- 9 hours ago
Tuttle Twins - Season 4 Episode 7 - Food Lies & Battle Cries
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00:15Fierce Family Fitness, your favorite TV show featuring kids who are too muscular for their
00:20age.
00:21We travel across the country putting families in the Fierce Family Fitness days.
00:25Fierce Family Fitness, sponsored by Nerbs & Co. Health Foods.
00:29Today, we'll test the tenacity of the Tuttle Family with Dad, Pidgey, Mom, Julia, and the
00:35twins, Ethelie and E-Man.
00:37Um, we're Emily and Ethelie.
00:39They'll be battling against the Carmichael Family with Dad, Richard, Mom, Vanessa, daughter,
00:44Corrine, and their biological son, Sir Butt-Tudes.
00:48Definitely not my servant slash butler slash tutor who my family pays to do whatever I want.
00:52If we win, I get Christmas off.
00:55Each episode, I, Flex Vortex, pick a strong, smart assistant referee from an elite pool of
01:01local athletes to help me host the games.
01:04Please welcome, Copernicus.
01:09Who's Copernicus?
01:10I'm a zebra!
01:13It's the regret!
01:15It's the regret!
01:16The regret!
01:37It's the regret!
02:00The Family Who Wins Fierce Family Fitness
02:02gets a year's supply of healthy, ready-made Nervesy Co. Meals!
02:06Don't go anywhere. The competition begins right after these messages.
02:11Health Bars by Nervesy Co. Jam-packed with 100% natural-sounding ingredients.
02:16Tells your family and friends and gives your products for free.
02:18I can't believe people are gonna watch us on TV!
02:21You have no idea.
02:23Richard Carmichael might have a bigger house, a better car,
02:27a larger paycheck, higher percentage of working hair follicles...
02:33But we've been training for this competition.
02:35I feel great! This weekend we'll show him we're a family of winners!
02:40Yeah, and it was really nice of Nervesy Co. to supply health food for the whole competition!
02:45And if we win?
02:46Not cooking for a year!
02:47You don't cook anyway.
02:49Even better!
02:50Healthy gummy bears? That's just wrong!
02:54And delicious!
02:55I can hear my heart pumping already!
02:57I'm just excited to spend quality time with my family while decimating the Carmichael's!
03:03Woohoo!
03:04That's the spirit!
03:06Hands in, everyone!
03:08Go Tuttles!
03:12Ugh! The Tuttles think they're so cute with their family cheer!
03:16Let's show them, guys!
03:19RANK is late!
03:21We're shutting down the orphanage!
03:22I don't care!
03:23Send them back to their parents!
03:25Hmm...
03:26Contestants, to your places!
03:31May the best family win!
03:33I'll see you in court!
03:34Huh?
03:35On the phone!
03:37The competition begins in three...
03:40Two...
03:42Of course I'm at the office!
03:44Where else would I be?
03:45Round one is dad versus dad in a water obstacle course!
03:49My dad is a squirrel sometimes!
03:52I'd push you down the stairs, but that would make me more unlikable!
03:55Yeah!
04:11Oh dear!
04:13This is the reason they all sign liability waivers!
04:16Come on, Dad!
04:17You got this!
04:17Go, Eugene!
04:22Ooh...
04:23Ooh!
04:29Oh, indeed!
04:31Tough break for Eugene!
04:32Should've taken a snack break with...
04:35Nerpsico's Max Mobility Mocha!
04:38It's not just coffee...
04:39It's victory in a bottle!
04:40My squirrel dad freaks those!
04:47I don't care where the nuns go!
04:49Just get them out!
04:50Richard!
04:51Get going!
04:52Ah, that was just my secretary!
04:53I'm still here!
04:54Charging you by the minute!
04:57Look!
04:57If the puppies don't like sewage in their water,
05:00they shouldn't have set up their shelter next to the treatment board!
05:02Oh!
05:04Yes, yes!
05:05That's good for the children!
05:06But what about my make-a-wish?
05:08To make money!
05:11And Eugene, Tags, and Julia!
05:13The Tunnels have won by one!
05:16Yeah, baby!
05:18Woo-hoo!
05:21Yes!
05:22Take that, Richard!
05:24I'll sue you and everyone you love!
05:26Excuse me?
05:27Shh!
05:27I'm talking to my grandma!
05:29On to round two!
05:31It's a bike course through the city!
05:33Mom vs. Mom!
05:34It's the Tour de Moms!
05:38Ouchie!
05:39As the moms race, the daughters will put their bodies and brains to the desk,
05:43each building a bridge stable enough to get their moms across this round's finish line!
05:49Engineering? On a Saturday? All right!
05:53Oh, I always hire Sir ButtTube to do work like this!
06:07Chris!
06:07Ah!
06:10Oh!
06:15Oh!
06:16Looks like Vanessa's got the mid-race crash!
06:19But she hydrates with Therpico's full-ditch juice!
06:22Look at her!
06:23She's glowing!
06:32Oh!
06:37Oh!
06:40Oh!
06:40Corinne?
06:41I can help! I can help!
06:42Oh!
06:44Oh!
06:45Oh!
06:48Oh!
06:49What a show!
06:51Vanessa wins! A head start for her team in the last leg!
06:56AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
06:58Amazing form!
06:59Now with everything on the line, the last leg is do or die, mostly do but possibly die.
07:04And now a quick word from our sponsor!
07:06Yeah, drink your NERVSEEGOLD!
07:12Oh...
07:12Oh, sorry honey, I'm not feeling so hot.
07:16You gave it your best.
07:21Oh, my IBS is flaring up for some reason.
07:24Oh, hi twins! I was just getting the free NERVSEEGO complimentary Botox with Beth.
07:30Hi twins, long time no alien invasion.
07:33Is it normal to feel your pancreas?
07:36Have you ever felt like your stomach wanted to strangle you?
07:41You didn't eat a bunch of brightly packaged food without reading the labels, did you?
07:47What?
07:50Oh, you look WEIRD!
07:53Has your head always been so weird?
07:56Oh, we haven't had a good fever dream in a cuticle since then!
08:00Bumble!
08:02Whoa!
08:09Whoa!
08:09Whoa!
08:13Whoa!
08:15No fish!
08:16Aw!
08:17Oh...
08:18Where are we?
08:19It looks like some sort of rehabilitation center for outdated food claims.
08:23My beloved munchkins.
08:25Grandma, you're walking.
08:27And nice to us?
08:29Anything is possible in food-induced fever dreams.
08:33I'll take it.
08:34I got milk. I got milk. I got milk.
08:37Does that meal triangle look familiar?
08:40That's not just any meal triangle, my sweet prince.
08:43That's the food pyramid.
08:45The food pyramid?
08:46The food pyramid was an educational tool used to help kids know how much of each different kinds of food
08:52to eat.
08:53No, no, no. I used to be the food pyramid, hung in every classroom in America, brainwashing children into eating
09:01bad food.
09:02But I put the past behind me, and now I'm just a talking triangle.
09:05Did you eat your 11 slices of white bread today?
09:08Sorry, old habits.
09:09How did a nutrition chart like you help sell unhealthy foods?
09:13I was used by the food industrial complex.
09:16The what?
09:17It's when big food companies team up with the government to put profits over people's health.
09:22How do they do that?
09:24Cigarettes!
09:25What?
09:26You can't say that on a kid's show! It was wrong then, and it is wrong now!
09:30Let me back up. See that guy?
09:33Smoking is good for you? No way anyone ever believed that!
09:38Oh, they sure did. Thanks to the schemes in this playbook.
09:41In the 1950s, even though cigarette companies knew their product was deadly, they still marketed them as healthy with deceptive
09:49advertising and fake health studies, while adding ingredients to make them even more addictive.
09:54Okay, but we don't smoke. What does that have to do with the food we eat?
09:59In the 1980s and 90s, these same cigarette companies bought the world's biggest food brands and then used the same
10:05playbook.
10:08They marketed them as healthy and fun, conducted fake health studies, and added ingredients to make them more addictive.
10:15Then they got the U.S. Department of Agriculture to put sugary foods like Cocoa Poofs and Frosty Flags at
10:22the bottom of the pyramid.
10:24The bottom? But that's the biggest section!
10:27Exactly! The section for food I'd recommend the most!
10:32No offense, but I don't think anybody uses this old food pyramid anymore.
10:37But food companies and the government are still tight, and the lies keep flooding in.
10:41Who do you think approved the idea that french fries and pizza sauce are vegetables for your school lunch?
10:48The government?
10:49And who paid millions of dollars to get the government to say that so they could keep their billion-dollar
10:54school lunch contracts?
10:55The big food companies!
10:57And what do we call that?
10:58The food industrial complex!
11:01Yep, the food industrial complex will tell you that some healthy foods are bad, and some bad foods are healthy,
11:07so they make more money.
11:09Cocoa Poofs are better for you than red meat!
11:12They really claimed that in 2022!
11:14But that's a lie! How can they lie?
11:18Big companies like Nerpsy Co. pay the politicians.
11:21Politicians sign off on their bad ingredients and give them a government stamp of approval.
11:26Then the companies make more money and pay more politicians.
11:31And this cycle of greed has had catastrophic effects on health!
11:34It's true. 60 years ago, when kids ate a diet of minimally processed foods, only 5% of kids were
11:41chronically ill or overweight.
11:43But today, it's 50% as kids eat a diet of ultra-processed food that has the government stamp of
11:49approval.
11:50Who cares about the government stamp of approve? FDA approved? Dang it!
11:55What does ultra-processed actually mean?
11:58This Nerpsy Co. health bar contains almonds, which grow on a tree.
12:02These whole almonds contain natural good fats, proteins, and nutrients your body loves.
12:08Great!
12:09But then, Nerpsy Co. ultra-processes the almonds, grinding away fiber, adding sugar and chemicals, until they barely resemble almonds
12:20at all.
12:22I want to take a closer look.
12:24Where did you get that?
12:25I always bring a pocket microscope to my fever dreams.
12:29Whoa!
12:31This almond's cells look alive! Amazing!
12:35Whoa, look at this!
12:36What do you think it is? It looks dead.
12:39It's your gummy bear, Ethan!
12:41No wonder we're feeling dead!
12:43We've been eating dead food!
12:46You mean my tummy troubles?
12:48My IBS could be tied to what I eat!
12:52Ethan! Take it easy!
12:53They're my emotional support gummy bears.
12:57One for you, one for me.
12:59I know I smelled a boy with IBS!
13:11I got the runs, but not the baseball kind.
13:15Holy gummy bear!
13:16Aww, you're finally getting it, twins! I'm so proud of you!
13:21Oh, nice grandma is the best!
13:23Oh, grandma, I could stay here forever.
13:26But we gotta go back to a fitness competition right after this sugar-filled fever dream.
13:31How can we know what food is good to eat?
13:33As a general rule, the closer you can get to eating fresh, whole foods, the better.
13:37The closer to the farm, the further from harm.
13:40Which is less processed?
13:41The almonds or the almond health bar?
13:44The almonds!
13:45Vegetables or veggie chips?
13:47Vegetables!
13:48Nailed it!
13:49Ugh, but I bet fresh, whole foods are more expensive, though.
13:53Not always!
13:55You can find inexpensive options with a little bit of research.
13:58Or, grow your own garden to avoid pesticides from big industrial farms.
14:02And don't forget that ultra-processed foods come with the hidden cost of medical expenses down the road
14:07after you've been slowly poisoned over the years.
14:10Man, you're a downer.
14:11Look, man, this is your fever dream.
14:13Thank you, sad, sad pyramid lady full of regret.
14:16You may have brainwashed millions of kids into eating poorly,
14:19but you just convinced two kids to eat healthily.
14:22Goodbye.
14:23Remember, I was born on lies, but you can eat the truth!
14:31And never forget how much I love you just the way you are!
14:38I love you too, grandma!
14:41What?
14:41Quiet!
14:42It's grandma time!
14:48The race!
14:50Ben?
14:51Great!
14:52You kids scared away my only friend with your weird dream!
14:55Oh, but I still feel bloated and tired!
14:59I wish we had more time to make healthy choices, but it's go time!
15:02You got this, Ethan!
15:04Woo!
15:04Bring honor to the total name!
15:06If we win, I think I'll celebrate by suing you.
15:10Are you still on a call?
15:13Nope.
15:15Water, check.
15:17Laces, check.
15:18Energy gummy bears, check!
15:22You still haven't learned your lesson!
15:24Sorry!
15:25Bad habits.
15:26They're just so irresistible!
15:27All right, time to go!
15:28Go where?
15:30Go where?
15:32Go where?
15:33You can't be serious!
15:37Where did Emily go?
15:46Where did Emily go?
15:54Correct!
15:54You want us to get kicked off the air?
15:56Go save your brother!
15:57Yuck!
15:58That was way worse than the Lazy River, and I know how much kids pee in those.
16:05Are these Ethan's cells?
16:07It's about time someone showed up.
16:10We're running on sugar fumes down here.
16:12Wait!
16:12I know this one!
16:13You're powered by the mitochondria!
16:16The powerhouse of the cell!
16:18That's the only thing kids remember about us from science class.
16:22Hey!
16:22I happen to remember 731 things.
16:26Good for you.
16:27We help turn the food you eat into energy for your body.
16:30But if Ethan keeps eatin' like a garbage disposal, we can't power anything very well.
16:38And then there's that guy!
16:44What is that?
16:46He comes from the depths of the mountains.
16:50Ethan's driving the air!
16:54Ugh, what's going on in there?
16:56Ethan, it's me!
16:58Emily?
16:58Where are you?
16:59In your digestive system!
17:01Watch out!
17:02Panic!
17:03Too late.
17:04Hey, E!
17:05May the best biological brother win!
17:09Welcome back, folks!
17:10As a reminder, Sir Butttoot, the, uh, Carmichael's biological child, gets a slight head start thanks to Vanessa's excellent finish.
17:18Right!
17:19No, no, no!
17:25Your IBS is...
17:27Aggressive!
17:27You have no idea!
17:32If I'm going to escape and you're going to win, you need to eat better food!
17:37Roger that!
17:42Okay, okay, apple juice or fresh apple?
17:45Remember, the closer to the farm, the further from harm!
17:48Right!
17:49Whole food!
17:56Ethan!
17:57It's lurking!
17:59Hi-yah!
18:01Oh!
18:06Sir Butt!
18:07Uh, brother!
18:08Ethan's skating on a skateboard Pepsi bar!
18:10You should put your little soap.
18:12Ah-yah!
18:29Emily, it's hard-boiled eggs against.
18:33Against what, Ethan?
18:35It's so beautiful.
18:37What is it, Ethan?
18:39Gummy bears with protein and also high-fructose corn syrup.
18:44Ethan, what's less processed?
18:46Egg me.
18:47You may not be addictively delicious,
18:50but at least you're real food.
18:52Forgive me.
18:59Cells! Are you not cells of honor?
19:03Yes!
19:04Then fight! Fight for Ethan to the death!
19:08To the death!
19:09Or help his gut?
19:11I'm not really sure how this works.
19:13To the death or something else!
19:25Did you literally just eat another gummy bear?
19:29Sorry, it just happened.
19:41Cells!
19:42Let us finish this once and for all.
19:44For Ethan, for gut health,
19:46and for Zion!
19:59You're not stealing my Christmas, boy!
20:26It's not like you're getting paid!
20:28Why isn't the nursing co-alter process food working?
20:46Process this!
21:01Yes, Ethan!
21:03Woohoo!
21:06We did it! Woohoo!
21:08Yeah, baby! Emily! Why aren't you celebrating?
21:12I'm gonna go take a shower.
21:17Woohoo!
21:18Who would have known 200 milligrams of caffeine, sodium, and food diet Red 40 doesn't help my physical performance.
21:27The winners of Fierce Family Fitness are the Tunnel Family!
21:34You'll be receiving a year's supply of Nerpsico foods!
21:41Technically, it's not real food. It's ultra-processed caloric garbage.
21:44A concoction of processed sugar and nutritional sawdust with 37 dead ingredients.
21:49I gave some of the Nerpsico food to my squirrel father and he said it brought great sickness, obesity, and
21:56death!
21:56To our squirrel people!
22:01Please excuse my assistant. He's clearly not thinking straight.
22:05Yes! Thanks to eating lots of this!
22:07Uh, anyway, uh, Nerpsico is a proud sponsor of, uh, oh, uh, uh, uh, hello?
22:14Oh, wow! What's a class action?
22:17Nerpsico is getting soon!
22:20So, how are we supposed to eat a year's supply of this garbage?
22:23I want a little house!
22:39The closer to the farm, the further from harm!
22:44Pick up, Beth.
22:46Esa muchacha comes for the free botox,
22:49but then leaves when my family actually wins something!
23:11Good afternoon, children watchers.
23:14You may have noticed in this episode many instances of people talking with food in their mouths.
23:20Icky, gross, barbaric, heathen swine, and if you do not speak with food in your mouth,
23:27it's in the light and you will die.
23:49Icky, gross, barbaric, heathen swine.
23:53Icky, gross, barbaric, heathen swine.
24:07Icky, gross, barbaric, heathen swine.
24:10Icky, gross, barbaric, heathen swine.
24:10Icky, gross, barbaric, heathen swine.
24:10Icky, gross, barbaric, heathen swine.
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