Gay Dad, Single Dad: Surrogacy & Post-Divorce Realities | Daddies Podcast

Name: Gay Dad, Single Dad: Surrogacy & Post-Divorce Realities | Daddies Podcast
Uploaded: 2026-09-12T08:54:00+00:00
Duration: 35 min 33 s
Channel: Man of Many

00:00so i don't understand the ins and outs of surrogacy for some reason i'm picturing a really

00:04big kind of turkey baster yes yeah welcome to daddy's a podcast about life on the other side

00:11of being a dad i am rob from man of many and i've had about three hours of sleep

00:17i'm marcus from man of many i had a weird sleep as well but i think i was up every

00:21two three hours

00:23which was weird and i didn't have my daughter um last night so i have no excuse no it's also

00:28not billy's fault i just woke up at 2 30 this morning and here we are she's the life of

00:31being

00:32a dad um but like this is for me and for us i mean this is a podcast about maybe

00:39saying the things

00:40that we might think and feel but not necessarily always say um but it's sharing our stories and

00:47our experience being dads and i think we come from two very different uh kind of not points of view

00:54but experiences we have different stories and i think there's some value there so i want to start

01:00with you rob okay tell me a little bit i i know a little bit about you but for those

01:04watching and

01:05listening who are you why do you get to sit in this chair today uh well because i'm a daddy

01:12in more in more ways than one uh well i'm a dad um with my husband uh via surrogacy so

01:19we have

01:20a three almost four year old daughter and she was born with the help of a couple of women uh

01:27in

01:28canada actually uh so a surrogate and an egg donor in canada so tell us a little bit about the

01:34story

01:34where did where did billy come from what's the like the before during after um well i guess you know

01:41we it wasn't ever really a discussion that my husband and i had it was just something that we both

01:47knew we wanted to do kind of from day one so we got married in 2019 and pretty much immediately

01:54started looking into surrogacy and found out immediately that it's very complicated and very

01:59expensive uh and we landed on canada as our destination um why did you land on canada

02:08for complicated reasons um it's just not that easy in australia to do surrogacy the laws just

02:14haven't really caught up it it can be done um but there's a much smaller pool much smaller pool of

02:20people who are willing to do it who are interested in doing it and there's not the infrastructure set

02:26up for it so in canada we were able to use like an agency that helped to kind of matchmake

02:31us with

02:32a surrogate and an egg donor um and that having that infrastructure underneath it made it a much

02:38smoother process when did you first meet the surrogate is that the correct term that is the correct term

02:43um uh we well we first met her when we flew to canada for the birth really um we that's

02:50insane

02:50yeah it was like i'd known my wife for quite a long time before um the before my daughter for

02:56quite a

02:57while so that would be that's like a a very intense blind date yeah i mean we we knew her

03:03before that we

03:03we we so this whole thing happened during covid so we started the process in yeah like i say late

03:102019

03:11covid came around january february march 2020 uh so we couldn't leave the country to um to to meet our

03:20surrogate so we were like i say we we found an agency and they you know we created a profile

03:26told

03:27them a little bit about ourselves um the agency told us that gay dads in australia are actually

03:32very popular for surrogates they said yeah um because i think there's this vision of like at the time we

03:38were living in bondi as well so there was this vision of surfing exactly yeah look after themselves

03:43skincare routine all that little baby growing up by the beach yeah that's right surrogate mums really

03:48love the really love the idea of that um and so then we you know we met each other online

03:55had a

03:55couple of like zoom conversations um and then you know just started a group chat really with the three

04:01of us and at the surrogate that you chose i mean i'm interested she chose us okay that's a very

04:07important distinction because that is a different dynamic there are more people who would like to be

04:12parents than there are surrogates so it kind of is surrogates choice okay and the surrogate i mean

04:19had you been a surrogate before like is this a career like i don't want to sound insensitive but can

04:25you be a surrogate multiple times over like have a career you can uh in our case we were the

04:32first uh

04:33first time she'd done surrogacy you never forget you never forget your first time i hesitated to say

04:39that but i did um she before she did surrogacy for us she was an egg donor a couple of

04:47times she's

04:48she's an extraordinary woman she's also a single mom of two little girls um two little girls under five

04:53at the time that she did the surrogacy for us um so agreeing to not only you know while raising

04:59two

04:59little girls also be a surrogate for us is like an extraordinary commitment and what a i mean i grew

05:06up in a traditional family in quotes so mom dad i have an older sister younger sister i'm in the

05:13middle and that is you have big middle child energy yeah i do only boy middle child yeah yeah it

05:18explains

05:19that explains a lot explains a lot and i ran with it but um it's it's interesting like you're just

05:25saying that she had two kids and then she was a like that i don't know what 20 years ago

05:31would that

05:31have been frowned upon or i don't think frowned upon certainly rare i mean it's becoming more common

05:36i mean she she had always wanted to do this she's she's a um she's a nurturer she's a carer

05:41she like

05:41she takes in rescue cats she takes in rescue animals like that's that's who she is it's a big part

05:45of what

05:45she does um so she yeah she was an egg donor for a couple of different um parents who couldn't

05:52conceive

05:53uh and so my daughter now has a couple of half siblings around the world as well um and then

06:00very shortly after she carried our daughter um she did it for another couple down in melbourne um gay

06:07couple another gay couple down in melbourne yep uh so then we've got this kind of she's this little girl

06:12down in melbourne who is not biologically related to billy but has was born from the same womb

06:21uh born from the same womb yeah and we've we've met those dads they've come up they came up to

06:25for mardi gras a few years ago and our surrogate flew out from canada for mardi gras as well so

06:29we

06:29all got to catch up that is like true blended family stuff we went to mardi gras with uh my

06:36wasn't

06:36really expecting to talk about this but we went to mardi gras a couple of years ago with our surrogate

06:39the the other dads from melbourne and their daughter my parents for the first time watching

06:44the mardi gras parade i cried it was such a beautiful moment it was really very sweet yeah

06:49yeah um incredible for someone who's not experienced surrogacy at all um you were saying that there's

06:58so your surrogate is not billy's biological mother no there's an egg donor as well yes who's also in

07:05who we also have an ongoing relationship with okay wow like you've just got like they say it

07:10takes a village and you see it does it's one of the really i think surrogacy is very misunderstood by

07:15a lot of people but i think one of the things that's really nice about it is once you do

07:20it

07:20you find that there's this real community of people who you know who like i say our our surrogate was

07:26an

07:26egg donor before that the fact that she's done that encouraged a lot of her friends to do similar

07:31things so she's by doing this she's created this kind of momentum where more people get into

07:37doing this altruistic thing for other people just out of the goodness of their hearts in our case

07:42you know we canada and australia both do altruistic surrogacy so um it's not commercial we cover our

07:49surrogates expenses yeah wow medical costs legal costs it's very expensive um but not there's not a

07:55payment on top of that so they genuinely do do it out of the goodness of their hearts and then

08:00yeah

08:00what you find coming out of it is that there's this whole network of people um around the world

08:05who all have this kind of shared experience it's really yeah yeah like a family for life yeah and

08:10it's it's similar in ways and in a lot of ways it's not very similar to my story i was

08:16married for

08:17five years we had a child and then went through the joys of separation and divorce um and i think

08:26what we decided to do well what we didn't even decide it was just a natural thing it's like my

08:33daughter who i'll refer to as bino that was her nickname when she was uh in the womb and

08:37it's kind of stuck i think it's quite cute um bino and um yeah very australian bino um

08:44to put her first and that has kind of guided us through what has been yeah quite tumultuous at

08:53times yeah kind of journey um and i found i i instigated the separation and we'll save that for

09:03like the um the dating podcast that i'm sure will come after this um and it was really interesting

09:08navigating navigating that situation as a single dad and i think it took me a while to actually go

09:14oh i'm a single dad and it may have actually taken a close friend to say marcus you know you're

09:19a

09:19single dad and it's hard i was like oh yeah because i was there going and maybe this was like

09:24the the

09:25masculinity kind of um idea going no you've got to be strong and you can get through this and don't

09:31show your emotion but there were times where i would be in a ball on my bed of course back

09:36and forth

09:37going what the is going on um because there was a lot to do with oh it's my responsibility to

09:43manage

09:44absolutely everybody's kind of emotional reaction to this divorce um but uh bino's mom bless her

09:53we sorted it out really quickly yes there were emotions and there was trauma and tears and sadness

10:00but we we did we put bino first um and so that journey has been incredibly interesting kind of

10:09watching bino's mom kind of start a new life but will always be connected and i'm friends with a lot

10:17of single moms single dads um and i was even talking to someone who was dating a single dad

10:23uh this morning and i think my situation or circumstances are so much more pleasant than

10:32what i've heard yeah um the thought of using a child as like weaponizing a child and going and

10:39not having custody agreements or whatever it might be we've been very i don't know grown up about it

10:47it sounds like how we kind of communicate around it so i i live this oddly bipolar life and that

10:55took a long time to get used to because we've got this great kind of setup and i'll try to

11:00explain it

11:00to you i have bino every wednesday and thursday night but then every second week i have a wednesday

11:07through to monday morning okay so we kind of have alternating weekends we have that block of time or

11:12she has that block of time with us um working out well she starts school next year we'll have to

11:18figure that out you know that that kind of works and it is this bipolar thing of going after that

11:25five day stint i drop her off at daycare which is our kind of transfer point um because her mom

11:31works in the city and i work here um and there's this and then suddenly it's bachelor marcus well yeah

11:38bachelor marcus right i was like look at me go um but it's it's this feeling of guilt going oh

11:45there's a bit of relief going on because i love my time with her it is so fresh and i

11:51think the fact

11:51that i only see her 50 of the time makes me be more present and makes me yeah have to

11:59kind of step up

12:00more as a dad i suppose but there is that kind of that relief going into there there are times

12:06where

12:07i would like to just be a bachelor again that would be really nice yeah and um bino's mom is

12:12now

12:13pregnant with um a little baby boy uh well a little boy it's not a baby boy yet because it

12:19hasn't been

12:19born anyway technicality um and there was that guilt in the back of my head going i'm not currently in

12:26a

12:26position to provide bino a sibling um and then someone came up to me and said let's go surprise

12:33surprise still gotta wait nine months all right well yeah that one too let's not go into that um

12:38and so seeing uh bino having that kind of that experience i think that was a little bit of guilt

12:47and fear that i had going i because we've divorced and she's kind of taken to it rather well she's

12:55the

12:55happiest little girl in the world but where does the kind of traditional family fit in with her

13:02um but there's no there's no one way to do it though right well and that's that's it and i

13:07think i grew

13:08up in a house a household where that was the norm and so i think in the back of my

13:14head finish school

13:16go to uni find a girl get married have a baby pay taxes die

13:24and i kind of i followed that path but then internally there was some kind of

13:30disconnect with what was going on in my life um and guess whilst it's been tumultuous and tough

13:38it's obviously worked out it's been those mum is married kid on the way they have a house having

13:45a great time and i'm on a daddy's podcast so i thought we thought as part of this little daddy's

13:53podcast but you probably like have someone who knows what they're talking about and so is that me

13:59no it's not you it's not you but it's here unsw ah they know i think i'm the only member

14:05of my

14:05family to not graduate from unsw titled nearly one in three children growing up in non-conventional

14:12family households a report um and i admit when i read this i was a little surprised because it says

14:20uh the breakdown 69 percent uh couple parent so that's your traditional 12 step slash blended

14:27um 11 sole parent 6 multi-generational uh less than one percent foster kin and i say

14:35i was surprised and maybe it's just as a single dad you gravitate towards other single parents

14:42and i was like oh there's so many of you out here um but i was i didn't realize i

14:47was in this

14:49minority um and i remember back at school uh there'd be kids with divorced parents and i'd look at that

14:57and go oh that's weird but cool like they were always the cool kid i wonder how they've turned

15:03out i hope they're great but the kind of the freedom that they had it's like oh yeah i'm going

15:07to my dad's house so we can have a party there or whatever it might be um and i thought

15:12that's sick

15:13i'm stuck at home with two i mean what a boring yeah what a boring family i love you mom

15:18and dad

15:18um and so yeah like being in a minority weird for a middle-aged white man i suppose first time

15:26you've experienced yeah i know it's kind of sucks yeah so over to you then speaking of minorities

15:32um but i think what's your i mean your your upbringing traditional also very traditional yeah

15:40two parents i'm the youngest of three siblings so you give youngest child energy that's you don't

15:47even know what that means do you well no i have a younger um sister and no yeah i think

15:51you'd get

15:51along really well energy yeah uh youngest child energy is i had to raise myself and like they had

15:58two kids before me and now it's just me and like all the emotional energy was given to the first

16:04two

16:04my i know i'm hitting home with this no my experience of being the youngest child is just like

16:08golden child can do no wrong yeah you do give off golden child energy disgusting um and so okay if

16:16you

16:16like you've lived this kind of and we both have you've got the kind of traditional foundation that

16:23you can kind of refer to how how is kind of raising a daughter in a it's kind of it's

16:31interesting because

16:33obviously as i say first of all we had to make a very deliberate decision to go through the process

16:38of surrogacy and it takes a really long time which gives you heaps of time to consider what kind of

16:43dad

16:43you want to be whether you want to do this at all because there's plenty of opportunities in it

16:48in the process to go actually this isn't this isn't for us and you know there were times especially

16:53during covid where we had to go do we want to keep pursuing this because it's really hard and i

16:57wonder

16:57if there were the outside forces or people going oh why why are you doing that no no no no

17:03everyone

17:04no everyone was super supportive um but because you know two men two dads so we always knew we were

17:11going to have to approach it from a kind of non-traditional perspective and in a lot of

17:14ways i think it made it easier because we don't have the traditional gender roles so we had to find

17:21a we were just able to split you know in those early days we were just able to split all

17:25the duties 50 50

17:26he'd have a night on then i'd have a night on and that meant both of us could get some

17:29sleep because

17:29we didn't have to worry about things like breastfeeding etc etc um and then as we've gotten older and got

17:34more into the groove of being dads i think we've both kind of just naturally found roles that work for

17:40us

17:40i have a question i only know this through like grandparents going oh what do you want to be

17:46called do you want to be papa and nana or granddad grandma whatever it might be what's the deal in

17:53your household my husband is dad and he was very adamant about that from the beginning that he wanted

18:00to be dad and i let him have that um and then there's not really another good option dad too

18:06yeah like a lot

18:07of dads dad too a lot of dads go with like papa and i hated that i never wanted a

18:12little bit

18:14it's got a little bit yeah it's a little papa may i have some more i didn't like that um

18:19so i went with

18:20pop because i thought that was kind of cute even though it's a bit um like grandfathery but yeah my

18:25my dad is pop to be though and i'm an old man in a young man's but well not even

18:29in a young man's

18:29body anymore i'm in i'm an old man in a broken down middle-aged body instead oh but um billy

18:35when she

18:35started to speak couldn't pronounce pop so she called me bop instead and now i'm bop see that's

18:41really cute it is cute i like being and it's unique as well i mean i don't know like it's

18:47i wouldn't

18:47think that there's another father out there who was referred to as but i've never met another bop no and

18:53i think because within my situation i keep calling a situation which makes it seem like a bad thing um

19:01circumstance my circumstance okay yeah in my in my life um there is there's um but you know has a

19:09stepdad um they got married um at the end of last year they were kind enough to invite me to

19:15the

19:15the wedding i politely declined um and so when he first came on the scene like lovely man we like

19:23him

19:24lovely man um and when we first met we sat down and we said can we acknowledge how weird this

19:31is

19:32and had that moment of going oh there's another man in bino's life what's what what's that going

19:38to be like but we were uh bino and i was sitting down and we were drawing and she started

19:45drawing

19:45her family and it was me and her and mommy but you wrote daddy twice and that was there was

19:56a moment

19:57where i was a little bit confronted like i know that yes this is the other dad but seeing it

20:04written

20:04down and i'd always kind of gone i am her daddy but now she's got two and there was this

20:13kind of

20:15emotional moment of oh but well my daughter also has two daddies well yeah there you go okay i feel

20:22better so do you think ultimately going through the process that you've gone through has made you

20:27a better dad in some ways yeah and i think look i said before that i don't know whether i'm

20:34a good

20:34or a bad dad but i think if i was to really stop and think i think i'm a great

20:40dad wow what a journey

20:43you've been on this podcast well it's i'm there and it goes but i'm there um i'll pick her up

20:51from

20:51daycare uh this afternoon and i'm looking forward to it and we'll have a great time and what's like i

20:57really pride myself in going like we'll get on a bus and we'll go home but we'll turn that into

21:03an

21:04event it's an adventure yeah and i love catching the bus because when i wake up and i'm grumpy

21:09i will wake bino up and she'll just be smiling and joking immediately and i'm like yeah that's

21:16that's how i want to go through the day um so i think yeah look having bino has completely and

21:23utterly changed my life for the positive that's beautiful it is beautiful thanks bino love you

21:29calling this community questions um the things people always ask yep i get a lot of questions i've

21:36got a few they're not necessarily from me they're from the community um the first one yes why not

21:43start here is uh did the two of you just do your business in a cup mix it around and

21:50hope for the

21:50best this is by far the most common question i get that's odd i've never it's it's the first thing

21:56for whatever reason it's the first thing that goes to people's minds when they find out we've had

22:00a child by surrogacy and i suppose it is going okay well you want both of you in there yeah

22:04the answer is no just for the record you go in your own yeah cups yeah um is it like

22:11when they

22:12dropped the atomic bomb and they didn't tell which plane had the actual and so i was like you know

22:21the cups they mix it around kind of yeah like what they you know we we obviously we have you

22:27know we

22:28both went in our cups we had an egg donor so we had a bunch of eggs that were on

22:32in a freezer or

22:34something i guess um and then you uh how do i phrase this politely you fertilize those i think

22:43that is the term you fertilize them using each other's you know um and then those some of those

22:50become embryos and then you look at which embryos are the most viable the most likely to lead to a

22:56successful pregnancy and you start from the top and work your way down so i don't want to get into

23:01it but i'm i'm going to so that means if you were to do a paternity test it would be

23:07one well there's

23:08only one yeah yeah interesting do you know yeah we knew from the start do we do you want to

23:13tell me

23:14no um we yeah no we knew from the start we um so we attempted one transfer that did that

23:22was not

23:22successful and then uh we just tried the next most viable embryo which did work and we knew who the

23:29biological father of that embryo was and nine months later she was born amazing i love that

23:35um this is an interesting one um on the surrogacy um what if the surrogate wants to keep the baby

23:42we

23:42may have covered this a little bit but hit me another very common question uh never happens

23:49it just does not happen it's really yeah it's basically unheard of i think is what we were told

23:54when we were going through the process okay um and one of the reasons for that and this is why

23:58you have a different well there's a few reasons that you have a different egg donor to the surrogate

24:03one of the reasons is that surrogates traditionally have had their own children and have so that they

24:08can demonstrate that they can actually carry a child to term um which means they're usually a

24:12little bit older because they've also finished having their own families first

24:15uh and then your egg usually comes from someone younger because younger women have healthier more

24:20viable eggs um so because there's not a because the surrogate who's carrying the baby does not have

24:27a biological connection to the child that i think lessens the chance of that happening but also you go

24:33you don't just wake up on a whim one day and decide to become a surrogate you go through there's

24:38a lot

24:38processes to make sure that you are in the right mental place to be able to go through this very

24:44emotional journey and you and you talk about it so succinctly and clearly but i assume that's because

24:51you've lived the experience i mean it would have been i imagine quite daunting going ah like did you

24:57have these questions before you kind of yeah no you do a lot of research you meet a lot of

25:02people

25:03there's like it's particularly in australia because there's not as much of a like infrastructure

25:07around this stuff you find people who have done it before you find there's a couple of lawyers who

25:13specialize in this sort of stuff and you just go and chat to them and you talk it through and

25:16you

25:16ask all these questions and then you get through the process it's interesting um like when you're at

25:20school and they're talking about like they're pretty much i remember my recollection is

25:26uh grade 9 10 11 don't have sex don't have sex don't have sex if you do have condoms don't

25:31have sex

25:32don't have sex don't have sex catholic school no oh interesting i think there was a religious

25:36affiliation of some kind yeah my public school they were just like whatever go for it really

25:41yeah oh okay so i'm just a private school boy okay well anyway i'll continue my thought just in case

25:47someone um it resonates with someone um but then you go into adulthood and you either go i want to

25:55have a baby or you accidentally have a baby or in your um instance it's like okay how do we

26:01how do we do as a baby yeah um and no one tells you how hard it is and i

26:08don't know whether the

26:09brains of a grade 9 grade 10 or grade 11 student could handle hey so like if you want to

26:15have a

26:15baby it's going to be pretty tough and there'll be this and there'll be that um but it's like it's

26:20a

26:21it's a crazy kind of process out there yeah it is it's it's pretty intense all right question from

26:27the community it actually just says dating dot dot dot well i think that's i mean we talked about the

26:34um my two lives and what what was really interesting um kind of going into the dating scene or just

26:42like

26:42post divorce single dadness is hearing of the term custody aligned oh so what does that mean

26:51one of my great mates were custody aligned she has her boys on wednesday thursday and then yes

26:59but if you meet the love of your life but you're not custody aligned it doesn't work because she'll

27:07have her kids when you don't have kids yeah and so it introduces the idea of like when do you

27:13introduce your child to a potential partner like is there a timeline there like is it two weeks have

27:21you done that no no i haven't okay and it's hard because like scheduling a date with me or me

27:31scheduling a date with somebody is nigh impossible because you go on a date on a friday when i don't

27:37have beeno and then odds are i'm not going to be able to see that person for another week and

27:43so

27:43it's a obstacle for them and i understand how annoying that might be but then there's a bit of

27:49stress on my side going well i really like this person how am i going to navigate how are we

27:55going

27:55to make it work um do you find uh like on the apps say because i assume you're on the

28:00apps i'm off

28:02the apps at the moment yeah i've got a much healthier relationship with the apps now it's great that's good

28:07yeah the apps are pretty toxic or so i've been told yeah i don't hear many great things about it

28:12but do you do you find that it's a being a dad is a barrier to like is that just

28:18a deal breaker i think

28:19in between my ears i've i used to say and i've kind of processed and grown out of it but

28:27i used to say i

28:27had a lot of barriers to entry um single dad raising a daughter in contact with my ex-wife daily

28:37um

28:38that kind of yeah i mean three horsemen of the apocalypse kind of deal um and whether that was

28:45something i kind of just concocted in my brain i thought no one's going to want to date me because

28:50i've got all these obstacles and you do meet people that i i will put i've got children on the

28:57on the apps and that might just be an immediate swipe left or right or whatever way it is and

29:03that

29:03is completely fine because coming into that environment is tough yeah like you've got

29:12a whole bunch of people that you're introduced to and and it's not when you're with someone for a

29:17while and then like the big deal is being introduced to their parents yeah it's like

29:22being introduced to the parents being introduced to the child being introduced to the child's other

29:27parents i mean that's dating you they're dating your daughter your ex-wife and so yes and so i think

29:33like i can't say what it's like being on the other side and the understanding or whatever it might be

29:38and maybe there's people out there that don't particularly want children and so they're like oh okay

29:42so it's like a weird bonus child situation i'd not thought of um but it's it's tough and i think

29:48the mental backflips that i've done in that scene have been a bit debilitating um and i judged myself

29:58because oh people aren't matching me and like and then i i'm denied do i take off the fact that

30:03i

30:03have that kind of conversation later and then it's but i think i've just gone no be honest because

30:10i'm quite happy being like i call bino my the love of my life because she is completely transformed

30:20i feel the same way about billy yeah and i think there's obviously and maybe we'll talk about this

30:25in another episode but there's a difference between loving your child and loving your partner yeah and i

30:32think they are two completely different loves um and it's finding someone who understands that

30:38whilst the intimate love of two adults is important to me there are going to be times and probably a

30:45lot

30:46of times where bino comes first yeah and i think i mean that's been something i've had to kind of

30:53process and think about and i've probably made a few mistakes along the way in terms of assuming that

30:59people will see it differently but that's how we learn that's how we grow do you think if you um

31:04meet a lovely lady who has children of her own you could come together as a blended family and then

31:10film a sitcom brady bunch style it's interesting that isn't it because brady bunch they move in

31:16together right they do yeah throw the kids in i am hearing stories out there with my single parent

31:21network um because odds are you're at a certain age where you've got your own place you've established

31:29your career like you've got your own life you're a grown-up and so the thought of moving in to

31:35another

31:35person's apartment or whatnot seems a bit like oh but like i've worked really hard for this yeah and so

31:41there are there's relationships out there with parents with two kids or kids and they kind of just

31:48they keep their yeah and i think that kind of is another added layer or dimension to

31:54these blended families so what i'm hearing is it's a no to the brady bunch i i've learned that i

32:00should

32:00i i can't say no to anything no that's wrong that came out wrong but like i would never i

32:06don't know

32:06what's going to happen i can't rule it out um because someone could come along sweep me off my feet

32:11and be like let's buy a farm in rural new south wales and that's the dream but you know it

32:17can be a

32:17farm kid um but yeah like i don't know and so i just i've learned and i've made mistakes but

32:25i've

32:25i've learned that yeah i just need to go about it honestly and truthfully okay another question

32:32oh another one how do you feel about your ex-wife's marriage slash pregnancy how do you ask that that's

32:39such a personal question um no interesting i found out that um bino's mom was getting married when i was

32:46camping and just a very quick side story um uh someone brought like a dad brought camping equipment

32:53into bino's daycare and so they were all camping mad and i'm not a camper so i called up my

32:58mate and i was

32:58like hey can you facilitate this for us um and yeah we got there she had a great time but

33:04i kind of uh

33:06people were wondering about the two guys and the young daughter who were camping and i did a bit of

33:12that yeah i imagine and i kind of um i played up to type i think because i was like

33:17oh i can't believe

33:18i'm getting mud on my shoes which is a little bit stereotypical so i'm really sorry you are a gay

33:22man at heart yeah probably um but i found out and she uh her mom facetimed us and said oh

33:29can i talk

33:30to bino and i was like yeah i'm gonna put the camera there and then she did the ring thing

33:34and i was

33:35like oh okay like because when i saw the when when she said oh i've got something to tell bino

33:41i was

33:41like okay so she's pregnant or she's married but then i obviously got the order of things um the

33:45traditional order of things um wrong and my mate who i was camping with was like after the phone call

33:51was like how do you feel and i felt nothing like i was happy for them but him asking me

33:56that question

33:57made me go oh should i should you feel something feeling something and similarly when found out

34:03well bino actually told me that her mom was pregnant before how did um i think we'd just

34:11finished up with um getting ready for bed uh putting on pajamas and she said do you know that

34:17there's a baby in mom's tummy and it was just this moment of hmm and i think the pause or

34:22the

34:22hesitation from me was more that's funny like what a way to find out yeah and but again i discussed

34:30it

34:30before great that bino now gets a sibling and she gets to have that experience and very happy for um

34:37ex-wife and i don't know how to refer to her ex-wife uh bino's mom for bino's uh stepdad

34:45or um what

34:46should we call him the irishman he's irish he plays the guitar he's a great guy um so happy for

34:51them

34:51and like we've got our separate lives but we're brought together by it's very mature we're so

34:56mature so mature it's not even fake maturity like it's real just you're genuine you're genuinely

35:02happy yeah okay cool i think i think i'm done answering community questions those were tough

35:07that made me feel and think things um okay we need to wrap it up let's wrap it up so

35:12that's a wrap

35:13yes thank you for listening uh if you enjoyed the show please like and subscribe please comment

35:18tell your friends come back next time and we'll see you soon yeah um i've always wanted to say like

35:22and subscribe so like and subscribe uh we've been daddies we've been daddies and you've been great

35:27and we'll see you soon

35:29you

35:30you

35:31you

Gay Dad, Single Dad: Surrogacy & Post-Divorce Realities | Daddies Podcast

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