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Old 2010 Bigal2k6 Video from Blip.tv
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01:00I made the slingshot for Usopp.
01:03I just got done making this five-ton hammer for my costume.
01:10Oh, and while I'm on the subject, by the way, Vicky, if you're watching this, your staff for your Son
01:16Goku Sayuki cosplay is complete.
01:19So, not to mention, my iPod is full of songs from One Piece.
01:28And, I mean, back in the past, I did a whole umpteenth part series defending the Japanese version over the
01:384Kids version.
01:38Um, but we are going to do something a little bit different today.
01:46This video isn't about my love for One Piece.
01:49Oh, no.
01:50This video is about stuff I hate about One Piece.
01:53Big shocker, I know.
01:55So, let the fun begin.
02:01My first major complaint, and this is actually more of a personal thing.
02:06Sorry, my eye itches.
02:09I have pink eye.
02:16Now, One Piece is a show that has a lot of dramatic moments.
02:19Um, it's something bad, uh, dramatic happening, or somebody sad for some reason.
02:26And, uh, there are times when pretty much everybody in the whole fucking neighborhood is crying on that show.
02:30This is no offense intended to, um, Ichiro Oda, the creator of One Piece, but I have noticed that every
02:38time there is a dramatic scene, it's ruined by someone whose mouth is so low down to the ground that
02:46you can see what they ate for lunch that afternoon.
02:48I don't know, that just bothers the shit out of me.
02:52I guess it's his art style, but when you're trying to make a dramatic scene, it's really...
02:56When you're trying to make something dramatic, it's really not a good idea to make characters look that comical, you
03:04know what I mean?
03:05Uh, not, not, either their mouths are so low to the ground when they're crying, or there's just boogers and
03:12snot and all kinds of other shit coming out of their face when they're crying.
03:16It's a, it looks retarded.
03:20There you go, it looks retarded.
03:21I'm sorry, but, uh, I, uh, the...
03:26The best example I can give is, again, Belmere's death.
03:30I believe it's one of the most dramatic moments, and traumatic moments of One Piece, so I often use that
03:35as a good example.
03:37Um, when she is about to die, by Arlong, by getting shot in the face, um...
03:45Oh, I'm sorry, the, the heart.
03:46It's, it's the head in the manga, the heart in the anime.
03:50When she is, okay, when she is about to get shot, Nami and Nojiko, their faces, like, they're, they're crying
04:00down here, and there's snot coming everywhere, and it doesn't look great.
04:04Now, granted, at that time, they're just little kids, so I guess, I guess I can let, let that one
04:09slide.
04:09But even, even in, um, even when something current has happened, not even in, not just in flashbacks, but even
04:17when something is happening right now in that series, the characters, there's just snot and everything coming out.
04:23Like, um, during, um, I think it was Impel Down, I can't remember the name of the arc, but it,
04:30it was either Impel Down, or C9, I can't remember, but Luffy is screaming to Niko Robin, tell me you
04:38want to live, tell me you want to live, and Niko Robin goes, I wanna live!
04:43Yeah, but there's tears and snot and everything coming down, it just doesn't look good.
04:50But I think a better example of this little pet peeve of mine, with dramatic scenes getting ruined by the
04:57characters' facial expressions,
05:00I think, really, there's no better example, uh, besides the Belmere thing, than, uh, one of the recent volumes of
05:07the manga,
05:07where, um, Ace, Luffy's brother, or supposed brother, he dies.
05:14Yes, somebody actually dies in One Piece.
05:19Um, he gets shot in the stomach, it's, it, it, basically his insides are being eaten by magma, and he
05:25just slowly dies.
05:26And, um, Ace's final words are something along the lines of,
05:30My only regret, Luffy, is I won't live to see your dream fulfilled.
05:34And then he, he, and he collapses over and dies.
05:37And the next panel just kinda pissed me off, cause this is like, one of the, this is one of
05:42the saddest moments in manga history,
05:44and the only thing that Luffy can do is...
05:51That's what it looks like, I'm sorry!
05:53Here, I'll even show you a picture of it!
05:55Does it, or does it not look like he's choking on a chicken bone right now?
05:59It just, eh...
06:00Again, no disrespect intended to Oda, but it just doesn't look right.
06:03When there's a dramatic scene, and, uh, the characters during that scene look like they're choking on a chicken bone.
06:09Or, their mouths are down to here, or they're, they're crying so much that there's all kinds of shit coming
06:16out of their mouth and face.
06:17It just doesn't look right.
06:19And speaking of crying, um, does everybody have to cry?
06:23I, I, this is another thing that I noticed.
06:26Everybody cries for some reason on that show.
06:29Um, one, one piece.
06:34Everybody's a fucking crybaby.
06:38Yes, I'm drinking two things at the same time.
06:40Thank you for noticing.
06:42But, uh, another thing that I have noticed with one piece.
06:46It's a, it's a common reoccurring theme.
06:49You'll have the good guy facing off against the bad guy, or a few bad guys.
06:54The good guy gets his ass kicked.
06:58Then, the good guy comes back and says this tear-jerking, thought-provoking speech about friendship, or following your dreams,
07:06or some shit.
07:07And then he somehow gets enough strength to beat the bad guy's ass in the end.
07:12Um, one piece isn't the only one that does this.
07:15It's just something that I noticed the most with, uh, one piece.
07:19Um, I think even, uh, Ultimate Muscle and Kuniku Man and all, and all those other shows have, uh, done
07:24it.
07:25I mean, after all, they are mostly all Shonen Jump.
07:28But, um, it does get old.
07:31It does get old sometimes.
07:33And I think, um, the best example of this is, uh, when Usopp and Chopper are fighting, uh, Miss Merry
07:40Christmas and, uh, Mr. Four.
07:44And she was called Miss Groundhog's Day in the dub, even though she was a fucking mole.
07:48And it doesn't make any sense, but that's besides the point.
07:51Uh, so, uh, long story short, Usopp gets his ass kicked.
07:56I mean, he gets his face pretty much caved in by the four-ton bat.
08:01He gets his nose broken.
08:03Which, by the way, if, if your nose is about as big as a, is about as big as a
08:08standard ruler, it's gonna get broken a lot.
08:11But, uh, he gets his nose broken.
08:13He gets his face caved in.
08:14And he, he gets hurled into the sky.
08:17And he falls flat on his face.
08:19Then Chopper's about to get his ass kicked.
08:21But Usopp somehow manages to get enough strength to stand up.
08:25I mean, just, just him standing up from that type of blow just shows you, you know, that all these
08:32characters can somehow pull out, pull amazing strength out of their ass.
08:37But, but then again, Usopp, from what I understand, has a very, very, very high tolerance to pain.
08:43So, you, you could probably rip his legs off and he probably wouldn't even notice, but, eh.
08:48Uh, he gets, he gets enough strength to get up.
08:52And he talks about how, every, everybody's got a dream.
08:57And you guys are assholes for making fun of Luffy's dream.
09:00And, eh, so anyway, they, they, they try to home run thing again, but then Usopp, uh, how did it
09:06go?
09:07Like, Usopp, uh, he, uh, he dodges it.
09:14And he and, uh, he and, uh, Chopper team up to do the whole Usopp slingshot hammer thing.
09:22I can't remember the name of it.
09:23But, so, even though Usopp and Chopper got their asses kicked six ways from Sunday, they managed to pull through
09:32and win the fight.
09:34Now, this is sometimes called the Hulk Hogan effect.
09:38But, and it happens quite a lot in animes.
09:41Not just One Piece, but it is, it does get a little annoying after a while.
09:45So, and finally, this is, um, this has to do with the main character, Monkey D. Luffy.
09:51Now, don't get me wrong.
09:52I love Luffy.
09:52I think he's a great character.
09:54I think he's funny as hell.
09:55And I think he's a tax-kick ass.
09:57I mean, who wouldn't want rubber, stretchy limbs?
09:59But, um, for more reasons than fighting, of course.
10:03But, but this is something that I notice with Luffy.
10:08Now, Luffy is often portrayed as, well, to put it bluntly, fucking retarded.
10:14But, but, but there are some times when, for some reason, he'll wise up and have this seemingly pre-rehearsed
10:26speech about friendship and following your dreams when he's getting his ass kicked by the bad guy.
10:32It just doesn't really mix well.
10:34I mean, now, granted, he is supposed to be inspired by Goku from Dragon Ball, but not even Goku is
10:43this retarded.
10:44I mean, Goku's retarded, but he's not pants-on-head retarded.
10:47You see what I'm saying?
10:48And it's weird because he'll often talk about how important friendship is to him, yet oftentimes he'll do things that
10:55almost kill his entire crew.
10:57So, like, for example, this is during one of the, one, this is during one of the, oh, what is
11:06it, the movies.
11:07It, it, I can't, it was like Django's Dance Hour or something, but they were basically on Dance Dance Revolution
11:14Island and it had a giant disco ball.
11:17Now, there were marines.
11:18They were chasing after Django, but they didn't know that the Straw Hats were there, too.
11:21And there's this marine, he's looking at the wanted poster.
11:24Luffy's just standing there like a fucking idiot.
11:27One of the marines, he's looking at the wanted poster, he looks at Luffy, looks at the wanted poster.
11:32Luffy's just standing there while the rest of his crew hightailed it out of there before they got caught.
11:38And then Luffy's just standing there like an idiot.
11:42And the marines are like, hey, it's the Straw Hats, get them.
11:47Um, and even still, Luffy's like, but then, you know, finally he snaps out of it and runs away.
11:55I, I had the feeling that if you gave Luffy, Luffy, if you gave Luffy, coming soon, One Piece, the
12:05porno, featuring Monkey D. Lube.
12:07But, I, I have a feeling that if you gave Luffy a paper bag, he'd be entertained for hours.
12:13But, um, it's just something I noticed.
12:18Like, when he's getting his ass kicked, he becomes smart.
12:23I, I don't know how the hell that works.
12:25I mean, he, he has these plans.
12:30And, like, when he's in a fight, he, like, comes up with all these outlandish ways to beat his opponents.
12:36And, and, and he'll have a monologue about how important friendship is.
12:41And then, it, it, it's as if, when he's getting his ass kicked, suddenly he gets smart.
12:47But when he's just doing normal things, like eating or, or what, or tending to the ship, he becomes pants
12:56on head retarded.
12:57Now, like I said, there, there are a lot of characters in anime, especially in Shonen Jump anime, that at
13:08first they're pants on head, at first they're retarded, but in an actual fight they get serious.
13:13You know, uh, Kid Muscle, Kid Ikuman, Goku, just to name a few.
13:18But, for some reason, Luffy is the exception to that rule.
13:22Now, Kid Muscle and Goku and them, they may be retarded at times, but they never, as far as I
13:29can tell, they never did something that would jeopardize their entire group of friends.
13:34You know, ultimately killing them.
13:37Luffy, for some reason, he's just retarded.
13:42And that's just a little, that's just one of my biggest problems with One Piece, the main character, uh, Luffy.
13:49Because it just doesn't, it just doesn't make sense.
13:52It doesn't balance right for someone who is that retarded, but then all of a sudden gets that smart.
13:58And that devoted to their friendship, even though they've, even though that one character constantly jeopardizes the lives of their
14:08friends by doing incredibly stupid-ass, retarded shit.
14:13Now, those are just some of the things that I despise about One Piece.
14:16That being said, I still consider it to be a very entertaining show, and it is, uh, still one of
14:22my favorite shows to watch.
14:23That, it has plenty of funny moments, that despite all the stuff that I said about One Piece right now,
14:29it does have funny moments.
14:31It has dramatic moments that are awkward, because, or the snot bubbles and everything.
14:38And I, I, I think it has a very cool, diverse collection of characters.
14:46Um, and I would still recommend it to people who like action and adventure.
14:50And, it, it's basically the modern-day Dragon Ball.
14:54Because, you know, it, it's full of action and adventure and drama, but it's still a very fun show to
15:00watch.
15:00This has been Big Al 2K6.
15:02I hope you enjoyed this shit little, uh, I hope you enjoyed this little show I had.
15:07Take it easy.
15:08Big Al.
15:08Over and out.
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