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00:00He's holding the nuts.
00:01That was not one of Bill Boyle's best days.
00:05One of his dearest friends, Johnny Wheeler, was dead.
00:08Murdered by persons unknown, except a Johnny who left behind an enigmatic clue.
00:15Then the tale of a powerful man, Onassis.
00:20Stop being a little girl. You know what the deal is. I'm a Greek and you're my wife.
00:24I'm not your possession.
00:25As long as we're married, you are whatever I want you to be.
00:27The Weekend on ITV
00:35And at this moment on YTV, that supreme mischief maker is here, Mr. Jeremy Beatle.
00:46Watch out, Beatles about. Watch out, Beatles about.
00:52You better watch out, cause Beatles about.
00:58Watch out, Beatles about.
01:01Watch out, Beatles about.
01:03You better watch out, cause Beatles about.
01:09Watch out, Beatles about.
01:27Hi and welcome to the very best of Beatles about.
01:30We've got some all-time classics lined up for you tonight.
01:33Take a peek.
01:34Double Yellow Lines cause some colourful language.
01:37The Go Lightly family cause a bust-up in a bed shop.
01:40And finally, some fast-rising executives are in for the high jump.
01:50Here's a great favourite from series two.
01:52Jan White lived in a cul-de-sac with double yellow lines down the other side of the road from
01:57her house.
01:58Her family wrote to us and suggested we even things up.
02:01So we added the yellow lines to Jan's side of the road.
02:05And over her son's new car.
02:23That's my son's car.
02:25You put that over there.
02:26Well, I didn't know it was your son's car.
02:28I've been here since ten o'clock this morning trying to get the shift in.
02:30And my son has been out here since ten o'clock.
02:32I live there.
02:33We've never, never had no b***h colour like that.
02:37I hope you know you're going to get caught for that lot.
02:40Dear, I've got big problems enough.
02:41Look at me in the yellow lines of this rain.
02:43I don't care about your b***h problem.
02:44I don't care about your b***h problem.
02:46All I know is I'm supposed to be putting a double yellows down on the designated b***h.
02:52I'm terribly sorry about this, but he has actually got the right to do it.
02:56What, on his car?
02:57Well, no, not on the car.
02:58But you see, I'm from the council and the car should have been moved.
03:02Because everybody up to number 40...
03:04But if you're not in and you've not had a letter through the door saying that you've got yellow, yellow
03:09lines,
03:09how the hell are we supposed to know they're going to put double yellow lines there?
03:12You haven't had a letter?
03:13None whatsoever.
03:15I'm sorry, Madeline.
03:15Well, I've got to get on with my double yellow lining.
03:17It's no good standing here having an argument.
03:19But you still haven't.
03:19How would you like f***ing double yellow lines?
03:22If you've got your f***ing car because it was just double there.
03:25Well, it's rather nice.
03:26It's rather trendy.
03:27Well, don't get clever, Madeline.
03:28My fist will be straight in your mouth.
03:34I can't believe it.
03:35I really can't believe it.
03:37He'll go absolutely fair when he sees it.
03:39So it's your son's car?
03:41Yes.
03:41Where is your son?
03:42He had to go out and do some business over at Westbury Road.
03:45And he parked it here because there was no double yellow lines for him to park on it.
03:49But you see, you should have known that we're going to be double yellow lines.
03:51I don't believe this, Mark.
03:52As far as the council is concerned, you should have had this letter.
03:56Here's my boy now.
03:58We've paid no letters down here at all.
03:59I'm afraid...
04:00Look at your car, Dan.
04:01I do not believe it, Sam.
04:03This f*** here.
04:04Look, I'm sorry, Sam.
04:06I'm sorry, Sam.
04:07I really am sorry.
04:08We know him at the council.
04:09We've had trouble with him before.
04:10Oh, have you?
04:11We have.
04:11Very well.
04:12So the f***ing job's on the line, Sunshine.
04:14I'm from Burroughs.
04:16The job's on the line.
04:16Oh, there we are.
04:18If you want any painting done, any freelance painting.
04:21Operator, my son happens to be a builder, so I don't need your b***h touching it.
04:27I don't believe it.
04:29Oh, I suppose you're going to book him now, aren't I?
04:36He's empowered to.
04:37I don't know.
04:40I shouldn't book him, Sunshine.
04:43He's got all double yellow lines anyway, because he hasn't done the double yellow lines.
04:47So I'm the double yellow line.
04:55He's got all double yellow lines.
04:56He's got all double yellow lines.
04:56I'm doing my job.
04:57I'm doing my job.
04:57Can you just hold that, please?
04:59I'll just hold that, please.
05:00Just hold that.
05:01Thank you very much, indeed.
05:02Now, what I wanted to actually...
05:05Oh, you b***h!
05:09Oh, no, you b***h!
05:13Oh, no, you b***h!
05:17I'm killing you b***h!
05:18I'm killing you b***h!
05:19That's why I'm killing you b***h!
05:21Oh, you b***h!
05:22B***h!
05:24Oh, I do apologise to everybody!
05:28A television camera, is there?
05:31One there.
05:31One there.
05:32One there.
05:32Oh, Harry!
05:34Oh, I wondered why you went out of the way here.
05:40What do you think of your son, your daughter and your husband for doing this to you?
05:44Oh, yes.
05:44Well, they're the best things that have ever happened to me in my life, but he will not reach 31,
05:50she won't reach 21.
05:52I'll swim to t*** Spain on his own.
06:04Ben Thomas took a summer job as a temp in a bed shop.
06:08Then, he met the Golightly family, who made quite an impression on him.
06:12This is the bed shop in Orpington, in Kent.
06:15And these are perfectly ordinary beds.
06:17Well, in fact, they're not.
06:18Because we designed them to collapse.
06:21Because we're about to spring a little surprise on the temporary salesman who are about to come here to work.
06:28Here's Ben, about to meet Mr Parker, our shop manager, and start his summer job.
06:33My name is Ben, and I'm supposed to be working here.
06:35Oh, Ben Thomas, yeah.
06:37Oh, fine, nice to meet you.
06:38Yes, hello, my name's Parker.
06:39Have a seat.
06:40I'm glad you've just got here in the...
06:41Tonk yourself there, will you?
06:43Okay.
06:43I've just got in the nick of time.
06:44I'm supposed to go up and see the bank manager.
06:47Anybody's interested in anything in the store, obviously, it's all for sale.
06:50Yeah.
06:50But these three, don't let these three go, because they're end of ranges, and the person paid for them yesterday.
06:56It's Mr Webster, his wife, paid for them yesterday.
07:00And we can't replace them, we've had to search everywhere for them.
07:03Just hold the store for me for about, well, I don't know as long as it takes, but it shouldn't
07:06be very long.
07:07Okay, fine, thanks a lot.
07:08Okay, thanks very much.
07:09Cheers, thank you.
07:11So, Ben's been left in charge, all alone, but not for long.
07:15He's about to meet Mr and Mrs Goat-Lightly, and their lovely daughter.
07:18We're here.
07:29You're good enough.
07:37This day was it?
07:39Yeah, pine, the pine.
07:47oh I see the one I like can you help me please in there yes there aren't any more of
07:53these three
07:53beds have been sold in there the end of a range oh yeah is this the one that's advertised with
08:01the the hippo sleeping on you know it's supposed to be able to like you see me and the missus
08:06a
08:06really big this is a bed they can take our weight yeah yeah we'll do she ever go
08:57I mean you used to just need it that would hold it I just got here I don't know how
09:03anything about
09:04these guys just only better so you just told me that all these better garden teeth I'm bringing
09:12is the owner of the beds and I want to collect them now the open to embed Center I'm afraid
09:19you just popped out and for the moment ah it's mr. Webster here my wife bought three beds yesterday
09:25yes I understand that mr. Parker did tell me this but he's fucked out and there is a bit of
09:29a problem
09:30at the moment is the problem that you want to wrap them no no I'm just like to wait till
09:35mr. Parker
09:36gets back before I let you come and pick them up yes I know the paper has been a bit
09:42of an accident and
09:43there's had some people in there's nothing I can do about I'm just working as a temporary I've just got
09:53here about two minutes ago okay right thank you that was the gentleman who's just bought these beds
10:05all the gentleman told me to do was to look after the shop while he's gone out to the bank
10:10well that
10:10makes you responsible then I know but it's not but he's just put me in this situation I've never worked
10:15in a bed shop before I don't know I don't know mr. Parker there's been a a bit of a
10:30problem I'm afraid
10:32I've left the thing that manager couldn't see me there's been a problem with these beds at least
10:37what on earth it's happened and they haven't they're not taking much weight tried them out
10:41what would he you let these people try them out yes these are these are so these are mr. what
10:46what
10:47just the gentleman just wanted to try the mattress out or something in there and then mr. just
10:52phoned up and he's coming straight around take the weight of an elephant and then he just called me a
10:57hippo you said that it would take you said would it take the weight of a hippo yes I said
11:03yes assuming it
11:04was a hippo assuming it would he just said it would take the weight of a hippo he promised the
11:09man a weight of a hippo on a bit well get behind your desk in case they get violent to
11:17my assistant
11:17before you started but what's all this talk of hippo parts of us and because of the TV out in
11:22the bed
11:22rhinoceros and then he says to me a true standard the weight of a hippo and fairly no no no
11:30no I wasn't
11:30inferring that you said you said would it take the way so I said that was I was just quoting
11:35what
11:35you'd said that's all the point of it is that they shouldn't have been subjected to the weight I was
11:40going to say sit down but something else might break yes bend into a sweat as I arrive to collect
11:45my
11:45beds I thought these beds were supposed to be able to take the weight of a sea lion what's going
11:50on
11:51what's fault is this this young man here which young man for you he gave me permission to sit on
11:56the bed and it just collapsed why did you do that I had sold on there I think he's getting
12:07suspicious
12:31a question will the city high flyers of tomorrow be wearing this you've seen the oxygen mask in play
12:48and if you want to know if she had a bee in her bonnet we'll show you after the break
13:02I just can't believe that what you're singing is true I'm just trying to find a way to make it
13:09clear and get through to you
13:13I got to tell you how good it really is
13:20through sun and rain some things never change you know you can't top the taste of a twirl
13:27you can't top the taste of a twirl
13:45kitty cat kitty cat has changed it still has all the protein and all the vitamins your cat needs for
13:53balanced nutrition but now it's chunkier and tastier and with three new varieties
14:01kitty cat at 7 40 after beetles about settle down to the James Bond film diamonds are forever starring
14:13Sean Connery as 007
14:21I'd like you to take a look at Philip Howarth he went to work for a company making music jingles
14:27but ended up as a singing telephone answering machine
14:32here's Philip about to start his first day as a temp in our jingle agency
14:35we do telephone answer machine jingles for um as you see various um show busy kind of people
14:45um sit yourself down there and I hope the writing's not too bad I had to do it on that
14:50on the train
14:54do you sing us all
14:55I used to
14:58do you see that um
15:02I'm really throwing you into this I'm sorry I really am sorry Phil
15:06if you see that duck whistle there the black thing
15:08all right
15:09all right okay
15:10and if you can stand on that mic there
15:12how do you blow it just blow it
15:13just blow it
15:14when you blow into it very good no the other end
15:16but you have to blow it at the other end
15:18but you have to blow into it very hard
15:20that's it
15:22so come up to that mic
15:23if you go boom
15:25not wally
15:26wally
15:26wally
15:27wally
15:29wally
15:30and then
15:31please leave a message when you hear the bleep
15:34give it all you got
15:36okay
15:37two
15:37three
15:38four
15:39when you hear the bleep
15:46when you hear the bleep
15:47shih wally
15:48and
15:53if you can
15:55just
15:55swing a little bit more
15:56boom
15:57shih wally wally boom
15:58shih wally wally boom
16:15shih wally wally boom
16:20yeah I think I think you're going to be able I think you're going to be able to
16:26handle the the phones for me you're just being just being the same as the tape
16:34would be really and then you put the lyrics there it's just it's the ballad
16:53this is mr. brown secretary would you call him please on nine nine one two nine one seven
17:03thank you so much
17:10do the trap yard do the trap yard are we ready we've come
17:14we've come
17:24can you give me a ring in the shop sometime bye
17:31absolutely fantastic I mean they won't know what's hit them but that was Steve so I mean you'll love it
17:35how have I got to do this all day
17:38rock and roll
17:39I'm not going to be able to finish it sorry can you
17:45thanks for calling me how are you
18:05who do you think uh set you up for this I don't know I've got a clue
18:10the name Lynn from the agency
18:12oh god I'm going to get her
18:16it takes till the end of time
18:27now an all-time favorite from the last series Louise Schofield Stacy Corrie Anna
18:33Coles and Bridget Marison all worked on the first floor offices in Covent Garden
18:37but their company was moving to the top floor of a skyscraper before they could
18:42begin they naturally had to undergo a little of our altitude training this is
18:48where we're sending the girls and it's a long long way up isn't it just if you
18:55just extend your neck slightly back only no further than it's comfortable and do a
18:59gulping sound
19:02gulping sound
19:07gulping sound
19:08sir I mean you'd be amazed three out of four people would not be able to do that
19:12really make the audible noise
19:16close your eyes if you want
19:17now for the physical test
19:27that is the sort of sound that the air makes rushing through a building of this
19:27you seem to be saying on the same note with all respect you don't seem to have
19:31much musical tone if you would place those one over each ear and just let a
19:36certain amount of air in and then
19:40rotate it side to side close your eyes so you'll be able to constant that is the
19:45sort of sound that the air makes rushing through a building of this height
19:48okay try the fingers in the ears
19:58now we move on to escape techniques you've seen the oxygen mask in planes
20:04of course
20:06come down and see where they'll come from in an office this size I really don't know
20:11if you get the muffs on
20:18in an emergency situation
20:24around the shoulder bowl I think the object is to keep the cold air the warm air
20:29are you a left hand hauler or a right hand hauler
20:47this is what to do when jumping from the building
20:50so we just try the audible thing because I want you to get the finger
20:53one two three two two three three two three and a loud
20:58a little like panic
21:00never mind
21:02they would know that you were on your way
21:03right here we go
21:04could we have one two three two two three three two three
21:06jump
21:07crunch
21:08crunch
21:08no don't say crunch
21:10do it crunch
21:10please do it
21:12I don't think they're taking you so close
21:14I'm sorry
21:15these things keep falling
21:17now parachute technique
21:20don't jump because of the way of the parachute but ease yourself up
21:24now what I want you to do
21:25you want to stay
21:27and you'll be on the floor
21:28but
21:29keep slightly apart
21:30and imagine that you're going into a spread eagle position
21:34which is as you see when they do the parachute jumping
21:37okay now
21:38there is also the what is called the signal shout
21:40which means that the people on the floor that you're leaving
21:43and the people on the ground that you're approaching
21:45then know that you're on your way
21:48and so therefore you have to give a great shout
21:51and remember that there is a lot of air interference
21:53there's the noise of the traffic
21:55so therefore they really
21:56you really need to let them know that you're coming
21:58as it were
21:58so if you were to bend like this
22:00one two three two two three three two three
22:03ahhh
22:05one two three two three three two three
22:09ahhh
22:11for example there is a fire on the floor below
22:14you might have to do this out of the window
22:20and remember that you have to signal to the other people on the building that you've left
22:24the premises
22:24so therefore it's essential that you shout quite loudly
22:27otherwise they might not even know you're gone
22:29or on your way
22:29they're waiting for you to know
22:30okay one two three two two three three two three
22:33ahhh
22:34ahhh
22:35that could be a lot louder
22:37I'll introduce you to captain starbuck from the marines
22:39because if we couldn't
22:40you might have to abseil
22:43I'm right into the river
22:45here's starbuck beadle with the abseiling lesson
22:48seven of these please
22:50oh these are uncomfortable
22:51ah sorry just
22:53no no no no
22:54into the bottom
22:54that's excellent
22:55that's very good
22:57you've done ballet
23:00that's very good
23:01now arms in here please
23:02up there okay
23:03now headphones on
23:05okay we've done the grunt
23:07can you just touch your toes please
23:09we haven't done the lagging
23:11we haven't done the lagging
23:24can you ever jump down to our window
23:26on the 17th floor
23:2822nd floor
23:29no
23:29you've done none of these
23:30no
23:31okay
23:32you're looking forward to it
23:33no
23:34I like it
23:37can you please get on the floor
23:40on the floor
23:40hands and knees please
23:42now
23:42can you shout
23:44now I want to pull you up
23:45okay
23:46can you please come up slowly
23:48just feel the strain
23:56I see
23:57okay
23:57are you on open-legged lander
23:59or up together lander
24:03I hope
24:03I saw your legs
24:04with your fat
24:05if I was doing a jumper
24:05now I want you to throw it at me
24:07go to the desk
24:08will be okay
24:08but with a big ahoy there
24:10okay
24:10to make sure
24:11okay
24:12right ready
24:13go
24:14ahoy there
24:19a bit further that way please
24:21this is drinking
24:23what's he called isn't it
24:29I don't like this
24:32it means almost everybody in our team
24:40who on earth did this
24:43this is a nightmare
24:45this is a complete nightmare
24:47oh this is ridiculous
24:50oh no
24:52really
24:54oh well
24:56any words to Annie
24:57oh
24:58no
25:01seriously
25:05I'm sorry
25:09is there a problem
25:10yes
25:10a very big problem
25:15tell me what do you think of Annie
25:17right now
25:18I'm going to go mad
25:19when I see her
25:26please keep those letters
25:28coming in for the new series
25:29and remember
25:29next time
25:30it could be you
25:31till then
25:31goodbye
25:42bye
26:15Don't relax, because Beatles are about again next Saturday at 10 past 7.
26:22Stay with us now on Yorkshire Television for the James Bond film Diamonds Are Forever,
26:27starring Sean Connery as 007.
26:54That makes a refreshing change.
26:59What a refreshing change.
27:02007.
27:14007.
27:22007.
27:40The Fiat Tempera has landed.
27:53The film is in the flowers, one hour.
28:29What can fill the Wofford gap?
28:32What bites off a crocodile snap?
28:34What makes Venus shut her trap?
28:36It's called Capri's Biscuit Boost.
28:39The shortcake biscuit goes down well.
28:41The caramel and chocolate tastes real swell.
28:46Biscuit Boost, a great big bite, contains a giant appetite.
28:51Give your snack life.
28:52Boost, a boost, Capri's boost.
28:57You know you make me want to shout.
29:00Shout.
29:01Shout.
29:02Shout.
29:03For everyday stains, when you need a really effective pre-wash treatment,
29:07you can rely on Shout.
29:08Just take the stain and shout it out.
29:10Shout.
29:11Shout.
29:13Shout.
29:15Shout it out.
29:18Thomas Cook have up to £250 off summer 1991 holidays and discounts on all children.
29:25We kid you not.
29:29The all-new Sunday magazine and part one of the body book.
29:33Both free in the news of the world this Sunday.
29:36There's lots going on between the covers.
29:45The new Dimension MyCam Digital Stereo Sound is now available with selected programs on ITV and Channel 4.
29:52Check with local dealers.
29:55He's powerful.
29:58Break your back.
30:00He's passionate.
30:02I'm not your possession.
30:03As long as we're married, you are whatever I want you to be.
30:06A man of endless wealth.
30:08I'll buy Russian petroleum if I want to.
30:11Russian oil is black, not red.
30:12And boundless greed.
30:14It's not enough, Tosta.
30:16I'm looking to beat the hell out of these gorillas.
30:20Onassis, the richest man in the world, tomorrow and concludes Monday on ITV.
30:28This is Yorkshire Television, your station on the ITV network.
30:41Now, the entertainment is kept really high with James Bond and Diamonds Are Forever.