00:01It has been reported that Brutus killed Caesar, but we have found new evidence written in stone that it didn't
00:07happen that way.
00:08Of course, we may have gotten a hold of a bad stone.
00:11So to either clear up or confuse history, here is Arrivederci Caesar.
00:18Hail Caesar!
00:19I... ooh, I... I think I broke my lollipop.
00:25Hail Caesar, almighty Caesar!
00:28Brutus, where'd you get those new robes?
00:31Nixon appointed me to the Supreme Court.
00:35Here, Caesar, is the, uh, scroll you're to read at the Senate today.
00:43Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears.
00:46Ears? What I need is a new liver.
00:50You Italians drink too much wine.
00:52Caesar, be very careful when you make that speech because there are those that would assassinate you.
00:57Who would want to kill me?
00:59Are you kidding you? You conquered all of Europe.
01:01There must be 75 million people that hate you.
01:03Get their names.
01:04That's...
01:06All right, Caesar baby, I warn you not to let the Macedonians...
01:12Macedonian...
01:14Macedonians...
01:16Macedonians are nuts.
01:17The Macedonians are fruits.
01:24Anyway, don't let them move in the neighborhood.
01:28Caesar, we are having a lot of trouble with the Christians that we are throwing to the lions.
01:33Why?
01:33The sweet ones are giving them cavities.
01:36Listen, there's a lot of talk about you and Cleopatra.
01:39They say that you're having trouble in the Senate.
01:41But I'm having fun in the house.
01:44Listen, have you proof of this?
01:47Even now, Cleopatra is floating down the Nile with Anthony on her barge.
01:53And she's got a barge that won't quit.
01:57What would you say, Brutus, if they chopped me up and put me on a platter?
02:02I would say, who made it the salad?
02:05Who made it the Caesar salad?
02:08Forget it.
02:10Don't you realize your life is in danger, Caesar?
02:12You mustn't take chances.
02:14On far-off journeys, I want you to send your Teutonic slave, Henryus Kissingeris.
02:20Can you hear me?
02:21Yeah.
02:22I'm waiting for the last.
02:26Nonsense, Brutus.
02:26Enough of this.
02:27Let us be entertained.
02:29Very good.
02:30Nero's here with his fiddle.
02:31I guess the rest of the band didn't show up.
02:34No, no, no.
02:35Just a moment.
02:36I have a surprise for you.
02:37Here.
02:38Look at these.
02:39Aren't they beautiful goblets?
02:42Yeah.
02:43Been in the family for years.
02:45Did you ever think you would serve wine at Caesar's Palace?
02:49Why not?
02:49She worked at the Flamingo and the Riviera.
02:56Go on, Dave.
02:59Hi, listen.
03:00I think she knows a thousand ways to make a man happy.
03:03Well, that would take care of tonight.
03:06Why don't you just drink in her beauty?
03:09I don't have that big a glass.
03:12Right, Caesar, baby.
03:13Caesar, I fear for your life because I think that at any moment a killer may come through.
03:20There.
03:22No, I'm not ready yet.
03:27Okay.
03:28Here, now you can...
03:30Oh!
03:31Hey, that's pretty good.
03:33Hey, that takes great timing.
03:35Ah, look.
03:37But who cares?
03:38I'll drink anything.
03:39Okay, go ahead.
03:40Here he goes.
03:42He's drinking it.
03:44It didn't work.
03:45Oh, hail.
03:47Caesar!
03:49Caesar!
03:50Sabrina!
03:50Sabrina!
03:50Come over here.
03:51Come over here.
03:52We must destroy Caesar.
03:54Get your lipstick.
03:55Mm-hmm.
03:55Hey, I should have got it myself.
03:57All right.
03:58This lipstick is poison.
04:00Here, put it on your lips.
04:01Now, I want you to go over and kiss him.
04:04You kiss him, and he dies.
04:06I'll do my best.
04:07Good luck.
04:26Good luck.
