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TVTranscript
00:07Last week on Drag House Rules, Trinity's sugar-filled go-go juice sent the queens into an all-out war.
00:15How dare you!
00:18Scarlet!
00:18Heidi promised she'd make Scarlet the drama in exchange for immunity and intel.
00:24And when ex-boyfriend Thomas crashed the party,
00:27Jujubee, this is fucked!
00:28Sephira flattened him in a fight-cloth-style throw-down.
00:34Later, a bit draggled.
00:35Sephira fled by her own volition.
00:38Sephira, please, please, we'll make-
00:39Fuck y'all!
00:44Somebody wanna explain to me what the fuck happened last night?
00:48Kirsten, I'm sorry.
00:50We were trying to produce some drama on the show and it went a little too far.
00:55Oh, honey, this isn't your fault.
00:56It was entirely her fault. Jujubee is the one that-
00:59But you two should know better.
01:01Our sweet little Jujubee here is a first-time producer.
01:04And I'm sure he's trying this little darndest to deal with the numbskulls that surround him.
01:07No, this is my fault.
01:10I should have offered more oversight, but I was trying to be respectful.
01:14You know, it's a little overwhelming.
01:15I'm a straight man in a leadership position on a queer-centered show and there's knives and there's dicks and
01:21there's-
01:47Bring in that non-binary whiz kid that does VFX for us.
01:50What's her name?
01:52Aspen? Asher?
01:53Aster!
01:54Pretty sure it's Aperture. Apture? A-p-
01:58I don't think so.
02:00Apture.
02:00Y'all heard of a little thing called AI?
02:03Show them what you did earlier, kid.
02:05So yeah, basically we're going to use new technology to take the shots from day one's lineup and basically use
02:12composition AI to replace Zephira with Plane Jane.
02:18What about Sherry Vine?
02:20We're turning her into a houseplant.
02:24Oh, fantastic!
02:26Great, so we just have to shoot Plane's walk-in, fake some day one confessional stuff and we're good, right?
02:32Exactly. The post team will start with their erasure of Sherry and Zephira and let you know if we need
02:38any additional pickups.
02:40Is this ethical?
02:44I think what he means is, should we be filming this?
02:53Turn that shit off!
02:57You know what? Keep it.
02:59Sherry, Zephira, Chaos Crimes. It's cheaper than reshoots and I can't handle any more bad press around this stupid fucking
03:04show.
03:49But we're looking for some of these things, but you can handle it.
03:50I don't like that.
03:50We're also looking for the game without a choice of a change.
03:50We'll be doing this game without a choice.
03:50It takes to be a choice.
03:51It works for a game without a choice.
03:57Do the game without a choice of a change in the world.
03:58But we can be a choice of a change in the world.
04:12Hey, stupid bitches.
04:18And they say we're not allowed to get violent anymore.
04:20We're definitely gonna jump that ass.
04:23Hey, P-P-Paybie, what are these?
04:25Oh, B-P-Paybie won't come to set unless she has her cue cards.
04:28Her what?
04:29Cue cards.
04:30Girl, Miss Phoebe sounds like a handful and a half.
04:33Angeria!
04:35Oh, Lord, here comes no fun fanny.
04:39Did I just see your little boy toy fly through here?
04:42No, you did not.
04:43It was all in the news.
04:45Claymore, we all actually really like Angie's boy toy.
04:49He's real nice.
04:50Hey, sorry, couldn't help overhearing.
04:52You know, what if we use Canon on camera?
04:59No, I don't.
05:00Oh, come on, man.
05:02Show could use a little man meat.
05:04He'd be like Beno White, but for gay people.
05:08Beno White is for gay people.
05:10Look, you can use him for your little show as long as you keep your hands off of him.
05:18Girl, I'm not gay.
05:20I actually believe him.
05:23Sex does sell, and he strikes me as a man who likes capitalism.
05:27I really do.
05:29Glad we're in agreement.
05:31Okay, girls.
05:32Have a great day.
05:38He look gay to me.
05:40Oh, my God, look.
05:41Look at him.
05:43What is he?
05:45Is he polishing Angie or his heel?
05:48He must still be on punishment with what happened with Sherry's mouth.
05:51Ew.
05:53Do you think we're doing that?
05:56Hey, losers, guess what?
05:58What plane?
05:59You fags are ugly, and your fans are lying to you.
06:02Oh, bitch.
06:03Look, I'm not the villain.
06:04I'm the narrative engine.
06:06Without me, this house would be a beige waiting room with wigs.
06:09She's so nasty, raw, and cut.
06:12I know, but at least it's like fresh energy.
06:15Fresh.
06:16Okay.
06:17A lot of these girls had to audition.
06:19I was a direct booking.
06:21I didn't need to beg and barter and suck cock for this role.
06:28I do that for free.
06:43Please don't save me.
06:44Please don't save me.
06:45Please don't save me.
06:49Here you go.
06:52You okay?
06:53What is that?
06:55Demon Slayer.
06:56You ever heard of it?
06:57Is that like a Laboo thing?
07:00Yeah.
07:01It's like a Laboo thing.
07:03I don't do like Pokemon.
07:05Yeah.
07:05You don't give me anime time.
07:07You give me like you watch the Gilmore Gals and cry to yourself at sleep at night.
07:12Okay.
07:14Sorry.
07:15Sorry.
07:16I'm just like, I'm like trying to come over here and like, you know, be like, hey girl.
07:19Yeah, yeah.
07:20But like, you don't really like.
07:21I'm sorry.
07:22You know, I was, I was, girl, I was gaming.
07:24But how are you doing though?
07:27Actually?
07:28Really?
07:29I'm amazing.
07:30Watching your ex get carted away by the police like that?
07:34So deserved.
07:35Honestly, yeah.
07:36I can see it.
07:36I can see it.
07:37But you should thank Sophia for that.
07:39Such a boss move, the way she just walked off the show like that?
07:42You know, after last night, I thought about it too, but you only get one of those.
07:46One of what?
07:47Quit the show.
07:48I already used mine in 2023.
07:50But if I do it twice, I'll never get booked on TV again.
07:53So.
07:53Oh, that makes sense.
07:55Yeah.
07:55Why would you want to quit?
07:57Hey, what are you guys talking about?
07:59Your lace, hoe.
08:01Mine?
08:01Your non-existent, non-full frontal lace.
08:04Chopped.
08:05Come here.
08:06You want me?
08:08Look, it was a pleasure meeting you for the first time.
08:10You too.
08:11I'll see you.
08:11God bless you.
08:12Can I come with you then?
08:13No, you stay right there.
08:14You stay right there.
08:20La boo boo.
08:22La boo la boo.
08:23La boo boo.
08:28Sister.
08:30Sister.
08:31Did you get the pin yet?
08:33No.
08:35Jujubee said I'm still not the drama.
08:38Or like that I have to be more of the drama.
08:40Or the drama needs to be me.
08:41Or like I have to be at one with the drama.
08:44I don't know.
08:44It's getting confusing.
08:46Well, just go fight plane.
08:47It's easy.
08:49Yeah, I don't think it's that simple, honestly.
08:51I mean, like, plane's fighting literally everyone.
08:55Really?
08:55And stay away from my fucking sandwich, Lardina, as biggies.
08:58I swear to God, plane's.
09:00Yeah.
09:00Big bad guys.
09:01Well, I'm sure you'll figure it out.
09:05You are the drama.
09:08Yeah, I'm not so sure anymore.
09:10Clearly the vote is for plane tonight.
09:12That goes without saying.
09:14Mm-hmm.
09:14You said that three times already.
09:17I'm manifesting justice.
09:19Oh.
09:19And maybe next week, we can vote for Trinity.
09:23But why train ya?
09:24Ugh, God.
09:25Like, of course, I respect the legacy or whatever, but, like, her drag's a little dated.
09:29She's, like, so old.
09:31Like, dusty vintage.
09:33Oh, hey, sister.
09:35Hi.
09:36How you doing?
09:36So, because she said dress for movement, did y'all bring that kind of drag?
09:41Honey, you ain't got to worry about me.
09:42All of my looks off of twirling and whirling.
09:45Mm-hmm.
09:45Yeah, do you need to borrow something?
09:46I mean, we brought a lot of stuff.
09:48I wouldn't wear that.
09:49But I'm good.
09:50Thanks.
09:53Let me know.
09:55She's such a cunt.
09:56You are a shaded-ass bitch, because you didn't even have to say that.
09:59Oh, God.
10:01Anything but sports.
10:04Hmm, ladies, ladies, ladies.
10:08Immunity.
10:09The prize everyone's dying for.
10:11Tonight, one of you will win the privilege to dodge tonight's elimination.
10:15Yes, you will.
10:17Oh, fuck no.
10:18No, I'm not doing that.
10:19The rules are simple, people.
10:21One queen will stand on the side of the court while the other queen tries to hit her with
10:25these professional-grade dodgeballs.
10:29Professional-grade?
10:31Playground dodgeballs are made of a low-discity, no-sting rubber.
10:34Professional-grade is made of a firmer foam that allows you to grip the balls better.
10:38Okay, why do you know this?
10:40Oh, I played dodgeball league.
10:42It really helps blow off the steam.
10:44Yeah!
10:45Let's go!
10:47Woo!
10:48Ah!
10:49Ah!
10:50We get to play dodgeball!
10:52Yes, sir!
10:53I'm trying to hit these bitches in their face.
10:54Not their face.
10:55It's illegal.
10:55But I'm going to hit them.
10:56I'm going to get them.
10:57Yeah.
10:57I'm winning this one.
10:58Trust.
10:58Mimi, what rules is it?
11:00Federation league?
11:02National rules?
11:03Which one?
11:03I don't know what that means, but the cards say once you hit, you're out.
11:08The queen will survive the longest, wins immunity.
11:12Selena, you're up first.
11:15Okay.
11:16I'm out of here.
11:17Come on, ladies.
11:18Let's get her ass out.
11:19No head shots, okay?
11:21Oh, what if my aim is for and I just happened to accidentally hit her in the head?
11:25I swear to God, plane!
11:27All right, Selena, let the games begin.
11:31With the obvious exception of plain bitch-ass Jane, I feel like these queens have been very,
11:36like, motherly and lovey towards me, you know?
11:39I love it, but I don't know.
11:41Today, something's different.
11:55I may not be good at sports, but I have a lot of experience with balls.
12:13Girl, let's just get her.
12:18What?
12:19I don't want to get sweaty.
12:21Get her!
12:31That's 30 seconds, and Jimmy is the one to be beat.
12:48You know, Heidi is a very skinny, small person, and I'm actually really surprised to see how athletic Heidi is.
12:57Because I wouldn't expect it, if somebody looks like, you know, being delicious at her.
13:02Girl!
13:03Oh, my God!
13:10Okay, ladies.
13:12Professional grade.
13:16Heidi, it's at two minutes.
13:19No!
13:19Oh!
13:20Uh-uh!
13:22Right here!
13:23Oh!
13:24Come on!
13:32Woo!
13:33Good job, Heidi.
13:34That was incredible.
13:35Did I win?
13:36Slow down.
13:37What about me?
13:37Plain Jane!
13:39The time to beat is two minutes and nine seconds!
13:41Piece of cake, girl.
13:42I got this.
13:43Come on.
13:43Mm-hmm.
13:44We'll see about that.
13:45Hold on to those tits, bitch.
13:48I'm an expert at dodging balls, bitch.
13:52Get at me, bitch.
13:53Get at me, bitch.
13:54Oh, shit!
13:58Oh, shit!
13:59The fuck?
14:00You fucking bitch!
14:03Hey, that's against the rules!
14:05So are fucking headshots, bitch!
14:06BB, disqualify her!
14:08She's on testosterone!
14:09You know what, bitch?
14:10Put these shots!
14:11No, bitch!
14:16This is embarrassing.
14:20Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
14:21We're done here.
14:22Heidi, water immunity, I'm out.
14:25I don't even know why they got me here.
14:26This is really, really crazy.
14:27Can I have my tea?
14:29Can I have my black car service?
14:30I need to get out of here.
14:31This is real.
14:33Ah!
14:34Ah!
14:34Ah!
14:35You bitch!
14:36Ah!
14:37You're a terrorist, Plain!
14:39Girl, please.
14:39Nobody cares about your feelings, Selena.
14:41Well, I'm Selena.
14:43Nobody loves me.
14:44My boyfriend just broke up with me.
14:46I take deal loads just to feel something.
14:48Do you believe this?
14:50I mean, I love to take deal loads.
14:52No, I'm talking about Plain.
14:54Oh, yeah.
14:55She's pretty bad.
14:57I don't know how she still gets booked.
14:58Girl, this is soft, juicy, profitable.
15:02Pussy, honey.
15:03That's messy.
15:06Oh, my God.
15:08She is pure chaos.
15:09Mm-hmm.
15:11And she's so good at causing drama.
15:13That's for damn sure.
15:16Yeah, I know.
15:19God, what are they doing in there?
15:22But she low-key funny, too, when you think about it.
15:25Yeah, evil.
15:28In like a fun, sexy, evil way.
15:34I don't know about sexy, but okay.
15:37Evil, yes.
15:39Definitely evil.
15:45I'm so happy these cameras are on so people can see how disgusting and vile you are, Plain.
15:50I'm so happy these cameras are on.
15:52I'm so happy these cameras are on.
15:53Damn, y'all need to calm down.
15:56Have some hummus.
15:57Wait, wait.
15:58Oh, you.
15:59Oh.
15:59Mm-hmm.
16:01What?
16:02She just finger-fucked that hummus.
16:07Girl, you're doing too much, girl.
16:09Lane, what the fuck is this?
16:10You love my hummus finger.
16:12Don't lie, bitch.
16:13You love my hummus finger.
16:13Is there anything you won't put your fingers in?
16:15I won't put my fingers in that, baby.
16:17The first time this Russia went in, she looked like you're being displeased.
16:22Oh, really?
16:23Vote her out!
16:24Vote her out!
16:26Vote her out!
16:29Girl, where the hell is she going?
16:31It was in that moment, that very moment, that I realized maybe there's more than one way to be the
16:42drama.
16:58unexpected but not unwelcome she smells like an old woman but like potpourri like a classy
17:06old lady smell right right that one feral feral cells juju claymore wow just wow i mean that kiss
17:19come on you guys i got mad props on the story producing my brother yeah yes hey you guys are
17:29running this show like pros thank you listen network needs me to step out to put out some
17:35fires on another show you guys okay if i leave you got this right um absolutely yeah yeah listen
17:43take care just a phone call away right sure sure safe travels you scare me good fear gets results
18:13one moment please please come here
18:22camera could you like go follow uh selena i'm pretty sure she's downstairs in the bathroom waffle stomping
18:29a fat turd you're cold okay hi hey is this about our agreement yeah yeah okay great job by the
18:42way
18:42gregory loved the kiss moment yeah so much that he left me in charge oh that's so good scarlet i
18:49owe you
18:49big time yeah you do oh literally an immunity pen you said you would give me one right right but
18:55but
18:55you know i can't exactly tell you where it is but you promised fine upstairs okay in the office
19:06on the bookshelf to the left behind lord of the flies oh my god that's so fitting right yeah yeah
19:14okay
19:14thank you so much thank you so much thank you so much you're welcome you're welcome so much oh okay
19:19yeah okay
19:24what the fuck
19:27ladies
19:30this week you painted your post and you threw dodgeballs like your rent depended
19:36on it but now the music fades the lashes listen and the fantasy files for unemployment
19:43and now my darlings it comes down to the vault write down the name of the queen you wish to
19:50send
19:51home or as i like to say the next soul banished from this glittery hell remember karma has excellent
20:00penmanship you may now begin
20:25now now now now now now now now now now now before we take a look at the vaults if
20:31any queen has a
20:32community pen they would like to use speak now okay then i will now tally the votes
20:58selena estides
21:02selena estides
21:03plain jane
21:07selena estides selena estides selena estides selena estides how you guys we talked about voting for
21:19plain she's a monster wait who why it was me why you did say her drag was dated remember yeah
21:30but
21:30i uh you can't sayonara kiddo you think you're a star well i built the galaxy
21:40bye pumpkin bye
21:53come on
21:55come on you nope
21:57come on right here uh uh come on
22:05come on
22:12come on