- 2 days ago
Desperate Housewives S05E06
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00:00Previously on Desperate Housewives...
00:02We had an agreement to keep things casual.
00:04Susan made her feelings clear.
00:06So, if I was with another woman, that wouldn't bother you?
00:08No, it wouldn't.
00:09You work here?
00:11Great with food. I understand business.
00:14Brie made Orson a partner.
00:16Is she still asking you questions about me?
00:18A few.
00:18And Dave took steps to get Karen McCluskey out of the way.
00:22You think you can screw with me?
00:25Karen!
00:26Stop me doing that.
00:32As a masseur for the Fairview Country Club,
00:36Carlos Solis had become an expert on how to make women happy.
00:42That's why he always had scented candles waiting for Sue Bridges.
00:49New Age music for Betsy Daniel.
00:53And apple schnapps for Shannon Glenn.
00:59Yes, Carlos had made a lot of women happy over the years.
01:05But on one very unusual Wednesday afternoon,
01:11he made Mrs. Virginia Hildebrand a little happier than he intended.
01:25Helen said your last reservation just canceled.
01:27You want a ride home?
01:28Thanks, Clay. That'd be great.
01:31Can I ask you something?
01:32How long have you been a masseur?
01:3514 years.
01:35Okay, and in all those years, have you ever accidentally given a woman an orgasm?
01:43An orgasm?
01:44Keep your voice down. You want to get me fired?
01:46How do you accidentally give a woman an orgasm?
01:49I don't know.
01:51I can barely give my girlfriend one.
01:52And I try really hard.
01:56All I did was touch her back.
01:58Are you sure?
01:59Some of these old broads, their bodies drop.
02:02Not everything's where it's supposed to be.
02:04I may be blind, but my sense of touch is just fine.
02:08Well, maybe she just really liked the massage.
02:10You wouldn't believe the moaners I get on my table.
02:12I'm telling you, her body was quivering.
02:15She could barely breathe.
02:16All right, well, there's one surefire way to find out.
02:18Where's your tip envelope?
02:20On the counter.
02:25How much do you leave me?
02:29Enough for two orgasms.
02:34Yes.
02:36Carlos Solis was an expert on how to make women happy.
02:41I'm about to go get groceries.
02:42What are your tips?
02:48Oh, my God.
02:49How did you get so much?
02:50And he knew the best way to keep his wife happy...
02:54Just good at my job.
02:58Mwah!
03:00...was to lie.
03:13There are dangerous women in this world, devious predators waiting to strike.
03:20You can spot them by the lipstick they use, the shoes they wear, and the perfume they choose.
03:29But the easiest way to spot a dangerous woman is to see how she behaves.
03:36I'm about to make you so happy.
03:39With another woman's husband.
03:42Amy, don't worry about the lunch specials. I'm only two blocks away. I'll take care of it once I...
03:52Actually, you do them. I'm going to be a while.
03:58Tom?
04:02Lynette, hey. What are you doing here?
04:05So funny. I was going to ask you the same question, but I was going to start with, what the
04:10hell?
04:10You remember Ann, right? Ann Schilling.
04:13Kirby's mom.
04:15We were room parents together in the third grade.
04:18Right.
04:21So, what the hell?
04:24Tom, why don't we just show her?
04:34It's for my band. Ann has been helping us find a rehearsal space.
04:41Oh, that's right. You're a realtor.
04:43Now, I know what you were thinking. It seems like a waste of money.
04:46But I just got them to reduce the rent and throw in the utilities.
04:50And you're always complaining about the noise when we practice in the garage, so, you know...
04:56What do you think?
04:59I think it's great.
05:02You do?
05:03Yeah.
05:05Wonderful.
05:06Yeah.
05:06Listen, I have to be somewhere by 10, so why don't we sign a lease right now?
05:12Wow.
05:13I was convinced that you would think it was a dumb idea.
05:17Well, it's a little dumb, but compared to what I was thinking...
05:22What were you thinking?
05:24Well, it's just...
05:27I saw you two together.
05:28I...
05:29I didn't know that you were...
05:30And she looks so...
05:35For God's sakes, Tom, the woman has to be somewhere.
05:37Just sign the damn lease.
05:41So, out of nowhere, Jackson says, let's move in together.
05:45I mean, of course, I was stunned.
05:47And then when I said no, he just broke up with me.
05:50I mean, does he really expect me to be in love after just five months?
05:54That's crazy.
05:56Yeah, I guess.
05:57Although his work on these moldings is amazing.
05:59You really want me to repaint these, Suzanne?
06:02It's Susan, and he was the first one to say he didn't want to get serious, which is why I
06:06was happy.
06:07We were just having fun.
06:08Well, maybe you should call him.
06:10How do you like this color?
06:12Not so much.
06:13Frank, how can I call him?
06:15He's the one that ended it with me.
06:18If the guy makes you happy...
06:21He says he loves you.
06:24You gonna let pride stop you from finding out where this thing could go?
06:29Come on.
06:31Don't be stupid.
06:37How much am I paying you?
06:39$14 an hour.
06:41That's not enough.
06:44No, ma'am, it's not.
06:52Carlos, what are you doing home?
06:55Virginia insisted on giving me a ride.
06:57You must be Gabrielle.
06:59Carlos has told me so much about you.
07:01I'm Virginia Hildebrand.
07:03Oh, you are the Mrs. Hildebrand.
07:06Well, you're Carlos' favorite client.
07:09Well, mine anyway.
07:11I bought the stop with that crazy tip you gave him.
07:14Your Carlos has helped my back problems like no masseur I have ever had.
07:17I'm pain-free for the first time in years.
07:21Oh, that's Carlos for you, Mr. Magic Hands.
07:24He hits the old sweet spot every time.
07:27Okay, Gabby.
07:28I should go now, but promise you'll at least consider my little proposal.
07:33What proposal?
07:34I hate to stop when we're making so much progress,
07:37but I need to go to Europe for two months, mostly London and Rome.
07:41I'd be so grateful if Carlos would accompany me as my personal masseur.
07:47Two whole months?
07:48See, I told you.
07:49It's too long, and Gabby has the girls, and...
07:51I know it's a lot to ask, which is why I'm offering Carlos $50,000.
07:57$50,000?
07:58Per month.
08:00Well, pip-pip and a river dirty.
08:02Gabby.
08:03I'll leave you two to discuss it.
08:04Well, what's to discuss?
08:06For that kind of money, you can lock them in a cage and feed them peanuts.
08:10I'll see you tomorrow, Carlos.
08:11Lovely meeting you, Gabby.
08:16Carlos, don't even think about saying no to this.
08:18She is not my only client.
08:19I'll be letting down the rest if I go.
08:21Mr. Banks could even fire me.
08:22Oh, don't worry about Mr. Banks.
08:23I'll take care of him.
08:24Gabby!
08:25Oh, and so what if he fires you?
08:27Once Virginia tells all of her rich lady friends about what you did for her,
08:30they'll be lining up around the block.
08:34Great.
08:41Hey, great news.
08:43I just got a call from my old friend, Peter Hickey.
08:45I don't recall ever hearing that name before.
08:48He's a friend from college.
08:49Anyway, he mentioned that his parents' 50th anniversary was next month,
08:53and I convinced him to let us cater it.
08:55Dinner for 80.
08:5780?
08:57He shoots, he scores!
08:59Orson, you are amazing!
09:03One week on the job and he's already bringing in huge accounts.
09:08Great.
09:09Well, better go marinate the scallops for lunch tomorrow.
09:13Oh, scallops?
09:14Done.
09:16Done?
09:17Hmm.
09:18Oh, I also made the pesto mayonnaise,
09:20and I put the individual cobblers in their ramekins.
09:22Oh, well, it looks like we're all set until the morning then.
09:25Hey, why don't you, uh, take the afternoon off?
09:28And do what?
09:29I don't know.
09:30Read, relax, give yourself a pedicure.
09:32Fine.
09:36Why do you bet I'd take my socks off and see Orson's already done it for me?
09:46What are you doing?
09:48The refrigerator needs cleaning.
09:50No, it doesn't.
09:52And besides, I gave you the day off.
09:54Now go home.
09:56I'm thinking about moving to Maryland.
09:59Maryland?
10:00Mm-hmm.
10:01Dylan's there with her husband, and the baby's coming soon.
10:04Maybe it's time for me to go inflict myself on them.
10:06You can't just up and move.
10:08You have a life here.
10:09No, I don't.
10:09I have a job, period.
10:12No kids to raise, no husband, no boyfriend.
10:15Might as well throw in the towel and go be a grandma.
10:19Catherine, you are a vibrant, attractive woman.
10:22You hasn't had sex in two years.
10:24That spells grandma to me.
10:30I haven't made up my mind yet.
10:31Just let me think about it.
10:33It helped keep me busy.
10:37When you're done with that, the oven could use a really good scrubbing.
10:40Bless you.
10:48Karen?
10:50Oh, those must have set you back a chunk.
10:54Yes, they did.
10:55Not that you deserve them.
10:58I don't blame you for being mad.
11:02I'm not mad.
11:04I'm furious.
11:06And what the hell were you thinking, coming up my husband with a baseball bat?
11:10I know.
11:11I'm really sorry, Edie.
11:13The doctor had me on these new meds, and it made me loopy.
11:16I thought Dave was messing with my head, and all the time it was the damn pills.
11:21Well, I hope you stopped taking them.
11:23You bet.
11:24I had to get my marbles back.
11:28Look, I know you just got here, but I am so sleepy.
11:31Of course.
11:33I'll see you when you get home.
11:39Actually, I'm going to call my sister and see if I can stay with her for a while.
11:43I don't think I should be on my own just yet.
11:46Okay.
11:47Then I'll see you whenever.
11:50Oh, be sure and tell Dave how sorry I am.
11:54He will be so glad.
11:56He's really fond of you, you know.
12:10Hey, sis, it's Karen.
12:12Do me a favor and get your sorry ass over to Fairview Memorial Hospital ASAP.
12:16I need you big time, kiddo.
12:29Come in.
12:32Hi, I'm looking for Orson Hodge.
12:34I'm Peter Hickey.
12:35Oh, yes, of course.
12:37I'm his wife, Bree.
12:39I'm afraid he's out running errands, but he's told me all about you.
12:42Oh?
12:43Yes, he said you were roommates back in college.
12:47Yes, we were.
12:49Anyway, my parents' 50th anniversary is coming up,
12:52and I thought I'd surprise them with a family reunion.
12:55What a thoughtful son you are.
13:05So, uh, have you given any thought to the venue?
13:09Uh, yes, I have a summer place up in Lake Pleasant.
13:11I'm pretty sure the terrace fits eight tables of ten.
13:14My, that's a nice little terrace.
13:16Well, we will throw you a party so special
13:18that you'll want us to cater your anniversary, too.
13:22Actually, I'm not married.
13:24Oh.
13:27Well, let's talk about food.
13:30With a new client, what I usually do is discuss possible menus,
13:33and then I have my very best chef prepare a sample dinner.
13:39Sample dinner?
13:40We don't do sample dinners.
13:43But this is Orson's college roommate.
13:47And he's quite the catch.
13:49Oh, wait a minute.
13:51Is this a setup?
13:52Because I loathe blind dates.
13:53Well, that's what's so great about it.
13:55Technically, it's a business dinner.
13:56It has all the potential upside of a date
13:58while still being tax deductible.
14:02Fine.
14:03I will cook for the man.
14:05But I am not going to get dressed up,
14:07I am not going to put on makeup,
14:08and I am not going to flirt.
14:10He came while Orson was out.
14:12I let him record a message on my phone.
14:18Orson, sorry I missed you, buddy.
14:21Catch you next time, okay?
14:24You realize you could have just led with this
14:25and saved us this whole discussion?
14:27Oh, jeez, Roberta.
14:36Put that damn thing out.
14:38You're not in a corner saloon.
14:39Then how come there's bourbon in my coffee?
14:42Do I have to call on her?
14:43Fine.
14:44I drove 80 miles to see you, Karen.
14:46You better be dying or you're going to pay for my gas.
14:48I'm not dying, but there's someone who sure wishes I was.
14:51Son of a bitch landed me in here.
14:54You tell me where to find him.
14:55I'll clean his damn clock.
14:57No, we've got to be careful with this guy.
14:59He's dangerous.
15:01That's what you said about that biker in Florida
15:03who now has to puree all his food?
15:07Nellie forgot about him.
15:09That was a fun vacation.
15:13So what do you need me to do?
15:14Let me come stay with you when I get out of here.
15:17This guy thinks I'm out of commission
15:19and I want to keep it that way.
15:20And you can help me do some digging.
15:22You still work for that cell phone company, the...
15:25Tellashore.
15:25Yes, God help me.
15:27Good.
15:28Pull those records and see what turns up.
15:30The name is Dave Williams.
15:32How do you know he's with Tellashore?
15:34I went through his mail.
15:37God, you remind me of mom.
15:42So what else you need?
15:44Could you smuggle me on a cold brewski?
15:52Boy, no one knows you like family.
16:05Jackson, it's me.
16:12Hello?
16:20That'll work.
16:35That'll work.
16:37pergi.
16:58He's just waiting for you.
17:07Don't ask any other options,
17:08Are you okay?
17:10I think so.
17:12Good.
17:14So who the hell are you?
17:17Darcy.
17:18Who the hell are you?
17:20Susan, Jackson's girlfriend.
17:22He never said anything about a girlfriend when we hooked up at the club.
17:26Well, when guys go slut hunting, they tend not to play the girlfriend card.
17:32Did you just call me a slut?
17:33You met the guy tonight. Now you're in the shower. I'm just doing the math.
17:37I got the pizza.
17:39Oh, crap.
17:41So we break up and 15 minutes later you're with someone else.
17:45You got over me fast.
17:47Surprised it took 15 minutes.
17:49Stay out of this.
17:50Susan, why are you here?
17:52I wanted to talk about our future.
17:56You said you didn't want a future.
17:58Well, I was starting to change my mind.
18:01And then I show up and find five feet of lip gloss in the shower.
18:07I brought hot wings.
18:08You're not getting any.
18:15Hey, what's that for?
18:16Well, I was going to use it to wash down a bottle of sleeping pills the next time your husband's
18:20band defiled another rock classic.
18:23But since you got them our rehearsal space, I thought we could share it over ice.
18:27Come on in.
18:31We're taking off. Remember, I'm spending the night at Kirby's house.
18:34Oh, right. And Kirby, tell your mom, thanks.
18:36That place she found for Tom is already paying off.
18:39Yeah, she said she was there yesterday and said it was looking pretty cool.
18:43She was there? Why?
18:44She's just dropping off some old furniture for Mr. Scavo.
18:47A couple chairs, lamp, futon.
18:50Oh.
18:52Well, see you tomorrow.
18:54Okay.
18:55Drive safely.
18:56Yeah.
18:58Um, neat or rocks?
19:00Rocks.
19:02So why does Tom need a bed in his rehearsal space?
19:06Not a bed. A futon, like a couch.
19:09That folds out to a bed.
19:10What do you say?
19:11Well, if it's just a couch, why didn't Tom tell you about it?
19:15How do you know he didn't?
19:16I don't. Did he?
19:20No.
19:23Well, good for you.
19:25Good for you for not worrying about your husband's bachelor pad.
19:28You are not the teeniest bit paranoid, and I say brava.
19:33Now, why aren't we drinking?
19:43Whoo-hoo-hoo! Not bad! I mean, we were really cooking there.
19:48Tom, you got any beer in the fridge?
19:49I got nothing but beer in the fridge.
19:52All right, everyone, go grab a cold one.
19:53You earned it. You sounded great.
19:57Oh, do we blow.
19:59Oh, yeah.
20:00Not you, though.
20:01Man, you got the heart of a real blues guy.
20:03Well, that's what five years in prison will do to you.
20:06Oh, yeah. I heard about that.
20:09Still, it's fun, isn't it?
20:11Highlight of my week.
20:13You know, uh, I was thinking maybe we should bump up our rehearsal schedule, you know, to start working the
20:18kinks out.
20:19Oh, twice a week's about all I can handle.
20:20What are you doing that's more important than this?
20:23Well, let's see. My job. My son.
20:26Uh, also, I just met this woman.
20:30Oh, no, dude. Not blowing us off for a girl.
20:32Buddy, I just started seeing her. All right, it's kind of important for the whole getting back on the horse
20:36thing.
20:37All right, what about Saturday afternoon?
20:40I mean, come on, man. We gotta do this.
20:43Why?
20:45You're putting a lot of time and effort into a neighborhood garage band.
20:49Why is it such a big deal to you?
20:52I mean, it's not. I'm just having a real good time.
20:58All right, boys, what do you say?
21:00We're gonna drink beer? We're gonna play some rock and roll.
21:10Tom, where are you?
21:12Hey, babe, we just really got into a groove at rehearsal, and I think we're gonna play for a couple
21:16more hours.
21:18Yeah?
21:19Anyway, I just want to say don't wait up for me, and I will, um, see you in the morning,
21:22okay?
21:22Okay. Bye.
21:43Oh, my God.
21:44Oh, my God.
21:48Lynette.
21:51You said you were rehearsing.
21:54I know. I know.
21:56The guys, the guys left, and I just figured I'd, uh, hang out for a little bit.
22:02Why can't you do that at home?
22:06What the hell is this?
22:08You're moving out on me?
22:11Why would I move out?
22:13So you can have your affair.
22:15You know, the one that follows the sports car and the garage band and wanting to quit your job, the
22:22final stage of your midlife crisis.
22:26Oh, and then, when I hear Ann, chilling has been dropping by.
22:31Lynette, she had a bunch of old crappy furniture in her garage.
22:35I bought it for 50 bucks.
22:37You don't really think that...
22:42Okay.
22:45These past few months when we've been fighting about the car and the road trip,
22:51part of me thought that you were just complaining to complain, trying to ruin my fun.
22:57But if it's affecting you like this, if it's making you actually think that I would hurt you in that
23:02way,
23:04I'm done with all of this.
23:08So you'll come home?
23:09Of course.
23:12Of course.
23:23Let me just square all this stuff away, okay?
23:25And then I will see you there.
23:30Good.
23:36Maybe when you come home, you could teach me how to play that video game.
23:40That'd be great.
23:42Okay.
24:03Hey, Clay.
24:04Is Mr. Banks around?
24:05Not back from lunch yet.
24:06What's up?
24:07Oh, I need to sweet-talk him into giving Carlos two months off.
24:10Oh, you two going away somewhere?
24:12No, just Carlos.
24:14Mrs. Hildebrand is taking him to Europe as her personal massage therapist.
24:19Personal massage therapist?
24:21Paying him a fortune.
24:23But he's worth it.
24:24I mean, what he's done for that woman, no one else has been able to do.
24:28So, he told you about that?
24:30They both did.
24:31You should have seen the woman.
24:33Looking at Carlos, gushing like crazy.
24:36And you're okay with them going away together?
24:39Why should I be jealous?
24:40A woman's like 60.
24:41If she gets off on Carlos' magical touch, what do I care?
24:45Yeah.
24:46Well, you're broad-minded.
24:47You know, if my girlfriend knew that my massages were giving a woman orgasms, no matter how old she was...
24:52Whoa, whoa, whoa.
24:54Nobody used the O word.
24:58He didn't mention that.
24:59No!
25:00He's giving her orgasms?
25:01No, not deliberately.
25:03He swears he's only been doing his standard massage.
25:06Oh, I bet he does.
25:08Where is he?
25:09Is she here now?
25:09Oh, no.
25:10No, she prefers her place, so she's been sending a car for him.
25:17Where?
25:18Where does she live?
25:19It's that big house on the corner of Lake and Pinehurst.
25:22I'm sorry, Gabby.
25:23Is there anything I can do?
25:25Well, when the time comes, an alibi would be nice.
25:33We need to talk.
25:35Sorry, bad time.
25:36I have the mailman upstairs in my tub.
25:40You know what?
25:41You have no right to be mad at me.
25:43I don't.
25:44Look, I try to commit to you, and you push me away.
25:47I try to move on, and I'm a shallow jerk.
25:49What the hell are you doing?
25:50I have been married twice, and both times, that's imploded.
25:55So really, I feel like love is not my friend.
26:00You know, I wish that I could say it was just rotten luck,
26:03but I just am thinking that I can't do this.
26:10You can't.
26:11I never even had a real girlfriend before I met you.
26:13I didn't want one.
26:14And the first time I try to commit, bam, I get smacked.
26:17Look, I don't even know where we are anymore.
26:21Wow.
26:26We really messed this up, didn't we?
26:32Pretty much, yeah.
26:33We just have so much baggage.
26:37I wish we could start over.
26:41Can't we start over?
26:55Can't we start over?
27:07Hello?
27:09Hi.
27:10Uh, is Susan Meyer there?
27:16May I ask his calling?
27:18This is Jackson, a Braddock.
27:21Uh, we met once.
27:22I don't know if you remember me.
27:23I have brown hair.
27:24Uh, yeah.
27:25I think I remember you.
27:27Well, anyway, I thought we really clicked,
27:29so I was wondering if you might want to have dinner with me.
27:33Okay.
27:35When?
27:36Tomorrow.
27:37I know this great Mexican...
27:39Uh, ahem.
27:40French place.
27:42Sounds great.
27:44Pick me up at seven.
27:45Great.
27:47Where do you live?
28:02May I help you?
28:03Excuse me.
28:05I am Gabriel Solis.
28:07Perhaps you know my husband?
28:09He rubs your boss.
28:11Where are they?
28:12I am under stripped instructions
28:15not to disturb Mrs. Hildebrand.
28:17You can wait here.
28:19Fine.
28:23When the cops bust up this brothel,
28:25I'm going to tell them you're the madam.
28:36Yes, that's it right there.
28:40You sure this isn't too rough?
28:43No way.
28:44Go deeper.
28:45I can take it.
28:59Hold on.
29:01I've got a quick...
29:10Carlos, I just remembered I have an important business call to make.
29:15Could you give me the room for a minute?
29:17Absolutely.
29:28Mrs. Solis, what are you doing here?
29:31I know what you've been up to, and shame on you.
29:33What are you talking about?
29:35I know about the big hole.
29:38Oh, dear, he could tell.
29:41I'm beyond mortified.
29:44I understand your concern, but I assure you it was only that one time.
29:48It's never happened again.
29:49And it never will, because if you think I'm going to let you drag Carlos off to Europe, you're nuts.
29:54I suppose I should be flattered that a woman as young and beautiful as you should see me as a
29:59threat.
30:01But it would be a shame to let it end a friendship that has come to mean so much to
30:05me.
30:05Maybe a little too much.
30:08Mrs. Solis, my husband's gone.
30:09I'm estranged from my family.
30:12If you live with loneliness long enough, it becomes an ache inside you, an actual physical pain.
30:17I thought I'd live with that pain the rest of my life.
30:20Then your husband healed me.
30:22Can you blame me for being grateful?
30:26No, but I just think we should end things before they get any weirder.
30:33Carlos tells me he used to be a fashion model.
30:36I've always had a passion for clothes.
30:39The reason I'm going to Europe is to see the couture collections in Paris and Milan.
30:44Lucky you.
30:46It's not so much fun going alone.
30:48But if I had a knowledgeable companion like you to be my guide, in fact, you could be my personal
30:57shopper.
30:59That is, if you don't mind being paid in dresses.
31:05Gosh, that's a hell of a sweet offer.
31:09But I've got the girls and, um...
31:13We'll bring them along.
31:15Think what fun we'll have dressing them up.
31:21What the hell?
31:21You're never too young to see Paris, right?
31:24I'm so glad.
31:26I can see we're going to be great friends.
31:31Carlos, I'm done with my call.
31:38I'm done with my call.
31:57Hey, hon, check this out.
31:59If it's the cat eating spaghetti, I've already seen it.
32:02It's our band logo.
32:03We're thinking of getting t-shirts made up.
32:06Blue Odyssey.
32:07Who can remember that?
32:09This was the name of my brother's band when he was in high school.
32:12You have a brother?
32:16I had.
32:17He died.
32:20Well, you never told me about him.
32:24What happened?
32:28His name was Steve.
32:31He was a great guy.
32:34Just kind of got caught up in drugs and couldn't get out.
32:38He went to prison when he was there.
32:41He was killed by another inmate.
32:45And what happened to the guy who killed him?
32:47Oh, the court ruled it self-defense.
32:50So the guy finished his time and he got out.
32:53I can't believe you've never told me about him.
32:57I mean, it might help you to talk about stuff like that.
33:04I have my own way of dealing with it.
33:10Oh, sorry I'm late.
33:12The rehearsal was awesome.
33:14They're letting me sing lead vocal on Hotel California.
33:18Oh, that's nice.
33:19Hey, was there a blue convertible parked in front of Catherine's?
33:22Yes, there was.
33:23Nice one.
33:24My God, he's still there.
33:25Who's still there?
33:26Well, Catherine's been lonely so I set her up with a client
33:28and he's been there for over four hours so you know it's going well.
33:32Good for you, my clever little matchmaker.
33:36Well, you deserve some credit too.
33:37I mean, you brought us Peter's business.
33:40Peter?
33:42Peter Hickey?
33:43Yes.
33:44You set him up with Catherine?
33:45Is that bad?
33:47Potentially.
33:48Is he gay?
33:50Ugh, I knew he had too much product in his hair.
33:53No, it's just that when I booked the anniversary party,
33:56I didn't want you to be uncomfortable around Peter,
33:58so I said we'd met in college, which is not actually the case.
34:01Well, where did you meet?
34:03Prison.
34:06Peter's a felon?
34:08But he's so refined, so handsome.
34:10To qualities that did not serve him well behind bars.
34:13My God, or so what kind of criminal is he?
34:15A killer?
34:16A rapist?
34:16Oh, no, no, no, nothing like that.
34:19They got him for organ trafficking.
34:21What?
34:21He was a surgeon.
34:22And it seems that when the opportunity presented itself,
34:25he'd harvest the odd liver or kidney from a deceased patient
34:28and then sell it on the black market.
34:30Are you telling me that I set Catherine up with a convicted grave robber?
34:34Well, you said yourself women over 40 can only be so choosy.
34:36It's not funny.
34:38I have to go warn Catherine.
34:48Catherine, hi.
34:49Is everything all right over there?
34:51Yes, everything's fine.
34:54Then why are you whispering?
34:59Peter just fell asleep.
35:01I don't want to wake him.
35:02Oh, my God.
35:04You slept with him?
35:07You can whack that finger all you like.
35:09I've got just six words for you, Brie Hodge.
35:14Thank you, thank you, thank you.
35:16Oh, I just really wish you'd taken things more slowly.
35:20Brie, you have given me the most magical night I've had since I don't know when.
35:25Are you going to make me feel bad about it now?
35:27No, I'm not.
35:30Oh, he's just so wonderful.
35:33I tell you, if I'm not careful, this guy could steal my heart.
35:38Well, if he tries, just promise you'll call.
35:51Sorry I'm late.
35:53I was sleeping so soundly, Peter didn't want to wake me.
35:58What's this?
36:00The Cosmopolitan.
36:01That's your favorite, isn't it?
36:03It's 10 a.m.
36:04I don't want to drink.
36:06You will.
36:12But these homeless people whose kidneys he bought, he at least paid them well, right?
36:19Oh, I am so, so sorry.
36:22No, it's not your fault you didn't know.
36:24I know it but myself to blame.
36:28That's it.
36:29I'm going to Maryland.
36:31You can't just move because of one bad date.
36:34You don't get it.
36:36When we started this, you were just as lonely as I was.
36:41Orson in jail, Benji gone.
36:43And I felt bad for you, but boy, was it nice to have somebody in the same boat.
36:48And then Orson got out and now he's here all the time.
36:51And I feel like you're this fun, happy, power couple.
36:58And I'm just this needy, pathetic idiot who hops into bed with the first pancreas thief who kisses her.
37:14I should be with family.
37:16And I'm not family.
37:21Catherine, all my life I wanted a sister.
37:25And now I feel like I finally have one.
37:29But we're always fighting and competing with each other.
37:33What could be more sisterly than that?
37:38I know I'm not the most demonstrative person, but I care about you deeply.
37:46And if you were to just walk out of my life, I would be very, very unhappy.
37:56Well, I wouldn't want that.
37:59Good.
38:01Good.
38:05Well, now that that's settled, let's make some pies.
38:08Okay.
38:13Can I have another Cosmo?
38:14No.
38:20Hey, is Porter still at Kirby's?
38:22Yeah.
38:23What's wrong with you?
38:24You've been antsy all night.
38:25Nothing.
38:26No, I'm fine.
38:27I'm fine.
38:30I'm fine.
38:31I'm fine.
38:32Okay.
38:32I know what it is.
38:34I have had this nagging feeling that I've forgotten something, and then I just realized,
38:38I think I left the freezer door at Scavo's open.
38:41You sure?
38:42No.
38:43That's why it's going to drive me crazy.
38:45I better go down there and check.
38:47Okay.
38:49Hurry back.
39:00I'm so glad you were able to get away.
39:03I didn't think you'd make it.
39:06Yeah.
39:07I'm glad my parents still think I'm young enough for sleepovers.
39:16Crap!
39:17It's my dad!
39:18It's my dad!
39:19It's my dad!
39:19It's my dad!
39:25It's my dad!
39:26Hi, I was just...
39:28I know what you were just.
39:33When I found this, I thought, oh, great.
39:36One of the guys in the band is having an affair.
39:38And then it hit me.
39:40Porter has a key.
39:44Where is she?
39:47Okay.
39:48Dad?
39:49Don't.
39:50She isn't wearing anything, all right?
39:53Who is she?
39:55Just some girl from English class.
39:57You don't know her.
39:58I'm going to go in the bathroom.
39:59You've got 60 seconds to get her out of here.
40:26Oh.
40:27Hey, Mike.
40:28wow look at you all dressed up oh yeah i was um kind of on a date oh how did
40:36it go
40:37pretty bad basically she just grilled me all through dinner what do i think about this what
40:42would i do if that i barely even know her i felt like i was on trial for my life
40:47oh i'm sorry i
40:49just wanted somebody nice to have a cup of coffee with i guess that's too much to ask well it's
40:54kind
40:55of late for coffee but i do have lemonade i'd settle for lemonade
41:09hey you know i know it seems like i am being hard on you but like i told you before
41:15i don't think
41:16that you are emotionally ready for sex i know what you said just making sure you heard me
41:25now go to bed okay it's late
41:34want me to put the car cover on for you first sure thanks
41:53you shouldn't be here someone might recognize your car
41:56is everything okay yeah my dad doesn't suspect anything i'm sorry if i got you in any trouble
42:03it's okay you're worth it
42:08there are dangerous women in this world some are lovers blind to the consequences of their actions
42:19some are wives enraged by the betrayal of those they trusted
42:29others are predators deviously setting traps to get what they want
42:39if you are unlucky enough to come upon one of these dangerous creatures
42:45the safest thing to do i pulled those records you asked for looks like your mr williams is keeping a
42:50little secret is run the other way
42:54the other way
43:15the other way
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