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Desperate Housewives S05E02
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00:00Previously on Desperate Housewives, lives change in five years.
00:04Some families grow, while others grow apart.
00:08So, I'll probably bring them back someday around six or so.
00:11Fine.
00:12And we find ways...
00:13It's not really a good time.
00:15...to ease the pain.
00:17Yes, in five years...
00:19Edie, is that really you?
00:20I have a husband now.
00:22...many things change.
00:23You're required to check in once a month.
00:25It was a condition of your release.
00:31All in all, Susan Meyer's boyfriend knew he had a lot going for him.
00:38He was romantic.
00:42Had a nice smile.
00:46And was consistently thoughtful.
00:50Yes, Jackson Braddock had many wonderful attributes.
00:56Sadly, a sense of timing wasn't one of them.
01:01Hello.
01:03Hi.
01:05Can I help you?
01:06I guess you could tell Susan I'm here.
01:08Okay.
01:10Uh...
01:10Who are you?
01:12Oh, I'm Mike.
01:13The ex-husband.
01:15Ah.
01:15I, uh, I take it you're...
01:17Uh, Jackson.
01:19I'm, uh, Susan's, uh...
01:22Friend?
01:23Friend.
01:23That's right.
01:25Wow.
01:26Could this be any more awkward?
01:28Well, your robe's open, so yeah.
01:32Yep.
01:32I don't know if you could be the judge.
01:34I don't know.
01:34I missed me.
01:34I'm pretty good.
01:35I got the feeling.
01:39Oh, nice.
01:40Oh, nice.
01:40Oh, nice.
01:40Oh, nice.
01:41Oh, nice.
01:42Oh, nice.
01:42Oh, nice.
01:42Oh, nice.
01:43Oh, nice.
01:44Oh, nice.
01:44Oh, nice.
01:52Hey, your ex-husband is.
01:54Mike!
01:55Uh, what's going on?
01:56I was just returning MJ's video game.
01:59He left it at my house.
02:00Oh, thanks.
02:02So I guess you met Jackson.
02:04Yeah.
02:05Nice legs.
02:06Uh, clearly this is not how I would have wanted the two of you to meet.
02:12He's, he's really a nice guy.
02:14Yeah, well, just to make sure I'm going to need to hang with him a little bit and check
02:17him out.
02:17Oh, I don't know that that's necessary.
02:20If he's sleeping in the same house as my son, I think it is.
02:23Oh, well, first off, um, MJ was at a sleepover last night, and in fact, Jackson and he haven't
02:29even met, so, uh, there's really no need for you to be hanging or checking.
02:35No, I just tell Jackson I'll pick him up here tomorrow night.
02:39Hey, hold on.
02:41You don't get to just decide these things by yourself.
02:45Do you remember how nice I was about our custody agreement?
02:49I can haul you back to court tomorrow if I'm not 100% satisfied with who you exposed my son
02:55to.
02:56Got it?
03:04Ah, I'm sorry.
03:07It's so not how I wanted to meet your ex for the first time.
03:10Well, I'll meet him for the second time.
03:12You can tell him that.
03:13He's picking you up here tomorrow night.
03:16What?
03:18I'll explain over breakfast.
03:20Did you get the paper?
03:24And that is how Jackson Braddock realized he needed better timing.
03:32Who are you?
03:34And a longer robe.
03:49If there is one thing everyone in suburbia can appreciate, it's a good neighbor.
03:55You know, the kind that helps with the last bag of groceries.
04:00Or brings over misplaced mail.
04:05Or offers to mow your lawn.
04:09Yes, everyone appreciates a good neighbor.
04:12You are so sweet to do this.
04:14I just know how tricky these bulbs can be.
04:17And no one knew this better than Dave Williams,
04:20who was determined to be the best neighbor Wisteria Lane had ever seen.
04:28Assuming, of course, his wife didn't get in the way.
04:34What's going on?
04:34Packing our bags.
04:36Karen McCluskey insulted me again, and I can't put up with it anymore.
04:40All right, what did she say to you this time?
04:41Nothing.
04:42Doesn't matter.
04:43We are moving.
04:45Adults don't pack up and move because of some good-natured teasing.
04:49She said that my breasts were a triumph of German engineering.
04:52You call that good-natured?
04:54Come on, she's a cranky old lady.
04:56It's not just her, it's all of them.
04:58I mean, it's been five years.
05:01I have changed.
05:02But the people on this street don't care.
05:04To them, I will always be a joke.
05:09I'm sorry you had a bad day.
05:12Please don't use your motivational voice.
05:14I really hate that.
05:16You're upset, and you're tired.
05:18Why don't you take a nice hot shower, and I'll make us some lunch.
05:24Does that sound good?
05:30I just never understood it.
05:33We could have got and lived in any city in this country.
05:39Why did you insist on living here?
05:42Because we can be happy here.
05:44You just need to give it some time.
05:48I promise.
05:49I'll personally see to it that people start treating you with a little more respect.
05:55You didn't answer my question.
05:58Didn't I?
06:14Carlos, we got invited to Michelle Downing's party.
06:18I'm going to have to buy something nice.
06:21Gabby, I'm giving a massage.
06:24I can see that.
06:25I can see a lot of things.
06:26Things that can never be unseen.
06:29Sorry.
06:30I guess the towel must have ruined it.
06:35Carlos, kitchen.
06:36Now.
06:39I know you don't like it when I work down here, but he couldn't get up the stairs.
06:43He's got a bum hip.
06:44He's also missing a testicle.
06:47Carlos, how much more of this am I supposed to take?
06:49Okay, okay.
06:50Maybe I can set up my table in the garage.
06:51No, that's only part of the problem.
06:54Have you checked our bank balance lately?
06:58Gabby, I am not taking the country club job.
07:00Why not?
07:01You be massaging rich people.
07:02They tip better and they tend to flake less.
07:05Yeah, but I like working here.
07:07I get to spend lots of time with you and the kids.
07:09Carlos, I don't need to spend lots of time with you.
07:11And frankly, the kids are on the fence.
07:13Gabby.
07:13Bottom line, I miss our life.
07:15I miss shopping.
07:17All I have to look forward to is the occasional invitation to a fancy party.
07:21And I can't even afford a dress to go to it.
07:24Carlos, please, I'm begging you.
07:26Fine, I will take the job.
07:32Sorry.
07:38Ah, no.
07:44Come on, I really don't think Mike's going to care what shirt I wear.
07:47Well, I do.
07:48We need a shirt that says I'm a responsible citizen, not my favorite clothing store also sells bongs.
07:55Are you dissing my sense of style?
07:58Absolutely.
08:00Put this on.
08:02Now, let's talk about acceptable topics of conversation.
08:06You like sports, right?
08:08Yeah.
08:08I'm a huge soccer fan.
08:09No, you're not.
08:10You like football.
08:11American football.
08:12Specifically the Colts.
08:14Okay.
08:14And here's some other things you can talk about.
08:16Cars, barbecue, fishing.
08:18How about fire?
08:20Mike liked dog fire.
08:21Jackson, please take this seriously.
08:24I am.
08:24I'm just, I'm not going to pretend to be somebody I'm not.
08:27He doesn't like me.
08:28What's he going to do?
08:29He could take me to court.
08:30And the judge could make me choose between you and my son.
08:33And I'm sorry, you will lose.
08:38Peyton Manning is the greatest quarterback who ever lived.
08:45Now, go shave.
08:47You look like a hobo.
08:55Hey.
08:58You got a sec?
08:59Not really.
09:01So, I assume you know about what happened to Jimmy Conrado?
09:06I guess.
09:08Your friend gets busted for dealing drugs at school,
09:11and all you have to say is, I guess?
09:13He's not my friend.
09:14What are you talking about?
09:16You run the same little league team.
09:17Yeah, like a million years ago.
09:19Anything else?
09:23No.
09:25Not really.
09:31Hey.
09:32Parker.
09:33Can I ask you something?
09:35It's just between us.
09:37Does Porter hang out with Jimmy Conrado?
09:39I don't know.
09:40I could check his friends list on Silver Fizz.
09:42His what on what?
09:46It's like MySpace.
09:47You have a web page.
09:48It shows your hobbies, your favorite music,
09:50and you can talk to people.
09:52Really?
09:54Can anyone talk to him?
09:55Yeah.
09:56He just has to invite you.
09:58And, uh,
10:00how would somebody make that happen?
10:06Now, it's just a mock-up,
10:07but this is what the book is going to look like.
10:10Mom, that's fantastic.
10:12Good call on the font.
10:14Thank you, dear.
10:17Orson, what do you think?
10:19Well, I think it's strange to see my wife
10:21billed as Mrs. Vandekamp.
10:23Well, you knew what the book was going to be called.
10:25Yes, but it's different actually seeing it.
10:27I mean, is it too late to go with Mrs. Hodge?
10:30My company, which I formed when we were separated,
10:32is called Mrs. Vandekamp's Catering.
10:35It's how I'm known.
10:36Oh, in Fairview.
10:37But this book will be national.
10:39I mean, it's your chance to rebrand yourself.
10:42Is there something wrong with Hodge?
10:46I think I just heard the milk go bad.
10:48I should check.
10:50Orson, I adore you, but your name,
10:53our name,
10:54it has no music.
10:56Vandekamp trips off the tongue.
10:58Hodge,
10:58sounds like the noise a plunger makes.
11:01That's preposterous.
11:02Listen,
11:04Vandekamp,
11:05Hodge.
11:06Also,
11:07she's got a radio interview Wednesday,
11:08and they're already promoting her as Mrs. Vandekamp.
11:10See,
11:11the ship has already sailed.
11:13Oh, don't be hurt.
11:14It's my professional name.
11:16In this house,
11:16I will always be Mrs. Hodge.
11:18Now,
11:19would it help if Mrs. Hodge
11:22cooked you your favorite pot roast tonight?
11:25Yes,
11:26I guess it would help.
11:28A meeting with your publicist?
11:30Oh, right.
11:32Um,
11:33tomorrow,
11:33for sure.
11:39Vandekamp.
11:43Hodge.
11:51Here you go.
11:52Oh, thank you.
11:54Toby, get off my chair.
11:55You know better.
11:56Meow.
11:58So,
11:58what's on your mind?
11:59It's Edie.
12:00You said something to her yesterday
12:02that hurt her feelings.
12:04That thing about her breasts?
12:06Come on,
12:06it was a joke.
12:07Perhaps.
12:08But it upset her so much
12:09that she suggested
12:11we leave Wisteria Lane.
12:12I can't have that,
12:13Mrs. M.
12:14Hey,
12:14this is what Edie and I do.
12:16We tease each other.
12:17I say she's easier to get into
12:19than community college.
12:20She says my face looks like a knee.
12:23It's fun.
12:24Still,
12:25I would consider it a personal favor
12:27if you'd apologize to her.
12:29You know,
12:30make her feel accepted
12:31and loved.
12:34No.
12:37No.
12:37If Edie wants to change
12:39the way we talk to each other,
12:41she's got to ask me personally.
12:42And I think you've got a lot of gall
12:44making me feel like
12:45I did something wrong
12:47when you don't even know me.
12:50No.
12:51I know you.
12:52I'm better than you think.
12:54Oh, really?
12:55For starters,
12:57you talk to your cat
12:58like it's a person.
12:59When I knocked on your door,
13:01you immediately invited me in.
13:03It doesn't take a genius
13:05to see that
13:06you're lonely.
13:10I'm thinking you had people
13:11in your life at one time.
13:14People who cared about you.
13:17But something happened to them.
13:19Some probably died.
13:20The rest, well,
13:21they just don't come around
13:22much anymore.
13:24Why do you think that is?
13:29I know you,
13:30Mrs. McCluskey.
13:31And it seems to me
13:32that a woman like you
13:35would like to keep
13:35the few friends
13:36that she has left.
13:39I think you'd better go.
13:40I don't know.
14:10Hey, thanks for tonight.
14:11And, uh, before I forget, the Colts suck.
14:15Oh, here's what sucks.
14:16Watching a 0-0 game with no cheerleaders.
14:19Soccer boy.
14:25You guys were insulting each other.
14:27That's good, right?
14:28We had a blast.
14:29Really?
14:29Yeah.
14:30In fact, we're getting together Wednesday night at O'Brien's,
14:32which he claims has the best bacon potato skins in town.
14:36Potato skins at O'Brien's?
14:37You've made his inner circle.
14:39This is fantastic.
14:42Aw, you can think of a more creative way to thank me than that.
14:47Mm.
14:50Mm.
14:53Mm.
14:54Oh.
14:55Mm.
14:57Nice.
14:58Yeah.
14:59Mm.
15:00Oh, wow.
15:02You've never done that before.
15:07Why are you doing that now?
15:10I don't know.
15:12Don't you like it?
15:13Yeah.
15:14But how did you know I would like it?
15:18Oh, my God.
15:20What?
15:23Mike told you about the ear thing, didn't he?
15:25No.
15:26So you just happen to stumble across my secret turn-on the same night that you and Mike became
15:32BFFs.
15:33But aren't we losing sight of the fact that you like it?
15:35But aren't we losing sight of the fact that you like it?
15:36This is...
15:36I mean, I'm just...
15:38I have been violated.
15:40Oh, honey, come on.
15:41Don't touch me.
15:42Or my ears.
15:43My ears are dead to you.
15:44It just slipped out.
15:46We were talking about how girls, they all like different things, right?
15:49And I was talking about this girl in high school and how she liked to do it with her
15:52shoes on.
15:52And Mike talked about the lobe nibble.
15:55He has a name for it.
15:58Okay.
15:59That's it.
16:00You and Mike are not hanging out anymore.
16:02And this little Wednesday potato skins and Susan's sex tips night?
16:08I forbid it.
16:14Did Mike mention he likes having his toes sucked?
16:16Oops!
16:16That just slipped out.
16:26Gabby?
16:27Bree!
16:28What's up?
16:31Well, um, Michelle Downing asked me to speak to you.
16:34I don't know if you heard, but I'm catering her birthday party.
16:36I heard.
16:37I can't wait.
16:38Oh, I was gonna ask you, should I wear the navy blue Chanel or the red sleeveless dress?
16:42You can't come.
16:45Sorry.
16:46I just had to rip the band-aid off.
16:49What?
16:50She's disinviting me?
16:52It's not personal.
16:53You know how Carla's just started at the club.
16:55Well, her guests are all members and she thinks they might find it awkward socializing
17:00with...
17:01staff.
17:02She called us staff?
17:04Oh, Gabby, it's just one party.
17:06I'll save you some cake.
17:07No!
17:08It's not just one party.
17:09It's a kickoff to the whole social season.
17:11If people see we're off Michelle's list, then we'll be off everyone's.
17:14And then it's gonna be the start of our slow slide from gowns and galas to flip-flops and
17:19giggers.
17:23Okay, if Carlos working at the club is the problem, then tell her he just quinked.
17:28Oh, hon, I don't think that's gonna fly.
17:30He's already rubbed too many members.
17:36What's happened in my life?
17:37We used to have help.
17:39Now we are the help.
17:44Hey.
17:45Hey.
17:47What are you doing?
17:49I am just talking to Porter on Silver Fizz.
17:55Who is Sarah J. from MacArthur High School?
17:59Me?
18:00I'm 16.
18:01Cute.
18:02I like graphic novels in Tokyo Police Club.
18:04Oh, my God.
18:05You're pretending to be somebody else?
18:07Our brooding son has a classmate who got arrested for selling drugs.
18:11I really think the end justifies the means here.
18:14Okay.
18:15We'll address your major ethical breach in a moment.
18:20What did you find out?
18:21Well, the good news is he really doesn't hang out with Jimmy Conrado.
18:25But I am a little worried about Anita 47 who told him cherry fruit pops are an aphrodisiac.
18:34Okay, great.
18:36You know who he hangs around with.
18:37Now you got what you came for.
18:38Time to stop.
18:40You're probably right.
18:41It's just...
18:43Did you know Porter writes poetry?
18:47Serious?
18:48Yeah.
18:48Our Porter, the kid who communicates with grunts and shrugs, writes this beautiful, heart-wrenching poetry.
19:00Maybe one day he'll share it with you instead of your fantasy alter ego.
19:05Until then, shut it off.
19:07Okay.
19:08Okay.
19:09You're right.
19:11You're right.
19:18Someone.
19:47Anyway.
19:48Oh, really?
20:09Oh, that's sweet.
20:23Still talking to Poetry Girl?
20:25Bite me.
20:27Dude, she didn't put up her photo.
20:29Five bucks says she looks like she came out of an egg.
20:34Whatever.
20:37Toby!
20:40Toby!
20:42Toby!
20:45Everything all right, Mrs. M?
20:48It's Toby.
20:48I can't find him.
20:50Oh, no.
20:51How did he get out?
20:52The living room window was open,
20:54which is bizarre because I don't remember opening it.
20:57Can you help me find him?
21:00Have you given any more thought about apologizing to Edie?
21:03She's still pretty down in the dumps.
21:07I kind of been busy.
21:09Of course you have.
21:10It's just that,
21:12well, since I'm about to help you find your cat,
21:14it sure would be nice if you could help me out with Edie.
21:18Doesn't that seem fair to you?
21:21I guess.
21:24Here.
21:31Toby!
21:33Toby!
21:34Bear boy!
21:37Toby!
21:38So they'll finish with the news,
21:40do a quick traffic update,
21:41and then we're on the air.
21:43Do you need anything?
21:44No, I'm good.
21:46How do I look?
21:47We're on the radio.
21:50Oh.
21:51I'm a little bit nervous.
21:52This is my first national interview,
21:54and I am a huge fan of your cookbooks.
21:57Well, I've heard good things about you.
21:59I understand you're catering Michelle Downing's birthday dinner tonight.
22:03Oh, you know Michelle?
22:04Yes.
22:05And I'll be there.
22:06I can't wait to see what you dish up.
22:08Okay, now I'm terrified.
22:13Here we go.
22:15Good afternoon.
22:16I'm Linda Flanagan,
22:17and this is Gourmet Americana.
22:20If you've been to Fairview's best parties,
22:22then you've probably tasted the mouth-watering food
22:24dished up by my first guest,
22:26Brie Vandekamp.
22:27Now, she's about to publish her first book,
22:29Mrs. Vandekamp's Old-Fashioned Cooking.
22:32Welcome, Brie.
22:33Hi, Linda.
22:34Tell me, why old-fashioned?
22:36Well, I think a lot of people miss the way life used to be,
22:40back when women had more time to cook.
22:42It's always been important to me to have the family gather around the table
22:45every night for hot, lovingly prepared meals.
22:49So you're a traditional kind of gal.
22:51Is there a Mr. Vandekamp?
22:55No, Mr. Vandekamp is deceased.
22:59But in regards to my husband,
23:01I should make one thing very clear.
23:04His passing had nothing to do with my cooking.
23:13Hey.
23:15Is that my Yates book?
23:17I love his poetry.
23:18Yeah, I'm borrowing it for school.
23:20Ah.
23:22This is the kind of poetry that melts a girl's heart.
23:25It's so romantic.
23:27Oh, here's a great one.
23:29The lover tells of the rose in his heart.
23:32My first boyfriend gave me this poem.
23:35I was a junior and...
23:36Mom, I'm running late.
23:37Can I have the book back?
23:38Oh.
23:39Sorry.
23:45Enjoy.
23:51Catherine, it is not too late to change tonight's menu.
23:55If Linda Flanagan likes my food,
23:57she might give me a quote for the book jacket.
23:59I have to knock her socks off,
24:01and I am not betting the farm on Haddock.
24:04Argue with me all you like.
24:06I just bought 40 pounds of pork,
24:07so get your tushy over here.
24:11Orson, did you get my message about Linda Flanagan?
24:14Yes, I heard.
24:15Isn't it amazing?
24:17Mm.
24:17Almost as amazing as my on-air death notice.
24:21What?
24:22So, Bree, do you have a husband?
24:24Nope.
24:25Used to.
24:25He croaked.
24:26She didn't ask if I had a husband.
24:29She asked if there was a Mr. Vandekamp,
24:30and there's clearly not.
24:32There's a Mr. Hodge.
24:33Would it have killed you to have mentioned me?
24:36And waste valuable air time?
24:38The show was about my cookbook,
24:39not about my torture of marital history.
24:41That's not what this is about.
24:43It's because I went to jail, isn't it?
24:46Orson,
24:47I have six hours to prepare a meal for 80 people.
24:50We're not having this discussion now.
24:52Just admit it.
24:53You're ashamed of me.
24:55Should I be proud?
24:57Do you want me to go on the radio
24:58and boast that my husband served time
25:00for running someone over?
25:01I went to jail because you told me
25:03it was the only way you'd take me back.
25:05And because it was the right thing to do.
25:09I just didn't know, then,
25:10that I would be a public figure someday,
25:13but I am.
25:13I have a name now.
25:15And luckily for you, it's not mine.
25:19Orson,
25:20please don't be hurt.
25:22I am under so much pressure
25:23and so terrified I'll fail
25:25that I don't even know what I'm saying half the time.
25:28Just let me get through this.
25:30As soon as the plates go out tonight,
25:32I will come home and cook you that pot roast
25:35I promised, okay?
25:39Okay.
25:40Okay.
25:43It's just that I...
25:45Chives!
25:46How could I forget chives?
25:58Hey, Susan.
26:00It's me.
26:01Listen, I'm not going to be able
26:02to make dinner tonight.
26:04My college roommate's in town
26:06and this is the only night
26:07we can get together.
26:08Oh.
26:09It's just been a really long time.
26:09Is his name Mike Delfino?
26:11Did you room together
26:12at Liars College?
26:14I know it's last minute
26:15and I'm really sorry,
26:16but I still want to see you,
26:17so how about I drop by later?
26:20Call me.
26:20That's a problem.
26:22Yeah, you'll drop by later
26:24with potato skins on your breath,
26:26you miserable two-timer.
26:29What's on, Mom?
26:32Nothing.
26:32Just the answering machine lied
26:35to Mommy.
26:48Oh, crap on things.
26:52Crap on what things?
26:56Um...
26:59Porter sent me a sex poem.
27:02What?
27:03Why?
27:04He may be in love with me.
27:08Why would he be in love with you?
27:11Okay.
27:12Remember how you told me
27:13I should stop talking to him online?
27:15Well, of course, I didn't
27:17and I sort of told him
27:19I liked his poetry.
27:20You told a teenage boy
27:22that you liked his poetry?
27:24Geez, Lynette,
27:24why not just flash him a boob?
27:26Shh, we'll hear you.
27:28So what are you going to do?
27:29Are you going to tell him the truth now
27:30or are you going to wait
27:31until after he kills me
27:32and blinds himself?
27:33Calm down.
27:33I'm going to break it off
27:35in an email.
27:36Oh, great.
27:37Just like that?
27:38That'll kill him.
27:39I know that you have only been
27:41on the receiving end
27:42of breakup letters,
27:43but I've actually written a few
27:45and I know how to let them down easy.
27:48Dear Porter,
27:49I'm really like you
27:51but I want to see other offspring.
27:55Go away.
28:03You know,
28:03I'm kind of surprised
28:04we still made Michelle's list this year
28:06what with me working at the club.
28:07Oh, don't be silly, Carlos.
28:09We're still on everyone's list.
28:12Now, let's go.
28:13Okay.
28:19Gabby?
28:20We in the banquet hall.
28:22What's all the noise?
28:23Oh, it's justificators
28:24putting glasses and silverware
28:26on the tables.
28:27They make some racket, huh?
28:28The decorations are stunning.
28:31Especially that waterfall effect.
28:33Gabby?
28:35Bree?
28:37Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?
28:41Don't move, honey.
28:42The press is taking your photo.
28:46What are you doing here?
28:48You were disinvited.
28:49I got it all figured out.
28:51We duck inside,
28:52make sure we're seen
28:52by all the right people
28:53except Mrs. Downing,
28:55and then after about 20 minutes,
28:56we cut out.
28:56Well, I know nothing.
28:57Just keep me out of it.
29:00What is Carlos doing?
29:17Where is he?
29:19Where is who?
29:20Like you don't know, Jackson.
29:22He's not here.
29:23Really?
29:25Whose is this?
29:27I don't know.
29:28Some guys.
29:29I don't know.
29:31Well, I hope that some guy
29:35doesn't mind this.
29:37No, Susan, really, I wouldn't.
29:39Lady, what are you doing with my beer?
29:41Mary, we're not married anymore,
29:44so I don't have to protect you.
29:48I am so sorry.
29:52Miss, um, could you just
29:55please take good care of my friend?
30:02Jackson canceled on me.
30:04He said you weren't comfortable
30:05with us hanging out.
30:06He said that?
30:07And I think I said,
30:08meow.
30:10I am such a jackass.
30:12So why don't you want us
30:13hanging out?
30:15Well, I was pretty ticked off
30:16that you told Jackson
30:17about the ear thing.
30:18Oh, God, the second I said that,
30:20I wished I hadn't.
30:22I'm really sorry.
30:26Apology accepted.
30:29So if I promise to behave,
30:31can we still hang out?
30:32Because I really think
30:33it'd be good for MJ,
30:34just seeing that we're all friends.
30:37I don't...
30:38What?
30:40I'm just not comfortable
30:41with you and Jackson
30:42getting that close.
30:44Okay.
30:47It's just...
30:50I don't want him to see me
30:52through your eyes.
30:55How exactly do you think
30:56I see him?
30:58Well, those last few months
30:59we were together,
31:00the things I said to you,
31:02the way I acted,
31:04I'm not proud of the person
31:06I became.
31:07That was a bad time, Susan.
31:10We're not those people anymore.
31:13And if you could see yourself
31:15through my eyes,
31:16you'd know you got
31:17nothing to worry about.
31:25Could you please
31:26take care of this guy?
31:29He's my friend, too.
31:49Boy, I'm glad to see you.
31:52Where you been?
31:53Out.
31:54Doing some thinking.
31:57And I decided
31:59that I may have gone
31:59a little overboard
32:00about you and Mike.
32:03In fact,
32:03I think it's cool
32:05if you want to hang out
32:05with my ex.
32:07Hey, Susie Q.
32:10Just shaking the dew off
32:11the lily.
32:12And speaking of,
32:13that paint job
32:14in the guest can
32:15is nice.
32:15Kudos.
32:16What are you doing here?
32:18Well, Julie needed me
32:19to co-sign
32:20some insurance stuff
32:21for her.
32:22And I guess
32:23I lost track of time
32:24talking to crunchy
32:25granola here.
32:27Plumber to house
32:28painter in one move, Susie?
32:30Don't get dizzy
32:31climbing that social ladder.
32:32Can you leave, please?
32:34Just think,
32:35if I'd been a roofer,
32:36we might still be together.
32:37Sigh.
32:38Get out.
32:40See you around,
32:40hacky sack.
32:47So,
32:48any more exes
32:49I should know about?
32:56Don't you just love
32:58Michelle's parties?
32:59Oh, they are fun.
33:00But I enjoy my
33:01intimate lunches
33:02with Michelle even more.
33:04We have intimate lunches.
33:05We're friends.
33:06Well, you simply must
33:07come to the charity auction
33:08at Ted's Gallery
33:09next weekend.
33:10Really?
33:10We'd love to.
33:15Gabby!
33:16Well, it's the caterer.
33:19Everything is fabulous.
33:21But would you be a dear
33:22and get me some more wine?
33:23I would be happy to.
33:25I just want to make sure
33:26it's the kind you like.
33:32You're still here?
33:33Dinner is about to be served.
33:35Whose seats are you in?
33:36The Bowmans.
33:37I found out Mrs. Bowman
33:38is home with the flu.
33:39Score!
33:41How will you unclench?
33:42It'll be fine.
33:48That was Mr. Bowman,
33:49wasn't it?
33:49Yes, and I'm pretty sure
33:50that elderly woman
33:51with him was his mother.
33:52What kind of man
33:53leaves a sick wife at home
33:54to go party with Mommy?
33:55You can fix this.
33:56Just tell them
33:57that you're at the wrong table
33:58and then slip out the side door.
33:59Yes, sir.
34:00He has absolutely...
34:02That was a maitre d',
34:03wasn't it?
34:03Yes, and he appears
34:04to be checking the guest list.
34:05Which we're not on.
34:06Okay, you can fix this.
34:07Just explain you're going
34:08to a different party
34:09here at the club
34:10and that you got confused.
34:11Mrs. Downing never has to know.
34:12Right.
34:13You need to leave.
34:17That's Mrs. Downing.
34:18How am I going to fix this?
34:19At this point,
34:20I would just run off
34:21screaming into the night.
34:25Okay, well, get your hands off.
34:27Gabby!
34:29Gabby!
34:31Gabby!
34:32Poor blind bastard.
34:34I'll meet him outside.
34:43What?
34:44Hi, Edie.
34:48I just want to say
34:49I feel awful
34:50about what I said to you.
34:51You know,
34:52that crack I made
34:53the other day.
34:56Okay.
34:58That's nice of you.
35:02Are you all right?
35:04Actually, no.
35:05My cat's missing.
35:06Toby?
35:07Since when?
35:08It's been two days
35:09and he's never been out
35:10this long.
35:11Oh, I'm so sorry.
35:13I'm sure he's fine.
35:15Yeah.
35:16Well,
35:18could you tell Dave?
35:19Tell him I apologized
35:21and you and I are good, huh?
35:25I guess I could.
35:27Why do you want him?
35:27Oh, just tell him, please.
35:38I cannot believe
35:39you pulled a stone like that.
35:41What?
35:41I was just trying to salvage
35:42what's left of our social life.
35:44Now, just let it go.
35:46Start thinking about
35:46where we're going to move.
35:47This is not a joke, Gabby.
35:50I work with these people.
35:51I have to show my face tomorrow.
35:52It's humiliating.
35:53You want to know
35:54what's humiliating?
35:55Waking up one day
35:56and finding out
35:57you're invisible.
35:58Now, it's official.
35:59I've lost everything.
36:02Everything?
36:03First, our money.
36:04Then, my figure.
36:05Now, the last shreds
36:06of our social standing.
36:08We haven't lost a thing
36:10except the chance
36:11to hobnob
36:12with a bunch
36:13of unhappy snobs.
36:14What do you mean
36:15they're unhappy?
36:16They're rich.
36:18They have jewels
36:18and cooks.
36:19They use winter as a verb.
36:22I rubbed them, Gabby,
36:24and there is nothing
36:26that a blind masseur
36:27doesn't hear about.
36:28Trust me,
36:29they are every bit
36:30as miserable as I was
36:32when I was out there
36:33chasing that stuff.
36:39We have lost
36:40nothing that matters.
36:43We have a home,
36:44we have each other,
36:46we have work
36:47that supports us,
36:47and we have two
36:49beautiful little girls
36:50that love us
36:53more than ice cream.
36:58I've never been happier
36:59in my life.
37:01Are you serious?
37:03Yes.
37:04And the only thing
37:05that would make me happier
37:06is for you to realize
37:08how good we've got it.
37:18I have never talked
37:19to such a wonderful guy,
37:20but I should have told you
37:21I'm already seeing somebody,
37:23blah, blah, blah.
37:24Continue to trust your heart
37:26and your dreams
37:27will follow.
37:28Wow.
37:29Lynette,
37:30best dear John letter ever.
37:33Thanks.
37:34Except you might want
37:35to change the part
37:36where you signed it
37:37Love Mom.
37:38What?
37:39No, I didn't.
37:40Yeah, you did.
37:42Right there.
37:44You sent it?
37:45Oh, my God.
37:47Oh, my God.
37:48Oh, my God.
37:48Oh, my God.
37:49Oh, my God.
37:49Why didn't you say something?
37:51I did.
37:52You said it was great.
37:53Way to bury the lead, Tom.
37:58Tom, don't you dare.
37:59Hey, one of us needs to live
38:00to take care of the other ones.
38:01Oh, my God.
38:29Hey.
38:33And if I join you?
38:38Okay, I know what I did
38:42was unforgivable,
38:43and I am not trying
38:45to make excuses,
38:46but we used to talk
38:49all the time,
38:50and then one day
38:52it just stopped,
38:53and it killed me.
38:55I felt like I lost you.
38:58And then I was Sarah Jay,
39:00and I had you back,
39:01and we were talking again,
39:03and you were telling me things.
39:04I wasn't telling you anything.
39:07I was telling her.
39:11Okay.
39:20Well, for what it's worth,
39:22I loved our conversations,
39:24and I'm going to miss them.
39:34Me, too.
39:35Come on.
39:42Come on.
39:44Carson, you're still up.
39:46Oh, I wish you could have been there.
39:48Linda Flanagan loved my food.
39:50She said I was God's gift to the table
39:52and that I could quote her on the book jacket.
39:56Are you all right?
39:58I'm hungry.
39:59It's after midnight.
40:01Haven't you eaten?
40:01I was waiting for you.
40:03You said you'd make me pot roast.
40:05I am so sorry.
40:07I lost all track of time,
40:09and Linda had so many questions
40:11about the food.
40:12I'll make you that pot roast tomorrow, okay?
40:13No.
40:17I want it now.
40:21Now?
40:22You promised.
40:25Orson, I've been cooking all day.
40:28I'm so tired I can barely stand up.
40:30You really want me to make you a pot roast now?
40:35You promised.
41:01I'm so tired I can't eat.
41:04I'm so tired.
41:30Toby, where in the world did you come from, huh?
41:49Yes, everyone appreciates a good neighbor.
41:56You know, the kind that helps you with the groceries.
42:01But doesn't ask why is your son so moody.
42:06The type that delivers misplaced mail, but doesn't point out your wife seems discontented.
42:18The sort that offers to mow your lawn, but doesn't mention your husband seems cold.
42:29But if you're not sure the man next door is as nice as he would have you believe...
42:35Why would you bring me flowers?
42:37Because you've got a computer, and I need to find out some stuff about Edie's husband.
42:42And do everything you can to get to know him better.
42:46And do everything you can to get to know him better.
43:05You know, in the same way, don't expect to help you with your body.