
25:29What the hell are you going at?
25:30What?
25:31It's going around the whole party.
25:32Apparently you've got a secret.
25:33If I hear so much as a whisperer, then...
25:35I haven't told anyone.
25:36I can't help it if you have.
25:37Sarah!
25:39Get him.
25:40Get him.
25:42Darling!
25:43I can't seem to get Tony on his own.
25:45Now I'm chatting up B.T. Johnson,
25:47only I may have done too much.
25:48I may have made her think that I'm up for a clinch in the cloak.
25:50God, no, I'm still looking for this.
25:52Oh, God.
25:53Hide me, hide me, hide me.
25:54What?
25:54The truth of the monster.
25:56The bugger all on the sideboard in the wine pantry.
25:59Wine pantry?
26:00Aren't we posh?
26:01Oh, no, no.
26:06Tony.
26:07Paul.
26:10So, listen, while I've got you,
26:11um, I wonder if you might see fit to, uh,
26:14get me on the Cosworth Roundup sofa this week, hmm?
26:16My final push before the election, you know?
26:19Win it for the blues.
26:21No, yes, no, no, no, I'm not sure why I do that, I'm sure I'm going to make that happen.
26:26Wavulous.
26:27Thank you so much.
26:35Ah, oh, there you are, and you found Tony.
26:39Good, good.
26:41Darling, Petey wants a scotch, so would you take that in for me?
26:44My joiner in one, actually.
26:46Tony.
26:50I'm seeing the Harley Street doctor next week, right?
26:52So what's all this about secrets?
26:57I didn't cook this, right?
27:00It's not about the baby.
27:01Listen to me, you get yourself unpregnated as quickly as possible, or no more dinner parties.
27:06Huh?
27:06No more uncensored, you got it?
27:08You are off the show until you sort yourself out.
27:45Oh, sorry about that.
27:56Oh, I do love it.
27:58Oh, but Taggy O'Hara cooked the whole thing, and Sarah had her hiding in the kitchen all night.
28:03No, you're joking.
28:05Oh, there's Gerald.
28:06Don't forget to vote tomorrow.
28:08Rupert Campbell back.
28:08Derry.
28:10Hello.
28:11Hello.
28:12Beautiful day, Forrest.
28:13Hello, Georgie.
28:15Girl, I want you a beauty.
28:18Does Tony know you're fraternising with the enemy, Monica?
28:21Oh, we've all known each other far too long for any of that silliness.
28:24You, me, and Hermione were spiking the punch at the Junior Hunt board before any of us even
28:28knew what a television franchise was.
28:31Muffy, your godmother was quite the firecracker, you know.
28:34Oh.
28:35Derry, darling.
28:35Do you want some help?
28:37Mummy, will you take David back?
28:38Of course.
28:39Can I have fun?
28:40Cheerio.
28:41Come on, David.
28:41Yes, give me some of those.
28:42Lovely to see her so happy.
28:44Do you know, I really never thought she'd find anyone.
28:47Rupert Campbell Black?
28:48Yes.
28:49Quite something, isn't she, your Muffy?
28:51She's a trooper.
28:53Must say there's something of a surprise, Polo.
28:56Yes, sorry.
28:58Um, you were away when it all happened.
29:00I mean, I didn't know you liked, um...
29:05Dogs and horses?
29:07Yes, exactly.
29:08Well, you know what it's like when you find you're a person.
29:11Suddenly everything about you makes sense.
29:16So you have to screw the corners down really tight.
29:18No.
29:20No.
29:22Then you have to leave it for several weeks.
29:24Weeks.
29:24Teachers your patience, don't it?
29:26Done it with my brownies a few times.
29:28They love it.
29:28Do you go to brownies, Tab?
29:30You only go to brownies if you haven't got a pony.
29:34Oh, we can use them to decorate cards once they're pressed,
29:36like these ones I made.
29:38What's Taggy short for?
29:39Agatha.
29:40Isn't that awful?
29:41Tabitha's so much nicer.
29:42I don't like it if people call me Tabby at school.
29:44Sounds like a cat.
29:46Well, my parents call me Tag, which sounds a lot like Tab.
29:48If Mark has shouted Tab, we both go charging into the room
29:51and bump into each other in the doorway.
29:56If you come to Warwickshire, you can see Biscuit, my new pony.
29:59Oh, I'd love that.
30:00Tab.
30:01Here we are.
30:04Daddy, could Taggy come back to Warwickshire with us tonight
30:06and see Biscuit?
30:07See Biscuit?
30:08That's another one entirely.
30:09Please, Daddy.
30:10She can come and get burgers with us on the way.
30:12Oh, I said I'd give Mrs. Emma left times.
30:13By a walk.
30:15It's not far.
30:16You go see the pony.
30:19Lunch?
30:22Yes!
30:23Yes!
30:24I can't wait for you to eat Biscuit.
30:26Come on!
30:27Okay, okay, okay.
30:27Come on, come on.
30:28What Tabitha says goes.
30:30Last one to the car is a filthy rascal!
30:32Go, go, go, go, go!
30:43Oh, no!
30:43Table 11 are ready for drinks, don't they?
30:48Oh, no!
30:52A little quick check on 12.
30:53Good.
30:54Yeah.
30:56Broad and house down.
30:59Everything good, Mr. Campbell Black?
31:00Perfect.
31:01I'll have another, please.
31:02I can.
31:03And the pudding menu.
31:04Coming up.
31:05You can have pudding if Cameron's not here.
31:07Horrid Cameron thinks fruit salad is a pudding.
31:10Yuck.
31:10Oh, Cameron's not horrid.
31:12You know, when I first met her, I did think she was a bit scary.
31:15Even Daddy probably thought she was a bit scary.
31:18I was terrified.
31:20If Cameron and Dad got married, she'd be our stepmother.
31:23I'm not calling her mother.
31:24You don't have to.
31:26Malise doesn't make you call him Dad, does he?
31:29You're so lucky, all these extra grown-ups you've got.
31:31Are you one of our grown-ups?
31:33I could be your grown-up friend if you like.
31:43Delicious as ever, Basil.
31:45You got the wine or the girl?
31:47You bet.
31:49And this is for you.
31:53It was.
31:55It was.
31:56You didn't realise you'd lifted the ban on super-villains?
31:59Closest place to Carinian for an off-campus cabal.
32:03Don't worry, I'd charge him double.
32:04I've been discussing all the programme ideas.
32:06You've pinched.
32:07Not pinching, I don't think.
32:08We have everything we need.
32:10Just spending time with the family, same as you.
32:12Oh, I'm not going to congratulate you.
32:14I had no idea you had three such beautiful children.
32:19Do have a good evening, won't you?
32:37Mr. Stratton, welcome back to Carinian.
32:40Good to see you.
32:42And can I just say, I'll definitely be voting for you tomorrow.
32:45That's very kind.
32:46Thank you, Doreen.
32:48Doreen.
32:49Of course, the weather forecast looks perfect for a stroll into town tomorrow,
32:53but don't forget to vote on the way to the ice cream van.
32:56And can I just say, from all of us here,
32:58and of course, we would say this to candidates from all the parties,
33:01that we wish you the very best of luck winning Cochester.
33:04Well, of course, I'm hoping to continue to serve the fine people of Cochester,
33:08but frankly, I'm already the luckiest man alive.
33:10And in fact, Sarah and I expect to be rather busy in the coming months.
33:14Oh, well, wonderful.
33:15Because we're having a baby.
33:24I'm sorry, what?
33:27We, uh, could be happier, actually.
33:30Of course, things have changed since I first became a father.
33:32I gather men change nappies now.
33:36Well, and how wonderful to hear it here first on Cotswold Roundup.
33:41Now, after the break, pie, cottage, shepherds, or just humble?
33:45Christ!
33:47Oh, how the bloody hell did he find out?
33:49I didn't tell him, I swear.
33:51So we don't know who it was, but we don't know what else they know.
33:56Oh, my God.
33:57I'm going to have to go through with it now.
34:04People have babies every day.
34:05You'll work it out.
34:08Go home and celebrate with your husband.
34:15It's uncensored tonight.
34:17Please, let me do the show.
34:19Please let me be brilliant and make it up to you.
34:20You're in no state.
34:21BT will do without your plan.
34:22No, but...
34:23We're not changing the show now.
34:25I told you you're off the show until you sort your little problem out.
34:28To my eyes, the problem has.
34:30If anything, it suddenly got rather bigger, hasn't it?
34:33Go on.
34:44We're going to do it tonight.
34:46Just as planned.
34:47Oh, yes.
34:48All guns blazing.
34:51Chin-chin.
34:58How did you find out?
34:59I saw Winifred pregnant a number of times, remember?
35:02I know the signs.
35:06So, were you planning on telling me at any point over the next six months,
35:08or were you just going to pop out shopping Monday and come here with the baby?
35:13How could you expose me like that?
35:15On live television, announcing it like it was part of your election campaign?
35:19I announced it because I think you might be under some pressure to get rid of it.
35:27I don't want you to.
35:30I heard Tony talking to you about a termination.
35:36Don't I get a say?
35:41It's my child, too.
35:49So selfish.
35:50I'm selfish.
35:51You were the one considering getting rid of it for the sake of your career.
35:54At least my career's going well.
35:55Do you know, a lot of women would be glad to have a baby with a father who's already been
35:59through it.
35:59Oh, yeah, I'm sure you were really invaluable.
36:02Did you trap Winifred?
36:03Hmm?
36:04Like you've trapped me.
36:06Unlike you, she wasn't constantly on the lookout for an escape.
36:08Well, I bet she's glad she got one in the end.
36:11If you disgusted her even half as much as you disgust me.
36:15God.
36:16Do you know, I'm done.
36:17I'm done.
36:20I hope you lose your seat to the monster raving loonies.
36:30Mama.
36:31Hey, sweetheart.
36:32Hey, Tab.
36:33Did you have a good time?
36:34Yes, we already did.
36:35Hi.
36:36Hi.
36:36Mommy, this is Peggy.
36:37Yes, we've met before.
36:39She's a babysitter and she is brilliant.
36:41I'm taking her to meet Biscuit.
36:42Come on.
36:43Oh, Marcus, you're coming?
36:47Babysitter.
36:48She's Declan O'Hara's daughter.
36:50There was a woman here this morning with a film crew.
36:53Carinium.
36:54You speak to them?
36:55No, of course not.
36:56I told her to get the hell off of my driveway.
36:58You should know there's some people sniffing around.
37:00It's the election, probably.
37:04How is Venice?
37:05Oh, cultural heaven.
37:07You want to see the photos?
37:10No, thank you.
37:16Oh, he's lovely, isn't he?
37:19He'll say hello for a polo.
37:20Look, do you want a polo biscuit?
37:23Biscuit!
37:25I think I'll say yes.
37:28Oh, Biscuit!
37:30Say hello to Taggy.
37:37Your children are very beautiful.
37:39Not surprising, I suppose, with such a beautiful mother.
37:42Is it agony when you see her now?
37:44Oh, agony.
37:44She brought the fucking tits on you.
37:46Can't think I've stayed married to her for seven years.
37:48How many of these puts up with it, I don't know.
37:49Well, he's much older, isn't he?
37:50Yeah.
37:51When he talks about the war, he means the Crimean.
37:55Well, how did you meet him?
37:58He was my chef to keep.
37:59Oh, a chef, like me.
38:02No, um...
38:02Why?
38:03Chef as in Bach's French.
38:04He ran the British showtopic team.
38:06Oh.
38:06Uh, I suppose he was my mentor, my Mr. Miyagi.
38:11Must have been hard to lose him to...
38:15The only thing that really irks me is that Millie's succeeded where I failed.
38:24I can't honestly say that I've ever made any woman happy.
38:29Not for very long.
38:37I'll babysit any time you like.
38:38I mean, I don't want to tread on Cameron's toes.
38:41Oh, God, I wish Cameron could handle the kids as well as you do.
38:45You're going to make an incredible mother one day.
38:51I wish...
38:59You're lovely with them.
39:02Seen a different side of you today.
39:21It's been a lovely day.
39:23One of those days you don't want the sun to go down.
39:28You know, by the time Helen left me, I could hardly better look at her.
39:33I think she had done.
39:35Just because of the hurt I could see in her eyes.
39:46I must never do it again.
39:52I mean it, Tag.
39:54I mustn't.
39:54I won't break you, too.
40:07I did it.
40:08I left him.
40:09I left Paul.
40:10Oh, Jesus.
40:13I should go.
40:14Thanks for today.
40:16I'll call.
40:16I'm sorry.
40:17I'm sorry.
40:18I didn't know where else to go.
40:20I don't really have any friends.
40:32I love a cheese sandwich.
40:35Thanks, Shelley.
40:37Is that chutney?
40:39No, it's jam.
40:41We're back.
40:43Surprise.
40:43Hello, guys.
40:45You're not back till tomorrow?
40:45We raced home to tell you the news.
40:47You tell them.
40:48No, you.
40:49The BBC called me at the hotel in Ireland.
40:52They've greened Letty Aids.
40:54That's amazing.
40:55Oh, thank Christ.
40:57So now I can cut the tags off my Ventura T-shirt?
40:59You can.
41:01So.
41:03But, oh, my God, they want it delivered in three months.
41:06We got an early flight back because there's so much to do.
41:08Let's get to work.
41:12Why was Taggy O'Hara here?
41:14Babysitting.
41:15I was worried when I found you with her in my pantry.
41:17She's far too young.
41:19What does age even mean?
41:23It's just a number.
41:24Yeah, it's just a number now.
41:25Imagine what it'd be like in a few years.
41:26It'd be like me and Paul.
41:27God.
41:28Sarah.
41:31Why are you here?
41:33Uncensored's going out tonight without me.
41:35BT's presenting it solo, and I think she's going to stitch me up.
41:40I think she knows something about me.
41:45And now everything's going to be ruined.
41:47She's going to crucify me live on national television.
41:51I think that's enough.
41:52Get off.
41:52And now everything's going to be ruined.
41:59And I think it's not wrong.
42:02It's enough.
42:06It's not good.
42:26preparing to go live
42:30five four three two one and q bt good evening and welcome to uncensored the naughtiest show
42:42on the network the beady-eyed among you might have noticed i'm by myself this evening
42:45sarah's getting some rest due to the pregnancy announced this afternoon on carinium
42:50on tonight's very special edition we uncover the scandal behind the polished facade of a
42:54national treasure here we go whatever she says about you we'll work it out okay minister for
43:01sport rupert campbell black you might want to fasten your seatbelts for this it's going to be quite a