- 12 hours ago
First broadcast 20th March 1984.
A group of house-sharing ex-college friends begin to find their existence disintegrating amid a backdrop of London riots and their own selfishly hedonistic lifestyle.
Frances Barber - Viv
Chris Jury - Baz
Diana Katis - Annie
Jenifer Landor - Jane
Ian Reddington - Rusty
Stephen Tiller - Tone
Michael Skyers - Lloyd
A group of house-sharing ex-college friends begin to find their existence disintegrating amid a backdrop of London riots and their own selfishly hedonistic lifestyle.
Frances Barber - Viv
Chris Jury - Baz
Diana Katis - Annie
Jenifer Landor - Jane
Ian Reddington - Rusty
Stephen Tiller - Tone
Michael Skyers - Lloyd
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00:00I
00:00:30Back in a minute. Put the kettle on.
00:00:46It's staying cold.
00:00:49Arlene!
00:00:51Oh, excusez-moi.
00:01:00Sorry, I only live here.
00:01:16Morning. Morning.
00:01:20How do you manage to look so great first thing in the morning?
00:01:23I don't know. Clean living, I suppose.
00:01:27Probably.
00:01:43Rise and shine.
00:01:45Morning. Morning. Hi. Coffee.
00:01:49Yeah.
00:01:57What's your time?
00:01:59It's nearly half-eleventh.
00:02:01Oh, Christ. What a life.
00:02:04Wake up, slob.
00:02:06Wakey, wakey! Wakey, wakey!
00:02:09What about it now?
00:02:12Shit.
00:02:14This man has an English degree.
00:02:16Don't you?
00:02:17A hundred words a minute, darling. That's all I've got.
00:02:19That and my sublime good looks.
00:02:21Christ, this room looks like I feel.
00:02:23The room we can straighten up.
00:02:26I'm gonna have to stop enjoying myself so often.
00:02:27It's killing me.
00:02:36Right.
00:02:37Get down.
00:02:37Spread it.
00:02:39Strike two.
00:02:40Be out in a minute, Buz.
00:02:46What's the scam then?
00:02:47Camdennock, round by some clothes.
00:02:49I thought we were having lunch with Nigel.
00:02:50Well, then we'll take him to the routine at the stand.
00:02:52Oh, he could take us.
00:02:54Nigel, hi, hello. It's a beautiful.
00:02:55Hello, Nigel.
00:02:56Did you go home okay last night?
00:02:58I thought we were having lunch with Nigel.
00:02:58Well, I'm not.
00:03:02Listen, this cat goes to 11.
00:03:04Oh, I'm good, bloody afford it.
00:03:10Oh, sorry, Nigel, you're not up yet.
00:03:12Oh, sorry.
00:03:13Well, hurry up and get up, will you,
00:03:14because we're going to Camdenlock and then lunch at Rooters, don't we?
00:03:17Meet you in the Elgin, Nigel.
00:03:18Oh, I'm rusting.
00:03:18Oh, for God's sake.
00:03:20OK, so you're in about half a nap, then.
00:03:22Bye-bye.
00:03:25Time I obluchered.
00:03:27Time you bought it.
00:03:28Oh, knock it off, you two.
00:03:29You've only just waved them up.
00:03:30We can row in our sleep.
00:03:32Too right.
00:03:32Mm, you're rusting.
00:03:34You'd better take the kettle.
00:03:35There's no hot water.
00:03:37Christ, get the tin bath out.
00:03:39No hot water?
00:03:40It was all gone when I got up.
00:03:42Someone must have used it all.
00:03:44She does it on purpose, you know, she must do.
00:03:47I couldn't put up with it.
00:03:50Do you think she'll move in with her new man?
00:03:53Don't know.
00:03:54Well, if she does, remember I'm looking for somewhere.
00:03:57What about it?
00:03:58Oh, what happened to the kettle?
00:04:00Um, Rusty's got it in the bathroom.
00:04:01He's shaving.
00:04:02There was no hot water.
00:04:04Well, it's just we put it on for coffee.
00:04:05Oh, you put it on?
00:04:07I'm sorry, Jane.
00:04:08I've used your cups as well, haven't I?
00:04:09That doesn't matter.
00:04:10No, look, I'll get you some more.
00:04:11It's bloody kettle, is it?
00:04:13It's a pain in the arm.
00:04:14Shut up.
00:04:14She'll hear you.
00:04:15I should worry.
00:04:19Rusty, can I have the kettle?
00:04:24You've got to offer.
00:04:27We know.
00:04:28And strike three, you're out.
00:04:37Jane, you wouldn't be a darling and throw us the aspirins.
00:04:40Oh, sure.
00:04:43They're not very good for you, you know.
00:04:45Is that right?
00:04:46Mm, they make your stomach bleed.
00:04:47Oh, I'll remember that.
00:04:51Oh, give us a break, girls.
00:04:53I mean, not all three at once, eh?
00:04:54Hark at the Virgin Prince.
00:04:56Well?
00:04:56Well, happy campers.
00:04:57Oh, how was Rusty's group last night?
00:04:59Banded band.
00:05:00Yes, they were really good.
00:05:02It's an old style of no content, you ask me.
00:05:04We didn't.
00:05:04Yeah, well, I mean, they just stand there poking at the bloody stylophones.
00:05:08They don't do anything.
00:05:09It's like watching rigor mortis set in.
00:05:11It's supposed to be conceptual, dummy.
00:05:13Oh, darling, it was very.
00:05:14Baz, why don't you go out and get the papers?
00:05:16Oh, it's okay.
00:05:17Tone's gone.
00:05:19Oh, Tone.
00:05:20So I finally get to meet him.
00:05:22What's he like, Jane?
00:05:23What's your type, dear?
00:05:24And what exactly is my type?
00:05:27Conceptual rigor mortis.
00:05:29He's my affliction, not my type.
00:05:31Well, people aren't types.
00:05:32They're people.
00:05:35Not in my experience, dear.
00:05:40Could I have your rent checks today, please?
00:05:42And there's an electricity bill to pay.
00:05:44Oh, how much?
00:05:44Uh, 35 each.
00:05:46What?
00:05:46Mm-hmm.
00:05:47Bloody hell.
00:05:48Can I give it to you tomorrow, Viv?
00:05:49I'll have to get it off my mum.
00:05:52Well, I wanted to pay it in tomorrow.
00:05:54Why don't you own tea?
00:05:55No, I want to pay it in tomorrow.
00:05:57Okay?
00:05:58Okay, well, can I give you the electric today and the rent tomorrow?
00:06:00Yes, okay, that's fine.
00:06:02Oh, no, don't worry.
00:06:02You don't need to do it now.
00:06:04It's like getting blood out of a stone, if you know you what a bean.
00:06:07You should leave those sort of comments in the playground.
00:06:10Sorry?
00:06:10Don't follow?
00:06:11I'll give you mine later.
00:06:12There's no way I can't pay attention to tomorrow, are you?
00:06:15Well, what's all the fuss, then?
00:06:17Just want to make sure I get it, that's all.
00:06:19Well, of course you'll get it.
00:06:21She doesn't mean yours, silly.
00:06:24Bloody hell.
00:06:28Morning all.
00:06:31Well, hello, Tone.
00:06:33Hello, there.
00:06:34I'm Annie.
00:06:36Congratulations.
00:06:41Here you are.
00:06:43Oh, coffee.
00:06:44You're all right.
00:07:09Well, this is cosy.
00:07:13I say...
00:07:14Oh, shut up, woman.
00:07:15I'm trying to read.
00:07:15Keep trying.
00:07:16You'll get the hang of it.
00:07:19God, newspapers are so boring.
00:07:21Da, da, da, da, da.
00:07:22Well, look at you bunch of stiffs.
00:07:24Are you going to be like this all day?
00:07:25Who knows?
00:07:26I just might be.
00:07:27I mean, you know how it is when you wake up in the morning
00:07:29and get out the wrong side of the futon?
00:07:40Does she often do that?
00:07:44What?
00:07:45Stumble around with nothing on.
00:07:48I didn't notice.
00:07:51I did.
00:07:52It is a bit unnecessary.
00:07:54She only does it to be noticed.
00:07:55Well, it worked.
00:07:56Ah, she shouted up, bring in lass.
00:07:59Nah, we've all seen Woodstock, man.
00:08:20Listen, Tone.
00:08:22Buzz's first law, never criticise Fibb's pals.
00:08:26It will only end in tears.
00:08:28As in second law, keep shtum and keep your head down.
00:08:33You must give me a copy of the rules.
00:08:35I'd so hate to make a gaff.
00:08:37Yeah.
00:08:37You know me.
00:08:38I only open my mouth to change feet.
00:08:42Yeah.
00:08:42Well, just don't play dumb.
00:08:44We can't have two of us doing that.
00:08:46How about if I maintain a dignified silence?
00:08:48Well, that's just done with an English degree.
00:08:51Which would seem to be the prevailing human condition round here.
00:09:00Why do we have to go to the sodding Elgin?
00:09:02Because I want to, okay?
00:09:04But it's full of middle-aged wogs.
00:09:06Tut, tut.
00:09:08Still trendy delight wogs, is it?
00:09:10Trend, it's de rigueur, darling.
00:09:12Well, it's one fad I'm not follying for.
00:09:15Yeah, it'll be the first.
00:09:18God, you're ugly when you pout.
00:09:21Well, it's not you who gets your bum groped.
00:09:24Well, I bet.
00:09:26Hurry up, you two.
00:09:28And we're going back to my place tonight, okay?
00:09:30Will you just not hassle me, sweetheart?
00:09:31Okay.
00:09:33Look, I've smudged my blusher.
00:09:35Oh, God.
00:09:38Are you two staying in all day?
00:09:40Oh, probably.
00:09:41You won't forget to set the burglar along if you go out there, will you?
00:09:44No, of course not.
00:09:45Burglar along?
00:09:48Yes.
00:09:50What's wrong with that?
00:09:52You know, the number of breakings you get around is incredible.
00:09:56I don't find it hard to believe.
00:09:58Well, you know what I mean.
00:10:01I know what you mean.
00:10:03There's nothing wrong with wanting to protect your own property, though.
00:10:07I never said there was.
00:10:09Wasn't.
00:10:10Well, then.
00:10:12I'm ready for the world.
00:10:14But is the world ready for me?
00:10:16You're never going out like that.
00:10:18Right.
00:10:18And why not?
00:10:19You lad, I don't know where we went wrong.
00:10:22It's enough to make you throw your bollocks at the clock.
00:10:25I mean, Rusty, it's all right on stage, you know.
00:10:27But in the real world, it's all fade to grey, right?
00:10:30I mean, let's all do the conformity dance, right?
00:10:33No chance.
00:10:33This is me.
00:10:34And if people don't like it...
00:10:35Let her make cake.
00:10:36Right.
00:10:38Oh, ha-ha.
00:10:40And who's this person?
00:10:42This is town.
00:10:44Yes, it is, isn't it?
00:10:46I really like your trousers, Rusty.
00:10:48They're jodhpers, darling.
00:10:49Jodhpers.
00:10:49Please, can I borrow a top?
00:10:51Yes, of course.
00:10:53I'll see you.
00:10:58Does it really bother you that much?
00:11:01No?
00:11:03Clothes.
00:11:04What people think.
00:11:06That's what bothers people.
00:11:07It doesn't bother me.
00:11:08Proper little threat to society, haven't we?
00:11:10No, no, no, turn.
00:11:12You see, the way I see it,
00:11:14Wusty is reacting against the dwebbleness of contemporary industrial Britain
00:11:19by making his stand as the individualist against the crowd
00:11:23by asserting his free spirit against any collective will.
00:11:28This she does by going to clubs
00:11:31where 200 other free spirits stand around in identical clothes
00:11:34staring at each other.
00:11:36I'm just piss off back to Bradford, Ben.
00:11:38Sheffield.
00:11:39Now, look, I'll let you off if you lend me a fiver.
00:11:41You're going to be kidding.
00:11:42I'm skint.
00:11:44Anyway, what happened to your doll?
00:11:45Look, if you hadn't noticed,
00:11:46the bastards are on a work to rule.
00:11:48I haven't had a gyro for a month, so come on.
00:11:49I haven't got a fiver to lend you.
00:11:51Oh, bloody hell.
00:11:55Jane, till the end of the week.
00:11:57What?
00:11:58A measly fiver.
00:11:59End of the week?
00:12:00Yeah, I promise.
00:12:04You are an angel.
00:12:06You're a shit.
00:12:11Well, private partner.
00:12:12Right, are we all ready then?
00:12:13I've been ready for half an hour.
00:12:21We'll clean up when we get back.
00:12:23Oh, it's all right, Viv.
00:12:23I'll do it.
00:12:24No, don't be silly, Jane.
00:12:25It's our mess.
00:12:26Okay.
00:12:27Okay, see you later, Viv.
00:12:29Yeah, have a nice time.
00:12:29Bye.
00:12:30Bye.
00:12:30Bye.
00:12:30Enjoy the papers, too.
00:12:33I'll do it.
00:12:35I'll do it.
00:12:36I'll do it.
00:12:37I'll do it.
00:12:41What have you been in that creep of fiver for?
00:12:43I could hardly refuse, could I?
00:12:45Last you'll see of it.
00:12:47Let it bloody not be.
00:12:49Well, look on the bright side.
00:12:52I think I quite enjoy wringing his neck if he don't cough up.
00:12:55Brute.
00:12:58I've got big plans for that boy, considering who his old man is.
00:13:02What do you mean?
00:13:04Big plans.
00:13:11You ought to give this place a name.
00:13:15Little plaque on the front gate.
00:13:18Something nice and cosy to go with the burglar alarm.
00:13:21The pressure cooker.
00:13:23How about that?
00:13:25Very domestic.
00:13:27Or perhaps, uh, done thinking.
00:13:29Stop it.
00:13:33Hello?
00:13:35Yeah, hang on.
00:13:36It's for you.
00:13:37Eh?
00:13:38Someone called Lloyd.
00:13:44Hello, Lloyd.
00:13:48What?
00:13:49Who knifed him?
00:13:52Look, I'm just trying to get the story, Lloyd.
00:14:02Yeah, one o'clock outside the railway.
00:14:09What did Lloyd want?
00:14:11Ah, it's been a bit of a barney.
00:14:12Black kids and the old girl.
00:14:14No big deal.
00:14:15Where?
00:14:17About half a mile down the road.
00:14:20Are you going out, then?
00:14:21Not for a bit.
00:14:24Well, is it safe?
00:14:26Dunno.
00:14:28It's OK.
00:14:29Any trouble, I'll just flash me a new J card.
00:14:34Oi, gorgeous.
00:14:35What are you doing?
00:14:36Washing up.
00:14:40I stand and fight with all thy might.
00:14:46Christ is thy strength and Christ my might.
00:14:53Behold on my path, it shall be.
00:14:58Thy joy and crown return on me.
00:15:05From the streets rich through God's good grace.
00:15:12In love, thy light and see you.
00:15:15With all thy might.
00:15:17Lay hold on life and it shall be.
00:15:24Shut up.
00:15:26Shut up.
00:15:27No, no, no, no.
00:15:32Oh, sorry, you weren't, er...
00:15:35Oh, no.
00:15:36No, I was just surprised, didn't you?
00:15:39Anti-torture training.
00:15:41Seeing how long I could stand it.
00:15:44God, I hate hims.
00:15:46I ain't Christians.
00:15:48You know, my mum once told me that the fact I didn't believe in God was evidence of my own
00:15:53limited imagination.
00:15:56Yeah.
00:15:57There's one thing I hate more than a Christian.
00:16:00What's that?
00:16:01A glib Christian.
00:16:04She also taught me to respect other people's beliefs.
00:16:08That could be a bloody liberal, your mum.
00:16:10Charlie.
00:16:12Not at all.
00:16:13Bleeding rude, I'd say.
00:16:16Yes, well, I was using bourgeois understatement.
00:16:19I know.
00:16:20I can smell it a mile off.
00:16:22Do you also have to be quite so...
00:16:23Honest.
00:16:24Yeah.
00:16:25I'm an extremist, you see.
00:16:27Loony left.
00:16:29Anyway, I've got to go and see how we're getting on with Operation Swamp.
00:16:35What?
00:16:36Operation Swamp, darling.
00:16:39Swamp.
00:16:42According to Thatcher's penetrating analysis, we're in danger of being swamped by an alien
00:16:48culture.
00:16:49Vis Nasty Dark is in Brixton.
00:16:51Hence, Operation Swamp.
00:16:54Christ.
00:16:55Where have you been?
00:16:58Count and look.
00:17:01There's more coppers out there than a Freemason's Bull, didn't you notice?
00:17:04Well, I noticed one or two.
00:17:06One or two?
00:17:08That's an army of occupation.
00:17:09An army of stark wars.
00:17:11I find it hard to think of a few policemen as an army of occupation.
00:17:14You ain't black.
00:17:16Neither are you.
00:17:17That's not the point.
00:17:19You own a house.
00:17:20A nice house.
00:17:22Unfortunately, it's going to be right slap bang in the middle when it all goes up.
00:17:25I wonder what goes up.
00:17:27Out there now, they're lifting anyone with a black face for whatever reason they care
00:17:31to make up.
00:17:32It's called positive policing and it's a mistake.
00:17:36It's going to be hell to pay.
00:17:39Your burglar alarm ain't going to be a lot of use.
00:17:43I don't think you'll get your war.
00:17:47I'll huff and I'll puff.
00:17:54See ya.
00:18:06Hi.
00:18:07Hi.
00:18:07How's it going?
00:18:08Oh, boring.
00:18:10Company law.
00:18:11Who needs it?
00:18:12Companies.
00:18:15Have you been shopping?
00:18:16Yes, I've gone mad.
00:18:17I've spent 50 quid.
00:18:18How can you afford it?
00:18:19Well, I can't really.
00:18:20But I've got some lovely things.
00:18:21Look, shall I show you?
00:18:22Okay.
00:18:26I've got a suit.
00:18:28And some trousers.
00:18:29That's nice.
00:18:30And a jumper for work, if I ever get any.
00:18:33Oh, I like the trousers.
00:18:34Yeah, Annie's got a pair the same.
00:18:36They look nice on her.
00:18:37They'll probably make me look like a horse.
00:18:38Don't be silly.
00:18:40Hey, look, I know.
00:18:41If I try them on, will you give me an honest opinion?
00:18:43Well, that'll be fine.
00:18:44Honest opinion.
00:18:46Okay.
00:18:47Go on, then.
00:18:49This is lovely.
00:18:51Isn't it?
00:18:53You know, if these don't look right, I can always take them back.
00:18:58So I'm relying on you.
00:19:00Okay.
00:19:06Now, can I have your help?
00:19:08Oh, sure.
00:19:09Oh, dear.
00:19:11All right.
00:19:12All right.
00:19:13All ready?
00:19:15Oh, God.
00:19:16Oh, yeah.
00:19:17Jane, if so.
00:19:19Okay.
00:19:21So.
00:19:25What do they look like?
00:19:26They look fine.
00:19:28Well, be a bit more positive.
00:19:30Sorry.
00:19:30They look great.
00:19:32Well, yes, but am I the most beautiful woman you've ever seen?
00:19:35You are, without doubt, the most beautiful woman in the world.
00:19:38You're saying this of your own free will, of course.
00:19:41Would I lie to you?
00:19:42End the conversation, then.
00:19:47Hey, I know.
00:19:49Where is it?
00:19:50Yeah, but I bought this, and I know it's not going to suit you, so you must have it.
00:19:56But it's yours.
00:19:59If that's me, if that's me, I must have been someone else.
00:20:01Try it on.
00:20:03Go on.
00:20:03Okay.
00:20:04Okay.
00:20:06Let's see.
00:20:27It's repulsive.
00:20:31You have it.
00:20:33Well, I couldn't be.
00:20:33Of course you could.
00:20:35Go on.
00:20:35Try some.
00:20:37All right, then.
00:20:48Well?
00:20:51It's lovely.
00:20:53It's yours.
00:20:54Well, thanks, Viv.
00:20:56How much was it?
00:20:57A couple of quid.
00:20:57Well, let me give it to you.
00:20:58No, no, no.
00:20:59Look, I said it's supposed to be a present.
00:21:00Let me see you.
00:21:01Oh, thanks.
00:21:04Hey, look.
00:21:05I'm meeting the others in rumours in Carmel Garden.
00:21:07So why don't you?
00:21:09Too much work.
00:21:10Go on.
00:21:11Look, it's ages since we've all been out together.
00:21:12I know, but my exams start in six weeks.
00:21:15Anyway, I'm not very good in a gang.
00:21:18A gang?
00:21:19It wasn't Will.
00:21:21Oh, I didn't mean...
00:21:22Oh, you know what I mean.
00:21:24I think I do a gang.
00:21:26Gang of what?
00:21:27Gang of kids?
00:21:29No, I just...
00:21:30Just a gang.
00:21:34I don't want to go to this bloody cocktail bar anyway.
00:21:36Well, don't then.
00:21:37No, I don't have to, do I, if I don't want to do.
00:21:40I might as well, though, because they'll be expecting me.
00:21:42The gang.
00:21:47It's a funny thought, isn't it?
00:21:49All this is mine.
00:21:52The chairs, the table, the carpets.
00:21:56Even the dirt in the corners is mine.
00:22:00The ring round the bath, it's mine.
00:22:02I own it.
00:22:04It's a funny thought.
00:22:07What you supposed to do with it all when you own it?
00:22:12Look, here it all is, and what?
00:22:15Well, just live in it.
00:22:17Just live in it.
00:22:18What a drag.
00:22:22It's not what I'd really like.
00:22:25A house with a garden.
00:22:26We've got a garden.
00:22:28Chelsea or somewhere.
00:22:30That's what I should aim for.
00:22:31Chelsea cost the earth.
00:22:32Yes, well, my parents, they look on it as an investment.
00:22:36Because I'm sort of sitting on their money, really, watching it grow.
00:22:41I'd rather watch it grow in Chelsea, frankly, with a garden.
00:22:49Do you want a drink?
00:22:50Oh, no, thanks.
00:22:53You're trying to work, aren't you?
00:22:55Sorry.
00:22:59Crunchy.
00:23:01Chick.
00:23:02No, gin's not in this one.
00:23:03Gin.
00:23:04No, it's not.
00:23:05Vodka.
00:23:07Give it.
00:23:08Brandy.
00:23:08Jesus Christ.
00:23:09Martini.
00:23:11This cocktail's my very own invention.
00:23:13It's called the Neutron Bomb.
00:23:14It destroys human flesh when it lives now.
00:23:16It's thanks.
00:23:17Oh, don't spill it on the carpet, because it'll burn a blood hole.
00:23:20Now, we shake, standing well back, and pour.
00:23:24It's a funny color.
00:23:25You tell me.
00:23:26No, in these cherries, you can't have a cocktail without cherries.
00:23:29Where's my bloody drink, then?
00:23:31Just find the cherries, dummy.
00:23:32Yeah, we'll hurry up, then.
00:23:33Oh, cocktail sticks.
00:23:34Oh, probably the cocktail sticks.
00:23:35I'm in need of a drink, Mum.
00:23:37Cheers.
00:23:38Cheers.
00:23:41I'll tell you how far I've gone in the bag.
00:23:43Oh, of course you can.
00:23:43Bad looks, eh?
00:23:46You'll kill yourself, you will.
00:23:47Oh, don't be such a wimp, Bad.
00:23:49No, you won't.
00:23:49Twist you, too.
00:23:51Oh, God.
00:23:53He's right.
00:23:53I think I'm going to die.
00:23:57Haven't you got it set up yet, Bess?
00:24:00No, I bloody haven't.
00:24:01It's apparently the tape, for Christ's sake.
00:24:02I'll do it your bloody self, then.
00:24:03Oh, now, look, darling.
00:24:04I mean, you're the one with the magic screwdriver.
00:24:05Oh, for crying out loud.
00:24:09Here, have a drink.
00:24:12Oh, yeah.
00:24:12Cheers.
00:24:13Cheers.
00:24:17Very funny.
00:24:17What is it?
00:24:18It's a bloody cocktail, isn't it?
00:24:20Oh, yeah.
00:24:20Well, perhaps it means a little more eye of newt.
00:24:22Eye of newt.
00:24:23Yeah, we'll see if you can manage a proper one.
00:24:24See if you can manage between the sheets, yeah.
00:24:26A bit more than you care.
00:24:30Pathetic.
00:24:31Bess?
00:24:32Oh, God, you're so boring.
00:24:35Why'd you have to do that now?
00:24:37Because I promised Phil I'd give it him tomorrow, right?
00:24:39It's only a piddling song.
00:24:40Look, it's not just a piddling song, right?
00:24:44Mayors?
00:24:44All right.
00:24:46Christ.
00:24:55Rusty, this is supposed to be a party,
00:24:58and we're supposed to be having fun.
00:24:59Now, this is my house,
00:25:02and when I say everybody have fun,
00:25:04then everybody has fun, right?
00:25:07Fun.
00:25:07Right.
00:25:09All right.
00:25:11Vivian says everybody have...
00:25:14Whoopie.
00:25:16Vivian?
00:25:16Mm.
00:25:18Mm.
00:25:20Mm.
00:25:22Mm.
00:25:23Mm.
00:25:24Mm.
00:25:25Mm.
00:25:26Mm.
00:25:26Mm.
00:25:27Mm.
00:25:28Mm.
00:25:28It's very good.
00:25:33Shit, Vivian, that hurts.
00:25:34Good.
00:25:36Yes, come on.
00:25:36I don't...
00:25:37Vivian, stop.
00:25:38It doesn't want to...
00:25:39Vivian, stop me.
00:25:41Vivian, I'm warned you.
00:25:43No!
00:25:44Oh, no, no, no.
00:25:47Hey!
00:25:49Someone give Ken Russell a ring, he'd love this.
00:25:52Whee!
00:25:54Whoa!
00:25:57Stop it!
00:25:58Great fun.
00:26:01Well, that got rid of her, didn't it?
00:26:05I need a drink.
00:26:07Right, what are we going to put in this one?
00:26:14Arson.
00:26:15We'll all commit ritual suicide on poison cocktails.
00:26:20What a wonderful way to go.
00:26:22We could leave now in the dark.
00:26:24Hit the motorway.
00:26:26Never see the sun again.
00:26:28Never see the end.
00:26:33Ever.
00:26:34Come on, dear.
00:26:36Let's not get morbid.
00:26:40It's the food.
00:26:42No, it's not.
00:26:43It's new.
00:26:45Come on, we're supposed to be having fun!
00:26:47Yeah, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun.
00:26:50Seriously, girls?
00:26:51You're going to make yourselves really ill.
00:26:54So who gives a blind one?
00:26:57Well, I do, because I'm the one that's got to sleep with it, right?
00:26:59Nobody's forcing you.
00:27:00You're not exactly going to get dragged screaming into bed.
00:27:04Oh, yeah.
00:27:07Annie, he'll always sleep in my bed.
00:27:10Yeah.
00:27:11I don't need you.
00:27:14You like to break the rules, don't you, Rusty?
00:27:18Well, so do we.
00:27:20Don't we?
00:27:37See?
00:27:40Revolutionary. Real fifth form stuff. I must think, I'm not impressed.
00:27:44Right, all set to go.
00:27:45Now it's about time, Baz.
00:27:47Oh, all set to go. Baz, thanks a lot.
00:27:48That's all right, Rusty. Anything for a pal. Just go and ask again.
00:27:51Baz, will you not give me your...
00:27:52All right. Now look, you wear these cans.
00:27:54Sing into that mic that records your voice over the backing track. Got it?
00:27:59What, do you think I am an idiot?
00:28:00Don't answer that.
00:28:01No.
00:28:02What's the song called, Rusty?
00:28:04It's the shock of the knee.
00:28:06It's catchy.
00:28:07Yeah, well, just don't make any noise. It'll come out on the tape.
00:28:11I heard that!
00:28:12All right, girls. Come on. We're ready to go now. Come on.
00:28:17Oh, dear.
00:28:19What's this?
00:28:21Shh!
00:28:34There, sir.
00:28:36I'm so sorry, Baz. I thought it was on the second one.
00:28:38You do know where to come in, don't you?
00:28:40Yes, I've got it.
00:28:42That's the shock of the new take, too.
00:28:46Okay, now come on, girls.
00:28:49Vivian.
00:28:50Shh.
00:28:50Shh.
00:29:05There's a finger on my buggering.
00:29:08Where's the milk bottles?
00:29:09Well, I don't know where the milk bottles are.
00:29:11What do you want my milk bottles for?
00:29:13Cocktails.
00:29:14You stupid prick!
00:29:17Baz!
00:29:18Oh.
00:29:20Okay.
00:29:22There.
00:29:22Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
00:29:36There's a finger on my pulse.
00:29:39And the pulse is getting weak
00:29:43Hold your head back
00:29:45Look around
00:29:46People be dying
00:29:48Watch that sound
00:29:50It's heading for you
00:29:53It's the shock of the new
00:29:57Can you feel it too?
00:30:01It's the shock of the new
00:30:04You can't receive
00:30:06So don't fight back
00:30:11You can't resist
00:30:13So don't fight back
00:30:18That's their game
00:30:25They'll change you
00:30:27When the eternal
00:30:40I think it's a riot
00:30:42They've ruined my song
00:30:43I don't pine
00:30:44I think oh my small
00:30:44I think it's a
00:30:47I think it's
00:31:01The future
00:31:14still up doing your nails
00:31:21what's that you made of then
00:31:25been out
00:31:29should have
00:31:31quite an experience
00:31:34a wonderful time
00:31:36was had by all
00:31:37you should be short
00:31:42cut in your head
00:31:44yeah
00:31:45just my luck innit
00:31:47here we are lobbing rocks at the old bill
00:31:50I start lobbing them back
00:31:52crack
00:31:53I'll get one on the bonds
00:31:55good
00:31:58I could arrest you
00:32:01citizens arrest
00:32:03you're dangerous
00:32:05you could be a burglar
00:32:06I could stab you
00:32:09self-defense
00:32:10you could be a rapist
00:32:12who knows
00:32:15call me a scotch
00:32:16no
00:32:19you know my parents live in California
00:32:22well they've got a gun
00:32:25two
00:32:26one each
00:32:27is that only fair
00:32:29yes
00:32:33please will you pour me a scotch
00:32:45thank you
00:32:59you can put it away now
00:33:01you're right
00:33:03leave it out
00:33:06between you and me I think you're pathetic
00:33:11you've got a bit of a nerve
00:33:12haven't you
00:33:14coming into my house
00:33:15spreading your trail of disgust around
00:33:17like a slug
00:33:19everywhere you look
00:33:20a little silver trail
00:33:22I'd say that was a bit of a nerve
00:33:24did you?
00:33:25yes
00:33:27I've not been inhospitable
00:33:29I've let Jane have you here
00:33:31and all you've done is shit on us
00:33:32look what I do outside these four walls
00:33:35is none of your business
00:33:36we're not outside these four walls are you?
00:33:38here you are squatting here like you own the place
00:33:40and we can't have two of us to in there can we?
00:33:42I do own it
00:33:43here endeth
00:33:45well less
00:33:51you can tell Jane I don't want you here anymore
00:33:54tell her yourself
00:33:55it's her decision
00:33:56it's my decision
00:33:58we've all got to live here
00:34:01well
00:34:02finally noticed have you?
00:34:04I was beginning to think this was your own private party
00:34:07no gate crashes allowed
00:34:09well tell you the truth darling
00:34:11I don't want to join in with the crummy little scene you've got here
00:34:14I'm here because Jane invited me here
00:34:16now if you don't like it
00:34:17I suggest you learn to live with it
00:34:19or stick it
00:34:22you see
00:34:23I respect people
00:34:24not the things they own
00:34:26and you have to earn respect
00:34:28which is probably where you fall down
00:34:32when did you ever
00:34:33have to earn anything?
00:34:37well
00:34:37at least I don't have to pretend anymore
00:34:40pretend I can actually stand
00:34:41being in the same bleeding room as you
00:34:45message ends
00:34:49you don't know the first thing about me
00:34:52you've got hidden depths have you?
00:34:54don't
00:34:55please don't
00:34:56don't
00:34:57please don't
00:35:00come off it
00:35:01you'll be your old self again tomorrow
00:35:03you have to be
00:35:05otherwise how could you go on?
00:35:17let's not get silly
00:35:21you ever seen a corpse?
00:35:28neither have I
00:35:31don't reckon I miss much
00:35:36look I'm
00:35:38sorry I cut you
00:35:40it's off
00:35:44you'll probably have to go anyway actually
00:35:46because I'm thinking of moving
00:35:48to Chelsea actually
00:35:49I'm thinking quite seriously about it
00:35:51actually
00:35:52I'll let you into a little secret
00:35:54actually
00:35:56Chelsea's next on the list
00:35:57I didn't plan for ages we have
00:35:59so maybe it's not such a good idea Chelsea
00:36:02ever thought of emigrating?
00:36:04this is my country
00:36:05I live where I like
00:36:06I suppose it's mummy and daddy's country too
00:36:08living in California
00:36:09earning a packet
00:36:10buying up houses for you to wind yourself in
00:36:13you've had a nice break
00:36:15now perhaps you ought to go back where you feel safe
00:36:17this is also a free country
00:36:18and people can do what they like with their money
00:36:20if they happen to have any
00:36:21what do you want to say?
00:36:22I'm sorry
00:36:23what?
00:36:24sorry I don't do anything
00:36:25my way's been smooth for me since the start
00:36:28what if I got a degree
00:36:29and I could understand French movies
00:36:31and like real quality papers
00:36:33sorry that I'm nothing
00:36:35that our precious freedoms made me a zombie
00:36:38oh freedom to rot
00:36:39that's what this country's given me
00:36:43is that what you want me to say?
00:36:47yeah
00:36:51do us all a favour
00:36:53use it
00:37:03so where'd the night come from?
00:37:05we must have taken it out with him
00:37:06the man's a lunatic
00:37:07it took me ages to calm him down
00:37:08and the things he said
00:37:09they despise us
00:37:11we've got a crummy little scene
00:37:13we're just a gang of kids
00:37:16not for you all right
00:37:21I'm not just about
00:37:25so what do you want to do?
00:37:32Jane
00:37:33she'll have to move out
00:37:36look face it Baz
00:37:37if she hasn't fallen in love with you by now
00:37:38Baz I'm sorry but I've got to say
00:37:40yeah look Viv
00:37:42I've got to get some sleep
00:37:44I've got the UK frisbee championships
00:37:46in four hours time
00:37:50you do what you want
00:37:51with your hands
00:37:55yes it is isn't it
00:37:59yes
00:38:03hello
00:38:04hello
00:38:28oh
00:38:30oh
00:38:32Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:39:00Listen, Ron, if it was up to me, I just run the bloody company.
00:39:05It's not my decision.
00:39:08Oh, for Christ's sake, Ron, cease sense.
00:39:12Right.
00:39:13Make yourself a cup.
00:39:16Look, let me speak to Joey, will you?
00:39:19And why not?
00:39:21Oh, he's meditating.
00:39:24Oh, sorry.
00:39:26Levitating.
00:39:28So you mean to tell me that I can't speak to one of my employees
00:39:30because at this moment in time he's floating two feet above the frigging floor?
00:39:38Look, Ron, I'm going to get on to Lawrence and I'll see what I can do.
00:39:43Yes, I'll ring you straight back.
00:39:46Bloody hippies.
00:39:47Frisbee playing, bolshie yanked pricks.
00:39:50Trouble?
00:39:51The stupid bastards are on strike.
00:39:54They're refusing to do the show tomorrow.
00:39:56I mean, honestly, they're supposed to be Buddhists.
00:39:59Buddhists don't go on strike.
00:40:02Oh, I don't know why I'm in this game.
00:40:04I'd have joined British Leyland if I wanted all this hassle.
00:40:08Anyway, what are you doing here?
00:40:11Right.
00:40:12No.
00:40:13Oh, you know.
00:40:15Brought the print round for Viv.
00:40:16What's your beard?
00:40:17No, uh, she's gone out.
00:40:20Oh, come on.
00:40:21No need to be coy.
00:40:22You mean they've gone out.
00:40:23Do I?
00:40:24Well, I assume you do.
00:40:26Unless, of course, Rusty's hiding in the fridge,
00:40:28which wouldn't exactly surprise me.
00:40:30Yeah, all right.
00:40:31They've gone out.
00:40:33Hey, I don't mind, you know.
00:40:35Sure.
00:40:36I don't.
00:40:39It's just he swore blind he was not having a thing with Viv.
00:40:42Then I get kicked out of my flat.
00:40:43He hasn't got a regular place to doss.
00:40:45And hey, presto, it's true love.
00:40:49I don't give a damn, honest.
00:40:52I mean, it was hell while it lasted.
00:40:54I wish her well and hope he breaks his bloody neck.
00:40:56I can see you don't mind.
00:41:00Hadn't you better ring your frisbee man?
00:41:03Sod him.
00:41:04I'll tell him he's getting more money.
00:41:06Soon as he's done the shower, sack the bastard.
00:41:09Brass.
00:41:11You're not very nice.
00:41:14You know, I could almost find you attractive.
00:41:19Oh, now you're talking.
00:41:21Almost, I said.
00:41:26What's the picture?
00:41:27Oh, just something I knocked up of it.
00:41:29And you tell me what you think, okay?
00:41:39There.
00:41:44That's very interesting.
00:41:47Why Hitler?
00:41:49Forties, dummy.
00:41:50Next big thing.
00:41:51Anyway, I got fed up with Blondie and Iggy Pop.
00:41:54Well, might as well stick it on the wall if you like.
00:41:57Okay.
00:42:03There we go.
00:42:13Oh, yes.
00:42:19Oh, yes.
00:42:28Are you, um, doing anything special today?
00:42:34No.
00:42:36Fancy going out?
00:42:38No.
00:42:40Purely social.
00:42:41Now look, Brass.
00:42:42I'm asking you to come out on a Sunday afternoon for a drive or something.
00:42:45You're asking me to go to bed with you and you know it.
00:42:47We're not all like Rusty, you know.
00:42:49Oh, yes, you are.
00:42:52Oh, look, darling, we just wouldn't look right together.
00:42:56Forget I asked.
00:42:58Okay.
00:42:59But I don't think...
00:43:01Annie!
00:43:02Hi!
00:43:02Hello, what are you doing here?
00:43:04Ta-da!
00:43:06Oh.
00:43:10Oh, Annie, it's terrific.
00:43:13It's really forties.
00:43:16You know, Rusty reckons the forties are going to be the next big thing.
00:43:20Yes, well, he should know.
00:43:22Drink?
00:43:23Oh, have you got to rush?
00:43:25No, thanks, and I don't have to rush.
00:43:27Oh, good.
00:43:32Hey, Viv, I hate to mention it, but...
00:43:34Oh, yes, the money.
00:43:35Yes, of course.
00:43:36Now, look, Annie, how much did we say?
00:43:37Eighty, was it?
00:43:38Yeah.
00:43:39Has anybody fancy Casablanca, yeah?
00:43:41Not just now, Rusty.
00:43:43When are you off to it, Annie?
00:43:44Day after tomorrow.
00:43:45Lucky thing.
00:43:47Yes, I know.
00:43:48And you know Dennis, my agent, he says that if it comes off okay, there should be the chance
00:43:51of a job for Cosmo.
00:43:53Oh, that's fantastic.
00:43:55I know.
00:43:56Oh, Nigel was saying you've got some job or other.
00:43:58Oh, sort of.
00:43:59It's hardly brawls, then.
00:44:00It's just temping on the phone-in switchboard as an LBC.
00:44:04Well, that's something.
00:44:05Hey, then.
00:44:07Hey.
00:44:07Hey.
00:44:08Oh, I can't remember it myself.
00:44:10I'm a little rusty.
00:44:11Later.
00:44:12Yes, well, I only want to look at the clothes.
00:44:15I mean, the words are boring, right?
00:44:19Hey, Annie, we're going to see a banter night at the venue.
00:44:21Are you coming?
00:44:23Well, actually, I said I'd go out with Baz, didn't I, Baz?
00:44:27Eh?
00:44:28We thought we'd try that place with the piranha fish.
00:44:32They've got this glass dance floor, and underneath in the water, there's this piranha.
00:44:36A live one?
00:44:37Well, a dead one wouldn't be much fun, would it?
00:44:40No, I suppose not.
00:44:43Anyway, while you're dancing under the water, there's this piranha.
00:44:47Riots.
00:44:48What?
00:44:49It's called riots.
00:44:50It's a dump.
00:44:51It's all fat Arabs, and the piranha's a haddock with dentures.
00:44:55I can't go anyway.
00:44:57Having an early night.
00:44:59Sorry.
00:45:01Okay.
00:45:02Look, Annie, why don't you come with us?
00:45:07Rusty, why don't you go to the pub?
00:45:09Yes, well, why don't I?
00:45:22Did you fancy a drink, Baz?
00:45:24You all buy it?
00:45:25Oh, yes.
00:45:26What the hell?
00:45:28I want some change.
00:45:29Yeah, thank you.
00:45:39Well, you're giving rusty money.
00:45:44Christ, true love?
00:45:45No, not at all.
00:45:50Annie.
00:45:54Look, I'm sorry.
00:45:55It just sort of happened.
00:45:57I really don't mind, you know, Viv.
00:45:59But for God's sake, watch him.
00:46:01Because when he first moved in with me, it was twice a night, regular.
00:46:04And then once a night, and then once a week,
00:46:07and then only months with a Z in.
00:46:12Well, we're on three times a night at the moment.
00:46:15Off to a flying start.
00:46:17Well, it's novelty value, I expect.
00:46:19Yes.
00:46:21Well, are you happy, then?
00:46:24No.
00:46:26I'm happy, though.
00:46:28It's just not how I want it yet.
00:46:30Well, I really don't see why we should let a little thing like Rusty come between us.
00:46:36Oh, good.
00:46:37Oh, honey.
00:46:42Come on.
00:46:43If you've seen a damn take three times, sir.
00:46:51Is that supposed to be a joke?
00:46:57I don't see anyone laughing.
00:47:00What is it doing there?
00:47:02It's hanging.
00:47:03Yes, I can see that.
00:47:05One of yours, is it?
00:47:07Well, I created it, if that's what you mean.
00:47:09Well, what is it doing on the bloody wall?
00:47:11Well, I put it there.
00:47:12It's my picture, and I bought it, and it's hanging on my wall, okay?
00:47:15Please, you can't leave it there.
00:47:19Please.
00:47:22Is this deliberate?
00:47:23Because if it is, it's worked.
00:47:27Don't you understand what that means?
00:47:30Well, why don't you just call me Yid?
00:47:31I'll wear a big yellow scarf.
00:47:32Shut up, Baz.
00:47:35Annie, is that what you do with everything?
00:47:38Glamorize it?
00:47:41Do you know what the Nazis did?
00:47:43They killed Jews, I suppose.
00:47:47Is that it?
00:47:49What do you expect me to do?
00:47:50Cry about it?
00:47:52I feel sorry for you.
00:47:54No, Bob.
00:47:55Look, Jewish jokes.
00:47:56Swastikas on walls.
00:47:57We've learned to live with all that.
00:47:58But this.
00:48:00I don't have to live with this.
00:48:01Not here, surely.
00:48:06I'm just asking for a little humanity.
00:48:11You imbeciles.
00:48:13It's hopeless.
00:48:25Viv, I'm sorry.
00:48:26Jane, this is a taste of things to come.
00:48:28I think you'd better move out.
00:48:29If what is a taste of things to come?
00:48:31It's hostility.
00:48:32I'm sorry?
00:48:34You're asking me to move out because I'm being hostile?
00:48:36Yes.
00:48:37That's absurd.
00:48:38Well, first you bring your slob of a boyfriend here
00:48:39when you know that one of the house rules is no couples.
00:48:41And then you're very hostile towards me, and now this.
00:48:44House rules?
00:48:44What the bloody hell are you talking about?
00:48:46I don't want to live with a couple.
00:48:48What, with Rusty and Annie?
00:48:50What are you and Rusty now?
00:48:51I don't want to rationalize.
00:48:52Well, you've got to, Viv.
00:48:53You can't just tell me to go.
00:48:55I can and I am.
00:48:57Cleanseness.
00:48:58Sorry?
00:48:58Cleanseness in the house.
00:48:59You don't do your bit.
00:49:00I'm sorry.
00:49:01I do more than anyone else.
00:49:02You never clean the windows.
00:49:03What?
00:49:04That's right.
00:49:04You never clean the windows.
00:49:06You are mad, Viv.
00:49:07You're insane.
00:49:08I mean it.
00:49:10Come on.
00:49:10I want to discuss this.
00:49:11There's nothing to discuss.
00:49:11I told you.
00:49:12I don't want to rush for the light of it.
00:49:13But we're supposed to be...
00:49:14Vivian, aren't you going to say anything?
00:49:17Jane, let's...
00:49:18Leave me alone.
00:49:23Leave me alone.
00:49:28Here we go.
00:49:28Here we go.
00:49:29Come on.
00:49:30This is it.
00:49:30First time, right?
00:49:32But it was horrible.
00:49:34Totally horrible.
00:49:35I mean, poor Sophie.
00:49:36She goes along expecting a dinner party and she gets monstered by these three bloody Italians.
00:49:41Yes.
00:49:41I mean, the whole night, a virtual prisoner.
00:49:44Horrible.
00:49:44Totally horrible.
00:49:45Can you imagine?
00:49:55God, I feel a prat.
00:49:58I mean, everything that's going on out there and I'm sat here scared to raise my voice because
00:50:02of your friends and their middle class mind games.
00:50:06They're what?
00:50:08That's all it is.
00:50:09Middle class mind games.
00:50:11Yes, well, the working class don't have a monopoly on misery tone.
00:50:15That's not what I meant.
00:50:18Look, I get a bad feeling here, that's all.
00:50:21You get a bad feeling?
00:50:22How do you think I feel?
00:50:24Then get it sorted out.
00:50:25How?
00:50:27Well, let's try the normal way, shall we?
00:50:29Go downstairs.
00:50:31So, Viv, I'd like to know why you're giving me a hard time.
00:50:34Because it's getting me down and it's getting toned down.
00:50:37And I'd like an answer so I can carry on doing what I do best, which is living.
00:50:42That's very easy to say, Tone, but you don't know what it's been like.
00:50:45You haven't been here.
00:50:46Well, slap my wrist.
00:50:48You've been too busy.
00:50:50Right.
00:50:52You couldn't even be bothered to phone.
00:50:54I rang a couple of times last week.
00:50:58When?
00:50:59In the evening, she said she was out.
00:51:01I haven't been out.
00:51:02Where would I go?
00:51:05I wouldn't care.
00:51:08You see?
00:51:10Yeah.
00:51:12All right.
00:51:15Will you come with me?
00:51:17Sure.
00:51:19Discretion is my middle name.
00:51:25I mean, talk about earning your bloody money, dear.
00:51:28I was sat there on this ledge like this, sort of perched, with my feet on the railing, right?
00:51:33You know, the photographer sort of sat here nice and cosy.
00:51:36And down there is this gap of 200 feet.
00:51:39Oh, it was terrifying.
00:51:40I mean, if I hadn't been coked into the middle of next week, I just don't think I could have
00:51:44managed it.
00:51:45It was absolutely awful.
00:51:47I mean, brave you.
00:51:50Fransy, that's horrible.
00:51:53Look, come on, Baz.
00:51:55Cut the cake.
00:51:55I brought it especially for you.
00:51:57Come on, ma'am.
00:51:57Oh, God.
00:51:58No more for me, darling.
00:51:58I absolutely bloated.
00:52:00Eat.
00:52:00Eat.
00:52:00You should eat.
00:52:01Your mother, she said, eat.
00:52:04You know, I heard a pleasant rumour you've been kicked out of the band.
00:52:07Oh, yeah?
00:52:08Shouldn't listen to rumours, darling.
00:52:10We're just not working at the moment, that's all.
00:52:12Musical differences.
00:52:13Like, they're musical and you're not?
00:52:16No, not at all.
00:52:17Look, I mean, the others are up there.
00:52:18Well, hello there.
00:52:19Could I have some more wine, Baz?
00:52:24Hey, do you remember, what was it someone mentioned, that programme?
00:52:28Holocaust.
00:52:29Did anyone see you?
00:52:30Yeah.
00:52:31What did you think?
00:52:33I was a bit one-sided.
00:52:39See what you mean?
00:52:41Pathetic.
00:52:42Let's go.
00:52:44Come on, please.
00:52:47Bastard.
00:52:47Oh, for Vivian, is there anything you can do?
00:52:50I told you to go, she just hasn't moved.
00:52:51What do you expect her to do?
00:52:53Can't just chuck her out on the street, give her time, for God's sake.
00:52:58Traitor.
00:52:59You know she's hanging on here because it makes me feel miserable.
00:53:02Doesn't that bother you, Baz?
00:53:04Bloody well should.
00:53:06She makes everything heavy just by being here.
00:53:09Just seeing her things in the bathroom makes me want to scream.
00:53:11I can't sleep anymore at night with her on the other side of the room.
00:53:15I can hear her breathing.
00:53:17She doesn't sleep.
00:53:18She sits there knowing I'm awake.
00:53:20Knowing I'm awake because of her.
00:53:23And she's smiling.
00:53:24She thinks she's winning.
00:53:26I do sleep.
00:53:27I have a nightmare.
00:53:28She never goes away.
00:53:29She's not in the house anymore.
00:53:30Well, she is the house.
00:53:31She's everything.
00:53:31Everywhere I look, I can't get away from her.
00:53:34Right.
00:53:35What the hell do you want?
00:53:37You'll do.
00:53:43Well, here I am.
00:53:46What's it to be then, bully boy?
00:53:47Out on the street or what?
00:53:48Is that what you're after?
00:53:49Good punch-up to satisfy your bloodlust, eh?
00:53:54You meanderthal ape.
00:53:57Stupid thick shithead.
00:53:58Well, come on then.
00:53:59Aren't you brave enough, eh?
00:54:01Actually, pal, since you ask, I happen to be skint and you owe my bird a fiver.
00:54:05Now, if that money ain't forthcoming pretty sharpish, being the Neanderthal ape, I'm going to start pulling your teeth out
00:54:10through the top of your head.
00:54:12Understand?
00:54:12Guess what?
00:54:13I haven't got it down.
00:54:13Wrong.
00:54:14I haven't.
00:54:15Then I hope you're fully paid up on your bupa contributions.
00:54:20Tone.
00:54:25You're a scholar and a gentleman.
00:54:27Go away, Tone.
00:54:31My pleasure.
00:54:39You silly bugger.
00:54:41Just get stuffed.
00:54:45Let's go out.
00:54:47Oh, Viv, you can't just keep...
00:54:48I can't keep what, Baz?
00:54:51We could just drive, see where we end up.
00:54:53Yes, well, I don't want to go driving.
00:54:55Oh, for God's sake, Rusty, what do you want to do?
00:54:57Well, I don't care.
00:54:59Right, I'm going now.
00:55:00I'll see you later.
00:55:01Rusty.
00:55:02Now look, Viv, I've just been pushed around on your account and I don't like being pushed
00:55:05around, okay?
00:55:07Oh, KV?
00:55:09Is what okay?
00:55:10I'm going now.
00:55:12You haven't got any money?
00:55:14Well, I can borrow some, go home or something.
00:55:18Okay.
00:55:23That's okay.
00:55:24That's okay.
00:55:25And?
00:55:27And nothing.
00:55:29Nobody loses any sleep over what you do, Rusty.
00:55:31Don't flatter yourself.
00:55:32If you want to wait until we're ready, then you come with us, and if not, well, then off
00:55:35you go.
00:55:36And don't come back?
00:55:36Oh, really, Rusty, what do you think I am?
00:55:38Vindictive.
00:55:39Free to do as you like.
00:55:41Free as a bird.
00:55:43Yeah, well, I'll wait.
00:55:45Okay.
00:55:49Bad, you don't mind if Annie moves in when she goes, do you?
00:55:53Why should I mind?
00:55:54What's it got to do with me?
00:55:55Because I want everybody to be happy.
00:55:56Oh, I'm happy.
00:55:57I'm ecstatic.
00:55:57Over the moon.
00:55:58Well, it's what's got into you.
00:55:59Look, Viv, two minutes ago.
00:56:00Two minutes ago is two minutes ago.
00:56:02Come on, forget it.
00:56:04Okay, everyone, let's go out and enjoy ourselves.
00:56:06I can't.
00:56:07Okay, come on, you two are going out.
00:56:08Yeah, so where?
00:56:09Your house.
00:56:10Pick up some money.
00:56:10It's going to be great.
00:56:11Yes, well, I think my father might be out.
00:56:13Well, they'll just nick the family's silver, right?
00:56:15Okay, see you, Bad.
00:56:15Good to see you.
00:56:28Happy birthday, Barry.
00:56:39Oh, it's so funny to be seeing you after so long, girl.
00:56:45But the way you look, I understand that you and I are present.
00:56:50But I heard you let that little friend of mine take off your party dress.
00:57:02I'm not going to get too sentimental like those other sticky valentines.
00:57:21It must have dozed off there.
00:57:27Let's drink.
00:57:31I don't think this bodes well for adult life, you know.
00:57:35First sign of trouble and we all die of headfirst into a bottle.
00:57:40Still, there's something to do, isn't it?
00:57:44Somewhere to go.
00:57:48You couldn't do me one of those, could you?
00:57:58Oh, you couldn't.
00:58:00I see.
00:58:06I spoke to me mum the other day.
00:58:10She wanted to know why I hadn't settled down with a nice lass.
00:58:15I've got myself a proper job.
00:58:19And indeed, why haven't I?
00:58:23All that fancy education, she said.
00:58:27Yeah, well, maybe education stunted me growth.
00:58:33It's a theory.
00:58:38Actually, what have I got to complain about?
00:58:41Nothing at all, if you think about it.
00:58:45Nice job.
00:58:47Nice car.
00:58:49Nice house.
00:58:53Nice house.
00:58:55Do you hear that?
00:58:56I sound like me mum.
00:59:04Hey, you know, I wish you'd shut up and let me get a word in edgeways.
00:59:13I've been thinking.
00:59:17I think I'm too nice.
00:59:21I think I'm far too amenable.
00:59:24Whatever that means.
00:59:26Sounds right, though.
00:59:28Sort of me.
00:59:29Amenable.
00:59:32Too nice.
00:59:35Too nice.
00:59:36And where does it get you?
00:59:43You're nice.
00:59:45Not too nice.
00:59:48Just nice.
00:59:52Which is nice.
00:59:57Oh, let me take you away from all this.
01:00:01Well, I'll let you take me away from all this, if you like.
01:00:03Never let it be said that I'm not a feminist.
01:00:12You could have had me, you know.
01:00:14Played your cards.
01:00:19I do enjoy these little chats, you know.
01:00:22Free and frank exchange of views.
01:00:24Why should I bother to talk to you?
01:00:26Why should I bother to talk to you?
01:00:26I don't know.
01:00:28Had a nice night.
01:00:29Stop it, Bas.
01:00:30I've had a nice night.
01:00:32Been reading Henry James.
01:00:35Haven't read old Henry since Oxford.
01:00:42It was going to be great, this place, wasn't it?
01:00:46I used to dream of book-lined rooms and dinner parties.
01:00:51Very civilized.
01:00:54Somewhere up there, there was a malicious sod pushing us around.
01:00:59There was nobody pushing us, Bas.
01:01:03Jane, I'm sorry.
01:01:04Now look, it's got out of hand, you're hurt, and I am sorry about that.
01:01:07That doesn't do me any good.
01:01:08I want to know why.
01:01:10You had a row with Viv.
01:01:12No, Bas, you were here, you saw.
01:01:14Well, what do you want me to do about it?
01:01:16It's embarrassing if I don't talk to you.
01:01:18It's dangerous if I do.
01:01:20I mean, at least I've got a roof over mine.
01:01:27I've been a spineless little jerk, haven't I?
01:01:30Yes, you have.
01:01:31You sat on the fence when you could have taken my side.
01:01:34Oh, sides.
01:01:36It's mad taking sides.
01:01:40I don't know, Bas, I didn't start it.
01:01:42Viv did.
01:01:44Okay, Viv did.
01:01:46Any of the wiser are we now?
01:01:50I thought you were my friend.
01:01:53Well, Viv thinks I'm her friend.
01:01:57Well, you are, aren't you?
01:01:59Soddy, I'm nobody's friend.
01:02:06At least you've got tone.
01:02:10I don't know whether I have any more.
01:02:13He wants me to go and live in his council flat in Battersea.
01:02:19Ethnic.
01:02:25I like tone.
01:02:29So do I.
01:02:32Oh, well.
01:02:35You saw him first.
01:02:42First, why does she hate me so much?
01:02:44I don't know.
01:02:46Property's not theft.
01:02:49Something much worse.
01:02:50That much I do know.
01:02:53V!
01:02:59Do you know what they've done?
01:03:01Eh?
01:03:08Do you know what some bastard has gone and done?
01:03:10They've only gone and shocked me to the papers, haven't they?
01:03:13Bloody great article in tomorrow's paper about me.
01:03:16Poor bloody foot in the bloody mirror.
01:03:19What's it say?
01:03:21Oh, not much.
01:03:22It just says, oh, the son of the editor of the mirror's biggest rival lives off the dole at home
01:03:26with mummy and daddy.
01:03:27Smoking dope and snorting coke.
01:03:30Well, it's true, you do.
01:03:32Yes, well, I know it's true, Baz, but what's that got to do with it?
01:03:34Look, what I want to find out is why me?
01:03:35I mean, whose idea of a joke is this?
01:03:36Well, what's it matter?
01:03:38Look, it matters plenty, you lame brain.
01:03:39I mean, the publicity, great.
01:03:41I'll be famous, yeah?
01:03:42Look, I've just spent two hours with my old man being roasted.
01:03:45And I mean burned, yeah?
01:03:46He's already famous.
01:03:47He doesn't bloody need it.
01:03:50He's talking life support switch off, man.
01:03:52No more money.
01:03:52I'm going to be cut off without a penny, Savvy.
01:03:55You don't mean you're going to have to get a job.
01:03:58The sarcasm has cut it because I've got big problems.
01:04:00You've always got big problems.
01:04:03You, was it?
01:04:05What?
01:04:05You've been whispering in, comrades, what's your...
01:04:07Christ, I don't know anything about it, prick.
01:04:09Yeah, well, somebody does.
01:04:10Why do you think it was one of us?
01:04:13Somewhere out there is a little person with a grudge.
01:04:17Some slimy little man who wants to get even.
01:04:20Christ, it's enough to make your pardon.
01:04:22Baz, I'm not here.
01:04:24I don't know.
01:04:29Yeah?
01:04:31Yeah.
01:04:32That's not...
01:04:33It's for me.
01:04:34Sorry.
01:04:40Look, Joey, if you're going to give me a heart...
01:04:45Look, Joey, don't do this to me.
01:04:50Joey!
01:04:53You bastard.
01:04:55Do they know I'm here?
01:04:56Who?
01:04:57Well, then.
01:04:58Oh, bog off, Rusty!
01:04:59Don't be a pratt all your life.
01:05:00Have a day off.
01:05:06Off the hook.
01:05:08Right.
01:05:09Where are you going?
01:05:10I'm going to murder me, a hippie.
01:05:21Hi.
01:05:22I needed someone to talk to.
01:05:24Not me, surely.
01:05:26Well, you're the only person here.
01:05:28I'm so sorry.
01:05:30Look, I'm sorry.
01:05:31Look, Rusty, I do think it's rotten what's happened, but...
01:05:33Well, I just can't face the thought of having to talk to you.
01:05:35I'm sorry.
01:05:36Well, that's pretty sensitive of you, think.
01:05:37Nobody ever thinks about me.
01:05:40Look, please, I don't want to have to be on my own.
01:05:42No, neither did I, but I wasn't given any choice.
01:05:45Please.
01:05:51Well, I'm not very good at comforting the wounded.
01:05:54It's okay.
01:05:59Look, I'm really freaked.
01:06:00I feel like a target.
01:06:01Look, lots of people have stories printed about them.
01:06:05Well, that's how your dad makes his living, isn't it?
01:06:07Look, he's a journalist, not a bastard.
01:06:09You've obviously never read his paper.
01:06:11Well, you just leave off my own man.
01:06:12He's just doing a job, right?
01:06:14Where have I heard that before?
01:06:18This is hopeless.
01:06:20I'm not really feeling very charitable, things being the way they are.
01:06:23From what things?
01:06:26Oh, you mean you hadn't noticed?
01:06:29What, all that?
01:06:29Look, that is nothing.
01:06:32Rusty, if you're really going to sit here and shrug off my problems as if they don't exist
01:06:36and expect me to take yours seriously, I might as well just go to bed.
01:06:40Yeah, well, we might as well go to bed.
01:06:42I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that.
01:06:44Why?
01:06:45I mean, sex is good therapy.
01:06:46My God, you're offensive.
01:06:48Yeah, and you're very attractive, and I fancy you, right?
01:06:49Now, what's offensive about that?
01:06:50It's a bloody compliment.
01:06:51Get out.
01:06:52Liv's right.
01:06:54You really are hung up, aren't you?
01:06:56I mean, where do you get this idea that you're so bloody important?
01:07:01It's a pity we couldn't make it.
01:07:02Because I bet you're really good, yeah?
01:07:04Really rough.
01:07:04Get out.
01:07:05Look, you want to lose some of those hangups, you know?
01:07:07There's nothing worse than a tight-ass cheek, you know?
01:07:10What are you going to do?
01:07:10Set your gorilla on me?
01:07:12Wheel out the working-class hero to do his macko bit.
01:07:15You want to ditch him?
01:07:16He's so straight.
01:07:19Look, we're classless now, yeah?
01:07:20Somebody should tell him, and you.
01:07:25You just want to get into some personal liberation, yeah?
01:07:28Just get inside your own head.
01:07:30It might loosen you up a bit.
01:07:33Hey, I bet I know your trouble.
01:07:35I bet you're frigid, yeah?
01:07:37Oh, uh, hi.
01:07:39Carolyn?
01:07:41Look, I was wondering if I could come round.
01:07:44Yes, well, I know it's late.
01:07:45I need someone to talk to.
01:07:49Trusty!
01:08:10That's 99 quid's worth of advanced nip technology you've got on there.
01:08:14And it's mine.
01:08:16Don't mind how you go.
01:08:17Look, look, I see your lips moving, but I can't hear any words.
01:08:20I mean, what the hell are those folks supposed to make of you, eh?
01:08:22A man of mystery.
01:08:23What?
01:08:24Why don't you do something to help?
01:08:26Look, I don't dig graves, man.
01:08:27I dance on them.
01:08:28Yeah.
01:08:29Come on, come on, come on.
01:08:36What are you doing?
01:08:38I'm having a breather.
01:08:39Don't take all day.
01:08:40There's still the floor to do.
01:08:41Oh, and don't sulk, Baz.
01:08:42Please don't, my son.
01:08:46Make sure you've changed before they arrive.
01:08:49Yeah, well, I'll wash behind me ears.
01:08:50Don't change.
01:08:52She'd better be gone before they get here.
01:09:03Oh, where the hell is Annie?
01:09:04She should have been back ages ago.
01:09:09This way, go ahead.
01:09:16Well, I'm never going to get these bills sorted out in time.
01:09:19Look, everything's got to be right, Baz.
01:09:20If anything's not right, that'll go through the roof.
01:09:22Yeah, and I'm sure I can afford a new one.
01:09:25It's just a joke.
01:09:27I'll save the chips for later.
01:09:28Oh, we'll be allowed to joke then, will I?
01:09:29Oh, just hurry up, will you please?
01:09:30Oh, thank God, about time.
01:09:32Did you get everything?
01:09:33Just about.
01:09:34My God, supermarkets are murder.
01:09:36Gruppy house, white shopping.
01:09:38Don't get on the wet floor.
01:09:39I'm walking on water again.
01:09:41On Taiwan.
01:09:42You're a bleeding idiot.
01:09:43Oh, Rusty, get out of the way, will you?
01:09:45And don't make a mess anywhere.
01:09:46And Baz, will you stop swearing when they get here?
01:09:48Oh, sorry.
01:09:49Don't say it or I'll bring you.
01:09:53Look, you'll have to do the floor again in a minute.
01:09:56Oh, great.
01:10:00Well, don't waste time.
01:10:02Go and get changed.
01:10:07Rusty.
01:10:08What?
01:10:24She's not gone.
01:10:25How long have we got?
01:10:25Not long.
01:10:26They have left Tim and Sheila's by now.
01:10:29Did you get the record?
01:10:30Yes, I did.
01:10:30I had to go over to Clapham for it.
01:10:32You ever try getting Vivaldi in Brixton?
01:10:41Rusty.
01:10:43Now, look, you can be in charge of the drinks, right?
01:10:46Keep them well topped up.
01:10:47Sherry for mum, scotch for dad.
01:10:50Feel like a bloody butler.
01:10:51No, Rusty.
01:10:52You feel like a butler, but no bloody.
01:10:54Got it?
01:10:55I feel like a butler.
01:10:59Yes, I've got it.
01:10:59Well, good.
01:11:00So act like one and call me a scotch.
01:11:01Hand me.
01:11:07What about you?
01:11:08I don't feel like one at the moment.
01:11:10What's the matter?
01:11:10Got to clap again.
01:11:17Where are we going to eat?
01:11:18Oh, I booked a table at San Lorenzo.
01:11:20Christ, that'll cost.
01:11:22Yeah, but dad's paying.
01:11:23Oh, I like him already.
01:11:25You sure if you're Italian?
01:11:26Well, I only know a couple of words.
01:11:28Yeah, like, yes, please.
01:11:32Isn't it funny how jealous people can be?
01:11:36I mean, I only get myself a fantastic job in Italy with terrific money.
01:11:40Some, my waiting coke, nothing special really.
01:11:44Well, get you.
01:11:46Yeah, well, I thought if I made a good impression they might adopt me.
01:11:55Oh, pass the floor spree if you want to mock it.
01:11:58Oh, bloody hell.
01:11:59Hell, no bloody.
01:12:01There's no swearing, by order.
01:12:03That's right, by order, my order.
01:12:05I was just telling him.
01:12:06You were getting at me, don't.
01:12:07Well, what are we supposed to do then?
01:12:09Suspend all normal behavior?
01:12:11Precisely.
01:12:12Are you frightened of them, or what?
01:12:15Well, I think that's pretty rich coming from someone who cringed and crawled not to be kicked
01:12:19out of home, don't you?
01:12:21Shit, I'm off.
01:12:22Well, then when you go through that door, you don't come back here ever.
01:12:30Good boy.
01:12:34What do we call them?
01:12:36Your folks.
01:12:39I mean, we can't very well call them mum and dad, can we?
01:12:42No, of course not.
01:12:43Call them by their first names.
01:12:44That'll be okay.
01:12:45Right.
01:12:48What are their first names?
01:12:51Oh, Bill and Doreen.
01:12:55What?
01:12:56Nothing.
01:13:00What's so funny, Rusty?
01:13:02Don't know.
01:13:06What the bloody hell are you laughing at?
01:13:07Bill and Doreen, it sounds like they've run a bloody whelk store.
01:13:10Oh, my God.
01:13:32Get out.
01:13:33Why?
01:13:34I'm not going to have you sit there making cheap comments.
01:13:36I've had enough of people sniping at me, and I'm not going to take it from a parasite
01:13:39like you.
01:13:39Who'd like another drink?
01:13:41A parasite.
01:13:42Yes, a spongy little parasite.
01:13:44Yes, well, it takes one to know one, lovey, and at least I own up to it.
01:13:46We could hardly do anything else, could you?
01:13:48Well, why should I want to?
01:13:48I admit it.
01:13:49Look, I'm the best-looking maggot in the heap.
01:13:51Me.
01:13:52Maggot's about right.
01:13:55Oh, talking of parasites.
01:13:58Little Miss Glam Jet Set here, the globe-trotting model.
01:14:02Well, from what Dennis tells me, and he tells me plenty,
01:14:07your oh-so-fabulous Italian job was no more than a series of beaver pics, darling,
01:14:13and some very steamy group shots, darling.
01:14:17In short, it was pornography, darling.
01:14:23Liar.
01:14:25Will someone tell me why this is going on now?
01:14:27Well, there's no time at the present, right?
01:14:29Dad?
01:14:31Well, where are they, then, then?
01:14:33I'm positively wetting myself with anticipation at the thought of meeting Bill and Noreen.
01:14:37What was it, Noreen, or Doreen?
01:14:38Remind me.
01:14:39It's pretty cheap to make fun of people's names, isn't it?
01:14:42Don't try to be sincere, Bez.
01:14:43It turns my stomach.
01:14:45My dad will throw you out when he gets here.
01:14:47I can't wait.
01:14:54Do you fancy a line?
01:14:57No?
01:14:58I should have thought it was just your style, Viv.
01:15:00You know, everything in lines, like, dead straight.
01:15:04Shoulders back, arms folded.
01:15:06Now, come on, Baz, this is worth a house point.
01:15:08Come on, sit up straight.
01:15:09Bug off.
01:15:09Viv won't like it.
01:15:10I mean, Viv likes everything her way, yeah?
01:15:11Row upon row of adoring fans all saying,
01:15:14yes, Viv, no, Viv, I'll lick your arse, Viv.
01:15:17Now, come on, Baz, Annie, Viv, I want you to lick her arse.
01:15:19Now, this is important.
01:15:20Come on.
01:15:23Well, I thought Jane was the only one who wouldn't.
01:15:27Right.
01:15:30Well, I'll do it.
01:15:34I will lick your arse, Vivian.
01:15:37Now, come on, this is important.
01:15:41You're a mess, Rusty.
01:15:43Just hoover me up in your little dirt bag.
01:15:46I'm a stain, so rub me out.
01:15:56Don't just stand there, peeping through your neck curtains at me.
01:16:00Just say something.
01:16:04Well, anything.
01:16:07Nothing.
01:16:09Not even a little twitch.
01:16:23It's your share of the bill since you've been living here.
01:16:25I sent you a check.
01:16:26No, I'm alone.
01:16:27At the plate, I'm over.
01:16:29Yes, that's right.
01:16:35You're getting grey hairs.
01:16:38They suit you.
01:16:39Oh, I've found someone else to move in with.
01:16:42I was going to tell you, honest.
01:16:46You how?
01:16:47What's she like?
01:16:49A bastard.
01:16:50I mean, claws bared.
01:16:52The real thing.
01:16:53I'm sure we'll be very happy together.
01:16:55I'm sure we will.
01:16:56Time's getting on.
01:16:58I thought this was important.
01:17:05Oh, about the drink.
01:17:07Why I'm not.
01:17:08You were right first time, Annie.
01:17:09I've got the clap.
01:17:11Which means that you've got the clap and Viv's got the clap.
01:17:15Lucky old Baz, he does it again.
01:17:20Oh, no, he doesn't.
01:17:24Well, really.
01:17:26Let's hope for you all yet.
01:17:28Well, I'll catch you guys around, yeah?
01:17:31No hard feelings?
01:17:33Ciao.
01:17:41It's not true what he said about Italy.
01:17:44I did do a couple of shots, Annie, news.
01:17:46I didn't know that you two had.
01:17:49You should have told me.
01:17:51Perhaps we should have asked permission.
01:17:54I would have liked to have known.
01:17:57It's not rusty.
01:17:58I hate that clinic, sort of bloody place.
01:18:00Oh, well, you two are obviously old hands at all this.
01:18:02Well, you could say that.
01:18:03Yeah, well, it's my first time.
01:18:05Well, I shouldn't worry about it, Baz.
01:18:08Think of it as being promoted to the First Division.
01:18:11You're a big boy now.
01:18:13You didn't finish the floor, Baz.
01:18:15Oh, Christ.
01:18:16Well, don't think about it.
01:18:17It's not the end of the world.
01:18:17Just act as if nothing's happened.
01:18:19Oh, well, how can I?
01:18:21I mean, we're going to be sat here being nice to your folks,
01:18:24knowing that we've all got bloody VD.
01:18:27The floor.
01:18:35Come on, that bastard's got my walkman.
01:18:37Great guy.
01:18:38Jean?
01:18:44Here.
01:18:52I'd like a girl with a sense of humour.
01:18:54I have no intention of paying you a penny.
01:18:56A pound of flesh?
01:19:02Bye.
01:19:05Er, you missed a bit.
01:19:10Sewer. Take it a call.
01:19:12Oh, don't be daft.
01:19:16Right, well, I think that's just about everything.
01:19:19You can put them up away now, Baz.
01:19:22You can move in whenever you like, Annie.
01:19:24I expect you all to decorate, won't you?
01:19:26Well, me and Baz will help.
01:19:27Won't be, Baz.
01:19:28Actually, we could probably do the whole house.
01:19:31Oh, yes, that would be good fun, wouldn't it?
01:19:34Doing the whole house together.
01:19:36Right, well, I really think that that is just about everything.
01:19:41That's it.
01:19:44That's right.
01:19:45We can settle down now, then, thank God.
01:19:48No more hassles.
01:19:53That's them.
01:19:57Okay.
01:19:59Big smiles, everyone.
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