- 12 hours ago
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00:06I know we're older now and lost again
00:16Down at the coldest hour, you went, my friend
00:26Will you come back, come back again?
00:35Will you come back, come back again?
00:44I've put the kettle on, the wise man's song for you
01:05Hello Michael
01:13Morning, morning
01:15Yeah, I was just wondering about your garden actually mate to be honest
01:19What about it?
01:21Well I mean it's getting a bit overgrown now
01:22You know, starting to cut out a lot of light
01:24Right, well I'll sort that then
01:28Wicked, okay, do you reckon you get a chance?
01:30Definitely
01:30Awesome, did you get a letter from the council?
01:32Probably, I never opened them
01:34Bloody council eh, always after something
01:37Well there might be one about the erm
01:39Doesn't matter
01:41Do you reckon you get a chance though?
01:43Take it back a bit
01:43Yep, yes
01:44Awesome, awesome
01:45Alright, see you later Woody
01:50Cheers Cliff
01:52It's Clive
01:53See you soon
02:22Hey hey
02:24Hey hey
02:24Where is that?
02:25The beard, the legend
02:28Michael, Michael
02:31Bye
02:33Alright Brigham
02:42Wow, she's got it
02:45Yeah baby, she's got it
02:53Trish
02:54Trish, it's Gordon
02:54What's this mop for?
02:56Has something been spilled?
03:00Speak to me Trish
03:01Just a spill it and seal it and grout it
03:04Use the comms please Trish
03:06What's been spilled?
03:07Just trying to find out
03:09Use the comms Trish, not the tannoy
03:14Some solid sealant
03:16Get them all, get it cleaned up
03:18No, no, you don't understand
03:20Why would we sell six screws in a biodegradable paper bag
03:24When, if we only sell them in polyurethane tubs of 500
03:28The customer is forced into buying much more of them
03:32Making us much, much more money
03:36I see
03:38Do you have a hand drill?
03:40A hand drill?
03:46We stopped stocking hand drills in 1953
03:54What was 1953?
03:55The Queen's Coronation
03:59Have you been on your break?
04:00Which break? Lunch break?
04:02Tea break
04:02No
04:04Vending machine needs stocking up
04:05Double-deckers
04:06Double-deckers
04:07Double-deckers
04:07Got it
04:08Beef discos
04:09Then go on your break
04:10Double-deckers
04:11Beef discos
04:12Break
04:21Anything
04:22Could the others swap chart of worry and yellow and green
04:24Please come to the power tool spectrum and I'm afraid
04:29Michael! Michael! You're out coffee tonight?
04:35I will see you later!
04:39See you there!
04:40I'm going to listen to you too.
05:12Hello, Hilary.
05:13Oh, hello.
05:13He's in the lounge.
05:15Thanks.
05:15Has he been alright?
05:16Yeah, I think so.
05:18Building his contraptions, telling his stories, you know, keeping everyone amused.
05:26See you later.
05:54Hello, Dad.
05:55Ah, you alright?
05:56Hello, son.
05:57You back from your travels?
05:59I haven't been anywhere, Dad.
06:01I must have nodded off.
06:04You've been busy.
06:06Oh, yeah, yeah.
06:08Does it work?
06:09Eh, sometimes, yeah.
06:12Here you are, then.
06:13Oh.
06:13Have a go.
06:16Where does it start?
06:17On the book.
06:18What, here?
06:19Yeah, yeah.
06:40That is fantastic, Dad.
06:42Oh, well.
06:44What's a waste of time?
06:45Oh, I don't know.
06:47It keeps your brain ticking over.
06:50Who brings you the Brazil nuts?
06:53What?
06:54You've always got a bowl of shelled Brazil nuts.
06:56Oh, yeah.
06:57She gives them to me.
06:58Gladys.
06:59Her granddaughter brings them for her, but her dentures can't cope with the nuts, so she just
07:03sucks the chocolate off.
07:04I never touch them.
07:07So, er, what have you been up to?
07:09You know, this and that.
07:10Working at the DIY place.
07:12Yeah.
07:13How's Cleo?
07:14Is she well?
07:17Cleo went away, didn't she, Dad?
07:20Years ago now.
07:21You remember?
07:21We don't know where she went.
07:24Oh, shit.
07:25I forgot.
07:26Yeah.
07:26Christmas time.
07:28Yes.
07:28Christmas Eve.
07:30No news?
07:31No answers?
07:32No.
07:33Just questions.
07:34Lots of questions.
07:36I'm sorry, son.
07:38It's all right.
07:39I actually don't mind talking about her.
07:42Friends tend to avoid the subject.
07:45Ow!
07:47What is it?
07:51A drafts piece?
07:53No, hang on.
07:55Poncifrat cake.
07:57Oh, I know who you are.
07:59I know who's doing it.
08:05Bastards.
08:06It's all right, Dad.
08:08While I remember, would you post my competitions for me?
08:11Yeah, yeah, of course I will.
08:12Can't you get one of the staff here to post them for you?
08:14I don't trust them.
08:15They just chuck me in the bin.
08:16Dad, I'm sure they wouldn't.
08:18But yes, I'll take them for you.
08:19What are you going to win?
08:21Fishing equipment, knitting machine, and this one's a hot tub.
08:26Oh, nice.
08:26All very useful.
08:29Here you go.
08:30Dinner's up.
08:31Do you want to leave you to it?
08:32All right, sunshine.
08:33Will I see you tomorrow?
08:34Yeah, I'll be here.
08:37Maybe we can talk about it then.
08:39Who's that?
08:41Clear.
08:43Clear?
08:44Clear?
08:44Oh, lovely clear.
08:46Give him a mandle.
08:54Love you, Dad.
11:25Tape rolls on, another year gone.
12:31Are you taking your break?
12:33I've only been here an hour.
12:36Take your break now because Andre's in the warehouse this afternoon.
12:39Now?
12:46All right?
12:48All right?
12:48It's Casey.
12:49Yeah.
12:50I didn't realise you were in today.
12:52Yeah, I've been in here an hour and a half.
12:54No one's noticed.
12:55Do you want a cup of tea or are you not bothered?
12:59Is that beard itchy?
13:02Is that beard itchy?
13:02Itchy?
13:02No.
13:05Why would I have a beard if it was itchy?
13:08Looks itchy.
13:09Looks like it would feel itchy.
13:13You're welcome.
13:15Why do you have a beard?
13:16Why do you have a beard?
13:17Why do you wear a hat?
13:19I'm not wearing a hat.
13:20No, but if you were, that would be my response to you.
13:22Why do you have your ears pierced?
13:23That's a better example.
13:24Why do you have your ears pierced?
13:26Just because.
13:27There you go.
13:28It's just because.
13:32That was funny before when you thought I was calling you a wanker.
13:34Who were you calling a wanker?
13:35Gordon?
13:36Of course, Gordon.
13:37Don't you think he's such a wanker?
13:38I haven't really thought about it.
13:40Go on, have a think.
13:43Yeah, I suppose he is a bit.
13:44Yeah, you watch.
13:45Now that I've pointed it out, you'll notice it all the time.
13:49You on your break?
13:50Yeah.
13:51How long have you been on your break?
13:52About ten minutes.
13:54How long have you been on your break?
13:56Two minutes.
13:57You literally just sent me on my break.
14:04So, you've been here years then?
14:06Five years.
14:09Can I?
14:09Yeah.
14:11What did you do before this?
14:13I was an underwater welder.
14:15What does that mean?
14:16Which part?
14:17Underwater or welder?
14:19Both, when you put them together.
14:20Well, I welded things that were underwater, which meant that I had to go underwater too.
14:25You didn't like the diving gear and everything.
14:27Almost always.
14:29What sort of things need welding underwater?
14:32Ships, oil rigs.
14:35Mainly ships and oil rigs.
14:37Isn't welding like fire?
14:39Yes.
14:39So how does that work then?
14:40Would you like me to explain?
14:42No.
14:42Actually, you're alright.
14:44Why'd you give it up?
14:45It's a young man's game, underwater welding.
14:47You can't do it for too long.
14:49Takes its toll.
14:53Did you have the beard then?
14:55No.
14:55I wouldn't have been able to get a watertight seal around my diving mask.
14:58Oh, yeah, I was going to say.
15:15Hi, Hilary.
15:16Is the, uh...
15:16Hello, love.
15:16He's in his room.
15:18Can I have a word?
15:20It's a bit awkward.
15:22Your dad's been taking the empty water bottles and hiding them in his room.
15:25The water cooler bottles?
15:27Thing is, they collect the empties on a Wednesday.
15:29What's he taking them for?
15:31I don't know.
15:31He's saying it wasn't him.
15:33Well, are you sure it wasn't?
15:34I've seen him taking them.
15:36He keeps an eye out when they're nearly empty and smuggles them away when he thinks no-one's looking.
15:40All right.
15:41Uh, thanks, Hilary.
15:42I'll see if I can work out what's going on.
16:04Hello, Dad.
16:05Hello, son.
16:05Come on in.
16:06Shut the door.
16:07You all right?
16:08What are you looking for?
16:09Shut the door.
16:12I remembered something.
16:14Something that would help with your problem.
16:16What problem was that?
16:17What we talked about yesterday.
16:19You know, I know where you can get some answers.
16:22I am sorry, Dad.
16:23I've been dim.
16:23What were we talking about?
16:26Homunculi.
16:27Come again?
16:28How come he?
16:29Can't talk about it to you.
16:30They'll be listening in.
16:32Let's go for a walk.
16:34Take a look in there.
16:38Come on.
16:46What have you got these for, Dad?
16:48Did I ever tell you about Egypt?
16:51I think so, yes.
16:52When you were on, um, national service.
16:54That's right.
16:55When I was there, I met a man, an old mystic, Italian.
16:59And he was studying, uh, metaphysics and alchemic law.
17:02Okay.
17:04Anyway, I became an apprentice, really, um, so to speak.
17:08I was the only one he trusted to help him with his experiments.
17:11Okay.
17:12Eventually, this brilliant man managed to grow and generate homunculi.
17:18Tiny prophets who lived in great glass jars full of water.
17:21Wait a minute, Dad.
17:21I remember this story.
17:22You used to tell it to me before bed.
17:24Little people in jars.
17:26But, Dad, I don't think it actually happened.
17:28Oh, it did happen.
17:29I was there.
17:30I saw them.
17:30There were six of them.
17:32Yeah, I remember there was a king and a queen.
17:36A monk.
17:37A knight.
17:38A peasant.
17:39And a seraph.
17:41Exquisite little beings.
17:42They could predict the future.
17:44Yeah.
17:44They could answer any question once they'd reached the state of divination.
17:47And they had to answer truthfully.
17:50That was my favorite story, Dad.
17:53Dad, are you sure that you didn't get it from a book?
17:54No, no, no.
17:56I wrote it in a book.
17:57I wrote the instructions all down in a journal.
17:59But it's gone and I can't find it.
18:02Well, I've got a lot of your things, remember?
18:04At my house, I said I'd look after them for you when you moved in here.
18:07Well, that's where it'll be then.
18:09And it's all written down.
18:11Okay, Dad.
18:11Dad, Dad, listen.
18:13Even if I can find it, you're not allowed to practice alchemy in the Golden Years Garden.
18:17No, no.
18:17It's up to you.
18:19You're the one who wants the answers.
18:20They'll be able to tell you where Claire is.
18:25Oh, Dad.
18:25No, no.
18:26The prophets will tell you where she is and you go and find her and bring her back.
18:29I'll guide you.
18:30That's what the bottles are for.
18:32Take all the bottles, fill them with rainwater.
18:34Got to be rainwater.
18:36You'll need some other ingredients.
18:37But the journal will take you through all that.
18:40You've just got to find the journal.
18:44Yeah.
18:45That was it.
18:52He thinks I'm taking them out to the car.
18:54It's a long story.
18:56All right if I leave them around the corner?
18:57All right, love.
18:58Thanks.
18:59It should be all right now.
19:01See you tomorrow.
19:17Michael.
19:20All right, mate.
19:22You looking well?
19:24Hello, Roy.
19:25I went around the house earlier.
19:27Yeah.
19:28No, I was here visiting Dad.
19:30I tried to call you.
19:31Left a few messages.
19:32Yeah.
19:33Sometimes I forget to check.
19:35I forget to turn it on.
19:38I need to switch you, Michael.
19:40Yeah.
19:40Yeah, okay.
19:42Should we go back to the house?
19:43No.
19:44There's a cafe around the corner.
19:47Pickles.
19:56Do you want something?
19:57Oh, um, sausage, egg and chips, please.
20:00Who's paying?
20:01Oh, skim, mate.
20:01Just a cup of tea, please.
20:03Two, thanks.
20:08How are you?
20:08Are you well?
20:09Skim.
20:10I just told you.
20:12I'll pay for three kids while she's sat on her fat hours eating crisps.
20:17Are they still down south?
20:18In Reading, yeah.
20:20How often do you get to?
20:22I don't, Michael.
20:24I'm living in a shitty flat above a cost cutter, so they can't come to me, and I'm not welcome
20:28down there, so weeks, months go by between visits.
20:32Sorry.
20:35You're welcome.
20:40This place is named after the dog that found the World Cup.
20:44Pickles.
20:46I don't know what the connection is.
20:47I don't think he was from around here.
20:49It's time to give back what's mine, Michael.
20:55What if she comes back?
20:56Claire's not coming back.
20:57What if she does?
20:58Michael, they found her car on the seven bridge.
21:01Yes, and she wasn't in it.
21:02Mate, I don't know whether I miss her as much as you do.
21:04I think about her every day.
21:06She was my sister.
21:09But there's nothing I could have done, and I've made peace with that.
21:12This Christmas, it'll be seven years.
21:15We can apply for a presumption of death.
21:18Not on the house, mate, Michael.
21:21It belongs to me.
21:22What are you going to do, move in?
21:23No, I'm going to sell it.
21:24Well, I'll stay on until you find a buyer.
21:26No one's going to buy it.
21:27The estate is in.
21:29It needs to be cleared out.
21:30There might be structural damage there, Michael.
21:33Got to go.
21:33For Christ's sake, Michael.
21:34I drove past there this afternoon.
21:36The gutter is hanging off.
21:37The garden is impenetrable.
21:38Christ knows what it's like inside.
21:39It's time to take your head out of the sand, mate.
21:42She's not coming back.
22:06Good evening, Olive.
22:08You all right, love?
22:08Hello, Michael.
22:10What's that, fertiliser?
22:12No, these plants are all plastic.
22:15Don't need watering.
22:16Don't need fertilising.
22:17All right.
22:18So what is that you were sprinkling?
22:20Slug pellets.
22:21If the flowers are plastic, what are the slugs eating?
22:24The slug pellets.
22:26All right.
22:27Cheerio, then.
22:30Oh, I'll tell you who I saw here today.
22:33Yeah?
22:33Who was that?
22:34Your brother-in-law, Roy.
22:36He was looking for you.
22:38What?
22:39What?
22:40Is that a natural money?
22:41Well, I'll still let them.
22:44Robots take over.
22:47Hey, Michael.
22:48Olive.
22:49You all right?
22:51Hello, Michael.
22:52Hello, babe.
22:58Best be off, Olive.
23:00Three-o, Denmark.
23:03We were never married.
23:05What's that love?
23:06Just you said brother-in-law, but Cleo and I, or we were never married?
23:14Cheerio.
23:28Cheerio.
23:31Let's go.
23:59Let's go.
24:45Let's go.
24:59Will you come back, come back again?
25:05Elliot!
25:06Coming, lad.
25:07Will you come back, come back again?
25:17I put the kettle on the wise man song for you.
25:54Will you come back, come back again?
26:21Will you come back, come back again?
26:35Excuse me, do you sell buckets?
26:37Buckets? No.
26:39Really?
26:40No call for them. Old-fashioned.
26:43So, how do people, you know, like, carry water and stuff?
26:47Well, everything's plumbed in these days.
26:49You know, it's piped wherever it needs to be,
26:50so there's no need for anyone to carry any by hand.
26:52What colour bucket?
26:54It doesn't really matter.
26:56Any colour?
26:56No, sorry, I can't help you.
26:58A hosepipe, that's the closest we do.
27:00Garden section.
27:02Okay.
27:04Excuse me.
27:05Is that right that you don't sell buckets anymore?
27:07I'm sorry?
27:09Your colleague just told me that you don't sell buckets anymore
27:12because they're old-fashioned.
27:14Do you mean those things that people used to carry water in?
27:18Yeah.
27:19Oh, we haven't stocked buckets in a while, mate.
27:22Tell you what, you might want to try the vintage and antiques emporium.
27:38Did you see Celebrity Barrel Scrapers last night?
27:40Did I see what?
27:42Celebrity Barrel Scrapers.
27:43It's like, you know Barrel Scrapers, the show?
27:45It's like that, but the celebrity version.
27:47I haven't got a telly.
27:48Are you serious?
27:49There's a programme called Celebrity Barrel Scrapers.
27:51Yeah.
27:52Didn't recognise any of the celebrities in it, though.
27:54Apart from that bald bloke from, uh, what's it called?
27:57It's funny, though.
27:58What do they do, the celebrities?
28:00Just, you know, scrape the barrels out, get them clean.
28:03It gets really messy.
28:04It's no good.
28:05Hang on, you don't have a TV?
28:06No.
28:08Crick.
28:10Everyone's going to the pub next Friday after work.
28:12It's someone's birthday.
28:13You come in.
28:14Whose birthday?
28:15Bloke who cuts the MDR.
28:17Andre.
28:18Maybe.
28:19I'll see.
28:23Here we go.
28:29Did you tell that customer we don't sell buckets?
28:32No.
28:33He said you told him we don't sell buckets, that there's no call for him.
28:37Oh, buckets.
28:38Is that what he was after?
28:39I couldn't understand what he was saying.
28:42What time do you go to bed?
28:44None of your business, Gordon.
28:45It is my business if my staff are falling asleep on their feet
28:48and they can't hear the customers properly.
28:50You don't lose your hearing when you're tired.
28:54Hello, Hillary.
28:55Is everything okay?
28:58Okay, I'll be right there.
28:59No.
29:00No, it's fine.
29:01I'm not busy.
29:02No, honestly, it's not a problem.
29:03Yes.
29:05I'm on my way.
29:09Got to go.
29:10My dad's lost something.
29:11Lost something?
29:16You been on your break?
29:36Oh, hello, love.
29:37Sorry.
29:38Oh, it's all right.
29:38What's happened?
29:39I would have waited until you came in later,
29:40but he's upset and threatening to call the police.
29:42Really?
29:45Tina found this on his bed when he was at breakfast
29:48and brought it to me.
29:50He noticed it was missing and kicked off.
29:57Bloody hell.
29:58Right, um, well, I'll see if I can get to the bottom of it.
30:02Thanks, Hillary.
30:03Sorry.
30:04Sorry.
30:14Hello, Dad.
30:15Hold on.
30:15I'm glad you're here.
30:16There's a thief in this place and I've had enough.
30:18It's outrageous.
30:20I'm writing a letter.
30:21All right, Dad.
30:22Calm down.
30:23No one stole it.
30:24I've got it here.
30:25They didn't know what it was.
30:26It says quite clearly on the tin what it is.
30:29Poison.
30:29Well, exactly.
30:30They were worried.
30:32I'm not a child.
30:33Why have you got a tin of poison?
30:35What is going on?
30:36Give it here.
30:40One, two, three, four, five, six.
30:41Oh, they were all there.
30:42Thank God for that.
30:43I couldn't replicate these.
30:44Once they're gone, they're gone.
30:45Seriously, Dad.
30:46Why have you got six files of poison?
30:48This is the antidote that dissolves the homunculi,
30:51only to be used in case of emergency.
30:53It was given to me.
30:54I don't know what's in it.
30:55And I couldn't make it again.
30:57Did you find the diaries?
30:59Mike?
31:00Hey?
31:00Did you find the instructions?
31:02Yes.
31:02Excellent.
31:03So have you got it set up?
31:04No, Dad.
31:05I haven't had time.
31:06The sooner you start the chanting,
31:07the sooner you'll be able to get results,
31:09and the sooner you'll be able to ask about clear.
31:11You have to chant to the bottles.
31:14It's all there in the instructions.
31:16What?
31:17What's wrong?
31:25This was in the journal.
31:27There they are.
31:29Oh, my God.
31:30I've forgotten I took this.
31:32Dad, I'm so confused.
31:33I thought that this was just a bedtime story.
31:35I didn't think it might actually be real.
31:37Trust me.
31:38You want to know where Claire is when she's coming home?
31:42They can answer any question,
31:44and they're compelled to answer truthfully.
31:46Okay.
31:46Just remind me what they actually are.
31:50Homunculi.
31:51Prophesying spirits.
31:52Right.
31:53I looked up homunculus in the dictionary,
31:55and it said,
31:56a very small humanoid creature.
31:59That's it, yeah?
32:00That's it?
32:02So what?
32:03A human?
32:04An animal?
32:05Is this legal?
32:07Well, it's not illegal.
32:09That doesn't exactly put my mind at rest, Dad.
32:11Trust me.
32:12Yes, yes, all right.
32:14Before I forget,
32:15will you post some letters for me?
32:16More competitions?
32:18Yeah, this one's foot spa,
32:19this one's dog grooming classes,
32:21and this one's a Lamborghini.
32:23Fingers crossed.
32:24Oh, and this one,
32:25you'll need a stamp.
32:26You'll have to go to the post office.
32:27It's going to Vancouver.
32:30To my old school friend, Vic.
32:31Righto.
32:32How is Vic these days?
32:33Much the same.
32:34Not much to say for himself,
32:36but he always asks after you.
32:38After me, does he?
32:39Yeah, yeah.
32:40Very interested in what you're up to.
32:42Did I have a meeting?
32:43Maybe once,
32:44when you were little.
32:45Right.
32:46Well, next time,
32:48tell him I said hello.
32:51Bye.
32:57Bye.
33:02Bye.
33:09Bye.
33:14Bye.
33:17Bye.
33:46Hello, Olive.
33:47Hello, Marco.
33:48What you got there?
33:50Jars.
33:50Yep, jars.
33:52Big, eh?
33:53Yep, big jars.
33:53What are you sprinkling today?
33:55Ant powder.
33:56Oh, yeah?
33:57Little bastards coming indoors and eating all the cake.
34:00Wankers.
34:00Go to get them early, otherwise they start bloody flying.
34:03You know that?
34:04The sprout wings are bloody flying all over the place on 4th of July, Independence Day.
34:09So I'm putting the powder down.
34:11Yeah, that'll learn them.
34:12See you later, Olive.
34:13Sherry.
34:28OK, Dad.
34:29I'm doing this, am I?
34:48Hello, um, this is, uh, Michael.
34:50Michael's sleep.
34:50I'm just leaving a message.
34:52I won't be coming in today, I'm afraid.
34:54I've got a bit of a runny bottom.
34:56We'll be coming in today, sir.
34:57Thank you so much.
35:00Hello?
35:07You're welcome.
35:07I'm going to go see you next time.
35:08Let's go with us, sir.
35:09I'm coming in today.
35:18I'll be coming in today.
35:20How's the end of Monday?
35:20I'll be coming today.
35:22I'm coming in today, let's go.
35:34Morning, Michael.
35:35Morning.
35:36Uh, morning.
35:37You just getting rid of some stuff?
35:39You're just moving it.
35:41It's about the frontier.
35:42That's right.
35:43It's only temporary.
35:50I was going to say, I'm sorry you didn't get a chance to take your edge back.
35:53Don't be sorry.
35:54It's lucky, actually.
35:55I spotted a pair of chaffinches nesting in the ivy.
35:59So I'm glad that we didn't disturb them.
36:02Chaffinches.
36:03Chaffinches.
36:07That reminds me.
36:08Your security light at the front is flashing on and off, on and off all night.
36:13Is it?
36:14There must be a branch or a twig or something waving across it.
36:17You probably don't notice it if your bedroom's at the back.
36:20I'll take a look.
36:21Yes, it's on and off, on and off all night.
36:23On and off, on and off.
36:24It's like every few minutes.
36:25It's light pollution.
36:26It's disturbing the little chaffinches.
36:29Light pollution.
36:30Okay.
36:30Just off to the DIY store.
36:32Do you need anything?
36:33No, thanks.
36:33Are you sure?
36:34I get a staff discount.
36:36No, thanks.
36:37No, thanks.
36:37No, thanks.
37:39All right, Skiver.
37:40What, you had the shit?
37:42Shh. Don't let him know I'm here.
37:44Do you know what? I'm having to do twice as much work as you.
37:46Well, you usually do fuck all, so twice fuck all is still fuck all.
37:50Why are you here?
37:52I need you to get some stuff for me.
37:56Jesus.
37:57All right, let me finish for sick.
37:59And remember to get the staff discount.
38:01Okay.
38:12Let's go.
38:53Are you building a pub?
38:55No.
38:56Mr. Mayor?
38:57What?
38:59What's all this for?
39:00I'm cleaning me fish tank.
39:02What fish have you got?
39:03Pilchard.
39:03You're lying.
39:05It's for a project.
39:06I'll tell you about it another time.
39:08Did he see you?
39:08Gordon?
39:09No.
39:10Casey, I just wanted to say, you've still got my credit card.
39:16You're welcome.
39:28You're welcome.
39:55I'm going to say, you've got to say, you've got to say, you've got to say, you've got to say,
40:01you've got to say, you've got to say, you've got to say, you've got to say, you've got to say,
40:01you've got to say, you've got to say, you've got to say, you've got to say, you've got to say,
40:01you've got to say, you've got to say, you've got to say, you've got to say, you've got to say,
40:01you've got to say, you've got to say, you've got to say, you've got to say, you've got to say,
40:01you've got to say, you've got to say, you've got to say, you've got to say, you've got to say,
40:01you've got to say, you've got to say, you've got to say, you've got to say, you've got to say,
40:01you've got to say, you've got to say
40:27Before the jars are sealed,
40:28in each must be placed a mineral seed item, from which the homunculus will grow.
40:35The seeds must be carefully selected and be specific to the creature's station.
40:41For the knight, a brass key.
40:45For the monk, the nib of a pen.
40:49For the peasant, a plain undecorated button.
40:53For the seraph, a crystal of amethyst.
40:57For the queen, a gold ring.
41:00And for the king, a silver coin, as old as you can find.
41:09Why does he have to behave like this?
41:11It's like every little thing he does is designed to wind me up.
41:16I mean, what in the hell is his problem?
41:19Bev.
41:21What?
41:22I'm saying, what's his problem?
41:24Who?
41:25Gandalf the freaking grey, who do you think?
41:26It sounds like you're the one with the problem.
41:28Why can't you just ignore him?
41:30How can I, with that racket going on?
41:37Why can't it just be normal?
41:40What are you doing?
41:41Put a mirror down there.
41:42Oh, and that's normal, is it?
41:43You believe he's had the nerve to complain about our security light?
41:46Light pollution has accused me of.
41:50I mean, his place is crawling with vermin.
41:52The amount of insects in his garden is disgusting.
41:55Spiders, wasps, bees.
41:58And the effing sparrows, chirping all day long in the bushes.
42:02That drives me insane.
42:14Great, he's praying.
42:16That's all we need.
42:18A religious fanatic.
42:20Bev.
42:22What?
42:23What are you listening to?
42:24A podcast.
42:25About what?
42:26Sex trafficking.
42:29Showers.
42:30Act's ex precordi.
42:32Sonnent preconeia, resident precendent, recident,
42:37vetera, vetera.
42:39Sacris'emunis, and unctus in Gaudium.
42:42Ec'ex precones.
42:45Sonne.
42:46Sacris y'emunis, i ante preciliation.
42:52Ec'ex preconeia, act.
43:14Hello?
43:15Are you coming to the pub?
43:17Who is this?
43:18Casey!
43:18Are you coming to the pub?
43:20What time is it?
43:21I don't know.
43:22Look, we're at the open as usual.
43:23You said you'd come.
43:24Why do you want me to come to the pub so much?
43:26I'm not asking you out on a date.
43:27I'm just saying.
43:28We're at the pub for fuck's sake.
43:29I'm just being friendly.
43:30Alright, I'm sorry.
43:32Which pub?
43:33Open as usual.
43:39Alright?
43:40Yeah.
43:41You alright?
43:42You made it.
43:44You must be made up.
43:45Yeah, I might start weeping.
43:52Oh, here he is!
43:55Put it in, baby!
43:57Hey, someone get me smell and drink!
44:00Michael!
44:01Michael!
44:02Are you a train spotter?
44:03No.
44:05You're a virgin!
44:06What are you talking about?
44:07How old are you?
44:08Fifty!
44:09Fifty-year-old virgin!
44:11Shut up, Brigham!
44:12How old are you?
44:13Five!
44:14Look at the street!
44:17My mate used to work at a restaurant when you worked at some burger place.
44:20Oh yeah, burgers, burgers, burgers on the high street.
44:23Yeah, said he strips off in front of all the customers.
44:25Only to be best in pants.
44:27Only to be best in pants!
44:29What for?
44:29I was resigning.
44:30They wanted the uniform back.
44:32My mate said, right?
44:33He swipes you for nothing pie off the counter, comes out front, strips off, puts the manager
44:37of the burden and walks out of his boxes.
44:40Is that true?
44:41Nearly.
44:41It was a sticky toffee pudding and I had to come back because my clothes and keys were
44:45in the staff room.
44:46Oh no, no, I'm only having the one.
44:48I've got the car.
44:49Leave it here.
44:49Get the bus.
44:50Where do you live?
44:51Marvin Gardens, just off the Wilmslow Road.
44:53Oh my god.
44:53Yeah, I know.
44:54Listen, it's a 20 minute walk for me.
44:55You're fine.
44:57Do you know Danielle?
44:57She used to live on the corner of Marvin Gardens.
45:00I was mates with her at school.
45:01I hadn't spoken to her in years though.
45:02She went off to catering college.
45:04Oh my god.
45:05There used to be this house on Marvin Gardens, right, that was just like full of junk.
45:09And like the garden was an absolute jungle.
45:11And I mean this bloke lived there but nobody saw him.
45:13Well, Danielle saw him a few times but anyways.
45:16He murdered his wife.
45:18Yeah.
45:19Everyone knew.
45:19I mean the police dug up his garden and everything but they never found out.
45:22They reckon he dissolved her in battery acid and flushed her down the loo so he got
45:25away with it.
45:26How long have you lived there?
45:29How long have you lived there?
45:33Oh my god, that's your house.
45:43Did you murder your wife?
45:46I was never married.
45:48But no, I've never murdered anyone.
45:50Let alone flush somebody down the toilet.
45:56Come to think of it, everything Danielle said was absolute bullshit.
45:59Michael!
46:01Michael!
46:02Michael!
46:03Do you like the Star Trek?
46:08That's a couple of weeks.
46:09That's a couple of weeks.
46:10I can't find it.
46:11He's just looking into it.
46:21So, were you really an underwater welder?
46:23What's that?
46:25Were you really an underwater welder?
46:27Oh no.
46:28I made that up.
46:29I knew it, you bullshitter.
46:31I went down a two hour underwater welding rabbit hole last night.
46:35I watched videos on YouTube.
46:37I know everything about it.
46:38So, how does that work then?
46:40The fire underwater thing?
46:42I'm not telling you.
46:49Your mate's story, it wasn't all bullshit though.
46:53The police did dig up my garden.
46:55Did me a favour actually.
46:57Had to clear up afterwards.
46:58Left it in a better state than it was before.
47:01Well, what were they looking for then?
47:04My girlfriend.
47:05She left one day.
47:07She never came back.
47:08Everyone thought I'd killed her for a while.
47:12I didn't kill her.
47:15I love her.
47:17Michael!
47:18Did you collect stamps?
47:19Why do you find me so weird, Brigham?
47:22I don't get it.
47:22Just don't worry about him.
47:24No, I don't understand.
47:25Is it simply because I have a beard?
47:28Or because I don't go on the paintballing trips?
47:31Because that ain't that bloody weird, is it?
47:33Jason wears gold boots with wings on.
47:36But here you all are, ribbing to me.
47:39Oh, careful.
47:40Watch out.
47:40We're stripped down.
47:41Holding to his vest of pants.
47:42You don't know anything about me.
47:45You knew what I'm actually growing in my shed.
47:49Stop right there.
47:50Thank you very much.
47:51What are you actually growing in your shed?
47:53What you don't know?
47:54Yeah.
47:55Is that I am actually growing homunculi.
47:59I beg your pardon?
48:01Homunculi.
48:01What the wrong?
48:03They are prophesying spirits that can predict the future.
48:07And I am growing them in jars in my shed.
48:11So when I'm winning billions on the lottery,
48:13you won't be laughing there, will you?
48:15Eh?
48:16What the fuck are you on the boat?
48:18Homunculi!
48:19All right!
48:20Let's get you home, yeah?
48:27You all right?
48:28I'm fine.
48:34So, what are you growing in jars in your shed?
48:38Homunculi.
48:40Homunculi.
48:40And what's a homunculi?
48:41No.
48:42No.
48:43Homunculi is plural.
48:45Homunculi is singular.
48:46And they are creatures.
48:48They're like little people.
48:50They're like little people in jars.
48:52Like sea monkeys?
48:54They're a little bit like sea monkeys,
48:55but they can predict the future.
48:58Fuchsia.
48:59I had sea monkeys once.
49:01They were really disappointing.
49:02Like the advert said that they were so eager to please,
49:05but my ones, they couldn't give an apparent fuck.
49:07They're not sea monkeys.
49:08They're monculi.
49:10Can I come and see them?
49:12No.
49:12Nobody can see them at the moment
49:14because they are invisible to the human naked eye.
49:17So, no.
49:19Okay.
49:21You'll have to walk me home.
49:22I'm fine.
49:23Hey, I'm not walking you home.
49:24I live this way, are you?
49:25Fine.
49:27Fine.
49:31This is me.
49:32All right, yeah, cool.
49:33I'm just...
49:37I'm just...
49:37...
49:39...
49:40...
49:48I don't know.
50:20I don't know.
50:47I don't know.
51:20I don't know.
51:43I don't know.