Skip to playerSkip to main content
  • 12 hours ago

Category

📺
TV
Transcript
00:00I can't even hide it, baby, the thought of you feels like I'm dying
00:07I can't even hide it, you just see right through
00:14I can't even hide it, baby, the thought of you feels like I'm dying
00:21And I die a million times to keep you on my mind
00:41Wait, where am I? Uh, what time is it?
00:44Uh, we're at my place. It's 6.15.
00:48What? What's the plan of spending the night?
00:52Sorry. Within two seconds of cuddling, you fell asleep and you were so peaceful.
00:56I didn't want to wake you.
00:57I slept six hours? Who does that? I haven't slept that long since my ACL surgery.
01:00Yeah, and Davis lives across the hall, so you've got to move.
01:02What? Uh, okay, yeah.
01:04Your name's early. Hurry up.
01:11Morning.
01:12Hey, see we have another early bird in the building?
01:15Yep.
01:22So, uh, how do you know, Abby?
01:24I don't.
01:43Hey, Elena.
01:44Hi. I think I left my glasses at your place. Can you check?
01:48Your glasses? Sure.
01:49That reminds me. I'm either here or farsighted. I need to get my eyes checked.
01:53Uh, hey, I gotta go.
01:55Wow. Doing little errands for your lady? Whip, huh?
01:58I guess.
01:59You know, I really like her.
02:00I'm legitimately excited to spend election season with her.
02:04Which, speaking of, how are things going with AJ?
02:07I'm really trying to take a step back and focus on myself.
02:09That's great, man. Proud of you.
02:10Proud of me, too.
02:11Yeah, I was walking around her hometown on Google Maps Street View at 3 a.m.
02:15I was like, what are you doing?
02:17Why'd you ask?
02:19No reason.
02:20Hey, fuckers! Welcome to the Thunderdome!
02:22I'm four mountain dudes deep and ready to administer your beatdown.
02:26Whatever, losers. Enjoy your soda.
02:27At least we're old enough to drink.
02:29Hey, can you guys keep it down out here?
02:31I'm trying to memorize my lines for my acting class tomorrow.
02:33And I have to be lighting candles at church in six hours.
02:35You don't hear me complaining, bitch!
02:37Okay, I'm turning the TV off.
02:39No, don't do that. We'll put I headbutt.
02:45Email, Aiden!
02:46We'll kick your asses back to kindergarten!
02:48That's it. You're done. I'm putting the TV in my room.
02:50No, no, no. We'll be good. We promise.
02:52Please, Kel. We'll be done in like three hours. I swear.
02:53Three hours? Five hours tops.
02:57Unbelievable.
02:58Okay, so for your bio, we have
03:00Abby Chilkari is a vibrant and talented up-and-coming stylist based in New York.
03:05Damn, Anupam. You make me sound so accomplished.
03:08I'm simply reading back the words you wrote for yourself.
03:10Now, please, resend the images you'd like included. I only received two.
03:15It's just those two.
03:16Maybe I should change celebrity stylist to aspiring celebrity stylist?
03:20Okay, let's not get caught up in the details. Just make it look good and send me a link when
03:23it's done.
03:24Hey, you're still up.
03:26Wait, were you with Bill again? That's like four nights this week.
03:29Actually, five.
03:30A few count him accidentally falling asleep in my bed last night.
03:33Look at you. And I thought you said you'd never date anyone at work.
03:37I know, but that was before I realized Bill might be my person.
03:40Wow.
03:41I've never heard you talk about anyone like this before.
03:43Okay, so tell me about your date.
03:44Did you guys go to a fancy restaurant with their leftovers?
03:47God, I love free food.
03:48We don't really go out to dinner. We just do drinks at his place.
03:51Oh. Okay.
03:53So then it's more like a casual hookup kind of thing.
03:56No, we're dating.
03:59What? Just say it.
04:03I love that Bill is your person.
04:05But if you guys are dating, don't you think you should be going on dates?
04:09Okay, I get that it's kind of unconventional, but it's nuanced because of our circumstances.
04:17And I get that you don't understand that, but it's working great for us.
04:21Then that's great.
04:23Great. Good night.
04:37Hey.
04:38Yo.
04:39Well, I hope you're happy.
04:41You kept me up all night. I was so tired I fell asleep in my acting class today.
04:44I mean, is that a big deal?
04:45Yes. My scene partner was Medea, and she just said she killed our kids, and I was out cold.
04:50And who ate all my food?
04:51Oh, I had like a bite. Is that okay?
04:54A bite? I had five meals prepped, and they're all gone.
04:56Well, I only ate one. I just accidentally left the rest out, and they all went bad.
05:00Bro, those were going to be my school lunches for the week.
05:03Oh, buddy, you're like really grumpy. What's going on?
05:05We can't keep staying up all night, playing video games, having fun, eating and drinking whatever we want.
05:10Uh, why can't we do any of that stuff? You're describing an awesome life.
05:13Look, we're sorry about last night, but our jobs are super stressful, and on Fridays we have to be able
05:18to blow off some steam.
05:18Yeah.
05:19My life is stressful, too.
05:22What?
05:22It's just, it's different.
05:25How?
05:25I work at the most prestigious news program in the country.
05:28Journalism is dying, and I'm fighting on the front lines of truth.
05:32Yeah, and Fischer-Stassen is the beating heart of the global economy.
05:36So I'm also on the front lines.
05:38So what you're saying is that your stuff is important and mine's stupid?
05:41I mean, Kel, you're a substitute teacher who does weekend acting camp.
05:47It's not acting camp. It's scene study.
05:50And you didn't treat me like this when I was a med student.
05:52Yeah, because you were going to be a doctor, which is like noble and shit.
05:56Oh my God. The 14-year-old girls I teach were right.
05:59Huh? About what?
06:01About men. You two have done nothing but mansplain and gaslight me into thinking that I have no value,
06:05and I've been too de-lulu to see that this is how you move.
06:08What are you saying?
06:09This is like talking to my little sister.
06:11I'm saying that you think I'm a joke. You don't respect me.
06:17I'm out of here.
06:23Actors, am I right?
06:24They're all like that.
06:39I'm out of here.
06:55Hi.
06:58Austin.
07:00Austin.
07:03This is awkward.
07:05Abby, this is Stella.
07:07Hi.
07:08Well, I'm going to go see if BJ Novak has any more shroom and chocolate.
07:15Got your text.
07:17I am so sorry you had to see that.
07:20I hope it didn't make you feel some kind of way.
07:23No, it didn't.
07:25What's up?
07:26I booked a huge campaign, and I want you to style me for it.
07:29Oh, my God. For who? Dior? Balenciaga? Tom Brown?
07:32No. For ketamine.
07:35The drug?
07:35Mm-hmm.
07:37It's an anti-ketamine PSA for the Ad Council.
07:39So will you do it?
07:40Yes. Oh, my God. Of course. Thank you. Thank you so much.
07:46You know, I could ask Stella to leave.
07:49No, that won't be necessary.
07:53So I guess BJ Novak left.
07:55He has a book reading in the morning.
07:58Okay, I'm going to go.
08:00Austin, thank you so much.
08:02Stella, I hope you find the drugs you're looking for.
08:04Aw, thank you.
08:05No, I don't want to go as you leave me hide.
08:11Which one of these outfits makes you want to do ketamine?
08:14And more importantly, which one doesn't?
08:16Uh, the purple one?
08:19Hmm.
08:19I don't know. I've never done drugs before.
08:21I think I would like them too much.
08:27Hey.
08:28Hi. I have a request.
08:30Did you lock yourself out because I lost your spare key a long time ago?
08:32No, nope, nope. That's not it.
08:35I had a falling out earlier with Davis and Josh.
08:38I can't stay there anymore. By any chance, could I crash here until I find a place?
08:41Why? Your family lives in the city.
08:43Yeah, but they're not speaking to me.
08:45As I'm hearing myself, it seems like everyone in my life hates me.
08:48But I'm normal, I swear.
08:49This is sad. So sad.
08:52I can hear you. But you're right. It is.
08:55Look, you won't even notice I'm here. I mean, I go to bed early. I'll pitch in for rent.
09:00What do you think?
09:01I'm always at work, right?
09:04Doing other things. So, I don't really care.
09:07All right. You can sleep on the couch. And the kitchen sink is your sink.
09:11Got it. Thank you.
09:13Roomies!
09:33So close.
09:34Hey, so I guess Kel's staying at the girls? Such a bummer. I mean, do we just go halvesies on
09:39rent now?
09:40Rent? You're worried about freaking rent? Look at this place. What if we have another apartment emergency?
09:44Kel's the responsible one. I'm a bon vivant. And you're a man-child.
09:48An apartment emergency? What are you even talking about?
09:51I don't know. Like, another fire? Or worse, an intruder?
09:54I can take care of an intruder. You? If anyone's going to have to fight off an intruder, it'll obviously
09:59have to be me.
09:59Please, I could pin you in like six seconds.
10:01I could pin you in six seconds.
10:05All right, then pin me.
10:06You didn't give me a fair start!
10:09I'm winning, dude.
10:11I'm winning.
10:12You're trying to bite me?
10:13There's no biting.
10:14Why are your hands so soft?
10:15I used night cream, you kids, man.
10:21Dude, my back.
10:25Maybe we should get an alarm.
10:27More coffee?
10:28Why, thank you.
10:29You're welcome.
10:30And thank you for making these incredible muffins, Kel.
10:32Did you sleep okay?
10:33Oh my god, yes.
10:35The couch is so comfy and there's no crumbs in the grooves.
10:37We vacuum it once a week.
10:39You own a vacuum?
10:40We own two.
10:42What is this place?
10:44An idiot-free zone.
10:52Hi, Abby Tilkori.
10:54I'm here to pull for Austin Blanchett.
10:56He's doing a big ketamine campaign.
10:58Oh, that's so dope.
10:59I love ketamine.
11:00You style Austin Blanchett?
11:02No way.
11:03Oh my god, Nikki Campbell, I love you.
11:06I'm obsessed with your fashion critiques.
11:07I'm Abby, by the way.
11:09So you're responsible for Austin's fashion glow-up.
11:11He's been serving look after look.
11:13That means literally everything coming from you.
11:15Yes, it does.
11:17You know, we actually have a group chat for people of color and fashion.
11:19I'm a people of color and fashion.
11:21I'll add you to it.
11:22Shut up.
11:24Never.
11:31Hey.
11:32Hey.
11:33Did you remember my glasses?
11:35What?
11:35Shit.
11:36No, I forgot.
11:37With all the Kel drama, it slipped my mind.
11:38It's fine.
11:39I'll just continue to work in my prescription sunglasses.
11:41It's like, yes, Kel, I don't do the dishes.
11:44But it's because I contribute in other ways.
11:46Like, I order our toilet paper on my family's Amazon account.
11:50Right.
11:52So, I have some fun news.
11:53Yeah?
11:54Fuck.
11:54Sorry.
11:55David's messed up my back and the pain is spreading to my butt and my neck.
11:58I need to lay down on the floor.
12:07Beavis, we cannot help but notice your small, sad mustache.
12:11My roommate moved out and took our razor.
12:14This is why you never ask about his personal life.
12:18Will I see you tonight?
12:20Yes.
12:21How is he?
12:22Who?
12:23Kel.
12:23Oh, he's good.
12:25He made his muffins.
12:26His famous Monday muffins?
12:27Mm-hmm.
12:27Well, don't get used to it.
12:29Because he'll leave you as soon as you do nothing.
12:31Again, we don't need to hear about your personal life.
12:33I would give you money for a razor.
12:37I don't remember which brand Kel buys us.
12:41Oh, boy.
12:45Here, shoes.
12:46Oh, great.
12:47Can you bag these up and put them at the counter for me, please?
12:49No.
12:50And you're no longer welcome here.
12:52Vanessa told me everything.
12:53I've known her since Parsons.
12:54We both dated Jim Parsons when we were at RISD.
12:57But loyalty may not mean anything to you, but it does to me.
13:01Please leave.
13:11Um.
13:13Can I at least still be on the group chat?
13:15Look, you'll be on it.
13:17It's not in the way you want.
13:31Oh, man.
13:33I'm so tired.
13:35I can barely keep my eyes open.
13:37Oh, oh, hey, hey, hey.
13:38Are you okay?
13:39Why are you so tired?
13:41Shit, you don't have mono, do you?
13:42No, your bed is just so comfortable.
13:45It must be amazing to wake up in it every day.
13:48Oh.
13:49I don't know.
13:50It just came with the apartment.
13:53So, should I call a car, or?
13:58No.
13:59No, please.
14:03I'll call you one.
14:05You just rest right there until the rise.
14:21Damn, what'd those plates do to piss you off?
14:24Oh, I've had such a shitty day.
14:26Well, you're going to wake the whole building up.
14:27Here, let me help.
14:29Are you sure?
14:30Yeah, gotcha.
14:32Okay.
14:43That's very thoughtful of you.
14:46Hey, are you dating anybody?
14:48No, no, not at the moment.
14:51Because I have the perfect person for you.
14:53This girl, Liza.
14:54I mean, she's crazy, but guys seem to think it's worth it.
14:57Uh, thanks, Abby.
14:58But I think I can find someone on my own.
15:03Hey.
15:05Hi, you're home.
15:07Uh, yeah.
15:09Cool.
15:10Well, there's leftovers in the fridge if you're hungry.
15:13Okay, thanks.
15:15Of course, good night.
15:16Good night.
15:20Kill me.
15:22What the hell was that?
15:24You don't like leftovers?
15:25No, I love leftovers.
15:26What was that tone on?
15:28Oh, you're home.
15:30There was a tone?
15:30Yes, Kel.
15:31And the tone was judgment.
15:33And I am sick of judging me and my relationship.
15:36Yeah, she mentioned you were seeing someone.
15:38She always assumes the worst.
15:39And now she's in my head, making me paranoid.
15:41Why is she like this?
15:43That's crazy.
15:44Friends should be supportive.
15:46Exactly.
15:47You get it.
15:49Well, I'm just going to get ready for bed.
15:55Good talk.
15:57I'm in here.
15:59I can't believe AJ came home late again.
16:03This guy won't even let her stay overnight.
16:05How can she not say he's using her?
16:07Look, I know she's annoyed with me,
16:08but I'm just trying to help her make good decisions.
16:11Totally.
16:12Friends should be supportive.
16:13Yes.
16:15You get it.
16:30Donut holes.
16:31Oh.
16:31Yeah.
16:32People really love these things, huh?
16:34By the time I got to them, they were almost gone.
16:36What's the occasion?
16:36Did we get another Peabody Nom?
16:38Nope.
16:39They're for Elena's last day.
16:41Last day?
16:42Okay.
16:44Okay.
16:46Elena.
16:47You're leaving the show?
16:48Yeah, I got promoted.
16:50I'm the network's new associate manager of content and acquisitions.
16:54What?
16:54That's like a corporate job.
16:55How?
16:57Also, why?
16:58I realize there's no room for growth for me here,
17:00so I asked your dad to put in a good word for me.
17:03What?
17:03You used my dad?
17:04You also used your dad.
17:06Besides, when I met him,
17:07he said to let him know if I needed anything.
17:09And I needed something.
17:10I mean, I respect the move.
17:11It's actually really smart.
17:13I just wish you hadn't kept it from me.
17:15I tried to tell you, but you were too busy talking about yourself.
17:19I have a lot going on with my roommate stuff.
17:21And there is a big update.
17:24Davis straight up lost my shoehorn.
17:27Josh.
17:30Okay, I hear it.
17:33I'm sorry.
17:34Can I take you to dinner to celebrate?
17:36I don't think so.
17:37Oh, this has been fun.
17:40But my new role is a little more managerial,
17:42and I don't think dating a PA would be a really good look.
17:48I'll see you around.
17:56That comes to $27,329.
17:59Wow.
18:00That's a big number.
18:01Would you like to open a store card for a 5% discount?
18:03Yes!
18:04Whoa.
18:05No one's ever said yes to that before.
18:08Also, I love all these pieces
18:11and plan to keep them all as heirlooms for my children.
18:13But what's your return policy?
18:16We accept returns within 30 days.
18:18Unworn.
18:21Great.
18:27Quick reminder, whoever's home last,
18:29please deadbolt the door.
18:32Okay, so Abby's text is clearly about me.
18:36Thumbs up.
18:37Passive-aggressive much?
18:41Hey, hey.
18:42Can one of you tell me what's happening here?
18:44What's wrong with a thumbs up?
18:45Thumbs upping a text is really bad.
18:47It's, like, violent.
18:48What?
18:49Why?
18:49Doesn't it just mean, like, okay, got it?
18:50No, a thumbs up means,
18:52I hate you, kill yourself.
18:53A heart means, okay, got it.
18:55And it's the only acceptable reaction.
18:57There's a lot of subtext here.
18:59The girls on this chain
19:00are clearly going through something serious.
19:01Sorry.
19:02Couldn't help but overhear.
19:04I always find you can't go wrong with a ha-ha.
19:06Yeah, that's fun.
19:07Keep it light.
19:09Idiots.
19:12Did she just call us idiots?
19:13Yeah.
19:14And the worst part is,
19:15we can't say it back.
19:16What happened to the youth?
19:23And Kel's always like,
19:25drink water, Davis.
19:26Eat vegetables, Davis.
19:27Well, guess what?
19:28I haven't had a sip of water
19:29or a veggie since last Friday.
19:31And I'm fine.
19:37Come over tonight.
19:49Can I get a meatball sub
19:50and a bag of potato chips?
19:51Yeah, sure.
19:52Thanks.
19:54Hey, chicken, scissors, salad,
19:56no cheese, no dressing, no cream toss.
19:57Got it.
20:02Ordering a meatball sub
20:03while wearing a white shirt?
20:04It's brave.
20:05I zip my coat all the way up
20:06while I eat.
20:08Are we cool?
20:10You ignored my text.
20:17I would like to see you
20:19beyond just, like, sex.
20:21Okay, we spend 80 hours
20:23a week together at work.
20:24I don't think it's possible
20:25to see each other more.
20:26That's not what I mean.
20:27I get that this needs
20:27to be a secret for now,
20:28but if we're dating,
20:30I need to go on an actual date,
20:31like going out to dinner
20:32and spending the night.
20:34And if that's not possible,
20:35I'm okay with not doing this anymore,
20:36which is a shame
20:38because I really like you.
20:40Now, if you excuse me,
20:42I'm going to find a spot to eat
20:43where the pigeons can't get my sub.
20:56You know, I love strong,
20:58ambitious women making their mark.
21:00So I'm good with Elena getting the job,
21:02but how can she imply I'm self-centered?
21:03That's crazy.
21:05Hey, am I taking the trash to the chute?
21:07I'm a super smeller,
21:08so it's hard for me.
21:09I've just been throwing the bags
21:10out the window
21:10into the dumpster down there.
21:11It's like Dude Perfect.
21:13Oh, great.
21:16This remote is really sticky.
21:18I feel like it wasn't always like this.
21:21Davis!
21:22Go three!
21:26Wait, why haven't you queued up big yet?
21:27We're not watching big.
21:29Why?
21:29Because it's about a 30-something woman
21:31sleeping with a kid
21:32in Tom Hanks' body.
21:33Only a pervert would think that.
21:35It's about the importance
21:35of facing the world
21:36with childlike wonder.
21:37What?
21:37Even in the end,
21:38Elizabeth Perkins is like,
21:39Jesus Christ, what have I done?
21:41Oh my God, you ruined everything.
21:43No wonder Elena dumped you.
21:45You're just jealous of me.
21:46I would never be jealous
21:47of those muscles.
21:48You stretch out this cardigan,
21:50I'll kill you.
21:50I should have thrown that
21:51out the window too.
21:53I'm invoking landlord Rice.
21:55What is going on in here?
21:57Why are you throwing garbage
21:58out the window?
21:58I just got hit in the head
21:59with the heel
22:00of a French bread pizza.
22:01That's Josh.
22:02I had a jar of old sauce for dinner.
22:03Shut up.
22:04Get your shit together
22:05or you're out.
22:06At least the Murray Hill mangler
22:07kept to himself
22:08when he lived here.
22:12Blow out your candles, Laura.
22:15So goodnight.
22:17Wow.
22:19I'm really impressed.
22:20That was so good.
22:21Also, I love this play.
22:22I would totally watch it
22:23if it were an HBO miniseries.
22:24Abby, this acting class
22:25is changing my life.
22:27It's helping me realize
22:27how right I was
22:28to quit med school.
22:29That's so great.
22:30Okay, do you want to
22:31run it again?
22:32Shouldn't we wait for AJ?
22:33I told her she could
22:34read Gentleman Caller.
22:35Yeah, but you don't want
22:36to wait until like 2 a.m.
22:37or whenever her booty call
22:38sends her home.
22:39Okay, yeah, let's do it.
22:40It's like, get a backbone, AJ.
22:42You say you're a feminist
22:43and this is how you let
22:43a man treat you?
22:44Right, right.
22:46I think you have
22:46the first line.
22:47Oh.
22:48You started without me?
22:49I thought I was going
22:49to play Gentleman Caller.
22:51We just didn't know
22:52when you'd be back home.
22:53Yeah, sorry.
22:53It's just Abby said...
22:57Never mind.
22:58Let's stick it from the top.
22:59No, what did Abby say?
23:01I just said,
23:02given that your schedule
23:03is based on the whims
23:04of a man you're seeing,
23:05we didn't know
23:05when you'd be back home.
23:06See, Kel?
23:07This is what we've
23:08been talking about.
23:09You guys have been
23:09talking about me?
23:10Yeah, we were.
23:11Kel and I both feel
23:12you could be less judgmental
23:13and more supportive.
23:14Oh!
23:15That's really interesting, Kel,
23:16because we've been talking
23:17about how AJ might be
23:18a little delusional
23:19in her relationship.
23:20Do you really feel
23:21that way, Kel?
23:22A friend should be supportive.
23:24Whose side are you on, Kel?
23:25Yeah, pick a side, Kel.
23:27I'm not on either side, okay?
23:28Because you guys
23:29are both being really...
23:31And I'm only saying this
23:32because I can't find
23:33another word.
23:34Bitchy.
23:36Excuse me?
23:37You did not just
23:37call us bitchy.
23:38I didn't want to,
23:39but you drove me to it.
23:41Why don't you two
23:41just talk to each other?
23:42Oh, oh, I'm sorry.
23:44Is the little clown
23:45who got kicked out
23:45of his own apartment
23:46telling us how to live?
23:47I didn't get kicked out.
23:48I left.
23:49We took your ass
23:50and off the streets.
23:51Hey, stay, Mr. Josh.
23:53Go away!
23:56Kel, we are so sorry.
23:58We neither recognized
23:58nor respected
23:59all that you do
24:00for our home and friendship.
24:01Apology accepted.
24:04Thanks for your hospitality.
24:05But your bathroom
24:06is a disaster.
24:07No one needs
24:07that many creams.
24:08They're serums!
24:16I'm sorry.
24:16No, I'm sorry.
24:18I should have kept
24:19my opinions to myself.
24:20No, you were right.
24:21And it pushed me
24:22to actually stand up
24:23for myself.
24:23I told Bill
24:24I deserve more
24:25and he invited me
24:27on a real date.
24:28Wait, what?
24:28He texted me earlier
24:29but I just wanted
24:30to clear the air
24:31before I told you.
24:32Okay, tell me
24:32exactly what he said.
24:33He just said
24:34he's taking me on a date
24:35and to meet him downtown
24:36he sent an address.
24:38Oh my God,
24:39a last minute
24:39surprise downtown date.
24:41I am going to
24:41make you look so hot.
24:43And, you know,
24:44if you wanted to
24:45pay me a styling fee
24:46I wouldn't say no.
24:48Wait, why?
24:48I have had
24:49the worst week
24:51and I promised
24:52to tell you
24:52all about it
24:52but you have to
24:53promise not
24:54to wear a tie
24:54on your date.
24:55I think ties are chic
24:56but fine.
25:06So, seriously
25:07nothing happened
25:08with Abby
25:09while you were
25:09living there?
25:10No, man.
25:10She's not into me.
25:13Well, we're glad
25:13to have you back
25:14where you belong.
25:15Right in your couch
25:15indent.
25:16It's good to be back.
25:17But before I turn on the movie
25:18let's set some ground rules.
25:20You will acknowledge
25:21that my job is real
25:22even if it's temporary
25:23and that acting
25:24is a noble profession
25:25and saves as many lives
25:27as being a doctor.
25:28What?
25:28No, I mean, come on.
25:29How about we agree
25:30it saves as many lives
25:31as investment banking?
25:32Fine.
25:34Now let's watch big
25:35which we will also
25:36all agree
25:36is problematic
25:37but fine.
25:39Okay, sure.
25:40I like the piano scene.
25:42Man, the kid stuff
25:43is a little weird.
25:44Okay.
25:51Hey, Kate.
25:53What are you doing later?
25:55Want to hang out?
26:08Whoa.
26:09Whoa?
26:10Why whoa?
26:11Are you going somewhere
26:12after this?
26:13No.
26:14Why?
26:14Are you?
26:15No.
26:15No.
26:16Sorry.
26:17Sorry.
26:17You look incredible.
26:20I'm just worried
26:21you might be
26:22a little overdressed.
26:24Why?
26:25Where are we going?
26:29Yeah.
26:31Okay.
26:32Okay.
26:38I'll stop the world
26:40and melt with you.
26:45I'll stop the world
26:47and melt with you.
26:49This is so exciting.
26:51I didn't realize
26:52Staten Island
26:52had good restaurants.
26:54We are actually
26:56eating here.
26:57What?
26:58What the hell is this?
27:00It's a PB&J.
27:01Bill,
27:02I don't want to be
27:04eating homemade sandwiches
27:05on a ferry.
27:06This is like the start
27:07of an SVU episode.
27:08Okay, I know it's not
27:09the most glamorous
27:10but let me explain.
27:12I lived on Staten Island
27:14when I moved to the city
27:15from Oklahoma
27:18and I took the ferry to work.
27:19I hated how poor I was
27:21and the clothes I wore
27:22and I just wanted to hurry up
27:23and get to the part
27:24where I was successful.
27:25But this,
27:27this was the best part
27:28of the day.
27:29Looking out at the city
27:31and all the promise it held,
27:32as hard as everything else was,
27:35I always look forward to it.
27:40Okay, I take it back.
27:45You know,
27:45I've actually never
27:46told anyone that stuff.
27:49Hey,
27:50are we dating?
27:52Yeah, obviously.
27:53Yeah, but are you like
27:55casting a wide net for data?
27:57What are you
27:58actually asking me right now?
28:00Do you want to date
28:02other people?
28:04You make me not want to.
28:29Don't you want me to wake up?
28:37Oh, my God, man.
28:38I didn't talk to you.
28:39That was really not a good time.
28:42Josh, hey.
28:44Kate, legend.
28:44Good to see you back.
28:46It's good to be back.
28:47Dude, what do you want?
28:48Why are you in my room?
28:49I would leave,
28:50but I have something insane
28:51to tell you.
28:51Whoa, whoa, whoa.
28:52Oh, my God.
28:52What is it?
28:53I love gossip.
28:54It doesn't even have to be
28:54about someone I know.
28:55Sometimes it's more fun
28:56when it isn't.
28:57So, AJ
28:58is seeing someone.
29:00Oh, yeah, yeah.
29:00When I was staying there,
29:01they were talking about
29:02the guy she was seeing
29:02or not seeing.
29:04I forget where it ended.
29:04Okay, well,
29:05did you know
29:05that guy is her boss?
29:07Yeah, Davis' boss.
29:08He's a guy on the mug.
29:10AJ's dating hot mug guy?
29:11Wow, this is huge news,
29:12I assume.
29:13Davis worships Bill.
29:14He's his emergency
29:15contact in his phone.
29:17Ooh.
29:18What are we going to do?
29:19We promised
29:19we wouldn't keep secrets from him.
29:20There's only one thing to do.
29:22A steak and tears.
29:23Whoa, whoa, whoa.
29:24What's a steak and tears?
29:25I am wrapped.
29:26It's this tradition we have
29:27where when one of us
29:27has to deal with some terrible news,
29:28we surprise them with a dinner
29:30at a fancy steakhouse.
29:30Then we let them cry it out
29:31over a T-bone and a million more teas.
29:33By the time the lava cake comes,
29:35the pain's out of their system.
29:36They can go back to being a fun hang.
29:37Basically, we deal with our feelings
29:38the same way Jon Hamm does.
29:39Is that how he deals
29:40with his feelings?
29:41We don't actually know,
29:42but can't you see him doing that?
29:44I can, yeah.
29:45You know,
29:46this conversation feels like
29:47it's reached an end point.
29:48You can go.
29:50Bye, Kate.
29:51Great to see you.
29:51Out!
30:22Happy birthday to you.
30:25And that's all I'll sing
30:26because I know you don't have patience
30:27for that famously short song.
30:29Oh, thanks, Abs.
30:31I feel so seen.
30:33I know,
30:33your mom is coming down
30:34from Boston to celebrate,
30:35but I wanted the chance
30:36to pamper my beautiful baby girl first.
30:38Oh my God,
30:39you made my favorite breakfast.
30:41Protein bar,
30:41black coffee,
30:42and a hard copy
30:43Wall Street Journal.
30:44Okay,
30:45so what does Bill have planned?
30:47I actually didn't tell him
30:48it was my birthday.
30:49What?
30:50That's like the whole point
30:51of dating a rich guy.
30:53You need to give him time
30:53to ask his secretary
30:54to buy you jewels.
30:55Things are going great.
30:56I didn't want to give him
30:57the impossible challenge
30:58of buying a birthday gift
30:59for a new girlfriend.
31:00AJ,
31:01why do you let him off the hook?
31:02You know,
31:03I had to go to a newsstand
31:04in Penn Station
31:05for this grandpa shit.
31:07Open up,
31:08it's the drug police.
31:10I was just kidding,
31:12it's me.
31:12I'm not the drug police.
31:14I've been watching Ozark.
31:15Hi, Mom.
31:16Welcome to New York.
31:17Oh,
31:17happy birthday, baby.
31:19Look at you,
31:20all grown up.
31:22You look like
31:22one of those stewardesses
31:23that only does first class.
31:25Abby,
31:25get over here.
31:27It's so good
31:28to see you,
31:28Mrs. P.
31:29I know,
31:30you may not have the time
31:31and so no pressure,
31:32but brows,
31:32but bikini,
31:33get on it.
31:34I brought my kid
31:35and I just got
31:35a new type of wax.
31:37I'm so excited
31:38you're here, Mom.
31:38Need anything
31:39before I go to work?
31:40Don't worry about me,
31:41busy lady.
31:41When you're off work,
31:42we can go see Chicago.
31:44Ashley Simpson
31:44is playing Roxy.
31:45I commented on her Insta
31:46that we'll be waiting
31:47at the stage door.
31:49I don't think
31:50I can see a show.
31:51I don't get off work
31:52until 9.30.
31:539.30?
31:54You have to work late
31:55on your birthday?
31:56We work that late
31:57every day.
31:57But I promise
31:58we will do
31:59a special dinner tomorrow.
32:01But tomorrow's
32:01not your birthday.
32:02Mom,
32:02I know it's not ideal,
32:03but, you know,
32:04the best gift
32:05is that you're here.
32:06Second best.
32:07When you see your present.
32:12All that jazz.
32:14Well, we were supposed
32:15to wear those
32:15to Chicago.
32:16Abby gets it.
32:17She's a fashion person.
32:18Stunning.
32:19Thank you, Mom.
32:20I love it.
32:24Oh, hey.
32:25I couldn't find
32:25my toothbrush this morning,
32:26so I used yours, Josh.
32:28And then I thought,
32:29this isn't cool.
32:30So I used Cal's
32:31to even it out.
32:31Wait, so you used
32:32both of our toothbrushes?
32:33Exactly.
32:34Okay.
32:34Well, uh,
32:37Cal and I were thinking
32:37we should all
32:38get dinner together.
32:39Oh, hell yeah.
32:40No, this could not
32:40have come at a better time.
32:41When I work from home,
32:43I just long for
32:44human connection.
32:44Oh, whoa.
32:45Where are your pants?
32:46I'm on a deal
32:46with a client from New Zealand.
32:47Because of the time difference,
32:49I'm full stay-at-home Davis.
32:51Bare legs,
32:51basketball on mute,
32:52and taking little naps
32:53in your beds
32:54like Goldilocks.
32:55No, no, no, no, no.
32:55You need more fabric
32:56between your ass
32:57and that couch.
32:57Hey!
32:58And we've made contact.
32:59Oh, come on!
33:04Now, people always say
33:05Mansfield Park
33:06isn't one of
33:07Jane Austen's bangers,
33:08but respectfully,
33:09Fanny Price
33:11is low-key that bitch.
33:12Now, we are about
33:14to take a journey
33:14into the English
33:15countryside of 1806.
33:17Yes, Beth?
33:18We need to talk
33:19about the Winter Formal.
33:20My boyfriend Rocco
33:21will be attending,
33:22and he's bringing
33:23his crew from Collegiate.
33:24Oh, okay.
33:25What's up
33:26with the Collegiate guys?
33:27They're all smoke shows,
33:28and their parents
33:28give them HG8 shots,
33:29so I'll need everyone
33:30to step it up.
33:32I want to see
33:32professional hair
33:33and makeup,
33:34I want to see tanning
33:35when ethnically appropriate,
33:36and I want to see
33:37a statement piece
33:38where...
33:38Jeremy O'Harris
33:39announces auditions
33:40for his highly-anticipated
33:41new Broadway play.
33:42Casting for Lees
33:43and large, diverse ensemble
33:44will begin today.
33:45Holy shit.
33:46Holy shit is right, Kel.
33:47I need everyone's outfits
33:48to scream
33:48quiet luxury.
33:50Wait, where the hell
33:51are Sarah and Marina?
33:52Oh, they're out sick.
33:53I got an email
33:53from both their moms.
33:54Ugh, fine.
33:55I'll just give this
33:56exact same announcement
33:57again tomorrow
33:57when they get back.
33:59Hey!
34:00Mom, how's
34:00the redecorating going?
34:01Which wallpaper did you pick?
34:03The hummingbirds
34:03or the koi?
34:05Wait,
34:06why are you crying?
34:09Dad did what?
34:12What the hell?
34:13You're leaving, Mom?
34:15Josh, sweetheart,
34:16you have to understand,
34:17your mother
34:17already left me
34:19years ago,
34:19emotionally.
34:20No, she didn't.
34:21I was there.
34:22She's still
34:22super into you.
34:23She got her eyelids
34:24done for you.
34:25No, I know.
34:26Her eyes are always
34:26so dry now.
34:27Every room in the house
34:28has her disgusting
34:29little eye drops
34:30in them.
34:30That is not grounds
34:31for divorce.
34:33What is really
34:34going on here?
34:35Remember when I had
34:36my portrait commissioned
34:37last year?
34:38Well, it came back
34:39last week,
34:40and Josh,
34:41I look great.
34:43Tanned,
34:44fit,
34:44like a Cuomo brother,
34:45while your mother
34:46looks,
34:48um,
34:49distinguished.
34:50Oh, my God.
34:52You're leaving Mom
34:52because she's
34:53too old?
34:54She's way
34:55younger than you.
34:56It's not because
34:57your mother's old.
34:58It's because she
34:59makes me feel old.
35:01That's the same thing.
35:02I know this is hard
35:03for you, son,
35:04but today is the day
35:06you realize
35:06your father is
35:08just a man.
35:09Not Superman,
35:10not Spider-Man,
35:11more like Iron Man.
35:12Handsome,
35:13irreverent,
35:13house in Malibu,
35:14needs a piece of
35:15equipment to keep
35:15his heart beating.
35:16I just don't understand.
35:17This is why you're
35:18throwing away
35:19a 30-year marriage?
35:21I'll always
35:21love your mother.
35:22But it's time
35:23for me to move on.
35:24Oh, and do you still
35:26have your cute
35:26high school
35:27English teacher's
35:27email?
35:28She and I
35:28had real chemistry.
35:30Okay.
35:31I'm going.
35:32Oh, all right.
35:33Okay, sweetie.
35:44My ad!
35:45My ad!
35:46Oh, my God!
35:47I love that shirt.
35:49I want that look.
35:50I'd be the hottest
35:50hospice nurse on the floor.
35:52Why are you so
35:53concerned with how
35:53you look at work?
35:54Okay, why are you
35:55so mad when I'm
35:56talking about a shirt?
35:56The shirt is
35:57Rafe Calder's
35:57Spring Summer 26.
35:59Okay, that was
36:00a private conversation.
36:01Sorry, it's just
36:01I styled this
36:02and I'm really proud
36:03of it.
36:03Wait, I can find
36:04you a link.
36:05Oh, my God!
36:06Oh, my God!
36:07It's sold out!
36:08That's great news!
36:09For you,
36:10that was so unhopeful.
36:11Sorry.
36:12Wait.
36:13I'm going to go now.
36:22I'm sorry, but I don't
36:23have a Kel Washington
36:24on my list.
36:25I think that's probably
36:26because I'm not.
36:28Yeah, Stevie,
36:29can you come up here?
36:30We have another
36:30audition crasher.
36:31Copy.
36:32Please, I'm obsessed
36:34with Jeremy O'Harris
36:35and the press release
36:35says you're looking
36:36for diverse ensemble.
36:37I'm hella diverse.
36:39Yeah, you do have
36:39a good look.
36:40You know, I once
36:41was an actor
36:41and I used to think
36:42if one person,
36:43one gatekeeper
36:44could let me through,
36:45then I would just
36:45blow them away.
36:46Exactly!
36:47Yeah, but nobody
36:48did that for me,
36:48so I'm not doing
36:49that for you.
36:49We only take auditions
36:50booked by agents.
36:51So, scram.
36:52Next!
36:54Right now.
36:54Oh, okay.
36:55Okay.
36:58I cannot believe
36:59we got to see
37:00Phillip a suit
37:01in Hamilton.
37:01I never thought
37:02I'd see her perform.
37:03Wait, Sarah Marina?
37:04Oh my God,
37:05it's Mr. Washington.
37:07Your acting is terrible.
37:08Come here.
37:09You guys played hooky?
37:10You missed
37:10a great lesson today.
37:12I'm sorry,
37:12but we didn't have a choice.
37:13Phillip a suit
37:14was only sitting in
37:15for this one performance.
37:16I can't believe
37:16you impersonated
37:17your moms
37:17to get out of school.
37:18I should have known.
37:19Those emails
37:19used way too many emojis.
37:21I guess I did
37:21use a lot of hearts.
37:22Well, I'm gonna have
37:23to tell your parents
37:23and the school about this.
37:24Please don't get us
37:25in trouble, Mr. W.
37:26We did this
37:27because it was
37:28the only way.
37:29Haven't you ever
37:30needed something
37:30so badly
37:31that you told
37:32a little lie?
37:33Come on, let's go.
37:39What do you mean
37:39you need to fly
37:40this up the flagpole?
37:41Greg, no.
37:42This isn't a school project.
37:43It's a $50 million deal.
37:45So just take a deep breath
37:46and do your job.
37:48Pasquarelli,
37:48hey, get the updated models.
37:50On it.
37:52Happy birthday
37:54to you.
37:57Happy birthday
37:58to you.
37:59I'm not a cop.
38:01Happy birthday,
38:02dear AJ.
38:03Mom,
38:04what are you doing here?
38:05I said we'd hang out tomorrow.
38:06And we will,
38:07but it's your birthday
38:08and everybody deserves
38:09a birthday surprise.
38:11Now, who wants cake?
38:12Could somebody be a doll
38:13and cut this for me?
38:14I love her.
38:15Hey, what the fuck
38:16is going on?
38:16We're on a call.
38:17This is a workplace.
38:18Excuse me,
38:19nobody talks to me that way.
38:20In your Brooks Brothers suit
38:21and your skinny little tie.
38:23Mom, stop.
38:23Bill,
38:24this is my mom.
38:25She just brought me
38:27a cake for my birthday.
38:30Oh.
38:31Okay.
38:32Well, happy birthday,
38:34AJ.
38:34With the CFO of Spanx,
38:35doesn't need to know about this.
38:38Hey.
38:39Yeah, sorry about that.
38:40I know he's your boss, AJ,
38:41but that guy could give your dad
38:43a run for his money
38:43in the asshole department.
38:52Look, I know we ordered
38:53six stuffed mushrooms
38:54and these two are for Josh,
38:55but if we told him
38:56it was an order of three,
38:57I could eat one more
38:58and he would never know.
38:59Yeah, whatever.
39:00Look, I need to ask you a favor
39:01and it's really unethical
39:02so it's completely okay
39:03if you say no.
39:04Okay, what is it?
39:05I need you to pretend
39:06to be my agent
39:06and get me an audition.
39:08Uh, yeah, of course I'll do that.
39:09Yeah?
39:10I'm an investment banker.
39:11You think I don't know
39:11how to be unethical?
39:12It looks like we both
39:13like to be bad sometimes.
39:15I'm just glad this didn't end up
39:16being a stake in tears tonight.
39:18I was getting suspicious.
39:19Yeah, yeah,
39:20we should really wait for Josh.
39:22Wait, this is a stake in tears?
39:24Why?
39:25Did you beat the new Zelda without me?
39:26I would kill myself.
39:27Josh, finally.
39:28Is someone gonna tell me
39:28what the hell's going on here?
39:29Okay, Davis,
39:30I can't lie to you,
39:31this is a stake in tears
39:32because my dad is leaving my mom.
39:35Oh my God.
39:36Yeah.
39:36I'm so sorry.
39:37Yeah, no wonder
39:38you needed your boys tonight.
39:39Let's get you a passion fruit
39:40Cosmo Stab.
39:41Your favorite drink
39:41will tear you up.
39:43I can't believe
39:43the nursing mom.
39:47Mom,
39:48what the hell was that?
39:49You can't just barge
39:50into my work.
39:51Fisher Stassen
39:51is the premier investment bank
39:53in New York City.
39:53I don't care
39:54if it's Fisher Stassen
39:56and Big Papi.
39:57Manners are manners.
39:58You don't get it.
39:59Places like this
39:59don't usually take people like me.
40:01I can't mess this up.
40:02People like you?
40:03Do you hear yourself?
40:05I'm sorry, honey.
40:06I just don't understand
40:07a workplace that won't let you
40:08have cake on your birthday
40:09or go have dinner with your mother.
40:10Where's the humanity in that?
40:11You don't get it
40:12because you don't have a career.
40:13You have a job.
40:18I guess that's true.
40:20I know you work with
40:21a bunch of dickholes.
40:22I just didn't know
40:22you would become one too.
40:24Mom.
40:25Enjoy it now.
40:26One day they'll hate you
40:27for no reason.
40:36I just thought
40:37my dad was a perfect guy.
40:38The career,
40:39the looks,
40:40his beautiful laugh.
40:42Was I wrong?
40:45Wait, why aren't you telling me
40:46my dad is awesome?
40:47I don't want to talk shit
40:48about your dad.
40:49He did take us on his yacht.
40:51Yes, see?
40:51That was fun.
40:52Was it, though?
40:53Because I tried to do
40:54the king of the world
40:55and he pushed me overboard
40:56and called me gay.
40:57You got the picture?
40:58Okay, but remember
40:59in high school
40:59at the start of every year
41:00he'd always say
41:01which girls filled out
41:02the most during summer?
41:04Ah, that wasn't great.
41:05Yeah.
41:06Wait, when I was in sixth grade
41:08I was a little chubby
41:09so my dad and I
41:10had this inside joke
41:11where he called me
41:12Miss Piggy.
41:15Sorry.
41:16Just fucked up.
41:17Anyway,
41:17I thought it was funny
41:19at the time.
41:21Oh my God.
41:23My dad is a dick.
41:26It's okay, buddy.
41:28I don't know.
41:29Garcon!
41:30More napkins.
41:32And more stuffed mushrooms.
41:33I don't know.
41:34I don't know.
41:43Thanks for eating out here with me.
41:45I didn't want to wake up my mom
41:46and have her yell at me again.
41:48You're too hard on her.
41:49Like, at least she's fun.
41:51For my birthday,
41:52my mom forgot my birthday.
41:54Motherfucker!
41:56Josh, what are you doing?
41:58Throwing my dad's stupid sweaters away?
42:00He's leaving my mom.
42:02Oh, I'm so sorry.
42:03Is that sweater Laura Piana?
42:05Are you nuts?
42:06I don't want a trace of him in my life.
42:08They were this perfect couple
42:10married for 30 years.
42:12Three beautiful children.
42:13Yeah, it sucks.
42:14My dad left when I was two.
42:16Respectfully,
42:17I think my situation is sadder
42:18because I'm so aware
42:19of everything that's happening to me.
42:21Fuck you, dad.
42:23Fuck you for this turmoil within.
42:25I don't need this fancy watch.
42:27Wait, wait, wait.
42:27I do, I do, I do.
42:28I'll take it.
42:29We'll make you happy.
42:31Girl, that's my hate.
42:32It's so nice.
42:36I don't know, Davis.
42:37I'm second-guessing you
42:38pretending to be my agent.
42:39We can't turn back now, Kel.
42:41I'm already in character.
42:42Where'd you get that hat?
42:43I borrowed it from Josh.
42:44His grandpa died in it.
42:46Hello, this is Chaz Riviera
42:47from the Riviera Agency,
42:48and I have a client I'd like to send in
42:50to audition for
42:50Jeremy Harris' new play.
42:52Jeremy O. Harris.
42:53Sorry, Jeremy O. Harris.
42:55A fellow Irishman, I presume.
42:58Look, I represent a lot of A-list clients,
43:00but I'm calling about
43:01the most exciting young actor
43:02you probably haven't heard of,
43:04the wickedly talented,
43:05one and only,
43:06Kel Washington.
43:08Uh-huh.
43:09Uh-huh.
43:10Uh-huh.
43:11What did I say?
43:11Well, it sounds like Kel
43:12would be perfect for this,
43:13and honestly,
43:14when you see his headshot,
43:15you're gonna cream your jeans.
43:16So I'll go ahead and send over his info
43:17if you can just get back to me
43:18about that audition slot.
43:20Perfect.
43:20I have to go to lunch
43:21with Benicio Del Toro and Leo Decaps,
43:22but I'll have my assistant,
43:23Josh Teitelbaum,
43:24send over Kel's materials
43:25ASAP.
43:26Rocky, another client.
43:28Bye-bye.
43:29Sounds like it went well?
43:31Uh, baby,
43:31when you're Chaz Riviera,
43:33things don't go well.
43:34They go off.
43:35Okay, you can drop the character now, Davis.
43:37Who's Davis?
43:39Don't forget my 10%.
43:40Cheers.
43:47Oh, wow.
43:48Sorry, I'll never get used to seeing your costume
43:50for this George Washington movie.
43:52Well, technically, it's Martha's movie.
43:54I mostly just chase her through hanging laundry.
43:56Right.
43:57So what's up?
43:57Well, as they say in colonial times,
43:59what news?
44:00We're ready for you on set.
44:02Will you walk with me?
44:02Of course.
44:03So, as you know,
44:05your ketamine ad is blowing up.
44:07The Rafe Calder shirt I put you in
44:08has sold out everywhere.
44:10Oh, great.
44:11Yeah.
44:11And I had a really crazy idea
44:13from back when I was an assistant.
44:15I know Rafe's favorite lunch spot.
44:17So I thought I would go there
44:19and pitch you to him
44:20as a brand ambassador.
44:21Hmm.
44:22Interesting.
44:23Interesting?
44:23Or like the most amazing idea I've ever had?
44:25I don't know if I'd go that far,
44:27but if you're excited,
44:28I'm excited.
44:29Okay.
44:29We've really got to go.
44:30They're all set up for the cherry tree stunt.
44:32Oh, that's the biggie.
44:34Great.
44:34I will let you know how it goes with Rafe.
44:36Who?
44:37Rafe Calder,
44:39the designer I mentioned
44:40in like two seconds ago.
44:41Oh, yeah, right.
44:42Cool.
44:43Rafe.
44:44Bye.
44:44Good morrow.
44:46Good morrow.
44:52Motherfucker!
44:53Fuck!
44:54Uh, hello, ma'am?
44:56Are you okay?
44:57No, I'm not.
44:59I was trying to leave
44:59my daughter's place in a huff
45:01and I left my HRT meds
45:02on the bathroom counter
45:03and I don't have the keys
45:04and I'm too proud to text her at work
45:06because she was being such a bitch.
45:08Wait a minute, are you...
45:09Are you AJ's mom?
45:11Yeah.
45:14Amy, how'd you know?
45:15Uh, maybe the Boston of it all.
45:17AJ and I actually work together.
45:19I also recognize you
45:19from your many, many comments
45:21on her Instagram account.
45:22It seems that you sometimes think
45:24the comments are DMs.
45:25Yeah, I'm just a stupid moron
45:27who doesn't know how to do anything, okay?
45:28Oh, no, I'm not...
45:30Do you want some help?
45:32Sure.
45:33If you can tell me
45:35what's going on with this outfit.
45:36Yes, no, I can...
45:37Yes, I'll explain.
45:39Who's next?
45:40Kel Washington?
45:43That's me.
45:43Hi.
45:44Mr. O'Harris,
45:45can I just say
45:46it's an honor to be here?
45:47It means a lot to me
45:48and my team
45:48at the Riviera Agency.
45:49Yeah, I'm going to stop you
45:50right there.
45:51We know you don't have an agent.
45:53You do?
45:54Yeah.
45:55Whoever called casting
45:55was clearly a psychopath.
45:57I'm so sorry.
45:58I don't know what I was thinking.
45:59I was desperate.
46:00Oh, my God.
46:00Did you call me in
46:01just to publicly humiliate me?
46:03I'll take it.
46:04I deserve it.
46:05No, listen.
46:06I saw your material
46:07and I liked what I saw.
46:08So I figured,
46:08why not give you a chance?
46:09Wait, really?
46:12That's incredible.
46:13I promise,
46:13if you cast me,
46:14I swear I will never lie to you again.
46:16Okay, bring it down.
46:17I'm a scammer, too.
46:19At the beginning of my career,
46:20I had to beg, borrow, and steal
46:20to get any of my work put up.
46:22But I never let anyone
46:22or anything stand in my way.
46:24You shouldn't either.
46:26All right, um, Kel.
46:28That is your real name, right?
46:29Yeah.
46:30Okay.
46:30Let's see what you got.
46:31Okay.
46:32Let's see what you got.
46:45Oh, excuse me.
46:46Can you grab me some more butter
46:47for this sourdough?
46:48A fly landed in it
46:49and flew off without its head.
46:50Oh, I'm not a server.
46:52I'm Abby.
46:52I used to work for Vanessa Shue.
46:54Oh, yeah.
46:55I love her.
46:55She's such a huge bitch.
46:57Yes.
46:58She's a big personality.
47:00Sorry, why are you talking to me?
47:01I recently styled Austin Blanchett
47:03in one of your shirts
47:04and it immediately sold out
47:05on your website.
47:06Really?
47:07Mm-hmm.
47:07I couldn't give those shirts away.
47:08We were about to dump them
47:09in a donation bin for textiles.
47:12That's great.
47:12Sustainability means a lot to me, too.
47:14Point is,
47:15Austin looks great in your clothes
47:16and would be a perfect brand ambassador.
47:18Well, calm down, little girl.
47:20You didn't invent the idea
47:21of brand ambassador
47:22and no shit, Austin looks great
47:24in her clothes.
47:24But I will say it's interesting
47:26that he would be open
47:26to something like this.
47:27I mean, he's always been so cagey
47:28about fashion,
47:29which, of course,
47:30makes me want to work
47:31with him even more.
47:33So you will think about it?
47:35Yes, I will.
47:36That's great.
47:38Now, if you could just excuse me,
47:39I don't want anyone to see
47:41what I'm about to do
47:41to these fries.
47:42Of course.
47:46And AJ just yells at me
47:48in front of the entire office.
47:49It was so embarrassing.
47:51I just wanted to surprise her
47:52for her birthday
47:53with a cake and a song
47:54and a bunch of balloons.
47:56Oof.
47:57Yeah, I can see how that
47:58wouldn't go over well.
47:59But I get it.
48:00I'm a big gesture guy, too.
48:02Yeah?
48:02Yeah.
48:02I once surprised a girl
48:03on her family trip to Yosemite.
48:06Walked right into a face
48:06full of her grandpa's ashes.
48:08Oh.
48:08Yeah.
48:09I just don't get away anyone
48:11but want to work
48:12at a place like that.
48:13Totally.
48:13Our office is kind of uptight.
48:15But I'm sure AJ feels terrible
48:16about yelling at you.
48:17In her defense,
48:18we're always under
48:19so much pressure.
48:20You should be proud, though.
48:21I mean, AJ is, like,
48:22killing it.
48:24You know,
48:26AJ's been telling me
48:27she likes a guy at work.
48:28Now I think I know
48:29who she's talking about.
48:32Whoa.
48:33Anyway,
48:34could I wait at your place
48:35until the girls get back?
48:37It would be my honor.
48:45What's going on
48:46in Wes's office?
48:47Did they overpluck
48:48his eyebrows again?
48:49No, he's in there
48:49with your dad.
48:50My dad?
48:51He doesn't want the network
48:52to report on his divorce.
48:54Of course,
48:54I wholeheartedly agree.
48:56Your personal business
48:57isn't news.
48:58Oh, thank you
48:58for understanding.
49:00Oh, good job, everybody.
49:02Keep doing
49:03what you're doing.
49:04Whoops.
49:05Oh, okay.
49:06Have a good show tonight.
49:08Hey,
49:08did you see
49:09what you just did?
49:10You just spilled coffee
49:11all over Warren's desk.
49:14Oh.
49:15Sorry there, Chief.
49:17Are you going to clean it up?
49:21No need, David.
49:22We'll take care of that.
49:23Warren?
49:25Absolutely.
49:25I hate this sweater anyway,
49:27so it's perfect.
49:28No, no, no.
49:29My son's right.
49:30And I appreciate him
49:31pointing it out.
49:32I made a mess.
49:33I'll clean it up.
49:40Blot, blot, blot, blot, blot, blot.
49:42And blot.
49:44Good as new.
49:46Some of it
49:47dripped on the floor.
49:57Man of the people, everyone.
50:00Shall we?
50:02And that is one.
50:03You're so beloved.
50:04Such humility.
50:13Thanks for hanging back, you two.
50:14Please,
50:15if you're going to punish us
50:16for ditching,
50:16can we just get it over with?
50:17When my parents find out,
50:18they're going to make me
50:19real, real, my little boo-boo.
50:21I don't know what you just said,
50:22but I've thought it over,
50:23and I've decided
50:24to look the other way.
50:26Wait, really?
50:27Yes, just this once.
50:29Sometimes it's okay
50:30to bend the rules a little,
50:30especially when you're doing it
50:31to follow your passion.
50:32Yes, exactly.
50:33That is why we did it.
50:35I mean, we also went
50:35thrifting and got boba,
50:37and we went to the cat's eye pop-up.
50:38La, la, la, la, la,
50:39don't tell me that stuff.
50:40You're all good this time.
50:41Just don't do it again.
50:43We won't.
50:44Thanks, Mr. Washington.
50:45You're actually okay.
50:46As much as I'd love to bask in the glow
50:48of that enormous compliment,
50:49I've got to take this.
50:50Excuse me.
50:51You?
50:52Bad news, man.
50:53You didn't get the lead
50:54in Jeremy's play.
50:55They gave it to some guy,
50:56L.A. Keith Stanfield.
50:58Uh, forget L.A. Keith.
50:59How about give it to New York Kel?
51:01It's Lakeith Stanfield,
51:03and he's a genius.
51:04No genius would choose
51:05to live in L.A.,
51:06you know that.
51:07Yeah, well, anyway,
51:08it's okay, I tried.
51:09No, it's not okay.
51:10It's bullshit.
51:11Davis, you're a great agent.
51:13It's Chaz.
51:15Chaz, it's really great
51:16that I even got the audition.
51:17Oh, they did offer you
51:19this other part
51:19that only has, like, two lines,
51:21but my boy deserves the best,
51:22so I'm gonna go tell him
51:23to fuck himself's cool.
51:24Wait, wait, wait, what?
51:25I got a part?
51:26I'm gonna be on Broadway?
51:28Uh, it's a really small part,
51:30but okay.
51:31If baby's happy,
51:33Chaz is happy.
51:33Yeah, I'm happy, I'm happy.
51:35I got a part!
51:37Sorry.
51:38Go to class, girls.
51:41When I wake up in the morning,
51:45the very first thing I do
51:51is I don't think I'd even celebrate.
51:52Oh, hey.
51:56Mom, look, I'm really sorry.
51:59I had no business talking to you like that,
52:01and I'm so excited you're here.
52:03If you weren't,
52:04I don't think I'd even celebrate.
52:07Oh, honey.
52:12It's okay.
52:13I'm just worried about you.
52:15Oh, God, Mom,
52:16it's universally the worst thing
52:18a parent can say to a child.
52:19Can't you just be mad at me
52:20so I can ignore it?
52:21I just feel like
52:23you're changing.
52:25It's fine.
52:26Everyone does.
52:27It's why you tell people to wax
52:29and not laser.
52:29This laser is forever.
52:31Exactly.
52:32The point is,
52:33I hope you know you were great
52:35even before this job.
52:45Don't take it.
52:46You're being served.
52:49Oh, it's a birthday card.
52:51Happy birthday.
52:53Sorry I yelled at your mom.
52:54Take Saturday off
52:55and hold Sunday for me, Bill.
52:58Mom,
52:59want to go see Chicago tonight?
53:01Are you kidding me?
53:05It's so time!
53:20Hi.
53:21Hey.
53:22Oh, my God,
53:22I'm so glad you're here.
53:23I've been thinking of so many
53:24great ideas for the campaign.
53:26I can't believe it.
53:27My famous brand ambassador.
53:29Yeah, I brought you
53:30these Palo Santo sticks.
53:33Oh.
53:34Why?
53:35You can use them
53:35to cleanse the negative energy.
53:37Wait, is something wrong?
53:39We should talk.
53:44I can't believe
53:44you stood up to your dad.
53:46Honestly, I'm seeing him
53:47with new eyes, you know?
53:49With all the stuff with my mom.
53:50He had it coming.
53:52Yeah.
53:52But aren't you, like,
53:53worried he's mad?
53:54Doesn't he pay for your whole life?
53:55I can't believe he's mad.
53:59Yeah.
54:01Hey, Davis,
54:02what's with the flowers?
54:03They're for AJ.
54:05It's time to make my move.
54:07I had a great convo with Amy,
54:08that's AJ's mom,
54:09and maybe my future mother-in-law.
54:11And she told me
54:12that AJ likes somebody at work,
54:13and all signs point to this Adonis
54:15and Sperry Top Siders.
54:17She's sleeping with your boss.
54:20What?
54:22I saw Bill coming out
54:23of her apartment
54:23the other morning.
54:24I heard the girls
54:25talking about it.
54:26It's Bill.
54:31Bill, my mentor?
54:34And AJ?
54:35Yeah.
54:39Hey, hey, hey,
54:40don't look at the terrace like that.
54:41Eyes on me, big guy.
54:42That's right.
54:44I'm good.
54:45I'm really good.
54:48I'm fine.
54:55I'm so sorry, man.
54:57No, it's fine.
54:58I just thought that
54:59I just thought that
55:01she was going to be
55:02my wife.
55:03Hey, man,
55:04you don't need to do Borat
55:06right now.
55:07Just feel your feelings.
55:08No, it's fine.
55:09I should be able to control myself.
55:11This is what the
55:12steak and tears system
55:13was created for.
55:14I don't know.
55:15I'm beginning to think
55:15the whole steak and tears thing
55:16was just an excuse
55:17for us to get all
55:18drunk and kneaded up
55:19every couple months.
55:20Yeah, I think crying
55:21when you need to
55:22is maybe the healthier option.
55:24It's certainly cheaper.
55:25But isn't it more masculine?
55:27Like, not to cry?
55:29Like, what about Jon Hamm?
55:32Hey, maybe Jon Hamm
55:33doesn't need to cry.
55:34He's the voice of Mercedes
55:36and he lives in a mansion
55:37in L.A.
55:38But it doesn't make us
55:39any less masculine
55:40if we need to.
55:40No, it does.
55:41But I'm okay with that.
55:43Yeah, me too.
55:45Oh, God.
55:46Oh, my God.
55:47It's happening again.
55:47Cal, get more tissues.
55:48No.
55:51Abby, look,
55:52I've been getting really deep
55:53into the research
55:55for my character
55:55I'm playing
55:56and I found out
55:59he's like
55:59this really authentic guy.
56:02He was the first president.
56:03Yeah, I'm aware.
56:04George Washington.
56:05Anyway,
56:06in my research
56:07I learned that
56:08George had this thing
56:10where he couldn't tell a lie
56:12and, well...
56:14What are you trying to say?
56:16Fia introduced me
56:17to her stylist
56:18and I'm going to use her,
56:19not you.
56:21What?
56:22Oh, Fia is what I call
56:24Sophia Coppola.
56:25No, no, no, not that way.
56:28You're firing me?
56:29We've been killing it.
56:31What about the campaign?
56:32Yeah, no.
56:33We're not going to do that.
56:35Fia, again,
56:36Sophia Coppola.
56:37She's worried that
56:38I might become overexposed.
56:43You must be stunned.
56:45And I want you to know
56:46that I will always
56:47be here for you
56:49if you ever need an autograph
56:50for a niece or nephew
56:51or something.
56:54Get the hell out of here.
56:56Go!
57:00And take your stupid
57:01stick with you!