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In Episode 2 of Season 5, the presenters compare classic supercars with their modern equivalents to see which holds up best. Expect high speed, iconic styling, and a deep dive into what makes a car timeless. With Geri Halliwell as the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car, the episode mixes celebrity charm with automotive nostalgia.
Thank you for supporting our channel
In Episode 2 of Season 5, the presenters compare classic supercars with their modern equivalents to see which holds up best. Expect high speed, iconic styling, and a deep dive into what makes a car timeless. With Geri Halliwell as the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car, the episode mixes celebrity charm with automotive nostalgia.
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MotorTranscript
00:00Tonight, the Ferrari Enzo, the Jaguar XJ220, the Fagani Zonda, the McLaren F1, the Ferrari F40, and the Porsche Carrera GT.
00:19Hello, and I'd like to extend a particularly warm welcome to the chap who telephoned the BBC to complain that in last week's show,
00:27the cheapest car we featured cost £29,000.
00:32Plainly, he's not going to like the line-up we've got tonight, so just for you, we're going to kick off tonight with a nice, sensible family hatchback.
00:43For the last six years, the Ford Focus has ruled in the land of hatchbacks.
00:49Its looks were revolutionary, and even today, in its old age, it's still amazing to drive.
00:58But now, the old warrior is dying, and the rivals are swarming in to carve up the kingdom.
01:05There's loads of them, the bulletproof Toyota Corolla and Honda Civic, the chic old Renault Megane, the spacious Seat Altea,
01:13and leading the attack, the new sharp-suited Vauxhall Astra, and the evergreen iconic Golf.
01:21Time then for the Focus to come out fighting.
01:24This is the brand-new one.
01:31It's on sale in a few weeks' time, so let's have a look at it.
01:37And just to liven things up, we'll let out its two biggest rivals, the Astra and the Golf.
01:43Now, as you've probably guessed, this car has got a lot to live up to, and when we start, well, with bad news, frankly.
01:57I mean, just look at it.
01:59The old Focus was, well, a bit of a head-turner. It was a real love-or-hate car, and that's good.
02:10But this one, this is a brand-new car, and you're going to have to point that out to people, tell them, or they won't even notice it.
02:17Let me show you what I mean.
02:19This is the most important new car of the year, and here it is on the high street on a Saturday afternoon, months before it will actually go on sale.
02:28Let's see how many people give it a second glance.
02:32Mm-hmm.
02:33Oh, here we go. His... No, he didn't. No.
02:39Boldy? No.
02:43Oh, dear.
02:46Now, this wouldn't be so bad if it was just up against something as conservative as the Golf.
02:51But alongside the new Astra, the Focus looks desperate.
02:55Inside or out, the Vauxhall is definitely the more handsome car.
03:04I mean, just look at it in here. It's so much more modern and refreshing.
03:15So, first strike to the Astra on looks.
03:19But then the Focus starts to fight back.
03:22It may be quite incredibly drab and dreary in here, and trust me, it is.
03:29But there is an air of quality to it.
03:31The plastics feel classy.
03:34The switches feel just better put together than before.
03:38And all the knobs and anything you have to operate feel...
03:41...chunky.
03:43And the space back here is, well, amazing.
03:45Even the three-door is enormous.
03:47And the boot is bigger than anything Volkswagen, Vauxhall, or anyone else can throw at you.
03:55And then there's the question of price.
03:59All these cars are poshish, high-powered diesel versions.
04:03All of them have alloy wheels, air-con, a full half a dozen airbags, CD player and six-speed gearboxes.
04:10But whilst the Focus costs 17,375 pounds, the Astra is 600 quid more.
04:19And the Golf is 18,500 pounds, a full 1,100 quid more.
04:25So, the newest car here is also the cheapest and the roomiest.
04:31Two strikes to Ford.
04:35The Focus is starting to show its class behind that dreary face.
04:40And it's got one more weapon up its sleeve.
04:43And that's the way it drives.
04:45Now, this was the old Focus's party piece.
04:47So let's see if it's passed on the torch.
04:49Oh, yes.
04:58For a family hatchback, this is still a real giggle.
05:02The steering is sharp, much sharper than you'd expected.
05:08The Golf and the Astra might have improved in recent years,
05:11but they're still nowhere near as pin-sharp to drive as the Focus.
05:15It's actually pulled off a clever trick.
05:21You see, the ride is better than the old Focus.
05:23It feels more refined, more grown-up than the old Focus.
05:27And yet it's just as much fun.
05:30I just know, on a very ordinary morning,
05:33on a very ordinary dash to a very ordinary train station,
05:36this would put a bigger smile on my face than any of the others.
05:40Under the skin, then, the new Focus is a very good car.
05:49But it blows its own trumpet so badly with those dull looks.
05:53The question is, will it get under your skin the way the old one did?
06:00So, really, it's just a styling issue that we're worried about.
06:03And I've got a theory on that.
06:05Oh, really?
06:06No, it's a good theory, this one.
06:07These cars become so common that they're like pylons.
06:14Big Wyatt's having an awful...
06:15No, you just don't notice them, so it doesn't really matter.
06:18So long as it's not offensively ugly,
06:19so long as it's not a Kia Rio, for example,
06:22it doesn't matter that it's a bit bland.
06:24Regrettably, I think, on this occasion, your theory stands up.
06:27I think you're right.
06:28It doesn't matter.
06:29And if you take the looks out of the equation, then that's it.
06:31I think we're probably agreed.
06:32Yeah.
06:32Focus is number one.
06:35Unless, of course, unless what you've always wanted
06:39is like a car of this size and price,
06:42but with a steering wheel,
06:44that when you turn it, the middle stays where it is.
06:48If you've always wanted that, focus is no good.
06:51That's really funny he should mention that,
06:54because in the studio, we've got the new Citroën C4.
07:00And when you look inside,
07:01you discover that the steering wheel turns,
07:06but the middle stays where it is.
07:09Look at that!
07:10That's absolutely remarkable!
07:11What's more?
07:15We think this is a really, really good-looking car,
07:18and because it's a Citroën, it's going to be good value.
07:22Of course, you know why Citroën always offers so many deals, don't you?
07:26Oh, yeah, they fall apart.
07:27Exactly.
07:27Cheap.
07:27They don't use nuts and bolts to make a car.
07:29Far too complicated and expensive.
07:31Spit!
07:31Yeah, just lick the door mirror and stick it on like that.
07:34It'll be fun, absolutely.
07:36Oh, just before we do the news, we've had a letter.
07:38I've got to share it with you.
07:39Um, here, pink note paper.
07:41All the eyes have got little circles on them.
07:44Ready?
07:46Dear Richard.
07:47Oh, right.
07:47Yeah, I watch Top Gear.
07:49I think you're the best-looking guy on the programme.
07:52That's hardly an achievement, is it?
07:53You're cool...
07:54That's a fair point.
07:57You're cool, good-looking, ace-hairstyle, wicked clothes.
08:02Best wishes.
08:03That's, uh, that's Stuart.
08:07It's a modern world, that's all right.
08:09It gets better, because would you like to know Stuart's address?
08:12Not really, no.
08:13The Folkestone Wing, Her Majesty's Prison Broadmoor.
08:17Broadmoor?
08:18He's getting out soon and he wants to know...
08:20But he could be watching now, shut up!
08:23What did you do with all the shirts from the last series?
08:25Can I have them?
08:27No!
08:28No, you...
08:28Oh, yes.
08:29How long's he going to be at that address?
08:31Do we know?
08:32It's better than that.
08:33Stuart, come on in.
08:34I don't like that.
08:38The Council for the Protection of Rural England is mounting a campaign to try and stop councils
08:44putting so many road signs up at the side of the road.
08:46We've got a photograph here which demonstrates the scale of...
08:49Is that real?
08:50That is a real photograph.
08:52This is a council that's obsessed about being sued and has done that.
08:56We absolutely really do throw our weight, for what it's worth, which isn't much, behind
09:00the CPRE on that, because that sort of thing is preposterous.
09:03No, I'm not throwing my weight behind that.
09:05Why?
09:05Have you seen who's behind them?
09:07Who?
09:08Bill Bryson.
09:10Sir?
09:10Well, I think that man is a danger, frankly.
09:13If there's one thing I can't stand, it's beardy, sanctimonious, patronising Americans
09:19in tartan trousers coming to England and trying to persuade us to turn it into a museum.
09:23He wants the East End full of cheeky Cockney chaps pushing wheelbarrows full of eels, and
09:28he wants Northerners to be industrialists with big braces and blokes dying of the consumption.
09:32Morning, Bill.
09:33I've got the consumption.
09:34It's traditional, all right?
09:35I said, Bill, if you're watching, okay, you won't be watching, obviously, because
09:41we're not talking about steam engines or long boats or bear baiting, but if you happen
09:45to have tuned in by mistake, we're not interested in the views of stupid Americans who come over
09:50here with their big video cameras saying, gee, I love your history, it's just so old.
09:54Sod off.
10:03Who's he?
10:04What?
10:05What?
10:06Okay, well, now we know.
10:07Honestly, I don't want to go home tonight.
10:09So, Bell Bison, not again.
10:09So, Bell Bison, then, seemingly not as popular as he might have thought.
10:15News, the Ferrari, Ferrari have given the Pope a present.
10:20Very nice.
10:21Sounds very nice.
10:21Very fun.
10:22Yes.
10:22It's a Formula One car.
10:24He's 84!
10:25He's got Parkinson's disease.
10:28He wants his slippers.
10:29What if he uses it?
10:32New 3 Series BMW.
10:34Photographs have been revealed this week.
10:36Thought you might like to have a look.
10:38There it is.
10:38Now, find a few things out about it.
10:41It's going to be a range of petrol engines, obviously.
10:43Two litre, two and a half, three litre.
10:45There'll be a diesel.
10:46Inevitably, of course, there'll be an M3 along in a while.
10:49It's bigger in the back, bigger boot, bigger car.
10:52And the best thing, I think, is that the man responsible for ruining the look of all BMWs in recent years has obviously been locked in a cupboard while they did that one.
11:00This is not really that ugly to behold.
11:02You're talking about Bangle, aren't you?
11:04Yeah.
11:04I'm not having this ruined all BMWs.
11:06The 7 Series, I think, looks fabulous.
11:08And the Z4, that is a fantastic-looking car.
11:11No, you're not quite right there.
11:12I mean, I agree with you.
11:13No, you're not.
11:14He's good.
11:14But the 7 Series is a little bit wonky.
11:16That was the first one he did.
11:17That was an experiment.
11:17The 6 Series, that is a truly fabulous model.
11:21Ladies and gentlemen, Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder offering their opinion.
11:26On the BMW range there.
11:29You're all right.
11:31Actually, that probably will be a very nice car to drive.
11:35I mean, they always are.
11:35BMWs are always nice to drive.
11:37But they're just so goldfish now.
11:40I mean, I'm talking about the...
11:41What, as in VW?
11:41No, no, just the stupid trouser thing.
11:44Can we move on?
11:45Very briefly, I just wanted to point out.
11:47That Eurostar, you know, the train that you can go abroad on in, have now announced, with
11:52some fanfare, that you can get from Peterborough to Paris in about three and a half hours, which
11:56is interesting.
11:57It's just that I bet they're not making the same song and dance in Paris.
12:02You can now get from Paris to Peterborough.
12:05Why?
12:07Now, Mitsubishi, you know the Evo?
12:10Well, of course you do, yeah?
12:12The latest one they've just announced will have 400 brake horsepower.
12:17That's unbelievable.
12:18From a two-litre engine.
12:19From a two-litre engine.
12:20How big's the turbo going to be on it?
12:22And what is it going to suck up?
12:25Everything.
12:26Everything you've got.
12:26Children with kites.
12:28Yeah.
12:28Whoa!
12:29No!
12:30Apparently, you have to service it every...
12:32Four and a half thousand miles.
12:34Four and a half thousand miles.
12:34Yeah.
12:34Well, I reckon that's...
12:35It's simply because they've got to empty the turbo out.
12:38I mean, if it's...
12:38If it's starting in the garage one day, it would just be full of lawnmowers and old dinghies and sledges and paint.
12:44There'll be a lot more lost kitten signs on lampposts.
12:47No!
12:47No!
12:48Eat that by a minute!
12:50That's sad.
12:52Right.
12:53Restoration rip-off.
12:54Your chance to save a great car for the nation.
12:58Now, we asked you to write in and nominate knackered but essentially interesting old cars that were worthy of restoration.
13:04We narrowed that down to a short list of five.
13:07But the catch is, we've only got enough money to restore one of them.
13:11And you're going to decide which one it is by voting with a telephone number that I'm going to give you in a minute.
13:16So please have a pen ready this time.
13:19Last week, we looked at a Lotus 10 that had been ordered by James Dean just days before he was killed.
13:25And now, here's another candidate.
13:27Our non-runner this week is one of Britain's more eccentric cars.
13:42This is the Adams Probe 16.
13:44Now, you probably don't recognise the name, but you should recognise the shape because this car was a film star.
13:55But that's not the first reason for restoring it.
13:58First of all, there's its rarity.
13:59This is much rarer than a Bugatti Royale or a Ferrari 250 GTO.
14:05We've got six of the Bugattis and a whopping 39 of the Ferrari.
14:09But this, three.
14:10And then there's the brave design.
14:18Now, everyone was stunned by the Ford GT40 because it sat just 40 inches high.
14:25But this car would make the Ford look like a Range Rover.
14:29When it's sitting down on its own wheels, its roof is just 34 inches off the ground.
14:35And that meant there was no room for any doors.
14:38So there aren't any.
14:39So instead, you stuck a key in the bodywork down here.
14:42And this glass roof panel slid open electrically.
14:49The designer, Dennis Adams, said that this bit of the car was inspired by a woman's waistline.
14:55And that these bits were her buttocks.
14:58But it was the 60s.
15:02And it was at the end of the 60s, when the probe was grabbing headlines,
15:06that it caught the eye of film director Stanley Kubrick.
15:11When Kubrick made a clockwork orange, he needed a car as shocking as his vision of a nightmare future.
15:17And this very probe 16 was it.
15:22But although it may still look futuristic, I have to say that one or two of the details are a bit medieval.
15:30The chassis, for example, it's made of wood.
15:32And I'm afraid to say that the engine has come from an Austin Maxi.
15:35And then there's the pedals.
15:37When you press the throttle and the clutch, they move outwards like that.
15:43It is, of course, a complete crock.
15:45I mean, all the bits are in boxes and buckets and look something like that.
15:49They all need refinishing and refitting.
15:52But we think it's probably worth it, because this car epitomises that mad late 60s period,
15:59when all the furniture hung from the ceiling and all the carpet was shagpiled.
16:06You simply couldn't design a car like this today.
16:10Nannying legislation would put a stop to that immediately.
16:14And that's why this car is worthy of your vote.
16:18This is the next century.
16:20To vote for the Clockwork Orange Probe, you ring 09011-110835
16:27and follow the instructions that I give you down the telephone.
16:30Now, do please vote, because remember, only you can decide which of these completely broken cars is rescued.
16:38And as an added incentive, when you ring up, you are automatically eligible for our competition
16:42to win a VIP test track day with Top Gear right here.
16:47All you have to do is answer this very, very tricky automotive question.
16:51Which Italian supercar maker features a prancing horse on its logo?
16:59Absolutely no idea.
17:01Anyway, Ferrari.
17:02Now, a couple of years ago, they introduced this amazing new hypercar, really.
17:07It was called the F60.
17:09And we've been trying, ever since, to get hold of one.
17:12Yeah, for two years.
17:13I mean, they cost half a million quid, so we couldn't buy one, obviously.
17:16They wouldn't lend one to us at Ferrari.
17:18We rang Avis.
17:19They didn't have one we could hire or anything.
17:21I rang up JK, who's got one, and said, you know, can we borrow yours?
17:26And he said, yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing.
17:31And then, out of the blue, Nick Mason, who's the drummer with Pink Floyd,
17:36telephoned to say that he'd got an F60 which we could borrow if we promised to plug his new book.
17:41Well, we aren't really allowed to plug stuff on Top Gear, but I said to him, look, if we can have your F60,
17:48I'll slide a couple of references in, and I don't think that any of the bigwigs will notice.
17:55This is what the fuss is all about.
18:01And it's easy to see why.
18:03For sheer excitement and pizzazz, it's hard to think of anything which can match it.
18:11The only thing that comes close, really, is this book that I've been reading.
18:19It's called Inside Out, a personal history of Pink Floyd by Nick Mason.
18:24It is beautifully written, remarkably well produced, and at just £30, exceptional value.
18:39Of course, anyone can buy the book.
18:41It's for sale in every good bookshop.
18:44Whereas only 399 F60s were made, and you couldn't just choose to buy one.
18:50You were chosen by Ferrari.
18:53And you were only selected if they thought you were worthy.
18:59One of the lucky ones was the author and part-time drummer Nick Mason.
19:04So, how much of a thrill was it when you got the call from Ferrari to say that you could have one of these F60s?
19:14Oh, it was absolutely terrific.
19:16In fact, it was probably as exciting as the moment when I actually got my hands on the first production copy of my book.
19:21Oh, your new book, yeah.
19:23Which, I have to say, is absolutely excellent.
19:25It really is absolutely wonderful, because it sort of chronicles the whole history of Pink Floyd.
19:31The thing is, though, how would you compare the car to the book?
19:36I think that's a tough call, Jeremy.
19:38I think they're both enormously exciting, but perhaps most importantly, they're both great value for money.
19:45Marvellous.
19:46What he's saying, then, is that his car is as good as his book, so it must be quite a machine.
19:53You only have to look at this Formula One-style steering wheel to know that you're in something unbelievably special.
20:02I mean, look at it.
20:03It's a saucer full of secrets.
20:05You've got red lights here to tell you when to change gear, and then you've got one that says Mode, a button, and another button with Set,
20:12and one for lifting the nose up when you get to a speed bump, and race!
20:19Race!
20:20And look at that one.
20:21That one turns the traction control off.
20:26I don't think so.
20:29You'd have to be a fully paid-up member of Exit to do that.
20:33There's more F1 stuff, too, like these gear changes here behind the steering wheel.
20:40OK?
20:41Now, when you pull one, like that, the onboard computer...
20:46I'll just shut it up a bit.
20:47The onboard computer disengages the clutch, selects a new gear,
20:53orders up a burst of torque from the engine to sustain you during the change,
20:57and firms up the rear suspension to stop the back of the car squatting.
21:00And it does all that in 150 milliseconds.
21:04Ready?
21:09Don't be fooled, though.
21:11Unlike the last limited edition Ferrari, the F50, which was a big, ugly, vibrating pile driver of a thing,
21:18this was not designed to be an F1 car for the road.
21:21It was designed to be a road car for the road.
21:25Though, quite which road they had in mind, I have no idea.
21:30This incredible gear change and the responsiveness of the steering,
21:44and then there's the speed of the thing.
21:46The monster making that torrent of sound is a 6-litre V12 that develops 650 brake horsepower.
21:58That's 45 more than you get from a Porsche GT.
22:02It's 100 more than you get from a Ford GT.
22:05That is the delicate sound of thunder.
22:13You just set the controls for the heart of the sun, and just like that, you are on the dark side of the moon.
22:21Oh, I wish you were here, just to feel this power!
22:29But then it does need colossal grunt, because although it's made from carbon fibre and Kevlar,
22:35it's actually quite heavy. Sitting still, it weighs more than 1,300 kilograms.
22:46At 186 miles an hour, however, when the downforce from that body kicks in, it weighs more than two tonnes.
22:54But even so, the top speed is 218 miles an hour.
23:00This thing would eat a Porsche Carrera GT.
23:04It makes the Porsche look like a Bentley.
23:08Oh, my God!
23:12Only astronauts have felt power like this before.
23:16The gap between this and the Mercedes McLaren SLR is as wide as the gap between Michael Schumacher and David Coulthard.
23:30This is now the performance benchmark.
23:34This is the speed king.
23:36This is the division bell between the ordinary and the absolutely astonishing...
23:43..Ferrari are so pleased with it, they've named it after the founder of the company.
23:52They call it the Enzo.
23:58Now, that would be the same as Lotus calling their next car the Colin.
24:04It is so brilliantly focused.
24:07I mean, look at this cabin. There is nothing to distract you.
24:11There are no electric windows. There's no sat-nav.
24:13There's nothing to distract you from the job of driving.
24:17Because when you're in here, that is all you want to do.
24:21Just drive.
24:23And drive.
24:24And drive.
24:27The Enzo is a masterpiece.
24:30There's a real sense that it's a mass of barely-contained fury.
24:34That you're in control of something biblical.
24:37Something utterly magical.
24:40Something wonderful.
24:41And when you see it parked alongside its rivals, you can't help thinking that we really have reached a peak.
24:49That supercars today are approaching a state of engineering perfection.
24:53The thing is, though, Nick Mason could now take this car home.
25:06We've finished with it.
25:07But instead, look how he is going home.
25:10Why is he doing that?
25:19Actually, it's a very good point, though.
25:43Why did he do that?
25:44I mean, how long has he had this?
25:45Well, when I drove it, it had done 300 miles.
25:49300 miles.
25:49And he's already gone back to using a helicopter.
25:51Yeah.
25:51And as soon as he'd taken off and was obscured by clouds...
25:55Very good.
25:56Another one in there.
25:57Saw that one.
25:58I got to thinking, maybe these modern supercars, like the Enzo, maybe they are achieving this
26:03sense of kind of engineering perfection.
26:06But for sure, gut-wrenching, I've got to go and drive it, excitement.
26:09Maybe the older stuff from, like, 15 years ago is better.
26:13So stuff like the McLaren F1 and the Jaguar, the XJ220.
26:16Exactly.
26:17So, later in the show, we are going to put the older stuff against the newer stuff to
26:23see which is better.
26:24And also, we're going to let the Stig do a lap in the Enzo.
26:28Yes.
26:29Yes.
26:30Can't wait for that.
26:31Now, though, it is time to put our star in the reasonably priced car.
26:37She is, quite simply, the biggest-selling female British artist of all time.
26:43Of course, not as big-selling as Pink Floyd, I should say, which I have been reading about
26:47in this riveting book full of fascinating facts about Pink Floyd.
26:51Absolutely.
26:52Absolutely.
26:52But she's done very well for a ginger, nevertheless.
26:54Ladies and gentlemen, Geri Halliwell!
26:58How are you?
26:59How are you?
27:01Have a seat.
27:05You?
27:10You're looking fantastic.
27:12Do you know what?
27:13This reminds me of a car auction.
27:15This whole place.
27:17Yeah.
27:17It would do.
27:18They're all auctioneers, these people.
27:20They buy and sell cortinas every Tuesday night.
27:22Of course, you'd know about that, because your man was a car dealer.
27:25A second-hand, dodgy car dealer.
27:27That's okay.
27:28They all are.
27:31So, what have you been up to?
27:32Because you've been awfully quiet just recently.
27:34Yeah, I was taking time out in Los Angeles, and I spent the last three years just writing
27:40my album, and I'm just about to release this.
27:43You could just stop.
27:44We don't do plugging on this show.
27:47So, uh...
27:48I'm just...
27:50No, I'm not plugging, I'm just telling the truth.
27:52Okay, fine.
27:53So there's a new album out.
27:54Yes.
27:54We don't want to know the name.
27:55Not unless you're going to give me a half million quid supercar, and then you can frankly
27:58say anything you like about it.
27:59I can lend you my Mercedes, if you like.
28:02Not good enough.
28:04Aston Martin?
28:05What sort?
28:06A DB7.
28:07No, sorry.
28:08Okay.
28:10No, if it were a DB9, the new race car, we'd obviously discuss.
28:14Is there a single coming out?
28:16Yeah.
28:17There is?
28:18Yeah.
28:18Don't ride it.
28:19What?
28:19No, I was talking over the top of that, so we never heard it.
28:24Anyway, what's...
28:26You're funny.
28:27I haven't started yet.
28:29What worries me slightly is that you're not going to be looking quite so good in ten minutes
28:34time after we've seen your lap, because your driving career is shocking.
28:39But it is.
28:40I've never read anything.
28:42How many times did you crash in, say, the early days of the Spice Girls?
28:46Yeah, I had a lot.
28:47Seven.
28:48In how many?
28:49Six months.
28:50Seven?
28:52But they're kind of little crashes, you know, because it's more like when you're distracted,
28:56because I had four other girls with me, and I used to drive my Fiat Uno everywhere, and
29:01it would be whether they'd pass me a chewing gum, or, you know, if I was talking, or just
29:05looking in the...
29:05It's those kind of silly things.
29:07Mm-hmm.
29:07Once I went out of a no-exit, and this cyclist went into the back windscreen over Victoria.
29:15But they're mushy cyclists.
29:16Yeah.
29:17They cause very little damage to the car.
29:18I took him to hospital.
29:19I did.
29:20Oh, did you?
29:21Was he a nice chap?
29:22He was.
29:23Oh good.
29:24Nothing happened there, you didn't?
29:25No.
29:26Because your list of requirements for a man is, let's be honest, quite long.
29:31Do you think I'm just asking too much?
29:33Well, I mean, I actually got it from your book, and I'm not going to say what it's
29:36called, obviously.
29:37Okay.
29:38You say that your perfect man has to love his mum, be trustworthy and kind, good-looking,
29:43funny, sexy, healthy, bigger bank balance than yours, virile, 28 to 38, loyal, fit, lots
29:49of free time, and is respected in his own right.
29:51I've dropped a few of them, he doesn't have to be that age, he can be younger.
29:54Oh, fine, because I was going to say, this is me, apart from that.
29:57Okay.
29:58How old are you?
29:59The age, if you could edge the age up to like 44.
30:03Oh, that's okay.
30:04How tall are you?
30:05Because I like...
30:06Six foot five.
30:07Oh, really?
30:08Six foot five.
30:09Oh, I really like tall.
30:10That's good.
30:11Yeah, tall, because I'm so little, genetically.
30:12You've had it.
30:13Are you really?
30:14Really?
30:15Yeah, look, I mean, check it out.
30:17Okay.
30:18Check it, I think you fit perfectly.
30:21And I could rest my pint there, which means...
30:24Yeah.
30:25That'd be perfect.
30:27Yeah.
30:28Actually, we've got to say, your brother rang.
30:30Did you know this?
30:31Did he?
30:32To tell us about your driving.
30:33Really?
30:34Yeah.
30:35The problem is, when she's driving, she makes the actual business of driving fourth or fifth
30:40on her list of things to do.
30:42If she's not doing her bloody hair or make-up, she's on the phone or playing with her dogs or
30:48whatever.
30:49That's what he said.
30:50And then he says, every panel of our Aston has a scrape or a dent, even the roof.
30:56How can you get a scrape on the roof?
30:59How can you get a scrape on the roof?
31:01Low bridges.
31:02No.
31:03You see, even in Los Angeles, they're not that low.
31:08You're accident-prone away from the road as well, I believe.
31:13Your dog, for instance, what happened when it went to Chequers?
31:16Well, we went to Tony Blair's house for Christmas, Chequers, and I bought Harry, because he's
31:21a really good...
31:22Dogs are great icebreakers when you're a little bit shy and you haven't met someone.
31:25Anyway, so Harry went missing, and everyone else had gone for a tour of the house.
31:30And then I found him in Tony Blair's study, and he'd done a big P, you know, where he
31:37does all his research.
31:38I'd like to do that.
31:40How did Tony take it?
31:43He took it very well, actually, I have to say.
31:45You know.
31:47Okay, so what was the first car that you got when you kind of made it big?
31:53Well, when I was a little girl, one of the first family portraits I had was this little
31:58tiny red convertible, and so when I got my first cheque for signing my record deal, I
32:04got a 1967 MGB Roadster.
32:07I've always been obsessed with cars, old cars, and it had, like, silver spokes.
32:11It's beautiful.
32:12But sadly, like, three days after I got it, I pulled a handbrake on it, and I left it
32:17on a hill, and I just caught it out the corner of my eye, and it rolled into it.
32:20You did.
32:21Your brother actually said that he told you that you should always leave an old car in
32:25gear.
32:26Okay, yeah.
32:27And you didn't listen.
32:28No.
32:29And it rolled down and hit a...
32:30Lamp post.
32:31Lamp post.
32:32Another one had gone.
32:33Another one.
32:34Today, you have one of my very favourite cars, actually.
32:38The old Merc.
32:39Which one is it?
32:40It's a 280 SL.
32:42What, the old...
32:43It's the Pagoda Roof.
32:44Yeah, Grace Kelly car.
32:45Yeah, Kate Moss has got one as well.
32:46Has she?
32:47Yeah.
32:48They are glorious cars.
32:49George Michael bought it for me as a birthday present.
32:51Really?
32:52Yeah, I thought I'd named that.
32:53That's kind of...
32:54I feel very proud of that.
32:55No, that is a nice thing.
32:56Yeah.
32:57Why did he do that?
32:58Because, I think, because he loves me.
33:00Well, perhaps to stop you driving his car.
33:02Yeah.
33:03Well, the funny thing is, the reason why...
33:04Well, I was driving his Mercedes in the south of France, and I hit that one.
33:10So, there you are.
33:11Have you ever driven a car, for any period of time, and not crashed it?
33:17I haven't crashed this one.
33:19The one that George bought me.
33:20Yeah.
33:21Erm, right.
33:22Now.
33:23The lap.
33:24I had a little help on Monday.
33:26Really?
33:27I did some extra training.
33:28With a Formula 3.
33:29I think it's gonna be Formula...
33:30I think you met him earlier.
33:31Formula 1 driver.
33:32His name's Jamie Green.
33:33Where did you go?
33:34Erm, it was just in Bedford.
33:35It was this big...
33:36Oh, the Bedford Aerodrome.
33:37Yeah, yeah, yeah.
33:38Good trip.
33:39Good fun.
33:40A lot of fun.
33:41And what were you driving there?
33:42Erm, I drove a really crappy car to get used to what we were gonna do today.
33:46Yeah.
33:47I have this motto, erm, fail to prepare, prepare to fail.
33:52So, I can, you know, just try a little bit, put the footwork in, and, do you know what
33:56I mean?
33:57I think it's always just to do your best.
33:58That's it.
33:59I like to give my best.
34:00And that's what you think you've done today?
34:01Do you know what?
34:02I don't know if I did my best today.
34:04I was quite more overwhelmed with...
34:07I'm pre-menstrual, so I'm a bit like that.
34:09And I don't think that...
34:10Sorry.
34:11That's not right.
34:12Only...
34:13No man will understand this.
34:14The only way I can get a man to understand this is a little bit, erm...
34:18It's kind of like you want to feel like you want to hit someone.
34:21And, you know, it's a bit of road rage before you even have it.
34:24So, and that's not good for driving, so it's better to relax, isn't it?
34:28So, therefore, I was in a kind of more of a state of tension.
34:31Well, let's find out.
34:32Who'd like to see Jerry's lap?
34:34Yes.
34:35This is the moment of truth, Jerry.
34:37Oh, my God.
34:38Here we go.
34:39Let's play the tape.
34:41Now, that's an aggressive start.
34:43And an aggressive gear change, I would say.
34:49Oh, is it raining?
34:50Yeah.
34:51Look at the speed!
34:52You go too fast in, you'll skid out.
34:56Yes, look, you've gone and skidded miles out there.
35:01It's very...
35:02I like the aggression.
35:03The aggression is good.
35:04Very fast into every...
35:06That's very good.
35:07Now, did you lift off going through there?
35:19A little bit.
35:20Corner slowly on the thing.
35:25Oh, f***!
35:26This is impressive stuff!
35:31And there we are across the line!
35:36Yeah!
35:37That was honest and that was impressive.
35:39It is!
35:40It is!
35:41So, continue the tradition of spelling everybody's name wrong on there.
35:52Harry Jellywell.
35:53That's what we'll do.
35:56One minute.
35:5855.4.
36:01So, you're not likely, you did very well.
36:04You're right about there.
36:06Like, give her a round of applause, everyone!
36:08Look!
36:15Who's Boris?
36:16Boris Johnson.
36:17Who's that?
36:18Liverpool's famous son.
36:20Jonathan Ross.
36:21That was 1.56.
36:22Jonathan Ross got lost.
36:23He got lost!
36:24He got lost!
36:25He got lost.
36:26Johnny Vegas hasn't got a driving test.
36:29Harry Enfield, pathetic.
36:31And then Richard Whiteley, well, what can you say about that?
36:33Okay.
36:34We actually had a blind man ring up the other day,
36:35say he reckons he could go around faster than Richard Whiteley.
36:37What do you reckon?
36:38Should we give him a try?
36:39Should we give him in?
36:40In the meantime, ladies and gentlemen, Jerry Harrywell!
36:42APPLAUSE
36:43Now, time to answer a question, and it's a question that's been vexing the nation.
37:00It's this, which would win in a race between a car and a boy?
37:05Now, you might think the answer is obvious, but we weren't so sure.
37:12This is a really steep hill in Wales.
37:16It's the sort of place where you'll find people racing these all-terrain boards.
37:21It's quite a piece of kit made from carbon and Kevlar, and specially built to travel at great speeds over rough ground.
37:29Impressive!
37:30But so's this.
37:32It's a group-end Mitsubishi Evo 7 rally car, and it too is specially built to travel at great speed over rough ground.
37:42More importantly, it's got an engine, and a pretty good engine too.
37:46300 brake horsepower, 2 litres, with a whacking great turbo on it.
37:50Where is the skateboard's engine?
37:52It's this.
37:53A 16-year-old youth called Tom.
37:56He's from the West Country.
37:59Now, we love an unfair challenge on Top Gear, so which one of these is going to be faster in a race?
38:04The Cornish teenager, or the turbocharged rally car?
38:11This is the course where they'll be competing.
38:14The locals call it the Green Mile.
38:17It's a half-mile stretch of prime Welsh hillside that's been turned into an off-road racetrack, packed with sharp turns, rough ground, and steep dips.
38:27And actually, the car will have a tougher time than you might think, because despite his fluffy top lip, Tom is the double world champion at all-terrain skateboarding.
38:38At full chat downhill, he can travel at 40 miles an hour, and that's a lot.
38:43Especially when you haven't got brakes.
38:46Maximising the car's chances is professional racing driver Ben Collins.
38:52Here we go. This is it. Machine against Grumpy T.
39:07Oh, this is too terrible. I can't watch. The wet grass is as slippy as sheet ice, and the Mitsubishi is struggling to put down all that power, or use the brakes.
39:26Not only that, the car is having to steer around the obstacles, whereas the boy is simply spearing straight down the hill.
39:33Our driver is getting murdered out there.
39:46The driver is getting murdered out there.
39:53The driver is getting murdered out there.
39:59Well, that was a blow for technical progress. The internal combustion engine trounced by an acne-rattled teenager on a plank.
40:15Now, not that we're sore losers or anything, but it's double a quits time, and we've just upped the ante.
40:22This is a bowler wildcat. You might remember it from a previous episode of Top Gear.
40:31It's got a 5-litre V8 engine, 300 horsepower, and a race car-style tubular space-frame chassis that was designed to shrug off like knocks, like being dropped 40 feet onto its nose.
40:44This car was built to monster the Paris Dakar, so it should make mincemeat of a small hill in Wales.
40:59OK, here we go. Try this, kiddo.
41:15Much more like it. The aggressive, knobbly tyres give the bowler grip and let the aggressive, knobbly driver steer it where he wants.
41:26You see, sometimes you've just got to teach these youths a lesson. Show them who's boss. It's for his own good.
41:44Good luck. Good luck.
41:57OK, it's time to do the call.
42:00Yay!
42:02And we shall begin with the Vauxhall Monaro that we saw in last week's show.
42:08Big Aussie V8. What do we think?
42:10Cool!
42:12Sub-Zero, you, hang on a minute.
42:14You think it's...
42:15Sub-Zero.
42:16You are an Australian?
42:17Yep.
42:19Why are you over here?
42:20It's V9, actually.
42:21You think it goes in the DB9 section?
42:23Whoa! That's...
42:24Well, this is interesting because we're struggling to think of a single Australian thing ever that's been cool.
42:30Can you think of anything?
42:31Not really.
42:33Fuck, who said Fosters?
42:35Who said Fo... you said Fosters?
42:37It is, yeah, it's cool.
42:38Yeah, it's cold, but I wouldn't call it a cool drink.
42:41You know what I'm saying?
42:42I'm very shabbly.
42:43Tell you what, Jeremy.
42:44Rounding up cattle with a helicopter.
42:45You know when they do that?
42:46That's cool.
42:47No, I've done that.
42:48It's rugged, but it's not cool.
42:50Also, they're quite gay.
42:52I do think that this is a cool car.
42:58Yeah, I agree.
42:59Yes.
43:00But it goes further than that.
43:01It's not super cool, it's Australian, but it is a cool car.
43:03No, no, no, but it's cool.
43:04Can I do one?
43:05By all means.
43:06The new Porsche 911.
43:07You drove it on the programme last week.
43:09Now, you said it's kind of sharper and a bit edgier and it's going to get the fat, balding, middle-aged blokes out of it.
43:16What do we think?
43:17Which makes it cooler.
43:18We think all uncool?
43:19Yes?
43:20Uncool.
43:21Uncool.
43:22Uncool.
43:23Why?
43:24She looks the same as every other Porsche.
43:25Well, that's the point of it.
43:26Anybody else have got an opinion?
43:27I think it's quite cool, actually.
43:28Yes.
43:29Wrong.
43:30Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.
43:31I agree with the lady.
43:32I think it's cool.
43:33No, you're wrong again.
43:35I went to have a look round a school, okay, for my children.
43:39Inadvertently took this car with me.
43:41And?
43:42You could see the pupils making a mental note that when my children start, they're going to be bullied.
43:49What?
43:50They're going to flush their heads down the lavatory for five years.
43:55Has your dad still got that 911?
43:56Is he that yellow?
43:57Get in there.
43:58Why did you buy that?
43:59So if you want your children to be bullied, this is the car to buy.
44:03And as a result, it's very, very uncool.
44:05The new Mercedes SLK.
44:08And the old one was a little bit girly.
44:11This, though, I think with that kind of Formula One-ish front end there, that, I think, is maybe a cool car now.
44:18What do we think?
44:19Cool car?
44:20I think it's getting there.
44:21Cool.
44:22Cool.
44:23Cool.
44:24Cool.
44:25Cool.
44:26Cool.
44:27Cool.
44:28Cool.
44:29A general cool consensus.
44:30Yeah.
44:31You think it's cool.
44:32Unfortunately, you're all wrong.
44:33It's down here for a very good reason.
44:34Because you say so.
44:35No, there's an even better reason than that.
44:38Mmm, I didn't.
44:39Wayne Rooney has bought one for Colleen.
44:42No, you're right.
44:43I'm sorry.
44:44Unless Mercedes can confiscate that car back from the lovely Colleen, that's going to stay down there, which is a pity.
44:50Yeah, it is a pity.
44:51It's a good car.
44:52What about this?
44:53Ah.
44:54It ends, though.
44:55Well, we'll go and move about.
44:57Cool.
44:58Cool.
44:59Fridge of its own.
45:00Fridge of its own?
45:01What, beyond a DB9?
45:02Umm, yeah.
45:03You think this is cooler than a DB9?
45:05Yeah, I do think so.
45:06Really?
45:07And you?
45:08Cool.
45:09Very cool.
45:10Really cool?
45:11Cool.
45:12Cool.
45:13Cool.
45:14Why is it uncool?
45:15Well, let's go and talk to this man.
45:16Why is it uncool?
45:17Because not enough cool people could own one.
45:19Not enough, only 399 were made.
45:21Right, anyway, you thought it was uncool, didn't you?
45:22Yeah.
45:23Why?
45:24Same reason, I can't imagine a cool guy driving it.
45:26You can't imagine a cool guy driving it.
45:29Thank you, gentlemen, for getting the point of the cool wall.
45:32This is not just uncool.
45:34Really?
45:35Seriously uncool.
45:37What?
45:38Ooh, said ooh.
45:39Look at it this way.
45:41You walk into a urinal, and there's a chap standing suspiciously close to the porcelain.
45:46He's probably going on a...
45:47What do you mean?
45:48Why?
45:49Why would you stand...
45:51Ah.
45:52You're there now?
45:54Yes.
45:55Anyway, speaking of the Enzo, the time has come to find out whether the supercars being
46:04made now under Mr Blair are a match for the supercars that were made when Mrs Thatcher
46:10was running the shop.
46:15This is a Pagani Zonda.
46:18It's powered by a sophisticated 7.3 litre V12 engine, and is built from space-age materials
46:25that have to be made in laboratories by scientists in white coats.
46:31This is a Jaguar XJ220 from 12 years ago.
46:40It's made from stuff that was dug out of the ground by men in check shirts and hard hats.
46:46It's as sophisticated and as advanced as a telegraph pole.
46:52And because its engine is less than half the size of the one in the Zonda, you know which
46:58one will win a simple black and white drag race.
47:01But you'd be wrong.
47:13It's the Jag, a car conceived in the power crazed 80s that's much, much faster.
47:20Ooh, and look what we have here.
47:24It's two ultra-modern supercars, the Ferrari Enzo and the Porsche Carrera GT.
47:34Flat out, they'll reach 210, maybe 220 miles an hour, where they'll be blasted to kingdom come
47:41by the 11-year-old McLaren F1.
47:49This can do 241 miles an hour.
47:54So you see my point.
47:56In a straight line at least, the cars from the Blair era are slower
48:00than the cars that were spawned during the reign of Mrs. Thatcher.
48:06As you would expect in these times of increased social responsibility,
48:10these modern supercars are much safer for the people inside them
48:14and safer too for the people they run over.
48:17They're more reliable than the older ones and they're kinder to the environment.
48:21All that comes out of the exhaust pipes on this Porsche are baby foxes.
48:29These cars are like one of Mr. Blair's speeches or a pensions commercial,
48:33which amounts to the same thing.
48:36They're building a better future for our children and a safer, cleaner tomorrow.
48:43But that's not the point.
48:51Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill and then run over him again for good measure.
48:56They're designed to melt ice caps, kill the poor, poison the water table,
49:01destroy the ozone layer, decimate indigenous wildlife, recapture the Faultland Islands
49:06and turn the entire third world into a huge, uninhabitable desert.
49:11But only after they've nicked all the oil.
49:20This doesn't feel like it would do any of that.
49:23I have a horrible feeling that if this could read a newspaper, it would be The Guardian.
49:28It feels like the Porsche Rusbridger.
49:37And as I sit here, I can't help thinking that it could and should be even faster.
49:44I mean, McLaren proved 15 years ago that man had the ability and the technology
49:51to make a road car go 230 or 240 miles an hour.
49:55Now, Porsche had that technology, they had that ability.
49:59And yet with this, for whatever reason, they held back.
50:03This then ticks all the health and safety boxes.
50:10It's like an Airbus, very safe and very civilised.
50:14Whereas the old McLaren...
50:17That's like Concorde.
50:26Unfortunately, like Concorde, it was flawed.
50:30Even its biggest fans, and I'm not one of them, admit the gearbox is clunky,
50:39the steering is too heavy, the front's too vague and the back end is skittish.
50:47Couple all that to this spectacular power
50:52and you end up with something truly terrifying.
50:54You know that bit in Doctor Strangelove where Peter Sellers is astride the nuclear missile?
51:03That's what it's like.
51:05You don't know where you're going.
51:08You have no real control.
51:10You just know the journey's going to end very soon and very badly.
51:15Despite this, there are those who say that this was the greatest supercar ever made.
51:20But, and this is a personal thing, I've always preferred...
51:25This.
51:29The Ferrari F40 had no door handles, no radio and no carpets.
51:35The interior was held together with what looked like green bathroom sealant.
51:40And the paint was so thin, you could see the weave of the carbon fibre through it.
51:45All of this made it light, really light.
51:55It's only a passenger away from a Lotus Elise.
52:03The result is 0-60 in 3.2 seconds and nothing you've seen here tonight can match that.
52:11The power comes from a twin-turbo V8.
52:15It's only a three-litre but, my God, it goes!
52:20Get your rocks out, get your rocks out on it.
52:23Shake it down, down, down, down.
52:26What I love is that when you're on the overrun, just take your foot off the throttle.
52:29Listen, at these huge bounces, it just dumps great quads of unburnt fuel into the exhaust for fun!
52:36For fun!
52:40Oh, go back!
52:43And because there was hardly any weight, it just devours the corners, always hitting the apex.
52:50And when you feel the back end start to go, you can always catch it, cos this lady is not for turning!
52:59Sure, it didn't have the amazing power or the sophistication of the McLaren, but the F40 feels lighter and more agile.
53:11It feels like a wasp buzzing round a rhinoceros.
53:14In fact, I think it's not any better than the McLaren, I think it's better than any of its modern rivals.
53:24Now, at this point, you probably think I've gone completely mad.
53:29You're almost certainly wondering how an 18-year-old car with see-through paint, no carpets and a top speed of only 201 could possibly be better than these two.
53:43Well, let me explain.
53:44You see, in a modern supercar, every decision you make has to go through a kind of electronic committee.
53:57You put your foot down and the onboard computer says,
53:59Oh, no, hang on a minute, you've got 16 degrees of steering lock on there and too much throttle.
54:04We're going to have to get Kofi and Nan over, maybe bring Bono in on it.
54:09See if we'll work through some kind of compromise.
54:12Drives you nuts!
54:18In this, there is no electronic overlord.
54:21It doesn't even have power steering or traction control.
54:24I've got Francis Pym on the brakes, I've got John Knott on the steering wheel, I've got Keith Joseph on the gearbox.
54:32Just a bunch of yes men who do exactly what I tell them to do when I tell them to do it.
54:43Of course, a modern supercar has ceramic brakes and sticky, fat tyres, so you can brake later for corners and then go through them more quickly.
54:52Round a track, a modern supercar would be faster than this.
55:00But this is so much more fun, because it's just road, seat, arse.
55:08The end.
55:09You're not seriously going to tell me that that F40 is a better car than this F60.
55:21Well, it's better looking. Are we all agreed on that? The F40 is a better looking car than the F60.
55:26I agree with you, but a better car.
55:28No, look, the F60 is astonishing, but there are too many computers in it.
55:35I know what you mean, but there are, I mean, computers do have their uses. You pointed a few out. Fuel economy, environment, all the rest of it.
55:40No, they do have their uses, but which would you rather do? Would you rather play football on a PlayStation or get out there and play it for real?
55:49On a PlayStation?
55:50No, she was, right, it's a bad example, I'd rather do that as well.
55:53But, okay, let me put it this way. Whenever you go karting, okay, you're indoor karting, have you ever been in the kart and thought,
55:59I wish this thing had traction control? You never do, and that's what this is.
56:02It's a go-kart with a twin-turbo V8 engine at the back, and the best thing about it is, is that it gives other motorists at the traffic lights hope.
56:13Because it's got turbo lag. As you pull away, you can keep up with it.
56:18And you can turn to your wife and say, well, keeping up with that Ferrari, and she'll look up and go, what Ferrari, dear?
56:23No, no, there was one about it.
56:25As it's just gone. Now, it's a fabulous, wonderful, joyous experience to drive one of those.
56:31I think it's the best supercar ever made.
56:34But let's be honest, this one will be faster.
56:37Round the track? Yeah.
56:38Oh, well, not just faster than the F40. I have a suspicion it'll be faster, too, than the Porsche Carrera G2, which did 119.8.
56:46So, to find out, let's hand it over to the dark side of the Stig.
56:52And away he goes. Right, now, this is the big one for the Stig.
56:56Can he set the fastest time ever round our track with it?
57:02Look how flat it is through that corner. It's not rolling at all. That's unbelievable.
57:07Whoa! He's having to fight it a bit.
57:13Pink Floyd, of course. Kind of had to be, really.
57:16And round Chicago.
57:20Listen to that sound.
57:22Right, breaking down into the Hammerhead. He's going, twitching there, under-breaking.
57:26Keeping it tight, trying to correct the air of the steer with a bit of power.
57:30And still no roll.
57:31No roll.
57:37Right, here we go. He's going to have to lift for the follow-through. There's no way he's going to go flat-out through there.
57:42Not in that, not in a million years.
57:45Boy, as he's moving the tyres with the air, that thing's displacing.
57:48Right, fastest part on the track, probably up to about 140, 150 as he goes into the second-to-last corner.
57:54Very nice and tidy through there. Get across the line.
57:57Well, he's got one 19.8 to beat. That's what the Carrera GT did. He did it in one...
58:09Well, yeah, it would.
58:11...19...
58:13...dead.
58:15Whoa! That's it!
58:17That is the newest fastest ever round.
58:22That could be there for a while, wouldn't it?
58:24We don't...
58:26We don't know of another car in the pipeline, with the exception of the Bugatti Varian, which may never happen, which is ever going to be able to beat that.
58:33I mean, we just can't think of a thing that's coming that could get closer that time.
58:36That's unbelievable. So then, Mr F40 fan, going home tonight, you can take your car, but if you could take either one, would it still be the F40?
58:44Oh, no question I'd get home quicker in the F60. No question, but I would take the F40.
58:48You like it that much?
58:49I really do. I just think that the cars made when Mrs Thatcher was around, they were more fun. They just were... and the roads were quieter, and there were no speed cameras.
59:00It's just a shame she's gone mad, really.
59:02Anyway, that's it. Thank you very much for watching, and good night!
59:12And don't forget to vote in our Top Gear restoration competition. Telephone 09011 1110 835.
59:20More wedding stories on BBC 3 now, and on BBC 4, how sex, drugs and rock and roll upset Hollywood.
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