- 7 minutes ago
Another successful dodgy deal means Del has over a grand's worth of lead from a disused factory to get rid of. When Rodney points out the three tons of lead are in fact a D.I.Y nuclear holocaust preying on Rodney's nerves he asks Del what he'd do if he heard the four minute warning.
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00:03Stick a bunny in me pocket
00:06I'll fetch the suitcase from the van
00:09Cause if you are the best ones
00:12But you don't ask questions
00:14Then brother, I'm your man
00:17Cause where it all comes from is a mystery
00:21It's like the changing of the seasons
00:23And the tides of the sea
00:25But is the one that's driving me berserk
00:29Why do only fours and horses work
00:33La la la la
00:34La la la la la
00:36La la la la
00:55Well, this is it
00:57This is what?
00:57It's what I bought this morning
01:00What?
01:02This?
01:03The land?
01:05No, you plonker
01:08It's a pile of bricks
01:10And it cost me a hundred, Nicker
01:12Nice one, eh?
01:15Oh, shrewd move, Del, yeah
01:17I mean, people are panicked buying bricks nowadays, aren't they?
01:22Who do you think is going to buy a pile of old bricks off us?
01:25Oh, butcher or chemist?
01:28Who do you think is going to buy bricks?
01:30Builders, aren't they, eh?
01:32They have a 200% profit here
01:34And all in the readies
01:37Come here
01:41They've just demolished a factory here
01:43They've just demolished a factory here that used to make prefabricated structures, right?
01:47Chalets, bungalows, greenhouses, you know, garden sheds, that sort of a thing
01:50So I thought, using my noddle, that we'd make enough out of the bricks alone
01:56But you never know what's underneath, do you, eh?
01:58Decent lengths of timber, bits of metal
02:00You know, a few gross of them roofing tiles
02:07Come and see what I've found
02:25Get your feelers on there
02:30Hey, that's lead, Del
02:31That's pure lead
02:36There's about another 30 boxes underneath
02:38I estimate three tonne altogether
02:41Three tonne?
02:42What's that at today's prices?
02:44That's about £1,000, isn't it?
02:48Am I brilliant or am I brilliant?
02:50Let's get some of it on the van
02:52We can do it in three shifts
02:54Come on
02:56Is it ours, Del?
02:59Of course it's ours
03:01Legally, Del
03:04Don't split hairs with me, Rodney
03:08Come on
03:19Oh, that's a lot, Del, boy
03:23No, no, no, no, not there, Grandad, not there
03:25No, no, we've got three tonne of it here
03:27You see, you've got to spread it out over a wide area
03:29Otherwise we'll be having tea with Mrs Oboco downstairs
03:35Right, just hope all this humping and sweating is not disturbing, Your Royal Highness
03:40No, no, don't you mind me, you carry on
03:42Oh, thanks a lot
03:43Well, look at this, Grandad
03:45You've been carrying this one upside down
03:47This is the way
03:53You are a lazy little bark
03:55What's that you're reading, eh?
03:57It's another dirty book, I suppose, is it?
03:59Honestly, you've got a mind like a plain brown envelope
04:02I'll have a look at that when you're finished
04:04I've watched some paperwork I found in one of them boxes
04:06Do you know what we've got here?
04:08Yeah, I know what we've got here
04:08We've got a free tonne of lovely lead, that's what we've got here
04:11No, no, it's more than that
04:13That factory was producing prefabricated structures, right?
04:16Uh, bungalows, garden sheds, that sort of stuff
04:19Well, this is one of their experimental lines
04:21It's a do-it-yourself nuclear fallout shelter
04:25Nuclear fallout shelter?
04:29You are a wally
04:31No, it is, honest
04:33Look, here's the brochure
04:35Here's the plan, shows you how to build it
04:40He's right and all
04:41This is a nuclear fallout shelter
04:44This is probably worth more than we thought
04:45You can't sell it
04:47Don't want to put money on it, do you?
04:49What do you suggest we do with it, build it?
04:51Yeah
04:51Leave it out, Rodney
04:54Do you realise how close we come to World War III
04:56over Cuba, Vietnam, Afghanistan and Poland?
05:01I mean, it only takes one little rumble in the Middle East
05:03them missiles are going to start flying
05:05And what have we got here in this country
05:06to combat the might of the Soviet Union?
05:09Three jump jets and a strongly worded letter
05:11to the Russian ambassador
05:12No, no, no
05:13You don't know what we got up our sleeve, us Brits, Rodney
05:17Do you know that we got a device
05:18that can track the movements of any Russian nuclear submarine?
05:21They can't keep track on ours
05:23Yeah, we only got one
05:25Have we?
05:26Yeah, I think so
05:27Well, anyway, they don't know where it is
05:30Sometimes wonder whether we do
05:32Bet your life we don't
05:34You see, this country's just not prepared for war
05:37I mean, nobody knows what we're supposed to do in the event
05:39Yes, of course we do
05:42All right, then
05:43What would you do if you heard the four-minute warning?
05:46Well
05:48What's it sound like first?
05:50Well, that's it, innit?
05:51No-one knows
05:52Maybe they're going to ring church bells
05:53or bang tom-toms
05:55or send every ice cream van out in the country
05:57to play its jingle
05:58Your guess is as good as mine, innit?
06:00Do you realise the great powers
06:03have got underground salvos
06:04primed with enough nuclear weapon
06:05to destroy this planet
06:0730 times over?
06:10I'm talking about neutron bombs, Del
06:12Multi-warheads
06:14chemicals that attack your central nervous system
06:16and leave you
06:16writhing in agony
06:18like a worm in bleach
06:19Bit like you after a curry, you mean
06:22No, no
06:23It's all right, Rodney
06:24Don't worry
06:25Forget about it
06:26Look, we've got £1,000 here
06:28Just think what we could do with £1,000
06:30Eat, drink and be merry
06:32For tomorrow we die
06:34Oh, come on, Del
06:35This is a godsend
06:37If we build this thing
06:38we're going to be safe, aren't we?
06:40Everything's here
06:40The inner walls
06:41The outer walls
06:41The air tube
06:42The filter system
06:43Everything
06:44Oh, come on, Del
06:46Oh, sorry
06:48All right, sop
06:49Now, let's just suppose
06:51Just suppose
06:51that we do build this thing, right?
06:54Where are we going to put it?
06:55Well, you always fancied
06:56a little weekend place
06:57Why don't we find a spot
06:59in the New Forest?
07:02And now we're going to get
07:03from Peckham to the New Forest
07:04in four minutes
07:06You old div
07:08Grandad's allotment
07:09That's only a couple of miles up the road
07:11We could do that in four minutes
07:12Yeah, on a Sunday
07:13with a following wind
07:15Maybe
07:15Well, let's give it a go, eh?
07:17We'll have a dummy run
07:17and time ourselves
07:18I'll get me stopwatch
07:19What is the point, eh?
07:22All right
07:23So, say you can do it in four minutes
07:25What is it going to prove?
07:26Knowing them Russian rats
07:28they'll probably declare war
07:29in the middle of the rush hour
07:40Where's Grandad?
07:41I don't know
07:43Grandad
07:45Come on, you stupid old geese
07:59Three minutes and counting
08:00Yes, all right, Rodney
08:03Missiles are just going over Sweden
08:05Bloody fast, aren't they?
08:06They left Siberia 20 seconds ago
08:232 minutes 15 seconds and counting, Dale
08:25The missiles are over the sea
08:27and approaching Middlesbrough
08:28Yes, yes, all right, Rodney
08:29Put your foot down, dear boy
08:31I'm calm, Grandad
08:32Look, I'm coming to my main road, aren't I?
08:37What's it like your side, Rodney?
08:39All right, after this red one
08:44No!
08:45Yeah, I went that red one
08:48You tick, Rodney
08:52Come on, Dale
08:53We're just going over Luton
08:54Sod, Luton
08:571 minute 35 and counting
09:00Oh, God
09:29What's the...
09:31Wait!
09:32The siren!
09:33Quit's it off!
09:42He's young
09:43Enthusiastic
09:45Well, how are you then, Dale boy?
09:46Not too bad, Eric
09:47Tires yourself
09:48Can't complain
09:50How are you then, Grandad?
09:51All right, Eric boy
09:54Now, what's that all about?
09:5660 miles an hour in a built-up area
09:58You just heard the four-minute warning or something?
10:02Where's your tax disc?
10:03Fell off, did it?
10:04In the post
10:05Why have you got a little sign on your windscreen saying tax in post?
10:08We did have it fell off
10:10You've been at those funny fags again, Rodney?
10:13No, I haven't
10:14Good
10:14Because Wayne there's looking for his first nick
10:18Talking of that, Dale boy
10:19You might be able to help me
10:20I'm on the lookout for some stolen summer wear
10:24Short-sleeved shirts and blouses
10:26Men's and women's slacks
10:27Swimming trunks, bikinis
10:28Are you off to promotion, Eric?
10:30No
10:31Me and the wife are off to Corfu next month
10:33You've got to look at all, ain't you?
10:36Well, if I hear of anything, I'll let you know
10:38Good luck
10:39I'll see you around
10:41Annoyed
10:42Take it easy, will you?
10:47Stop playing with that siren, will you, Wayne?
10:49You'll end up breaking
10:52Yeah, how are we doing for time?
10:57We died 45 seconds ago
11:00Terrific
11:00We're never going to do this run in four minutes
11:02It don't matter
11:03It's not the end of the world, is it?
11:05I thought that's exactly what it was
11:07What have you got to think about as a place closer to home?
11:10I've been thinking
11:11Oh, my God, you haven't got an aspirin you can give him, have you, Rodney?
11:14Oh, listen, I may have found us just the spot
11:20Is that door shut tight, Bill?
11:23Yes, don't worry, Rodders
11:24No radiation can get in here
11:27Here, what's this pipe?
11:31Hold it back, Bill, it's fragile
11:33Don't, don't do it
11:35Bill, this is our air filter
11:37Our lifeline
11:38This is our umbilical cord
11:40And one thing you must never do with an umbilical cord
11:42Is bash it about with an hammer
11:44I see
11:45So this is our only source of oxygen, is it, eh?
11:48What happens if a pigeon decides to nest in the other end?
11:51We're all dead, I suppose, are we?
11:52Statistics prove that pigeons rarely nest in the middle of nuclear wars
11:56We're not in the middle of a nuclear war
11:58We're practising for one
11:59Yeah, well, do the bloody pigeons know that?
12:01Look, a pigeon will not nest in our air tube
12:04Have faith in me, please
12:05How can you have faith in him, dear old boy?
12:08It brings me telly in here
12:09Then he finds out the signals can't get through the lead
12:13I've said I'm sorry
12:14And I, granddad, there's some pages missing out of this brochure
12:17And you can't expect me to know everything, can you?
12:19Anyway, that's why we're having this weekend's practice, isn't it?
12:22So we can iron out all the little wrinkles
12:23Yeah, well, I'll tell you one thing we've got iron out
12:26And that is, this has got to be back on that building site
12:29First thing Monday morning
12:32Otherwise them paddies will go mad
12:45You, you are a wally, you really are
12:49You don't have to stay here, Del
12:51I do have to stay here
12:53I'll tell you why I have to stay here
12:54I've got £1,000 worth of lead tied up in this shelter
12:56And I'm not leaving it in your hands
12:58Knowing you two, you'd probably lose it
13:02Just think what I could do with £1,000, eh?
13:06Fly to America on Concorde
13:08I could buy myself one of them Flash Rollox watches
13:15Have me adenoids taken out, privately
13:17Yeah, but how many people can boast they've got their own private nuclear fallout shelter
13:22Yeah, that's true
13:24Knowing our luck, there won't even be a bloody war
13:28Yeah, that's what we ought to do, you know
13:29We ought to drop a bomb on all them Russian cities, you see
13:32And then declare war on them
13:34What we say is that the declaration for war got held up in a post
13:37Due to a communist-inspired strike at the sorting office
13:42Yeah, that is typical of a ruthless little mercenary like you, isn't it?
13:46What do you mean, ruthless mercenary? I'm not a ruthless mercenary
13:48Who is it goes round the estate at every Christmas time
13:51Making sure all the old people have got enough to eat and drink?
13:53Yeah, and who was it during the Brixton riots
13:56Drove down in the van selling paving stones to the rioters?
14:01I mean, what did you think they were going to do with them, eh?
14:04Or run off home and start building patios?
14:07Mine is not to reason why
14:10Mine is but to sell and buy
14:14No, anyway
14:15Anyway, I know a lot of them youngsters down here in Brixton
14:18And their trouble is frustration
14:20Yes, you see, modern society has denied them the birthright of a war
14:24Oh, I don't believe you
14:26Are you saying wars are birthright?
14:28Oh, yes
14:28Yes, it is
14:30For century after century, you see
14:33Every generation of British youth has been guaranteed a decent war
14:37But that sort of, you know, roar
14:40Over the top chaps, you know
14:42Try that one, four-sized fritz
14:43I mean, that sort of courage is obsolete
14:46Because the next war is going to be fought by computer programmers
14:50See, that's what's frustrating the modern youth
14:52You can see them any day down there in amusement arcades
14:55You know, they're doing their national service
14:57On the space invaders
15:00Yeah, but that sort of, that sort of real war that I'm talking about
15:04You know, Errol Flynn
15:05Leading the gallant 600 into the valley of death
15:09John Mills, marooned in a thingy
15:12It's Kenneth Moore
15:13Refusing to let a little thing like No Legs get him down
15:19It's a glorious, valiant war, that
15:22Don't talk like a Burkdell
15:24Do what?
15:24What do you know about it anyway?
15:26The only war you ever fought is the Inch War
15:29Eh?
15:30No, I've seen all the films, haven't I?
15:32Well, Tomato Sauce and Stump Men
15:34I'm talking about the real fiend
15:36I remember when I was a little nipper
15:38And I saw the soldiers marching off to battle
15:41Oh, yes
15:42It was a glorious sight, all right
15:45Yeah, I bet all them spears and chariots must have stirred the blood, wasn't they?
15:49Just hear him out, will you?
15:51Yeah, all right, all right
15:52My brother George was at Passchendaele
15:54Now, on half a million Allied troops died there
15:58All for five miles of mud
16:00I was at King's Cross Station when his regiment come home after the armistice
16:06Most of them was carried off the train
16:09I saw men with limbs missing
16:12Blind men
16:14Men who couldn't breathe properly
16:17Because their lungs had been shot to bits by mustard gas
16:21While the nation celebrated
16:23They was hidden away in big grey buildings
16:27Far from the public gaze
16:29I mean
16:31Courage like that could put you right off your victory dinner, couldn't it?
16:37They promised us homes fit for heroes
16:40They give us heroes
16:42They give us heroes
16:43Fit for homes
16:48I'd never wear a British uniform on principle
16:52What principle?
16:54Well, on the principle that the Russians might shoot at it
16:59The politicians
17:01The politicians and the military men used to con, you see
17:05They had little lads, youngsters
17:07Believing that their country really did need them
17:10Do you know, they used to have little lads of 14
17:12Pretending they was 18
17:14Just so they could fight for their king and country
17:17Well, they accepted the little sprogs
17:20More often than not
17:21My brother George lied about his age
17:24Pretended he was 18?
17:26No, he was 18
17:27He pretended he was 14
17:30They saw through it, though
17:32I think it was the moustache
17:36Yeah, because 14-year-olds, they don't
17:40Bloody hell
17:47Oi! Oi, what are you doing?
17:50I think there's a pigeon trying to nest in our air tube
17:54I think I've frightened it away now, don't worry
17:58Battery's getting a bit low and all
18:12Here
18:13These batteries you've got here, how long do they last?
18:16About 12 hours each
18:1712 hours?
18:18We've been here 12 hours
18:20Only another 36 to go
18:22Don't time fly when you're having fun
18:26Here
18:27Here, Oppenheimer
18:29Listen, if the bomb was to drop round here
18:31How long would we have to stay inside this thing here?
18:35Well, it depends upon the degree of the contamination in the air outside
18:39Because we're in a very vulnerable position here
18:41Being so close to the docks
18:42But I would say roughly
18:45Give or take a week or two
18:46About two years
18:49Two years?
18:51Yeah, give or take a week or two
18:53If you think I'm staying in a lead-lined dizzanut
18:56With you and grandad
18:57And a chemical bloody carzy
18:59You've got another thing coming
19:01Yeah, but if we leave the shelter within two years
19:03We'll die of radiation poisoning
19:05And if we stay inside the shelter for two years
19:08We'll die of bloody lead poisoning
19:09Yeah, he's right, Rodney
19:11The rescue team will whip a straight round to the nearest scrap metal yard
19:15Yeah
19:15Yeah, that's another point
19:17That's a point
19:17Listen
19:17Oi, these batteries that are supposed to purify the air, right
19:20They last 12 hours, right?
19:23Okay
19:23How many of them are we going to need?
19:25Come on, Einstein
19:26You're the one with the GCEs and the maths
19:28Well, it's two a day
19:31Seven days a week
19:33Two sevens of fourteen
19:34Oh, see that grandad?
19:36Two sevens of fourteen
19:37Just like that, no hesitation
19:38Shut up, will ya?
19:40So, that's fourteen times fifty-two
19:44Twice
19:44I know
19:47So, that works out at about
19:49One thousand four hundred and fifty odd
19:53Well, that's not too bad
19:54I thought we were going to need a lot
19:57So, what we're going to need is
19:59One thousand four hundred and fifty odd
20:01Heavy duty batteries
20:02About five tonne of canned food
20:04Thirty thousand gallons of fresh drinking water
20:07And a three and a half acre warehouse
20:09To store it all in
20:11Well, I did say we'd have to wind out a few little wrinkles
20:14Didn't I?
20:15A few little wrinkles?
20:16A few little wrinkles?
20:17We've got more wrinkles than an elephant's got in his bleeding trunk
20:22All in all, in taking everything into consideration, Rodney
20:25I think I'd rather be outside and go instantly with the bomb
20:28Instantly, eh?
20:29And what makes you so sure it'll be instant, eh, Del?
20:32Them bombs contain strontium-90, not an escaf, eh?
20:36You see, the bomb explodes about a mile above the city, right?
20:39Causing a radioactive rain to fall
20:41Now, this radiation then penetrates the pores of the skin
20:44Causing violent sores and diseases
20:46Best not to wear anything decent, then, eh?
20:49Will you be serious for one minute?
20:51Yeah
20:51Look, it's here
20:52Once the radiation is in the bloodstream
20:55It begins to attack your metabolism
20:57You become subject to drastic biological changes
21:01That's metamorphosis
21:02Oh, yeah
21:04Yeah
21:05Yeah
21:05Anyway
21:06Your shape and form will alter radically
21:09As the mutation takes effect
21:10Don't sound too promising, do it, Del boy?
21:14I mean, you have a job to get a suit off the peg now, don't you?
21:19All right, all right, you can laugh
21:21But I'm telling you
21:22This city would be inhabited by roaming mobs of mutants
21:25Vacant-eyed subhumans
21:27Dragging their knuckles through the litter and debris
21:30That was once civilisation
21:32Sounds a bit like Stamford Bridge after a bad result
21:35Look, if this is true, Rodney
21:37What the hell are we doing trying to survive?
21:40Well, it's our duty, innit?
21:42I mean, when we step out of here
21:43We're going to be intact
21:44Perfect
21:49Yeah, well, I mean, you know
21:50The human race would be looking to people like us, anyway
21:52To replenish the species
21:54We'll be like two new atoms
21:56Going forth to multiply
21:58Yeah, and you, you dirty little ram
22:02We'll be out there multiplying quicker than a pocket calculator
22:06I see it all now
22:07I see it all now
22:08He's practically praying for the end of civilisation
22:11Just so he can get out there and put it about a bit
22:14What time do you make it, Rodney?
22:16Ten past twelve
22:17Yeah, sorry, I'll make it that too
22:19Come on then, Grandad
22:19It's bedtime, come on
22:21Well, as the saying goes
22:22If my species needs me
22:23I will not be found wanting
22:25Yeah, I bet
22:27Anyway, it's one thing to look forward to, innit, Grandad
22:30You know, come the end of the war
22:32Me and Rodney are going to make a foursome
22:34With a couple of mutants
22:36I'll have the one with the three lug holes
22:38And the eye underneath her arm
22:39Because I don't fancy yours much
22:41I won't be like that
22:44You bet your sweet Bippy hit one
22:46Won't make much difference to you, anyway
22:47You go out with mutants in peacetime
22:50I mean, look at that thing that you took out on Thursday
22:53God, stroll on
22:54I was so embarrassed
22:55I had to tell my mates
22:56That you were taking it to market
22:58I did try and warn you
22:59It's a bit ragged
23:00A bit ragged
23:01You liar
23:02You said to me
23:04It looked like the one out of the Abba
23:06Yeah
23:06I meant the one with the beard
23:09Anyway
23:10We won't be the only ones
23:11To survive the holocaust intact, were we?
23:13I mean, I'm thinking of the various institutions
23:15Public schools
23:16That sort of thing
23:17I mean, you bet your life
23:19Rodney's got a shelter
23:21How you doing?
23:23A thousand new bar girls
23:25In a shelter
23:27In school uniform
23:32You sicko
23:34No, no, don't misunderstand me
23:36I mean, the school uniforms are of no importance whatsoever
23:38I don't know why I mentioned them
23:40No, no
23:40It's probably because you're a twisted, perverted, corrupted, warped little pervo
23:45Well, yeah, that might have something to do with it
23:48It's in the line of duty, Del
23:49They're perfect specimens
23:51They're intelligent
23:52Of course they're intelligent
23:53They're still at bloody school, aren't they?
23:56Well, they fit
23:56All that hockey
24:00You might fancy the headmistress
24:01Oh, thank you very much
24:06Well, I think it's definitely worth bearing in mind in an emergency
24:15Yeah, all right
24:16Well, good night, Rodney
24:17Good night, Del
24:19Night, Grandad
24:20Good night, Del
24:23Night, Grandad
24:24Good night, Rodney
24:28Night, John, boy
24:28Shut up
24:30Shut up
25:02Or was it Aldi Murphy?
25:05I don't know
25:06I'm tired
25:09It must have been one of them
25:11Well, perhaps they both bloody said it
25:13Go to sleep, will you?
25:18Well, that was Rock Hudson
25:20For crying out loud
25:21Will you two go to sleep?
25:32Rodney?
25:35Yeah, Rodney
25:38Don't keep your eyes closed
25:39I'm talking to you
25:40What?
25:41Well, I've just been thinking
25:42Might not be a bad idea
25:44To survive the next war after all
25:46Well, you got something up your sleeve, Del
25:48No, no, no
25:48Just a little idea
25:49That's been running around
25:50Me old brain box
25:51That's all
25:51What's the point?
25:53All the animals will be dead
25:55Won't be able to grow nothing
25:57Because all the earth will be contaminated
26:00Where are we going to get something to eat?
26:03Bound to be a little packy shop open somewhere
26:09But we won't be the only ones to survive, will we?
26:12I was just thinking about all them girls
26:13Down at that Rodine school
26:16No, no, no
26:17Nothing like that
26:18Nothing like that
26:18I was just thinking, you see
26:19Most of those girls down there
26:21They are the daughters of the Noblers
26:26The Noblers
26:28The Noblers
26:30French for nobility, isn't it, eh?
26:33Oh, sorry, I was miles off
26:35Well, you see, down there
26:38You don't know who's who, do you?
26:39I mean, you could meet a scruffy 17-year-old
26:41In a sweaty hockey shirt
26:43And muddy plimsolls
26:44And you could be talking to
26:46The 459th in line for the throne
26:50But after the old Russians
26:51Had dropped 20,000 nuclear bombs on us
26:53That scruffy 17-year-old
26:56Could turn out to be first in line for the throne
26:59So, you see, if I got on me bike
27:03Whipped down there a bit sharpish
27:04Like, did me Adam's axe
27:06Splash a brute
27:07You know, took her out for a steak meal
27:10Loads of charm
27:12I could end up being the king
27:16On the other hand
27:17A bit of mutation
27:18A touch of strontium 90
27:19I could end up being the queen
27:24But either way
27:25Either ways
27:25It wouldn't matter
27:26Because the tax man
27:28Wouldn't be able to get at me
27:28Would he, eh?
27:29Because I would be the head of state
27:33And what with you out there
27:34Multiplying all over the place
27:36I shouldn't be short of a few subjects
27:38Should I, eh?
27:39Ha, ha, ha
27:39Ha, ha, ha
27:40Ha, ha, ha
27:41Ha, ha, ha, ha
27:42We could, we could go for our holidays
27:44In Mustique
27:45Ha, ha, ha, ha
27:47Hey, hey
27:47What, what?
27:48Grandad could be Queen Mother
27:50Ha, ha, ha
27:52Ha, ha, ha
27:54We'll dye his hat pink
27:55Ha, ha, ha
27:58Yeah
27:59Anyway
28:00No, I mean
28:01Even if that didn't happen
28:02And I can't honestly see
28:04How I could fail
28:06You see
28:07If the entire civilisation
28:09Was wiped out
28:11We'd all be equal
28:12Wouldn't we?
28:13Because none of us
28:14Would have nothing
28:15Right?
28:16Right
28:17Except us Rodders
28:20Well, what'd we have, Del?
28:23A grand's worth of lead
28:26Eh?
28:27Pretty shrewd, eh, Rodney?
28:29Yeah
28:29It's a real mind-bender, Del, that
28:31Yeah
28:33No, no, we'll be all right
28:35We'll survive, Rodney
28:37You know why?
28:38Because we're survivors
28:39That's why
28:40Yeah
28:43When the old alarm bells start ringing
28:45And the old missiles start firing
28:47And all the people are rushing about
28:49Like mad mice
28:50Trying to find somewhere to hide
28:52We'll be tucked up
28:53In our own little nuclear shelter
28:56Yeah
28:58The end of the world
28:59Could be just the break
29:00We're looking for
29:03Oh, we're pretty shrewd, Rodney
29:05Because they started dropping the bomb on us right now
29:09We'd be as safe as ours is, brother
29:12Safe as ours is
29:22We've got some half-class black tanks
29:24Among some numbers of carpet tiles
29:26TVs, deep freeze
29:27And David Bowie OPs
29:29Pool games, gold chains
29:30Wuss names
29:31And Edda Push
29:32And Trevor Francis
29:33Track suits
29:33From a mush
29:34And Shepard's Bush
29:35Bush, Bush, Bush, Bush, Bush, Bush, Bush
29:41No money back
29:42No guarantee
29:43Black or white
29:45Rich or broke
29:47A wheel cut prices
29:49And a straw
29:51God bless
29:53Hookie Street
29:54Viva
29:56Hookie Street
29:57Long live
29:59Hookie Street
30:00Same
30:01Magnifique
30:02Hookie Street
30:03Magnifique
30:05Hookie Street
30:08Hookie Street
30:12Hookie Street
30:13Hookie Street
30:13Hookie Street
30:13Hookie Street
30:13Hookie Street
30:13Hookie Street
30:13Hookie Street
30:13Hookie Street
30:14Hookie Street
30:14Hookie Street