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Cara Delevingne opens up about the deeply personal journey behind her music. She talks about sobriety, mental health, vulnerability, and why she waited until now to share this side of herself with the world.Cara reflects on turning pain into art, finding connection through music, and creating an album that felt fully honest. She also discusses songwriting, her creative process, collaborators, live performance nerves, and the artists who have inspired her most.
Transcript
00:00I didn't want to do this album unless I felt like I was metaphorically exposing my innards.
00:07You know, for some people I think it might be a bit of a shock that I'm doing music,
00:11but it is something I've done since I was a kid.
00:30Welcome to Billboard News. It's Tetris, and I'm so happy you're here with me today,
00:34especially knowing that you had a show last night, so you were busy.
00:37I would say so. I'm excited, though. I'm excited to meet you.
00:40No, excited to meet you and hang out. I want to just start off by just—
00:42I didn't know you were doing this interview, by the way, and I'm really glad it's you.
00:45Well, I'd love to get to meet new people for the first time.
00:47You can tell that when you do your interviews. It was really nice.
00:50Thank you. Well, let me start by just asking the question that everybody's going to want to know, okay?
00:55What is that?
00:55What's the catalyst for this moment?
00:57Why did you decide this was the time you wanted to release this?
01:01The catalyst for me was—it wasn't about if, it was about when.
01:05Some things you just can't control.
01:08There was a point in which—I'm not someone that prays a lot,
01:11but I was praying every day to make something powerful, beautiful, creative out of the pain I was going through
01:19at the time.
01:19This was a period of time where I was trying to get sober.
01:24And I—you know, for some people I think it might be a bit of a shock that I'm doing music,
01:28but it is something I've done since I was a kid.
01:30But it's been something really personal for me, quite sacred, something that I was always really shy of,
01:35because I just thought everyone else was so good, and it was something that I—I used as, you know, therapy
01:42for myself.
01:43Then the older I got and the more I did it, when I would play someone a song or something,
01:47they would resonate with it or find their own narrative within it and felt seen.
01:52I was like, there's something in here, and one day I will do music, but I have to—I have to
01:58work on the relationship with myself first, which is kind of what I've been doing.
02:01I mean, I'm happy that you already knew you were going to do this, like that it wasn't something that
02:05you just like—because a lot of times I feel like in this industry people are like,
02:08well, I've done this thing, I've done this thing, then what is the next one?
02:11I would have dreams of being on stage and—and not necessarily to big crowds, but just the feeling that you
02:18get when you're at a live show,
02:19which is meeting people for the first time, like when you're all there and enjoying music, it is one of
02:25the biggest connectors on the planet,
02:26and something that for me has been more important than anything is connection.
02:31I think through mental health struggles and whether it be addiction or substance use or whatever,
02:37I lost that connection with myself and with the world, it felt like around me, and this was like a
02:42quick shot straight back to that.
02:44Well, and I mean, I like that you start the song off with, I forgot that the world was real.
02:48Yeah.
02:49And that lyric hit me immediately.
02:51I forgot that the world was real.
02:55I still don't really know what that means, you know, which I like.
02:59Like, I know what it means in the sense, like I know when I said it, it was a very
03:03throwaway comment,
03:04but you don't—it's once you think about if the world is real that you're like, where did that thought even
03:10come from?
03:10It's that like existential moment of like, I forgot the world was real, but of course it's real because I'm
03:15living in it.
03:15But it's that thing of like, oh, I'm alive? How did I get here? What is my purpose? What is
03:20happening?
03:20And we all go through that. And I think that's the thing that you said about like creating music that
03:24other people can find themselves in, in that story.
03:27Because immediately, like I said, I gravitated to that line. I was like, oh, okay, my girl's gonna go here.
03:32You know what I mean? And I was like ready and locked in immediately.
03:35I didn't want to do this album unless I felt like I was metaphorically exposing my innards. That's a really
03:43horrible way of putting it.
03:44I liked it though. I actually like that metaphorically showing my innards.
03:49Because I think there's part of it where I'd have, I've had opportunities in my life, even from when I
03:56was as early as 17, being signed by Simon Fuller to do music, but do it in a way where
04:02it was created for me.
04:04Or there was a persona that was someone's gonna write the music for you. And that, you know, people can
04:11do that. And that's amazing. And they can be incredible artists while doing that.
04:14But for me, it wasn't about being an artist as much as it was about finding out what was underneath
04:23all of this stuff.
04:24And it took a long time to kind of sift through all of that, I guess.
04:27So I Forgot was maybe the second song I wrote in the beginning processes of going back in the studio
04:36after years.
04:36And I just walked in, my writing partner for quite a lot of the album, Trey Campbell, was sitting there.
04:42And I just walked in and going, I forgot the world was real. And he was like, that's it. That's
04:46what we're doing today.
04:47That's the woman.
04:47And that's why he's incredible. Yeah.
04:56That was one of the songs that came together. There wasn't really like lyrics or melody first. It was like,
05:02I forgot the world was real.
05:04Like it just, it already was there. It just was one of those things that you plucked out. Like it
05:09just existed before we even tried to make it that way.
05:12But I loved how kind of jarring the purity of like the voices and then just getting slapped around the
05:20face with like heavy distortion to the point where you think your speakers are broken.
05:24So when anyone listens to the song loudly, your speakers are not broken. It's just the song.
05:28It's just the mix.
05:29Yeah.
05:36And then we were talking about like the creative process. So I do want to know like, where'd you decide
05:40in the process, like what genres you were going to lean into or what kind of sounds when you were
05:45exploring like, who am I going to be as an artist?
05:47Yeah. I'm still discovering it. I mean, obviously I know this album now it exists and it is now made.
05:54So the genre, I guess anyone asks me what the music sounds like. I just can't describe it.
05:59I also don't love to describe it. I prefer people to try and describe it back to me. I also
06:06think in the best of my abilities, because I know how much people love to be able to put things
06:12into genres.
06:13I really wanted to mess with people. I was like, I want to start with a kind of very theatrical
06:18song that kind of melts into this kind of rock opera to then this like slightly drum and bass jazz
06:24orgy to then a kind of sexy song, which sounds like it's from the eighties.
06:29Like it really, really takes you there to multiple personalities.
06:34Your descriptors are so good.
06:35I really do love it.
06:36And I mean, like, of course, you know, as people are discovering you, I'm sitting, I'm listening to the songs.
06:40I'm like, okay, great voice. You sound beautiful.
06:42But then I love the visuals.
06:44Yeah.
06:44I think that I wasn't quite ready to see how hard you went on the visuals because a lot of
06:48people don't even do that with music videos now.
06:50Yeah, I guess that for me, a lot of the songs were written from a visual place, like I thought
06:56of a video that then I wrote about.
06:58But then as the album was coming together and it was more fully formed, I really panicked because I couldn't
07:04see myself anymore in it.
07:05I couldn't see what I looked like. I think that was part of why changing my hair.
07:11I know it's not like I've gone through so many iterations of having different hair, including like being completely bald.
07:17But for some reason, I was like, this is not, I don't know, something needed to change.
07:24And for some reason, this hair that I have now, not this hair literally, because it's got stuff in it.
07:28But there's something about, I used to have bangs when I was a kid, but being more towards like my
07:32natural color and having what feels like at times a helmet on feels really protective.
07:39And also for dancing, I headbang a lot. And I don't know, I'm getting older and 33, you can't be
07:46headbanging so much.
07:47So the hair really adds to that. But the visual side of it, I'm a really visual person.
07:51And I really, I've come from medias that are mostly visual.
07:56There was a part of me that was like, maybe there should be no visual.
07:59Maybe people shouldn't even know it's me. And maybe it should be a completely different name.
08:03But also, I didn't want to feel, I didn't want to feel shame or scared that I mean, because people
08:07are going to judge it no matter what.
08:08And I think I was just like, you know what, if I could do this without a budget being a
08:14question and everything else, what would I do?
08:16And I really think I've managed to accomplish that dream.
08:20And also, it was the first time doing a video where it wasn't for a brand or for a movie
08:26on someone else's dime, like I was paying for it.
08:30And this was something that I was putting together and not obviously just me. So many people made it happen.
08:35But I had never experienced that before where it wasn't, I wasn't being something for someone else.
08:41And I'm quite a nervous person. And usually I get really nervous. But I felt for the first time, I
08:46was like, oh, I belong here.
08:48This is what I've been meant to do. And I've been working up to this forever. And I felt this
08:52confidence, which I was like a bit scared of in a way.
08:55Well, I mean, I don't obviously see any of that because you definitely come off confident and happy in the
08:59video.
09:00But like you having coming from like, of course, the modeling medium and then the movies and stuff like that,
09:06like those are other people's vision.
09:08So was the more nerve wracking part actually the taking the creative control when you're on set? Like it was
09:13someone telling you like this is what you should do this or were you just like, OK, I'm just going
09:16to live in this moment.
09:17I mean, that's what Jessica was so good at is that I think a lot of times working with directors,
09:24photographers, people will really tell you move your face like this or do that.
09:29And it's so specific. That kind of thing gets on my nerves. Sometimes it depends. It can be a conversation
09:34in the language. Some people don't even want your opinion.
09:37But Jessica let me find that a lot. You know, she is an incredible Jessica Ligagne, who was a lot
09:44a part of like Severance, which is where I discovered her work.
09:47But as a director and as a DP, she is so incredible and technical and does things I've never seen
09:55other people do.
09:56But I realized in the first couple of shots I was doing a thing that I would do when I
10:02feel awkward when I'm modeling, which is do this like corkettish, feminine, presenting like sexy thing, which is not something
10:14I do generally.
10:15And I realized I was doing it like during one of the takes. And I was like, why am I
10:20doing that?
10:21And I spoke about it and I was like, I'm doing this thing. And she was like, yeah, I noticed.
10:24I just wanted you to, you know, if that's what this is for you, that's fine. But you need to
10:29find that in yourself.
10:30And I just remember, I was like, I'm not, why am I performing this? I'm just going to say it.
10:35I'm just going to throw it out.
10:37And that's the shot obviously we ended up using because I was like, oh, so much of the time I
10:41put on this thing of like, I'm going to look you up and down and do this thing where you're
10:45like, I'm like, that's not who I am.
10:47It's interesting.
10:48Oh, that is so interesting. And I mean, you took I forgot and then you came followed it right up
10:52with out of my mind.
10:53So like, what was the transition like for that music and saying, OK, this is the second song that I
10:58want people to get at the same time?
11:07So those two songs were written one day after the other. It just was going to be that way.
11:13It always was going to be I forgot into out of my head and it was going to be seamless.
11:17You know, the first half of the album, you don't know what where the songs end or begin.
11:22You're like, is this a second song? I'm not really sure which for me spoke to the messiness of emotions
11:30and how one doesn't finish and the other one ends.
11:33They kind of, you know, snowball into one another and make this like melange of like mess and color.
11:40And then suddenly it's all stripped back and it's silent.
11:42So for me, that was kind of the way of doing it.
11:44And yeah, these were not the songs that most people would say, you know, there's there's more of like pop
11:51leaning songs on this album.
11:53But I wanted people to see me more.
11:58The representation of me as an artist more in these songs felt like the most obvious choice because it had
12:04like such a crazy range within there, which.
12:07Yeah, which is the album, I guess.
12:10And I mean, obviously, it seems that you're going to want people to listen to this album start to end.
12:14There's no shuffle here.
12:16We need to feel that flow that you're talking about.
12:19So when you think about the rest of the album, what can people expect now that they've got these two
12:22offerings?
12:23What can what are they going to look forward to?
12:26A lot more.
12:27I mean, it's these songs are definitely I feel like a little love letter to that, like little emo kid
12:34inside.
12:35Definitely something to bang your head to.
12:39Take your frustration out, scream into a pillow or just dance to.
12:42I think the rest of the album, there's a lot more light and levity within there.
12:47But there's also some like really the drama.
12:50The drama's in there.
12:51We're going on a journey.
12:51There's some drama.
12:53There's different genres, different influences.
12:57The last song is definitely the most pop song.
13:00And it's a love song about my girlfriend, which is I love performing, which is really, really fun.
13:05But yeah, I would say I would always say listen to it as a piece of art because that's what
13:10it feels like it is.
13:11Or as in one solid listen.
13:15But I don't remember the last time I did that with an album, especially when I'm in the car because
13:18I like listen to half and I'm like, where was I?
13:20Have to go again.
13:21So, you know, sometimes it's fun.
13:23Maybe put the whole thing on shuffle and whatever song comes up is the song you're meant to listen to.
13:27Listen to however you want or don't.
13:30And then you talk about like even the song about your girlfriend.
13:33You not only have so many musician friends from Megan Thee Stallion and all the people that you surround yourself
13:38with.
13:39Was there anybody on that list that you were like nervous to play this music for that you sent to
13:44already?
13:45That is such a good question.
13:47If it was one person, it would be everyone.
13:49So there was really a decision where I was like, if people know and love me as a friend, as
13:55a person, then they'll love this music.
13:57Because it is just when anyone describes it to me who doesn't know me that they're like, it's just you.
14:04And I didn't know what that was going to be.
14:05But it's you.
14:06And it's odd.
14:07And it's not normal.
14:08And it's in a kind of a weird, beautiful way.
14:11No one knows what to expect, which is the nicest part.
14:13I'm really catching people by surprise.
14:15Honestly, the person I was most scared of playing it to, there was like, I didn't think I still like
14:19seat my parents' approval.
14:20But I remember playing them some songs.
14:22And then, and my girlfriend, honestly.
14:24Throughout the whole process, she's been the one person that I've really gone to with like dailies from, not dailies,
14:31that's a movie thing.
14:33I get that.
14:33With like the day of.
14:34The mix.
14:34Yeah.
14:35The day of demo or whatever.
14:37And I'd be so scared to play it to her.
14:39Also because she's just very honest with me.
14:41Whereas, you know, most people will be like, yeah, that's really good.
14:44Even if they didn't feel that way.
14:46Yeah.
14:46No.
14:46And I mean, well, was there anybody you asked for help with?
14:49Because I feel like that's another thing.
14:50When you're starting in a new world, you're like, okay, do you have the right mixers or the studio I
14:54should go to?
14:55Or can you help me write this?
14:56Like, was there anybody you felt like you reached out for help in your creative process?
15:00I think there was a lot of peace I had to make with asking for help in a general sense.
15:07But with this, I really didn't want any.
15:10I really wanted it to feel, even if it wasn't as good, I just, apart from the collaborators I had,
15:17whether that be, you know, Trey is one of the writers or different producers that I worked with before, BJ
15:23Burton, who I co-produced the record with.
15:26I, there were different people who, you know, I worked with Dijon on his new album on one of the
15:32songs and he came about at a time where no one had really heard the music yet and he'd heard
15:37it.
15:38And I'm such a huge fan of his and he was so kind and has been so kind about it.
15:44And I just think he is a purest form of an artist.
15:48Fiona Apple, who writes on one of the songs, has been always there for me and constantly if I'm scared
15:53or worried, I send her crazy videos and she always manages to settle my nerves.
15:59Yeah, a lot of my heroes, honestly, I feel very lucky to like, to have looked up to people like
16:04Alanis Morissette or Fiona and then be people that are in my corner.
16:07Also Yebbers on one of the songs, which is so crazy because she is, oh my God, that woman.
16:14Yeah, there's a lot of, there's a lot of people.
16:16You've got a nice little crew there that I feel like you've assimilated.
16:19It's a pretty great, it's a pretty great crew.
16:20It's definitely a Last Supper type of thing.
16:22And then of course, I just found out about your show last night.
16:25So tell me about bringing this album and these songs live.
16:29Is that something that you're excited to do as well?
16:31And how was performing at the show?
16:32Very excited, more scared.
16:35Now the first one's done.
16:37The weight that has been lifted, the invisible weight that I put on my shoulders is really, it's weird.
16:43The whole thing is weird.
16:44It's, it's, I've performed in capacities, but last night specifically was something I'm still processing.
16:51And luckily I, I'm glad I've been really busy today because I think if I hadn't had things to do,
16:55I would be, and I did pick apart the whole thing this morning.
16:58I was so happy with it last night because all that mattered to me was enjoying it in the moment.
17:02And then I woke up this morning.
17:03I was like, I need to see videos.
17:05Oh no.
17:06Oh no.
17:06Why did I say?
17:07Oh no.
17:07Why is it?
17:08Oh no.
17:09It really, no.
17:10Okay.
17:11But I also need to know.
17:13And there's a part of me where I can be objective and go, okay, I can do that better.
17:18I don't want to, there's a line.
17:20There's, there's towing a line.
17:21And do you think it's something that you will want to do more of?
17:24Like are you, could you see like a tour or going on the road and that kind of stuff?
17:29I would love that more than anything.
17:30You know, we're starting, we're starting small as you should.
17:33And these kind of smaller rooms, I'm excited to be able to like see the people's faces.
17:38I didn't really expect that last night.
17:40I forgot.
17:41Isn't it wild?
17:42Yeah.
17:42You can see everyone, at least everyone invited.
17:44I was like, why are you standing in the front row with your phone in my face?
17:47Like that's so scary.
17:48I'm telling you, once I found through interviews that celebrities have that experience, I am
17:53now as a fan nervous every time I'm at a show.
17:56Cause I'm like, they're looking at me.
17:57Yeah.
17:58They can see if I check my phone.
18:00A hundred percent.
18:00I'm like, excuse me.
18:01You're not paying attention.
18:02You just want to call people out.
18:03Be so funny.
18:04But no, definitely.
18:05Yeah.
18:06I want to, I love traveling the world.
18:08I love going to, I love going to festivals and live shows.
18:12So to be able to bring that and add something to the musical big narrative of the world would
18:18be an incredible thing.
18:20This is only the beginning.
18:21Yeah.
18:22I mean, I'm already trying to mentally plan my second and third album as we speak.
18:25Oh, she's on it.
18:26Okay.
18:26I'm trying.
18:27Whew.
18:27And then.
18:28Going to live in the future in some healthy ways.
18:30Yeah.
18:30Well, a question I want to ask you before we get out of here is like, when you think about
18:34artists and the music that they've made that has inspired you, your three albums, like your
18:39trinity.
18:40I would say, I would say the Miss Seduction of Lauryn Hill.
18:46I would say Ready to Die.
18:48Suicidal Thoughts by Biggie Smalls was one of the most eye opening songs I'd ever heard
18:52because hearing a young black man talking about Suicidal Thoughts made me go, oh my God,
18:58that's a thing that I feel and I want to be able to talk about it.
19:02Jagged Little Pill and yeah.
19:07Anything Fiona Apple.
19:09Fetch the ball cutters.
19:10Yeah.
19:10Let's go.
19:10I mean, and see, I think that's perfect because I feel like you just described-
19:13And purple ring.
19:15Oh, purple ring.
19:16Come on, purple ring.
19:16Oh my gosh, sorry.
19:17Yeah, I forgot.
19:17But no, you just described yourself and your vibe.
19:20I think even doing that, I think people can know exactly what they expect from your music
19:24from just how eclectic and interesting that list was.
19:27Cool.
19:27So, thanks for coming and hanging out with me.
19:29Thank you so much.
19:29Thank you for sharing your joy.
19:31I love it when people ask questions and I'm like, my brain just melted.
19:34When you try and find a Nazi, you're like-
19:35But milk them in the best way.
19:36Yeah, fine.
19:37That was good, I'm telling you.
19:39It went like that.
19:40Thanks so much.
19:40Thank you so much.
19:41Thank you so much.
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