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TVTranscript
00:12I'm at the top of the pack now like who would have thought it's like I want to be happy
00:15and
00:15jumping for joy but cutting off Mick has broken my heart it's a part of the game but it's fucking
00:20hard congratulations Roxy yes congratulations yeah honestly I don't want anybody in the predicament
00:30that I just had I didn't want to snip anybody Mick was just the only possibility in my mind and
00:35I
00:36fucking live for her man I'm such a fan of her work at the end of the day we're here
00:40for a charity sis
00:41and like that's the most important thing I know girl but like it's not easy girl if it was me
00:46I
00:46would hand these scissors out like it was candy bitch everybody's getting a piece if I was at the
00:51top I just hope she forgets hey Gorge hey sis so sorry come sit here we saved this seat oh
01:00well
01:01Roxy is just the saddest front runner I've ever seen Mick I'm honestly so sorry the only choices I
01:08went off of was the badges I was trying to make it as fair as I could and Angie when
01:13them scissors
01:14landed on your punk ass I said there is no way I'm not cutting Nigeria the whole room went like
01:19yeah the whole room I literally choked but now let me just say this if I would have got cut
01:24a third
01:25time this early I'd be lying if I didn't say it would have kind of made me question whether it
01:29was
01:30personal correct and I didn't want you to feel like that but you knew where you were there's no way
01:38you were like this you were like I don't know where anyone is I never opened my eyes and then
01:42you were like this and you're like it's Nigeria I don't know per se if I fully buy that Roxy
01:52didn't
01:52know where I was in the room all I know is there are so many emotions and conspiracy theories going
01:58on in my head girl and I'm like oh my god I don't know who to listen to what to
02:00do I don't know
02:01I went like this when y'all all walked up and I said fuck it wherever I land I'm just
02:05gonna sniff
02:06you really promise I swear to you when you watch it like to me it just felt like you like
02:14saw it
02:15and then you heard our reactions and they're like well I can't do this I would hope that the girls
02:21are
02:21believing me but I know Queens Christmas has come early let's get out of drag I know these hosts see
02:28my three badges and they aren't looking for any excuse to take me down you got three badges bitch
02:32bitch I came at a price not I'm fucked around and I'm a target I gotta be a target yeah
02:37they finna
02:38snip snip a bitch let's get messy up here get off me get off me that's an example what's coming
02:45for you
02:49the winner of RuPaul's Drag Race All-Stars receives a one-year supply of Anastasia Beverly Hills
02:55cosmetics a coveted spot in the Drag Race Hall of Fame and a $200,000 donation to the charity of
03:03their
03:03choice courtesy of the Palette Fund with extra special guest judge Ruta Lee
03:29the birds are chirping I'm feeling gayer than before which is crazy do you think you're gonna get your
03:35badge this week bitch yeah but we don't even know what this week's challenge is it's gonna be a dance
03:41challenge as I'm shit again I don't know I know you do hello hello hello good morning ladykins you know
03:54in an election year the most important thing any of us can do is vote now as we remind our
04:01viewers at
04:02the end of every episode you can go to vote dot gov to register to vote in fact you can
04:09do it right now go ahead oh wait
04:20and vote dot gov vote dot gov register to vote at vote dot gov
04:26now in that spirit for today's mini challenge I'm conducting a straw poll designed to reveal the tea
04:34the whole tea and nothing but the tea oh no ma'am and we are providing poll workers
04:42yes bring them out bring them out oh pit crew
04:45yes all stars here's how our straw poll works I'll ask a question like which queen is most likely to
04:58sleep through election day okay you answer the question by choosing a fellow queen or
05:04choosing yourself damn each time your answer matches the majority of the group you get a point
05:10in the end the queen with the most points wins and today the winner receives twenty five hundred
05:17dollars for her charity and one beautiful benefactor's day
05:25only in america kids only in america let the straw poll begin first question which queen is most likely
05:35to run for president oh my gosh everyone except forgot mic voted for nina west
05:48madam president nina west it sounds good which queen is most likely to win america's heart with her
05:54big juicy ass this ain't no confusion come on oh it's a clean sweep except for vanji
06:12which queen is most likely to be secretary of delusion this is shady
06:17all right looks like the majority voted for angeria am i delusional
06:27like girl what that's definitely out on left field right now and i'm just like huh okay which queen
06:35is most likely to deny the outcome of all stars nine roxy well roxy is from florida right
06:44which queen is most likely to have never voted in a presidential election
06:56in the lead with 11 points each are georgias and nina west thou shall not covet but she's coveting
07:05she wants it i want a badge so bad here is your last question which queen is most likely to
07:11be the
07:12secretary of the secretary of shade
07:17oh child got mick and nina west voted for got mick but everyone else voted for roxy
07:28yes that means the polls have closed officially the winner of today's mini challenge is georgia
07:37oh my god congratulations georgia you've won a 2500 donation to your charity the national alliance
07:49on mental illness thank you courtesy of teammate plus you've also won yourself a beautiful benefactors
07:57badge oh my god yes i'm finally in the two badge club and i'm gunning for my third badge my
08:04fourth
08:04badge give me all the badges let's thank our poll workers for keeping democracy alive and well thanks
08:10guys all stars as drag queens we need to come together to support the freedom of speech
08:19the freedom of expression and the freedom to read a bitch to fill
08:25for this week's maxi challenge you'll take turns roasting each other at the national drag convention
08:34now to help you get roast ready you'll workshop your material with political strategist michelle
08:40visage
08:43and our extra special guest judge hollywood royalty ruta lee
08:51now georgia since you won the straw poll you get to decide the roast order oh this is going to
08:58be
08:58really really interesting all-stars start your engines and may the best drag queen win
09:08so let's get the roasted cooking i'm excited
09:14this week we are doing the drag national convention roast
09:20stand for the pledge allegiance
09:23we have to do a roast ladies how are y'all feeling about that i guess the big question is
09:27how are you
09:28going to determine the order oh my god that's a really good question isn't it
09:33oh here we go i don't want to go first or last going first you have to warm up the
09:38whole crowd
09:38but that's better than going last because it's the finale so come on sister i kind of know where i
09:45want to go i'm probably leaning towards the second who you think it'll open honestly i think chanel
09:51would be a great opener this host all the time i feel like you would kick it off really good
09:56i wanted
09:57to open it okay a lot of people will say someone opening up a show is the most challenging but
10:02i am
10:03a host for a living so it just fits and i think who i want to go last would be
10:12nina you want to wrap it up yes you're a good closer ever since the beginning of the competition
10:18nina has been on my radar she's the best at these comedy challenges so she's getting the worst spot
10:25i have to stop that in her tracks you didn't want to go left you know me i mean like
10:29i'm not the one
10:30who's like out there roasting and toasting bitches like i'm the one who's kind of like you look so good
10:34today but you were funny as fuck you wouldn't play this bitch hopefully i can do that can i go
10:39third
10:39okay okay like glitches yeah i guess i'm okay i'll go six yeah okay yeah so miss chanel you are
10:48first
10:49i'm second plastique is third roxy's fourth vanjie's fifth angie's six god makes seven oh and nina last
10:57so this is a good strategy and george's part it's also a terrible strategy for me because like i guess
11:01people see me as the most like seasoned stand-up comedian but i'm not and now i have the pressure
11:06of having to like wrap it up and send it home ugh you were smart by putting yourself second sure
11:11so
11:12what's your concept of this bro honestly rupal made it so clear that he wants to see me do a
11:18butch
11:18character and just gang it up so i'm like should i go out there and like a mustache i think
11:23he would
11:24cackle oh my god i know i can be a funny-ass bitch but so far in this competition i
11:30keep on
11:31disappointing myself in these comedy challenges i just feel like i keep on letting you down but
11:35rube has been giving me advice on what i should do with my comedy if you were to play someone
11:40really
11:41butch like a foreman on a construction site yes right that would be so hilarious and this challenge
11:46is a great opportunity to apply it i come up to the stage hopefully it works in my favor i
11:56hope nobody
11:57take things personal no because i bitch i'm going in
12:05are you excited i'm excited i like going on the next stage and chit chatting they be having to turn
12:10to my car turn it off turn it off she's doing too much she's running away with it yeah so
12:15your page is
12:15blank or you have stuff oh i have stuff yeah how do you feel about a roast um i feel
12:21good uh we did one
12:22we did one on my season they said they liked my confidence even if my jokes didn't hit i still
12:27said that joke like it was the funniest thing you had ever heard we are all here tonight to honor
12:31one
12:32man well unfortunately that man was unavailable so we got a woman instead i really talked about
12:38jokes i know i'm sure i was convinced i was convinced y'all did say i was delusional but by
12:45the way why
12:46you say i was delusional you know what delusional is go and google it i ain't gonna tell you
12:54i'm feeling the pressure a little bit i was just gonna say if i was you i feel so much
12:57pressure
12:58thanks roxy no because i felt it for the sewing challenge i think the misnomer here is that like
13:02i am the comedy girl but i'm not an insult count you're a be kind kind of girl yeah that
13:08last spot is
13:08like it's a lot of pressure yeah so i'm trying to like make sure that i rise to the level
13:13of the
13:14challenge and also rise to the level of what the room thinks i'm gonna do
13:20miss nina are you stressed a little bit yeah a little bit i mean you gave everyone else the
13:24spot they wanted and you put me in the end i'll remember that as the game unfolds oh i remember
13:29that too oh georgia says playing strategically and so if i had the power to get the ruby snippers
13:34i would be mindful of that and i will act accordingly mama is ready to play get your reads in
13:41queen
13:41get your reads in
13:49ruda i'm so glad you're here with us today you're not nearly as glad as i am yay i love
13:55that
13:57here comes chanel
14:00it's time that we get to workshop our roast with michelle and with ruda lee chanel meet ruda lee
14:06ruda lee meets chanel i'm so happy to see you likewise ruda lee is so iconic so legendary and i
14:15know her
14:15body of work she is a star you know i had the joy of doing a film and being the
14:21leading lady to frank
14:22sinatra dean martin sammy davis peter lawford the crosby boys those guys oh those guys and damn it i
14:30didn't sleep with any one of them oh my goodness i'm going to be her one day i love her
14:35oh i just
14:35love her ru i have to thank you for having all of us back and quite frankly thank you to
14:40the queens that
14:40are finally learning to shave their back bitch i am ready to open up this rose because tell me how
14:47many
14:47badges do i have i have zero badges i want to win this now roxy your season season five we
14:55struggled
14:56a little bit with the rose we struggled on five we struggled on all-stars too how the can i
15:00call you
15:01my mom if you're as old as my grandpa i suck more than michelle visage at a truck stop with
15:05a real with
15:05a glory hole right so what jokes do you have for us um nina i saw you on secret celebrity
15:15drag race
15:16is the real secret that you're not a celebrity good roxy as one of the most beloved queens of
15:22all time how can we top banji i guess i'll ask brooklyn heights for tips oh that's good that's
15:28good roxy you've got good stuff but you need to focus on your delivery and please don't race
15:34through your punch lines yeah don't get nervous you got this the pressure is pressuring okay i'm the
15:41bitch with the most badges if i do not win this week there's a strong possibility them snippers is
15:45gonna come to me angie you sleep a lot in this competition but so are me and the other girls
15:50one badge bitch i didn't get that okay set it up because your audience won't know diddly squat about
15:55that angie i'm willing to bet a badge you getting a check out of the government okay what what i
16:00didn't
16:00understand a word okay slow down pace yourself i truly haven't seen this many gay outcasts together
16:07since i got gang banged by the cast of glee gang bang might be a lot
16:12i'm probably gonna still say gang bang you know i bet carson's love life is much like my track
16:18record in this competition you just keep getting cut off it's cute cute you could be funnier and you
16:25could go deeper okay got it hold on wait hold on that's all right okay um i know you like
16:36to tell
16:36jokes i look at your face and you've been struggling a little bit up here yes the tough one yes
16:41it is
16:42it's been a tough one because child the girls keep trying to cut me off because you're good what you
16:48need to do is go if i wasn't good they wouldn't give a no matter how wonderful the sisters are
16:53yeah they can get bitchy that's it yeah don't forget what you came here to do
16:58and who you are when i tell you i really needed to hear that i do feel like i've been
17:03getting a little
17:03too caught up in the snipping and stuff and kind of my feelings about it but at the end of
17:07the day
17:07we're playing a game we're in a race and i need to win another challenge and i know that i
17:13am a funny
17:14bitch and funny bitch equates to comedy challenge winner you know what i'm saying i got homework to
17:21do but i'm yeah yeah you do i'm gonna get it together hello you handsome devil you oh thank you
17:28i
17:28just want to jump right into it and see what you got george's is truly impossible to underestimate you
17:34because why oh it's impossible to overestimate you or is it either one of them pays off right yeah
17:42okay you know plastique is not really shady i just do my own thing i be in my own lane
17:48but that's not
17:49really funny in a roast rupaul wants jabs punches stabs plastic is not that so plastic you surprised us
17:57last week with your comedy oh thank you are you a goofball in real life i think once i'm in
18:02a character or there's something that i can like lean on i think i can go all the way okay
18:09wait a minute i just won a comedy challenge last week while doing a character maybe this
18:14is my thing what if i play a character so that i can feel like i can't say these things
18:21finesse that
18:22up okay yes okay baby thank you thank you bye george just put you last yeah i'm closing this roast
18:27i mean
18:27no pressure right to none whatsoever darling you just have to cut top those bitches that were ahead
18:32of you that's right well i mean we'll try we'll try being top there you go throw us some jokes
18:37nina all
18:38right chanel chanel is here or as our young fans would say who you know mangie i just want to
18:45commend
18:46you on your choice of charities the aspca now if you can only convince rue to stop that animal cruelty
18:51and
18:51give chanel a badge or just put the old dog down oh good nina good okay okay rudy would you
18:58believe
18:59that nina's the nice queen but we should take that title away
19:06oh my god today we are getting ready to our national and drag convention roast
19:22i'm cut off this weekend it really sucks because i killed the roast on my season i am such a
19:28huge fan
19:28of you and your work and all of your hit songs but even though i can't win a badge i
19:36want to show
19:37everyone that i can still turn this out and win money for my charity point blank period dot com
19:45you feeling in your eyebrow no it's cracking my eyebrow oh because you're doing your boy look yes i'm doing
19:50my boy look today maybe this might be the start sister i know that's something new is anyone else doing
19:55a character i'm doing kind of a character you killed it last week with your character thank you so my
20:00idea was like coming out dressed up like an anime character and then i'll be like oh wait looks like
20:05i'm at the wrong convention i think that's really smart so let's see if it works oh no i tried
20:10tasha
20:11salad in my season all stars 2 and it didn't work because it's not funny oh my god so does
20:18anyone know
20:19who they're cutting oh someone just help me wow do you feel like you're the target right now you're
20:27in the lead if i don't win this challenge i feel like i'm a definite target i gotta go in
20:31here win
20:32this but just in case i don't i need to push that target away from me i mean anybody in
20:36here can be
20:37like oh well she's the easy one to cut but you might want to think about the next challenge oh
20:40very
20:41true i feel like everybody's so good at all that we've been doing we've all been killing it you know
20:45we don't know who's going to do well roxy has a coin we're just halfway through the competition
20:49the badge count is still so close and all of these queens are threats it can flip on a dime
20:55in a second this is drag grace hey me hold on to your wigs
21:02i'm painting a real soft today that's all somebody beat her in the face here maybe that's why you're
21:10delusional oh my god nina i mean like but you chose me for it so can you tell me why
21:15yeah why did
21:16everyone pick injuria i was trying to follow where i thought the room would go does anyone else have
21:21insights to that i don't know girl is anybody else gonna say something honestly sis i think that most
21:33of the time i feel like you think that you're gonna win some of these challenges i mean you do
21:36do good
21:37not gonna say that you don't but like i feel like sometimes i feel like you think that you're gonna
21:41be lip-syncing well the thing is i don't want to be caught off guard yeah like if i get
21:47good
21:47critique should i just stay in the same outfit and just say well it's funny sometimes i thought
21:53george's hacked my back because she's my season 14 sister but girl clearly the competitive atmosphere
21:59has settled in that's fine because i'm gonna bottle it up and i'm gonna let it all spew out
22:04bitch in the rose this shit's just sticky the makeup or the drama yes yes
22:34what's that
22:37Welcome to the main stage of RuPaul's Drag Race All-Stars.
22:40The house recognizes the gentlewoman from New Jersey, Michelle Visage.
22:45Well, if you're calling me gentle, then you don't recognize me at all.
22:51It's the delegate from Pennsylvania, style superstar Carson Kressley.
22:56Now, Carson, have you ever stumped for a candidate?
22:59Oh, no, but I have pegged a pollster.
23:02You know what happens, yeah.
23:05And she's been a Hollywood high roller for seven decades.
23:09The incomparable, Ruta Lee!
23:13I have always considered myself a queen, albeit an old queen.
23:17But nevertheless, this old queen is so happy to be with you.
23:22It is a dream come true to have you here with us today.
23:26This week, we challenged our queens to rock us with their caucus at the National Drag Convention Roast.
23:33And tonight on the runway, a category is Atomic Blonde.
23:37Ooh!
23:38All-Stars, start your engines.
23:40And may the best drag queen win.
23:46Welcome to the National Drag Convention Roast.
23:50To start things off, an invocation from America's reigning drag poet laureate, Bob the Drag Queen.
24:06I deserve that.
24:10I would like to read a selection from my book of poetry entitled,
24:14I Know Why the Butch Queen Vogue's.
24:20It's morning in America, and I look stunning.
24:25Yeah!
24:26With strong black voices rising, a change is a-coming.
24:32People bitching about drag queens while the whole world's crumbling.
24:37But they need to ask the real question.
24:41Is the bus still running?
24:44Let's get this roasted cooking, shall we?
24:47Thank you all.
24:55First up, from the great state of Nevada, it's Chanel.
25:02Chanel!
25:05Hello!
25:08Please show all of these absolutely gorgeous ladies all of the love that you have.
25:12Give it up!
25:13Come on, one more time!
25:15Yeah, no, even for Angeria!
25:17Even for Angeria!
25:19I know.
25:20We were all shocked that she was here, too.
25:24Thank you so much, Ru, for bringing all of us back.
25:28And thank you to the queens that are finally shaving theirs.
25:32But no, seriously, everybody here works so hard.
25:35The cast and crew behind the scenes truly is putting in every effort forth in getting Nina West into her
25:41corset each and every week.
25:44Carson Kressley is here with us.
25:45We love you, Carson.
25:46Thank you, Carson!
25:49I hope that you've had the opportunity to thank Michelle Visage for your cheeks, because they used to be her
25:53tits.
25:55And I did have a gay joke that I was going to throw on you, but fuck it.
26:01The next queen to come out on the stage, Georgias, it has been an immense pleasure working with you in
26:06Las Vegas, seeing your lights just big and bright on the Las Vegas trip, which is fabulous, because your name
26:12has never been seen on a high school diploma before.
26:18Please put your hands together for gayer than gay herself, Georgias!
26:28What's up!
26:29Oh, my God.
26:38My name is Georgias, and I'm your friendly gayer Huthug, what's up, what's up, what's up?
26:44And everybody make some noise for this bitch, Chanel.
26:50Mama, after hearing that, Rose, I don't think she's going to be getting a badge this week again.
27:00Nina West, you really do put the broad in Broadway.
27:04The only thing wider than your shoulders is Carson's gaping hole.
27:10But honestly, how would I know? I'm straight.
27:15Oh, my God. Angeria Paris Van Michaels is so country.
27:21How country is she?
27:22She douches with Sweet Tea Mama.
27:26Angeria is so country.
27:28How country is she?
27:30She eats ass with a side of mustard greens, bitch.
27:36Michelle, what's up, bro?
27:38Hey!
27:39It's nice to have a man on the panel.
27:42Before I go, I wanted to ask you, RuPaul, all night, are we, like, fucking making out later or what?
27:51If not, then get the fuck out of my face.
27:56Bring it to the stage.
27:57She goes by the name of Tragique, I mean, Plastique Tiara.
28:00How are you?
28:02Bitch gay.
28:04Bitch Georges is funny.
28:07There you go.
28:10Oh, my God.
28:13Oh, my goodness.
28:14I think I'm at the wrong imaginary convention.
28:18It's going to be hard to top Georges, but let's be honest here.
28:22Everyone has topped Georges.
28:25Come on!
28:26Georges is so gay, she can tell the flavor of a popsicle by sitting on it.
28:33God Mick is here.
28:35Come on, clap.
28:37You are so white that if you were a spice, you would be flour.
28:44Thank you for putting the T in LGBT.
28:49Trash.
28:52So good.
28:54Nina West is here!
28:56Hey!
28:57Nina's shoulders are so big, she has to use panorama to take a selfie.
29:04Roxy Andrews.
29:05My queen!
29:05My queen!
29:06Roxy's ass is so big.
29:09When she stepped on the scale, it says one person at a time, please.
29:14Michelle!
29:17Michelle's vagina is so deep.
29:20Leah Remini is still hiding from Scientology in there.
29:23Oh, yeah.
29:26That's a good idea.
29:29It's true.
29:31Michelle, your vagina is so black, battered, and barely holding on.
29:36It reminds me of...
29:38RuPaul!
29:42Mama Ru is so old.
29:44When she was in science class, the only elements on the periodic table were earth, wind, and fire.
29:53Thank you all so much.
29:54You've been such an amazing audience tonight.
29:56Yeah!
29:59Yeah!
30:01Yeah!
30:08Welcome back to the National Drag Convention Roast.
30:13Up next, Roxy Andrews.
30:21Hi, everyone!
30:24I'm Roxy Andrews, and I'm here to make it clear.
30:27Are you ready?
30:28Yes.
30:29Georges, my little baby doll.
30:32She is as smart as she is tall.
30:38Angeria!
30:39Y'all make some noise for Angeria!
30:42Now, Angeria, I know your name features the name Paris because you've always wanted to go there.
30:47And it also features Ban because you've always lived in one.
30:54That's cute.
30:56Bitch, your nose is so long!
30:59Period!
31:02RuPaul, my mama, my queen.
31:04On season five, you told us that we get to choose our families.
31:07And I've always wanted to ask you, why the hell did you choose Michelle?
31:12You always talk to us about your inner saboteur.
31:15But I want to take a moment to highlight your outer saboteur.
31:18Gravity.
31:20I love you so much.
31:22I have so much respect for you, Ru.
31:23Because I just know how hard it's been for you.
31:27Remembering our names.
31:30I'm Roxy!
31:32The wig reveal one!
31:34Oh, yes!
31:36Thank you guys so much.
31:39I had such a good time.
31:41I'm Roxy!
31:42I'm Roxy!
31:43Make some noise for Miss Mandi!
31:47I love you guys!
31:56Thank you!
31:57Thank you!
31:58Thank you!
31:58Thank you!
32:00I'm going to go ahead and let y'all know now I will be using the N-word.
32:03Ooh!
32:04Yes, the N-word.
32:05I haven't seen a bunch of nobodies in the same room at the same time on this day.
32:10Thank you, RuPaul, for that.
32:12Now, the other N-word I like to use.
32:15Nina.
32:17Nina, it's sad to see you still have a lot of fun.
32:19I'm still dealing with the side effects of COVID.
32:21The bitch got no taste.
32:22Look at Nina!
32:25Wow!
32:26Uh-huh!
32:27You like that one?
32:29Uh-huh!
32:30Georgie's is so little and so cute, after she give her man head, he like to burp her.
32:34Uh-huh!
32:37Uh-huh!
32:39Uh-huh!
32:39Uh-huh!
32:40Uh-huh!
32:40Uh-huh!
32:41Okay, let's get to my good friend, Mick.
32:43Mick looks like, uh, Jeffrey Dahmer out of drag, okay?
32:47Uh, whoopsie-daisy!
32:50While we at it, Roxy.
32:52While Roxy was up here, all I kept thinking about, up, down, up, down.
32:55And I'm not talking about her mood swings.
32:57I'm talking about her weight.
32:58Okay!
33:00This is a roast!
33:04We're not handing our compliments.
33:06We're reading and toasting, okay?
33:07I live!
33:08Let me go ahead and stop, because I'm probably gonna get canceled
33:11more than I'm already done got canceled.
33:13So let's give it up for the next one.
33:15She probably just now realized the jokes I said.
33:17Angie!
33:31Please give a round of applause for the cast of The Haunted Mansion.
33:37Yeah!
33:39Okay, first I wanna thank Miss Vanjie.
33:42I must say, you look absolutely beautiful tonight.
33:45From a distance.
33:48Hey, Michelle!
33:49Hey, Angie!
33:50Yeah, Ro, I see you keep bringing your service animal right here.
33:52Oh!
33:54Don't you bite me, bitch!
33:57We have the fabulous Nina West.
34:00Now, bitch, Nina West is so damn ugly, she went to her proctologist,
34:04and, bitch, he just takes his finger and sticks it in her mouth.
34:11I ain't lying.
34:13I ain't lying.
34:13We have got Mick.
34:15Oh, and while I'm thinking about it, let me thank tonight's sponsor, Old Zimpik.
34:20Now, Miss Roxy Andrews, when I think of your run on season five, I think of that song from Chicago.
34:28How it go?
34:29The name on everybody's lips is gonna be Jinx.
34:35You are so stupid, I love you.
34:38And last, Georges, you are always talking about, girl, I didn't finish school.
34:43Well, if they had a class on sucking dick, you would have been the valedictorian, bitch.
34:52Okay, I hope you vote for me for whatever the fuck all this is.
34:59What, bitch?
35:00Now, I'm gonna go ahead and bring on the next diva.
35:03Ladies and gentlemen, got Mick!
35:05Yeah!
35:06Let's go!
35:09Yeah!
35:17How are we doing tonight, everyone?
35:21I truly have not seen this many gay outcasts together since I was getting gangbanged by the cast of Glee.
35:32And Jerry, you look really scared right now, but do not worry, girl.
35:36I am not gonna stand up here and badmouth you because clearly God already has.
35:42If you don't know anything about me, I'm transgender.
35:44I know, thank you so much.
35:47But I am not the only person in this room that has transitioned.
35:51I was once a girl, and Carson was once relevant.
35:56Chanel, my queen, you are such a seasoned professional.
36:01You are consistently fighting the war on homophobia and subtlety, clearly.
36:08Plastique is here!
36:11You guys, if you didn't know, her resume is insane.
36:15Influencer, dancer, actor, you name it, she's fucked it.
36:21Next up, we have Nina West.
36:23And girl, for real, your run in hairspray was truly the best you could do.
36:31Ladies and gentlemen, Nina West!
36:45Good evening, everyone, and thank you, Gollum, for bringing me to the stage.
36:50Ugh, you know, tonight, it's tough for me to be up here because, you know, I'm the nice queen.
36:54But since mama asked, here we go.
36:58Chanel is here.
36:59Or, as the young drag race fans might call her, who?
37:04You know, Chanel, I want to congratulate you on your comeback to All Stars.
37:08It's pretty amazing because you're so old, I didn't know you could come again at all.
37:14Wow, I can't believe that all came out of me.
37:16Who am I?
37:17I truly am a kind queen, and I couldn't stoop so low and be so awful as those rotted, hateful
37:22twats sitting to my right.
37:24It's true.
37:26They're ugly on the inside, and the out.
37:30And I want to remind you, this is the charity season, which would explain why Georges is here.
37:36Georges has a body that won't quit and a brain that won't start.
37:41She's got two brain cells, and they're fighting for third place.
37:46Think about it, Georges, you'll get there.
37:49Now, Plastique Tierra.
37:51Plastique is so vain, she's even retouched her x-rays.
37:55Oh, God!
37:57Vanjie is like my favorite appliance, a washing machine.
38:01She's full of loads.
38:04Stay kind, everybody.
38:06Thank you so much.
38:10Good job, Nina!
38:12Yay!
38:14Yay!
38:16Yay!
38:17Yay!
38:19Yay!
38:21Yay!
38:23Yay!
38:27Category is Atomic Blonde.
38:29Up first, Chanel.
38:32It's Ruta Lee, starring in Mad Max.
38:37My Atomic Blonde character is kind of a 1950s Marilyn Monroe meets Mad Max post-apocalyptic.
38:44She's a tough bitch.
38:45She's Sheena, queen of the underbrush.
38:47Yeah!
38:50Up next, Georges.
38:52Yes, Georges O'Williams and the Plasmatics.
38:55My Atomic Blonde look is inspired by Miss Tina Turner.
38:58I also want it to look like a bad bitch.
39:00Space Age Warrior.
39:02Oh!
39:03Not only is her pussy on fire, her hands are too!
39:06Can you imagine the knife sharpener that comes to her house?
39:12Plastique tiara.
39:13I thought this country stopped using straws.
39:17I'm a post-apocalyptic, half-car, half-human, one-third bunny.
39:22Straight out of a manga, comic book.
39:25Get into it.
39:27She's got a set of pipes on her.
39:29This look is exhausting.
39:36Roxy Andrews.
39:37Known in these woods as Danielle Boone.
39:40Yes!
39:40My Atomic Blonde look is very warrior princess in the future with like huge saber-toothed tigers and big-ass
39:48booty.
39:49Nice beaver.
39:50Thanks, I just had it stuffed.
39:53She's one of those cougars.
39:54Oh no, a coyote.
39:57Up next, Miss Vangie.
40:00Angie.
40:00Well, hello, doily.
40:03Today, I'm giving futuristic fifth-element Rihanna looking like I probably got a gluck in my cootie cat.
40:11I'm looking good.
40:13Crochet, you stay.
40:14Mm-hmm.
40:17Angeria, Paris, Van Michaels, Zeta, Jones.
40:20I'm giving you some post-apocalyptic couture on this runway.
40:24Mama, it is the end of the world.
40:26But bitch, I'm still gonna be sickening, okay?
40:28She's here to moss your salad.
40:31You know, Dr. Zismore could take care of those spider veins.
40:36Up next, got Mick.
40:39Your microchip is showing.
40:41When I heard Atomic Blonde, I instantly thought, if I was the sexiest woman alive, and it was the future,
40:47and I've been through it all and just battled it out, what would I look like?
40:51And honey, this is it.
40:53Eat your heart out, Jamie Summers.
40:56Take that, Lil' Kim.
40:59Nina West.
41:00Does this skirt make my butt look big?
41:04The inspiration behind my runway look is really like 1950s and comic book heroes.
41:09Also, like, a Super Mario Brothers aesthetic.
41:12I really wanted to be outside the box.
41:17Welcome, queens.
41:19Tonight, I'll name the top two all-stars of the week.
41:22Each will receive a beautiful benefactory speech.
41:27Now it's time for the judges' critiques.
41:29Up first, Chanel.
41:31You know, there was nobody who stunk the room up tonight, which is, I think, a first.
41:35It is a first.
41:36Drag Race Herstory.
41:37Oh, my God.
41:39Chanel, you could tell that your years of hosting paid off in the roast.
41:44You felt so strong and so in control.
41:47And you landed some funny jokes.
41:49The first and the last spots are the hardest.
41:52And you handled that so beautifully.
41:55You're beautiful to boot, so fuck off.
42:00You look so gorgeous.
42:01The combination of the super glamorous drag hair with this doomsday corset look is just really, really well thought out
42:08and well executed.
42:10Up next, Georges.
42:12Sup, bro.
42:13Sup.
42:15I loved your roast.
42:17You did exactly what everyone was asking you to do.
42:20And you just went for it.
42:21And it worked.
42:22Georges, that was so funny.
42:24You have a whole new act.
42:25I think you should call the character Hector.
42:27Okay.
42:28Hector the OG Pleasure.
42:30Oh.
42:32Georges, I was so proud of you.
42:34Thank you, Michelle.
42:35You're welcome.
42:36This runway look, I love it.
42:37It's like if there was a unicorn in the cast of Starlight Express, it would be you.
42:41Very bad.
42:42I'm going to borrow it along with Chanel's hair for my date tomorrow night.
42:46Yes.
42:46See if I can prick him.
42:48I live.
42:49Up next, Plastique Tiara.
42:52This look, it is like a Playboy bunny in the Batmobile had a baby.
42:56Ooh.
42:56And it's very runway.
42:58It's very fashion.
42:59I hate white makeup, white eyeliner, white eyeshadow, and white lashes.
43:05And this is so amazing.
43:07Thanks.
43:08The demented, apocalyptic bunny.
43:10It's just so plastic.
43:11You went for the roast, and you really roasted.
43:14You put Scientology in its proper place.
43:17In my vagina.
43:20Brilliant.
43:21Thank you so much.
43:22Up next, Roxy Andrews.
43:25This look, I mean, I love hairy arms.
43:27It's just one of my fetishes.
43:29It's glamour.
43:30It's very on brand for you.
43:32It's sexy.
43:33It's very prances with wolves.
43:37What worked so beautifully for me in your roast is that when you walked out on stage,
43:42it was your room.
43:44You took command.
43:45I'm very proud of you, because this has been your Achilles heel in this competition.
43:50And you turned it out.
43:52Up next, Miss Vanjie.
43:54Let's start with this look tonight, Vanjie, because it's so beautiful.
43:57It's just fresh and new and new for you.
44:00And I love the risks that you're taking.
44:03In the roast, you got some great jokes.
44:05The George's burping joke, incredible.
44:06And never in my life have I seen red hair being tossed to end the punchline better than you've ever
44:13done.
44:15Up next, Angeria.
44:17Well, let's talk about this look.
44:19It has a lot of personality.
44:20And you always bring personality with all of your looks.
44:23Angeria, in our coaching session, you look so kind of defeated.
44:27And we had that little talk.
44:28I really felt like I was losing myself.
44:30And you literally looked at me and said,
44:33Don't lose you.
44:34You got it.
44:35And I took everything you said.
44:37Ruth and I appreciate it so much.
44:38Of course.
44:40Whatever you needed to do, you did it.
44:42I thought it was really, really strong.
44:44So you should be proud of yourself.
44:45You were fantastic tonight.
44:48You were naturally funny.
44:49I'm so proud of you.
44:51Can I borrow that golden white thing too, please?
44:53You sure can.
44:54But I don't have the booty to fill it the way you do.
44:56Nor do I have the tits.
44:58But what the hell.
44:59Oh, she can loan you that too.
45:01Exactly.
45:02Up next, got Mick.
45:04This Michael Schmidt dress is marvelous.
45:08It's so meta.
45:10You are a trans man in drag.
45:12Had top surgery, only to put the surgery back on
45:15and come out here in full femme regalia.
45:17You're always infusing your story and your experiences
45:20into your drag and it comes out as artistry.
45:23Your roast was sharp and clean.
45:26Well, maybe not so clean.
45:28But that made it great fun.
45:30And you had some fun jokes.
45:32It's just you seemed more reserved before I've seen you
45:35come out and like lay it all on the line.
45:37You're holding back, but I always love to see you because
45:40you're funny and you get it.
45:43Up next, Nina West.
45:46Tonight, this is super fun.
45:48I really enjoy you and I love what you bring to this competition.
45:51The skirt's giving me a little minions whimsicality.
45:54But I also think it's elevated.
45:56You had the toughest spot to fill.
45:59I think you could read the phone book and you would fill the spot.
46:04Because no matter what you do, it's great.
46:07You are so professional and so prepared and you had some very good jokes.
46:11The only thing is that you're so prepared.
46:14Don't be afraid to sometimes go off script.
46:16Yeah.
46:16But great runway, great roast.
46:19Thank you, All Stars.
46:20I think we've heard enough.
46:21While you enjoy delicious House of Love cocktails and mocktails,
46:25the judges and I will deliberate.
46:28You may leave the stage.
46:30Now, just between us squirrel friends, what do you think?
46:33We need to choose the top two All Stars of the week.
46:37Our little Georges became a man tonight, right in front of our eyes.
46:40I found Georges to be fearless and I saluted her.
46:45Yes.
46:45Georges listened to the critiques and applied it to this challenge and it worked.
46:50And then Plastique was one of the funniest tonight and I did not see that coming.
46:54Her jokes were friggin' funny.
46:55I agree.
46:56Great night for Plastique.
46:57And who knew she could be as funny as she was.
47:01Yeah.
47:02Roxy, I thought this was a good night for her.
47:04I loved, loved, loved her roast look.
47:06I know that she was nervous going into this,
47:08but she had some really good zingers in there.
47:10She rose to the occasion and she broke the curse.
47:14She, to me, is a star queen no matter what.
47:17I adore Chanel.
47:19Strong stage presence, strong delivery, and beautiful to boot.
47:24She's a worker.
47:25She's efficient at being a host and she did a fantastic job.
47:28Anteria, I'm gonna say that she was the total package in the roast.
47:31She had the timing, she had the material, it was tight, it was edited, it was funny, it worked.
47:35Yeah, she was outstanding.
47:37I thought she was so full of control.
47:39She had zinger after zinger after zinger.
47:41I just adored Michelle's being Rue's service animal.
47:46Yeah, yeah.
47:48But on the runway, this wasn't like the greatest runway look of the night, but it is different for Anteria.
47:54Silence!
47:55I've made my decision.
47:57Oh, I'm scared.
47:57Bring back my all-stars.
48:06Welcome back all-stars.
48:08Based on your drag convention roast and your Atomic Blonde runway presentations.
48:14I've made some decisions.
48:16The top two all-stars of the week are...
48:24Angeria.
48:25Oh!
48:26And...
48:27Pastique.
48:29What?
48:30We're handing it!
48:32Thank you so much.
48:35Condragulations.
48:36You've each earned a beautiful benefatrice badge.
48:40And you are both one step closer to winning the $200,000 grand prize for your charity.
48:51Mwah.
48:53Mwah.
48:54Give me the one two, one two, one two.
48:55Two all-stars stand before me.
48:59Ladies, this is your chance to impress me, win $10,000 for your charity, and earn the power to cut
49:08off one of your fellow queens from receiving a beautiful benefatrice badge next week.
49:15The time has come for you to lip-sync for your charity.
49:25Good luck, and don't fuck it up.
49:42We're all out.
49:47We're all out.
49:58Woo у!
50:00I hate
50:02Wanna be my lover
50:03I hate
50:04Wanna be my lover
50:06I must confess
50:12Girl, I'm gonna take a check
50:14Roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll
50:15I'm gonna dance, gonna get down, move tight
50:17I'll never let you down
50:18I love it, I love it, I love it
50:21Love you, love you, love you, love you
50:23I love you, love you, love you
50:25I hear what you said, I see what you do
50:28I love you
50:29Come on, Angie
50:32And I want you to know that it's coming
50:34You wanna be my lover
50:38Aww, hey, hey
50:40Wanna be my lover
50:42Aww, hey, hey
50:45I need a lover
50:45Girl!
50:50No!
50:52No!
50:54No!
50:56Oh, Lordy, Lordy.
51:00That was a good one.
51:02All-stars.
51:03Wow.
51:04I've made my decision.
51:13Anteria, congratulations.
51:16You're a winner, baby.
51:22You've won a cash tip of $10,000 for your charity,
51:27the National Black Justice Coalition.
51:29Good work.
51:31Go off, bitch.
51:33Plastique, you are free to slay another day.
51:37You may step to the back of the stage.
51:39Thank you, judges.
51:43Queens, please join Anteria on stage.
51:51Anteria, with great power comes great responsibility.
51:56Using the ruby snippers,
51:59which of your fellow queens will you cut off
52:03from receiving a beautiful benefatricist badge next week?
52:09Anteria, which sister will you scissor?
52:16Oh, girl.
52:17Honey, I'm over here just stressed out
52:18because I don't know what the fuck to do in this moment, bitch.
52:21Love you, girl.
52:23I bet you do love me.
52:26Mm-hmm.
52:27Oh, shit.
52:29Jesus Christ.
52:31I'm worried about the aftermath, right?
52:34Revenge is a cold bitch.
52:39I'm worried about after I cut somebody.
52:42Are they gonna hate me?
52:43Are they gonna be upset?
52:44Are they gonna cut my lace fronts?
52:46Like, girl, I'm feeling all of the pressure on my shoulders, bitch.
52:49Well, maybe we shouldn't do that.
52:50Oh!
52:51Um.
52:53Okay, can you give me one second to pray about it?
52:55You can pray, but don't block Mommy's camera.
52:57Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.
52:58Bitch, I'm stalling.
53:01The Lord hath spoketh
53:04all those times they gave you those snippers.
53:07They did.
53:08This is your turn to giveth the snippers awayeth.
53:12I know, Lord.
53:13I know, Lord.
53:15Okay.
53:16Either way,
53:17this is gonna come back to bite me.
53:23Snip, snip, bitch.
53:28Bitch, again, I'm over it.
53:30She better know.
53:32The doll doesn't forget.
53:32She turned to 40, but she ain't got dementia yet.
53:35All right.
53:36Well, it took a long time to get here,
53:38but we have arrived.
53:40Thank the Lord.
53:41Amen.
53:42Roxy, next week you can compete and even win,
53:46but Angeria has cut you off
53:49from earning a beautiful benefactricism badge.
53:55Condragulations, all-stars.
53:57Now, remember,
53:57if you can't love yourself,
53:59how in the hell you're gonna love somebody else?
54:00Can I get an amen up in here?
54:02Amen.
54:02All right.
54:03Now, let the music play.