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Desperate Housewives Season 3 Episode 16
Transcript
00:01Previously on Desperate Housewives,
00:03Mike's plan to propose to Susan...
00:06These things don't belong to Jane.
00:07Mike Delfino.
00:09...was a surprise to Ian.
00:11Monique was murdered.
00:13There's been an accident.
00:14And Orson...
00:15Don't forget your ranch.
00:16...passed the blame.
00:18A connection was made.
00:21Ahem!
00:22A heart was broken,
00:24and Bree buried her husband, Rex.
00:36My name is Rex Vandykamp.
00:39I always hated cemeteries when I was alive.
00:42Now that I'm dead, I like them even less.
00:48Here's where I used to live.
00:49A whole lot nicer, don't you think?
00:53The place hasn't changed much since I left.
00:55As tasteful and tidy as ever.
00:58Everything perfect.
01:00At least, on the surface.
01:01My family was the same way.
01:05Look at us.
01:06You'd never guess how ticked off we all were the day this was taken.
01:09But that was the thing about us Vandykamps.
01:12To really fit in, you had to have a smile that gave away nothing.
01:19Like my son Andrew.
01:20To look at him, you'd never know he spent six months on the streets, supporting himself with hand-handling and
01:26light prostitution.
01:28Or my daughter, Danielle.
01:30Does she look like the kind of girl who'd seduce her middle-aged history teacher?
01:35I mean, they're my kids, and I love them.
01:37But I'm pretty darn relieved to be dead.
01:42Here's the clown Brie replaced me with.
01:45Orson.
01:47I don't mind saying he's creeped me out right from the get-go.
01:54To me, he always has the shifty look of a guy who knows where the bodies are buried.
02:00And he should know.
02:02He buried them.
02:04But Brie thinks he's Sir Galahad.
02:07The kids like him.
02:10And all my friends, now his friends.
02:15So it pleases me to know that at least one of my old neighbors sees right through the guy.
02:22Mike, you just missed Brie.
02:25She's off to see your folks.
02:26And we're finally taking our honeymoon.
02:29Not a bad time for you to leave town, is it?
02:32Well, I don't follow you.
02:34I just keep thinking about that night at Monique's place.
02:37How you made sure I left with my wrench.
02:40The one with her blood on it.
02:42Well, it was your wrench.
02:45Why are you rehashing this?
02:47My ex-wife confessed in her suicide note.
02:49The case is closed.
02:51Maybe it shouldn't be.
02:54What do you think the police would say?
02:56If they knew you were there that night.
02:58What do you think they'd say if they knew you threw me off a roof?
03:04Oh, Mike.
03:05Mike, we could make so much trouble for each other.
03:09Or we can forget what we think we know and be good neighbors.
03:15Your call.
03:20No.
03:21Orson Hodge isn't exactly the guy I'd have picked to head my family.
03:24But I'll give him one thing.
03:28He's got the smile down cold.
03:30Oh, my God.
04:14Take a drive down any street in suburbia.
04:17Know what you're going to see?
04:20Desperate women.
04:22That's right.
04:23One unhappy housewife after another.
04:27Each completely miserable in her own unique way.
04:34But I don't want to talk about them.
04:36No, I want to talk about their men.
04:39And what happens to a guy when that special lady in his life starts to lose it?
04:46Like my friend Carlos.
04:48He used to have it all.
04:50Hot wife, tons of dough, then bam.
04:55She gets a divorce and he gets stuck with the bill.
04:58But does he sit around and complain like your average housefrau?
05:02No, sir.
05:04He finds creative ways to get what you can out of life.
05:12Hey, bro, where are you off to?
05:14Oh, the hospital call.
05:15They found the stuff I had on me the night of the accident.
05:17Wow.
05:19Coma, murder rap, you've had a tough year, buddy.
05:21You know what you need?
05:22Some pampering.
05:24Tomorrow you're checking into a nice hotel.
05:26Room service, jacuzzi, my treat.
05:28You're trying to get me out of the house.
05:30Mike, why would I?
05:32Okay, there's this girl.
05:33I knew it.
05:34Dude, she's a dancer.
05:36And if her online profile is any indication, she's a complete freak.
05:40We're talking serious daddy issues.
05:41Look, I'll stay in my room.
05:43You'll never hear me.
05:44Yeah, but you'll hear me.
05:45I'm kind of exuberant by nature.
05:47And when I haven't had it in a while, I kind of do the shrieking thing that I mean...
05:50Oh, okay, all right.
05:51I'll go.
05:52Just stop talking.
05:53Thanks, pal.
05:54I wouldn't want it to put a weird spin on our friendship.
05:56Too late.
06:00This is my friend Tom.
06:02Have you heard what he's been up to lately?
06:06The silly bastard opened up his own pizza place.
06:09He thought that if he was his own boss, he could sleep in as late as he wanted.
06:15But the problem with that logic is that married guys...
06:18Hey, it's after nine.
06:20Come on, Thomasina, it's time to get up.
06:22...are never their own boss.
06:25Are you as tired as I am?
06:27More, but I'm tougher and I complain less.
06:31Not when you give birth.
06:32You do that a lot.
06:33Yeah?
06:35Ow.
06:35Before I forget, you got a call from Shea New confirming your reservation for our anniversary.
06:42You heard that?
06:43I wanted that to be a surprise.
06:44Well, we've been going there for the last seven years.
06:47It's not exactly a surprise.
06:49Anyway, I hope you don't mind, but I canceled.
06:56Canceled?
06:56Why?
06:57Honestly, I just don't feel up to going out this year.
07:01But it's our anniversary.
07:02It's our ninth anniversary.
07:03Come on, the big nine.
07:05That's a year longer than my mom said we would be married.
07:08Come on, we've got to party down.
07:11Oh, I'm exhausted.
07:15Honestly, all I want to do is pawn the kids off on somebody else, take a long bath, and be
07:20in bed by eight.
07:23Okay.
07:25Thank you, thank you.
07:30Hold it.
07:32What about my sex?
07:34I always get sex on our anniversary.
07:36We can still have sex.
07:37Just try not to wake me.
07:44This is Ian.
07:46Don't really know the guy, but Susan Meyer seems to like him.
07:51The other night, he surprised her with a proposal.
07:54She said yes, but he's still a little skittish about the competition.
08:00But Ian knows that if love is war...
08:03Hey, where were you off to so early this morning?
08:05...sometimes you've got to bring out the big artillery.
08:11I should have had it when I proposed.
08:13It's not very good form, I know.
08:16Ian, oh, you can't be serious.
08:19Oh, that's just too much.
08:21It's huge.
08:22Well, we could grow smaller.
08:24Oh, no, no one's saying smaller.
08:25No, that's crazy talk.
08:31Rock me.
08:36Oh, oh, my God.
08:37Oh, it's so beautiful.
08:40Oh, oh, oh, okay, okay.
08:42Nobody move.
08:47Oh, I got it.
08:48I knew I should have measured your finger.
08:49No, it's okay.
08:50I can get it resized.
08:52You should go to the jeweler's right now, and when you get back, we can go and look at some
08:55places for the reception.
08:57Reception?
08:57Yes, I was hoping we could pull this together for next month.
09:01What's the rush?
09:02Am I pregnant?
09:03Of course not.
09:04I just can't wait to be married to you.
09:07Are you sure?
09:08She seemed a little anxious.
09:10Yeah.
09:10What would I have to be anxious about?
09:18Again, sorry for the mix-up.
09:19If you could just sign right here.
09:21I don't remember this.
09:23You sure that's mine?
09:24It was on you the night you were admitted.
09:26I got hit by a car.
09:27I don't remember anything about that night.
09:30Well, it looks like you were going to propose to someone.
09:35Susan, be mine forever, Mike.
09:40Does that ring a bell?
09:46Sure does.
09:52Hey, Carlos.
09:56I have a little visitor that I thought you might get a kick out of seeing.
10:00Remember my little boy?
10:03Hey, drivers.
10:04How you doing?
10:05Put it there.
10:06I'm Carlos Solis.
10:07I think you came by my house one time trick-or-treating.
10:09I remember.
10:10You gave me a protein bar.
10:13Right.
10:14Sorry.
10:15My wife forgot to buy candy.
10:18Hey, is that football I hear?
10:20Go on, check it out.
10:23I didn't know your son was coming for a visit.
10:25Neither did I.
10:32His father just dumped him here for four weeks.
10:34So he could jet off with his Doctors Without Borders buddies and fix cleft palates in Kenya.
10:40That silver son of a bitch.
10:42Oh, come on.
10:42I mean, you barely even see him.
10:43It'll be fun.
10:44A chance to bond.
10:45Yeah, that's true.
10:47But, um, I have this major party tonight, and I was wondering if maybe you could just keep an eye
10:53on him for a few hours.
10:55Sorry, I can't tonight.
10:56Oh, come on.
10:58You love kids.
10:59Didn't you rent that Chinese chick so that you could have one of your lunch?
11:02I have a date, too.
11:03With the chick so on, I had to turn off the smoke alarms in my house.
11:07Fine.
11:09Travers, come on.
11:10Let's go.
11:11Well, this isn't a child-friendly house.
11:19Bye, Travers.
11:32Wow, she's a locker.
11:34I'll say.
11:37Hey, what time's that fundraiser?
11:39You got an hour?
11:41Well, then, let's have a little fun.
11:57Look what you did!
11:59Don't yell at me.
11:59I'm just a passenger.
12:01Well, your driver's an idiot!
12:02Hey, it's not Clyde's fault.
12:04What man wouldn't be distracted by such beauty?
12:07Now you're hitting on me?
12:10I was talking about the car.
12:13Well, good.
12:13I'm glad you like it, because you're going to pay to fix this.
12:16Of course.
12:17Five thousand covered?
12:19Five.
12:21Well, sure, I guess.
12:23I'd rather not file an insurance claim.
12:25My opponent could find out and try to make me look bad.
12:28Opponent?
12:29Oh, well, I guess you don't read the papers.
12:30I'm running for mayor.
12:32My name's Victor Lang.
12:33And I hope I can count on your vote.
12:36I think I'd rather vote for the other guy.
12:38You know, the one who didn't wreck my car.
12:47You were off your game.
12:49You didn't even get a phone number.
12:50Oh, don't worry.
12:51I'll be seeing her again.
12:52How can you be so sure?
12:54I didn't sign the check.
13:08What the hell are you doing?
13:10We need to talk.
13:11No, we don't.
13:11Get out.
13:12Please, you won't return my call.
13:13Well, I've been busy.
13:14Plus, my mom caught you naked on top of my friend.
13:19Just read this.
13:20And if you still don't want to talk to me,
13:22then I'll never bother you again.
13:25Fine.
13:25I'll read it.
13:26But only if you get out of the car right now.
13:28Now, but the hot wax is starting.
13:30I know.
13:31Tick-tock.
13:32Yeah.
13:37Ah!
13:45You're still in there?
13:46How long does it take to pluck that unibrow?
13:48Leave me alone.
13:50Danielle, I have to be at work in 10 minutes.
13:52Now, can I please just come in and brush my teeth?
13:55I'm having a really bad day, all right?
13:57Just go away.
13:59I'm going to have a really bad day, too.
14:01I tend not to get tipped when my breath stinks.
14:05I'm pregnant.
14:20Mike, what are you doing here?
14:22Oh, hey.
14:22Um, I'm just selling some old jewelry.
14:26I spoke to my manager.
14:27There's going to be a charge to remove the inscription,
14:30but we can refund you for the engagement ring.
14:33That'll be fine.
14:37Was that the ring that you bought for her?
14:39Yeah.
14:41Can I help you?
14:43Uh, yeah.
14:45I, uh, have to get this size.
14:46It's a little loose.
14:47Do you know your size?
14:49No.
14:52Congratulations, by the way.
14:53Ian seems great.
14:56Thanks.
14:57I can't find my sizer.
15:00Um, here.
15:02Try this one.
15:03Oh, no.
15:06How's that fit?
15:14It's perfect.
15:16Great.
15:23Can I have it back now?
15:25Oh.
15:26Oh, sorry.
15:29Sorry.
15:40Hey, you've got a cousin in the limo business, don't you?
15:43Actually, I've got a cousin in the limo as a front for prostitution business.
15:48He's in jail.
15:49Why do you ask?
15:49Oh, I'm, uh, I'm just planning a big thing for my anniversary.
15:53Aren't you just going to go to Shea Boring like you do every year?
15:55No.
15:57Lynette's so over that, she was ready to bag the whole night, so got me thinking.
16:02For nine years, time to shake things out.
16:05Now I'm planning the greatest anniversary of all time.
16:11Check this out.
16:13Lynette's going to open the door to find a limo driver with a dozen roses and a card.
16:17The card is going to tell her to go with the guy, not ask any questions.
16:22He'll drive her out to the country.
16:24He'll drop her off, then drive away.
16:28Just as she is starting to freak out, I show up in a horse-drawn carriage.
16:34Which takes us up to Whitman's Bluff, where we eat a catered dinner, listen to a professional
16:39violinist.
16:42Afterwards, when we come home, I'm sure Lynette will think of a way to thank me.
16:48You're one romantic son of a bitch.
16:51Ho, ho, ho, I have my moments.
16:54Of course, I'm not questioning Mayor Johnson's family values.
16:57I'm sure they're what prompted him to put his sister, his brother-in-law, and six of his
17:00cousins on the city payroll.
17:06Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to cut this interview short.
17:09I have some very important business to attend to.
17:13Miss Solis, what a nice surprise.
17:16Are you here to make a contribution to my campaign?
17:19Not exactly.
17:21Oh, no.
17:22Did I forget to...
17:24I'm so sorry.
17:26Let me make it up to you.
17:28I'll take you to dinner.
17:29My treat.
17:30It would be your treat.
17:31I'm a hot date.
17:33What's in it for me?
17:35Well, I have an ingratiating wit, trustworthy smile,
17:39according to the Plainview Herald.
17:41Yeah, check, please.
17:46My family also owns Lang Enterprises.
17:50Dad's worth a few hundred mil.
17:57Well, the girl's got to eat.
18:01Great.
18:02I'll take us to Kuchina.
18:04There's no place harder to get into.
18:06That's what you think.
18:11Mike, this is completely unnecessary.
18:14My paying for your lawyer was a favor.
18:16It wasn't a loan.
18:17I appreciate it, but I just don't like to owe anybody.
18:19Well, I just don't want you to have any trouble getting back on your feet.
18:23No, it's fine.
18:24I had a windfall.
18:26The hospital gave me back an engagement ring I didn't even know I had.
18:29Oh, really?
18:30So you sold it?
18:31You should have kept it till the right girl comes along.
18:34Well, I couldn't give this ring to just anyone.
18:38Oh, right.
18:39The, um, the inscription.
18:45How do you know it was inscribed?
18:47Well, isn't that the custom?
18:49I just assumed it was.
18:53Well, uh, listen, I've got to get some fresh rags.
18:56Uh, thanks for the check.
18:57I'll see you around.
19:03Oh, you can count on it.
19:06Are you sure?
19:07Yes.
19:08I peed on five different sticks.
19:11Would you put that burrito away?
19:12It's making me nauseous.
19:14Join the club.
19:15Look, I know your parents are religious, but I know this clinic.
19:18Absolutely not.
19:19So what other choice do we have?
19:21Well, gee, you could, like, uh, marry me.
19:23Marry you?
19:24I can't stand you.
19:26Oh, nice way to talk to the mother of your child.
19:29Oh, God.
19:31Back to him.
19:36Hey.
19:38Julie.
19:38Hi.
19:39Uh, hey.
19:40Your door was open.
19:42Can I come in?
19:42Uh, what are you doing here?
19:45I read your letter.
19:49I had no idea it would be so sweet.
19:52I could really tell it came from your heart.
19:56I'm embarrassed to admit I cried.
20:02Hey, ma'am, my auntie sort of tied one on last night.
20:06Oh.
20:08Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is, okay.
20:13Okay.
20:15We can try again.
20:17Julie, that's great.
20:18And I want to talk about this, but I just kind of need to take care of my aunt.
20:22Can I call you tomorrow?
20:24Sure.
20:26Oh, we're going to have to take things slow, because it'll be a while before I can trust
20:31you again.
20:33Whoa!
20:34I understand.
20:42Thank you, Bruno.
20:43The view was excellent.
20:44Do you like dessert?
20:45No, thank you.
20:46I'm stuffed.
20:46Then let me propose a toast to a delightful evening and to the happy accident that brought
20:52us together.
20:54Victor, you are so full of crap.
20:57What?
20:58There was no accident.
20:59I know you told your chauffeur to ram my car.
21:02Why would I do that?
21:04For the same reason you forgot to sign the check.
21:07You've been working me since the second we met, and I've been on to you every step of
21:10the way.
21:13What?
21:14What's so funny?
21:15I just called you a manipulative jerk.
21:17I think I underestimated you.
21:20I also think this relationship just got a lot more interesting.
21:24There is no relationship.
21:25This is our last date.
21:27You didn't have any fun.
21:29It was okay.
21:30Now you told a few good jokes, you're sort of charming, you're not bad looking.
21:35I just think I can do better.
21:37Have you not noticed?
21:38I'm a catch.
21:39I have noticed, and I'm throwing your back.
21:44Gabby, let me tell you something.
21:46Gabby, for my whole life, whenever I've truly wanted something, I've always gotten it.
21:52And tonight, right around the time you were calling me a manipulative jerk, I decided I
21:57truly want you.
22:01So brace yourself.
22:03The chase is on.
22:05You can chase me all you want, but trust me, I'm way too fast for you.
22:12I'm way too fast for you.
22:17Bruno?
22:20I'm going to marry that girl.
22:27Can I just say something?
22:28You are way hotter than your online profile.
22:29So many guys say that.
22:42What's wrong?
22:43My friend's kid is out there.
22:49Hey, I got an idea.
22:51Let's go upstairs.
23:03I should warn you.
23:05My therapist says I'm sexually compulsive.
23:09This could take hours.
23:12Whatever your issues are, we will work them out together.
23:23What is he doing out there by himself?
23:25I'm sure his folks know he's out there.
23:30Now relax.
23:42I'm so sorry.
23:43I will be right back.
23:44I promise.
23:48Hey, Travers, what are you doing out here?
23:50Where's your mom?
23:51She had to go visit a sick friend.
23:59Yeah.
24:01No way.
24:02I didn't come over here to babysit some little brat.
24:04She can hear you.
24:06I don't care.
24:08Look, his mother is bound to be home soon, all right?
24:12Then we can pick up where we left off.
24:14Forget it.
24:15I'm officially no longer in the mood.
24:29Sorry, I ruined your date.
24:32That's okay.
24:34She was a very bad lady who wanted to do very, very bad things to me.
24:42Bye, Raul.
25:02Where the hell have you been?
25:03Oh, I, uh, ducked out just for an hour.
25:08That's funny, because I found Travers wandering the streets three hours ago.
25:11Look, he was fine when I left.
25:13I just didn't like to go outside.
25:15Yeah, you never know what an eight-year-old's going to do.
25:16That's why you supervise him.
25:19Hey, you don't get to judge me.
25:21You don't have a kid.
25:22Well, if I did, I'd treat him a hell of a lot better than you do.
25:26Thank God he lives with his father.
25:27I mean, come on, what kind of mother are you?
25:34If you are done lecturing me, I would like my son now.
25:38He's asleep.
25:40Come and get him in the morning.
25:43When you're sober.
25:56Hey, buddy.
25:57Your mom's here for you.
26:01I know you think I'm a terrible person.
26:04I never said that.
26:07Terrible mother, terrible person, it's the same thing.
26:11Because no matter what else she does, if a woman isn't a good mother, she's a failure, right?
26:23Look, um, when I had Travers, I, uh, I knew I was in over my head.
26:30And when Charles and I split, I, I gave him custody.
26:37Because I wanted my son to have the best life possible.
26:43And that doesn't make me a good mother, but I like to think it makes me a realistic one.
26:54Hey, Mom.
26:56Hey, champ.
26:58I miss you.
26:59Oh, I missed you, too.
27:02Guess what?
27:03I've got so many fun things for you to do today.
27:06Cool.
27:07Yeah.
27:08Thanks for the ice, Reno.
27:09My pleasure.
27:10I'll see you, little man.
27:12Hey.
27:15Travers said he's, uh, staying at least a month.
27:18Yeah.
27:20So if you ever need a babysitter, just yell.
27:26I appreciate that.
27:32Hey.
27:32Wait for me.
27:34Wait for me.
27:34No, I don't want a viola player.
27:36Ask for a violinist.
27:37I don't even know what a viola is.
27:40Oh, it's such a big violin.
27:42Okay.
27:43Yeah, sure.
27:43Okay.
27:44I'll see you at eight.
27:46What was that?
27:49It's just a little surprise, okay?
27:52Let it go.
27:53Let it go.
27:54That's cute.
27:55Start talking.
27:57I planned a little something for our anniversary.
28:00That is all I'm going to say.
28:03Okay.
28:04Okay.
28:05Okay.
28:06If we're doing this, I need to buy you something.
28:08What do you want?
28:09You don't have to buy me anything.
28:11Well, you didn't have to plan anything, but you did, even though we had an agreement.
28:14You like ties?
28:15You're getting a tie.
28:16What are you getting so upset about?
28:18I have been dragging my ass all day, and the only thought that's kept me going is the
28:22hot bath, and now I have to do my hair and shave my legs.
28:27So what do you want to do, Lynette?
28:28Just tell me what you want.
28:30I told you what I want.
28:32Hot bath, bed early, but you chose not to listen.
28:37Well, okay.
28:38I guess I can just cancel the whole thing.
28:39You can have your dream evening alone, and I'll get up a poker game or something.
28:46Hey, you know what?
28:48I've been dragging my ass all day, too, and you know what got me through it?
28:51The idea of doing something special with you.
28:56Happy anniversary.
29:04All right.
29:04I'm off to join your mother.
29:06The hotel number's on the fridge.
29:08In case there's a problem, Bree set her cell phone.
29:09Isn't getting good reception.
29:11Uh, actually, we kind of already have a problem.
29:15Well, I'm already late for my flight.
29:16Can this wait a few weeks till we're back?
29:19Yeah.
29:19It's a good wait a few weeks.
29:21Oh, good.
29:21I mean, heck, this particular problem could wait nine months.
29:29Good work.
29:33How's your bath?
29:34Oh, I couldn't relax.
29:35I just kept replaying the fight I had with Tom in my head.
29:38Well, at least your husband tries to be romantic.
29:42Every anniversary, Gilbert bought me an appliance.
29:44On the last one, he gave me a vacuum cleaner.
29:47He died two weeks later.
29:49I didn't cry.
29:51Wow.
29:54Who could that be?
29:56Here.
30:00All right, here's what we're thinking.
30:02Clearly, the idea of the two of you getting married is ridiculous.
30:07So, what do you want me to do?
30:08Glad you asked.
30:11Bree and I have decided that Danielle will join us on our honeymoon.
30:15When we return, we'll tell our friends she's decided to study abroad.
30:19Once the baby is born and adopted by a suitable family, she'll come home.
30:26What about me?
30:28You leave.
30:29Leave?
30:30Get out of Fairview and don't tell a soul why.
30:33Not even your aunt.
30:34I can't do that.
30:35Why not?
30:35Because I've got responsibilities here.
30:37People are counting on me.
30:38Yeah.
30:38Well, you should have thought of that before you impregnated my stepdaughter.
30:41I said I'm not leaving.
30:42Oh, easy there, Turbo.
30:54So, who exactly is counting on you?
30:57Julie Meyer, maybe?
30:58She gave me another chance.
31:00I can't leave if I've still got a shot with her.
31:02And what's going to happen when Julie finds out you knocked up my sister?
31:05Didn't your stepdad just say no one's going to find out about that?
31:09Okay.
31:11Try this.
31:13Julie's a nice girl.
31:15And you...
31:17Well...
31:17You're a dog.
31:23No, knock.
31:25I'm a dog lover myself.
31:28Julie deserves better.
31:31You know you'll just end up cheating on her.
31:33No, I won't hurt her again.
31:36Sure you will.
31:39Not right away.
31:41Maybe she'll hold out for six months.
31:43But then it'll hurt her even more.
31:47Am I wrong?
31:51You'll just have to ask yourself if you can be the kind of guy she needs you to be.
31:57If you can't...
31:59Walk away.
32:11Beer is on the house, guys.
32:14Drink fast.
32:15Get stupid.
32:16Lose money.
32:17Mike!
32:18Hey.
32:19Hey, buddy.
32:21Hey, you know Orson, right?
32:22Oh, yeah.
32:24Hey, neighbor.
32:25Hey, so let's get started, huh?
32:27Five card stud.
32:27Two dollar ante.
32:30Good evening, gentlemen.
32:31Ian!
32:33Hey.
32:34Ian.
32:35Nice to see you, Mike.
32:41What is Fish and Chips doing here?
32:44Susan asked me to include him, said he always wanted to learn how to play poker, so we're
32:47going to give him some very expensive lessons.
32:50Be careful.
32:52He already knows how to bluff.
32:59Hey.
33:01Hey.
33:02How's it going?
33:03Good, good.
33:04Uh, just wanted to tell y'all I have to leave town for a while.
33:09Really?
33:09Is something wrong?
33:11No, no, no.
33:12It's just family stuff.
33:16I don't know exactly when I'll be back.
33:19Could be a while now.
33:24Oh.
33:27Okay.
33:28I just want you to know that it means a lot that you were willing to give me a second
33:32chance.
33:35You're, like, the only person that's ever done that.
33:39Austin, what's going on?
33:42Nothing.
33:43Uh, it's just...
33:46I have to go.
33:50Goodbye, Julie.
33:54Austin!
34:18I'll raise you.
34:25What do you want?
34:26Another courageous move for Foldy Locks.
34:28All right.
34:29What call you?
34:31Flush, King High.
34:35Full house.
34:36Sevens and knaves.
34:37Jacks.
34:38We call them jacks.
34:40Boy, this is your lucky room.
34:43Yes, I heard about your engagement the other night. Congratulations.
34:47Yeah, how about that?
34:48Ian?
34:50Was that proposal spontaneous, or did you have it all planned?
34:54Oh, it was entirely planned. I thought it would be the ideal occasion.
34:58Well, it was planned. Why didn't you have a ring?
35:01Well, I thought Susan might like to choose the ring herself.
35:04Anti-up, boys!
35:06So why'd she pick a ring that was too big for her?
35:11How did you know that?
35:13Guys, guys, guys, guys. We came here to play cards. Why are we talking about jewelry?
35:17Sorry, Tom, but I just found out I bought a ring for Susan myself.
35:21It was in my pocket that night some son of a bitch ran me over.
35:25Tom's right. We should focus on the game.
35:28After our talk, I called the hospital.
35:32They said my ring got in with your wife's stuff, so you saw it before I did.
35:36The same day you proposed to Susan.
35:41And your point is?
35:42That that's why you were in such a big hurry.
35:45You wanted to seal the deal before I found out about the ring.
35:48And told her.
35:50Do you think I'm afraid of you?
35:52Maybe you should be.
35:54What do you think Susan would say if she found out why your proposal was so spontaneous?
36:00Guys, can we just play?
36:02I'm trying.
36:05Fine.
36:05Fine.
36:07Deal.
36:17Hello.
36:18Mrs. Garbo.
36:19It's Lamar from the limo service.
36:21Got a flat, so it might be late picking up you and your wife.
36:25What are you talking about? I canceled you.
36:27No, you didn't.
36:28Yes, I did.
36:29I left you a message.
36:30Oh, I must have missed it.
36:32Anyway, I dropped your wife off right where you told me.
36:35Oh God, when?
36:36About two hours ago.
36:44Guys, um, lock up when you're done.
36:50I'll open.
36:54I'm out.
36:55And I'll raise you.
37:01You want a beer?
37:03Hell, Tom's gone.
37:04Let's go open up the good stuff.
37:10Well, looks like it's just you and me.
37:12If you're still in.
37:16With this end?
37:17You bet I am.
37:21I'll re-raise.
37:29And raise again.
37:34Your stack's looking kind of small.
37:46Will you take a check?
37:48You know I can't match that.
37:51How about this then?
37:54You win, you keep the money and you tell Susan whatever you want.
37:56What?
37:58I win, you keep your mouth shut about the ring.
38:01And you leave me and Susan alone.
38:16Deal.
38:32How was the game?
38:34I won.
38:49Lynette, I am so sorry.
38:51I am so sorry.
38:54You see, there was supposed to be a horse-drawn carriage and...
38:58You're good.
38:59You got the flowers.
39:13Coffee?
39:14Yes, please.
39:18Yeah, she likes coffee too, thanks.
39:23I'm really, really, really sorry.
39:26Please stop apologizing.
39:28I'm sorry.
39:28I appreciate what you were trying to do.
39:30It was a lovely thought that just went hideously, hideously, hideously wrong.
39:37Wait till the kids find out that you saw a real coyote.
39:39Hideously.
39:45I learned my lesson.
39:47Never again.
39:48No more surprises.
39:49For now on, I'll do exactly what you say.
39:55Oh, don't you dare.
40:00What?
40:01I had a lot of time to think tonight.
40:04And I realized you were right.
40:06We have to keep the romance going, no matter how tired we are.
40:12The only thing worse than just going through the motions is not bothering to go through the motions.
40:21So you want me to surprise you next year?
40:25Knock yourself out.
40:27Just wait, because I will think of something even better.
40:30Well, after this year, I would be happy with any date that included food and shelter.
40:49Nine years.
40:55Nine years.
40:58And I have loved every minute of it.
41:03Me too.
41:13Take a drive down any street in suburbia.
41:16Know what you're going to see?
41:19A bunch of guys wearing the same expression.
41:24It's a look that says,
41:26Oh crap.
41:28My dreams are never going to come true.
41:34I'll never have a life free from scandal.
41:40I'll never have a son of my own.
41:44I'll never hold her in my arms again.
41:50I'll never get to tell her how I feel.
41:57Yeah, the suburbs are filled with a lot of men who've given up hope.
42:04Of course, every once in a while you do come across some lucky SOB whose dreams have all come true.
42:12You know how you spot them?
42:15They're the ones who can't stop smiling.
42:20Don't you just hate those guys?
42:24I'm going to go without you.
42:27Let's go.
42:29Let's go.
42:58Transcription by CastingWords
43:03Transcription by CastingWords
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