00:30We sure are.
00:31Hey, how about Silas on the cast here?
00:32Can we get a shot of Silas, please?
00:33Can we pull over to him?
00:34This is Silas' last day on Good Morning Agrestec.
00:38How long were you with us, honey?
00:40Uh, 79 hours and counting.
00:4379 hours.
00:44He's counting in hours because Silas is here as part of a community service arrangement with the court.
00:50Actually, that is confidential information by law, so let's skip right over there.
00:54Silas was caught with all of Agrestec's stolen security cameras, and this is part of his flea market.
00:59What else did you have to, Silas?
01:01Uh, I had to pay a fine, and my license got suspended, but it doesn't matter because in three years,
01:09my record will be expunged, and no one will ever know what happened.
01:12Except, of course, the people watching this show.
01:15Well, bless his heart.
01:17It's public access.
01:18Nobody's watching.
01:18For parents out there, our next segment is very important.
01:23Our next guest is a crossing guard at a local elementary school here to talk about children's safety.
01:29Please welcome Haley and Jane.
01:31Can you let me go?
01:32I told you I was invited.
01:34Lord have mercy.
01:36You touching my clothes.
01:37Act like I'm trying to steal some.
01:38Taking my stop sign.
01:40Hi, how are y'all doing?
01:42I'm sorry, it's the terrorists.
01:42We just have to check everything.
01:44Y'all checked everyone?
01:45Yes.
01:46We did.
01:46Not just me.
01:47No, ma'am.
01:48All right.
01:49I mean, no, we did.
01:50Well, thanks for being here.
01:52And thanks for all that you do.
01:54Oh, you know what I do?
01:55No.
01:56And that's a great place to start is right there.
01:59We don't know, which is why we're asking you.
02:01Why don't you tell us a little something about what you do?
02:03Well, when I was bringing up my kids, it was a different world.
02:08You know what I'm saying?
02:09See, I live over in West Adams.
02:11And back then, you don't know where West Adams is?
02:14Oh, they have beautiful Victorian homes there.
02:17You know what?
02:17I don't know.
02:19Well, anyway, the long and the short of it was, they were embarrassed for me walking them to school.
02:23So I decided that I was going to go out there and just do this crossing guard thing just to
02:26keep an eye on them, you know.
02:27So last year, I ran into some difficulties, decided I'll go ahead and do this again just, you know, for
02:33a little while.
02:33So I came out here.
02:35Now, y'all done lost your damn minds.
02:37You know, you've got these rich folks riding around these big-ass SUVs with lattes and double frapper flipper damn
02:45chinos and everything just about to run these poor babies over.
02:48It's a shame.
02:49See, now, if they could figure out a way to take that coffee and put it in the gas tank,
02:53then we wouldn't have to be over there fighting that damn war.
02:55You understand what I'm saying?
02:57Are you against the troops, Haley?
03:00I'm against people sucking down coffee and trying to run over kids in a school zone.
03:04Okay, so tell us, Haley, I'm sorry, what do you teach the kids?
03:07I teach them common sense, basic safety.
03:10It's real easy.
03:10All you got to do is, here, hold on a second.
03:14Oh.
03:20Come on.
03:22Well, that was great.
03:23Is there some sort of timing that you have with the neck?
03:25Do you want to try?
03:27Yeah, I'll give it a try.
03:28Come on.
03:28This will be fun.
03:29Great.
03:29Absolutely.
03:30Oh, you're going to do it?
03:31Okay.
03:31Oh, I got you.
03:32Well, I don't know.
03:33You need to learn this.
03:34You sit back.
03:34Come on here.
03:35Okay.
03:36Hand goes up.
03:37Uh-huh.
03:37Look to the left.
03:38Look to the right.
03:40What if a person has scoliosis?
03:43Sit down.
03:44Okay.
03:47What about reflective clothing and that sort of thing?
03:49Do you think the children should wear helmets or reflective clothing?
03:52That's all the rage right now.
03:53People don't have to spend money on clothes and all that.
03:56They just have to have common sense.
03:57You got to teach them safety outside the house and inside the house.
04:00Do you teach your kids to turn off the lights?
04:02Uh, yes.
04:03That's all you got to do.
04:04Absolutely.
04:04Do you teach them to turn off the gas?
04:05Is it true if you have a wet hand and you turn off a light switch, you could electrocute yourself?
04:10No, I think you should try that.
04:12And you tell me how that works out.
04:13I'm scared I don't want to get electrocuted.
04:14Yeah, I wouldn't actually give it.
04:15I think she's just having a little fun with it.
04:17As I was saying.
04:18Yes, ma'am.
04:19Mixed messages are a problem.
04:21Baby, what are you doing?
04:23Lift with your knees.
04:25Why y'all got children working?
04:27Oh, it's his show.
04:29It's fine.
04:29Baby, no, get off the damn ladder.
04:31No, seriously.
04:32Let somebody else do that.
04:33What the hell is going on up in here?
04:35I like your shirt.
04:37Mesh is very good on you.
04:38Oh, Lord Jesus.
04:39It must keep you cool.
04:41The mesh.
04:42True that.
04:42It keeps me safe.
04:43I have to be an imposing presence.
04:45They have to see me coming.
04:46The parents seem to be rushing to get their asses home.
04:48You understand what I'm saying?
04:49Oprah is on at four.
04:52You kind of look like her.
04:53Are you related to her?
04:56Are you?
05:02Well, if I get over there, I'll keep a special eye on them.
05:05All right.
05:06Thank you, Miss Champs.
05:09Well, now's a good time to go to weather, huh?
05:12Let's turn to Doug over in the weather room.
05:15Let's go to Doug Wilson, who's doing our weather to pay his wife's alimony.
05:20I'm crushing your head.
05:2178 degrees, right, Doug?
05:23Why you got to do that?
05:25You know this is my thing.
05:26I'm just saying.
05:2678 degrees, am I right?
05:28Always.
05:3078 and sunny all week long.
05:32Actually, we do have a tiny little cold front coming in from San Diego.
05:35We might be looking at mid-70s by the end of the week,
05:38but it's still great weather to roll out some blankets for your buds and hit the beach.
05:44Back to you guys.
05:46Is that it?
05:47Thank you so much.
05:48You're a very frightening woman.
05:50I am?
05:50I mean, I meant that as a joke and it didn't come out well.
05:54No.
05:54I'm very sorry.
05:56Can I go?
05:56Yes, please.
05:57All right.
06:01Watch an all-new season of Weeds only on Showtime or watch it anytime on Showtime On Demand.
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