- 14 ore fa
I film horror sono pellicole pensate per suscitare paura, tensione e suspense attraverso storie di mostri, fantasmi, serial killer, demoni, creature soprannaturali o eventi inspiegabili. Il genere comprende numerosi sottogeneri, come slasher, paranormal, zombie, thriller psicologico, found footage e survival horror, con classici intramontabili e produzioni moderne che hanno segnato la storia del cinema.
Categoria
😹
DivertentiTrascrizione
00:00:00Il nostro corso gratuito www.mesmerism.info
00:00:30Il nostro corso gratuito www.mesmerism.info
00:01:03Il nostro corso gratuito www.mesmerism.info
00:01:03They sent his blackened ashes to his mother, a witch
00:01:06who tracked down the maiden and left her a gift
00:01:26A box filled with spices and ashes within
00:01:43And when she baked up a cookie
00:01:54It rose with a grin
00:02:00It mangled and murdered
00:02:15It plunged and chopped
00:02:22The ginger dead man who couldn't be stopped
00:02:31Until late in the night
00:02:33When he finally met his fate
00:02:35The prince did rescue the maiden in wait
00:02:49Quick! No! Please!
00:02:52Stay away from me! Be possessed!
00:03:01The story ended happily
00:03:03Just like it showed
00:03:04As the homicidal cookie was banished for good
00:03:08The bakery was sold
00:03:10And the maiden was married
00:03:11The spices were stowed
00:03:13As the bodies were buried
00:03:15So don't peek in the oven
00:03:17At that black smoldering pan
00:03:19You just might find the monster called
00:03:22The ginger dead man!
00:03:30Run, run, run, run, run, run
00:03:32As fast as you can
00:03:35I'm bad, I'm mean
00:03:36I devised a plan
00:03:39I'm sick, I'm whack
00:03:40I'm a maniac
00:03:41I'm a touch, stop, slap
00:03:43I'll bust a cap
00:03:44So run, run, run
00:03:45As fast as you can
00:03:48So run
00:03:51Just run
00:03:52I said run
00:03:55Run, run, run
00:03:56As fast as you can
00:03:59Your number's up
00:04:00Meet your hatchet man
00:04:04I kick, I claw
00:04:05I bust your jaw
00:04:06I'm meaner than a mother-in-law
00:04:08So run, run, run
00:04:09As fast as you can
00:04:13So run
00:04:15Just run
00:04:17I said run
00:04:19I'm a hateful negative sociopath
00:04:20I'm a demon outcast
00:04:21I'm a demon outcast
00:04:21I'll pull blood
00:04:24No one to go
00:04:25Your name is mud
00:04:28You're to meet your ass scratch
00:04:30I'm opening up a can of what's that
00:04:33So run, run, run
00:04:34As fast as you can
00:04:37So run
00:04:39Just run
00:04:41I said run
00:04:43I'm a hateful negative sociopath
00:04:48I'll tan your heart, you'll feel my wrath
00:04:52I'll grind your bones to bake my bread
00:04:55You won't bite back, cause you'll be dead
00:04:57So run, run, run as fast as you can
00:05:01So run, just run
00:05:06I said run
00:05:08Run, run, run as fast as you can
00:05:12I'll take you out with a frying pan
00:05:17In my way, I'm ready to brawl
00:05:19I'm a walking, talking, wrecking ball
00:05:22So run, run, run as fast as you can
00:05:26So run, just run
00:05:30I said run
00:05:32You better run and hide as fast as you can
00:05:37I'm out of blood, it's your last stand
00:05:41You've done me wrong, gotta pay the price
00:05:44Time to be the power, time to fly
00:05:46So run, run, run as fast as you can
00:05:49So run, just run
00:05:54I said run
00:05:57So run, just run
00:06:01I said run, so run
00:06:05Just run
00:06:12Just run
00:06:14Yeah
00:06:26Alright everybody, back to one
00:06:29Tiny Terrace, take 36
00:06:31Lights, camera, action
00:06:38I call upon thee, the dark lord Satan
00:06:42Bring forth all of the fiery power from the oven that is your flaming sanctuary
00:06:48I call upon the element of fire
00:06:51Let the burning heated flames release your minions from the dark underworld
00:06:56No
00:06:57Yes Cornelius, yes Sera
00:06:59Satan thrives on pain
00:07:02Deliver unto him this nubile virgin's infernal suffering
00:07:08Praise her, praise her
00:07:11Praise her, praise her, praise her
00:07:17Praise her
00:07:17Run
00:07:18No
00:07:18Pain
00:07:20Now
00:07:21Throw gold at her
00:07:25Yes
00:07:26Throw gold
00:07:27No gold
00:07:29More gold
00:07:31More gold
00:07:34More gold
00:07:35More gold
00:07:37More gold
00:07:37It pleasures me
00:07:41Even still more gold
00:07:44Give her gold
00:07:46Give her that gold
00:07:52Now let the blood of this innocent flesh be your offering
00:07:58Let her misery and extinguish life be the essence that opens up the portal to release your minions
00:08:09As I bear this dagger, the instrument of your will, may my aim be true
00:08:16May the blood spilled on this altar be the final ingredient to release your tiny terrors and cause them to
00:08:26rise
00:08:35Rise, rise, rise, rise, rise, rise, rise, rise, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
00:08:44ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
00:08:45ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
00:08:45ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
00:08:45ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
00:08:45ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
00:08:45ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
00:08:45ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
00:08:45ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
00:08:45ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
00:08:45ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
00:08:55Ahahahahahah!
00:09:00Ahahahah!
00:09:02Temoroid!
00:09:05Ahhhhhhh!
00:09:16Ahahahaha!
00:09:18Herculator!
00:09:30Shit for brains
00:09:43And finally
00:09:46Haunted Dildo
00:09:48Ride Haunted Dildo
00:09:50Ride Haunted Dildo
00:09:51Ride Haunted Dildo
00:09:57Welcome O tiny heaven
00:09:58Now
00:10:00Go forth
00:10:02And spread your evils
00:10:04Across this debauched planet
00:10:06Go
00:10:07And destroy humanity
00:10:10Ha ha ha
00:10:12Ha ha ha
00:10:12Ha ha ha
00:10:14Ha ha ha
00:10:22Son of a bitch
00:10:25God damn cocksucker
00:10:28That's a cut
00:10:29That's a cut people
00:10:30No no no no no
00:10:32The line is
00:10:33Rise up and hover through these cursed streets
00:10:36And suck forth the life force
00:10:38That will feed the almighty demon
00:10:40You need me to run lines with you bro
00:10:41I know my god damn lines
00:10:44Clear out clear out
00:10:45Coming through
00:10:47Calm down calm down
00:10:48Hold still Mary
00:10:49Oh get away from me you queen
00:10:51Calvin
00:10:53I cannot work like this
00:10:56I have been here
00:10:57I have been here since 8 a.m.
00:11:12It is now 10 p.m.
00:11:13Unhand me
00:11:15Prick
00:11:16Yeah I wanna go home too
00:11:19And I gotta piss
00:11:21Everybody just please
00:11:23Calm down
00:11:24I'm moving as fast as I can
00:11:27Let's just uh untie
00:11:29Our nubile young virgin
00:11:31And we can all get back to work
00:11:34Come on
00:11:34We're trying to make a movie here
00:11:37Let's just hang in there
00:11:38Let's go chop chop
00:11:40Keep it down people
00:11:43You miserable puppets
00:11:49Guys what is going on with these puppets
00:11:51You're killing me here
00:11:52What's going on
00:11:53Is that these assholes can't afford to do this shit right
00:11:55I mean who builds this crap
00:11:57I did
00:11:57Look look look look
00:11:59We all agreed to do this for Calvin
00:12:01Because his father gave us our start
00:12:03But let's face it
00:12:05The genre is dead
00:12:06And so is this operation
00:12:08Cheatham International is far from dead fellas
00:12:10This is just a little detour
00:12:12This picture is gonna mark the return of my father's studio
00:12:14As a major force in the entertainment industry
00:12:17Tiny Terrors 9
00:12:19Purgatory of the Petite
00:12:20I defy you to forget a title like that
00:12:23I'd like to forget I ever met you
00:12:33Looks like we're gonna be here another three hours Polly
00:12:37Better order up that third meal
00:12:38I got something better than a third meal stud
00:12:41Oh yeah?
00:12:42Yeah
00:12:44But I hope you're hungry
00:12:45Cause I'm breaking out my big pink box
00:12:52My sister sent us some baked goods all the way from the great state of Texas
00:12:56You think you can handle these honey buns?
00:13:00I always say
00:13:02Nothing satiates the savage appetite of a North American movie crew member
00:13:07What the fuck am I?
00:13:08Like hot and sticky sweets
00:13:21Are you joking?
00:13:24These things are stale
00:13:28Hey!
00:13:29Alright people
00:13:30Let's get it together
00:13:31We're back in 10
00:13:33I know you're exhausted
00:13:35I'm exhausted
00:13:37Hell the whole crew is exhausted
00:13:38Look
00:13:39You just calm down
00:13:40You just hang in
00:13:42No no no no
00:13:42You just hang in there
00:13:44It'll be fine
00:13:46You said this movie was gonna make me into a star
00:13:49It will
00:13:50You're gonna be a big star
00:13:52You said I was the most talented witch you'd ever met
00:13:57Oh honey
00:13:58You are exceedingly talented
00:14:01I gave you a blue dog
00:14:03You too
00:14:05Calvin
00:14:06Excuse me Calvin
00:14:07You said this was gonna be a walk in a park
00:14:10You said come up to the beach
00:14:11Direct the stupid puppets
00:14:13Take the cash
00:14:14Look
00:14:14I really really like to help you save your dad's studio
00:14:18But you did not pay me enough to put up with this shit
00:14:21You get paid?
00:14:22No
00:14:22You get paid?
00:14:23No Ricky you ain't that
00:14:24Hey everybody
00:14:25He's been getting paid
00:14:26Is that what you're telling me?
00:14:28I haven't gotten around to payroll yet
00:14:29As soon as I do
00:14:30Is that what you're doing me?
00:14:35Talk about this on human
00:14:37He
00:14:37He
00:14:38He
00:14:38He
00:14:41Oh my God
00:14:42Oh my God
00:14:44Oh my God
00:14:45Oh my God
00:14:45Oh my God
00:14:46Oh my God
00:15:14I never teach you not to hit a girl
00:15:42Cheetham Studios
00:15:43I can't believe I'm actually here
00:15:46Well, that's what End of the Rainbow is all about
00:15:49Making your final dreams come true
00:15:51This is your special night, Tommy
00:15:53I mean, just look at this place
00:15:55Can't you just feel the movie magic in the air?
00:15:59Lord, baby, Jesus, come find us!
00:16:02Please, please, please don't quit, Wendy
00:16:04We need you
00:16:05It hurts
00:16:07But remember, pain is temporary, film is forever
00:16:09I just know it, he broke my nose
00:16:11No, no, no, no, no, it's gonna be just fine
00:16:14Hold on
00:16:16Let me see
00:16:19Does it look terrible?
00:16:22No, not at all
00:16:24You just need to put a little ice on it
00:16:25You know what? You look beautiful
00:16:27Really?
00:16:29Uh-huh
00:16:29Do you mean it?
00:16:31Yeah
00:16:31Excuse me, do you know where I could find Mr. Cheatham?
00:16:34Honey, I have a meeting I have to attend to
00:16:36Will you please just grab some coffee and take an aspirin?
00:16:39I'll see you back inside
00:16:42Okay, Calvin
00:16:42Bye
00:16:45Ma'am, if you're here regarding the tiny terror action figure lawsuit
00:16:49No, actually I...
00:16:50I can assure you all the toys deemed toxic have been removed from the shelves and incinerated
00:16:54And I'm sure you've heard the promising news that almost 80% of the boys' body hair will eventually grow
00:16:59back
00:16:59No, actually I'm Heather Crocker from the end of the Rainbow Last Wish Foundation
00:17:04And?
00:17:05And I'm Tommy
00:17:07It was my dying wish to see your amazing studio
00:17:11You're Calvin Cheatham
00:17:13Son of Rupert Cheatham, the low-budget movie master
00:17:18Creator of such genre hit classics as Beach Blanket Bludgeonery and Maniac Dry Cleaner and Escape from Sloth Island
00:17:26That one was a little slow in parts, but thank you
00:17:29Are you kidding?
00:17:31Your father was a genius
00:17:33I have every single movie he ever made
00:17:36He changed my life
00:17:39Or what's left of it, anyway
00:17:43Don't be sad, Tommy
00:17:45Maybe you'll see him up in heaven
00:17:47She's right
00:17:48We don't have time for doom and gloom around here
00:17:50This is a place where your wildest dreams come true
00:17:53So, who's ready to see first hand the magic that is Cheatham Studios?
00:17:59Keep it down, asshole!
00:18:05Nothing like a hot steaming bowl of Pauly's special something-something
00:18:10To get you through your mid-evening fisticuff
00:18:15Thanks
00:18:15No problem
00:18:17Pauly's gotta do her best to keep a big strappin' boy like you well-fed
00:18:22Is it hot enough for you?
00:18:25Real hot
00:18:26Fucking whore!
00:18:27Where the hell am I?
00:18:31I'd better split before one of these shitheads gets hungry
00:18:37Here we are on the historic Cheatham Studios backlog
00:18:39Wow, that's hamburger time traveler detective
00:18:42I hold his own
00:18:44Who?
00:18:44The charbroiled, hard-boiled crime fighter
00:18:47Created from the fusion of a hard-bitten street detective and his lunch during a teleportation accident
00:18:52You've gone horribly wrong
00:18:53I need to talk to you
00:18:55Marty, can't you see that I am in the process of making this young man's final dream come true?
00:18:59Yeah, well, unless you want your life to become a living nightmare
00:19:01I think you need to give me a minute of your time right now
00:19:05Will you two excuse me for a moment?
00:19:07I have some important movie industry business I need to attempt
00:19:09Sure
00:19:11Alright, listen
00:19:12The wire didn't come through from Russia today, okay?
00:19:15We have a serious cash flow problem on our hands
00:19:17Marty, we've had cash flow problems in the past
00:19:19It'll iron itself out
00:19:20Yeah, the problem is, if it does come through, I still don't think I can catch up
00:19:23Okay, you have way too many movies in production, okay?
00:19:25You got Tiny Terrors in the big stage
00:19:27You got Space Makers in Studio B
00:19:29And you have these loose ends of all these movies you're still trying to finish
00:19:31Kelvin, I say we pull the plug on 90% of what we got going on
00:19:35And just make one really great movie
00:19:37Marty, why don't we just try to get through this week
00:19:39And then we'll discuss cutting back on future Slate
00:19:42Future Slate
00:19:43We may not have one
00:19:46The script for Tiny Terrors 9 got leaked onto the internet
00:19:49Okay, people hate it, alright?
00:19:51These online bloggers and movie reviewers
00:19:54They're starting to get ferocious with you
00:19:56The reviewers love us, they grew up with us
00:19:58My father's studio is an American institution
00:20:00Really?
00:20:01Yeah
00:20:01Really, okay, let's see here
00:20:02Oh, I'd rather have lie poured into my eyes
00:20:05Than have to sit through another half-baked sheet of production
00:20:08Figures
00:20:08Tiny Terrors 9, audience nothing
00:20:10A production so wooden, it'll give you splinters
00:20:14And here's my favorite
00:20:15If you have trouble sleeping, just pop in the latest movie
00:20:17Alright, alright
00:20:18And those are the good ones
00:20:20There's this guy, this movie reviewer, horror reviewer
00:20:23Calls himself Demon Warrior 13, alright?
00:20:25He started a letter-writing campaign to boycott our movies
00:20:28And all the outlets that sell them unless we shut down production
00:20:31Come on, how much damage can this Demon Warrior 13 actually cause?
00:20:34In-N-Out Video, cancel their order
00:20:36NetPix, cancel their order
00:20:38Faster
00:20:39This guy's a maniac
00:20:40We're fading away, Calvin
00:20:41Alright, we need something, something big
00:20:43Okay, something that's gonna draw attention to the studio
00:20:45We need it fast
00:20:47I guess it's time to get back to the bloodshed
00:20:50Gourmet cookies, huh?
00:20:51Hey, Polly, you getting fancy on us?
00:20:53Just a little lovin' from the oven, baby
00:20:56Get out, make room for baby
00:20:58Hey, watch it, man
00:20:59Sorry, Butch
00:21:00So, what you serving up tonight, Polly?
00:21:03Mmm, some sugar and spice and everything nice
00:21:08Mama and I used to make cookies together
00:21:11When she wasn't drunk, face down on the kitchen floor
00:21:16But don't you just love raw cookie dough?
00:21:20Mmm, green puff
00:21:22Oh boy, are you gonna get it?
00:21:25Hey, Butch!
00:21:26Get your lazy ass over here!
00:21:28Alright, I'm coming
00:21:32Hands off, bitch
00:21:33He's mine
00:21:36This studio has been in my family for over 75 years
00:21:39You know, my father's personally responsible for 1500 horror, sci-fi, martial arts, and action-adventure films
00:21:46And I plan to continue that legacy with my own brand of high-quality genre entertainment
00:21:51We're one big happy family
00:21:53There's no goddamn toilet paper in the shedder again!
00:21:56Dumb shit!
00:21:57I had to wipe my ass with my socks!
00:22:00I've had it with this dump and your crappy projects!
00:22:04Fuck this shithole!
00:22:05And fuck you, too!
00:22:06You hear me?
00:22:07I fucking hate you!
00:22:09I hate you!
00:22:10Uh, keep up the good work!
00:22:12I'll see you on set!
00:22:14And, this is the area where we house all of our talent
00:22:17Wow, a real-life movie star trailer
00:22:20Yeah, and not just any movie star
00:22:21But Sir Ian Cavanaugh himself
00:22:23Yeah, I wouldn't do that if I were you, Kelvin
00:22:26Oh
00:22:26Tommy, Heather, this is Jake Jackson
00:22:29For 25 years, he's been Hollywood's premier stuntman and professional body double
00:22:33Come on, I need help!
00:22:33He lives for danger
00:22:34Hey there, kid
00:22:35What you got under the hood of that rig there, huh?
00:22:39I was just about to introduce Tommy here to the star of our latest Tiny Terrorist picture
00:22:43Yeah, now is probably not a good time
00:22:45Look, uh, why don't you guys go over to the, uh, special effects trailer, huh?
00:22:48I hear they're building a giant evil pineapple
00:22:51No, no, no, no
00:22:51Uh, this is sort of a special occasion, Jake
00:22:53I think it'd be best
00:22:54Yeah, look, he's holding himself up in the trailer
00:22:56He's not coming at him
00:22:58Well, why not?
00:22:59Oh, basically, he thinks this movie's a piece of shit
00:23:01Um, he hates the script
00:23:03And, more importantly, he hates you
00:23:05What are you talking about, Jake?
00:23:07I've known Sir Ian since I was eight
00:23:09I used to mow his lawn
00:23:10We're practically family
00:23:13So, you sneaky little son of a bitch
00:23:17Sir Ian, Sir Ian, before you say anything
00:23:20I want to introduce you to Tommy
00:23:21Comes to us from the Children's Hospital
00:23:23Courtesy of the End of the Rainbow Foundation
00:23:25They wheeled him all the way in here
00:23:26Just to meet you
00:23:27Well, they wheeled him in
00:23:29And they can bloody well wheel him out again
00:23:30Huh?
00:23:31And you and I have some business
00:23:33To take care of, Sparky
00:23:34Now, you listen to me
00:23:36You know that I'm a very busy man
00:23:38With a very busy schedule
00:23:39Movies, television shows
00:23:41Personal appearances
00:23:42So, when the son of a dear departed friend of mine calls
00:23:47And asks me to do them a favor
00:23:49By appearing in an independent family drama
00:23:52That is precisely what I expect it to be
00:23:56Now it is revealed to me that I am to burst into a paper mache castle
00:24:00Brandishing a real and fully loaded AK-47 rifle
00:24:04Just to blow to bits a bunch of slime-covered hand puppets
00:24:08Take it easy, Sir Ian
00:24:09It's a family drama of sorts
00:24:11After all, the tiny terrors are all the spawn of Satan
00:24:16Not bloody likely, mate
00:24:22So, who wants to tour the sound stages?
00:24:26Oh, gotta kill, gotta kill
00:24:28What the hell am I?
00:24:29I just had him done
00:24:29Nice pair of cupcakes
00:24:34Move it, asshole
00:24:35I gotta get rid of this cookie body
00:24:36I'm getting stale
00:24:38How do I transfer my soul to a new host?
00:24:43Hey, hey
00:24:45Hey, man, what do you want me to do with these, uh, Satanic spell books?
00:24:48Put them in the prop room
00:24:49Dipshit
00:24:50Oh, right, the prop room, you fucking prick
00:24:53Spell books
00:24:54How wonderfully contrived
00:24:59Oh, yeah
00:25:06In it, Dr. Callahan
00:25:08Nothing would you not
00:25:09Damn it
00:25:10Oh, I can't fake it anymore
00:25:12I'm sorry, Ensign Del Rio
00:25:14But the only way to get this gestating creature out of your body
00:25:16Is with deliberate and vigorous paddling
00:25:19We initiate ass-padding sequence
00:25:22Thank you, sister
00:25:25Work with us, Del Rio
00:25:27Work with us
00:25:28Don't you die on me, you son of a bitch
00:25:30Don't you die
00:25:31Let her have it
00:25:31Ow!
00:25:33Take your anything back there, you asshole
00:25:35Cut
00:25:36It hurts
00:25:37Cut
00:25:38Okay, everybody
00:25:39Let's keep it moving
00:25:40We got a lot to do
00:25:42Excuse me, Mr. Dakota
00:25:44How was that?
00:25:45Was that good?
00:25:48Did you like what I did?
00:25:49Was it good?
00:25:52Did I like it?
00:25:54Was it in focus?
00:25:55As far as I could tell
00:25:56Kid, you were fucking brilliant
00:26:04Now, let's see
00:26:06Powers of invisibility
00:26:08Ah, completely far-fetched
00:26:09Reanimation of dead tissue
00:26:11Ridiculous
00:26:12Bringing dolls to life
00:26:14Sounds like horse shit to me
00:26:17Transmigration
00:26:18Soul-to-body transference spell
00:26:20Place a drop of blood
00:26:22From five separate victims
00:26:23On the points of an evil pentagram
00:26:25Who writes this shit?
00:26:27After the malevolent incantation
00:26:29A final kill
00:26:30A sixth victim
00:26:31And that
00:26:32The body of a virgin
00:26:33Must be claimed
00:26:34Only then will transmigration
00:26:38Be complete
00:26:39Easy as pie
00:26:40This is gonna be a fucking cakewalk
00:26:48And this is the set of my big science fiction epic
00:26:51Space spankers
00:26:522015
00:26:53Wow
00:26:54That's David Dakota
00:26:56These films are known for their thrills
00:26:59High concept gothic horror
00:27:00And subtle homoeroticism
00:27:02How's this for the lunar spacewalk?
00:27:05Love it
00:27:07Okay guys, keep moving
00:27:08Let's bring in the remote control robot
00:27:10For the kung fu sequence
00:27:11Calvin, I got good news
00:27:12Great
00:27:13Well, sort of
00:27:13Okay, I just got a call from this company
00:27:15They need an office to shoot a few pick-up shots in
00:27:17So?
00:27:17So, I said they can use one of ours
00:27:19I got $3,000
00:27:21It's enough to stay afloat for another day
00:27:23Okay, who knows
00:27:24Maybe by then the wire will come through
00:27:25Okay, what I'm saying is
00:27:26I can rob Peter to pay Paul
00:27:28And then I need to think of another way
00:27:30To keep everything going for a while
00:27:31You're a genius
00:27:31Thank you
00:27:32What are they shooting?
00:27:33Uh, does it really matter?
00:27:34Three grand
00:27:35They're shooting a movie
00:27:36It's a love story
00:27:38Um, it's called
00:27:40Donkey Punch Office Party
00:27:41It's a porn film
00:27:42They're going to be shooting in your office
00:27:44No pun intended
00:27:45Did they pay you cash?
00:27:46Yes
00:27:46Then tell them to have a great shoot
00:27:48Excellent
00:27:48I told you everything would work out
00:27:50From here on out, it's smooth sailing
00:28:05Now we're cooking!
00:28:12What is this?
00:28:14We're waiting on just you, you know
00:28:15Listen, I'm an effect slapper
00:28:17Not a miracle worker, alright?
00:28:19I told you guys this thing
00:28:20Need to be completely rewired
00:28:21I mean, the receiver, you know
00:28:23Is totally shot
00:28:24Is there any way we can just shit rig this thing
00:28:26To get it going?
00:28:26Shit rigging shit, right?
00:28:27Exactly
00:28:28Listen, I think what we should do
00:28:29Is move the controller into the chest
00:28:30Out hardwire, out the ankle
00:28:32I think we might get a better signal
00:28:33Might work
00:28:34Alright, I'm desperate
00:28:35Let's just try it
00:28:36Let's see what we can do
00:28:37Great work, everybody!
00:28:38Get off my set, Mary
00:28:40Mr. Cheatham
00:28:41When can I see the tiny terrors?
00:28:43It is getting a little late for him
00:28:45Maybe we should take him
00:28:46To see the little puppet
00:28:46Sure!
00:28:48I can't wait to see his look
00:28:49When he sees him face to face
00:28:51You have really pretty eyes
00:28:59One down, four to go
00:29:00Who's next on the hit parade?
00:29:03I love a parade
00:29:05La la la la la la la la la la
00:29:08Hey, you're a big ass back on set
00:29:10Don't fuck with me, fella
00:29:12This ain't my first day at the rodeo
00:29:14Nothing like a little sliced fruit cake
00:29:22I like to say a well-fed crew is a happy crew
00:29:25Can I interest you in a bottled water
00:29:26Or perhaps a rice cake?
00:29:28Hey, I know her
00:29:29You're Polly Bonderhoof
00:29:32She was a scream queen in the early 80s
00:29:35Was is the key word there, Brideye
00:29:38Well, it's nice to meet you
00:29:40This is Tommy and I'm Heather
00:29:42You were in Biker Bitches from Beyond and Back
00:29:45I'm surprised you noticed me without my cattle prod
00:29:48We like to keep everyone in the Cheatham family working
00:29:50I didn't know you were an actress
00:29:52There's a lot you don't know about me, Tiger
00:29:54What happened?
00:29:56Well, what happened happened, baby
00:29:58A botched set of implants
00:30:01It's a cruel sentencing on a woman who makes a living off her bosom
00:30:05Well, um, it was certainly nice meeting you
00:30:08Where did you say that those puppets were?
00:30:10Can I have your autograph, Miss Bonderhoof?
00:30:14And that's it
00:30:15No charge, you cute little billiard ball
00:30:19You take real good care of yourself, young man
00:30:22And you get hungry later, you know where Polly is
00:30:26Thanks, Miss Bonderhoof
00:30:35Attention, Tiny Terror crew members
00:30:37We're going to break for another ten
00:30:39While we try and get Sweeney out of his trailer again
00:30:41I could use a little help out here, guys
00:30:51Time for a little maintenance, old girl
00:31:06Ooh, what have we here?
00:31:31I'm getting too old for this shit
00:31:38Ooh, fun
00:31:47Well, that story is partially true
00:31:49But I was eventually acquitted of all charges
00:31:51Of course, Lord Astro's evil lair
00:31:55It looks so much bigger on TV
00:31:59I guess the Tiny Terrors are back in the special effects shop
00:32:02Wow
00:32:04What an amazing life you have
00:32:07Must be so much fun doing this for a living
00:32:10It is
00:32:10Your job is really...
00:32:15So, this is where we're shooting a big virgin sacrifice scene
00:32:17That raises the Tiny Terror
00:32:18Kick-ass
00:32:20Seems like you really do have a fan here
00:32:22Thanks
00:32:25Maybe two
00:32:27Actually
00:32:30Thanks again
00:32:32Making movies is all I know
00:32:35As far back as I can remember
00:32:36I used to watch my father run this studio
00:32:40Every day he came to work
00:32:41He had a big smile on his face
00:32:43Because he loved what he did so much
00:32:46I always knew that when I grew up
00:32:47This is what I wanted to do
00:32:49Here I am
00:32:52I just love making movies
00:32:54Now, I know that the movies we make here aren't considered art or mainstream
00:33:00But for me, it's a passion
00:33:02And for the select crowd that wants something different
00:33:04I got them lining up around the block
00:33:07Love them or hate them
00:33:08You always know at my studio
00:33:09You're in store for something that you just can't see at any regular old movie house
00:33:12I guess we both make wishes come true
00:33:16Except for Demon Warrior 13
00:33:18I mean, I just don't see what the big deal is
00:33:20With me making the kind of movies that I want to see
00:33:23If you know you're going to hate something so much
00:33:25Before you even open up the package
00:33:26Then why bother even watching it?
00:33:29Well, I know that I'm looking forward to seeing what you guys have created here
00:33:33Really?
00:33:36Really?
00:34:05Oh, the cougar is ready to stalk her prey
00:34:11Meow
00:34:19Hey, Charlie, you seen Nick?
00:34:20No, man, it's just like that asshole
00:34:22The fucking Disney World
00:34:40I should have an assistant to help me with this kind of crap
00:34:46I shouldn't be doing this manual labor
00:34:48I'm a VIP
00:34:50Sixteen hour days, no second meal
00:34:53I've had it with these losers
00:34:54And a star
00:34:56I should never have thrown away my passion for jazz dance
00:35:00You try to do someone a favor by working for less than half your rate
00:35:04And they don't even pay you that
00:35:05Soon I'll be paying them to show up in this shithole
00:35:08When this bitch has had a night
00:35:11Try and be nice
00:35:13And all they do is turn right around and fuck you
00:35:17Right in the ass
00:35:19Ask, and ye shall receive
00:35:21Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
00:35:38oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
00:35:38oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
00:35:38oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
00:35:40oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
00:35:42oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
00:35:51Grazie a tutti.
00:36:21Grazie a tutti.
00:36:51Grazie a tutti.
00:37:05Grazie a tutti.
00:37:09Grazie a tutti.
00:37:22Grazie a tutti.
00:37:33Grazie a tutti.
00:37:34Grazie a tutti.
00:37:34Grazie a tutti.
00:37:42Grazie a tutti.
00:37:49Grazie a tutti.
00:37:51Grazie a tutti.
00:37:53Grazie a tutti.
00:37:57Grazie a tutti.
00:38:00Grazie a tutti.
00:38:04Grazie a tutti.
00:38:05Grazie a tutti.
00:38:07Grazie a tutti.
00:38:13Grazie a tutti.
00:38:55Grazie a tutti.
00:39:04Grazie a tutti.
00:39:20Grazie a tutti.
00:39:29Grazie a tutti.
00:39:31Grazie a tutti.
00:39:55Ciao a tutti.
00:39:56Grazie a tutti.
00:39:57?
00:40:29?
00:40:29Grazie a tutti.
00:40:36?
00:40:37?
00:40:37?
00:40:39?
00:40:40?
00:40:41?
00:40:43?
00:40:43?
00:40:47?
00:40:47?
00:40:49?
00:41:18?
00:41:20???
00:41:23???????
00:41:54???????
00:42:24?????
00:42:51???????
00:43:22?????????????????
00:43:52Yes!
00:43:53Get the hell out of here!
00:43:54Everyone run for your lives!
00:43:55You heard him shutting us down again!
00:43:57Everybody make a run for it!
00:44:01Just hold still, you're gonna be okay!
00:44:03Okay!
00:44:04I just got my fucking hand cut off, lady!
00:44:07I mean, I mean, I'm gonna be fine!
00:44:08I mean, I'm gonna be fine!
00:44:08Just try not to bleed too much!
00:44:10I'm calling for help!
00:44:11I'm on one way!
00:44:11Please, please, please!
00:44:13We've just been invaded by an evil chainsaw-wielding possessed cookie monster!
00:44:17I'm looking at my fucking day!
00:44:17It's okay, it's okay!
00:44:19Look!
00:44:21Stop it!
00:44:25Get out of the way!
00:44:26Get out of my way!
00:44:33Get out of my way!
00:44:34Get out of my way!
00:44:35Get out of my way!
00:44:35Stop it!
00:44:38Wait!
00:44:38Stop it!
00:44:39Be careful!
00:44:54Tommy?
00:44:58Tommy?
00:45:00Tommy?
00:45:11Come on.
00:45:30Mommy?
00:45:32Where are you?
00:45:34Is anyone here?
00:45:44What? What was that thing?
00:45:46That was one of your stupid puppets, right?
00:45:49What was it?
00:45:51Our puppets never looked that ridiculous.
00:45:54Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
00:46:05Hee hee hee hee hee, hee hee hee.
00:46:07It's crazy.
00:46:08Sì.
00:46:22Mamma mia?
00:46:24Sì, stai dietro.
00:46:28Non bemmo.
00:46:30Non bemmo.
00:46:32Non bemmo.
00:46:34Help me, Heather.
00:46:40I'm over here.
00:46:41He's in the spacesuit tent. Come on, hurry.
00:46:43Wait.
00:46:44What?
00:46:44I mean...
00:46:46How much time does he really have left, anyway?
00:46:48Oh!
00:46:51Fuck.
00:47:13Tommy?
00:47:16Tommy!
00:47:24Help me!
00:47:38Tommy!
00:47:40Tommy!
00:47:47Tommy!
00:47:51Tommy!
00:47:54Tommy!
00:47:55Tommy, you can come out now.
00:48:00Tommy, don't be frightened.
00:48:02We're just here to...
00:48:03Oh my God!
00:48:06Oh my God!
00:48:07I was on my way to the car!
00:48:09And I got a dead place by...
00:48:11We know, we know, we know. We stole it!
00:48:13Where's that? Where's that thing from?
00:48:14I don't know.
00:48:17What?
00:48:20What's that ice smell?
00:48:22It smells like cinnamon extract.
00:48:26Oh, he's coming.
00:48:28This can't be happening.
00:48:29I...
00:48:29I just want to make rubies.
00:48:31I didn't want to die!
00:48:32I didn't want to die!
00:48:33I didn't want to die!
00:48:33I didn't want to die!
00:48:34Pull yourself together!
00:48:36We gotta stay inside!
00:48:38And hide!
00:48:39Try to get out now is like a death sentence!
00:48:42No, no!
00:48:42No, don't go!
00:48:44That thing will tear you limb from limb!
00:48:46We can escape!
00:48:48We're gonna be trapped here like rats!
00:48:49Come on!
00:48:49Jakey's right!
00:48:50You gotta come with us!
00:48:51Come on!
00:48:52Damn you, Jacob!
00:48:54I tell you!
00:48:55That cookie's a killing machine!
00:48:58What the hell?
00:49:07I told you so much!
00:49:11Bye-bye!
00:49:12Oh, my God!
00:49:13I thought that thing was a prop!
00:49:15So did I!
00:49:15It must've rewired it!
00:49:17Damn, those guys are really good!
00:49:20Like it says, Laman!
00:49:21Like a head shot from the oven!
00:49:23Ha-h-ha-ha!
00:49:24Get ready of your biscuits!
00:49:25Burn!
00:49:27It's him!
00:49:29He-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he!
00:49:32Ha-ha-ha!
00:49:33Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
00:49:34Ha-ha-ha-ha!
00:49:36Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
00:49:42Hello, my little cherry pie!
00:49:47We're ready to have your bagel design!
00:49:48Toasted baby
00:50:00You okay?
00:50:03Yeah
00:50:04But who?
00:50:07Demon warrior 13?
00:50:10No, it's
00:50:11It's
00:50:13Here's Tommy
00:50:14Should I say Thomas the Terror Goldberg?
00:50:19Esteemed film critic
00:50:20And columnist for the
00:50:22Internationally renowned horror website
00:50:25BloodyFissures.com
00:50:28Screen name?
00:50:30Demon warrior 13
00:50:34Oh shit
00:50:36Yeah, remember me dickwad?
00:50:39Kid who sent you
00:50:40Countless scripts which were callously
00:50:42Rejected and returned
00:50:44Unopened
00:50:45Well we really try not to accept unsolicited mail
00:50:50Silence!
00:50:51Tommy
00:50:52I thought that you
00:50:54Yeah, you thought, you thought, you thought
00:50:56You didn't think too hard
00:50:57Did you darling?
00:50:58Do you have any idea
00:51:00How hard it is to fake a terminal illness
00:51:03In the name of vengeance?
00:51:05You have really got to have a passion
00:51:07To make your point
00:51:08And tonight
00:51:09Kelvin
00:51:10I'll be making the ultimate point
00:51:13Because your studio is about to premiere
00:51:17Its biggest bomb ever
00:51:21You like the bad pun?
00:51:24You should
00:51:25Because your movies are filled with them
00:51:27Seriously
00:51:27I tried to warn you in all my scathing reviews
00:51:31But you didn't listen
00:51:34Thomas
00:51:34Mr. Terror
00:51:38I don't know if now is a good time
00:51:39But I'm a really big fan of your website
00:51:41Of course you are, I'm brilliant
00:51:44I've read literally
00:51:45Every single screenwriting
00:51:47Instruction manual that exists
00:51:50I know how to
00:51:51Make a good movie
00:51:52But do you hire the people that know what they're doing
00:51:55No, no, no, no
00:51:56You're too busy making sequels
00:51:59Or following your dreams
00:52:02Or hiring your friends
00:52:03All in the name of having a good time
00:52:08You ruined the Tiny Terrors franchise
00:52:11The new script sucks
00:52:13I mean, anybody with a fucking brain
00:52:15In their head knows that you
00:52:16Can't kill a possessed imp
00:52:18With an AK-47
00:52:21You need an exorcist
00:52:23For anything as powerful
00:52:25As a haunted dildo
00:52:28Scorsese's probably
00:52:29Rolling in his grave
00:52:31At the thought of you and the shitrig operation
00:52:33Actually, Martin Scorsese
00:52:35Is still alive
00:52:36I said shut up, buttsniff
00:52:38And get ready to meet my little friend
00:52:41It all ends tonight
00:52:44No more cheesy props
00:52:48No more ridiculous storylines and scenarios
00:52:53No more meandering self-righteous monologues
00:52:59When I'm done here
00:53:00No one will ever have to watch one of your movies
00:53:04Ever
00:53:05Ever again
00:53:08Get ready
00:53:10Because it's about to call final picture wrap
00:53:13Wait!
00:53:15You're right
00:53:18You're absolutely right
00:53:19What?
00:53:20Don't do that
00:53:21What you're saying is making perfect sense
00:53:25I'm a total hack
00:53:27I have no talent
00:53:29I have no idea what I'm doing
00:53:33I desperately need someone like you on my team
00:53:37And sadly
00:53:38You've had to go to this extreme
00:53:40To make me realize
00:53:41That I can't do this alone
00:53:43Really?
00:53:44Yes, really
00:53:45Yes, you big
00:53:47Brilliant
00:53:48Cinematic
00:53:49Genius
00:53:50Son of a bitch
00:53:54I need someone like you
00:53:57We need you
00:53:59Let's face it
00:54:00Since I took over
00:54:02Our movies have become total caca
00:54:08Well, I mean, they're not that bad
00:54:09I mean, I'm reading them, right?
00:54:11I'm watching them
00:54:13I mean
00:54:15Obviously, there's an audience for what you're doing
00:54:17I mean, you guys have been at it for 50 years
00:54:19You must be doing something
00:54:20You know what?
00:54:23Right here
00:54:23Right now
00:54:25I want to offer you a three-picture deal
00:54:27What?
00:54:30Really?
00:54:37Well, I gotta say I'm feeling a little bit awkward here
00:54:39No!
00:54:40No, this isn't awkward at all!
00:54:42You did the right thing
00:54:45You know what?
00:54:46On Monday
00:54:47We're gonna create a whole new slate just for you
00:54:49I can't believe I'm hearing this
00:54:50I mean, all this time
00:54:52All I've ever wanted to do
00:54:54Was be in the business
00:54:56I mean
00:54:58You do know I live with my mother, right?
00:55:00And I operate out of her basement
00:55:01No, I didn't know that
00:55:03Yeah
00:55:04God, it feels so good to finally talk about it
00:55:06I mean, I'm down there
00:55:08And she's all up in my ass with
00:55:10Get a job!
00:55:11And no more piercings!
00:55:13And I'm like, please, come on
00:55:15And I'm 27
00:55:16I don't need her telling me what to do
00:55:18You know what to do
00:55:18Oh, you'll never have to hear her bitching at you ever again
00:55:23You've arrived, Thomas Goldberg
00:55:25Or should I say
00:55:27Thomas Terror
00:55:29Something tells me
00:55:30You're gonna be responsible for Cheatham Studios' biggest hit
00:55:46Oh my god, my fucking spine
00:55:50A little help
00:55:51A little help
00:55:51Oh, god
00:55:52Ouch
00:56:13You know, you two would have been so much better off
00:56:17If you just wanna let me blow you to smithereens
00:56:20Thomas Terror, you untie us right now
00:56:22But now, you're going to die surrounded by your shitty little puppets
00:56:27In the final shitty scene of your final shitty movie
00:56:32Consider it payback for all the cinematic headaches you put me through over the years
00:56:37Maybe you should have reconsidered the whole unsolicited mail policy
00:56:42Yeah
00:56:43By the way, I knew you were faking the whole time
00:56:47No, you didn't
00:56:48Yes, I did
00:56:48No, you didn't
00:56:49They did
00:56:50No, you didn't
00:56:51I did
00:56:51Yes, I did
00:56:52Yes, I did
00:56:52Stop it
00:56:52Please
00:56:53You're not helping things
00:56:56Please, Tommy
00:56:57Don't do this
00:56:58I don't wanna die
00:56:59Just
00:57:00Just let me go
00:57:01And I promise I won't tell anybody
00:57:02I swear
00:57:04Tommy
00:57:05Tommy, wasn't it me that took you to all those comic book conventions
00:57:08And remember the time that I got you and all the other kids front row seats to the Shriner Circus
00:57:12That was me, Tommy, Heather Crocker
00:57:15I am a human being with feelings
00:57:18I have a sister with a hair lamp
00:57:21Okay, I'm not the one who came in and ruined his father's movie studio
00:57:24That was him
00:57:25Kill him if you want, but please let me go
00:57:29And all this time I thought we were bonding
00:57:31Enough, you bitches
00:57:41And now, before I cut out your worthless, hopeful little hearts
00:57:46I will hold you captive audience
00:57:49As I read an antagonizing passage
00:57:52From your own hokey pokey spell book
00:57:55That I found in the prop room
00:57:58The same spell book
00:57:59Ah, this is too good to be true
00:58:01You and G-Dub Studios have been using since the 1950s
00:58:03Which, by the way
00:58:05I'll be putting up for memorabilia auction on eBay
00:58:09Just as I'm done
00:58:10KILLING YOU
00:58:11M-
00:58:18I call upon the powers of Earth
00:58:22I call upon the powers of Fire
00:58:30I call upon the powers of Wind
00:58:44All right, let's skip that part
00:58:46Sacrificial heart removal
00:58:48Here it is
00:58:48Before the ceremony can begin
00:58:50The executioner must first carve the unholy star pentagram
00:58:53In the palm of his own hand
00:58:58Okay, you know what?
00:58:59Let's forget that part too
00:58:59Here we go
00:59:01Demonic torture ceremony
00:59:03Hello, ladies and gentlemen
00:59:05I think we've found a keeper
00:59:06Excuse me, Mr. Terror
00:59:08You're not thinking straight
00:59:10You think?
00:59:12In order to begin the ceremony
00:59:14Where the blood of a sacrifice
00:59:15Will rejuvenate Satan's evil house
00:59:17Sounds fun so far
00:59:18First you must start with
00:59:20An unsuspecting virgin
00:59:27I'll make it so you never have to watch another bad movie again
00:59:31I got my virgin
00:59:51Thank you
00:59:52Thank you so much, Mr. Gingerbread Man
00:59:54Thank you
01:00:01That's Gingerbread Man
01:00:02And thank you
01:00:07Can't be sure if the guy with the cutoff arm bit it or not
01:00:10So I'm gonna need to off one of you as a little insurance policy
01:00:13To make sure I have five victims
01:00:15Which means I'll have to use Ron Howard over there as my new host
01:00:19Hello
01:00:23Oh, how I miss mortal flesh
01:00:25I can't tell you how hard it is to get your groove on
01:00:28While you're laying on some bakery shelf next to a pile of apple fritters
01:00:31You're insane
01:00:33I'd even give you a second helping
01:00:37And now it's time for you and your leading man here to get your just dessert
01:00:53Oh, God, I killed me
01:00:59I'm very sick
01:01:03What the fuck
01:01:04Who's in here with us?
01:01:15The puppets, they're coming to life
01:01:17Close your eyes, Heather
01:01:25Get your fucking hands off of me
01:01:27Don't you know, sweetheart, bad for you?
01:01:30Let me go
01:01:31Where are you taking me?
01:01:34Where are you taking me?
01:01:36Stop it
01:01:37Stop it
01:01:40Get out of me
01:01:43Don't touch me that way
01:01:46Stop it
01:01:47Where are you taking me?
01:01:49Stupid puppets
01:02:13No, I'm too young to die
01:02:17No, I'm too young to die
01:02:20Please, what a world
01:02:21What a world
01:02:22What a world
01:02:25Oh, no, no, no, no
01:02:26No, no, no, no
01:02:27That hurts a lot
01:02:29No, not my tootsies
01:02:31Not my yummy little tootsies
01:02:33Ow
01:02:34Ow
01:02:36Remember what's winter?
01:02:40Hi
01:02:40Ow
01:02:41Ow
01:02:42God, that hurts a lot
01:02:45Oh
01:02:46Oh
01:02:46Cold
01:02:47Oh
01:02:48Oh
01:02:49Oh
01:03:02My
01:03:03What's happening?
01:03:05You don't want to know!
01:03:06The horror!
01:03:08The horror!
01:03:25I think it's burning!
01:03:30That's just more delicious!
01:03:34What? No! No!
01:03:37I didn't know you could do that to a cookie!
01:03:39What? What did I do?
01:03:44Stay with me, Heather! Stay with me!
01:03:55Alley-ho!
01:03:56You half-big, fine-sized little shit-kickers!
01:03:59Look! It's Serene Cavanaugh!
01:04:01It's time to send you back!
01:04:03It's a hell's kitchen!
01:04:06Ah!
01:04:08There's a baby!
01:04:09Don't be a baby!
01:04:10I don't want to!
01:04:11Ah!
01:04:12Ah!
01:04:13Fire!
01:04:14Fire!
01:04:17Fire!
01:04:18What's happening? What's happening? What are you doing?
01:04:20Ah!
01:04:24Ah!
01:04:24Ah!
01:04:25Ah!
01:04:25Ah!
01:04:26Ah!
01:04:27Ah!
01:04:27Ah!
01:04:27Ah!
01:04:28Ah!
01:04:29Ah!
01:04:49I suppose that's the way the cookie crumbles, eh?
01:04:53Ah!
01:04:57Ah!
01:04:58Ah!
01:04:58Ah!
01:04:59Ah!
01:04:59I guess I was wrong!
01:05:01I guess it, uh, did look kind of good, eh?
01:05:04To say the least!
01:05:06Ah!
01:05:07Ah!
01:05:07Ah!
01:05:10Ah!
01:05:11Ah!
01:05:13Ah!
01:05:13Ah!
01:05:13Ah!
01:05:13Ah!
01:05:14Ah!
01:05:14Ah!
01:05:16Ah!
01:05:16Ah!
01:05:17Ah!
01:05:20Ah!
01:05:23Ah!
01:05:24Ah!
01:05:28Ah!
01:05:29Ah!
01:05:31Ah!
01:05:32You little son of a bitch!
01:05:33I should have known better than to lower myself to work with such a rank amateur!
01:05:39You'll be hearing from my lawyer!
01:05:41Do you hear me?
01:05:43Will you forgive me?
01:05:46I'm a sucker for happy endings.
01:06:08And now the winner for best horror hand puppet motion picture is
01:06:13Kelvin Cheatham for Tiny Terrors 9 Purgatory of the Petite
01:06:17Book and Lyrics by Kelvin Cheatham
01:06:26So they lived happily ever after
01:06:29The storyteller and his new wife
01:06:31They remembered the dead
01:06:33But more importantly, life
01:06:35And another chapter ended for the ginger dead man
01:06:40It seemed his story finished when their story began
01:06:45Cookies should stay inside of their jars
01:06:48Not murder and kill and hijack your cars
01:06:52So follow your dreams, no matter what they say
01:06:56Never listen to critics
01:06:58Those assholes are lame
01:07:00And warn all your children in search of a treat
01:07:06Eat all your veggies
01:07:22Because you are what you eat
01:07:41Run, run, run as fast as you can
01:07:46I'm fat, I'm mean, I defy the plan
01:07:50I'm sick, I'm whack, I'm a maniac
01:07:52I'm touch, stop, slap, I'll bust a cap
01:07:55So run, run, run as fast as you can
01:08:01Run, just run
01:08:03I said run
01:08:06Run, run, run as fast as you can
01:08:16I'm a deviant outcast out for blood
01:08:19So run, run, run as fast as you can
01:08:24Run, just run
01:08:27I said run
01:08:30I'm a deviant outcast out for blood
01:08:35No where to go, your name is Mud
01:08:39Here to meet your ass scrap
01:08:41I'm opening up a can of wood fast
01:08:44So run, run, run as fast as you can
01:08:49Run, just run
01:08:52I said run
01:08:54I'm a hateful negative sociopath
01:08:59I'll stand your heart, you'll feel my wrath
01:09:03I'll grind your bones to bake my bread
01:09:06You won't buy back cause you'll be dead
01:09:08So run, run, run as fast as you can
01:09:12So run, just run
01:09:16I said run
01:09:19Run, run, run as fast as you can
01:09:23I'll take you out with a frying pan
01:09:28In my way, I'm ready to brawl
01:09:30I'm a walking, talking, wrecking ball
01:09:32So run, run, run as fast as you can
01:09:37So run
01:09:39Just run
01:09:41I said run
01:09:43Better run and hide as fast as you can
01:09:48I'm out of blood, it's your last stand
01:09:52Tell me wrong, gotta pay the price
01:09:55Time to be the piper, time to fly
01:09:57So run, run, run as fast as you can
01:09:59So run
01:10:02So run
01:10:04Just run
01:10:05I said run
01:10:07So run
01:10:10Just run
01:10:12I said run
01:10:14So run
01:10:16Just run
01:10:25Yeah
01:10:27Cool
01:10:46So run
01:11:03Grazie a tutti.
01:11:35Grazie a tutti.
01:12:01Grazie a tutti.