- 1 hour ago
In their third installation of the 8th season of the successful, “If Not For My Girls” franchise, global pop powerhouses and multi-hyphenates, Ryan Destiny and Normani, sit down to discuss the beauty of sisterhood, and give a high-level masterclass on how to navigate “the entertainment machine” without losing your spirit.
Category
🎈
FunTranscript
00:15I love it y'all filling these seats up and it's just in time to cuz for y'all ready
00:21for your next
00:22segment good good good okay so this one is now in its third installment of season eight this next
00:33conversation is a celebration of sisterhood and I know about sisterhood you know with my
00:40girl Tashina Arnold yes give it up for my friend she ain't here but give it up anyway this is
00:49a
00:49masterclass on surviving the entertainment machine without losing your spirit I'm gonna turn it over
00:56y'all watch this clip I'm really excited to have my sister Ryan over today I know that sometimes it
01:06can be easy to kind of let time and just life pass by cheers you owe me a soda oh
01:12jinx you owe me a
01:13a soda well cheers too cheers I'm like oh my gosh you're like really adulting we're like we're big
01:22adults we're big adults not the little ones not the little ones no I'm glad that we get to have
01:27these in-depth conversations I don't know if you remember like when I was bullied mm-hmm on social
01:32media yes really it was crazy it's really just better to not listen to any of the noise and just
01:38focus on yourself and your own path I got a little index card game oh what do you love most
01:45about our
01:45friendship oh I know no matter what I'm faced with that I can count on you yeah cheers to more
01:53moments
01:54yes yes like this one all right guys hi everybody let's try this again hi everyone yeah yeah what's
02:12going on everybody my name is Cherie Nicole I'm the producer for if not for my girls it's essence in
02:18partnership with coca-cola season 8 featuring Ryan Destiny and Normani is that who you guys are here to
02:26see okay without further ado these two young ladies I've gotten to know them over the past few months
02:31they're incredible when you talk about artistry creativity they're all of that and so much more so
02:37without further ado I'll introduce you to Ryan Destiny and Normani give it up give it up give it up
02:44ladies where you at there they are that's all for y'all over there mm-hmm one more time for
02:52these
02:52lovely ladies and your microphones are sitting right there all right the shoe okay let's get off topic to
03:01start uh Normani we love your shoes thank you but it's been doing this little thing all day just the
03:08right foot just the right foot we all got one a little bit bigger than the other I guess but
03:13shout
03:13out to Normani everybody give it up for her she's been walking around with a half a shoe all day
03:17there we
03:19go there we go there we go so I'll start off nice and easy first of all it's so great
03:23to have you guys
03:23here we've been able again to get to know each other over the past several months what does it feel
03:28like to be amongst this family reunion here at the essence festival of culture it feels really really good I
03:35mean it always just literally feels like a reunion and I just love being here I love this time of
03:41the
03:41year and the essence is just like no other festival and no other time it's just really really special
03:47and thank you guys so much for coming out yeah for me this is such a full circle moment I'm
03:53actually
03:53originally from New Orleans mm-hmm uptown who's from Northland the crowd there we go yes yes um so it's
04:02beautiful
04:02that God gave me the opportunity to really just make my way back and for you know such a beautiful
04:07festival celebrating our community and black women I'm just honored to be here yeah so we talk about
04:13if not for my girls we're in season eight um you guys have been a joy to work with and
04:18one of the
04:19things that we want to impress upon everyone here is that this is all about sisterhood and real
04:23friendship and you guys are truly truly friends what does your sisterhood mean to both of you
04:31oh okay Ryan you want to take it I'll take it sisterhood honestly is everything and I honestly
04:37think that just in terms of relationships I think that sisterhood even sometimes goes beyond just like
04:44romantic you know um I think that just having women in our corner and in our circle knowing that we
04:50are able to confide in and also just as black women like our experience is so true to us
04:57and nobody else in the world I feel will be able to understand it or experience it the way that
05:02we
05:02have because you know they haven't walked a day in our shoes so I'm just I'm really grateful to just
05:07have such beautiful community even just the women in my life like my my mom my grandmother my best
05:12friend my cousins women in the industry and this goes beyond industry just so y'all know too yeah um
05:19so I'm
05:19just yeah I'm grateful yeah what about you Ryan I mean same I think that you know it's really really
05:27crazy out here and scary a lot of the times you know and it's just so up and down I
05:34think with the
05:36industry in general so to have that support and the people that you know that can you know see eye
05:43to eye
05:44with you and understand exactly what you're going through like she said is just really important and
05:48it's been a just comforting thing to know to know that you can count on that you know and we
05:56have
05:57that with each other and we always are somehow going through a lot of the same things at the same
06:03time
06:04and but it's it's really really beautiful especially you know just to be able to have that
06:10that open ear and be able to just listen to each other yeah it's great before my next question I
06:17want
06:17to take a roll call because again if not for my girls it's all about sisterhood connection
06:21if you're here with your bestie your bff raise your hand for me I gotta say okay hey y'all
06:28one of the things that you guys make have made sure that we understand is that this goes beyond the
06:33industry this goes beyond tiktok your friendship goes beyond facebook when we think about your life
06:38as celebrities I'm sure trusting you know people sometimes can be a difficult thing how do you guys
06:43ensure that when you enter into relationships whether they're platonic or romantic that trust
06:49is at the core like how do you know you can trust someone I mean I think it's willing to
06:57be vulnerable
06:58and open with each other you know I guess in the beginning of just any relationship you really never
07:05know and so you just have to put yourself out there trust yourself enough to know that you know
07:11you'll be able to have an intuition about a person and know their heart and I think that's you know
07:17what made us get along so well when we initially met I think it was just a genuine like personality
07:26that we both had and gravitated towards I always used to say that she just reminded me of someone that
07:32I went to school with you know in like grade school where you just are sitting next to your girl
07:37you know and y'all just like want to sit next to each other every day and then it just
07:41keeps on
07:41just getting closer and closer that's what I for sure reminded me of so yeah I think it's just you
07:47know taking it step by step and not trying to force anything either you know just letting things happen
07:54I think is the best way to form anything and form that trust so yeah yeah I think also just
08:00you know
08:01in the evidence and in inconsistency like Brian said like this goes beyond industry like we've we spent
08:08holidays we've spent birthdays so it's like the proof is in the pudding but also just I'm really big
08:15with my relationship with God so like him giving me the discernment to know who to be able to trust
08:20myself with and who not to which obviously in the beginning like you said you never know but trusting
08:26yourself enough and trusting your judgment enough to be able to um really just assess accordingly so
08:33you guys talk about the time spent I have to ask sheer curiosity I watched the tiktok challenges
08:40on social media who learns the dances faster it was making who learns the dances faster
08:46making one too oh we did the yeah yeah yeah that was during uh the pandemic we did we did
08:53oh my gosh
08:54okay so many tiktoks during covid yeah I mean honestly I feel like it just depends I know with
09:01the last one that we did we ended up not even realizing we already knew it like both of us
09:07oh yeah
09:07yeah that one yeah so you call each other who calls who and says okay I'm coming over to the
09:13crib
09:14we're doing a tiktok challenge tonight how does it happen it always just happens organically I don't
09:19think it's like pre-mega ticket we just want to like hang out and then we're like should we do
09:24this
09:24yeah and then it just happens yeah amazing I want to talk about self-love a little bit I want
09:30to give
09:30you guys some perspective because I think sometimes people forget that celebrities are human beings
09:35both of them are working off minimal sleep right now they've been working constantly the last
09:39several days and yet they're here still looking amazing and with incredible attitudes you look
09:44beautiful as well thank you yes I do want to ask you guys about the importance of self-care
09:51because yes you have to work you have to show up right but at the same time you have to
09:56replenish
09:57and give back to yourself so when you're in environments like festival essence festival of culture
10:01where there's a constant work there's constant requirements how do you find time to just take a
10:05breather and reset and refresh and get back to what you need to do honestly for me it's all about
10:11just
10:11being intentional and really carving out that space and time for self to just you know stop yeah and
10:17really just be present um I was with my manager backstage before my performance and we just did like
10:22a breathing exercise just to center myself and really just ground myself um but also just like
10:28community yeah and making sure that I feel safe in whatever environment or whatever the circumstances
10:33end up being um which I'm really grateful for and then I think as important as it is to show
10:39up
10:39and really plug in it's important to also unplug yeah and take care of yourself even outside of
10:45you know our industry I love going to the movies that brings me to like on Tuesdays when it's five
10:51dollars off oh you're going okay yeah I need to be better about that yeah why not I'm all about
10:56saving money you say it's how much every Tuesday five dollars five dollars okay it's true yes no for
11:02real it's true I'm like especially in this climate okay don't get me started that is not what this is
11:08about Normani I'll get on my soapbox I'll get on my soapbox but I love it what about you Ryan
11:13um I think
11:14for me just I mean just the basics I really had to listen to my body during this trip and
11:21during any
11:21trip it's just really really important to do that and then prioritizing things you know I think
11:28something like Essence I love and have so many people out here that are working and that I love
11:36and they be wanting to hang out or do stuff and I'm like I have to make sure that I
11:41don't
11:42overextend myself yes um because we are doing a lot for this weekend and I really have to
11:48prioritize sleep so yeah there's some things where I'm like you know what I love you so much but I'm
11:55going to bed so I think yeah things like that you just have to prioritize things to make sure you
12:02are
12:02getting enough of what you need you know absolutely transparently I struggle a little bit with the word
12:08no anybody else out there struggle with the word no raise your hand for me a little bit yeah some
12:13of
12:13y'all are not being honest I only see 10 hands we're speaking to the 10 of you that raised
12:17your
12:18hands hey mom in the front we got you in the front
12:25so speaking of that I mean in in this industry you do get a lot of no's you get yeses
12:30as well
12:30but how do you guys move through the no's how do you move through some what some would perceive as
12:35rejection and understand that sometimes it is protection for your next step oh I mean I am
12:42still working through that transparently it does get really really really tough especially you know
12:49on just any size but I know with acting in particular you audition for stuff constantly and so no's are
12:57like
12:57normal honestly and so it's just it gets to you honestly you know even if you are working through
13:04things and making sure you know your mental is right and praying it still gets hard so I think
13:10it's you know having that space for yourself to feel and have that space to be okay with being
13:19disappointed but making sure you give yourself like a time frame because you got to get right back to it
13:25you know and I think that that's just being honest with yourself so I think that's the way I kind
13:31of go
13:31through it and when you do finally get to that other side of looking at it and you're like oh
13:36this
13:36was for a reason that's the best part of the process when you're finally over that and you know
13:42exactly why that didn't happen um so I think that you know it's just a process and you have to
13:48just be
13:49open to the process yeah for sure yeah what about you Normani honestly I would just piggyback off of what
13:55Ryan said I think that for me it just comes down to trusting that God knows all you know he
14:00is
14:00omnipresent he is in the past he's in the present he's in the future and so really just allowing
14:06um him to reveal certain things that maybe might be hard to accept in the moment but I have a
14:12story
14:12to share like come on story so I actually auditioned for um this performing and visual arts school in
14:19Houston Texas I auditioned for a musical theater and for dance and I didn't get in for either
14:25but you didn't get in for dance I didn't I didn't get in for dance or musical theater wow okay
14:30and I
14:31ended up auditioning for x factor that same year and I ended up making it and being a part of
14:39one of
14:39the biggest girl groups in history so it's just like you said I feel like everything might not make
14:45sense in the moment but just trusting that God has everything already worked out yeah yeah yeah
14:50in addition to trusting God it's important to obviously trust in ourselves and we know that
14:54self-care is a form of self-love as well so to each of you in an industry where there's
14:59a lot of people
15:00who are gifted and talented what do you feel you bring to the table in this industry that makes you
15:05unique and special that is and don't look let me tell you something run the receipts run the receipts
15:16whoa that's always so hard to to answer that is about yourself yeah and I feel like we both struggle
15:22with like so okay let's switch it up what does she offer that you did and what do you offer
15:27there you
15:28go let's switch it up because my question is getting answered today
15:34darn um I mean what isn't special about her I don't know there's so much I I feel like it's
15:45very
15:45obvious what you bring to the table and so it's hard to like pinpoint one thing but um I think
15:55it's a
15:55very clear dedication that you have that is very very rare especially for us women who obviously get
16:06the short end of the stick a lot of the time yeah um and it's hard to get back up
16:12and it's hard to be
16:13resilient it's it really is over years of being in this it can tear you down really easily and I
16:20think
16:20that what separates anyone great from anyone else is that ability to continue to get back up and that's
16:28exactly what you do and I think that is a very obvious thing that shows in any of the work
16:34that
16:34you do so yeah I think that's a lot that's clear thank you and I would I would also say
16:41for you your
16:42resilience as well you know in spite of how many knows that both of us I'm sure have gotten like
16:47you
16:47continue to show up for everybody around you but also for yourself with such beauty and grace and
16:55resilience and elegance and beauty and you you continue to inspire me more than you know I know
17:01that you know we don't always tell each other but I really do I appreciate you and I'm going to
17:06cry
17:07last time it was me no no you put that in the uh the video I I did put it
17:13in the video when you
17:14cried a little bit yeah it was just like a little tear that came down on the left I don't
17:17know what
17:17it is like the older I've gotten the more emotional I get I love it anybody else is getting more
17:23emotional as they age anybody always crying we got somebody over here to my to my left hey girl hey
17:30we got to wrap up in a little bit but I do want to offer our amazing audience just a
17:34little bit of an
17:35opportunity to get some advice and so if you don't mind each of you for the young lady or even
17:40gentlemen who's out here who may have whatever dreams they are maybe they want to be in the
17:44entertainment industry maybe they want to get into education maybe they're trying to cross the finish
17:49line and just get that diploma whatever it is what would you say to people who are in between a
17:53dream
17:54right now who really desire to get to the other side I would say honestly be willing to bet on
18:01yourself
18:02you know in spite of what people project or their perception of of you and what you bring
18:08I feel like you always have to know your why I mean even for me in the music industry I'm
18:14sure as
18:14you guys can imagine it's not always easy and at times it can be very difficult um and you know
18:20the
18:20politics and and everything kind of jade the process but I always have to go back to my why
18:26you know and show up and remind myself that that little girl would be proud of of all that I've
18:32accomplished and the woman that I have become but also just aligning yourself with people that
18:37understand your vision the way that you do yeah if it's too exhausting trying to trying to get
18:42people to understand or believe then that's just that's not it I would definitely say it comes down
18:48to alignment amazing alignment what about you Ryan um I think I would say to get really comfortable
18:55with the path in your journey rather than the destination I think hyper focusing on the destination
19:04makes everything about what you're doing even more difficult on yourself you know and I think
19:13we have to make sure we're enjoying it because we're gonna look back and we're not gonna remember
19:19anything and we're not you know gonna really be living in the present moment and appreciating what
19:25you have accomplished so I think that's one big thing that even I have to continuously tell myself is
19:33make sure I'm focusing on my path and regardless of accomplishing this thing or the next thing um I
19:41have to just really enjoy it you know because there's always gonna be something and once you
19:46accomplish one thing you're gonna want to accomplish more yeah so instead of like chasing and doing this
19:51rat race just hyper focus you know on just one step in front of you you know so I think
19:57that's that's
19:58one thing I would say I would also say not comparing your journey to anybody else's I liked what you
20:03said about your journey being your journey what's for them is for them and what's for you is for you
20:08yeah and you know the the journey to the destination may look different but that doesn't necessarily mean
20:13that one is right or wrong yeah I want to close out to give you guys an opportunity to talk
20:18about a big
20:19moment that you guys are going to get to have here at the essence festival of culture presented by
20:24coca-cola you're doing something really fun tomorrow and I love the connection between you all your art
20:30your generation and Aaliyah and I just want you guys to share without giving too much away what can
20:35people expect from you all tomorrow I mean tomorrow's gonna be such a beautiful tribute um the fact that
20:43we were both even considered Missy Elliot herself actually reached out and she said initially when
20:49she thought about you know the artist that she would want to bring on in order to to be a
20:55part of
20:55this beautiful tribute she said she thought about you know women that would exude Aaliyah's grace and
21:01poise and just elegance and swag and style and so those words coming from her personally from someone
21:08that actually knew her intimately um just me in the absolute world and she's influenced honestly so
21:14much of of what I create wild side yeah clear example um and just style like I said and and
21:22personality and music so yeah I'm really excited big big shoes you know to fill and we want to do
21:30it
21:30right so we've been we've been working really really hard yeah that's why we running off for nothing but
21:36it'll be so worth it tomorrow absolutely anything you want to add to that Ryan um Ryan said she was
21:41a little scared but I think she was just talking she told me she was scared we all might be
21:45a little
21:45bit yeah no I just think you know we trust Missy with literally our lives so the show that she's
21:52going to put on is going to be incredible and yeah we're excited for everyone to see we're excited
21:58to see how many Aaliyah fans do I have out here
22:02so I'm I'm assuming I will see all of you all tomorrow correct okay I thank you ma'am
22:08we only just we just got one I'm just one more who am I gonna see tomorrow okay
22:13yeah there we go there we go I want to close this thing out is your shoe okay
22:20ah see you spoke it up okay let's fix this shoe yes I want us to stand up and I
22:26want you guys to
22:27stand with me and I'll explain why everybody stand up you guys included okay grab your coca-colas if
22:32you don't mind everybody stand for me we got to get a little exercise anyway it's all good
22:38you don't even need your microphones oh oh all right guys so I feel like when we talk about
22:45sisterhood we talk about respect it's important that we celebrate each other and so everybody's
22:53standing here and me too I celebrate you both I love you I adore you it's been an honor to
22:59work on
22:59this campaign with you you guys are an example of what it means to be powerful to be beautiful to
23:05be
23:05smart to be talented to be versatile to be patient to be persistent so for me it's a refresh just
23:13to stand
23:13here with you I'm grateful for the connection and here's a cheers to season eight of if not for
23:18my girls give it up for Ryan Destiny and Normani thank you guys so much thank you very much
23:26sip it up
23:27what are you
Comments