00:00Gentlemen, welcome back. Red card, yellow card, no card, as Mike just said.
00:03Let's start off with something or a topic that was brought to my attention by someone on the show.
00:09Fresh out of your Bible.
00:10Yes, Rico Beard. He texted me the other day and goes,
00:13Red card, yellow card, or no card? Tailgating outside a funeral home.
00:16Take it away with all the details.
00:20Okay, so here's what happened.
00:22A friend of mine, when I was in grad school, passed away.
00:26Haven't seen her in like over 20-some years.
00:28Well, that happens when someone dies.
00:30I know. I go to a funeral home.
00:32You generally don't see them again.
00:34No, no, but I'm saying I haven't seen her in 20 years.
00:37So I got the news.
00:38She died 20 years ago.
00:39No, no, she just died, Mike.
00:41Oh, oh, oh, I thought you meant, okay, I would like to.
00:47I'm sorry.
00:47You know what, take two.
00:48Red card, yellow card, no card.
00:50I'm so sorry.
00:51I thought you were saying she died 20 years ago.
00:54No, she just passed away about a week ago.
00:59Totally makes sense now.
01:01All right, back to it.
01:04So I go to the funeral home, and as I'm parking, I noticed there's a lot of people out in
01:11the parking lot.
01:12It's a jam-packed parking lot, too.
01:14I'm like, wow.
01:15And at this funeral home, there were multiple, you know, bodies in there, different families and whatnot.
01:21And I passed by some guys, and they're drinking.
01:24They're pouring stuff in their glasses.
01:26I'm like, are they tailgating?
01:27Oh, my God.
01:28So then I walked down, and there's another car with people standing around.
01:32They're tailgating.
01:33And then there's another car.
01:35And I'm like, okay, what is going on here?
01:37And then I'm praying to God, I'm like, please don't let this be her people and her family.
01:42I hope I'm not walking up into some ghetto stuff.
01:45It wasn't.
01:46It wasn't her family.
01:48It wasn't her people.
01:50Thank God.
01:51But, yes, I'm watching the tailgating, like, is this a thing now that we tailgate?
02:01Was that John?
02:06God forbid, Rico, I have an opinion.
02:08Here's John.
02:10All right.
02:11Let's get the shit back in.
02:12I'll say red card for that real quick.
02:14It's kind of crazy to tailgate at a funeral.
02:16I think funerals in 2026 are a giant red card.
02:20I don't like people being forced to grieve in a specific way, at a specific time, at a specific event.
02:26I don't like the social constraints of funerals.
02:29I don't like any part of it.
02:31It's the height of awkward.
02:33Words will never do it justice.
02:35Well, you're paying your respect.
02:37Are you?
02:38I think the respect is established over the years of the relationship with the people.
02:42And for the record, it was the viewing of the body.
02:45The funeral was the next day.
02:47Yeah, we call it a wake.
02:48I don't know what the Midwesterners call it.
02:49The visitation, viewing.
02:51Highfalutin.
02:52I'm going to say red card to everything that left Rico's mouth.
02:55I'm going to say no card.
02:58Let these people celebrate.
03:00Let these people have their moment.
03:02No.
03:02It's a red card.
03:03They're getting hammered over a dead body.
03:04No, it's a red card.
03:06Now, does it help?
03:06It's not respectful.
03:07I think it was like somebody from a motorcycle gang.
03:12Does that change the dynamic?
03:14Then go somewhere else.
03:15Not at the funeral home.
03:16You can do that somewhere else.
03:18Wait, are you gatekeeping whether someone's qualified to be buried?
03:21What's happening here?
03:22No, no, no.
03:23You can have the viewing, but keep that respectful.
03:26You can party elsewhere.
03:28Red card, all of it.
03:29I don't like being around dead bodies.
03:31I don't like any of it.
03:33And that has nothing to do with being respectful.
03:35I think it's an antiquated pursuit.
03:37Man, the whole time I was just like, please don't be your family.
03:39Please don't be her family.
03:40And it wasn't.
03:41I was like, thank God.
03:42Moving on from that.
03:44So, Cattell Marte, he's back with the Diamondbacks.
03:47He got a lot of booze at the home crowd the other night.
03:50And while getting interviewed at his locker room after the game,
03:53he was wearing a hat that said, may the bridges I burn light the way.
03:57If you don't know what's going on with him, he left the team.
03:59He was at a casino.
04:00He was supposed to be rehabbing an injury, but nothing really aligned with all that.
04:04The red card, all of it.
04:07Look, if you're going through something, teams have more resources than you know what to do with.
04:11You can't put the words casino, missed game, you know, rehabbing injury in the same thing.
04:17You know, I don't know what else I can say.
04:19It's all a red card.
04:21It normally does not pan out going back to Dennis Rodman leaving the Bulls and Michael had to go get
04:27him.
04:28Yeah, that's a red card.
04:31And then to have the flippant attitude as well, you're not sorry.
04:34You're just like, whatever.
04:35Yeah, red card.
04:36It's definitely a red card, especially when the manager says, I can't guarantee that he won't go AWOL again.
04:42I have no idea.
04:44But see, that's a mishandling by the organization.
04:46Understood.
04:46The organization, if you don't have faith that this player will show up for their job or if they have
04:51issues going on that make them unpredictable, you need to get them help.
04:55And you need to keep that player off the field and also keep them away from the media.
05:00I mean, it doesn't rise to the level of taking an espresso machine once you've been traded, but it's pretty
05:05bad.
05:05I'm going to say red card.
05:07Talking about espresso machines, red card.
05:08Anywho.
05:09That is a major red card.
05:11Yeah, using your wife as a meat shield and saying basically she's too cheap, ultimate red card for Tara.
05:16And I don't care how expensive the espresso machine was, you're rich.
05:20$32 million a year is $87,000 a day.
05:23Well, you know, I heard, here's a couple thousand dollars.
05:25That's pennies to him.
05:27Once again, you make $87,000 a day.
05:29What are we talking about here?
05:31So Bill Simmons, who runs the Ringer Podcast Network and whatnot, the other day on one of his most recent
05:37episodes,
05:37and remind you, they are sponsored by FanDuel, a sportsbook, obviously.
05:41He admitted to proxy betting.
05:43He had told a story because he lives in California.
05:45Sports gambling is not legal over there.
05:47And he told his daughter's boyfriend, who is of age and lives in Massachusetts,
05:52I'm going to send you my information, place a couple of wagers for me on the upcoming NFL season.
05:57He admitted it all in a podcast.
05:59And I would definitely assume that there's probably a FanDuel sponsor read mixed in there.
06:03Isn't that a crime?
06:05Yeah.
06:06Am I wrong?
06:06It's in the guidelines of FanDuel that you cannot proxy bet.
06:09It's not, but I don't think it's provable.
06:12Mike, I think it ranks right up there with tearing the mattress off.
06:15I mean, tag off your mattress.
06:17No, I was asking.
06:17I'm not offended.
06:18I don't care.
06:19I don't know that you'd want to involve your daughter's boyfriend in your betting.
06:24I don't think you want to tell people that you're doing it.
06:27That's it.
06:28Probably not bright either.
06:29So I'm going to go yellow card.
06:31Yellow.
06:31Had he kept his mouth closed?
06:33No card.
06:35Hey, look at me.
06:36Well, we're looking at you, sir.
06:38Here's a yellow card.
06:39That was where the red card came in.
06:41Why are you telling everybody what you did?
06:44If it's illegal, now everyone knows you have instructions here.
06:49I told him to do that.
06:50No.
06:51Red card.
06:52Yeah, he said it was a great bonding moment with him.
06:54Okay.
06:55So let's go back.
06:56I'd go to the cops because somebody stole your crack.
06:59So let's go back to the whole Lane Kiffin.
07:02Certainly a way to put that.
07:03The whole Lane Kiffin LSU stuff.
07:06Someone who reports on the team posted a photo within the locker room.
07:10And LSU has a little banner that says, if you want to win at the highest level, you have
07:16to become a villain in someone else's story.
07:19The LSU football model.
07:21Yeah.
07:21I don't have no card.
07:23It's kind of true.
07:24But with everything going around, you don't think it's a little tone deaf to an extent?
07:28No, because they're embracing it.
07:30They're saying people already think we were a scumbag team with a scumbag coach.
07:34Let's just go out there and be the biggest scumbags we can.
07:38So I'm going to go no card.
07:40They're embracing it.
07:41They're not coming out there trying to say, no, no, no.
07:44We're not like that.
07:45They're not wearing the villain t-shirt.
07:47They're willing to be the villain.
07:49Yeah.
07:49This is Lane Kiffin.
07:51This is his program.
07:51This is true to who he is.
07:53So no card.
07:55Very fair.
07:55All right.
07:56We got time for one more.
07:57Let's go outside of sports right here.
08:00When you're shopping around at a grocery store and you notice that someone had put
08:04an item in a spot that clearly does not belong, especially if it's like cucumbers and you're
08:10in the hair product area, red card, yellow card or no card, red card.
08:14It's an absurdity.
08:15Red card.
08:16You're lazy.
08:16Just take it back to where you got it.
08:19It's no different than not holding the door for somebody or not putting your cart back.
08:22Like, I don't know.
08:23I just why do you have to behave this way?
08:25Yeah.
08:25Ice cream over in the tire section.
08:27Don't do that because then someone's got to go and fix that.
08:30Like, come on, man.
08:31Yeah.
08:31I used to work in a grocery store.
08:32This is awful.
08:33I hate this.
08:34Like, this is a pet peeve of mine.
08:36If I see something, well, I don't like to talk to people.
08:38So if I see my family doing it, I will definitely say something.
08:41Great trait for a pastor.
08:43I mean, that's, David, you do realize you are a marital counselor for your church.
08:48Oh, no, no, no.
08:49I don't like to talk to people.
08:50No, I help people.
08:53Pastor, 10 seconds.
08:55Sell me on why I should say you stay married.
08:57You shouldn't.
08:58Divorce her.
08:58What?
08:59David, you can't say these things.
09:01That is not what I mean.
09:02Steelers game is starting, guys.
09:04Tick, tick, tick, tick.
09:04Do we need to cue up the old Terry draw?
09:06Let the bitch walk.
09:07I mean, David, you can't do that as a marital counselor.
09:11Just not forget it.
09:12Thank you for trusting me with your problems.
09:14I don't want to talk to either of you.
09:17You've got six minutes.
09:18Let me flip a coin and stay married.
09:20Okay.
09:21Ladies and gentlemen, that is red card, yellow card, or no card, 97-1.
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