- 3 days ago
Eager to forge new business contacts, Del befriends Vimmal Malik, a wealthy businessman who seems eager to work with Trotters Independent Traders. After a dance at the Camberwell Chamber of Trade, Del and Vimmal are cornered by Mr Ram and his heavy boys.
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00:03Stick a bunny in me pocket
00:06I'll fetch the suitcase from the van
00:09Cause if you are the best
00:12But you don't ask questions
00:14Then brother, I'm your man
00:17Cause where it all comes from is a mystery
00:21It's like the changing of the seasons
00:24And the tides of the sea
00:25But is the one that's driving me berserk
00:29Why do only fools and horses work
00:33La-la-la-la
00:34La-la-la-la-la
00:37La-la-la-la-la
00:59La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
01:03-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
01:11-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
01:12-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
01:20-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
01:21-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
01:26Look, I've got the Vauxhall Velox outside, haven't I, eh?
01:29And I've had a few, you know what I mean, a few drinky poos.
01:32And I thought to myself, well, I could get a little old minicab.
01:35And then I thought to myself, no, no, no.
01:37What is more impressive?
01:38It's more impressive if you get your driver to come round and drive you home in your Vauxhall Velox.
01:46What do you mean impressive, eh?
01:48Who are you trying to impress?
01:49Shh.
01:50Contact.
01:51I need contact.
01:53New man in the area, stone rich, looking for business opportunities.
02:01We could earn out of this, Rodney, my little brother.
02:04Del, what you fail to realise is when you phoned, I was in the flat with a friend.
02:10Well, why didn't you bring him with you?
02:11It wasn't a he.
02:13Well, what was it then?
02:16Have you been up to noughties, Rodney?
02:18No.
02:19Just had a feeling something was going to develop.
02:22Developed?
02:22You've been playing with my Polaroid again, haven't you, eh?
02:24No.
02:27I'll just let go of course, Derek.
02:29All right, no rush.
02:30Vimont, my own mucker.
02:32Who?
02:34Vimont.
02:35Vimont Malik.
02:37My contact.
02:39Say no more.
02:44See, he said she can't come now because she's way in the postman.
02:50Here, do you fancy a nightcap, Vimont?
02:53And a nice little pub that does late tastings, eh?
02:59Thought you'd given me the slip, did you, Vimont?
03:02Well, why don't you go away and leave me alone?
03:06I have no quarrel with you, my friend.
03:10It's the pigs behind Malik that I wish to see.
03:14Friend of yours, is it, Vimont?
03:17He's no one's friend.
03:19Listen, John, I don't know what this Barney is all about and I don't want to know.
03:24So why don't you chaps get out of the way before someone gets a smack in the ear?
03:29All right?
03:29Please, don't threaten me with violence, my friend.
03:34My colleague here is a second Dan in karate.
03:39And I'm a black belt in origami.
03:44Get out of the way.
04:01Watch him, Dill.
04:02Watch his carry-tary, mate.
04:04Watch your bloody carry-tary in a minute, Ronnie.
04:06Just shut up, will you?
04:12Police.
04:20You and Vimont, in the car, quick.
04:22Right, let's go.
04:25Well, it's been very pleasant meeting you both.
04:29Have a nice evening, won't you?
04:31My friend, it's not good to part in such circumstances.
04:36Could we talk?
04:38I've done all the talking I wanted to.
04:42A good night, each.
04:48Rodney, I didn't mean drive off.
04:51What a plonker.
04:57Well, on second thoughts, I quite fancy a nice little chat.
05:01Perhaps you could drop me off home after.
05:06Oh, oh dear.
05:08Come on, me old mate.
05:09Come on.
05:11You'll be all right.
05:12You'll be all right.
05:14Here, what happened?
05:26Yeah, John, that is twice, all right?
05:32Oh, I think your brother has arrived, Mr. Trotter.
05:35I...
05:36Oh, yeah, yeah.
05:37Could you excuse me a minute, Mr. Rahm?
05:39Excuse me.
05:41Rodney.
05:41Dill!
05:42Are you all right, son?
05:43I thought you was in bother.
05:44Oh, that's why it's taken you an hour and a half to get here, is it?
05:47Didn't Grandad tell you that I'd telephoned?
05:49Oh, yeah, he told me.
05:50Dill boy's been captured by the Indians, you see.
05:52I didn't know where to phone the police or the Texas Rangers.
05:55Oh, yes.
05:56When you were so worried about your brother, you know, you were so worried about me.
05:59How come it's taken you till 20 to 1 in the morning to come to me rescue?
06:02Because your telephone message lacked something in clarity, didn't it?
06:05You didn't tell Grandad which Indian restaurant you was in.
06:08I've been crashing through the doors of every curry house and takeaway from Battersea Bridge
06:12to Collierswood Tube Station.
06:14I can now leap out of that Vauxhall Velick's Dukes of Hazard fashion,
06:17make a jip party and say, get stuffed in Urdu.
06:20I forgive you, Rodney.
06:22Oh, that's nice.
06:22All right, then.
06:23So, you're going to be trouble, is there?
06:25There's...
06:26No, no, put the spoon down.
06:28Go for that.
06:29All right.
06:30Come on.
06:31Uh, Rodney, I would like you to meet Mr. Rahm.
06:34He owns this restaurant.
06:36Of course, you know Oddjob, don't you?
06:39Well, nice restaurant you got here, Mr. Rahm.
06:42Very, uh...
06:44Indian.
06:45Yeah, Indian.
06:47Sit down, sit down.
06:48I was just telling your brother how well I've done since I came from Britain.
06:52I now own 18 of these restaurants altogether.
06:55I also own a lot of plants.
06:57Yeah, yeah.
06:58Oddjob's got a couple of acres and all, hasn't he?
07:02It is.
07:03Hey.
07:04How do you dare go, more job?
07:06You know.
07:08I'm telling you, now, if I got into my car at nine o'clock in the morning,
07:12it would take me up to two in the afternoon to drive around my land.
07:16Yeah?
07:16We had a car like that once, hey?
07:19What?
07:20All right, don't matter.
07:22So, Mr. Rahm, you and this, uh, Vimmel, you've been having a bit of a nut and a downer, then,
07:26have you?
07:26Don't mention that name at this table.
07:28It will sour the food.
07:30Oh, what's it all about, then?
07:31I'll tell you what it's all about, Mr. Trotter.
07:34It's about truth.
07:36It's about righteousness.
07:37But, above all, it's about justice.
07:41Vimmel, that, that pig's behind, has something that's rightfully mine.
07:48You see, our families have been engaged in a vendetta for many, many years.
07:53It goes right back to the days of the old empire.
07:55You mean to British empire, not to Kilburn?
07:58I know.
07:58I know that.
07:59I know that.
08:00Pray continue.
08:01Now, my family fought against the British, whereas the Moloch's family supported them.
08:09When the conquest of Mother India was finally complete, the British Raj decided to reward the Moloch's loyalty by giving
08:17them my family's land.
08:19What?
08:20You mean they just took it off your family?
08:22That's correct.
08:23They destroyed the home, they plundered the family's temple, and then they sold the land.
08:29Are you sure?
08:29The Moloch's have built a business empire with the proceeds.
08:33Phew.
08:34Yeah, couldn't you write to that's life?
08:37To that's life?
08:38Yeah.
08:39But this happened a century ago, Mr Trotter.
08:42If Lord Krishna himself couldn't help us, I really don't think Esther Ransom would stand my chance.
08:48No, no, that's right.
08:49I was just a fool.
08:49That was...
08:50Oi!
08:50Get off.
08:51Vimmel Moloch has in his possession the one single item that remains of my birthright.
08:58It's a simple porcelain statuette of Kauera.
09:03You know of Kauera?
09:04Oh, yeah.
09:08You don't know who Kauera is?
09:11Yes, I do.
09:13All right, then tell us.
09:34Kauera was one of India's premier wicket-keepers.
09:42Kauera is the Hindu god of wealth from the second aspect of the Trimurti, the Hindu trinity.
09:48Oh, yeah.
09:49Oh, that Kauera.
09:50Oh, yeah.
09:50Got you now.
09:51Yeah, yeah.
09:51There's two of them.
09:52In worldly terms, the statuette is of little value.
09:56But in religious and sentimental terms, it's precious to me and I want it back.
10:01It's mine by right.
10:04I'm a rich man, Mr. Trotter.
10:05I shouldn't have to stoop to the kind of intimidation you witness tonight.
10:11I'm prepared to buy it back from Vimmel Moloch.
10:13I would pay £4,000.
10:21£4,000?
10:23Yeah.
10:24Well, why don't you just go and make him an offer?
10:26Oh, it's impossible.
10:27It's this wretched caste system, you see.
10:29He belongs to the high caste and I belong to the low caste.
10:33No, no, don't put yourself down.
10:34We cannot meet, talk or communicate in any manner.
10:38So, you see, my friends, I'm up a gum tree without a paddle.
10:43It seems to me, Mr. Ronald, what you need is a mutual friend, you know.
10:47Someone who can talk to the both of you, you know, act as a sort of go-between.
10:51Perhaps you and your brother.
10:54Us?
10:55What?
10:57I suppose we could.
10:59Oh, my God.
11:00Why didn't we think of that, Rodney?
11:01I think one of us already did, though.
11:04If you helped me to reclaim the statuette, I don't know how I'd ever reward you.
11:10Well, I've always fancied one of them video recorders.
11:12But no, no, par de bar.
11:14Par de bar.
11:16We'll go and see this Mr. Vimal tomorrow.
11:19Um, £4,000, you said, right?
11:22Right.
11:23Oh, but I must make one thing quite clear.
11:28I don't trust this man, Vimal Malik.
11:31You see, he comes from a long line of swindlers.
11:34I won't part with a single penny until I have the statuette safely in my hands.
11:41Don't you worry.
11:43Don't worry, Mr. Rom.
11:44Me and Vimal.
11:45We're like that.
11:47Good job that we didn't call the police tonight.
11:54What happened?
11:57I'm surprised that you, Derek, and you also, Rodney.
12:01How could you share a meal with that, that gutter dog?
12:04I thought you were my friends.
12:06We are your friends, Vimal, my old mucker.
12:09Just trust me, will you?
12:10Trust me.
12:12You see, this Mr. Rom, uh, the gutter dog,
12:16um, well, he told us all about the little misunderstanding
12:18that your two families have been having for the last hundred years or so.
12:22He also mentioned something about the statue of some god or another.
12:28Aquvera, the god of wealth.
12:29Ah, that's him.
12:30That's the boy.
12:30Yeah, well, yeah, well, you know, um, well, without beating around a bush, um,
12:40you know, I mean, well, you know, to cut a long story short, um, well,
12:48not to put too fine a point on it.
12:51He wants to buy it off you.
12:52He wants to buy it off you.
12:57Buy it from me?
12:59He must have gone mad, or he's been eating too many of his own curries.
13:03Buy it from me, indeed.
13:05I wouldn't sell it to him if he offered me a million pounds.
13:09How much did he offer?
13:10Purely out of curiosity, you understand.
13:12Yeah, two thousand pounds.
13:14Two, I thought Mr. Rom said...
13:15Yeah, a thousand pounds, that is right, Rodney.
13:17But I persuaded him to double it.
13:19Two thousand pounds.
13:21No, no, no, I can't sell it to him.
13:23Mm, two thousand pounds, Vimal, my old mucker.
13:26You know, not be sneezed at it, is it, eh?
13:28I will not deny that I'm tempted, Derek.
13:31I thought of selling the statue once before.
13:33The most I was offered was one hundred and fifty pounds.
13:37Oh, look, Vimal.
13:39You see, I get the impression that you're not quite as rich and successful
13:43as you told me you were last night at the Chamber of Trade Bash.
13:46I mean, take a look at this place.
13:48It's oddly the Ritz, is it, eh?
13:51More like the Nets.
13:53I will admit I have suffered some misfortunes in my business dealings of late.
13:58Son, two grand on the hip would come in dead handy, eh?
14:02Two thousand pounds would come in dead handy, as you say.
14:05But I can't communicate with him.
14:07I'm of a high caste.
14:09He's a low caste.
14:10But you don't have to communicate with him, Vimal, my old mucker.
14:13That's where me and Rodders come in, you see.
14:14We're acting as the go-betweens.
14:17Even so, I cannot accept his offer.
14:20You see, it would be like betraying my family.
14:22The statue was left to me by my father.
14:25You wouldn't understand what that means, would you?
14:27Oh, yes, yes, we would.
14:28Wouldn't we, Rodney?
14:29Would we, though?
14:30Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah.
14:31Our late mother, well, she's dead now.
14:37She left us this family heirloom.
14:39It was this Victorian globe.
14:43It meant the world to us.
14:48Since he said it meant the world to us.
14:50Yeah, but there came the time when we fell upon stony ground.
14:54We fell upon stony ground, did we?
14:55Yes, we fell upon stony ground.
14:57And the only thing we had of any value was this Victorian globe that we cherished.
15:03You sold it?
15:04Well, no, no, no, I raffled it down a betting shop.
15:07But, of course, you understand the sense of loss.
15:09Well, not really, no, because by some stroke of fortune,
15:12they'll add the winning ticket.
15:15Yeah, I think it was God or something.
15:18You think I should sell it to him, Derek?
15:20Yes, of course I do, vim on my own mucker.
15:22I mean, what is it?
15:23It's just an ancient piece of old religious pottery.
15:27Right?
15:27And with 2,000 pounds, wisely invested.
15:30I mean, in a couple of years, you could replace it with, uh, um, who knows, uh, what?
15:35Oh, Capo Del Monte.
15:37Yeah.
15:38And personally.
15:39Anyway, I'm not, I'm sorry.
15:40I've got to tell you this.
15:42But I think that statue is cursed.
15:44Cursed?
15:45Oh, leave it out, Del.
15:47Do not underestimate the powers of darkness, Rodney.
15:50I mean, for a god of wealth, he ain't done Vimal no favours, has he, eh?
15:54Well, I'm not a superstitious man, Derek, but I'm a businessman and a realist.
15:58I have decided to accept his offer.
16:01Well, you know it makes sense, Vimal.
16:04I'll go and fetch the statue.
16:05Yeah.
16:06Good man.
16:10Now, just what...
16:11You'll excuse me, won't you?
16:12Oh, certainly, yes.
16:15Now, just what is your game, Del?
16:17Rahm offered 4,000.
16:18How come you're only offering two?
16:19Slip of the tongue, Rodney.
16:20Ah, so when he comes back, you won't mind me telling him the truth?
16:23No, don't you do that.
16:24Otherwise, you think I'm trying to con him.
16:26You are trying to con him.
16:28No man is an island, Rodney.
16:29I know that, Del.
16:30What I'm on about is the...
16:33What's that supposed to mean?
16:34What it mean...
16:35What it...
16:36Look, the French have a saying, Rodney.
16:39Bully buoys mon ami.
16:41Bully buoys mon ami.
16:43That means fish stew, my friend.
16:47Need I say more?
16:47Now, don't try and fog me off with your stupid French phrases.
16:51You're trying to con him out of 2,000 quid.
16:53We're going to get lumbered, Del.
16:54Ow.
16:56All right.
16:56Say, Rahm and Vimmel meet and discuss the deal.
16:59That's the beauty of it.
17:00Rahm and Vimmel cannot meet because of the wonderful caste system.
17:03It's Christmas come early for us.
17:05And anyway, if it wasn't for kind-hearted people like you and me,
17:08willing to act as go-betweens,
17:09Vimmel would end up with nothing.
17:11And as it is, 2,000 pounds is better than to kick up the bot from Bobby Charlton, isn't it,
17:15eh?
17:15It's moral.
17:16It's free enterprise.
17:18It's illegal, then.
17:19All right, so it's against the law and all.
17:21But, look, you and I can earn 1,000 pounds apiece out of this.
17:25It's fraud.
17:26Are you in?
17:28Yeah, all right.
17:29All right.
17:36Oh, well, this is it, is it, Vimmel, my old mucker?
17:41Oh, yeah, lovely.
17:42Oh, that is lovely, that.
17:45Wonderful workmanship.
17:46Of course, I'm a Ming fan myself, you know.
17:48Oh, yeah, he made some wonderful stuff, didn't he, that Ming?
17:51Yeah.
17:52He went and died when he did, didn't he?
17:54Ming was a dynasty, Derek.
17:56I don't care what he was of him, well, he made a smashing vase.
17:59Anyway, look, we'll pop this round to Mr. Rahm and bring you back your 2,000 pounds, post-aste, as
18:05they say in ancient Rome, all right?
18:07No, no, no, Derek.
18:07This does not leave my side until his money's on the table, all right?
18:12No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
18:14No, sorry, look, you don't understand, you see, because he said that you won't get a penny until he has
18:20that statue safely in his hands, all right?
18:22I don't care what he said, Derek.
18:24I do not trust the man.
18:25He comes from a long line of cheats.
18:28You bring me his money first, then you can take him the statue.
18:32No, but you see, no, you see, he said, he said, bring me the statue, and then you can have
18:39the money.
18:40I don't care what he said, Derek.
18:41You don't care what he said, Derek.
18:43Yes, I heard what he said.
18:45I'll leave Rodney as a deposit.
18:46Eh?
18:48Well, what else can I do?
18:50I mean, look, he won't let that go until he gets the money, and he won't have the money until
18:53he gets the...
18:53Oh, Gordon Bennett.
18:57This is classic, this is, isn't it, eh?
18:59It's the bacon and the egg situation all over again.
19:01It's the chicken and the egg, then.
19:02We haven't got time to discuss food, Rodney.
19:05Talk to him, Derek.
19:06Persuade him to submit to my terms.
19:08After all, you have influence over him.
19:11You have already persuaded him to double his offer from 1,000 to 2,000 pounds.
19:15Yeah, well, mm, all right, all right, mm.
19:18All right, Vimmel, I'll see what I can do, then, shall I?
19:20Yeah.
19:21Well, um, you know, I'll, uh, I'll get back to you, all right?
19:25You know, you, uh, all right?
19:27Stay loose, okay?
19:29Come on.
19:31Now, don't you worry, Vimmel, don't worry.
19:33I mean, me and old Rahm, I mean, we're like that.
19:35We're like, we're like, we're like that, yeah.
19:38Two things, come on.
19:43What are we going to do now?
19:45Just forget the old thing.
19:46What do you mean, forget the old thing?
19:47How can we forget the old thing?
19:482,000 pounds up for grabs and you say forget it?
19:51No, no, there's got to be another way around it.
19:53There isn't.
19:53Look, Rahm won't pay a penny till he's got the statuette in his hands
19:56and Vimmel won't let the statuette go till he's got Rahm's money.
19:59Yeah.
20:00Cheers.
20:01Yeah, what he thinks is Rahm's money.
20:05What you want about now?
20:06Well, let's say just for instance that we had 2,000 pounds lying around at home
20:12doing nothing in particular.
20:13Oh, just mooching about?
20:15Yeah, you know, kicking its heels, that sort of thing.
20:17And let's say that we gave Vimmel that 2,000 pounds, right,
20:21and we pretended that we'd just collected it from Mr Rahm.
20:25Well, Vimmel, he wouldn't know any better, would he, eh?
20:27So, thinking that he'd won the battle,
20:29and as happy as a sandboy, he'd hand over the statuette,
20:32which we would then whip round to Mr Rahm,
20:36who, also thinking that he'd won the battle
20:39and being equally chuffed as a sandboy,
20:42would hand over to us 4,000 lovely smaccaroonios.
20:47We would get on our bike, leaving them to play sandcastles.
20:50Eh?
20:52Brilliant, isn't it, eh?
20:54Yeah.
20:55There's only one problem I can see, Dil.
20:56How the hell do we get 2,000 pounds?
21:00You always bring little details up, don't you, eh?
21:03You get it from a bank.
21:04What, rob it?
21:05What?
21:06Oi.
21:06No, no, no, no, we'll borrow it from a bank.
21:08This is guilt-edged security, innit?
21:10Dil, you can't stroll into a bank and ask for a loan
21:13to help you pull off a con trick.
21:14Besides, we haven't got a bank account.
21:16Oh, well, it's got to be another way of raising the money.
21:20I mean, it's just got to be.
21:21Shh.
21:24Here.
21:25We're general traders, ain't we?
21:27Yeah.
21:27Well, why don't we start trading, generally?
21:29I mean, we could flog all our stock that we got in the garage,
21:33couldn't we?
21:33We could sell the Deep Freeze, the Vauxhall Velox.
21:36Three-wheel van?
21:37You're jesting.
21:37They'd want an tenant to take that away.
21:39No, we could flog Grandad's telly.
21:42We could flog, er...
21:43Here.
21:43My jewellery?
21:45That'd bring in enough.
21:45I mean, it's 27 carat.
21:47I thought it was 9 carat.
21:49That was when I was buying.
21:49Now I'm selling.
21:51We could sell that leather coat.
21:54You're not talking about my leather coat, are you?
21:56No, no, I'm talking about...
21:57Have you got a leather coat?
21:58Oh, we'll knock that one out and all, Rodney.
21:59Yeah, that's a good idea.
22:00Come on, Dil, we'll never raise two grand.
22:03We can, Rodney.
22:04You can do anything if you want it hard enough.
22:06We can do it, Rodney.
22:09We can do it.
22:10Yeah.
22:11Yeah.
22:12Come on, eh.
22:42Come on, let's go.
22:43Come on, let's go.
23:28Well, thanks a lot. It's Tempus Fugit, then, eh?
23:33Where's your watch, Derek?
23:35Oh, it's at the Mender's. I broke it last night playing, you know, volleyball.
23:39I thought you were right-handed.
23:41Me? No, no, no, no. I'm ambiguous.
23:49Hey, hey! Brothers!
23:52What about that, my son?
23:54Here, I can't...
23:59Oh, wow!
24:19Good afternoon, gentlemen. At table for two?
24:22No, thank you.
24:24No, thank you.
24:24We'd like to see Mr Rahm.
24:26Mr Rahm?
24:27The owner.
24:28The owner?
24:29Terrible echo in here, isn't there, Rodney?
24:32We'd like to speak to the owner, Mr Rahm.
24:34The owner, Mr Rahm.
24:35There it goes again. What's the matter with it?
24:37No, no, listen, listen.
24:38We would like to talk to the proprietor of this restaurant, right?
24:44I am the proprietor of this restaurant.
24:47No, no, no, you don't understand.
24:48Oh, you don't know.
24:48We want to see the real owner, right?
24:51I am the real owner.
24:53All right, all right, all right, listen, just watch my lips, all right?
24:58Look, where is Mr Rahm?
25:02Look, I don't know any Mr Bloody Rahm, so will you please leave?
25:06You drunks always come here causing trouble.
25:08Drunk? We're not drunks, are we?
25:09Look, I was having a couple of meals here quite recently.
25:13You must remember me.
25:14I'm sorry.
25:15You all look alike to me.
25:18All right, what are you talking about?
25:20We all look alike.
25:21What's the matter with him?
25:21No, he's making it up.
25:22Look, look, look.
25:24My brother, right, was in here dining with a couple of Indian gentlemen, right?
25:30One was sort of large, large and aggressive, right?
25:35Big.
25:35No, one was smaller.
25:38That's what?
25:38Way smaller than that, wouldn't it?
25:39Get down there.
25:40That being more business-like.
25:43You had a beard.
25:44Beard.
25:45You had a beard.
25:46Beard, look.
25:46Oh, that Mr Rahm.
25:48Ah, yes.
25:49I know who you're talking about now.
25:51Oh, no.
25:53He's the one who gave me a bouncy check.
25:56And a short while ago, I went to the address, which is written on the back.
26:00He's scarpered.
26:01Owing three weeks rent.
26:04Doughboy.
26:05No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
26:08It's a mistake.
26:09It's got to be a mistake.
26:10I mean, he told me he owned this restaurant.
26:11He told me he owned 18 of them, in fact.
26:14Maybe he was fibbing.
26:17Fibbing?
26:18Maybe he was fibbing.
26:21I've just given him 2,000 pounds for this on a strength of him fibbing.
26:262,000 pounds?
26:27But why?
26:28You can get them in Portobello, Rod, for 17 pounds each.
26:36It's amazing what you can save if you shop around.
26:42I've got a nosebleed coming, Rodney.
26:48He tried to tell me that the staging was cursed.
26:54You know, he told me that he thought Coelho was a wicked person.
27:03Let's see.
27:04Now we've done Cardiff, Bristol, Southampton, and now North and South London.
27:09Where to next?
27:09Oh, to Birmingham, then Manchester, then Newcastle, even maybe Liverpool.
27:16In fact, anywhere where there are people who think they can exploit the religious bigotry
27:20of two stupid immigrants, who will be rich, my friend, very rich.
27:25I'll drink to that, me old fucker.
27:51No sign of him, all?
27:53No.
27:54Packed his bags and had it weighing his toes five minutes after we'd left.
27:59As Macbeth said to Hamlet in mid-summer night's dream,
28:04we'd been done up like a couple of kippers.
28:07Right, let's go to the police.
28:08Oh, yeah, that's a good idea, that is.
28:10Oh, that's marvellous.
28:10We'd give them a good laugh down there, couldn't we, eh?
28:13But just imagine it, Trotter Brothers, conned out of two grand.
28:15Be all over the manor in no time.
28:18We'd never be able to hold our heads up in court again.
28:22I don't know how people like Vimble and his mate can sleep at night.
28:26Honest, I don't.
28:28Lost everything.
28:30Never coats, Voxhall Velocs, Grandad's telly.
28:34Hey, I've just remembered time.
28:35Grandad was renting that telly.
28:37Oh, tell me.
28:42Come on, let's get something to eat.
28:44I always feel emotionally peckish, the one I've been gutted.
28:48Well, that's a curry house down the road, Del.
28:52No, only joking, Del boy.
28:53Del!
28:54No, only joking, Del!
29:01You've got some half-price, crack ties, some miles and miles of carpet tiles,
29:04TVs, deep freeze, and David Bowie OPs.
29:07Pool games, gold chains, wuss names, and header push,
29:10and Trevor Francis tracksuits from a mush, and Shepard's Bush.
29:14Bush, Bush, Bush, Bush, Bush, Bush, Bush.
29:16No income tax, no VAT, no money back, no guarantee.
29:22Black or white, rich or broke, we'll cut prices at a straw.
29:30God bless, Hooky Street.
29:34Viva, Hooky Street.
29:36Long live, Hooky Street.
29:39Saint-Mandifique, Hooky Street.
29:43Magnifique, Hooky Street.
29:47Hooky Street.
29:50Hooky Street.