Woke M&Ms Rant

Meteo Archon

This is my favourite thing from "The Gorilla of Yorkshire", who tears into...  Any Activist Horseshit Indicated.  And ideological garbage is pointless when it's insincere and by assholes with agendas. Oy Vey.  Laugh and Learn, Boobies.

Transcript

00:00hi everyone it's as here from heel versus babyface and believe it or not

00:08we're going to talk about chocolate in this video

00:13looks like you've had your fair share of chocolate as

00:17shut up

00:18sorry sorry my bad

00:26yes i have

00:28way too much

00:31but it's not just about chocolate and how tasty it is and how naughty it is no this is about

00:40politicizing

00:41chocolate

00:43and what happens when you politicize something so

00:50stupid

00:53eminem's candy mascots put on indefinite pause

01:02amid tucker carlson's attack

01:07on their alleged sexuality and weight

01:11we're talking about chocolate

01:13i hate

01:24i hate the west

01:26everything's got to be political including the goddamn color of your chocolate and what it does

01:37my chocolates are gay

01:40no it's not it's a fucking chocolate

01:45it doesn't have sexual relations with other chocolates

01:57it doesn't want to lob parts of its body off and identify something else

02:04it doesn't want to

02:08fit in more

02:09or show off its anxiety

02:12it's a fucking

02:13chocolate

02:15i just needed to get that out of my system

02:26and i think three quarters of my heart has just exploded

02:30oh boy

02:33what's this going on about

02:36let's read this

02:39this is look this is the eminem's account

02:43with its piss yellow stick mark

02:47because it's a corporation

02:49oh my god

02:54a message from eminem num nums

02:59america

03:01let's talk

03:05in the last year we've made some changes

03:09to our beloved spokes candies

03:13do you know what one of the changes was

03:17this this green

03:18this green female

03:21eminem

03:24had her high heels taken away from her

03:28and was put in trainers

03:30why why did she have

03:33her high heels taken away from her

03:35fuck nose

03:36oh my god we wanted to be more inclusive

03:42we felt that if we take away the high heels

03:44that people are identified as

03:46what if we feel more comfortable

03:48it's a fucking chocolate

03:49i will come to america

03:54to slap you all

03:56and backhand

04:03and backhand

04:03holy

04:08fuck

04:11we weren't sure if anyone would even notice

04:17you completely changed an aspect

04:19a visual aspect of the character

04:22of course people are gonna notice

04:25they're not as fucking stupid as you

04:28well if we just stick a big fucking 12 inch penis

04:34on this red one

04:35i'm gonna stick a vagina on the foot

04:39i wonder if people will notice

04:40because i'll fucking notice

04:41oh jesus

04:45wept

04:45and we definitely didn't think that it would break the internet

04:53it didn't break the internet

04:54people were like

04:56what the fuck are you doing

04:57it's chocolate

04:58why are you trying to politicize chocolate

05:03shut the fuck up

05:06and just sell your fucking diabetes

05:09twinkle thingies

05:11but now we get it

05:19even a candy shoe can be polarizing

05:22no

05:23you made it polarizing

05:25because you tried to fucking politicize it

05:28because

05:30you're stupid

05:32which was the last thing that m&m's wanted

05:39since they're all about

05:40bringing people together

05:42you're not

05:42you're about

05:43fucking

05:44obesity and diabetes

05:46that's what you're about

05:49that's what you peddle

05:50that's what you peddle

05:53now some people

05:54not me

05:55clearly

05:56fuck bastard

05:57some people

05:58can eat that shit in moderation

06:00others

06:01can't

06:02look at me

06:03that's what you're about

06:06you're not changing the fucking world

06:09you're not changing the fucking world

06:09you're selling chocolate

06:13so for the love of god

06:16shut the fuck up

06:19and just put your fucking diabetes coins

06:23on the shelf

06:24and back the fuck world

06:28therefore we've decided to take an indefinite pause

06:35from the spokescandies

06:37we are so entrenched

06:40in ideology

06:42that we're now blaming it on the fucking CGI candy

06:47no

06:50what you do

06:51is you say

06:52who came up with the idea

06:53to make

06:54let's actually

06:55let's listen to Tucker Carlson for 15 seconds

06:58I don't care if you like the guy

07:00or don't like the guy

07:01it's got nothing to do with this

07:03I'm taking one article from Fox

07:06and another from Forbes

07:08so I think that kind of tells you

07:09we're balancing things out as best we can here

07:12but let's just have a look before I carry on

07:15woke M&M's have returned

07:16the green M&M got her boots back

07:19but apparently

07:19she got her boots back

07:21no they took her

07:22they took him away from her again

07:24they put her back into a

07:27I'm a lesbian

07:28trainers

07:29what do you mean she's like

07:32look

07:32apparently is now a lesbian maybe

07:34she's now in a gay relationship maybe

07:37because that's what

07:39fucking chocolate does

07:41oh and chocolate

07:45I want to be

07:47I want to be popped in somebody's mouth and eaten

07:49I'm sugary goodness

07:50what should I do today

07:51I know

07:52I'll be fucking gay

07:54so what you want to do

08:01actually let's just finish off

08:03Tucker

08:04not in that kind of way

08:05it's not how I'll

08:06carry on

08:07and there's also a

08:08plus sized obese purple M&M

08:11so we're going to cover that

08:12of course

08:12because that's what we do

08:14well

08:15yeah because that's what we do

08:16that's what we do

08:17that's what we do

08:19we have to talk

08:20about the politicization

08:22of fucking chocolate

08:24so what you do M&M's

08:27is you don't retire

08:28you CGI nothings

08:31what you do is

08:32you go into your marketing office

08:34and you go

08:34hey

08:35who came up with the idea

08:36for gay and fat chocolate

08:38you did

08:39awesome

08:40you're fired

08:42fired

08:43get the fuck

08:44out

08:46it's not a hard thing to do

08:51and I'm blowing my voice

08:53over

08:54stupid politicized chocolate

08:57that's what you do

09:00you go

09:00you

09:01you and you

09:02all you absolute

09:03fucking window lickers

09:05fuckity bye

09:07oh my god

09:14in their place

09:18we're proud to introduce

09:19a spokesperson

09:20America can agree on

09:23have you read your

09:25comment section

09:26the beloved

09:28Maya Rudolph

09:30no idea who she is

09:32we are confident

09:34Ms. Rudolph

09:35will champion

09:37the power of fun

09:38to create a world

09:41where everyone feels

09:42they belong

09:43oh shut your

09:44goddamn mouth

09:46apparently

09:49um

09:49Maya Rudolph's like

09:52a 50 year old woman

09:53you know

09:56nothing says

09:56uh

09:57nothing says

10:00modern and hip

10:01like a 50 year old

10:03I can fucking

10:04attest to that

10:04and of course

10:07in the chat

10:08we'll have double down

10:09we'll have double down

10:11oh my god

10:13Eminem's a racist

10:14and sexist

10:15Mayor Rudolph

10:16is black

10:17I don't know

10:17what the

10:18I don't know

10:18what's going on here

10:19everyone's just arguing

10:21over fucking chocolate

10:23that's her by the way

10:24oh

10:26what do you mean

10:29you get what

10:29they're saying

10:30they politicized

10:33chocolate

10:33people got

10:35pissed off

10:36because they

10:36politicized

10:37chocolate

10:39and now they're

10:42blaming anyone

10:43but the

10:43fucking idiots

10:44that did it

10:45in the first place

10:46they're blaming

10:47the cartoon

10:48characters

10:49sorry

10:51you got too

10:52political

10:52greener man

10:53we're gonna put you

10:54on the back burner

10:55it's on her

10:56fucking fault

10:57she's not even a she

10:58she's a fucking

10:59chocolate

11:00stop

11:06political

11:08companies

11:08fuck off with your

11:10politics

11:11yeah

11:11because

11:12hey you're too

11:13stupid

11:14to even get into

11:15that game

11:15in the first place

11:16and B

11:17all you do is

11:18piss people off

11:19and reduce your

11:20customer base

11:21now

11:21if you wanna

11:22get woke

11:23go broke

11:24that's your

11:25prerogative

11:25alright

11:26I'm just trying to

11:27give out some

11:28free advice for you

11:29you're dumb

11:30you're fucking stupid

11:31shut the fuck up

11:32and put your

11:33diabetes on the shelf

11:34and back the fuck away

11:35see you in the next

11:36video

11:37bye for now

11:44bye for now

11:51bye for now

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