The Invisible Woman (1940) is a classic sci-fi comedy that combines humor, fantasy, and unforgettable adventures. After a remarkable scientific experiment grants a young woman the power of invisibility, unexpected situations, hilarious encounters, and thrilling moments unfold. This timeless Hollywood classic remains a favorite among fans of vintage science fiction and comedy films.
This video is presented for classic film enthusiasts who appreciate the golden age of cinema.
Video source: Public Domain.
#TheInvisibleWoman #TheInvisibleWoman1940 #ClassicMovies #ClassicFilm #ClassicComedy #SciFiComedy #VintageCinema #OldHollywood #GoldenAgeHollywood #PublicDomain #RetroMovies #FantasyComedy #InvisibleWoman #BlackAndWhiteMovies #ClassicHollywood #TimelessFilms #MovieLovers #FilmHistory #VintageFilms #RizalIndraPutra
This video is presented for classic film enthusiasts who appreciate the golden age of cinema.
Video source: Public Domain.
#TheInvisibleWoman #TheInvisibleWoman1940 #ClassicMovies #ClassicFilm #ClassicComedy #SciFiComedy #VintageCinema #OldHollywood #GoldenAgeHollywood #PublicDomain #RetroMovies #FantasyComedy #InvisibleWoman #BlackAndWhiteMovies #ClassicHollywood #TimelessFilms #MovieLovers #FilmHistory #VintageFilms #RizalIndraPutra
Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:02:00Where is he?
00:02:05Get up. Get up.
00:02:07I am up.
00:02:08I was up and I've been up all night.
00:02:10I would have stayed up if you hadn't knocked me down.
00:02:12Well, I didn't know you were there.
00:02:13If you'd come in a moment later, sir, I wouldn't have been there.
00:02:15I have handed in my notice.
00:02:18Have you seen the morning paper?
00:02:19After 25 years in this household, I can't see anything, sir.
00:02:23Well, just glance at that and you'll see plenty.
00:02:27Must be spring again.
00:02:31I haven't had time to find out.
00:02:32Good morning.
00:02:33Listen to me, you extravagant girl, crazy young idiot.
00:02:36Good morning.
00:02:37Good morning.
00:02:38Ah, George, new shoes.
00:02:41No, sir.
00:02:42It's a bomb-proof shelter for my tootsies, sir.
00:02:45New shoes.
00:02:46Now, look here.
00:02:46For 40 years, I've been putting myself into a nervous breakdown, handling your family's affairs.
00:02:50But this is the last straw.
00:02:52Now, we got off easy.
00:02:54She sued for a million.
00:02:54And she got a hundred thousand.
00:02:56Cash.
00:02:57Good heavens, man.
00:02:58Doesn't anything ever bother you?
00:03:00Not nothing.
00:03:01Besides, what's the use of worrying about something that's already happened?
00:03:03Well, it won't happen again.
00:03:05I'll guarantee you that.
00:03:07You're broke.
00:03:11Definitely?
00:03:11Definitely.
00:03:13And you've got to get away from all this.
00:03:18No more girls, no more parties.
00:03:21And no more Professor Gibbs.
00:03:23Gibbs.
00:03:24You pardon me, sir, but that should have occurred long ago.
00:03:27Gibbs, that reminds me.
00:03:28He called me up this morning and asked for $3,000.
00:03:30Write him out a check, will you?
00:03:31$3,000 for that crackpot.
00:03:35You've already wasted a fortune on his silly ideas.
00:03:38And none of them are any good, excepting the rat trap.
00:03:40And then he was right at home.
00:03:41Now, you can't expect me to brush off the professor just like that.
00:03:43He's practically an heirloom.
00:03:44I inherited him from Dad.
00:03:46What has he invented in the last 10 years?
00:03:48Not a darn thing.
00:03:50Now, he's got to stop draining your bank account.
00:03:53Thousands for chemicals.
00:03:55Bulbs.
00:03:56Bulbs.
00:03:56Chemicals.
00:03:57What for?
00:03:58Well, he must be inventing something.
00:03:59But what?
00:04:01I don't know.
00:04:02I never ask him.
00:04:03Now, you sit down there and write that scatterbrained professor
00:04:05that he's had the last penny he's ever going to get from you.
00:04:11May I help you, sir?
00:04:13Oh, this makes me very happy.
00:04:14I'm sure you won't regret this move, sir, at all.
00:04:17Oh, you make it strong, sir, and I'll withdraw my resignation.
00:04:21Stop braiding down my neck.
00:04:22It's the breath of pleasure, sir.
00:04:24And perhaps a touch of garlic.
00:04:26George, are you sick?
00:04:28Me, sir?
00:04:28No, sir.
00:04:29Stick out your tongue.
00:04:34Give that to the professor.
00:04:35Thank you, sir.
00:04:56Well, what is this?
00:04:57This is Halloween?
00:05:07Professor Gibbs.
00:05:09Go away.
00:05:10Now, now, professor.
00:05:11It's only me, Mrs. Jackson.
00:05:12You will find Mrs. Jackson in the kitchen, where she belongs.
00:05:26Professor, you drank it.
00:05:29Well, it's not your indigestion this morning.
00:05:31Well, here's a note for Mr. Russell.
00:05:34Huh?
00:05:34Hey, hold this.
00:05:36Yes, this, uh, this will be the check for $3,000.
00:05:40There's no check.
00:05:42Nothing at all.
00:05:44Dear, dear, dear.
00:05:45You stay here, Mrs. Jackson.
00:05:47I've got to run into town.
00:05:48Into town?
00:05:49What'll I do with this?
00:05:50Hold it carefully.
00:05:51It might explode.
00:06:02My, my, my ad.
00:06:04My, my ad.
00:06:05I want to change it, please.
00:06:06That's fine.
00:06:07We only run a couple of thousand ads a day.
00:06:09Have you got a receipt?
00:06:11A receipt?
00:06:12A receipt?
00:06:13Would that be a little piece of paper?
00:06:15Oh, yeah.
00:06:16I seem to remember putting it in my wallet.
00:06:19I can never find my...
00:06:21Oh, here it is.
00:06:22Here, it's...
00:06:23Look, would, uh, would that be it?
00:06:26It's it.
00:06:27P-19.
00:06:31I was just going to send it through.
00:06:33That's what I call a coincidence, eh?
00:06:35A remarkable one.
00:06:37Very.
00:06:38Mm.
00:06:44Do you really want this in?
00:06:46Yes, of course.
00:06:47Unless, uh, you would like to try the experiment.
00:06:49No, no, no, no, thank you.
00:06:51Ah.
00:06:52No sense of adventure.
00:06:56Ah.
00:07:21Put yourself in the garage lazy bone
00:07:30Hey professor, what's the big idea? That car went in by itself
00:07:33A little invention of mine
00:07:36Dear me, you know, you look enough like Dick Russell to be his brother
00:07:40Oh, come out of it, prop, I am Dick Russell
00:07:43No, no, he wouldn't be going fishing and he wouldn't be up this early
00:07:47I'm sorry I couldn't send you that money, I promised
00:07:49It's not that I've lost faith in you or anything, but it's simply that I'm flat, busted
00:07:56Busted, good, wonderful, come into the lab quick
00:08:01Well, they're all open, now will you tell me what they are?
00:08:05Answers to my ad I put in the paper
00:08:06My boy, all your troubles are over, you'll make millions out of this, millions
00:08:12Millions out of what?
00:08:13Come on, come on, help me, help me pick the victim
00:08:16You know, a peculiar fellow took my ad, thought I was cuckoo
00:08:30Anything in yours?
00:08:32I'm willing to undergo experiment if you will deposit $100,000 to my account
00:08:36They all think I'm crazy
00:08:38I can't understand it
00:08:39You believe I can do it, don't you?
00:08:42Do what?
00:08:43Make people invisible
00:08:47What?
00:08:49Invisible!
00:08:50With my new machine over there, it absolutely works
00:08:53You know, I tried it on the cat
00:08:57There's the cat
00:08:58Of course there's the cat
00:09:00I only gave her a slight treatment
00:09:02It wears off after a while
00:09:05If only I could get a person to try it on
00:09:08Hey, wait a minute, listen to this
00:09:10I am willing to submit to your experiment on Friday afternoon
00:09:12Please let me know your address
00:09:14K. Carroll, 1132 North Vista
00:09:16Eureka!
00:09:17In return for all you've done for me, your fortune is made
00:09:21You are a millionaire starting tomorrow
00:09:23You mean I'll see the positive proof tomorrow?
00:09:26I mean you won't see it
00:09:29Won't see it
00:09:31Oh
00:09:34Kitty
00:09:35K. Carroll is going to join your club
00:09:41Hey, John!
00:09:42John!
00:09:43How about this inventory?
00:09:44Hang the inventory, congratulate me, man
00:09:46I'm practically a millionaire
00:09:47Have you gone mad?
00:09:48No
00:09:48Got everything packed, George?
00:09:50Yes, sir, everything
00:09:50Furniture is in order
00:09:52Silverware stored
00:09:53Trunks packed
00:09:53Pictures all covered
00:09:54That's fine, you can put everything back now
00:09:56Very good, sir
00:09:59Did you say put everything back?
00:10:00I certainly did
00:10:01We're not leaving
00:10:02We're not leaving
00:10:08Mrs. Housekeeper
00:10:09Housekeeper
00:10:10Housekeeper
00:10:12Jackson is the name
00:10:13I've been with you for 12 years
00:10:15And the name's still Jackson
00:10:18Mr. Jackson
00:10:18Tomorrow I am expecting a gentleman, Mr. K. Carroll
00:10:21Bring him right in here to me
00:10:23Don't mention a word of this to anybody
00:10:24Keep it a dead secret
00:10:26And see that this
00:10:28Is mailed to him at once
00:10:30And take a very good look at him
00:10:33Because you won't see him again
00:10:45It's the mail, Mrs. Patton
00:10:46I'll get it, I'm expecting a letter
00:10:48All right, honey
00:10:49Hello, Mr. Postman, have you got a letter for me?
00:10:51Okay, Carol
00:10:51That's it, thank you very, very much
00:10:55Oh
00:10:57Oh, have you got a fellow?
00:11:01Hooray, he's made an appointment
00:11:02Oh, then you have got a fellow
00:11:04This isn't from a fellow, Mrs. Patton
00:11:06This is the call to adventure
00:11:10What would you do if you could completely disappear?
00:11:13Oh, don't tell me that you're thinking about running out on me
00:11:15When your room rent's way past due
00:11:17Oh, I hate to bring it up, but, Tim
00:11:21After all, I've got to live, you know
00:11:23Live?
00:11:24Get up in the morning, run for the subway
00:11:26Punch the clock
00:11:26Get kicked around all day by that nasty little Mr. Growley
00:11:29Punch the clock, run for the subway, and go to bed
00:11:31Dream about the subway
00:11:32So you're gonna dream yourself out of your job
00:11:34If you don't get going
00:11:35Oh, dear, the time clock
00:11:37Bye
00:11:45Come on now, girls, hurry up
00:11:48Kitty, you're late
00:11:48You're telling me
00:11:50Someday, Doc, I'm gonna do a real punch right in the nose
00:11:57Kitty, what kept you?
00:11:58My mail
00:11:58I never get any mail
00:12:00All I get is a coat of my head
00:12:02Here, dear, you're wearing number 37
00:12:08Oh, Kitty, hurry, what are you thinking of?
00:12:10What would you do if you could become invisible?
00:12:16Kitty, do you feel all right?
00:12:18I feel as though I'm just ready to take the punch
00:12:21Hurry, Kitty, I will
00:12:23All right, all right, pay attention
00:12:27Quit daydreaming
00:12:28Now, remember
00:12:29We're not in business for your amusement
00:12:32Every minute wasted means money lost
00:12:33Every second delay keeps a buyer waiting
00:12:35Eyes front
00:12:36Chin up, shoulders back
00:12:39Where's number 37?
00:12:40We're coming right out, Mr. Growley
00:12:43All right, Carol, don't try to sneak by
00:12:45You were two minutes late this morning
00:12:47You're docked an hour's pay
00:12:48That's unfair
00:12:49I've never been late before
00:12:50And besides, two minutes is exactly one thirtieth of an hour
00:12:53Well, really, Carol
00:12:55Maybe you'd like to take up bookkeeping somewhere else
00:12:58Well, would you?
00:13:00Well, I didn't mean
00:13:01That's better
00:13:03And you?
00:13:04Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Growley
00:13:06I have a coat by head
00:13:07If you sniffle in front of the customers, you're fired
00:13:10Oh, Mr. Growley
00:13:11Suppose you mind your own business, Mrs. Bates
00:13:12There's plenty of younger women for your job
00:13:14Yes, sir
00:13:16Now I know what I'd do
00:13:18I'd kick him right in the pants
00:13:21All right, get going, everybody
00:13:26Good morning, good morning, good morning
00:13:28I'm sure you like how you show it
00:13:29How do you do?
00:13:30How do you do?
00:13:31How are you?
00:13:33Good morning, how do you do?
00:13:40This is our new dinner dress
00:13:42Smile
00:13:43Turn around and show the back, little lady
00:13:52Let me see that
00:13:54How much?
00:13:56Take it easy, will you?
00:13:58What's that?
00:13:59They tore it
00:14:00Mr. Growley
00:14:01I came here to do business
00:14:02Not be insulted
00:14:03Please, ladies, please
00:14:04Of course the girl is wrong and she'll apologize to you
00:14:07Or I shall have to dismiss her
00:14:09They tore it
00:14:10Apologize? The customer's always right
00:14:12This time the customers happen to be wrong, aren't they, girls?
00:14:15Since you three stick together so well, you can be fired together
00:14:18Or do you apologize?
00:14:25I apologize
00:14:26All right, you can go
00:14:29And now, ladies, while the little models are making their change
00:14:31I'd like to show you some new material
00:14:32Kitty
00:14:33What are you doing?
00:14:34I'm leaving
00:14:34We can't go on being stepped on like this for 1650 a week
00:14:38Doctor when we're sick, doctor when we're late
00:14:40Treated like dogs, yelled at, humiliated
00:14:42It's time one of us show Growley where he gets off
00:14:44He works for a living like all the rest of us
00:14:46It's time he behaved like a human being
00:14:48But what are you gonna do? Where are you gonna go?
00:14:50I'll be back
00:14:51And if I have any luck, nobody will see me
00:14:57Professor Gibbs, please
00:14:59Who shall I say is calling?
00:15:00Miss Growley
00:15:00I mean, Miss Carol
00:15:02I came to add
00:15:03I mean, I came in answer to an ad
00:15:04Would you tell Professor Growley
00:15:06I mean, Professor Gibbs that I'm here?
00:15:09Step in
00:15:13There's a person outside, Professor
00:15:15To see you
00:15:15About your ad
00:15:16Oh, send him in
00:15:18It's a her
00:15:21You mean skirts and things?
00:15:23Hmm, skirts and things
00:15:25Mrs. Jackson, you're letting me down
00:15:27I can't possibly perform my experiment
00:15:29Unless the subject doesn't wear it
00:15:31Hasn't any
00:15:32Is, you know, in the
00:15:34In the altogether, as it were
00:15:37What am I going to do?
00:15:38Well, how should I know?
00:15:40Dear, dear
00:15:41I can't afford to lose her
00:15:42I mean, I might never find another
00:15:44I have it, you tell her
00:15:46Tell her what?
00:15:47About the, uh, disrobing
00:15:48Tell her it's purely in the interest of science
00:15:51You know, uh, we can put her behind the screen
00:15:53And nothing could be more proper
00:15:56And, of course, during the experiment
00:15:57You'll stay right here
00:15:59Well, I don't know as I want to see folks get invisible
00:16:01Might give me a turn
00:16:03It's her or you, Mrs. Jackson
00:16:05Take your choice
00:16:06You are either victim
00:16:09Or chaperone
00:16:10All right, all right
00:16:12I'll tell her
00:16:15Be careful of this
00:16:16It belongs to my roommate
00:16:19And this, too
00:16:21Also these
00:16:24The shoes are mine, though
00:16:26She gave them to me
00:16:28May I come in?
00:16:29Yes
00:16:30We're ready for you now
00:16:33How's, uh, visibility today, Pop?
00:16:35You know, you didn't tell me that, uh, in your letter that you were a girl
00:16:39Well, I wanted to be sure it wasn't one of those for girls only propositions
00:16:42Eh, I expected a man
00:16:44But you'll do
00:16:45Uh, give me your arm
00:16:46Come on
00:16:54Ouch!
00:16:55Is that all there is to it?
00:16:56Oh, no
00:16:57You have to treat the body externally
00:17:00Well
00:17:00Well, it hurts
00:17:02Oh, but it hurts
00:17:03Not at all
00:17:04Slight tickling sensation
00:17:06Oh, good
00:17:07I don't tickle easily
00:17:12All ready to begin
00:17:17Ah
00:17:21Uh, wait a minute
00:17:22This won't make me invisible forever, will it?
00:17:24Oh, no
00:17:25Just for a few hours
00:17:26Oh, just what I want
00:17:27Go ahead, shoot
00:17:28Are you quite sure you're willing to go through with this?
00:17:31I said shoot
00:17:32Because, you know, it'll work
00:17:49It really doesn't hurt
00:17:50It really doesn't hurt
00:17:51No, but it tickles
00:17:52Oh, ha, ha, ha
00:17:54I'll say it does
00:17:55Oh, you look like a custard pie
00:17:58Am I dissolving yet?
00:18:01Uh-uh
00:18:11Look back
00:18:12She's gone
00:18:14Don't you dare come back here
00:18:16Why, something's still showing?
00:18:18Well, I can't see anything
00:18:20But, but how do I know you can't?
00:18:22Here
00:18:22Here
00:18:23Take this
00:18:24Try and take a good look at yourself
00:18:31I really am invisible
00:18:37There, Mrs. Jackson, do you see?
00:18:39No
00:18:40No, I don't
00:18:41Not a darn thing
00:18:42What shall I call dick over?
00:18:44It's a staggering success
00:18:45Yes
00:18:45Sit down, Miss
00:18:46Kitty, Kitty Carroll
00:18:48Yeah, make yourself at home
00:18:49I'll be right back
00:18:50You watch her, Mrs. Jackson
00:18:52Watch what?
00:18:56Seven years bad luck
00:18:58Now, don't you come near me, Miss
00:18:59Don't worry, cutie
00:19:01I'm going away from you
00:19:02But the professor said you were to stay here
00:19:04Oh, not me
00:19:05Ha, ha
00:19:06Growly, growly
00:19:07Here I come
00:19:09Oh
00:19:11Excuse me, sir
00:19:12The professor just phoned
00:19:13He said would you come over right away
00:19:15He said to tell you that he has done it
00:19:17That's great
00:19:17Oh, wait, just a minute
00:19:18No, I can't
00:19:19I gotta go over and not see somebody
00:19:21Pardon, sir, would you care to not have a cup of tea?
00:19:24Yes
00:19:27Now then, Richard
00:19:28I will show you
00:19:29She has completely disappeared
00:19:31Professor
00:19:32Call me
00:19:33Don't interrupt, you bore me
00:19:34Now, can you see anyone?
00:19:36Neither hide nor hair
00:19:37Did you say she?
00:19:39Yes
00:19:40Permit me to introduce you
00:19:44Miss Carroll
00:19:45Allow me to present Dick Russell, my young friend and patron
00:19:49Dick
00:19:49This is Miss Kitty
00:19:51Carol
00:19:51Don't be afraid
00:19:52Shake hands
00:19:55Shake
00:19:56Shake hands with what?
00:19:57Come, come, Miss Kitty
00:19:57Shake hands
00:19:59Say hello
00:20:01Really, she was here
00:20:02Sure, sure
00:20:04Of course she was
00:20:04Maybe you better lie down for a while
00:20:07Lie down? What nonsense?
00:20:09God
00:20:10Maybe some reaction I didn't foresee
00:20:14Maybe she's fainted
00:20:15Where are you, Miss Carroll?
00:20:18Miss Carroll?
00:20:19Miss...
00:20:19What are you?
00:20:21Kitty?
00:20:23Kitty?
00:20:23Kitty?
00:20:24Kitty?
00:20:25Kitty?
00:20:26Kitty?
00:20:27Not you
00:20:27Miss Carroll
00:20:30Avast
00:20:30Avont
00:20:31Out of me way
00:20:32Thou troublest me
00:20:34Thy bones are marrowless
00:20:36Kitty
00:20:37Oh, oh, there you are, sir
00:20:39You'd be pleased to know that the silverware is backed from the bank
00:20:41The trunks are all unpacked
00:20:43And the slipcovers are off throughout the entire house
00:20:46Yeah, that's fine, George
00:20:47We're closing up after all
00:20:49Very good, sir
00:20:49We're what?
00:20:52Mrs. Jackson!
00:20:53Mrs. Jackson!
00:20:54What do you want?
00:20:55What have you done with her?
00:20:56What have I done?
00:20:57She's gone
00:20:58Of course she's gone
00:20:59That's what I tried to tell you
00:21:00Where?
00:21:01Where?
00:21:02Where?
00:21:02Where?
00:21:03How do I know?
00:21:04Didn't she say anything?
00:21:06Yes
00:21:06She said, growly, growly, here I come
00:21:08But that...
00:21:09That doesn't make sense
00:21:10May...
00:21:12Growly, growly, here I come...
00:21:14Growly, growly, here I come...
00:21:16Growly, growly, here I come...
00:21:30Growly, growly...
00:21:31That...
00:21:36Snuffling and sniffling in the buyers' faces
00:21:38Go on, get your things and get out, you're fired
00:21:40Please, Mr. Growly, don't fire me
00:21:42Let me come back when I get rid of this coat of my head
00:21:45You'll never come back, you're fired
00:21:48Eyes front, chin up, shoulders back
00:21:49Come on, get going
00:22:15Growly...
00:22:21Growly, you miserable, wicked man
00:22:24Bullying poor little working girls
00:22:26Firing them, docking them, and enjoying it
00:22:30You're docking a girl to pay for this too, aren't you?
00:22:35The day of reckoning has come
00:22:37Now you'll see how it feels when the shoe's on the other foot
00:22:42Oh, Mr. Growly
00:22:44If a girl's late, you're finer
00:22:46If a girl's got a code, you'll fire her
00:22:48You certainly do things the hard way
00:22:58There it goes
00:22:59And maybe you should be sent after it
00:23:02Please, whoever you are
00:23:03I am the voice of your conscience
00:23:06Lean over the window, so Growly
00:23:09Oh, I...
00:23:10I said lean over
00:23:14Eyes front, Mr. Growly
00:23:15Chin up, shoulders back
00:23:17You worm
00:23:18You've always had a kick coming
00:23:21And here's one for interest
00:23:23And one to grow on
00:23:25There
00:23:25You've had that coming here for a long time
00:23:32I'm sick of you, Mr. Growly
00:23:34And I'm sick of getting in and out of these funny dresses
00:23:37I'm sick of leering men buyers
00:23:39And snooty women buyers
00:23:41I'm sick of the whole thing
00:23:44Oh, well, if it isn't my old pal the time clock
00:23:48Here's something to remember me by
00:23:57Paper, paper, evening paper
00:24:11How'd you do?
00:24:13I should like some information regarding a personal advertisement
00:24:16Sorry, sir, but personal means personal
00:24:20Stick them up
00:24:20Oh, go on home to your mother
00:24:22I ain't got a mother
00:24:23But I got a gun
00:24:24All right, boys, what do you want?
00:24:25There's only 37.50 in the cash
00:24:26We don't want cash
00:24:27We want the address of an ad
00:24:29The ad about being made invisible
00:24:30Oh, that one was put in by a loony called Gibbs
00:24:32Gibbs?
00:24:33Where do we find him?
00:24:34In the bug house by rights
00:24:35But I've got his address here
00:24:36Give me that
00:24:39Pick him up, butterfingers
00:24:41That's the kind of help you get nowadays
00:24:48This is the joint
00:25:10Say, where did you get this car?
00:25:12I didn't get it, Hammerhead got it
00:25:19How'd you do there?
00:25:22Where did you get this car?
00:25:23Oh, I just picked it up
00:25:26Nice pickings
00:25:29Say, what are we gonna talk to this professor about anyway?
00:25:31What? Don't make no difference
00:25:33As long as you get the layout of the invisible machine
00:25:35Here, scientist Foghorn
00:25:36You're a smooth talker
00:25:37Here
00:25:38You better take this with you
00:25:39Put that away
00:25:41Scientists don't carry Tommy guns
00:25:43Say, maybe we should have brought a butterfly net, huh?
00:25:57Don't trouble, Mrs. Jackson
00:25:59I have nothing more important to do
00:26:01Than answer the door
00:26:02Suit yourself
00:26:04Send me in quickly, Professor
00:26:07Go away!
00:26:08I am not speaking to you
00:26:09Oh, don't be an old stuffed shirt
00:26:11I had to go and smack down the boards
00:26:13A fine reason for becoming invisible
00:26:15The only reason
00:26:16Jobs are scarce and I can't afford to be fired
00:26:19Listen, Professor, I've got to warn you that
00:26:21I am not interested
00:26:22I am highly displeased with your
00:26:26Have I the honor of addressing Professor Gibbs?
00:26:28My name is Hardwick Spencer
00:26:30I'm a fellow scientist
00:26:31I represent a group in Mexico
00:26:33Good, sir
00:26:34Come right in
00:26:34Thank you
00:26:36Go away!
00:26:38Now wait
00:26:38Am I? Not you, sir
00:26:40Her
00:26:41Her?
00:26:42Who's her?
00:26:43My first subject
00:26:44And I am annoyed with her
00:26:45And I wash my hands of her
00:26:47You mean you've already tried the experiment?
00:26:49And it works?
00:26:50And hard
00:26:51Don't pay any attention to her
00:26:53I'll gladly show you the machine, sir
00:26:55I suppose you will be convinced by a demonstration
00:26:59That's exactly the idea
00:27:00Have you ever been to Mexico?
00:27:04Mexico? Why no
00:27:05Oh, you like it
00:27:07A fine trip
00:27:08And the boys
00:27:10My associates
00:27:11Will give you a royal welcome
00:27:13Thank you for the invitation
00:27:15Invitation? My eye
00:27:16I saw them drive up
00:27:17They have guns
00:27:19Mr. Spencer
00:27:20That's a lie
00:27:22Is it?
00:27:23Professor, ask him how he knew where to find you
00:27:25But he saw the advertisement in the paper
00:27:28Of course I did
00:27:29Naughty, naughty
00:27:30The ad didn't give the professor's name or address
00:27:33She's right
00:27:34How did you find me, if I'm not too personal?
00:27:37Why?
00:27:38You're a crook
00:27:39I'm a crook
00:27:40No
00:27:41I'm a scientist
00:27:42Back to Mexico, you wolf in scientist clothing
00:27:47Take it away
00:27:48Take it away, don't do that
00:27:50Take it away
00:27:51And don't you come back or I'll cut you dead
00:27:53Well, I suppose I should be grateful to you for disposing of him like that
00:27:57Thank you
00:27:58And goodbye
00:28:06Oh, come on, Professor, be a sport and forgive me
00:28:09Haven't I proved your experiment a success?
00:28:12I knew that beforehand
00:28:13I merely wish to utilize you to convince somebody
00:28:16Gosh, I am sorry
00:28:18Well, is there time to show me to this somebody before I get visible again?
00:28:22Ah
00:28:24Just about
00:28:25I'll tell him we're coming over
00:28:33Dick Russell, please
00:28:34Tell him it's Professor Gibbs
00:28:38Now, what are you doing?
00:28:42I'm dodging the draft
00:28:44The man from Mars, Professor Gibbs, sir
00:28:49Pardon, sir, he seems to have passed out
00:28:51Seems to be out, sir
00:28:52What?
00:28:55You're materializing
00:28:57Go get your clothes on
00:29:00My clothes are on
00:29:01Nonsense, they're behind the screen
00:29:03What screen?
00:29:05He seems to be on one of those things again, sir
00:29:07Ah, he's nuts
00:29:08He says you're nuts
00:29:10What?
00:29:10Tell him that a slight complication is arisen
00:29:13The girl came back, but now she's materialized
00:29:16If I can persuade her to get undressed again, I'll bring her right over
00:29:20The girl?
00:29:21Bring her over?
00:29:23Undressed?
00:29:24Why, Professor, I'm ashamed of you
00:29:27Now what's up?
00:29:29It's too delicate to repeat, sir
00:29:31But part of it was that he would bring the girl over
00:29:34Oh, no he isn't
00:29:35We're leaving right now for the lodge
00:29:37We'll leave right now for the lodge?
00:29:39You mean to say I have to cover up everything else again, sir?
00:29:41Certainly I have to cover up
00:29:42Oh, don't say that, sir
00:29:43Why don't you give the malls a holiday, sir?
00:29:45I've been in service for 25 years
00:29:55I'll resign again, sir
00:29:56And again
00:29:57And again
00:29:58And again
00:30:00And again
00:30:01Sometimes I suspect that man of his isn't all there
00:30:05On the other hand, you are
00:30:08What could have gone wrong, I wonder?
00:30:10You're not supposed to be visible for another hour
00:30:13Well, I'm sorry, Professor
00:30:14But at least I'll get back to work so I can check out
00:30:16Yes, I suppose you must
00:30:18It was very awkward for me
00:30:20Very years of work
00:30:23Taking all that money from him
00:30:25Never be able to pay him now
00:30:26You'd think I'd bar me
00:30:28This would have solved everything
00:30:30Dear, dear, dear, dear
00:30:31Stop, you're breaking my heart
00:30:34What do you want me to do?
00:30:35Be invisible again?
00:30:36Yes
00:30:37But you wouldn't
00:30:38I don't suppose I should expect
00:30:41But if you could get the rest of the day off
00:30:45Okay, I'll try Growly
00:30:50You were the nicest visible I have ever met
00:30:54And we'll abolish the time clock, too
00:30:57And oh, Mrs. Bates
00:30:58Don't forget to call the little lady with a cold
00:31:00And tell her to stay in bed until it's better
00:31:01She can have her job back anytime
00:31:04Yes, sir
00:31:05That's all, my dears
00:31:06Except that in the future we'll serve tea every afternoon at 4 o'clock
00:31:09You'll all like that, won't you?
00:31:11Yes, Mr. Growly
00:31:12Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll have to answer my phone
00:31:15What's happening to Mr. Growly?
00:31:18Hello, Miss Carol
00:31:19Hello, Miss Carol
00:31:19How are you, my dear child?
00:31:21Yes, of course, this is Mr. Growly
00:31:23Why, you needn't bother to ask at all
00:31:26Certainly, of course, take the whole weekend if you like
00:31:29And have a lovely time
00:31:30Bye-bye, my dear, and have fun
00:31:35How am I doing?
00:31:37It's you, Professor
00:31:38You reformed Growly
00:31:39In the name of all the working girls, I thank you
00:31:42No, no, I haven't time for this sort of thing
00:31:44You promised to be invisible again
00:31:46Okay, Professor, and you won't be seeing me in a few minutes
00:31:58He can't do this to me
00:32:00Hold my hat, Professor
00:32:03Dick! Richard!
00:32:06Wait!
00:32:07Wait, stop! Stop!
00:32:09Richard! You can't do this!
00:32:12Where are you going?
00:32:13To the lodge, fishing
00:32:14Fishing? What for?
00:32:16Fish!
00:32:17F-I-S, fish
00:32:22Fish!
00:32:25And me with an invisible woman for him not to see
00:32:29Hello?
00:32:30Yeah, this is Boghorn
00:32:31What?
00:32:34It's the boss
00:32:35The boss? Not in town
00:32:39So great to hear your voice, boss
00:32:41Where are you talking from?
00:32:44Oh, you're still down there, huh?
00:32:46Where?
00:32:47He's still in Mexico
00:32:49Well, we tried to get it, but we met with a kind of a complication
00:32:53Well, I'll complicate the three of you into such small pieces
00:32:56Your own mother couldn't put it together again
00:32:58I want to be invisible so I can go home
00:33:01I got to see the old hometown again
00:33:04I got to smell the lake
00:33:06I got to smell the lake
00:33:07I got to hear traffic
00:33:10I'm homesick
00:33:11Now he's crying
00:33:12Gosh, that's bad
00:33:13Last time he cried, we had to have that triple funeral
00:33:17Now we'll get that machine a bust
00:33:19But how are we going to get over the border?
00:33:21That's your worry, fathead
00:33:28That's your worry, fathead
00:33:28Nobody understands me, I'm sensitive
00:33:30That's what I am
00:33:33Ever been to the big town?
00:33:36No, senor
00:33:38I can almost hear the elevator right now
00:33:41The taxi drivers bawling each other out
00:33:44The cash register and the gay puree
00:33:47And the way the news is used to holler headlines
00:33:50The morning after we pulled a big job
00:33:54Senor, I do not know anything about that
00:33:56But I have never heard of a chemical formula that would make the human body unseen
00:34:03Watch your step, O'Klotz
00:34:05You are talking to a lonesome guy
00:34:07And a homesick guy, too
00:34:09My gang's on the trail of an invisible machine, see?
00:34:11Si, si
00:34:12And they're rushing it down here, see?
00:34:14Si, si
00:34:14And you are going to set it up and make it work, see?
00:34:16Si, si
00:34:17Or you'll have to find the formula how to put yourself together again, see?
00:34:21Si, si
00:34:22What is all this si, si? Are you Spanish?
00:34:24I'm a Pomeranian
00:34:33Fishy, fishy in the brook
00:34:35Master caught him with a hook
00:34:37Cookie fries him in a pan
00:34:40Oof, phooey, what a smell
00:34:50What a pull, but here we are
00:34:53What very superior mountains
00:34:54There's a very superior bush for you to undress behind
00:34:58What for?
00:35:00I don't want anyone but Richard to know that you're here
00:35:03Oh, come on, let me go in this way and scare him today
00:35:06Do as I say, and when I bring you to, I will give you the wrong face
00:35:11Hurry up!
00:35:16Why couldn't you have done this in the desert?
00:35:18Certainly would have been warmer
00:35:21Ouch!
00:35:22On those roses
00:35:26Watch where you're going, will you follow?
00:35:28Who could that be at this hour of my life?
00:35:31Disturbing my culinary art
00:35:33Hurry up!
00:35:34Is somebody coming?
00:35:36Kind of chilly
00:35:37I wonder how the dude is standing
00:35:41Oh, oh, it's you
00:35:43Yes, it's me, sunshine
00:35:45I thought we'd drop in on young Richard for a bit
00:35:49We?
00:35:50We in the sense of that visiting royalty
00:35:56Oh
00:35:57Ow!
00:36:00That door, you know, the hinges need a little oiling, my boy
00:36:05Nonsense, the hinges were oiled this morning
00:36:10Oh, I suppose the cat needs oiling too
00:36:13Cats and I are mutually allergic
00:36:17Queer, isn't it?
00:36:19Very, considering you have one at home
00:36:21Uh, not that I care, but are you feeling all right?
00:36:28A little better light
00:36:29A little cold coming on
00:36:34Beastly weather
00:36:37Isn't it?
00:36:38Mr. Russell likes it
00:36:39He says it makes the fish bite better
00:36:42You'll pardon an old-fashioned hint
00:36:43But we weren't expecting company up here
00:36:47As soon as I have elucidated matters to Richard
00:36:50We will pop off
00:36:52Why do you keep saying we?
00:36:54I am referring to the editorial
00:36:57We
00:37:00Did something come down the chimney?
00:37:02Perhaps it was Santa Claus
00:37:04Oh, yes, yes, perhaps it was
00:37:05There is no Santa Claus
00:37:08Now, that's right, there isn't this that
00:37:09Months too early for him
00:37:11Now, what was that?
00:37:13Mice?
00:37:14Mice?
00:37:14Mice?
00:37:15Mice?
00:37:15We never had mice here before
00:37:17Hang up my coat for me, will you, my dear fellow?
00:37:24Stop that, will you?
00:37:25I can't help it, I'm freezing
00:37:40Behave yourself!
00:37:45Nothing like a spot of brandy on a damp night
00:37:48Nothing like making yourself at home either
00:37:52What?
00:37:53What?
00:37:54Did you shoot that elk?
00:37:56No, I think it was born there
00:37:58What goes on?
00:38:00Have one with me
00:38:01Yeah, well, thank you
00:38:02Perhaps I'd better
00:38:03Maybe I think
00:38:05Thank you, thank you
00:38:12Oh my
00:38:13Went down the wrong way, huh?
00:38:15That's good
00:38:19I hope you don't choke
00:38:21I hope
00:38:23Thank you, that's enough, old man
00:38:24Yes
00:38:27What are you, ventriloquist?
00:38:29Sometimes
00:38:30Sometimes
00:38:30That's right, of course
00:38:32Ventriloquism
00:38:33I, uh, I remember
00:38:34I picked it up at college
00:38:35Yeah, from the fellow next door
00:38:37Oh, well, for a minute
00:38:38You had me worried there
00:38:39You see what I see?
00:38:43He also dabbled in magic
00:38:46Help, help, Mr. Russell
00:38:48Spooks, Spooks, Mr. Russell
00:38:50Really, Miss Kitty
00:38:51You have no control
00:38:53I'm too cold to have any control
00:38:55Ah, well, if you're cold, I suppose
00:38:58You'll have to put something on
00:39:00Now, uh
00:39:03I, I wouldn't drink too much
00:39:04If I were you
00:39:05Why not?
00:39:06It warms me up
00:39:06There is no telling
00:39:08What reaction alcohol
00:39:09May have upon your invisibility
00:39:12Now, uh
00:39:15It's raining
00:39:15I'll have to bring your things in
00:39:17Before they get soaked
00:39:19Here
00:39:19Take this, will you?
00:39:24Mr. Russell
00:39:25Mr. Russell
00:39:27Mr. Russell
00:39:27What's the matter with you?
00:39:28The professor is up here, sir
00:39:29The professor?
00:39:30Yes, yes, and he's acting very peculiarly, sir
00:39:32I, I, frankly
00:39:33I'm frightened
00:39:34Now, George, we both know he's cracked
00:39:35What's he doing?
00:39:36I don't know what he's doing now
00:39:37But just a minute ago, sir
00:39:38While I was in there, he was trying to explain
00:39:40He had a
00:39:40It was a law
00:39:41It came out of a
00:39:42I don't know, sir
00:39:43Now, it can't be as bad as that
00:39:44Oh, yes, please
00:39:45Come on and let me show you
00:39:46Will you please, Mr. Russell?
00:39:50Oh
00:39:50All I ask
00:39:51Is a little cooperation
00:39:55You see what I mean, sir?
00:39:57Where'd those clothes come from?
00:39:59They're his
00:40:00You're sure you're all right?
00:40:01Oh, sir
00:40:03Well, you just have to humor him
00:40:05Yes, yes, sir
00:40:06And you, too
00:40:07Oh, Mr. Russell
00:40:08Oh, professor
00:40:15Well, new tailor, professor?
00:40:17Eh?
00:40:18Oh, oh
00:40:18Well, my boy
00:40:19I, uh
00:40:20The rain, you know
00:40:21I, I was afraid of catching cold
00:40:22It's good you brought something to change into
00:40:24Huh?
00:40:26Uh
00:40:26Oh, oh
00:40:27They're not mine
00:40:28No, no
00:40:29No, of course, my dear boy
00:40:30I, uh
00:40:31I can quickly explain
00:40:32If, uh
00:40:33If I could see you alone for a moment
00:40:35Alone, eh? What for?
00:40:36I've done it, my lad
00:40:38I've brought her
00:40:39She's here
00:40:40Ah, just take it easy, professor
00:40:42And everything will be all right
00:40:45Where? Mr. Russell
00:40:47Look
00:40:48Where, where, where, where
00:40:49There it goes again
00:40:52Ah
00:40:55Stop staring, stupid
00:40:56Give him this
00:40:57Go on
00:40:58Give it to him
00:41:02Here, to it
00:41:03Where is it?
00:41:04Here
00:41:04I hope you're ashamed of yourself, young woman
00:41:07Young?
00:41:08Of course I'm young
00:41:09Now, now
00:41:10You don't need another drink
00:41:12You haven't fainted
00:41:13Okay
00:41:14Here, handsome
00:41:15You don't look so hot yourself
00:41:17Oh, that's
00:41:17Very thoughtful of you
00:41:19Oh
00:41:19Drinks the candles
00:41:20Ventriloquist magicians
00:41:22Come on, Stuart
00:41:22Pull yourself together
00:41:23Tell him it's nothing supernatural
00:41:25Just a simple little invention
00:41:27Oh, oh, oh
00:41:28I beg your pardon, sir
00:41:29I shouldn't have given way this way
00:41:32Look now, sir
00:41:33For flying cats
00:41:36Yeah
00:41:37Now, sure I can fly
00:41:39Here, catch them
00:41:40Oh, oh
00:41:43Talking cats
00:41:44Oh, here I go again, folks
00:41:48What the hell is such a thing?
00:41:49It's only an invisible girl
00:41:51Talking
00:41:51Come on, Joyce
00:41:52Get hold of yourself
00:41:53Go on up and lie down
00:41:54Oh, thank you, sir
00:41:55It'll be a pleasure
00:41:57I've been in service all my life
00:41:59My father's been in service before me
00:42:01And I've never been implicated
00:42:02For such a mess
00:42:04Professor
00:42:05Professor, are you an apology?
00:42:06I thought you were crazy
00:42:07I never dreamed
00:42:10Oh, I still don't believe it
00:42:12Say, Professor
00:42:13Is this the guy who's going to promote your cute law machine?
00:42:16Ah, yes
00:42:17Yes, yes, of course
00:42:18Pardon me
00:42:19Uh, Miss Carol
00:42:20Mr. Richard Russell
00:42:23How you doing?
00:42:24I don't think much of him
00:42:25He's no businessman
00:42:27He's a playboy
00:42:28I've seen his pictures in the papers
00:42:31They call him the Patsy of the Pacific
00:42:33Yeah?
00:42:34Well, listen, Miss Nothing
00:42:35I'll have you know
00:42:36I'm perfectly capable of handling any business deals
00:42:38Of any kind or size
00:42:39Oh, I see
00:42:40It's only women you can't handle
00:42:43Yeah, beautiful women
00:42:44But then you wouldn't know anything about that
00:42:46Oh, is that so?
00:42:47Sure, any girl who'd become invisible
00:42:49Can't be very easy on the eyes
00:42:50Professor, I insist on being visible again
00:42:53Right now
00:42:54Impossible, my dear
00:42:55You'll have to wait until morning
00:42:57Hey, look out
00:42:59You'll stay good and invisible till then
00:43:01I wasn't making any chances
00:43:03Besides, you'd hardly want to take shape
00:43:06Before your clothes dry
00:43:08You...
00:43:09You don't mean she's really
00:43:10Yeah, I mean she's really
00:43:12Hey, hey, hey
00:43:13No, you don't
00:43:14I'd better make you some strong coffee
00:43:16I...
00:43:17I don't know what's the matter
00:43:18I never liked to drink before
00:43:20Fight the impulse, young woman
00:43:23That desire must be caused by something in the treatment
00:43:29Well, well
00:43:30Now I know the meaning of the expression
00:43:32Alone at last
00:43:33Hey, you almost stepped on me
00:43:35Why don't you carry a red lantern or something?
00:43:37Or at least put some clothes on
00:43:39So I can see where you're not
00:43:40But then you're hiding your stylish stout figure
00:43:43I'll spike that ugly rumor
00:43:45And three hooks and a zipper
00:43:49Darn it, they're still soaked
00:43:51How very convenient
00:43:52At least the stockings are dry
00:43:54Now to find my feet
00:43:56This is worse than dressing in the dark
00:44:01There
00:44:02Now we'll see who's stalling
00:44:05It so happens that by profession I'm a model
00:44:08What for? Piano legs?
00:44:09Anytime you hear of a piano with legs like mine, Sonny
00:44:13Run, do not walk to your nearest music store
00:44:17There, apologies are now in order
00:44:19Does the rest of you follow that same interesting pattern?
00:44:23None of your business
00:44:27Hmm
00:44:30Well now where are you?
00:44:31At the end of the cigarette
00:44:33You know when it rains like this
00:44:35All the roads around here get washed out
00:44:36So you and the professor better plan to spend the night
00:44:39Just because I have good looking legs?
00:44:41No, because the roads are washed out
00:44:43Besides the professor and I have all this business to discuss
00:44:46Because I have good looking legs
00:44:49If I knew where your neck was, I'd ring it
00:44:51I think I'll have just another little one
00:44:55Oh
00:44:57Oh, I feel dizzy
00:44:58Must be the altitude
00:44:59Sure, altitude
00:45:01spelled B-R-A-N-D-Y
00:45:02Oh, call the professor
00:45:05Everything's spinning
00:45:06Oh
00:45:10Hey, professor
00:45:12What's the matter?
00:45:13She says it's the altitude
00:45:14She says
00:45:15Yes
00:45:15What?
00:45:16We'll have to get her to bed
00:45:17Okay, let me
00:45:18I forgot she's
00:45:22Yeah, she certainly is
00:45:23Come on, come on
00:45:24Hold on your arm
00:45:26I can't stand up on my good looking legs
00:45:32Whoopee
00:45:33That's all right
00:45:34Just a little too much altitude
00:45:41Better take her to the showers
00:45:43Hmm
00:45:43Opsy daisy
00:45:47That's very heavy
00:45:48You think you're a great big strong man
00:45:53We better get her to bed
00:46:00Hey, what's going on here?
00:46:02I'm leaving, sir, without notice
00:46:03Don't be ridiculous, you're getting to be a problem child
00:46:06Either the professor goes
00:46:07Either the professor goes or I go
00:46:08He has a personality like a temporary filling
00:46:10Now the professor is just an old ploy
00:46:12I don't mind pole vaulting decanters and flying cats
00:46:15But when it comes to invisible women
00:46:17George, this invention means a lot of money to me
00:46:19When I start paying you again, I'll give you a raise
00:46:23What?
00:46:24A raise
00:46:24Oh, thank you, that's well worth looking forward to
00:46:27I'll reconsider
00:46:30You know something, I can hardly wait to see her face
00:46:32Most fortunately for you, sir, this one is invisible
00:46:35And I sincerely hope she remains that way
00:46:37Why?
00:46:38Because looking at a woman is only the first step to trouble
00:46:40You look, she smiles
00:46:42You soften, she soothes
00:46:45Invisible women
00:46:46These days, you can't believe your own eyes
00:46:48Even if you don't see anything
00:47:13Oh, shit
00:47:15Oh, shit
00:47:25Just snap that
00:47:26You won't put me down here
00:47:27Oh, all my bunion
00:47:30I
00:47:31That's it
00:47:39Where are you upstairs?
00:47:40I didn't do nothing, Piper
00:47:42Fuck me
00:47:51Look, a safe
00:47:55Oh, boy
00:47:56Look how it goes around and in and out and down and up
00:47:59Gosh, just like the world of tomorrow
00:48:02Come on, come on, get busy
00:48:04Take it apart but slow
00:48:05So I can diagram how to put it back together again
00:48:10Quiet
00:48:23Let me out
00:48:25Oh!
00:48:42George!
00:48:44Here I am.
00:48:45Oh, your breakfast, sir.
00:48:48George, the professor said she'd be visible this morning.
00:48:50If she is, I'll be invisible by tonight.
00:48:52Let's take a look.
00:48:53Oh, please, let well enough be well enough.
00:48:56Oh, my goodness.
00:49:01Doggone it, where is she?
00:49:03Look, sir.
00:49:05Oh, kitty.
00:49:06Why don't you both come in and then knock?
00:49:09Oh, my head, my head.
00:49:13Pardon me, madam, you haven't any head.
00:49:14That's what you think.
00:49:15It's as big as all outdoors.
00:49:17Oh, dear, I need an aspirin.
00:49:20Get me a nurse, get me a doctor, get me something.
00:49:23Oh, where's the professor?
00:49:25George, we'd better get the professor.
00:49:27What for?
00:49:27To cheer up a lot of bedclothes?
00:49:29Oh, professor.
00:49:30Professor.
00:49:32Oh, professor.
00:49:34Oh, professor.
00:49:36Oh, professor.
00:49:38Oh, darn it.
00:49:38I'm still invisible.
00:49:40Hey, professor.
00:49:42Hey, professor.
00:49:42Professor.
00:49:42Professor.
00:49:42Woo-hoo.
00:49:43Professor.
00:49:44Professor.
00:49:44Professor.
00:49:44Hey, professor.
00:49:45Oh, professor.
00:49:46Where are you?
00:49:47Where are you?
00:49:47Professor.
00:49:49Professor.
00:49:50Professor.
00:49:50Did someone say professor?
00:49:53No.
00:49:53It's me, Kitty.
00:49:55I thought I heard somebody.
00:49:56Professor, look at me.
00:49:57I can't see me at all.
00:49:59Ah, that's too bad.
00:50:01But, George, I was right.
00:50:02I warned you to go easy on the spirits.
00:50:05How right you were.
00:50:06When there is an affinity between two molecular forces and the natural reagent is chemically
00:50:12contrary to school.
00:50:13Oh, have a heart, professor.
00:50:15Well, there is the result.
00:50:17Chemically invisible.
00:50:18Stop broadcasting.
00:50:19I simply refuse to stay this way.
00:50:22Oh.
00:50:22Now what's the matter?
00:50:23I stubbed my toe.
00:50:25Professor, dear professor, you've got to get me out of this.
00:50:28Please, I've got to be visible.
00:50:30Just think of my suspense.
00:50:32Yeah, we'll rush back to my laboratory and I'll fix you up.
00:50:35George, pack everything up.
00:50:36We're leaving.
00:50:37We'll all rush.
00:50:38Eh, Richard?
00:50:39Well, let's get a move on.
00:50:40I'm tired of being a piece of laundry.
00:50:42Your car is ready, miss.
00:50:50It says here we're in Mexico.
00:50:52I know that.
00:50:53You don't think that guy at the customs gate was speaking Gaelic?
00:50:58Hey, boy.
00:51:03It's all right.
00:51:04It's foghorn.
00:51:09All right, boys.
00:51:10Get those crates out, but treat them gently.
00:51:14Got it, huh?
00:51:15You bet, boss.
00:51:16There it is, right down to the last gadget.
00:51:18Yeah, and I've got it diagrammed on paper and everything.
00:51:24That, the machine's gone.
00:51:27Maybe it's made itself invisible.
00:51:29That's hardly possible.
00:51:32I wonder what that was.
00:51:33If you have any sense, you should look and see.
00:51:39Mrs. Jackson.
00:51:40Really, Mrs. Jackson.
00:51:42What an odd place to spend the night.
00:51:45The formula for the injection.
00:51:47Richard, help me.
00:51:48Quick, quick.
00:51:52They can't use the machine without these.
00:51:55What luck.
00:51:56What do you mean luck?
00:51:57What about me?
00:51:58Do I have to go through the rest of my life like this?
00:52:01Really, Professor, I think she looks much better like this.
00:52:04You have a nerve, you fishless fisherman.
00:52:07Now, children, children.
00:52:08What are you going to do about me?
00:52:10Experiment till I find out what's keeping you invisible so long.
00:52:15Yes, but how long is that going to take you?
00:52:17I haven't a notion.
00:52:18It took me 10 years to perfect the machine.
00:52:26Now, what are you laughing at?
00:52:28The chap who took it without the injection, you know.
00:52:31Oh, my dear.
00:52:32That machine is apt to do the strangest things to people.
00:52:38Ah, senor.
00:52:40This machine.
00:52:41I love her.
00:52:42She's so beautiful.
00:52:44If only I could to meet the man who make her, I would kiss him.
00:52:47I think.
00:52:48Just stick to business.
00:52:49If it works, I'll kiss him for you.
00:52:51Thank you, senor.
00:52:56She is ready, I think.
00:52:58You think?
00:53:00You boys sure about the dame it made invisible?
00:53:02Sure, boss, positive.
00:53:03Oh, Farquhoun, senor.
00:53:06Okay.
00:53:07Farquhoun, you're elected.
00:53:08You see, I told you.
00:53:10Boss.
00:53:12I don't want to be invisible.
00:53:14You heard me?
00:53:15First, we will start with the head.
00:53:17Never mind the head.
00:53:18That's useless.
00:53:19Well, then we will start with the neck.
00:53:22Good.
00:53:23Boss.
00:53:26What about?
00:53:27Oh, no, boss.
00:53:28Farquhoun understands those things.
00:53:29He's scientific.
00:53:30I'm underweight.
00:53:31Farquhoun.
00:53:32I am.
00:53:33There's not many people out there that pride this machine first.
00:53:36Now get going.
00:53:37Thanks, boss.
00:53:39That's great.
00:53:40Senor Farquhoun, in back of the screen, please.
00:53:43Yes, yes, yes.
00:53:47Okay.
00:53:50Now get going.
00:54:09How does it feel?
00:54:14oh he likes it he always likes it when he's lit up i can still see him so can i
00:54:22so can i
00:54:23so cannot class something that should be here is missing i think
00:54:32i thought you guys got everything oh we did boys did we fight on i'll show it
00:54:39him what's that i said joey did what did i something has gone wrong i think
00:54:49hey you give me back my pipes well let go of me and i'll fuck the pack of you let
00:54:55go of him
00:54:58take him down to the cellar and let him cool off and then you do what you should have done
00:55:03in the
00:55:03first place you guys go back and get me the professor or i'll have all of you singing
00:55:08soprano here boss i got it fires in july you are fussy
00:55:17you're a nuisance that's what you are an invisible female nuisance i i didn't know you two were
00:55:22talking we're not why the fire well there were so many cracks about how awful my dress looked
00:55:30without a head i took it off but tarzan over there is still as disagreeable as ever oh well
00:55:35you can both cheer up because i think i found the formula to make you visible again oh professor
00:55:42so dick will be on his way to washington with the patents and you'll never have to see each other
00:55:47again isn't that nice so uh try and put up with each other for just a little while longer
00:55:58so you're going to washington yes
00:56:05what's it to you you should have been there years ago you've got the personality of a politician
00:56:10for a person with no personality at all you've got no right to talk
00:56:15and stop crying i'm not crying i sniffled well even invisible ladies can have manners use your
00:56:21handkerchief i'm no kangaroo i haven't got pockets in my skin well here use mine
00:56:31ouch i'm sorry did i hurt you well did i i shook my head i can't see that
00:56:40wait a minute where are you going got an idea that'll change the whole complexion thing professor's
00:56:46not the only inventor around here put this on why well at least i can see you nod now that
00:56:51looks
00:56:51silly what's the way they're wearing them stand up so i can see what you look like
00:56:59is that all the taller you are oh silly i'm only trying to find out which is the front of
00:57:03this thing
00:57:03is this better much what color did you say your eyes were well if you're so interested why don't you
00:57:09stick around and find out that's just what i'm going to do hey that's my hand you know yeah i
00:57:17know
00:57:17do you mind if i borrow it for a minute it's a very nice hand it's very soft
00:57:25very pleasant to the taste um why do you close your eyes i can't see you like at least imagine
00:57:31i know i'm just a ghost where you're concerned i'm nothing but a nothing
00:57:37if this hand is any criterion you must have lovely lips beautiful hair nice thank you richard that's
00:57:43a very charming compliment look you reagent to counteract alcohol kitty miguel i'll have you
00:57:49visible before you can see jack robinson i'm almost afraid to be myself it's like making a blind date
00:57:56you got to lose you've already seen me you know in a way richard i'm sorry to do this you
00:58:02know if more
00:58:03women were invisible life would be much less complicated and much less interesting
00:58:17that belongs on the lamp sir i know it it looks much better with a bulb in it
00:58:21what's the gun for it's a damp night sir do you always wear a shotgun to keep you dry being
00:58:28damp out
00:58:28it's foggy and being foggy it's a good cover for the return attack of the thugs who took the machine
00:58:33i intend to patrol the ground sir which at least makes sense
00:58:40we needed that hole for ventilation sir
00:58:44oh dear oh dear i'm so excited sit still only take a minute here
00:59:01you forgot to say ouch well i'm so worried about what he'll think of me i think he'll think he
00:59:06likes
00:59:07you yeah but he's always like glamour girls with expensive clothes and furs and things and all
00:59:13i've got is this wrinkled old dress and what you really need is a new outfit to make an entrance
00:59:19in
00:59:19well you needn't rob it here wonderful thing these shopping services really
00:59:27guaranteed glamorous or your money back
00:59:31open it oh professor oh oh oh oh
00:59:38wait wait save those for richard i charge it to his account oh i don't care you're a
00:59:44darling wait wait after all yourself get dressed and knock him cold oh boy will i oh isn't that lovely
00:59:53just remember one thing young woman no alcohol or liquor of any sort when you dissipate you disappear
01:00:27hey buddy huh oh yes sir have you got a match why yes indeed sir
01:00:36hold it hold it will you bud why certainly sir
01:00:43ah hey you're frightening them do something
01:01:00oh look at my hair it's a mess
01:01:09now she's taking her time professor what does she look like oh a girl you know
01:01:16i never have paid much attention to women myself
01:01:21she ever say anything about me not a word no she didn't of course it's a matter of complete
01:01:28indifference to me i'm through with women anyway here she comes
01:01:42my
01:01:44my
01:01:44my
01:01:44my
01:01:45my
01:01:47my
01:01:49my
01:01:49my
01:02:02I'll stay right where you are. I want to get a good look at you. Kitty, this is wonderful. This
01:02:09is even better than I expected.
01:02:28Come on. Where are we going? Well, you wouldn't trust a beautiful dame like that with a couple of lugs
01:02:32like us, would you? Perhaps you're right. Well, come on.
01:02:38Come on. Before I resign, sir, permit me to state there are prowlers about and they've got my gun.
01:02:47Pleasant evening for a drive. We're not going for a drive. We're being taken for a rod.
01:02:54Why don't you look where you're going?
01:03:00Hey, what?
01:03:03George, did you have to throw the fish?
01:03:05It's Friday, sir. Now, before you say, where am I? You're right here in your own front hall, sir. You're
01:03:09quite all right.
01:03:10Good grief. Kitty and the professor, they got him.
01:03:12They did? Well, good riddance, I'll say, sir. Pardon me, please.
01:03:18Whatever it is, we don't want any.
01:03:21I want Mr. Russell. Mr. Richard Russell. He's out tuna hunting.
01:03:25Huh?
01:03:25Who is it?
01:03:26I don't know, sir, but it sounds like Jenny Lind.
01:03:28Well, let him in.
01:03:29Come in.
01:03:32Hi, Mr. Russell.
01:03:34I can tell you where they took the girl and the professor.
01:03:37For the love of Pete, where?
01:03:38Down at Blacky Cole's hideout in Mexico. He's got the invention, too.
01:03:42George, get the airport. Call the airport. We're leaving.
01:03:44Oh, airport? No, on the phone.
01:03:46Oh, excuse me, sir.
01:03:47You don't know what this means to me, Mr. What's your name?
01:03:50It used to be Foghorn.
01:04:00How much farther is it?
01:04:02About five miles.
01:04:03I hope the professor hasn't shown them how to use the machine.
01:04:07Well, as soon as he does, Blacky will bump both of them off.
01:04:10That is, unless the professor talks, Blacky did death first.
01:04:14So, you see, the entire principle is a combination of chemical, biological, and dynamic influences.
01:04:21Cut out the stalling!
01:04:23For now, you've been using big words.
01:04:25Yes, professor. For the love of mine, cut out the stalling. I want to go home.
01:04:28You'll both go home or slap if this guy don't come through.
01:04:32I want to be invisible.
01:04:33I don't blame you. It would be a decided improvement.
01:04:39Now, professor, you either play ball with us, or we get wrapped with the lady.
01:04:45Play ball? I was never any good a deal.
01:04:48You know what I mean.
01:04:49Come clean about how that machine works. Make me invisible. Or else.
01:04:53I would very much rather else. I did not invent that machine to make killers like you invisible.
01:05:00How do you know I'm a killer?
01:05:02You have all the earmarks, my friend. The constricted cerebellum. The receding frontal bone. The Lambrosian earlobe.
01:05:12I got all that, huh?
01:05:14And you are also given to sudden and unexpected outbursts of weeping.
01:05:22Well, what do you know?
01:05:25You'd cry, too, if you was exiled like me.
01:05:29Sometimes I think I can hardly stand it any longer.
01:05:33Hey, lady!
01:05:35That stuff will let you bridge work.
01:05:38Impossible. I haven't any bridge work.
01:05:40Isn't he silly, professor? I don't feel a thing.
01:05:42The reagent must be still functioning.
01:05:45There's a molecular antagonism, you know.
01:05:47I don't get this scientific lingo, but alcohol used to be my business.
01:05:50But that stuff is practically TNT.
01:05:53Oh, in that case.
01:05:55Lady, have a heart.
01:05:56I've seen him drink hair tonic. I've seen him drink vanilla, but never this.
01:06:08Boss, look! Look!
01:06:15That a girl!
01:06:17Take this.
01:06:20And that.
01:06:22Here I am.
01:06:23If you move fast, you can still catch me in the dress.
01:06:26Oh, faster than that.
01:06:28Here I am.
01:06:29No, no, no. Over here.
01:06:39I don't know my own strength.
01:06:41Strike one!
01:06:44Count Shorty, you're next.
01:06:45Better put that down or you'll break it.
01:06:48There. Now you look like a fish.
01:06:49Blackie! Blackie! Blackie!
01:06:52Blackie!
01:06:52You big fish.
01:06:54A little bit of this will put you right to sleep.
01:06:59You're even dizzier than you look.
01:07:01Straight!
01:07:03And now to black out Blackie.
01:07:06What do you say, Blackie?
01:07:08How about you and I going over this room with your fine tooth comb?
01:07:12That's the only way you'll ever find me.
01:07:16How to have fun at parties?
01:07:17Why be a wallflower?
01:07:19You too can be invisible in six easy lessons.
01:07:21Amaze your friends. Amaze yourself.
01:07:24Now just follow me.
01:07:27Come on, Blackie.
01:07:28You may not be able to catch me, but you might catch onto the trick.
01:07:32Over here.
01:07:33Well, I've always wondered how this thing works.
01:07:35Why, that is pretty, isn't it?
01:07:37Come on, Blackie.
01:07:38Come on.
01:07:39Let's look at this closer.
01:07:41This way.
01:07:42Here I am.
01:07:43Now the whole secret is to touch the wire cylinder.
01:07:48That must be quite a shock to you.
01:07:54Strike three.
01:07:55You're out.
01:07:58How am I doing?
01:08:00Fine. Untie me.
01:08:01Not yet, Professor.
01:08:03There are more of them outside.
01:08:04You're safer here.
01:08:43Wee!
01:08:44Set them up in the other alley.
01:08:46Miss King!
01:08:48Yes, Professor?
01:08:50Are you all right?
01:08:51Never felt better.
01:08:53Look, I'm mistress of all I survey.
01:08:56Good.
01:08:57Something seems to me the matter with my feet.
01:09:00They're all tied up.
01:09:01Huh?
01:09:03I never thought that.
01:09:06Hey, somebody's coming.
01:09:08I think it...
01:09:08Yes, Dick.
01:09:10He can't rescue me this easy, he can't.
01:09:13If he wants me, let him fight for me.
01:09:16You take the back door and I'll take the front door.
01:09:18And I'll be in Brooklyn before you.
01:09:20Oh, no you don't.
01:09:21Open up in there.
01:09:22We'll scare them out.
01:09:23We'll scare them.
01:09:29Those are the noisiest grasshoppers I ever heard.
01:09:33Christopher Columbus were being shot at!
01:09:38Help! Help!
01:09:39It's Kitty, we've got to go to her.
01:09:41No, no, no. Let's try and make her come to us.
01:09:43Here, Kitty, Kitty, Kitty, Kitty.
01:09:45Here, Kitty.
01:09:46Here, Kitty.
01:09:47Here, Kitty, Kitty, Kitty, Kitty.
01:09:49Here, Kitty.
01:09:50You served your life.
01:09:52That's what you get for pulling me in that Turkish bath
01:09:54and turning me into a terror.
01:09:55You double-crust me.
01:10:02You double-crust me.
01:10:03You had it coming to you.
01:10:05What?
01:10:06Chief!
01:10:08Look up my flashback.
01:10:10Flashback!
01:10:12That's all right.
01:10:14Let my guards be my guards.
01:10:22I don't know why I should be afraid.
01:10:29Professor, where's Kitty?
01:10:30No, no, not that.
01:10:32Anything but that.
01:10:39What was that?
01:10:40That was Kitty.
01:10:41Help! Help! I'm driving!
01:10:44Help! Help! I'm driving!
01:10:46Help!
01:10:48Where are you?
01:10:49Right beside you.
01:10:52We fell for each other in a big way after all, didn't we?
01:10:55We're all wet, but I love you.
01:11:03Well, he may have Mrs. Russell's coloring,
01:11:06but he definitely resembles our side of the family, sir.
01:11:09He has your eyes.
01:11:10Oh, yes. My eyes, exactly.
01:11:12I'm not so sure about that.
01:11:13Who do you think he looks like, Professor?
01:11:15A bit like me, don't you think?
01:11:34Hereditary.
01:11:44Was Will?
01:11:47You are not sav granting me change.
01:11:49Michael no, no.
01:11:49A bit like me.
01:11:58I'm sorry.
01:12:04Well, my foot will deep down his arm.
01:12:04I ignore the heart when he we just leaves him a little bro narrative.
01:12:05I saw you standing here, too.
01:12:06I'm sorry.
01:12:06He would diz blackstruck back and wait.
01:12:06To see you looking at him an noise,另low's.
01:12:07Reading me.
01:12:07He will yearn't all as well.
01:12:08You believe him.
01:12:08No!
01:12:08He has no idea what did his ship when yesterdayicket ever makes,
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