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00:06The
00:07Drinks are on me and the dancing's free.
00:09Take one motor mouth DJ.
00:12Bow chicka wow wow.
00:14Three open mouth rivals.
00:17Paul might grate on me. I can tell on that in the first five minutes.
00:21And get them to mix up some grub.
00:23The ladies will love a big portion.
00:26There's plenty of cheese.
00:27Yowza, yowza, yowza.
00:30She was like an hello.
00:32And behaviour that takes the biscuit.
00:34Whoop, whoop.
00:36I feel like he wants to be the knee and he's not.
00:39That remark kind of hurt me a little bit.
00:41I've had enough, thank you.
00:43Before secret scoring,
00:45sees one of them win a thousand pound prize.
00:50Me and Mark's pants was a good end to an okay night.
01:20This week we're in Hull, the birthplace of...
01:23Ugh.
01:25Gabba's gone, Gordon.
01:27Here you go, girls.
01:28And hoping not to give her guests indigestion is no-nonsense housewife, Becky Harrison.
01:34People will find that I've got a very sharp tongue.
01:36I'm very quick-witted and...
01:39A good cleaner?
01:40I always have the last word.
01:41If somebody acts the fool, like trying to be funny all the time and they're just not,
01:45it will, it just, it'll just rile me.
01:48Don't forget, it's never dull, in all.
01:52Meet Becky's nightmare.
01:54DJ, married father of two and all-round cheese-meister, Paul Green.
01:58I do not take myself seriously whatsoever.
02:01I shouldn't think anyone does.
02:02Up for a laugh, 24-7.
02:04Life's too short.
02:06I got into DJing because with a face like man, you need as much help as you can get.
02:11The women are always attracted to the DJ.
02:14That's job done.
02:14You've broken the ice.
02:15You're talking to girls.
02:16It's brilliant.
02:18Let them flair to work.
02:19If they want to make a fool out of themselves, then let them get on with it.
02:24Be very careful what you wish for.
02:28This week's third competitor is single marketing manager, Eve Clark.
02:32Very black and white person.
02:33I'll either like you or I won't.
02:36I've got a very short attention span.
02:38So, if you don't make me fall asleep, you know, you're lucky.
02:44Sorry, what was that?
02:45Back with Becky and the competition's underway.
02:47Pulling the seeds out of the pumpkin, it's like pulling intestines out.
02:50Very appetising.
02:51For her starter, she's making Thai-style pumpkin soup.
02:54I don't know how a Thai-style pumpkin, I don't actually know what one is,
02:58unless they make something and put it in an actual pumpkin,
03:01which will look quite nice, on Halloween.
03:04With the Thai influence, it should be more of a consomme than a pile of baby food.
03:12Yeah, I think that was a joke.
03:15Our line-up is completed by Amdram director, Mark Daniels.
03:19Oh, the hell with this to Beth. Let's be honest.
03:22Taste him. Comprehensible.
03:24I have been known to bitch. There's good bitches and there's bad bitches.
03:28And I hope that I'm a good bitch.
03:31Meanwhile, Becky combines onions, ginger, curry paste, diced pumpkin and stock.
03:34I'm feeling confident about the food. I'm a little bit nervous about meeting everybody.
03:39Erm, my stomachs play me up a bit. Erm, which happens when I get nervous.
03:44Somebody open a window.
03:46I won't stand too close.
03:47Yeah. Talking of stomach upsets, she adds coconut milk and it's ready for reheating later.
03:52Next it's dessert. Key lime pie with coconut ice cream.
03:56Oh my god, it's my favourite. Key lime pie.
03:59Mmm. That sounds nice.
04:02After mixing crushed biscuits and butter, she creates her base.
04:06It's really hard to get in the edges when you're pressing this down, so pack it in.
04:10So if you bend your spoon, you could do a Uri Gala.
04:13Blimey. Like that.
04:16It's easy to press in.
04:17I hope that's not her best silver.
04:20For the pie filling, she whisks lime juice, cream and condensed milk.
04:25And into the fridge it goes.
04:27The final dish to prep is her Thai-based mane of pan-fried chicken with coconut chilli jam.
04:33I don't know. I like me jam as jam.
04:36Not chilli jam. I like strawberry jam and marmalade.
04:39That's jam. Chilli jam.
04:41There you go.
04:43Let's hope it's not too hot.
04:45Cos I don't like many hot things in my mouth.
04:48Right.
04:48For her chilli jam, Becky mixes coconut cream, café lime leaves, fish sauce and chilli paste.
04:53It's not actually jam.
04:55Well don't call it jam then.
04:57I don't really know why they put jam in the title.
05:00I don't know.
05:02She'll cook the rest of her mane tonight.
05:03It's very nice. It's got a bit of a kick.
05:06After a quick change and a final tweak of the table, she's ready for her first guest.
05:12Let the games begin.
05:14It's Howl's wackiest DJ, Paul.
05:17Hello.
05:19How are you? I'm Becky.
05:20Nice to meet you, Becky.
05:21Nice to meet you. Come on in.
05:23Thank you very much.
05:23Superman.
05:24Well, you know, I was going to come as Batman.
05:26I didn't want you to think I lived in a cave.
05:28Just get in.
05:29Cheers.
05:31Next to arrive is theatre-lovie Mark.
05:35Hello. How are you?
05:37I'm Mark. I'm Becky.
05:38Nice to meet you.
05:40Always two in showbiz, darling.
05:43Mark, this is Paul. Paul, Mark.
05:45Nice shirt. I'm loving the shirt.
05:46Thanking you.
05:46You're all going with the pearl buttons.
05:48Oh, yes.
05:49It's all fashion. It's all in at the moment.
05:50It is, so I'm told.
05:52Maybe in hell.
05:53There you go. Enjoy.
05:55Thanking you.
05:55I haven't eaten all day.
05:57Really? Oh, I couldn't go all day without food.
05:59I'd be shaking and then I'd probably deck somebody.
06:02And a bit of booze inside, you get a bit feisty.
06:04When I've had a drink, anything can happen.
06:07Bring it up. I haven't got a hot tub, have you?
06:09You've only just met them, Paul.
06:11A woman! Thank God!
06:12Nice to meet you.
06:14Last in is Eve.
06:15Hi!
06:16That's it, Paul. Nice and cool.
06:18This is Eve.
06:19Eve. Hi, Eve.
06:19Yeah, nice to meet you.
06:20Eve, you look lovely.
06:22I'm going to shake your hand.
06:24Sorry.
06:25When Eve walked in, she was like, hello.
06:29Shook her hand. Bonus.
06:31At least I get to touch this girl.
06:33She's fit.
06:34Oi! Remember you're married.
06:36Coming up, Paul's imitating.
06:38Thank you. I'm ringing with me.
06:40You might talk like that in your house.
06:43Paul's irritating.
06:45Cheese.
06:45Cake.
06:46Cheese.
06:47Cake.
06:48If Paul gets louder than last night, I really don't know how I'm going to cope with that.
06:52And Paul's gyrating.
07:07No-nonsense mum, Becky Harrison is entertaining three strangers. They'll mark her efforts and after they've all cooked, one of
07:13them will win a thousand pounds.
07:14No worries.
07:14Thank you very much.
07:15It's lime juice, elderflower cordial and Prosecco.
07:19I don't even know what Prosecco is.
07:20Prosecco is Italian sparkling wine.
07:21Is it?
07:22Yeah.
07:22Ah, a bit like Lambrini.
07:24Only much, much nicer.
07:27It's a posh Lambrini.
07:29No, no, no, no, no, no.
07:30Paul might grate on me.
07:32I can tell on that in the first five minutes.
07:34I feel like he wants to be the showman.
07:37And I think he's going to be thinking he's funny and he's not.
07:42Got him in one.
07:43Right, cheers.
07:44Cheers.
07:45Have a Bob-On week.
07:46Cheers.
07:47Sorry, what was that?
07:48Never heard of Bob-On at all.
07:51Quite the way he was getting that, I have no idea.
07:54Let's get the food out.
07:55Becky's starter is Thai-style pumpkin soup.
07:58Lovely.
07:59Chomping out the vessier.
08:01You're not getting me.
08:03Come on.
08:05We've got a good deal here.
08:07We've got two beautiful ladies.
08:09Good food.
08:10Bit of booze.
08:11Happy days.
08:12Not sure the ladies are as happy.
08:14Really nice.
08:15Really lovely.
08:17The starter exceeded my expectations.
08:20It was actually Bob-On.
08:21A little Bob-Off.
08:23It was lovely.
08:24Really nice.
08:24It's something that I'd try and do myself at home.
08:27So, Eve, have you always lived in Hull?
08:28Always lived in Hull.
08:29All my family are from Hull.
08:31You're a proper old bird.
08:33You can't beat an old bird.
08:35Eve is one of them kind of girls who's, er...
08:38Other ladies, hit the ladies.
08:41Independent woman.
08:43But she wants a man.
08:45And you've got no chance, especially as you're married.
08:48What do you reckon to the accent?
08:49Bloody awful.
08:50We don't pronounce our H's for one.
08:52No.
08:52We cannot say the word.
08:53Fern cow.
08:54Telephone.
08:55I reckon a fern cow.
08:57It's a fern cow.
08:58I'm ringing with me.
08:59You might talk like that in your house, but...
09:02It was.
09:03Hello.
09:04That went very well.
09:06Don't get too cocky.
09:08It's not over yet.
09:09I think they're going to really enjoy this man.
09:12If they don't, there's nothing wrong with them.
09:14She fries chicken and cuts corners with her rice.
09:20I've got to disguise the sound of the pink.
09:22Very crafty.
09:24Her mane's complete.
09:25Pan-fried chicken breast and chilli jam.
09:27It looks really nice.
09:29That's very kind.
09:30I am really worried.
09:32Are you frightened the asparagus is going to give you a smelly wee?
09:35No, but it's more about the presentation.
09:37Your presentation is cock on.
09:39It's chicken, not cock.
09:41Becky, I don't like rice.
09:43I'm just really funny about certain foods.
09:46A food reminds me of something.
09:48What is rice about you?
09:48Thank you, yeah.
09:49Maggots.
09:51I'm sorry, but it does.
09:52I don't like rice.
09:53It would have been nice to maybe have some potatoes on there as well.
09:57The chilli jam was jam.
10:00No chilli.
10:02No flavour.
10:03So, Paul, what do you do for living?
10:05Annoy people.
10:05I'm actually a DJ.
10:08Can I just ask, you're not one of these DJs that plays...
10:10I could do.
10:12No.
10:13Well...
10:13Are you a...
10:16I'm not...
10:19What, Rolf Harris?
10:21I'm a DJ slag.
10:23What's a DJ slag?
10:24A DJ slag is a person...
10:26You think you're down with the kids, but you're not really.
10:28Ouch!
10:29Yeah.
10:29Yeah.
10:30Paul, I think the moment I walked in, he wanted to take the conversation out.
10:35Other people need to speak, even if it is for five seconds.
10:39Mark is the quieter one of the group.
10:41I'm sure that will come out as the week goes on.
10:43Only if Paul shuts up.
10:45Maybe someone else can get a word in over dessert.
10:48It's like the Berlin Wall.
10:49Oh!
10:50If it makes it to the table, Pud is key lime pie with homemade ice cream.
10:54This is good.
10:56It's beautiful.
10:57What do you reckon is your most scariest moment to date?
11:02It's probably becoming a parent.
11:05I would say my scariest moment would be when we were in Australia,
11:08which we travelled around for three months,
11:10and just before you turn off to go to Ayers Rock,
11:12we saw this guy on the side of the road,
11:15and he was just walking by himself.
11:17Now, bearing in mind, it's like a two-hour drive on this road.
11:19So he stopped, and this guy gets in the car with us.
11:23He's an absolute weirdo.
11:25And he's sat on the back seat, and he's got, like, a rucksack,
11:28and he's clinging on to this rucksack,
11:30and he's just, like, looking like this.
11:32My husband said to me,
11:33he said, what's in your rucksack?
11:34You're clinging on to that a bit tight.
11:36And he just looked into the mirror, and he just went,
11:39no, you're f***ing business.
11:41Yeah.
11:42And I just went cold, and I thought, oh, my God!
11:45Oh, my God, we're going to die!
11:46Get out, get out!
11:48And Wayne said, look, mate, I'm not being funny,
11:50but if you've got drugs or anything in there,
11:52and he said, we get stopped by the cops.
11:54He said, we're going to get done for it.
11:55He said, you need to tell us what's in the backpack.
11:57And he looked in the mirror, and he went,
11:59I told you, what are you f***ing business?
12:01Wayne said, look, mate, you're scaring me,
12:03you're scaring my wife.
12:04Just tell me what's in the backpack.
12:05He said, I've told you, it's not your business.
12:07So he said, look, mate, just get out now.
12:08Anyway, he goes to get out the car,
12:10and as he gets out the car, he steadies himself,
12:11and he puts his backpack on the back seat.
12:13My husband just sped off with the backpack on the back of the seat.
12:16No way!
12:17What was in the back?
12:18What was in the back?
12:18No, you're f***ing business!
12:22I was into that.
12:24That was a story that I was into that,
12:26and then for it to tell me at the end it was a wind-up,
12:28I felt let down.
12:29I was gutted.
12:31I fell for it hook, line and sinker,
12:33but it was really good,
12:34and I'm going to use that story myself sometime.
12:37Becky tonight was a perfect host.
12:40Excellent evening.
12:42The main course let her down a little bit,
12:44so tonight I give Becky an eight.
12:47The whole evening was a brilliant success.
12:50Becky worked really hard,
12:51and for that I'm going to score her an eight.
12:53I'm going to give Becky a right hold,
12:57Bob on seven.
12:59That gives Becky an impressive first night score of 23.
13:11It's day two and Mark's turn to host,
13:13but motormouth Paul is still on everyone's mind.
13:16Paul will either make me, drive me completely insane,
13:20or we'll become buddies.
13:22I honestly can't say.
13:25If Paul gets louder as the week goes on,
13:29and it's a lot louder than last night,
13:31I really don't know how I'm going to cope with that.
13:33I always get a little bit too boisterous.
13:35A few cheeky ones down me.
13:38Who knows what's going to happen?
13:40We do. You won't stop talking.
13:42Back in the kitchen.
13:43I'm a messy cook.
13:44I don't choose any books, any recipes.
13:47I tend to wing it.
13:50Make it up as I go along.
13:51I thought so.
13:53Mark's dessert is supposed to be
13:55pistachio and pecan cheesecake with hot chocolate sauce.
14:01Not sure about the pistachios.
14:03Not keen on nuts.
14:04I'll have some, and I'll have a small bit,
14:06and I'll probably really, really enjoy it.
14:08But, yeah, better not be whacking a big piece on there for me.
14:11You got that, Mark?
14:13He makes his topping by mixing mascarpone,
14:15cream cheese, creme fraiche, and blended nuts.
14:19But being a man who likes nuts,
14:21I think I'll put some more in.
14:23Oh, here we go.
14:24For the base, he mixes crushed biscuits and butter.
14:26I think I put too much butter in.
14:28This looks a bit wet,
14:30but we all know what butter does when you put it in the fridge.
14:33It goes hard.
14:34As?
14:35As the actress said to the bishop.
14:37To the bishop. Well done.
14:38Got there in the end.
14:39Dessert prepped, it's on to the main.
14:40Pork pie with traffic light lasagne.
14:43Yes, you heard that right.
14:44What the hell?
14:47Well, I think it could be posh food.
14:49Depends if he's made the pork pie himself.
14:51Or it's just like a shop-bought pork pie.
14:56The pork pie is just a name.
14:59It's pork with pastry.
15:00So it's a beef wellington, but with a loin of pork.
15:03Genius.
15:04Just given a little bit of a funky name.
15:07Quite brilliant.
15:08After seasoning, he just needs to wrap his loins in pastry.
15:12I could have made my own puff pastry, but...
15:15You're too lazy.
15:17Why bother when it comes in a package?
15:18Because it's a cooking competition, Mark.
15:21After completing his not-really-a-pork pie,
15:23he covers ready for cooking later.
15:25Next, the accompaniment.
15:26Traffic light lasagne.
15:27I have absolutely no idea what a traffic light lasagne is,
15:31but I'm more than sure it will not go with pork pie.
15:33The lasagne traffic light because of the colours.
15:35Green on the bottom, yellow and red.
15:37People eat with their eyes before they eat with their mouth.
15:40That is simply not the case, Mark.
15:43The last dish to prep is his starter of portobello mushrooms
15:46with spicy lamb meatballs.
15:48I don't like either of those things.
15:51I really don't.
15:52I'm not keen on mushrooms, but I'll have a go with that.
15:55The spicy lamb meatballs.
15:57Yeah, that'll go down well.
15:59I make meatballs an awful lot,
16:04but it's getting the size of the meatballs
16:07so I can make them small enough
16:08to fit in the portobello mushrooms
16:11because there's nothing worse than having a big ball on your plate.
16:13I'm not even going to comment.
16:15Once satisfactorily shaped,
16:17he fills mushrooms with pesto and goat's cheese
16:19before heading off to get changed.
16:21My expectations for tonight after seeing this menu
16:24is anything goes up Mark's house.
16:26I don't know what to expect.
16:28It's a little bit of a dark horse.
16:30The shirt says it all.
16:31Yep, bad dress sense.
16:32It says minted, and that's what it's going to be.
16:36On the final night, £1,000 just there.
16:39I know someone who'll beg to differ.
16:41Last night's host, Becky.
16:43Hello.
16:43Hello.
16:44Look at you, Mr Sparkly.
16:46Look at you.
16:46Pink and sparkling or white and sparkling?
16:48I love white and sparkling.
16:49Second to the shindig is Eve.
16:51What?
16:53Hi, Becky.
16:54How are you?
16:55I'm good.
16:55And there's just time to talk about Paul.
16:58I'm hoping he's coming out of his shell tonight.
17:00I'm hoping he will, yeah,
17:01because the rest of us,
17:01we won't have to talk as much, will we?
17:04I'm hoping I can get a word in edgeways.
17:06I know.
17:07If not, it's Paul part two.
17:09Yeah, it's still Paul's now.
17:10And here he comes, silly, belt-wearing, big-mouth Paul.
17:18Hello, sir.
17:19Paul, how good to see you.
17:20How good to see you.
17:21And flowers as well.
17:22I'm liking yours.
17:24Very friendly.
17:24Very well.
17:25Loving the belt.
17:26And what's the Batman tonight?
17:28You was my super girl last night.
17:29Erm, so tonight you're my...
17:32Catwoman.
17:33Cat lady.
17:33Oh, thank you.
17:34Cat lady.
17:34Cat lady.
17:35Cat lady.
17:35I thought I was going to be the Batman.
17:37Oh!
17:38I thought you were the Joker, actually.
17:41Well, Batboy finishes his starter,
17:43the others get to snoop round his cave.
17:45Ooh!
17:50That actually looks like quite a short bed, doesn't it?
17:52I'm not looking at the bed.
17:54Ooh, ooh, ooh.
17:55Ah, OK.
17:56That's nice pictures over there.
17:57Is that a headdress?
17:59Oh, yeah.
18:00Maybe if you've got a four foot wide head.
18:01I think this might be part of some kind of flamboyant drag act.
18:07I can't believe you're looking at that.
18:10Maybe you should put those on.
18:12By the end of the night, you could have those on.
18:14With a big pair of socks stuffed on.
18:16A really big pair of socks.
18:17What a hideous thought.
18:18Just make your excuses and do it.
18:20He's dying to get them on now.
18:23Are you trying to...
18:23In fact, he's actually already got a pair of.
18:25Yeah, yeah.
18:26Duh!
18:27If that hasn't put the ladies off their dinner,
18:29here's the first course.
18:30Portobello mushrooms with spicy lamb meatballs.
18:33That looks lovely.
18:34It does.
18:35Can I just say, Mark, I'll confess.
18:37You know what I'm going to say already, don't you?
18:39You don't like meatballs.
18:40What do you think about meatballs?
18:41I don't know.
18:42I've never tried them before.
18:43I presumed I didn't like them.
18:45Take a little ball in your mouth, dear.
18:47Your balls are very spicy and I love them.
18:50I think at the starter, the meatballs were lovely,
18:53the sauce was great.
18:54And I'll definitely be trying meatballs again.
18:56Top job.
18:57Lovely.
18:59Bob on.
19:00Sir Mark, maybe we could find you a nice woman.
19:02It would take a long...
19:04Long way to find me a nice woman.
19:06I thought your room upstairs was very, very revealing.
19:10You must be referring to that huge feathered thing.
19:12It's part of a costume for a show.
19:15Are you, like, wearing that with...
19:17and kicking your legs like a can-can?
19:18I know where.
19:19Oh.
19:20Do you know where it is?
19:21Are you directing?
19:24Wow.
19:24I love drama.
19:25I told you.
19:27I knew he had a different side to him.
19:29Mark, I mean, I've got to know a hell of a lot about him tonight
19:32and it's quite, and it's really nice that he's shown us who he is.
19:36Let's hope you're as passionate about his mane.
19:38It's looking good to me.
19:40It's hot.
19:41It's cooked.
19:42It's massive.
19:44I think the ladies will love a big portion.
19:46Ah.
19:47Time for Mark's bizarre concoction.
19:49Pork pie with traffic light lasagna.
19:51There's no pork pie.
19:53LAUGHTER
19:55Wow.
19:56It's not what I was imagining at all.
19:58It's a beef Wellington but with pork.
19:59Oh, right, right.
20:00So instead of calling it pork Wellington,
20:02I just thought I'd give you a little think
20:05and make it pork pie.
20:07I don't get it.
20:08You know, putting a bit of Italian
20:11with a bit of an English dish.
20:16Nah.
20:17Too confusing.
20:18There was a, I was expecting pork pie
20:21and I didn't get pork pie
20:23and even though I don't like pork pie.
20:26What are you moaning about then?
20:28I got a bit of, I've got something
20:30but it wasn't pork pie.
20:32Just move on.
20:33What's that?
20:34OK.
20:35Have you just bought this table in an auction?
20:37Yeah.
20:38What's that about?
20:39It's definitely a quality table.
20:42What's it made of?
20:42Mahogany.
20:43Mahogany.
20:44Expensive piece of wood.
20:46It's a quality piece.
20:47There's some nice bit of casting underneath.
20:50So get DJing.
20:51You need to be a salesman.
20:52You can f*** it.
20:54You can f*** it really well.
20:55Yeah.
20:55Yeah, you're top of the...
20:56But what?
20:57Hang on.
20:58No, no, no.
20:58Seriously.
20:59No, but all salesmen.
21:00That's not so bad, that.
21:01What I'm trying to say is,
21:04it flows out your mouth.
21:06Like sewage from a pipe.
21:07Yeah.
21:08Yeah.
21:08Yeah.
21:10I might have made a few remarks to Paul tonight.
21:13I don't think he took it the wrong way.
21:15I don't f*** about anything I have to do or say.
21:19And that remark kind of hurt me a little bit.
21:22Oh, hopefully dessert will cheer the little fella up.
21:25The idea of the fizz whiz is two things.
21:28Tonight it will just give a little sparkle to send them off.
21:32Apparently while you've got fizz whiz in your mouth,
21:34you can't talk, Paul.
21:36Best give him two portions.
21:37Here it is, pistachio and pecan cheesecake.
21:40It's actually quite light considering it's cheesecake.
21:43Cheese. Cake.
21:45Yeah.
21:46Cheesecake.
21:47Cheesecake.
21:48Cheese. Cake.
21:50Fizz whiz didn't work then, he's still winding people up.
21:53Paul this evening has got on my nerves a little bit, to be honest.
21:57He doesn't give people the chance to speak.
21:58He likes to butt in a lot and he likes the sound of his own voice.
22:03Matt, do you mind if I just nip to your toe?
22:05Not at all.
22:07Thank you very much.
22:09Oh, no, he's not going to put on the, er...
22:13There's a grief.
22:14Oh, no, he has!
22:21Was I surprised by Paul doing that at the end of the night?
22:24Not at all.
22:25Not at all.
22:30Well done, yeah.
22:32I'm cracking these.
22:34I hope that is a sock.
22:36Taxi!
22:37Me and Mark's pants was a good end to an okay night.
22:41No.
22:41I've got to give it to him.
22:42That was, that was, erm...
22:45Bob on.
22:48At last, someone's warming to him.
22:51Unfortunately, some of the food tonight wasn't to my taste, but Mark was an absolutely fantastic hurt and made me
22:57feel very welcome and for that I'm giving him a seven.
23:00Tonight I'm going to score Mark my lucky number seven.
23:03The night was okay and for that reason I'm giving Mark a six.
23:08And that puts him in last place with a score of 20.
23:13Coming up, dodgy manners.
23:15God!
23:16It's a kiss bit.
23:18Deep emotions.
23:20I may come across that I've got confidence.
23:23Basically, I'm probably the most insecure person at this table.
23:26And divided loyalties.
23:28What did annoy me was I saw Eve across the table rolling her eyes and it really annoyed me a
23:32little bit.
23:32I'm not a shrink, so I'm not here to give counselling sessions.
23:44It's day three of the competition.
23:46Eve Clark's turn to host, but she's not looking forward to entertaining one of her guests.
23:50Can't think who.
23:55Paul has grated on me a little bit.
23:57Only a bit?
23:58And she's not the only one with DJ fatigue.
24:01There was a point where Paul very nearly won me around until I turned around and he appeared in some
24:09swimwear.
24:10But at least Becky's had a change of heart.
24:14Well, when I first met Paul, I really thought that he was going to be too much for me.
24:19Last night he showed me that, you know, you can sit down and have a conversation with him.
24:22And he's up for a laugh, which is really nice.
24:25Tonight, Eve's themed menu is inspired by her hometown.
24:27I'm sick to death of Hull being at the bottom of every league saying it's the worst city in England
24:33to live.
24:34So that's why tonight I'm putting on one whole of a menu.
24:36Ho-hey! Even cleverer is her main, Beef Wilberforce.
24:40I'm going to have a guess. It's Beef Wellington.
24:45But called Wilberforce, because he's from Hull.
24:48Not quite as daft as you look.
24:51Eve starts by seasoning her meat with whole grain mustard.
24:54Ha-ha!
24:55I hate the smell of mustard.
24:57In fact, I don't even like mustard. I don't even know why I'm including it.
25:00Well, no one's forcing you.
25:01She then wraps the beef.
25:03Done again, I don't even like Prosecutor neither.
25:05So I might not put any in mine.
25:07Yes, but what about the prosciutto?
25:09She then wraps each portion in pastry before setting aside to cook once her guests arrive.
25:13Main prepped, it's straight on with dessert.
25:16Hull fair on a plate, tenuously named in honour of the city's annual fair.
25:20The biggest in Europe.
25:22If she can do candy floss, I'm going to be dead impressed.
25:26Bad luck, it's coconut meringues which need loads of egg whites.
25:30This is really messy.
25:32Apparently this is the best way to do it, to do it through your fingers.
25:34You sure about that?
25:36Oh!
25:37Meh!
25:38Ah!
25:38Get it out, get it out, get it out, get it out, get it out!
25:41I'm going to start again.
25:41Better had, yeah.
25:42Here.
25:43Twelve eggs later?
25:45Well, have a seat, why don't you?
25:47She whisks the whites into peaks and they're ready to bake.
25:49She'll prepare the rest tonight.
25:51So last up, her hilarious sounding starter, halloo me salad.
25:55Do you see what she's done there?
25:57Hull-oo?
25:58U-M-I-O.
26:00Hull-oo me salad.
26:01Well done!
26:03Clever.
26:03Clever play on words.
26:05Yeah, genius.
26:06Salad.
26:07Not impressed.
26:08This is my hull-oo me cheese for my hull-oo me salad.
26:13Still not funny.
26:14And it's gorgeous, once it's fried.
26:17She'll finish her hilarious salad later, leaving her time to head upstairs with the mother
26:21of all make-up bags to get changed.
26:23Ready to greet first guest, Mark.
26:25Hi, Mark.
26:26Hi.
26:26How are you?
26:27You OK?
26:29Next in, the one she's not been waiting for, Paul.
26:31I'm here.
26:32I'm here.
26:33Bow-chicka-wow-wow.
26:35I could have guessed, actually, if someone asked me what belt you was wearing, I was
26:38going to say Spiderman.
26:39Lovely.
26:40We've had Superman.
26:40We've had Batman.
26:41Now we've got Spiderman.
26:42Can't wait to see what we've got tomorrow.
26:44Naffman.
26:45Bow-chicka-wow-wow.
26:47I mean, how she looks gorgeous.
26:50I must apologise to my missus, but when you've got eye candy like that in front of you, I'm
26:55sorry, but you've got to react.
26:57No, you haven't.
26:58And here's Paul's new best friend, Becky.
27:01Here she is.
27:02Beautiful.
27:02Becky.
27:03Hello.
27:04Look at you.
27:04You look gorgeous.
27:06I've got sweat on.
27:08I'm boiling.
27:09Oh, you're on.
27:10Right.
27:10You know, for two reasons.
27:12It's hot, and it's hot.
27:13Yeah.
27:13Very hot.
27:14Damn hot.
27:15Yeah, you're sounding a bit desperate now, fella.
27:17Meanwhile, the object of Paul's desire finishes off her starter.
27:21Hallou me salad.
27:22Bow-chicka-wow-wow.
27:23I love this salad.
27:25In fact, I have it probably for my tea quite a few times a week.
27:28I love it because it's so easy to put together.
27:31So I just thought I'll use this because I know what I'm doing.
27:33Nothing like playing it safe, Eve.
27:35It wasn't exciting, sadly.
27:38Basically, salad with grilled fish.
27:42It tasted like fish.
27:45For me, the texture was fish.
27:48I know it was cheese.
27:49What are you on about?
27:50Back at the table and Paul's dishing out compliments again.
27:54You, bang-tardy.
27:55You, fit.
27:59Fabulous.
28:00I don't know how to tell that.
28:02You're bang-tardy.
28:02I don't even know what bang-tardy means.
28:04I don't know why I'm saying it.
28:05I'm just checking.
28:06Compliment.
28:08I like compliments.
28:10You're down with the kids?
28:11Yeah, rude boy.
28:12What is the worst or best chatter plant you've ever had?
28:16Did it hurt?
28:17I beg your pardon.
28:18What did you say then?
28:18It hurt.
28:19When you fell from heaven.
28:21When you fell from heaven.
28:22Oh, no.
28:23I don't do cheese.
28:24Paul does.
28:25You must know lords.
28:26Trust me, I'm a DJ.
28:27Oh, no.
28:28That is probably the only chatter plant I've ever used that's a little bit cheesy, but it's
28:35also a little bit funny.
28:36Does it work?
28:37I doubt it.
28:38No.
28:38No.
28:41Trust me, I'm a DJ.
28:43No.
28:44He's still not winning a round.
28:47Sorry.
28:48As she cracks on with her mane.
28:51Oh, hot is it?
28:53And it's ready.
28:54Beef Wilberforce or Beef Wellington to the rest of us.
28:58I know there really are big portions.
29:00I will not be offended if you don't eat it.
29:01Trust me, because I know I won't be.
29:03I won't be eating it all.
29:04That is a fact.
29:06That's always the way when you've cooked your own food.
29:08Yeah, it is.
29:08When you've been cooking all day.
29:09You just can't eat it.
29:11What type of beef is it then?
29:12Is it like a piece of...
29:13I don't know.
29:14I said to the butcher that I was doing Beef Wellington Eats.
29:16I knew what to get.
29:17I'm not...
29:18So it's not like a rump of steak or anything like that?
29:21Honestly, I'm not going to lie to you.
29:23I don't know.
29:23I just said what I'm doing and he gave me the best, so...
29:26You're not exactly selling this.
29:27It was absolutely huge.
29:30And it scared me.
29:33It was...
29:34I had to put it to one side.
29:35I'm sorry.
29:36Something too big for Paul's mouth.
29:38Now, there's a first.
29:39At the table, Becky attempts a bit of cod...
29:41Sorry, amateur psychology.
29:43Would you say that you are quite free with your emotions?
29:46Yeah, I am.
29:47Far too free.
29:48I let people in.
29:52Too easy.
29:53It's quite fascinating because you look at the personalities here.
29:56The parts of Paul that I wish I had,
29:58because you come over with such confidence.
30:00I may come across that I've got confidence.
30:03Basically, I'm probably the most insecure person at this table.
30:06No, you're not.
30:07No, you're not.
30:08Hell yeah.
30:08Why?
30:09With a big capital insecure.
30:11No.
30:12For an example, why?
30:14I have a ying, and I have a yang, and I've got me in the middle.
30:19And I'm really self-conscious, not trying to be a...
30:22A complete yang-er.
30:25Too much... too domineering.
30:27Well, you may need to try harder.
30:29When someone is very passionate about something as much as you are just then...
30:33..you've got things you need to sort through.
30:35And that's not a bad thing.
30:36No, listen, I'm not saying it's a bad thing, because we've all been there.
30:39Believe me.
30:39All right, Oprah.
30:40I do believe I've got issues.
30:43Hmm.
30:44It takes a bit of balls to, like, you know, be honest with people.
30:47But what did annoy me was I saw Eve across the table rolling her eyes,
30:51and it really annoyed me a little bit.
30:52We're all here to have a really good night tonight, and I'm not a shrink,
30:56so I'm not here to give counselling sessions.
30:58Still doesn't like him.
30:59I think Paul's insecurities tonight came out at the perfect time for him,
31:05the night before his night, and he wants us all to feel sorry for him.
31:10Ooh, another tough nut to crack.
31:12Therapy session over, it's time for Eve's dessert,
31:14and she's added some much-needed sparkle to her menu.
31:17Voila!
31:18How fair on a plate.
31:20Do you remember when you used to, like, when you were younger
31:23and you used to suck jelly through your teeth?
31:25Mmm!
31:25Do I just do it?
31:26Go!
31:29I've got a lot of bits.
31:30No!
31:31First bits through me.
31:32Got bits!
31:35It's a kiss, babe!
31:39That's not a good look, is it?
31:40Let's face it.
31:41You suggested it!
31:43I enjoyed tonight's dessert.
31:45I didn't enjoy squeezing it through my teeth.
31:48Have you seen my teeth?
31:49No!
31:49All in all, I think it's a really, really good, successful evening.
31:53I've really enjoyed myself, and that's all that counts, really.
31:55Wrong!
31:56It's what your guests think!
31:57Tonight, I thought Eve's party was a really good dinner party,
32:00but the food for me was a bit of a letdown,
32:03and for that reason, and for that reason only, a seven.
32:06Eve, I think you're absolutely gorgeous.
32:08Sadly, your food let you down.
32:10So tonight, I give you a seven.
32:14I'm going to give it a six.
32:16So that gives Eve a less than impressive 20,
32:19putting her in joint last place with Mark.
32:29It's the final day, and Paul's turn to dazzle,
32:32but to be in with a chance of winning the £1,000 prize,
32:34he still needs to win round Mark and Eve.
32:37Paul said that he's got some insecurities.
32:40I don't know if I believe it or not.
32:42He might be playing a tactical game talking about insecurities.
32:46Tonight, I think we're going to see Paul back to how he was.
32:48Tonight, I am just going to be Paul Green.
32:52A.K.A. Greeny. Just me. Nobody else.
32:55Well, that's two people already.
32:58DJ Greeny launches into dessert, eating mess with popping candy.
33:03Why spoil a completely great dessert
33:05by putting a load of blooming candy all over it?
33:08Some's Paul up in one to me.
33:10What, flashing over the top?
33:12It's a four-horse race.
33:15It really is, I think.
33:17It wouldn't surprise me.
33:19I don't know if it's ever happened,
33:20but we all have the same points.
33:22Not going to happen, fella.
33:23Becky's the one you need to beat to back the £1,000 prize.
33:26As meringues go, they look bang-tardy.
33:29Whatever you say.
33:31After whisking cream...
33:32Give it some elbow juice.
33:33Or, in my case, electric juice.
33:35Paul crumbles in meringues and layers with strawberries
33:38before putting aside to chill.
33:39Dessert done, he moves on to his main Greeny's Gourmet Burger.
33:44I'm really happy. That's going to be great.
33:46I bet they'll be juicy burgers as well.
33:47Has it been and bought a 99 pack of... 99p pack of burgers
33:52and then he's going to stick a cheese slice on top of it?
33:55Ever heard of giving the benefit of the doubt?
33:58Paul's actually making them.
33:59He mixes meat, herbs, tomato puree and oil.
34:02Plenty of oil.
34:03You're not joking.
34:04I really love burgers.
34:07I like making my own stuff
34:08because I know all the ingredients.
34:10I can tuck into a burger knowing
34:12I'm not going to pull out a bit of hoof
34:14or somebody's nail or a plaster.
34:16You need to find a different takeaway.
34:18That's why I enjoy cooking my babies at home.
34:21Move over, Ronald McDonald.
34:23After shaping the burgers ready for frying later,
34:26he gets on with his starter.
34:28Homemade bruschetta with garlic butter and parmesan.
34:34That's pretty boring, isn't it?
34:37Can't bear garlic on bruschetta.
34:40It stays only for four days.
34:42Thanks for that.
34:43But Paul's determined to impress.
34:45Now he's making his own bread.
34:47The starter and the main,
34:49it's the bread for the bruschetta
34:50and it's the bread for the burgers.
34:52Pat bake in the oven.
34:53Warm up just before serving.
34:55Brilliant.
34:56Baps, done.
34:57So we'll just leave this to rise.
35:00He mixes the topping for his bruschetta,
35:02which he'll finish off after his guests arrive.
35:05I do think that he's going to bring a lot of fun
35:07to the table tonight.
35:08I think we're in for a bit of a treat.
35:10I am a little bit worried
35:12because I'm not quite sure what that treat's going to be.
35:14Go on, have a guess.
35:16Check one, check two.
35:18It's DJ Greeny just for you.
35:20We're dancing on the dance floor.
35:22Elevate.
35:24Best put on your dancing shoes.
35:27Time to nip upstairs and get me old disco pants on
35:29and let's get this party started.
35:33After a quick change into his gran's curtains,
35:36Bob on.
35:38Let's rock.
35:39His first guest's here.
35:40The one to beat, Becky.
35:43Hello.
35:45Yowza, yowza, yowza.
35:47I like this.
35:49Really?
35:49Come in.
35:51Next in, the man with an aversion to cheesy DJs, Mark.
35:55Flowers, thank you, darling.
35:56Good to see you.
35:58Really?
35:59At last in, the woman who doesn't like Paul much either.
36:01Eve.
36:02Hello.
36:02Hello.
36:03Hello.
36:04How are you?
36:05Very well.
36:05Come in.
36:06Put her down.
36:07I've got to say, the ladies are bang-tardy tonight.
36:11There is definitely an air of boobology in the air.
36:15Where do you study that?
36:16Paul, come on.
36:17Show us the belt tonight.
36:19Eve.
36:20Eve.
36:21Becky.
36:22Aww.
36:24And Ma.
36:25Aww.
36:26It's tonight's little gift.
36:28I've got you one of these.
36:29No way.
36:30No way.
36:30Really?
36:31Seriously?
36:32The fact that he put a message on his belt, and then he's given us all one.
36:36What a sweet, sweet guy.
36:38Is that a four, I hear?
36:39Might put my phone number in it and then give us all around.
36:41I'm just...
36:42I'm gonna put this way.
36:45Coming up.
36:46Hatchets are buried.
36:48You can do nothing but love this guy.
36:51Yeah.
36:52There's murder on the dance floor.
36:53I wouldn't have thought that I'd be in somebody's garden raving.
36:57And the results are revealed.
36:58The winner is...
37:08It's the final night, and Hull's answer to Pete Tong, DJ Paul Green, is hoping to win the
37:13£1,000 prize.
37:14Chin chin for the last night.
37:16But he still needs to impress two guests in particular if he's gonna grab the grand.
37:19It's getting out in here, so take off me jacket.
37:24Sunglasses, anyone?
37:26Having toasted his homemade bread, he covers it in garlic butter before garnishing.
37:30So hopefully, this is going to be...
37:35the business.
37:37Let's find out.
37:38Paul's first chance to impress bruschetta with garlic butter.
37:41Thank you very much.
37:43Cheers.
37:44Oh, lovely.
37:46Did you really make this handmade bruschetta, really?
37:49Did you make the bread?
37:50Everything tonight is handmade.
37:52Hand-kneaded...
37:53Really?
37:54A whole lot.
37:55Start from flour, yeast, in a bowl...
37:58Respect.
37:58...lukewarm water...
38:00You bad it?
38:01No, no, I like it.
38:02I like it.
38:02That's good.
38:03That's good.
38:03It is good.
38:04Except I can't eat garlic.
38:08Really?
38:09Unless it's cooked.
38:10What happened?
38:10I don't pull in a bar for the next four days.
38:13Oh, right.
38:13Yeah, that's right.
38:14Blame it on the garlic.
38:15OK, you've got your own business.
38:17You're a DJ every weekend.
38:19You also do the radio as and when.
38:21You've got a family.
38:23Why do you make your own bread?
38:24Honestly, I know I keep going on about it.
38:26How do you fit it in?
38:28Because making your own bread takes about 25 minutes.
38:31Is it?
38:32It didn't take long at all.
38:32Really?
38:33I thought it was all that kneading.
38:34You've got to put it in your airing cupboard.
38:35How therapeutic is all that kneading?
38:37It gets a lot of anger out.
38:38I know.
38:38I will try it.
38:39I promise.
38:39I will try it now.
38:40This is gorgeous.
38:41It is nice.
38:42Real nice.
38:43And if he did make that bread himself...
38:45He did.
38:45Well done.
38:46Well done, Paul.
38:47Because I thought it was lovely.
38:48I really did.
38:49I'm very impressed how Paul juggles so many things with work, family,
38:53and then he comes home and bakes bread.
38:55I honestly don't know how he does it.
38:56That guy must not ever sleep.
38:58Up to now, everything is going swimmingly.
39:00Especially in all that fat.
39:02After frying his chips, his main's ready.
39:04Gourmet burger and chips.
39:06And another attempt to butter up Eve.
39:08Got some chilli dipping sauce, if you want.
39:10Yeah, yeah.
39:11I didn't want to ask.
39:12No, no.
39:12Honestly, Eve, ask.
39:14If you want it, I'll facilitate.
39:16I'm a facilitator.
39:17Does that mean everything or just...?
39:19Everything.
39:20Don't get any ideas, Eve.
39:22Oh, hell yeah.
39:22I'm in.
39:23In your dreams, fella.
39:24Paul's been a really attentive host this evening.
39:27He does really think about the small details.
39:30Oh, she's coming round.
39:32As a host, lovely guy.
39:35I thought he was fab.
39:36Paul, this is 100% exactly what I said you'd do tonight.
39:38Beggar and chips.
39:39Beggar and chips.
39:40Food for the common people.
39:42That's no way to talk about your guests.
39:43If that was gourmet, no.
39:48Floppy, soggy, oily chips.
39:50Back at the table, Becky decides Paul's evening needs a game of looky likey.
39:55Can you look across between...
39:56Where's Wally?
40:00And Kelly Watts?
40:01No!
40:02You see her?
40:03Yeah.
40:04I can see the Kelly Watts thing, yeah.
40:05So, who do you think Becky looks like?
40:08Paul.
40:09She's definitely got the glamorousness of a Bond girl.
40:13I'm convinced you're two sisters and it's going to all come out later.
40:17You know what I reckon about you?
40:19Anthony Hopkins.
40:20Harold Bishop from Neighbours.
40:23Oh, it was all going so well!
40:25Yeah!
40:25I've had enough, thank you.
40:27No, no, I've had enough.
40:28Honestly, he's a really great guy.
40:30He didn't say a bouncer, that's a good thing, innit?
40:31Yeah, nothing.
40:32I'm not offending much.
40:37Devastated by the comments about lookalikes,
40:40I've always thought I looked like Jude Law.
40:42How they saw Harold Bishop, I have no idea.
40:46It's working for me!
40:49It was a complete compliment.
40:51I love the guy.
40:52Don't think he can sit in the same light.
40:55I can't think why.
40:57Get dessert out quick, eating mess and popping candy.
41:01Meringues, I made myself.
41:03Did you?
41:03These are done with not just caster sugar.
41:05Mm-hm.
41:06They're done with...
41:08I can't even pronounce it.
41:09Mascadonia.
41:10Mascadonia.
41:10No, Mascadonia.
41:12Oh, Madagascan.
41:14So much sugar.
41:15What?
41:16Mascadonia and sugar.
41:17I think you mean Mascavado.
41:19Yeah, it's not.
41:20It's...
41:21It's Madagascan.
41:22Madagascan.
41:23Madagascan's that Walt Disney filming it.
41:25Yeah, well, Ever's a good chef, so we all know this.
41:28Yeah, I can never pronounce it right.
41:29Let's leave it there, shall we?
41:31Especially as Becky's ready to have a special moment.
41:33When I first met you, I'd say in the probably first ten minutes,
41:37I really thought he was going to do my head in.
41:39I saw a whole different side to you last night.
41:41And I think you're a really, really nice guy.
41:43And I think you've got a heart of gold, actually.
41:45Pretty much the same to Becky.
41:47Maybe you've just chilled out as the week's gone on.
41:49As I walked through the door and met Paul, I thought, oh, hell.
41:54You said ten minutes, I thought ten seconds.
41:57But like you two, I've got to say, you can do nothing but love this guy.
42:02Yeah.
42:03Yeah.
42:04Cos he's absolutely...
42:08He talks and talks and talks but it just makes you want to love him.
42:11Yeah.
42:13Don't cry.
42:14Don't be crying.
42:19Can we just enjoy this moment?
42:22That's the first to speak to us.
42:24I don't think Paul's got a game plan at all.
42:26I think as the week's gone on, we've got to know Paul.
42:29And he's really grown on me.
42:31And I think he's a fantastic guy.
42:33He's going to be a good little mate.
42:35And I'd like to keep in touch with him.
42:37I think it just goes to show that first impressions necessarily don't count.
42:43Cos, Ian, he's alright. He's alright as Paul.
42:46To be honest, I thought I was going to cry.
42:48It was beautiful.
42:50And hopefully, Greeny's won him over.
42:52My first impressions of you, Becky, when I walked through the door was, hell yeah.
42:58As soon as I walked in, I was like, mmm, yummy mummy.
43:01Or, as to paraphrase it, milf.
43:03What's a milf?
43:06You can't.
43:07I can say that.
43:08I can say that.
43:12I've never heard that before.
43:14In the very, very nicest way.
43:17OK, I need to change what I've said now.
43:20No, I don't mean it.
43:22Just about got away with it.
43:24Time now for the final stage in Paul's bid for victory.
43:27If you'd like to follow me, this might give you a little bit of a clue.
43:32Time.
43:34Change.
43:35Party!
43:36Welcome to Greeny's Club.
43:38The drinks are on me and the dancing's free.
43:41Well, no-one's going to pay for dancing like that.
43:45Go on, Paul.
43:48I love it.
43:51Last night a DJ saved my life.
43:55That's me.
43:56Last night a DJ saved my life.
43:58Louder!
43:59Put your hands up in the air.
44:01Last night a DJ saved my life.
44:02Move around like you just don't care.
44:04All right!
44:08Absolutely hysterical.
44:09Made ourselves look so stupid, but I'm not bothered because we had a really good laugh.
44:14Two snuggers on the dance floor.
44:15Get a room, please.
44:17Jog on.
44:19I thought it was fantastic.
44:20I wouldn't have thought that I'd be in somebody's garden raving.
44:23Raving.
44:27Party rocks!
44:31Incredible.
44:33Absolutely fabulous.
44:35And Paul was the DJ that saved our lives tonight.
44:38Good on him.
44:40You can't teach that stuff.
44:44I think the club went down an absolute storm.
44:47DJ Greeny in the house.
44:48Whoop, whoop.
44:50Paul's DJing's a definite hit, but his guests have yet to mark his efforts.
44:54Tonight the food was quite average, but Paul was an absolutely amazing, fantastic host.
45:00And for that I'm giving him a seven.
45:02I thought his entertainment was fantastic.
45:05And his food was okay.
45:06So for that reason I'm going to give him a seven.
45:09That puts Paul on 14.
45:11To win he needs a perfect ten for a mark, or a nine to draw with Becky.
45:16So tonight I'm going to give Paul...
45:18Hold your horses!
45:20The scoring's in secret, and it's up to Paul to announce the results.
45:23Oh yes!
45:24Catch your line!
45:27Bob on!
45:32In second place...
45:35Paul, Eve and Marth.
45:38Which means the winner is...
45:41Rebecca!
45:46So it's a competition first.
45:49Three people in joint second place, with Mark having given Paul a six.
45:52Group hug!
45:55The results couldn't have been any better, really.
45:57To come second with them is just fantastic.
46:00Great result.
46:01Becky deserves it.
46:02She did a good night.
46:03We all enjoyed ourselves, so good on her.
46:06Ka-ching!
46:07Ka-ching!
46:07Ka-ching!
46:09I really thought that Paul was going to do it.
46:12Everyone's perceptions change of him through the week.
46:14I really thought he was going to put me to the post.
46:17That's cracking.
46:18It is.
46:18Because none of us came last.
46:19Yeah!
46:19I've taken more away from this week than money could buy.
46:23Kim second!
46:25Get in!
46:26Oh yeah!
46:29Excellent!
46:32Bob on!
46:36Last night a DJ saved my life
46:40Last night a DJ saved my life
46:43From a broken heart
46:44Last night a DJ saved my life
46:49Last night a DJ saved my life
46:52Last night a DJ saved my life
46:56Last night a DJ saved my life