00:02Our next guest is the Great Impressionist, Mr. Rich Little.
00:09Yes, sir, Rich can be anybody he wants to be.
00:15Why he chose to be Rich Little, I'll never know.
00:20When you're in the business, as long as me, you'll know how to read them lines, baby.
00:27A really great talent, Mr. Rich Little.
00:45Thank you, Dean, for that strange introduction.
01:00I'm so delighted that Carol Shannon could be here this evening.
01:23Instead of standing at home and watching Milt Chamberlain drop basketballs in her mouth.
01:34Hey, it really is an honor to be here tonight.
01:38To pay tribute to this truly outstanding human being, Don Rickles.
01:44Not many people know this, but Don recently volunteered to take part in a series of experiments being conducted at
01:52the UCLA Medical Center.
01:54See, they're trying out new drugs on Don to see if they're safe for rats.
02:03See, I did that as myself.
02:10But, uh...
02:11I've got to laugh.
02:14The hell with the impressions.
02:19That's what you've been saying for years, right?
02:21Why don't you go home and take a warm bath?
02:24Watch the rubber duck drum.
02:34Hey, I've really been looking forward to this occasion.
02:36In fact, a few nights ago, I had a dream about Don Rickles.
02:40Just my luck.
02:42Actually, it was more a nightmare.
02:44I dreamt that all the world's major political leaders had gathered at the White House in Washington for a conference
02:51to bring peace to the world.
02:53And in my dream, Don Rickles was president of the United States.
02:59And he was greeting them all.
03:02Now, here are some of the things that President Rickles was saying in my dream.
03:10Ah, King Fasal of Saudi Arabia.
03:13So, so, so, so, so, so glad you could come.
03:15Hope you find the parking place for your camel.
03:19Anyway, may I say something, Your Highness?
03:21Can I say this from the bottom of my heart?
03:25You've got to be the ugliest king I've ever seen in my life.
03:29Yeah.
03:37Your face was a building, I'd be condemned.
03:39Anyway, gang.
03:45Moxie tongue.
03:46Ah, I love you.
03:48You, you, you, you, you, you're a wonderful little guy.
03:50You, you, you, you little taggy.
03:52I know you've got a lot on your mind, but try and remember next time.
03:54No starch on the car, huh?
03:58Fidel Castro.
03:58What are you doing here tonight, you hockey pack?
04:01What you do, get a note from the Russians saying you can take the night off?
04:05Incidentally, is that a beard or are you sticking your head under your armpit?
04:09Anyway, gang.
04:11This, this, this, this, this.
04:15Is he coming towards me?
04:18If you see teeth, it's not an ivory hunt.
04:20Anyway, gang.
04:22Isn't this fun, huh, Don?
04:23Huh?
04:24Isn't this fun staying up late and everything, huh?
04:26Isn't this great, Miss Bennett, and sitting around the house discussing your next series?
04:30Anyway, gang.
04:33Hey, look who's here all the way from the Soviet Union.
04:36Mr. and Mrs. President.
04:37Don't, don't, don't, don't tell me.
04:38Let me guess who, which one is which.
04:40Huh?
04:44Hey, Premier Tanaka of Japan.
04:46Ah, so, ah, so.
04:48What are you looking so scared for, you hockey puck?
04:50John Wayne's not here tonight.
04:52Hey, last time I was in Tokyo, I met your beautiful wife and your lovely kids.
04:56And I must say, that's quite a set of Tanaka she's got there.
05:03And then all of a sudden, I awoke.
05:06The dream was over.
05:07I was awakened by the telephone.
05:09I picked it up.
05:10It was Don Rickles' agent telling me he wanted $75,000 for appearing in my dream.
Comments