- 2 days ago
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00:00Music
00:05Music
00:06Music
00:11Music
00:12Music
00:23Let's go.
00:42He's a very lucky boy.
00:44I've never seen so many presents.
00:47Oh, that reminds me, you haven't had yours yet.
00:49Yeah.
00:50It's from all of us. Merry Christmas.
00:52Oh, thank you both.
00:53Oh, while we're at it.
00:56For both of you.
00:58Oh, you shouldn't have. We won't expect anything where we are.
01:01No, no, no, we won't.
01:02It's not very much, but I thought of you the minute I saw it.
01:06Oh, that's very kind.
01:08Oh, very nice. Thank you both very much.
01:12Oh, a new iron.
01:14Oh, lovely.
01:15Well, I knew your old one was playing you up, and I thought it'd do your turn.
01:18Well, it's very much appreciated, isn't it?
01:20Yeah, very much so. Thanks, Nellie.
01:23Do you know, I wish you'd change your mind to come and have your Christmas dinner with us.
01:26No, you'll have a house full.
01:27Besides, it'd be rude after Jules has gone to all that trouble.
01:31Oh, left him slaving over a hot stove, have you?
01:34Well, he hadn't actually started when I left, but I know he's got it all under control.
01:38Well, you're still welcome to change your mind. You could invite Jules as well, eh?
01:42Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:43So we'll be fine. Maybe we'll call in later for a drink.
01:46Well, that'd be nice.
01:47Oh, here's the oven.
01:48Oh, hello. Merry Christmas.
01:50Merry Christmas.
01:50Merry Christmas.
01:51Merry Christmas.
02:06Merry Christmas.
02:08Morning.
02:11I bought you something.
02:14I didn't know what to do.
02:21I've got something for you, too.
02:23What's that?
02:26Divorce papers.
02:28You've been going through my things.
02:29You said you'd signed them.
02:31I wanted time to read them properly.
02:33You've had them for weeks.
02:34I've been busy. I haven't had time.
02:36Yeah, well, you've got time now.
02:37I want to make sure I'm doing the right thing. I need time to think.
02:40What's there to think about?
02:41I don't want you as a wife anymore.
02:43But I should talk to someone, a solicitor.
02:45You said you'd posted them to stop sodding about and sign the forms.
02:48But, Ron, it's Christmas Day.
02:51Merry Christmas.
03:01So we're going, then, or what?
03:03Going where?
03:03The Jacksons.
03:05Oh, yeah, I thought it'd be fun.
03:06You know, Pat will be there.
03:07And we did promise Claire she could see Janine.
03:08Oh, please.
03:09Ted?
03:10Oh, well, we'll see how we feel after dinner, eh?
03:12Right.
03:13So do you like it, then, Claire?
03:14Yeah, of course she does. It's brilliant, innit?
03:16Whoa.
03:17Nigel, haven't you forgotten you're meant to be doing something for me?
03:20What?
03:20Oh, the turkey.
03:21What about it?
03:22Well, you promised you'd take the bits out for me.
03:24Oh, right.
03:25Here you are.
03:26Watch it on the corner as it wobbles a bit.
03:28Oh, well, mind you there.
03:29Put your stuff in for me.
03:31All right.
03:37You all right, darling?
03:38Yeah.
03:39Do you want to go inside and watch one of your videos?
03:41In a minute.
03:42Nigel's going to teach me how to do a wheelie.
03:44Oh, yeah.
03:46It's a nice Christmas, isn't it?
03:47Yeah.
03:48Better than last year.
03:49Yeah.
03:51Right, I'm going in.
04:01What happened to us, Grant?
04:04If I sign these, it's over.
04:07All of it.
04:09Everything we ever talked about, dreamed about.
04:12No.
04:14It was over when you slept with somebody else.
04:19This is just cleaning up afterwards.
04:22I still love you, you know.
04:25Grant?
04:27What do you expect from me, eh?
04:29I don't know.
04:31Time.
04:32A chance to explain, to talk about.
04:34I'm done talking.
04:35I just want it finished with.
04:38I don't want you anymore.
04:40I won't believe that.
04:42I can't.
04:44Grow up, Sharon.
04:48I don't love you.
04:50We're not going to get back together again,
04:51and there's no such thing as Father Christmas.
04:55Now sign the forms.
04:59So what time are they coming?
05:01About 12.30.
05:03I thought we'd eat about one.
05:04Get it over with.
05:06So much for the quiet family Christmas, eh?
05:08Well, if Bianca and Vicky are serious about each other,
05:11we'll have to do this sooner or later.
05:13Mm.
05:15Are you going to be all right?
05:17Well, spending Christmas dinner with me woman's ex-boyfriend
05:20ain't exactly what I planned.
05:21But I don't see as if I've got much choice.
05:24But you will try, won't you?
05:26For Bianca's sake.
05:28I won't show you up if that's what you mean.
05:30I know you won't.
05:32Just make sure you don't get a bigger dinner than me.
05:56Oh, Mum, that's smashing.
05:58Thanks very much.
05:59You should be.
05:59Quite nice of it.
06:00I'm worth it, though, aren't I?
06:02Yours all right, Ricky?
06:03Yeah, it's nice.
06:04What did Bianca get you?
06:06Oh, just some tapes and that.
06:08Got to go back and pick her up?
06:09No, she's got to see little and so I said I'd make her over there.
06:12What time are you expecting this, Mum?
06:14Oh, half twelve.
06:15Just make sure there's no arguments when we get there, the pair of you.
06:17I don't want you showing me up.
06:19You know me, Mr Placid.
06:21Yeah, well, just make sure you are.
06:23Well, we're not going to be there that long, are we?
06:25Only as long as we have to.
06:27I can't leave too early.
06:28At least make a go of it.
06:29We will, love.
06:30I just think the less time we're there, the less chance there is of any arguments.
06:34What's there to argue about?
06:35We're only going to Christmas dinner.
06:37Let's just hope you're right, shall we?
06:42Aren't you going to open it?
06:46Please talk to me, Grant.
06:50Okay, darling.
06:52Anything for you.
06:52What would you like to talk about?
06:54Us.
06:55Us?
06:57Well, who's going to go first, eh?
06:59You or me?
07:01I don't mind.
07:03Well, let's talk about you, eh?
07:06Why did you sleep with my brother?
07:09Oh, what?
07:10That one a little too difficult.
07:12Well, let's try an easier one, eh?
07:14Why did you sleep with my brother?
07:18I...
07:19You?
07:22It's hard to explain.
07:24Yeah, of course it must be.
07:27Well, how about if I give you a list of possibilities and you just pick one of you?
07:30That'd be easier.
07:33It seemed like a good idea at the time.
07:35You couldn't resist his aftershave.
07:38It was dark.
07:39You couldn't see who it was.
07:41Because...
07:42You're a slut.
07:43It's not true.
07:44Stop saying that.
07:45Okay.
07:46And what would you call yourself, eh?
07:49I made a mistake.
07:51No, a mistake is giving someone salt and vinegar crisps when they ask for cheese and onion.
07:54Hardly the same, is it?
07:55But you won't give me a chance to explain.
07:56Why should I give you a chance to do anything?
07:58I don't know.
07:59Because you loved me once.
08:02Because I'm still your wife.
08:03Because it's Christmas Day.
08:04Anything.
08:05Just try.
08:06Oh, yeah.
08:06It's Christmas.
08:08The season of goodwill to all sluts.
08:11Well, let's get in the spirit of things, eh?
08:14Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way.
08:19Oh, what fun it is to write.
08:21On a one or so phone sign.
08:23One, stop it, please.
08:27Sign the forms.
08:35Hi.
08:36All right.
08:37I think you'll stand there.
08:38Come in.
08:39She's through there.
08:42Hello, baby.
08:44Come in.
08:44Look what that is going to be.
08:45Yeah, look at you.
08:47Come in.
08:48Mwah.
09:01Hello.
09:03Hello, Mum.
09:05No, no.
09:06We're just having a quiet one, you know.
09:09Oh, yeah, yeah.
09:09I think she's enjoying herself.
09:11You want to talk to her?
09:16No, sorry, Mum.
09:17She's basing the turkey at the moment.
09:20Yeah, yeah.
09:21Ring you later on.
09:22Hoping to.
09:23Later on this afternoon, eh?
09:25Just make sure Phil doesn't eat all the mince pies, eh?
09:30You're all right, Mum.
09:30Lots of love, yeah?
09:32Merry Christmas.
09:39Here we are.
09:40You mean we're eating here?
09:42As much food as you can eat.
09:43And no washing up.
09:48The Derby and Joan Christmas party.
09:52Jules!
09:53Nelly!
09:54Come on, Ethel.
09:55Excuse me, please.
10:00You made it!
10:02We just about given you up.
10:04Oh, Merry Christmas, Nelly.
10:06Here.
10:06I saved you a place next to me.
10:16And what do you think you're doing?
10:18What's it look like?
10:20The pub's supposed to be open.
10:21Tough.
10:23Don't you think you're being a little bit childish?
10:25Christmas has been cancelled.
10:26Lack of interest.
10:27There's partners outside.
10:28And that's where they're staying.
10:29We're closed!
10:33And what do you think this is going to prove, eh?
10:35Nothing.
10:36I just don't see why I should stand behind that bar
10:38pretending to be happy when I'm not.
10:39Oh, we're feeling sorry for ourselves, are we?
10:41Oh, say what you like.
10:42I'm past arguing.
10:43Then sign the forms.
10:44When I'm ready.
10:46You won't do what I want, so why should I help you?
10:48Oh, and what is it you want me to do, eh?
10:50To talk.
10:52Change the record, Sharon.
10:54We've got nothing to say to each other.
10:56Fine.
10:57Then sign the flaming forms yourself.
11:03All right.
11:04Merry Christmas.
11:04Happy Christmas.
11:08Merry Christmas.
11:11Merry Christmas, Alan.
11:13Merry Christmas, Alan.
11:15Table looks nice.
11:17You three up and let me sit down, please.
11:19Anything I can do, Carol?
11:20No, thanks.
11:21It's just nearly ready.
11:24Do you like a drink or anything?
11:26Oh, yeah, that'd be nice.
11:27Cheers, mate.
11:28We'll open this then, shall we?
11:31Yeah, yeah, yeah.
11:31I'll get some glasses.
11:32Yeah, I'll just check and see if the dinner's ready.
11:34I'll give you a hand.
11:35Well, don't worry about it.
11:36I should carry on.
11:47Seems a lot of effort, though.
11:48Take the ten minutes eating.
11:49No one does a Christmas dinner like Pauline.
11:51I've always said that.
11:52Yeah, I bet the sprouts are nice.
11:54Great.
11:54Well, I've got friends in Australia, you know, and every Christmas they go on the beach.
11:59They do the full works, turkey, trimmings, the lot.
12:01That must be mad.
12:02I went over there one year, Boxing Day.
12:05I mean, the heat in Adelaide was unbearable.
12:08Look, I think the turkey's better off in the oven.
12:10It's not a proper Christmas, though, is it?
12:11Not like what we have.
12:12Of course it is.
12:13Doesn't matter what the weather's like, still Christmas.
12:15I mean, we think it snows every year, but it don't.
12:17It used to.
12:18What?
12:18Snow every year.
12:19Of course it didn't.
12:20I'm telling you, we had a white Christmas every year.
12:23That was before the holes in the ozone layer on that greenhouse thingy.
12:26Oh, that's the technical term, as a dad.
12:28Greenhouse thingy.
12:29You know what I mean?
12:30Anyway, it always used to snow.
12:32Yeah, yeah, the summers were hot.
12:33Yes, they were.
12:34You just want to remember it like that.
12:36No.
12:39Oh, cheers, thanks.
12:43How's Phil doing?
12:44Oh, he's OK.
12:45You're not going to see him today?
12:47Well, I might pop round there later.
12:48I'll see how it goes.
12:49Hmm.
12:50That's a nasty business.
12:51Yeah, well, don't let's go into all that again.
12:53I'm sure Cathy's sick of it.
12:54I'm only saying.
12:55Yeah, well, don't.
12:56You don't mind, do you, Claire?
12:57No, no.
12:58Oh, yeah.
12:59Yes, well, let's leave it at that, then, shall we?
13:01Oh.
13:03I wonder where Nellie's getting on.
13:04I wonder if she's got jewels under the mistletoe yet.
13:06God help him if she has.
13:08Well, I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
13:09It's a joke.
13:10Yeah, I think it was very nice of jewels to invite her.
13:13I hope they're having a whale of a time.
13:15Well, cheers.
13:16Happy Christmas.
13:16Happy Christmas.
13:19I've never liked parsnips.
13:21What?
13:21Well, they're giving us parsnips.
13:23Well, don't eat them.
13:25You've got to eat your parsnips.
13:26I mean, Christmas isn't Christmas without parsnips, is it?
13:30Mummy always did some.
13:32I thought you didn't like them.
13:34Well, I mean, you've got to eat them.
13:36Then it wasn't like it is today, all these Macdougals all over the place.
13:41Dollies.
13:41Oh, yes.
13:43Well, are they another lot?
13:45Well, many coats are all the same.
13:48Potatoes like matchsticks and all of it disguised in a bun.
13:56He's all right, isn't he?
13:58Very nice.
13:59Oh, he'll pull my cracker any day.
14:03Oh, you just wait till I get the hands on the mistletoe.
14:08He won't know what's hitting.
14:11You don't change, do you?
14:13Better than being like you.
14:15What do you mean?
14:16Well, I mean, you've had a face like a bulldog's backside ever since you come in here.
14:22Yes, well, perhaps it's the cup.
14:24Yes, well, it might be.
14:26I mean, I bet there's about 30 people in here.
14:30I doubt all of them will see another Christmas.
14:36But there's only one with an unsmiling face.
14:40Meaning me, I suppose.
14:42Well, if the cat fits well, it's...
14:49All you're doing is cutting off your nose to spite your face.
14:53I've spent two months listening to you calling me names.
14:56Treating me like I'm nothing.
14:57And trying not to blame you.
14:59Convincing myself that it's not your fault, that it's mine.
15:03I've been asking you, begging you to talk about it, but you won't.
15:06You just cut me off.
15:07Well, I've had enough.
15:09You made your bed.
15:10Don't blame me if you don't want to lie in it.
15:12Oh, I know what I did was wrong.
15:15But how long have I got to pay for it?
15:17Another month?
15:18A year?
15:19The rest of my life?
15:20Yeah.
15:21If that's what it takes.
15:23Well, I'm sorry, Grant, but I can't.
15:26I won't.
15:27Oh, so that's it then, Sharon.
15:29Enough now.
15:30Don't want to play anymore.
15:32You got any beers?
15:33Yeah, help yourself.
15:36Hey, great.
15:37You buy these for me?
15:39You're not the only guest I have, you know.
15:40All right, these just happen to be the ones I used to buy.
15:43Coincidence?
15:44Oh, yeah, of course it is.
15:46Hey, do you want me to do anything?
15:47Like what?
15:48Well, I could help with the drying up, if you want, I mean.
15:50You help with the drying up?
15:52You'd be surprised at what I can do these days, you know.
15:54Really?
15:55Yeah.
15:55Cooking, cleaning.
15:56I do a great shepherd's pie.
15:58Hmm.
15:59Amazing what you can buy in a box these days, isn't it?
16:01No, I actually make it.
16:03You get some mincemeat, you get some tomatoes, you've got to be careful.
16:07All right, all right, I'll take your word for it.
16:09I just never thought I'd see the day, that's all.
16:11I'm full of surprises.
16:13Is that so?
16:15Yeah.
16:16Give me half a chance and I'll show you.
16:19So show me.
16:23I've just had enough.
16:24Then sign the divorce papers.
16:26I will when it suits me, when I've seen a solicitor.
16:28And what's a solicitor going to do for you, eh?
16:30Well, tell me what I'm entitled to, what my rights are.
16:32You haven't got any rights.
16:33We'll see.
16:34All right, you fight me, take me to court.
16:36Everything they say you can have, I'll burn to the ground.
16:38Just leave me alone.
16:39I'll haunt you.
16:40Everywhere you turn, I'll be looking at you.
16:41You won't have a life because I won't let you have one.
16:43Ron, please.
16:43You'll have nothing, just like I've done.
16:45For God's sake, can't you see, I can't take any more.
16:49Just leave me alone.
17:16Great party, I'm gonna miss it for the world.
17:18Don't you start.
17:19You cut the atmosphere better than you could the turkey.
17:22Well, I don't know what to do.
17:23Well, spite their drinks or something, anything's better than this.
17:25Oh, so we'll all end up like you, I suppose.
17:27Well, what else is there to do apart from get drunk?
17:29Don't go on now.
17:30If I'd known it was going to be a flaming wake, I wouldn't have bothered.
17:33Well, don't stay on her, I can.
17:35Why don't you go and give Derek a ring, eh?
17:36I'm sure he'll be pleased to hear from you.
17:40What's all that about?
17:41Nothing.
17:42It sounded like she was having a dig.
17:45You and Derek split up or something, then?
17:47No.
17:48Well, what, then?
17:48I told you nothing.
17:50Oh, so you've gone away or something?
17:51Look, there is no Derek, all right?
17:53What?
17:55I got sick of watching you two slobbering all over each other, so I made him up, OK?
18:00Bianca would have told you sooner or later anyway.
18:04I suppose you think I'm really stupid now, don't you?
18:06No.
18:07Yes, you do.
18:09Still, I'll give you both something to have a good laugh about later, won't it?
18:16Thanks, Carol.
18:17That was, er, that was very nice.
18:19I'm glad you enjoyed it.
18:20Yeah.
18:21It was lovely.
18:22Crying out loud.
18:23Ow!
18:27Did you see that before?
18:28Look, just shut it.
18:29We'll pack it in the pair of you.
18:32Yay!
18:33Merry Christmas!
18:36Merry Christmas!
18:37Merry Christmas!
18:40What are we doing?
18:41Having a minute's silence for the turkey?
18:50Would you still have come if you'd known where you were going?
18:53Probably not.
18:55That's why I didn't tell you.
18:57I thought you might even be angry.
18:58I don't blame you.
19:00I'm starting to realise sometimes I'm my own worst enemy.
19:03Well, let's say you're, um, a little set in your week.
19:07Well, you're more polite than Ethel.
19:09I'll give you that.
19:11Ethel?
19:11Oh, it doesn't matter.
19:13You know, the only thing that matters is that you're enjoying yourself.
19:17It's the best Christmas I've had in years.
19:23Merry Christmas.
19:26Oh, you look very attractive.
19:27Get stuffed.
19:28Doesn't matter what I look like now.
19:32You never find anyone better than me.
19:34You reckon.
19:35I know.
19:37I lift up any stone, I'll find three of you.
19:39You wish.
19:42You don't know what you want, dear.
19:44I don't want you.
19:45You made that perfectly clear.
19:46So why didn't you sign the divorce papers?
19:49I don't know.
19:52Look, I know what I did was wrong.
19:54Wrong?
19:54All right, it was the biggest mistake in the history of the world, at least.
19:57Let me finish.
19:59Do you think I'd have put up with this if I wasn't sorry?
20:03If I didn't feel guilty?
20:05If I didn't know what I'd done to you?
20:07Well, whatever I've done, I don't deserve this.
20:11You've never thought why, have you?
20:14Why I did it.
20:15You've never thought that a part of it, no matter how small, might be down to you.
20:19Oh, what?
20:20So it's my fault now, is it?
20:21No.
20:22But you'd think I'd have done something like that if we'd been happy?
20:26If I'd been happy?
20:27Think about it.
20:29Think about how you were treating me.
20:32How I used to dread you coming home drunk in case you picked a fight.
20:37You weren't a husband, a lover.
20:41You weren't even a friend.
20:45Even when you weren't drunk, you'd fly off the handle for no reason.
20:47I was terrified of you.
20:49You treated me like dirt and you wonder why I turned to someone else.
20:53Yeah, but that someone else was my brother.
20:54It doesn't matter who it was.
20:57What matters is that I felt the need to do it in the first place.
21:02Okay, what I did was wrong.
21:03I've said that.
21:04But you were the cause and you made it happen.
21:10We could still make it all right, you know.
21:14It doesn't have to be too late.
21:18I think she's worn herself out.
21:20Yeah.
21:21I know the feeling.
21:25She really enjoyed you being here today.
21:28Yeah.
21:30Me too.
21:39You ruined anything we had.
21:41I know.
21:43But there's nothing I wouldn't do to get it back.
21:47All you've got to do is say the word.
21:51You've got no idea what it feels like, have you?
21:56Do you ever have anybody ram their fist down your throat and pull out your insides?
22:04Oh, I know you're hurting, darling.
22:08I can make it better if you'll let me.
22:12I can always make it better.
22:18Is that how it was with Phil, eh?
22:20Is that how you came on to him?
22:21No.
22:22Look at you.
22:23Just like your mother, drunk and begging for it.
22:25He told me that's how it was.
22:26What?
22:27Phil, you told me how you came on to him.
22:29And you threw yourself at him.
22:30He said that.
22:30He told me everything.
22:31And you tried it all.
22:32And he tried to stop you.
22:33And you were all over him.
22:34That's not true.
22:35That doesn't lie to me anymore.
22:36I know everything.
22:38He even said if it hadn't been him, it'd have been somebody else.
22:40No.
22:42You make me sick.
22:52Hello, my mate.
22:54Hello, my mate.
22:54Is it something called salmon, yeah?
22:56Godzilla meets Loch Ness Monster in New York.
23:00What is that thing?
23:01You know that.
23:02Are you seeking salmon?
23:04No.
23:05A fish called wonder?
23:06Oh, fish.
23:37Oh, fish.
23:41Oh, fish.
23:46Oh, fish.
23:49Oh, fish.
23:56Oh, fish.
23:58Oh, my God.
24:32Silent night, holy night, shepherds quake at the sight.
24:48Love is free from heaven and on.
24:58Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia.
25:06Christ the Saviour is born.
25:15Christ the Saviour is born.
25:25Christ the Saviour is born.