- 2 days ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00.
00:00.
00:00.
00:00.
00:00.
00:01.
00:01.
00:01.
00:01.
00:02.
00:02.
00:26Bianca!
00:28Bianca!
00:34What time is it?
00:35Half past eight.
00:37Come on, you're getting married today, remember?
01:00Phil!
01:01Phil, wake up!
01:02It's freezing.
01:03What time is it?
01:04Half past eight.
01:05Have you seen where we are?
01:09We're in a field.
01:10Yeah, I know we're in a field, but how did we get here?
01:12I'm getting married in three and a half hours.
01:14You lot were supposed to be looking after me.
01:16What are we gonna do?
01:17Find a phone box.
01:19And a calf.
01:21Got a throat like a coal miner's jug strap.
01:23Yeah, there must be an ass or something somewhere.
01:25Well, wait, look.
01:26We could be anywhere.
01:27Well, there must be a road or a farm out there.
01:29Somewhere.
01:30Yeah, but where?
01:32Well, I don't know.
01:33You was in the army.
01:33Can't you work it out?
01:34What?
01:35Well, when you was on exercise and you didn't know where you were.
01:37Say you were stranded.
01:38What did you do?
01:39Ask for a helicopter.
01:40Oh, that's really handy, isn't it?
01:41Well, we had maps and compasses.
01:43Can we film?
01:43Yeah, right.
01:45That way.
01:53Do you think I should phone Ricky, see if he's up?
01:55Don't you dare.
01:56You're not meant to see him or talk to him until you get to the church.
01:59Besides, him and Phil stayed at Nigel's.
02:01They'll make sure he gets up.
02:02Don't kill him if he's late.
02:03He won't be.
02:04Yeah.
02:04Can't get married with an empty stomach.
02:08Maybe there was a nuclear war.
02:10We're the only ones left.
02:11Yeah, we're about to come into a road sooner or later.
02:13I mean, we've been walking for a quarter of an hour.
02:14I'm dead.
02:15What I can't work out is how we got her in the first place.
02:19The last thing I remember was being in the strip club.
02:21Yeah, we were drinking here with them two kids.
02:22What's her name's there?
02:23Ken.
02:24Ken and Wayne.
02:25Yeah.
02:26Here.
02:26Does anybody remember getting on a boat?
02:28What?
02:29Phil, tell him to stop winding me up.
02:31This ain't funny.
02:32Will you see anyone laughing?
02:33This is your fault!
02:34All right, all right.
02:35I'm supposed to be getting married.
02:36You can't do this to me!
02:37It's not going to solve anything, is it?
02:38I don't even want to come out!
02:39You made me!
02:41You've ruined everything now!
02:42Hey, what's that?
02:43What?
02:43Shh!
02:44Listen.
02:45Where's it coming from?
02:48Over there.
02:49Over there?
02:49Coming.
02:51Hey, mate!
02:52Hey!
02:53Hold on.
02:56Here.
02:57We're glad to see your town.
02:59Can you tell us where we are?
03:00Je suis désolé, je parle pas anglais.
03:02Tu sais quoi?
03:02Je suis français.
03:03It's a fraud.
03:04I knew it.
03:04We're in France.
03:05Please tell me this ain't happening.
03:07I can't believe this!
03:08Shut up!
03:08Shut up a second, will ya?
03:09Where are we?
03:13We'll ask him where the ferries is.
03:15Where's the ferry?
03:16The ferry?
03:16Je comprends pas.
03:17I don't think he knows.
03:19All right.
03:19We'll ask him if there's a telephone or something.
03:21Look, he's...
03:22Why don't you ask him?
03:25Um...
03:25Téléphonant?
03:26Téléphonant?
03:27Téléphonant?
03:27Si, si.
03:28Téléphonant.
03:28He says there's a house over there.
03:33He said Maison, that's house.
03:35You can talk French.
03:37Help Claire with her homework.
03:38What are you telling us before?
03:39I thought you think we'd be doing all right.
03:40We'll ask him how far.
03:42Right.
03:45Bonjour.
03:46Bonjour.
03:50Um...
03:50How far?
03:52Je parle pas anglais.
03:54Je sais je comprends rien du tout.
03:55What'd he say?
03:56I'm not sure.
03:57It's a funny dialect.
03:58Yeah, it's called French.
03:59C'est là-bas.
04:01Oh, over there.
04:02Come on, then.
04:02Come on.
04:02Come on, Nigel!
04:03Mercy.
04:04How long we got?
04:05Three hours?
04:06Au revoir.
04:08Au revoir.
04:09I wonder what Ricky's doing now.
04:11Judging by the state of Robbie when he got home.
04:12Taking soap for his hangover, I shouldn't wonder.
04:14I didn't know Robbie came in.
04:15No, Alan dropped him off.
04:17He said that Ricky and Phil went home early.
04:18Alan?
04:19Mm-hm.
04:19What time's he coming, then?
04:21Oh, he's already here.
04:22What?
04:23What, he stayed?
04:24Well, it was late.
04:25Oh, Mum!
04:26Don't build your ropes up.
04:27He stayed on the sofa.
04:28Never mind, it's a start.
04:30Shall I go out and come back in again?
04:31No, we're all right.
04:32Oh, just hope you've ever one of those touching mother-daughter moments.
04:34I don't mind waiting.
04:35Yeah, we're finished now.
04:36So, how's the plushy and bride, then?
04:37A bit hangover, but she's had her breakfast.
04:39Well, I've come to make her look beautiful.
04:41I've come early.
04:42Blame your cheek.
04:43Listen, you'd better go and have your bath, though.
04:45All right.
04:45Any news from the boy wonder, then?
04:46My mum said he left him when I'm early.
04:48Oh, you've got him all trained, didn't you?
04:49Oh, God, oh, and I have.
04:50Why does he only get himself in trouble?
04:54A quiet drink, you said, and we end up in France.
04:56That's right, blame me.
04:57You're supposed to be my best man.
04:59And what was all that stuff on the bus?
05:00Oh, don't worry, I'll look after, I'm not drinking.
05:02All right, so I had a few.
05:03A few?
05:04All we need is a car and direct them to the other craft or railway station.
05:08Nigel do all the talking.
05:09Why me?
05:10Because you know more French than we do.
05:11Yeah, well, that ain't difficult, is it?
05:12Well, maybe we should phone on you.
05:13Let's find out where we are first.
05:15I can't have Bianca turn up to the church all around.
05:17All right, we'll phone up if we have to.
05:23Bonjour, ma soeur.
05:24We are English, and have you lost?
05:30I am an overcraft.
05:33Overcraft.
05:36With me and comrades.
05:41Require you a train.
05:43Train, s'il vous plaît.
05:46Philippe, some of your lot.
05:48You're English?
05:49Hang on a sec, I'm confused. Where are we?
05:51Town Farm.
05:52Yeah, but what country?
05:53So we're lost?
05:54Well, you must be, if you don't even know which country you're in.
05:57You're in South Yulford.
05:58England.
05:59Kent.
06:00Yes!
06:00Yes!
06:02Listen, why can we use your phone?
06:04I'll come in.
06:06Yes.
06:09Morning.
06:10Bonjour.
06:10Bonjour.
06:12Oh, they're students.
06:13We do a bit of bed and breakfast, you see.
06:16These two are all right.
06:17At least they can string a few sentences together.
06:20They've got a mate with them, though. Can't speak a word.
06:22Still, we get by.
06:24I suppose you'd like a cup of tea.
06:26Well, yes, please.
06:26Full pot on the table there. Help yourselves.
06:30Set your boys, is it?
06:31London.
06:32Oh, it was much.
06:33Bit of heavy night by the looks of it.
06:35Yeah, just a bit.
06:36Look, we have to get back to London. Can we call a cab?
06:38You won't get no cab come out of here?
06:40How far are we from London?
06:4281 mile. What's the crow flies?
06:43Hour and a half. What's the time there?
06:45Five past nine. That's a piece of cake.
06:47In a hurry, are you?
06:48He's getting married in three hours.
06:50Are you now?
06:51No sense in rushing and getting married, boy.
06:54Marry in haste. Repent at leisure.
06:56Oh, you've been repenting now on thirty-year now.
06:58How far's the nearest town?
07:00Five mile.
07:01And could we get a cab there?
07:02What, all the way to London?
07:04Yeah.
07:05Well, I'll try, I suppose.
07:06What do you think?
07:07What's that if we can't get a cab?
07:08Get a train or something?
07:09If we get held up, we might have to go straight to the church.
07:12Where's your suit?
07:12At my place. We were going straight from there.
07:14What about the rings?
07:15In my suit pocket.
07:17Well, why don't we ring someone up and get them to take the suit straight to the church,
07:19just in case?
07:20Oh!
07:25Could you do us a favour, love and clear this lot?
07:28I don't think I could stand up.
07:29Look at the state of you two.
07:30Must have been a good night.
07:31Oh, I kept having nightmares about balloons bursting all about me.
07:35Balloons?
07:36Yeah, you don't want to know.
07:38Oh.
07:44Hello?
07:46Oh, Phil, how you doing?
07:49You what?
07:52Yeah.
07:54Yeah.
07:56Yeah, I got it.
07:58No, no, no problem, mate.
08:00You leave it to me.
08:02Bye.
08:04What did he want?
08:06He, er...
08:07He wants me to pick something up from.
08:08Like what?
08:09With a suit in there.
08:10Take her out of Nigel's.
08:12That's where they all are.
08:13Well, why can't he do it himself?
08:15Well, I am an usher, aren't I?
08:16Yeah, but that's only for the church.
08:18It won't take a minute.
08:20Might be long.
08:23All right, that's sorted now.
08:24All we need to do is find some wheels.
08:26Is there any chance of you giving us a lift in the nearest town?
08:28Well, it's a bit difficult.
08:30Wife's got the car, see.
08:31Going to see her mum.
08:32And you don't reckon we can get a cab?
08:33Well, the only cab I know of in town is Wally Bates,
08:36and he won't come out here.
08:37Bates?
08:38Could be a long-lost cousin.
08:39Let's hope not.
08:40Well, it's too far to walk, isn't it?
08:42Well, there's got to be something.
08:43Please.
08:50Better than walking, though, innit?
08:52Only just.
08:53Well, I don't see if we've got much choice.
08:55I don't believe this is happening to me.
08:57Cheer up.
08:57It's something to tell with your grandchildren, innit?
08:59If I'm late, I don't think I'll be capable of having anyone to try and be angry to finish.
09:04So what sort of look do you want?
09:06Tarty, sophisticated, the natural look?
09:08Nice sort of virginal.
09:09Well, I don't think I've got enough make-up for it.
09:11Yeah, watch it.
09:12My little girl getting married, I can hardly believe it.
09:14I still remember her being born.
09:15Oh, turn flies.
09:17He'll be grandchildren next.
09:19Yeah, as well as she's happy.
09:20Yeah, Rick, he's a good boy.
09:22They'll do just fine.
09:23Yeah.
09:24Morning.
09:24Morning.
09:24Morning.
09:25Hello, sweetheart.
09:26Alan!
09:29How are you feeling?
09:29Bit nervous.
09:30Yeah, me too.
09:31I've never given anyone away before.
09:33Well, we'll look after each other then.
09:35Yeah.
09:35Do you want some breakfast?
09:37Er, no.
09:38I'll get something later.
09:39I'd better go and pick my stuff up.
09:41I thought I'd get changed there if I saw it.
09:42Yeah, yeah, of course it is.
09:45Alan, why are you there?
09:46You might as well pick up the rest of it.
09:47What?
09:47Well, the rest of it close.
09:49We can't have you getting dressed over there every morning, can we?
09:51No.
10:04No.
10:05No.
10:07No.
10:10No.
10:12It'll be all right.
10:13I've had more of the right acts in the club last night.
10:15If anyone asks anything, you're in orange juice all night.
10:17Cheers.
10:21So how are you feeling?
10:22Oh, death warmed up.
10:24Yeah, I did try and tell you.
10:25Yeah.
10:26It's just a one-off though.
10:28Yeah.
10:29I mean it.
10:30Of course.
10:31We're never gonna make it.
10:32We're doing all right.
10:33We'll be there before you know it.
10:43Oh, hello, Mark.
10:44Hello, Kath.
10:44Phil sent me.
10:45Where is he?
10:46He's at Nigel's.
10:47He sent me around for his and Ricky's suit.
10:48Oh, why didn't he come himself?
10:49He was in a bath.
10:51In the bath?
10:51Yeah.
10:52Well, I thought they were getting ready here.
10:54Well, they were, but now they're not.
10:55Why not?
10:56They didn't want to disturb him, did they?
10:57I'm not doing anything.
10:58Look, I'm just telling you what he said.
10:59So if I could have the suits.
11:01Is he still coming to pick up me and Ben?
11:03Er, no.
11:04He said for you to go on without him and he'll meet you there.
11:06Oh, great.
11:07Yeah, I think Ricky wants to get there early.
11:09Get his bearings, you know.
11:10Get his bearings?
11:10Phil's just doing his bit, ain't he?
11:12Best man and all that.
11:13Right.
11:14So, er, how's Phil feeling?
11:16Eh?
11:17Well, hangover, is he?
11:18No.
11:19He was on soft drinks all night.
11:20Soft drinks?
11:21Yeah.
11:21I mean, a couple of lads tried to get him to have one, but he won't have it.
11:24Good as gold he was.
11:26So.
11:27What shall I tell him?
11:30Hang on.
11:31No, you'd better come in.
11:36Thanks to ya.
11:38Thanks a lot, mate.
11:39Where's the bloke with a cab?
11:41Normal 14.
11:42Great.
11:42Good luck, son.
11:43Thanks, mate.
11:44You're all gone, I need it.
11:53Well, we're looking for a cab.
11:54Where to?
11:55London.
11:56Whereabouts?
11:57The East End.
11:58East End, eh?
11:59Where in the East End?
11:59Walford, ya night.
12:01Yeah, night.
12:02So, can you take us?
12:03No.
12:03Eh?
12:04Cars in the garage.
12:05New exhaust.
12:06Look, we gotta get a London.
12:07Is there anyone else that can take us?
12:09London?
12:10Yeah.
12:11Today?
12:12Yeah.
12:14I doubt it.
12:15Well, what about a train, then?
12:16Oh, yeah, get a train to London.
12:17Right, where's the station?
12:18Boxton.
12:19Well, where's that?
12:2015 miles that way.
12:21Well, how did we get to Boxton?
12:23Today?
12:24Yeah.
12:25Bus.
12:2810.43.
12:29That's too late, isn't it?
12:31Well, look, mate, we've gotta get to London.
12:32There must be some way.
12:33I mean, we'll pay ya.
12:34Sorry.
12:34Like I say, the car's in the garage.
12:36Cheers, mate.
12:39Well, that's that then, isn't it?
12:40It's half nine now.
12:41Look, we can still do it.
12:43Someone back phone Bianca.
12:45She's gonna go mad!
12:47Right.
12:47What do you think?
12:48Ah, beautiful.
12:50When I get married, I know from here, what do you do?
12:51I'll marry you, then.
12:52Oh, you'd be surprised.
12:54Tell them when they do, I'll hold their white stick for them.
12:56Yeah, and I'll look after the guide dog.
12:57Well, you two are really funny girls.
12:58Stop, you go and get that phone.
12:59I'll send Billy up to jump on Robbie.
13:01Right, you ready to have your make-up, Dan?
13:02Yeah, but don't put too much on, though, I know.
13:04What time is it?
13:0520 to 10?
13:06That was the flowers, lady.
13:07She said the van's just left.
13:08Oh, am I?
13:09Yeah, okay.
13:09You've got butterflies.
13:10I've got butterflies.
13:11I'll be butterflies.
13:12Might be long there.
13:12Right, close your eyes.
13:15Yeah, there's a motor.
13:17Yeah, mate.
13:21You miserable geeks!
13:25Can't blame them.
13:26I don't think I'd pick us up.
13:27I've worked it out.
13:28If we carry on in the same direction at the same speed,
13:30we should've hit London round about the 22nd.
13:31Should've phoned you, man.
13:32Not until we have to.
13:33Look, she ain't gonna leave the house to tell after them.
13:35Let's see where we are by then, yeah?
13:37You know, I'm just beginning to remember what happened last night.
13:39What?
13:40Well, they were taking us to an all-night drinking club in Dover.
13:42Yeah, that rings a bell.
13:43And then we bottled before we got there.
13:45How come we ended up in the field in the middle of nowhere?
13:47Search me.
13:48Maybe one of Nigel's ex-girlfriends who was grazing nearby.
13:51Careful, Phil.
13:51You're almost funny, then.
13:52Look, we're gonna get there.
13:53Look, relax.
13:54It's only two hours away.
13:55Ain't impossible, is it?
13:57We could always nick them out.
13:59Yeah, we'd have to fire them on first, won't we?
14:00Turn up to a wedding in a stolen car.
14:01This ain't the time to get choosy, is it?
14:03There's a case of turning up there or not getting there.
14:06Oh, look, there's a car.
14:07Look, stick your phone out.
14:08Stick your phone out.
14:09Stick your phone out.
14:10Just do it.
14:19Hi, mate.
14:19I'm trying to get to London.
14:21Well, I can take you as far as bishop's born.
14:23You can get on the A2, then.
14:24Oh, brilliant.
14:28Come on.
14:29Cheers, mate.
14:33So how are they getting back?
14:34Dunno.
14:35But there wasn't enough time for someone to go down, pick them up and bring them back again.
14:38So they're gonna have to make their own way.
14:39Dover's a good two hours.
14:40What time did they phone?
14:41Just after nine.
14:42Oh.
14:43Cutting a bit fine, aren't they?
14:44Yeah, they are.
14:45Listen, I've gotta wait for them to church.
14:46You wanna come with us?
14:47Yeah.
14:47You got transport?
14:48Yep.
14:48I've got the keys to Phil's Jag.
14:49Right.
14:50Oh, Mark.
14:51You haven't seen Phil or Grant, Abbey.
14:53I can't find him anywhere.
14:54Yeah, we just saw him a couple of minutes ago.
14:56Where?
14:57Coming out of the caf.
14:58Yeah.
14:59I wish they'd let me know what's going on.
15:01They're a waste of space and a pair of them.
15:04Where's my shoes?
15:06Oh, I'll get them.
15:08Is it creased?
15:09No, it's fine.
15:10What do you think?
15:11You look beautiful.
15:12I've got to put my vow on yet.
15:14We'll put it on just before we go.
15:15I can't believe it's really happening.
15:17I'm really getting married.
15:18Yeah.
15:19Oh, I'm sorry, Tiff.
15:21There's me rabbiting on about getting married and you're on the verge of a divorce.
15:24Thanks for reminding me.
15:25Well, at least you didn't have to go through all this, eh?
15:28Nah.
15:29Maybe next time, eh?
15:31Next time?
15:31Well, you're bound to meet someone else and I saved my dress for you.
15:34Yeah, but I don't want to meet anyone else.
15:36Oh, I'm sorry, Tiff.
15:38We'll work out for you, I know it will.
15:39Yeah.
15:40I'm sorry.
15:41Don't take any notice of me.
15:43This is your day and I'm really happy for you.
15:45Oh, don't go soppy on me.
15:47I'll start crying and then all my mascara will run and you'll have to do it again.
15:50Come here.
15:54Go in.
15:56Right, I've got them.
15:58Okay?
15:59Yeah.
16:05This is very good of you.
16:07No, it's all.
16:07The A2's just up here.
16:09It'll take you straight through to London.
16:10Right, so how long do you reckon it'll take us from there?
16:12Oh, traffic permitting an hour and a quarter.
16:14It's half ten now.
16:15I'll take you to all in a hurry.
16:17I'm getting married at twelve.
16:19Oh, here we are.
16:30Thanks, mate.
16:31Thanks very much.
16:34What's up?
16:37Quite like it, eh?
16:42Billy, stop it.
16:43You dirty your clothes.
16:45Go and sit in the front room.
16:46Oh, Billy, watch it.
16:48You have to shout.
16:49You've no one to blame but yourself.
16:51Someone must have spiked my drink.
16:52Oh, it's funny.
16:53Andy said he was having a drinking competition with Grant Mitchell.
16:56Oh, yeah.
16:56You've only been out of hospital five minutes.
16:58You shouldn't have been drinking at all.
16:59I'm all right, Mum.
17:00Good.
17:01Well, stop sitting there, Mum.
17:01You'll only go and get yourself dressed.
17:03Oh, can I have an extra five minutes?
17:04Now, Robbie.
17:05Come on.
17:06All right.
17:07Here you go.
17:09Your shirt's hanging on the back of the door.
17:12You all right?
17:13Just sorted Robbie out.
17:14All right.
17:15Better take these out, yeah?
17:15Yeah.
17:22Morning, guys.
17:23All right.
17:24What colour does it say?
17:26Half of heaven.
17:27They're not going to make it, are they?
17:28Look.
17:30Good.
17:31Come on.
17:32Well, Sam.
17:33You're almost so smart.
17:37What's up?
17:40It's really lovely to be the...
17:42What's up?
17:44All right.
17:46We'll get.
17:47There's a lot.
18:18up to the lights at the top and chuck the right right we're there yet nearly never gonna do it
18:33so left at the garage mate
18:42you should be here by now you did get him home all right last night didn't you of course we
18:47did
18:49you should have seen the state of him cat look they just found that they're stuck in traffic
18:54they're on their way all right well how far away are they not far at all look why don't you
18:57get
18:57everyone inside hey shouldn't we be going ricky stuck in traffic well the bride will be here in
19:02a minute well you'll have to wave around i saw a film like this one the bride jilted at the
19:07church
19:08don't even say it nearly mark's right i mean maybe we should get everybody inside i'll let you know
19:13come on get everyone in trouble i told him we just found that he's stuck in traffic what if he
19:22doesn't show we're dead oh what
19:31he's not here yet can you go around the block or something cheers
19:37what's going on why aren't we stopping uh probably just hitch well what sort of a hitch
19:41could be anything he's not here is he yeah yeah of course he's here well why aren't we stopping then
19:46i'll throw him and kill him
19:50how many more times we've got to send around the block
19:55there you are where the hell you've been cheers mate look we've got no time where's the suits in a
20:00jack let's be anchoring you come around the block go on you better get inside let him know he's here
20:05they're going mental oh man
20:12pretty obvious i love it when a plan comes together not yet again round again round again
20:24we're going in
20:33you okay yeah i thought we were making it now and even did i
20:38what do i smell no just try and stand down with me though yeah
21:04i think
21:07Let's go again.
21:28Oh, son.
21:32Didn't think I missed my little boy's wedding, did you?
21:34I bet you said you weren't coming.
21:35No, no, no, Hannah wasn't.
21:37But I got up this morning and I just had to look at the state of you, eh?
21:41Are you staying?
21:42No. I'll tell you what I do.
21:44I sit at the back and watch you do the dirty deed and then shuffle off.
21:47I mean, this is your day, you know?
21:49Look, come sit up the front with me. That's where you should be.
21:51I know that, son.
21:52But people should be looking at you and your new wife, not me.
21:55I want you to.
21:56I know. I know you do.
21:57But, you know, the old man knows best, yeah?
22:01Besides, I'll see you soon, you know, after the wedding.
22:05I just want you to know that I love you very much.
22:10And I'm very happy for you.
22:15And nothing in this world is more important to me than you are.
22:19I love you totally.
22:26No.
22:27I could see you.
22:28All right.
22:29Come on.
22:36Come on.
23:05CHOIR SINGS
23:24Marriage isn't something which should be entered into lightly.
23:27Nor is it something that once entered into, we should take for granted.
23:32It's not just about love, either.
23:35It's about commitment.
23:37Understanding.
23:39Sticking together.
23:41Through bad times, as well as good.
23:45Providing an environment into which one day you may bring children.
23:52Ricky and Bianca have come here today to exchange their vows.
23:55And to share their joy with their friends and family.
23:59They're here to cement not only their own relationship, but hopefully to bring together their respective families to form one
24:08larger family.
24:10It's a day when their love should inspire us all to remember that as Christians we're called upon to love
24:16each other.
24:18And as they take their marriage vows today, perhaps to remind some of you of the vows, those of you
24:25who are already married, have taken yourselves.
24:29Maybe to ask yourself if they still hold true for you.
24:32To love and to cherish.
24:35For richer, for poorer.
24:36In sickness and in health.
24:58In sickness and in health.
25:07These are things we promise.
25:09Not simply for our wedding day.
25:09To love and to get together.
25:10Let no man put asunder.
25:12By the power vested in me, I now declare that you are husband and wife together.
25:18You may kiss the bride.
26:22Can you smell something?
26:23Huh?
26:24I smell it in the church, no.
26:26Oh, it's an old church, innit?
26:27Yeah, I suppose so.
26:28So have we done it then?
26:29Yeah, are you happy?
26:30Yeah, it's the best day of my life.