- 2 days ago
Last Of The Summer Wines S01 Ep5 The New Mobile Trio
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00:28Satsang with Mooji
00:41Oh, my God.
01:09All this time I thought my right eye was failing.
01:14It's been an old treacle toffee in my glasses pocket.
01:19It's one of the less common eye diseases, treacle toffee.
01:24I wonder how they'd have cured me if I hadn't discovered it in time.
01:28Massive injections of wine gums.
01:30What are we coming here for?
01:33For nothing. That's usually the attraction.
01:36We've never been to a road safety exhibition. They keep having them.
01:40They must fulfil some deep-seated need.
01:43Why?
01:46Come on, kiddies.
01:49There are plenty of other places we've never been which have a higher priority than road safety exhibitions.
01:55Such as what?
01:56The crematorium.
01:57I always wanted to go to the Canary Islands, wouldn't I?
02:01Well, turn left when you get outside and shove off.
02:04Left? I thought it were right for Canary Islands.
02:07Oh, well, if you want to go via Ekman, Dwight.
02:10Doesn't everybody? Where's your sense of adventure?
02:13I used up most of mine when I had to give that busker ductress a pound.
02:17Oh, with all that black leather.
02:19Oh, Mrs. Lucas.
02:20Oh, funny name for an old birth-turned-barn-fuehrer, Mrs. Lucas.
02:26That were her bus what got Ernie Bignall.
02:28Oh, I expect she threw him under for offering a pound.
02:32She was a big lass.
02:33Oh, a reach eight-wheeler.
02:37Bit full on the upper deck.
02:38Yeah, they were her main assets.
02:42If that top button ever goes, there'll be scenes of wild disorder.
02:47Whatever happened to Ernie Bignall, then?
02:50He tore all his jacket.
02:52Poor thing.
02:54God, how awful being run over by Mrs. Lucas.
02:58I'd like to try my skill on the driving simulator.
03:01Oh, what?
03:02The driving simulator.
03:04Well, it's got a kid on it.
03:06There's a bit old in the choppers, aren't you, to start playing with trains.
03:10It's a test of one's reflexes and coordination.
03:13And some of us have more than others,
03:15which explains why we don't spit fragments of Eccles' cake and dribble our tea.
03:20You don't know how to enjoy out.
03:22Makes me sick to see you nibbling at a biscuit.
03:25You're like some old spinster always making sure and checking to see her knees are closed.
03:31Have you ever heard the expression, suffer little children?
03:36Well, get off before it starts.
03:42What's all this about, Dick?
03:44It's a serious instrument.
03:45Like the bassoon or veterinary pliers.
03:49You turn the wheel, watch the screen,
03:52and it tells you where you are on the road.
03:54That's rubbish.
03:55We know where we are on the road.
03:57We're in Percy Street.
03:59Hasn't he got a wonderful sense of direction?
04:01The question is,
04:03can the modern motor vehicle be trusted?
04:05You slacken your grasp on the reins for an instant,
04:08and it's liable to leap out and savage some other fella's car.
04:12You have to have it destroyed.
04:16I can't say I've ever been all that fond of motor cars,
04:19but you don't like to think of anybody being cruel to them.
04:24Hey, up!
04:29They're all right, his cars.
04:30Our kid had one.
04:31Well, that's no recommendation.
04:32He used to have scabs on his chin,
04:34but they never caught on with the general public.
04:38It was only sore spots.
04:41He chapped easy.
04:42Another one dribbling his teeth.
04:44No, it wasn't.
04:45No, it wasn't.
04:46Dr. Murray said he had an extra fine skin.
04:49You're Eric?
04:49Yeah.
04:50When he stripped off, he had a skin like a lily.
04:53No wonder he used to get so intense about rugby league.
04:56Right, Scroft there, Eric.
04:58If he hadn't died as young,
04:59nobody would have had a good word to say for him.
05:02Have you never fancied the idea of learning to drive?
05:04No, what?
05:06Yeah.
05:07I know about them driving instructors.
05:09They get you down the back lane,
05:10and the next thing is, they've got their hand on your welly.
05:14Is that a road or a river?
05:16I don't know.
05:17Stanek.
05:18You went right up on the back lane.
05:20Here we go.
05:21Dead air.
05:21Here we go.
05:24Here's go.
05:25Dead air.
05:26I missed him.
05:28Oh.
05:35How long have you been driving, then, as the crow flies?
05:39It's just pure mechanical envy on your part.
05:41That's all you're suffering from.
05:44Well, I thought you showed great originality.
05:47Most Scroft would have been content to stay out road.
05:50Oh, it just came to me.
05:52I've never seen such a performance.
05:55It's nice to think that after all these years,
05:58my standard of driving has hardly changed.
06:03Comforting, isn't it, that there are still a few things left untouched?
06:07But if we had a real car, we could get about more.
06:10Get about more?
06:12The way you drive, we spend half the time in people's back kitchens.
06:16No, no, no, no, no.
06:18No, you wouldn't, because, you see, with a real car,
06:20you've got things to keep you on the road,
06:22like curbs and pedestrians.
06:26But it's not the driving,
06:27it's being able to get about more,
06:29to travel farther afield.
06:31Anyway, you can scoff.
06:32I would if I had something to scoff.
06:35Had you got any of them mints?
06:37Hey, dear.
06:39There.
06:41Just look at it,
06:42like feeding a ready-mixed concrete machine.
06:46Just the same at school,
06:47him and Doggy Eastwood,
06:48used to eat everything but the inkwells.
06:51Do you know what his technique was?
06:52He used to spit on somebody's bun
06:54and say,
06:54you don't want that, do you?
06:57I know.
06:58And you go straight from that
07:00to Elgar in the music room,
07:02struck even at that age
07:03by the rich possibilities of life.
07:05It were only when he clanged the SS Medical
07:08and they discovered he had a Jewish left leg
07:10that he signed on for Catering Corps.
07:13I was not a member of the Catering Corps.
07:15It was the Fighting Royal Signals.
07:17And the right lot of poofs they were, I know.
07:20Swift and sure was our motto,
07:22Surtos Sita,
07:23the technological brains of the British Army.
07:25We had one of them in our room
07:27and he couldn't find his way to Cook House.
07:29Well, it's hardly worth his while, was it,
07:31if you'd all been spitting on his bun?
07:35And I was there when it came to the fight for freedom.
07:39Only him, you know.
07:40He's all on his jackson.
07:41And I was there willingly at the time.
07:43But when you look around
07:45and see what they've done with the freedom,
07:46the thought occurs
07:47that I might just as well have stayed at home
07:49and scraped together a deposit
07:51for Cynthia Merchingrove.
07:52Oh, no, you were better off on the battlefield,
07:55honest for.
07:56She would have made an excellent wife.
07:58Oh, it doesn't always follow.
07:59It doesn't always pay
08:01to rely on them being unattractive.
08:03Ideally, there ought to be something else.
08:05With a face like hers,
08:06you'd soon be looking for something else.
08:09Were you engaged?
08:10Not exactly.
08:11Oh, come on now.
08:12In those days,
08:13it had to be exactly or nothing round here.
08:16No, we had an understanding.
08:17She was to be mine
08:19the moment I achieved
08:20an executive position with the waterboard.
08:22And I had every prospect.
08:24People retire,
08:25and now and again,
08:25somebody would drown.
08:29Then, of course,
08:30the war came and ruined everything.
08:31Oh, you had a narrow squeak there, sir.
08:33It would have been just my luck
08:34not to have had a damn great war.
08:36She saw me off to the army tiers
08:37all over a platform ticket.
08:39Six weeks later,
08:40I was back on a 48
08:41to find her betrothed
08:42to this under-manager
08:43of the Maple Dairies.
08:45He was using his position
08:46to supplement her butter ration.
08:48Oh, you get that kind of
08:49frenzied madness in every war.
08:51People living only for the moment,
08:53cramming every instant
08:54full of booksheet butter.
08:56You don't know how well off you are.
08:58How well off are you, incidentally?
09:01Can you manage 15 quid?
09:02What?
09:02By hell, he's got the reflexes
09:04of a young man.
09:05Did you see him leap there
09:06like he'd been stung?
09:08You could raise 15 quid, sir,
09:10all I bet you have
09:11a little nest of it.
09:11So, well...
09:12Hey, he's got that insurance, moony.
09:15Who told you that?
09:17Everybody knows.
09:18By hell, this is a great area
09:20for financial discretion.
09:21They even know the value
09:22of your spit.
09:23You could put your hands
09:24on 15 quid, Cyril,
09:26without disturbing your savings.
09:27Well, what if I can?
09:28Don't he go up on the colour
09:30when his money's in danger.
09:33And why not?
09:34When I look at you,
09:34I can see how stylish poverty is.
09:36I'm happy.
09:37Ah, bloody slap-happy.
09:38Look where it's got you.
09:39Don't underestimate him, Cyril.
09:41He didn't get like that overnight.
09:42It's taken him years
09:44of dedicated mismanagement.
09:46Hey, give us a fag
09:47and I'll let you
09:47waggle me loose tooth.
09:49Hey.
09:50Hey.
09:51Look at that.
09:54A car?
09:55At that price,
09:56we could manage it between us.
09:57I thought you didn't like cars.
09:59Well, it's true,
10:00we don't get on.
10:01My dear wife,
10:03God rest the silly bitch,
10:05compassion late in life
10:06for a one-owner hillman.
10:08Well, you were lucky,
10:08my went for a chuffing pole.
10:11But did you have to wax him
10:12every Saturday afternoon,
10:14vac his interior,
10:16lift up his bonnet
10:17and pour things into his tubes?
10:19It was so treacherous,
10:20you see.
10:21You didn't need a steering wheel,
10:22you needed a whip
10:23and a flaming chair.
10:25I used to set off foreheads
10:26and it'd go backwards.
10:27Ah, you must have been
10:28in wrong gear.
10:29Ah, that's what the world
10:29was supposed to think,
10:30but I knew that
10:31that shiny metallic monster
10:32was changing its old gears.
10:34I know I've not been
10:35all that good at driving,
10:36but it used to make me
10:37look all right
10:38from this fork.
10:39What do you want
10:40another one then for?
10:41Well, I don't want
10:42another like that.
10:43Nothing you've got to polish.
10:44But something like this,
10:45a clapped out old banger
10:47that'll just take us
10:48where we want to go.
10:49I've still got this
10:50driving licence,
10:51we've got all this spare time,
10:53we could get about
10:54and do more.
10:55Ah, we could go to York races.
10:57Mobility's a kind of freedom,
10:59long as you're not
11:00always polishing it.
11:02If we both chipped in
11:0315 quid,
11:04we could get one.
11:07What about him?
11:09Like I said,
11:10if we both chipped in
11:1115 quid,
11:12we could get one.
11:13Oh, I could maintain it for you.
11:15I'm very good with my hands.
11:17Everybody knows that.
11:19Mrs. Batty's
11:20forever complaining.
11:32Who are you?
11:33What is it?
11:34It's all right,
11:35Mrs. Bill.
11:36Come back when
11:37your buffalo's under control.
11:40It's only a pup.
11:42It's our walters, really.
11:45It'll not hurt you.
11:48Get back,
11:49you soft pig.
11:50Get in.
11:52Get in.
11:53Get in,
11:53you damn thing.
11:55But it won't bite.
11:57Oh, you think
11:58you do enough damage
11:59treading on you?
12:00We came about the car.
12:02You don't open that door,
12:04madam.
12:04We'll come to some
12:05other arrangement.
12:06Oh, you better come in.
12:07That's a likely story.
12:08I bet that's how
12:09they feed him.
12:10I'm not suspecting
12:11for what come about car.
12:13It's only a soft
12:14old finger.
12:15He won't hurt you.
12:17We're in your hands,
12:18Mrs.
12:18But if he's got
12:19a lot of shaggy hair
12:20around his collar,
12:21now's the time
12:22to ask for dinner.
12:45It's knocked off.
12:46Yeah,
12:47the dog knows.
12:48Well,
12:48he didn't win it
12:49in a raffle.
12:50Oh,
12:51you do get me involved
12:52in some dubious
12:53undertakings.
12:54Where are we?
12:55Atherton Street?
12:56Perhaps it's a great
12:57centre for spaghetti
12:58rings and lavatory
12:59cleaners.
13:05Oh,
13:06you're all right.
13:07I'd fastened him up
13:09in kitchen.
13:11You'll have to
13:11excuse the mess in here.
13:13It's our lad,
13:14Walter.
13:15You see,
13:15he drives this
13:16lorry sometimes.
13:18Oh,
13:18yes,
13:18brings his work
13:19home,
13:19does he?
13:21He's always
13:22bringing things home.
13:23He brought that dog.
13:24But guess who
13:25has to feed it?
13:27He thinks he's
13:28kind to animals,
13:29but when he's
13:30stupid drunk,
13:31he tries to teach
13:32it to ride a bicycle.
13:35Now,
13:35it's him you want
13:36to see.
13:36I'll go and
13:37give him a shout.
13:41Walter!
13:42It's three
13:43misters
13:44about car.
13:45I am
13:46poor.
13:47He can get up
13:48quick enough
13:49when it's a question
13:50of getting
13:50Fred Gold's
13:51last in trouble.
13:52Would you like
13:53a mugger tea?
13:54Oh,
13:54I get it.
13:55It's all right,
13:55madam.
13:56There's a pop
13:57full in kitchen
13:57if you want it.
13:59I'll just
14:00go and
14:00whisper in his
14:01ear.
14:02Walter!
14:04Walter,
14:05get off!
14:06She's fearless,
14:07that little
14:07woman.
14:08Yeah,
14:08I would have
14:08fadged you
14:09the mugger tea.
14:10He has to
14:10flap his big
14:11lip and say
14:11no.
14:13Oh,
14:13sit down
14:14with him
14:14quite deep
14:14enough without
14:15seeing you
14:15slopping about
14:16in a pint pot.
14:17He makes
14:18enough noise
14:18slurping from
14:19a cup.
14:19You've never
14:20really had an
14:20ear for music,
14:21have you,
14:21Cyril?
14:22We shall be
14:23facing the music
14:23all right if
14:24this is a stolen
14:25car.
14:25Who the hell's
14:26going to steal
14:27a car worth
14:27thirty quid?
14:29Could be a
14:29desperate gang
14:30of international
14:31rubbish thieves.
14:34You won't be
14:35laughing so much
14:35when we're
14:36standing in the
14:36dock.
14:37There'll be a
14:37dry dock
14:38and all you
14:38keep toning
14:39down mugs
14:39of tea.
14:40Hey,
14:40look at this.
14:41Oh,
14:41put that
14:41down.
14:45Lego.
14:47Lego!
14:51I don't know
14:52why she
14:53asked you
14:53to wait
14:54in here
14:54amongst all
14:55this stuff
14:56that I'm
14:57looking after
14:57for me mate
14:58that runs
14:58his stall
14:59in Bansley
14:59Market.
15:00I've told you
15:01before I'm
15:01doing it
15:02in the kitchen.
15:05Did she say
15:06you've come
15:06about a car?
15:07Uh,
15:08yes,
15:08the, uh,
15:09little
15:09angrier.
15:10Uh,
15:11goes like a
15:11bum.
15:13Well,
15:14it says
15:16bum here.
15:18Bomb.
15:19Couldn't you
15:19guess it should
15:20be bomb?
15:21Well,
15:21at thirty
15:21quid,
15:22you can't be
15:22sure,
15:22can you?
15:23That were
15:24a snippet.
15:25It went
15:25in the first
15:26five minutes.
15:26All sold,
15:27eh?
15:27I sold it
15:28to this, uh,
15:29this doctor
15:30for his wife.
15:31For thirty
15:32quid?
15:32Oh,
15:32yes,
15:33he's a,
15:33he's a big
15:34eye surgeon.
15:35I wonder
15:35who does
15:36the little
15:36ones?
15:38He gets
15:39all his
15:40second cars
15:41from me.
15:41For thirty
15:42quid?
15:42Well,
15:43well,
15:43I expect
15:43he just
15:43runs them
15:44in and
15:44throws them
15:45away.
15:46Mysterious
15:46beyond the
15:47understanding
15:47of man
15:48are the
15:48habits
15:49of eye
15:49surgeons.
15:51We had
15:52this
15:52M.O.
15:53in the
15:53army
15:53called
15:54Major
15:54Pilkington.
15:57Well,
15:57now we've
15:58digested
15:58that piece
15:59of fascinating
15:59information,
16:01perhaps we
16:01can stop
16:01wasting this
16:02gentleman's
16:02time.
16:05No,
16:06no,
16:06don't,
16:06don't rush
16:07off.
16:07I've got
16:08just the
16:08car for
16:08you.
16:09You
16:09couldn't
16:09have
16:09come
16:09at
16:09a
16:10better
16:10time.
16:10I
16:11haven't
16:11even
16:11advertised
16:11it yet.
16:12It's
16:12the
16:12fastest
16:13little
16:13wagon
16:13on
16:14four
16:14wheels.
16:14How
16:15much?
16:15Hey,
16:15you hope
16:15that were
16:16fast and
16:16all.
16:17Don't
16:18worry.
16:19It's
16:19a snip.
16:21A
16:22super
16:22snip.
16:25I
16:25doesn't
16:26put my
16:26poop right
16:26down to
16:27floor.
16:27She'd
16:28terrify you.
16:29She's
16:29been
16:29terrifying
16:29me since
16:30we managed
16:31to push
16:31start the
16:32damn
16:32thing.
16:32Oh,
16:33once you
16:33get the
16:34battery
16:34charge,
16:35she'll be
16:35as hell.
16:36Look,
16:37look,
16:37that would
16:38work,
16:38eh?
16:39Walnut.
16:40ask
16:40myself
16:41whether
16:41it's
16:41fitting
16:42for
16:42three
16:42old
16:42men
16:42to
16:43be
16:43addling
16:43about
16:43in
16:43this
16:44thing
16:44at
16:44nearly
16:4430
16:45miles
16:45an
16:45hour.
16:45Hey,
16:46this
16:46is
16:46going
16:46like
16:47it
16:47don't
16:47work.
16:48Oh,
16:48compost
16:49simmer night,
16:49you're a fine
16:50one to be
16:50complaining about
16:51out not
16:51working.
16:52Hey,
16:53a bit
16:53stuck
16:53the
16:53head
16:53did
16:54his
16:54kid.
16:54Hey,
16:54don't
16:55distract
16:55him.
16:56Keep
16:56his
16:56eyes
16:56on
16:56road.
16:58From
16:58here,
16:58there's
16:58a
16:58magnificent
16:59view
16:59of
16:59that
17:00red
17:00warning
17:00light
17:01on
17:01the
17:01dashboard.
17:12She's a
17:13luxury
17:14motor.
17:16Belonged
17:16to a
17:16title
17:17lord.
17:18Look at
17:19them
17:19switches,
17:20eh?
17:21Eh?
17:21Crammed
17:22full of
17:22extras.
17:23No
17:23essentials,
17:24just
17:24extras.
17:26That's
17:26a
17:26minute
17:26your
17:27mate,
17:27isn't
17:27he?
17:28Oh,
17:28right,
17:29I'm
17:29not
17:29saying
17:30she
17:30doesn't
17:30need
17:30tidying
17:31up
17:31here
17:32and
17:32there.
17:32Hey,
17:33can that
17:33doggy
17:34yours
17:34really
17:34ride
17:34the
17:35bike?
17:35They'll
17:35have to
17:36load it.
17:36You can't
17:37rely on
17:37the damn
17:37car.
17:38Bloody
17:38thing's
17:39got no
17:39sense
17:39of
17:39balance.
17:40Listen,
17:41I've
17:41been
17:41thinking,
17:42what we
17:43ought
17:43to do
17:43is to
17:44slow
17:44down
17:45before
17:45this
17:45next
17:46hill.
17:46To
17:46be
17:47absolutely
17:47honest,
17:48I
17:48think
17:48you're
17:49going
17:49to
17:49need
17:49a
17:49new
17:50set
17:50of
17:50brain
17:50linings.
17:58I'm
17:58all
17:58this
17:59stupid
17:59cross-eyed
18:00pillage,
18:01you great
18:02left-footed
18:03car.
18:04You're
18:04locking up,
18:05you stupid
18:06poor
18:07hand.
18:07I'll tell
18:08you what,
18:09you
18:09d**k.
18:10You're
18:10able to be
18:11the first
18:11motorist to
18:12have the
18:12remains of a
18:13Homba
18:13stuffed up in
18:14a...
18:15I told you
18:16if we've got a
18:17car, we get
18:17about more.
18:18Things go wrong
18:19when I get in
18:20a car, but
18:20I'll beat it
18:21yet.
18:22You've got to
18:22overcome these
18:23setsbacks.
18:24He's a lunatic
18:25that, Walter.
18:26He will
18:26ride to
18:27back in
18:27brake
18:27riding.
18:28If he drives
18:29a car like
18:29that, he's
18:30the last
18:30person that
18:31should be
18:31teaching a
18:32dog to
18:32drive a
18:33bicycle.
18:34Do you
18:34suppose he's
18:35always driven
18:35on the
18:36right?
18:37You
18:37should have
18:37stood right
18:38from the
18:39start we
18:39weren't
18:39interested in.
18:40About when
18:41we saw that
18:41lethal
18:42machine.
18:42I tried
18:43to give
18:43him the
18:43hint when
18:44that door
18:44fell off.
18:45Well,
18:45this should
18:45have been
18:46more forceful.
18:47You
18:48can't go
18:48hurting
18:49people's
18:49feelings.
18:50It's not
18:51as though
18:51he was
18:51a
18:51relative.
18:52Oh,
18:53Cyril can.
18:53It's a
18:54gift.
18:54Oh,
18:54I've
18:55less of
18:55the
18:55Cyril.
18:56Don't
18:56forget he
18:56went on
18:57that
18:57such
18:57course
18:58in
18:58the
18:58army
18:59for
18:59a
19:01corporal.
19:01Hey,
19:02hoppy,
19:02wait for
19:02me.
19:03We'll
19:03walk
19:03back
19:03together.
19:04You
19:04have
19:04no
19:04idea
19:05how
19:05shirty
19:05that
19:05fella's
19:06getting.
19:06Can't
19:07he
19:07take
19:07a
19:07joke,
19:08then?
19:19Now,
19:20I've
19:20left you
19:20everything
19:21you'll
19:21need.
19:22You'll
19:22just
19:22need
19:22to
19:22keep
19:22an
19:23eye
19:23on
19:23it.
19:24Are
19:25you
19:25listening
19:25to
19:25me?
19:26Yes,
19:26as
19:26fast
19:27as
19:27you're
19:27gobbin'
19:27and
19:27making
19:28mental
19:28notes.
19:29We
19:30all
19:30know
19:30how
19:30mental
19:31they're
19:31likely
19:31to
19:32be.
19:32Just
19:33you
19:33let
19:33that
19:33stuff
19:33burn,
19:34that's
19:34all,
19:34and
19:35don't
19:35spill
19:35on
19:36the
19:36oven.
19:36Looks
19:37like
19:37a
19:37garage
19:37floor
19:38when
19:38you've
19:38been
19:38round.
19:39How
19:39is
19:40it
19:40some
19:40fellas
19:40just
19:40can't
19:41go
19:41wrong?
19:41What?
19:43Oh,
19:43him,
19:44what's
19:44come up
19:44in the
19:44pools?
19:45Oh,
19:45an ex-column.
19:46Oh.
19:47Him that
19:47ran his
19:47wife over
19:48backing his
19:48car out
19:49of the
19:49garage.
19:51You'll
19:52be sorry
19:52when I'm
19:53gone.
19:53You've
19:54been going
19:54for the
19:54past two
19:54hours.
19:56For
19:56good,
19:56I mean,
19:57I shan't
19:57always be
19:58here,
19:58you know.
19:58You bloody
19:59will at
19:59this
19:59rate.
20:01You'll
20:01be grudging
20:01me,
20:02don't
20:02you?
20:02You'll
20:02be
20:03grudging,
20:03admit it,
20:04two hours
20:04off to
20:05visit me
20:05own
20:05sister in
20:06hospital.
20:07Be
20:07grudging,
20:07I wish
20:08you'd
20:08go and
20:08visit
20:08your
20:08sister
20:09in
20:09New
20:09Zealand.
20:11It's
20:11like
20:11coming
20:12home
20:12walking
20:12in
20:13here,
20:13it
20:13restores
20:14your
20:14faith in
20:15things.
20:15Three
20:16teas,
20:17please,
20:17Sidney,
20:17when you
20:17finish
20:18opening
20:18and
20:18going.
20:19Aye,
20:20hot and
20:20sweet,
20:21it's
20:21for
20:21shock.
20:23We've
20:24been out
20:24all the
20:25morning
20:25having
20:26this
20:26accident,
20:26and we
20:27haven't
20:27finished,
20:28we haven't
20:29finished with
20:29it yet,
20:29it's
20:30followed us
20:30here.
20:31It was
20:31Clegg's
20:31idea.
20:32To
20:32have an
20:32accident,
20:33oh no,
20:33credit where
20:34it's due,
20:35Walter thought
20:35of that.
20:36To me,
20:36it was that
20:36clown on
20:37the tractor.
20:38Well,
20:38that's the
20:38inconsiderate
20:39way the
20:39world goes,
20:40round every
20:40bend,
20:41there's
20:41always some
20:42clown on
20:42his
20:42proper
20:43side
20:43of
20:43the
20:43road.
20:43He
20:44was
20:44speeding,
20:44he
20:45was
20:45going
20:45like
20:45a
20:45lunatic.
20:46Uphill,
20:47on a
20:47tractor.
20:49Kid,
20:50this is
20:50Walter.
20:51How are
20:53you fixed
20:54for a
20:54case or two
20:55of
20:55spaghetti?
20:55I
20:55could
20:56meet
20:56you
20:56on a
20:56prize.
20:57Don't
20:57dodge
20:57it
20:57with a
20:58barge
20:58bowl.
20:59There's
20:59a free
20:59CID
21:00man with
21:00every
21:01back.
21:01I like
21:02that,
21:02is it?
21:02You'll get
21:03me flaming
21:04honks
21:04spreading
21:04rumours
21:05like that.
21:05I'm in
21:05enough
21:06trouble as
21:06it is.
21:06I'm
21:06supposed to
21:07be selling
21:07that car
21:08on commission
21:08for this
21:08fella.
21:09He's
21:09about
21:10eight
21:10foot
21:10tall
21:11and
21:11chunky
21:12with
21:12it.
21:12Oh,
21:12I can't
21:13stop
21:13here,
21:14Gabby,
21:14I'm
21:14going
21:14underground.
21:15You
21:16mean
21:16like
21:16at your
21:16funeral?
21:18No,
21:18not
21:19like
21:19at a
21:19funeral.
21:20What a
21:20lousy
21:20thing
21:21to
21:21say.
21:22He's
21:22got so
21:23much
21:23to live
21:23for,
21:24has
21:24Walter.
21:25Aye,
21:25all that
21:26stuff
21:26in
21:26front
21:27room.
21:27Hey,
21:28what about
21:28oh,
21:29Ivy,
21:29Ivy,
21:30Ivy,
21:30what about
21:30some
21:31sugar
21:31there?
21:32They
21:32know
21:33where
21:33it
21:33is
21:33if
21:33you
21:33change
21:33your
21:33mind
21:34about
21:34spaghetti.
21:36Hey,
21:36Ivy,
21:38this is
21:38Walter.
21:39His
21:39dog rides
21:40a bicycle.
21:40No,
21:41it
21:41don't,
21:42Mrs.
21:42It
21:43keeps
21:43falling
21:44off.
21:45You
21:46men,
21:46you
21:46get
21:47dafter.
21:48What's
21:48this
21:49about
21:49spaghetti?
21:49Now,
21:50don't
21:50you
21:50go
21:50touching
21:51any
21:51of
21:51that
21:51knocked
21:51off
21:52stuff.
21:52Ivy,
21:53leave
21:53him,
21:53run
21:54away
21:54with
21:54me,
21:54you're
21:54looking
21:55very
21:55edible.
21:56You
21:56get
21:56on
21:56with
21:56your
21:57tea.
21:57Hey,
21:58made
21:58you
21:58an
21:58offer.
21:59Least
21:59you
21:59can
21:59do
21:59is
21:59think
22:00about
22:00it.
22:01In
22:01half
22:02an
22:02hour,
22:03turn
22:03that
22:03oven
22:03down
22:04to
22:04number
22:04three.
22:05Oh,
22:05I
22:05can't
22:05stand
22:06all
22:06this
22:06romantic
22:07chatter.
22:07You're
22:07driving
22:08me
22:08wild.
22:11Hey,
22:14sis,
22:15she's
22:15looking
22:16very
22:16spruce.
22:17Have
22:17you
22:17been
22:17having
22:17her
22:17done
22:18up?
22:18I
22:18didn't
22:18get
22:18a
22:19grunt
22:19for it,
22:19if that's
22:19what you
22:20mean.
22:21Is it
22:22left
22:22and
22:22up for
22:23reverse or
22:23left
22:24and
22:24down?
22:25Does
22:25it
22:25matter
22:26anymore?
22:26It
22:27didn't
22:27seem
22:27to
22:27matter
22:27with
22:27that
22:28hillman.
22:28She
22:28went
22:28backwards
22:29wherever
22:29I
22:29pointed.
22:30All
22:30right.
22:31It's
22:31bound
22:32to
22:32be
22:32a
22:32bit
22:32scratched,
22:33but
22:33I'll
22:33tell
22:33you
22:33what
22:34I'll
22:34do.
22:34I'll
22:34knock
22:35a
22:35fiver
22:35off.
22:36Now
22:36that's
22:36giving
22:37it
22:37away.
22:37Yeah,
22:38well,
22:38we're
22:38going
22:39after
22:39something
22:40smaller.
22:41How
22:41lucky
22:42can
22:42you
22:43be?
22:43Because
22:43after
22:44a
22:44crunch
22:44like
22:45that
22:45it's
22:45got
22:45to
22:46be
22:46smaller.
22:55If
22:55you're
22:55unlucky
22:56with
22:56cars,
22:56why
22:57persist?
22:58It
22:58isn't
22:58as if
22:59there's
22:59a
22:59shortage
23:00of
23:00assets
23:00on
23:00the
23:01roads.
23:01Nobody's
23:02going
23:02to
23:02miss
23:02your
23:02contribution.
23:03It's
23:04a
23:04challenge.
23:05A
23:05man
23:05needs
23:06to
23:06be
23:06stretched
23:06to
23:06his
23:07limits
23:07sometimes.
23:08As
23:08when
23:08changing
23:09a
23:09light
23:09bulb,
23:10for
23:10instance.
23:11I
23:11bet
23:11these
23:11in
23:12the
23:12window
23:12cost
23:12more
23:12than
23:13thirty
23:13quid.
23:15What
23:16do you
23:16think?
23:17You
23:17never
23:17know
23:18round
23:18here.
23:18They
23:18drive
23:19you
23:19spare.
23:20They
23:20could
23:20be
23:20worth
23:20a
23:20fortune
23:21and
23:21still
23:21dress
23:22like
23:22somebody's
23:22armpit.
23:24If
23:24you
23:24take
23:24my
23:25advice,
23:25you'll
23:26only
23:26get
23:26snotty
23:26with
23:27those
23:27customers
23:27that
23:27come
23:28dressed
23:28up.
23:29They're
23:29real
23:29peasants
23:30these
23:30days.
23:31He's
23:32overdoing
23:32it a
23:32bit
23:32though
23:33and
23:33to him
23:33with
23:33a
23:33wellie.
23:34Listen,
23:34if
23:34a
23:34nussie
23:35slid
23:35round
23:35here,
23:35he'd
23:35look
23:36just
23:36like
23:36that.
23:37Jacky
23:38is
23:38something
23:38to
23:38think
23:38about,
23:39won't
23:39it?
23:41Will
23:42it be
23:42cash
23:42of
23:42credit,
23:43sir?
23:43Oh,
23:44foul
23:44notes,
23:44lad!
24:14Oh,
24:15they're
24:15high.
24:46I'm getting the hang of it.
24:47Well, that's encouraging.
24:49You're all right, as long as we're pushing.
24:52He's absolutely fearless, is this lad.
24:55Not half the breath either.
24:56No, he's a wonderful condition for his age.
25:00Stop moaning.
25:01He just needs a little help occasionally, that's all.
25:04More out of this damn car than in.
25:06I told you if we got the right car, you'd get out more.
25:10You're walking around the open road.
25:12Sunshine, the wind blowing through your hernia.
25:16Don't joking either.
25:19Oh, they're wonderful, these labour-saving devices.
25:22Make life that much easier.
25:24Hey, Cyril, why have you gone that funny colour?
25:28Because I'm doing all the shoving.
25:30Get your back into it.
25:32Hey, I'll catch him.
25:33What's your corporal over, your corporal?
25:35Hey, Cyril, your stripes are showing.
25:37Well, that's nothing to what you're showing from that tatty rear end.
25:41Dock it in.
25:42Everybody don't want to be reading your number plate.
25:55It's a bit rough, this road.
25:57It's a bit rough, this driving.
25:59I'm just getting the hang of it.
26:01Who are you tugging?
26:03Who are you tugging?
26:04I thought it was the indicator.
26:06At least we're not going backwards, are we?
26:09Oh, a terrific sense of direction, this lad.
26:12Wonderfully impressed of speed through the holes in these floorboards.
26:17I think after we've gone a bit further, we ought perhaps to get out and be sick.
26:35Don't you swear, Pat?
26:36Why didn't you swerve?
26:38I was swerving.
26:39Ah, right off his trouser legs.
26:41Where is he going to put your driving licence?
26:50I told you I was getting the hang of it.
27:03Tonight at nine, don't miss the first ever episode of Crime Crackers, DL and Pascoe,
27:08as the pair investigate the tragic death of a local rugby star.
27:11That's here on UK TV Drama.