- 2 days ago
Deli Boys - Season 2 Episode 6 - Manly Boys
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Short filmTranscript
00:09Sorry, Max. It's not me. It's you.
00:15What?
00:15Hey, don't do it.
00:17What are you doing here?
00:18Preventing you from doing something stupid that's going to bring us all down.
00:20Yeah, Matthew called us and told us everything that happened.
00:23Shit. He's gone.
00:25Come on, we gotta go.
00:26Not before I can let me say shit.
00:27Well, figure it out. This is not the way, and you know it.
00:31Oh, God.
00:32Can you guys hear my heartbeat?
00:34I feel electric right now.
00:36Did you do cocoa?
00:37I did a tremendous amount of cocoa, and it's the best I've ever felt in my entire life.
00:39He's having so much fun. I love it.
00:41Let me hold you a gun.
00:42Come on, let's get out of the cocoa.
00:43I got the golf course.
00:45Good for you.
00:45And Aaron died. Roger's name is in the clear.
00:47Where's your dance?
01:05We've got to get the DARS.
01:06I know they have something to do with Saeed Ahmed's death.
01:09Which death?
01:10Huh.
01:11Very funny.
01:12They were supposed to send me somebody from special ops.
01:15I'm calling the chief of police.
01:16I wouldn't do that.
01:17The chief is done with your personal crusade against the DARS.
01:20Why'd they send me?
01:22You get caught in one orgy at a strip club.
01:24Oh, so they're humoring me.
01:25Well, the joke's gonna be on them when we nab the biggest drug lords in town.
01:29Well, we're gonna have to, sir.
01:30We're down in every demographic, especially women.
01:33Some of them even planning to vote for Fuck Me Felon as a write-in candidate.
01:37Oh, the Fuck Me Felon. Fuck me.
01:39I got a flat white.
01:41That's me.
01:41And a warm pretzel slathered in mustard.
01:43Yum.
01:44Hey, do you have tits for brains?
01:46No.
01:47Yes?
01:48Were you going through my files?
01:49Because I found these hairs in my file cabinet.
01:53These are your greasy ringlets.
01:55That must have been from when I was tidying up your desk.
01:57No, you were snooping.
01:59Trust has been broken.
02:01You're fired.
02:02Please, sir.
02:03I beg you.
02:04Do not touch my face.
02:05Please.
02:06Please.
02:07Dino, pull it together.
02:13Fuck.
02:17As I was saying, I'm gonna get the DARS once and for all.
02:20And I know I've said that before, but this time it's different.
02:23This time we have Max Sugar.
02:26Carl, you're fired.
02:27I wanted to say it.
02:29Man.
02:30It's a stand-up career taking off anyway.
02:32I don't need this bullshit.
02:36He does like an evening of characters.
02:42You know, I always had a bad feeling about Max in my gut.
02:45No, you did not.
02:46Hey, let's not fight.
02:47That's exactly what Max would want us to be doing.
02:58Man, I beg you to open your heart just to rip it out.
03:04Oh, the gang's all here.
03:06Aren't you supposed to be able to stop meeting?
03:08The bad news is, I was fired.
03:11What's the good news?
03:12Uh, there is no good news.
03:14There's worse news.
03:15Chadwater fired me before I could learn what he knows about us
03:18or his plans to destroy us
03:19or before I could make any meaningful work relationships.
03:22Fuck!
03:24That was our mess.
03:25Don't throw things.
03:26Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
03:28I failed you, Chief Sox.
03:31What the hell?
03:32Grab me the mercy of death.
03:34Come here.
03:34What the hell is wrong with you?
03:36I does this all the time.
03:37Oh, let go.
03:39God.
03:41Get off of me.
03:42Do you know what this means?
03:43Hmm?
03:43Who knows what Max could have told Chadwater?
03:48God is wrong.
03:49Goblins dream, our future, all secure.
03:52They could come get us at any minute.
03:54Yeah, we're fucked.
03:55They'll know everything about us.
03:56Everything.
03:56We'd have to shut down our entire operation.
04:08What octave is that?
04:11I got it.
04:13We're gonna take Chadwater and Max down.
04:17Oh, God.
04:20With one bullet.
04:22All right, you are never smoking my weed again.
04:27Honey, I'm home.
04:31Lucky!
04:33What a surprise.
04:36Knife play.
04:38All right.
04:39I like it.
04:40What's our safe word?
04:41Chadwater?
04:42Don't love it.
04:43Uh, how about banana?
04:45You can stop this shit.
04:47I know you're working with Chadwater and that you staged a deli robbery.
04:51Panic mode.
04:52Tony?
04:53Tony?
04:54Tony?
04:56No, I told Tony we needed some private time, so he went to Dave and Buster's.
05:02Oh, he's gonna be off the grid for hours.
05:04He's addicted to skeeball.
05:06All right, I arranged the deli thing.
05:08I just wanted your business.
05:09That's it.
05:10I wasn't counting on falling in love, Lucky.
05:13You played me.
05:15No one plays me.
05:17Now tell me what you told Chadwater.
05:19Well, this knife becomes your dildo.
05:22All he knows is my part in it.
05:23That's it.
05:24Just the laundering at the casino.
05:26I didn't want to turn you in.
05:28They made it so that it was between you and Seven.
05:30Seven, you know how I am about Seven.
05:32Seven's got bigger problems than Andrew Chadwater.
05:35Where the fuck is my daughter?
05:37Can we just run over the plan one more time?
05:41We need to use Seven as bait to get her dad to help us sabotage Chadwater.
05:45What don't you get about that?
05:47Yeah, stop overthinking it, Matthew, okay?
05:48And if you need us, we're gonna be right here in the car, you know, somewhere else.
05:53What?
05:54I'm doing this part by myself?
05:56Do you really think it would be better if two brown guys went in that house and captured
05:59a young white woman?
06:00I wouldn't touch this with a 10-foot PR firm.
06:02Think.
06:02Don't question the Chief Sobs.
06:05I'm sorry, man.
06:06We really need you, buddy.
06:07Come on.
06:09Okay.
06:11I will not let you down, Chief Sobs.
06:13Yeah.
06:15I really love you guys.
06:17Hey.
06:18I love you, buddy.
06:20Mm-hmm.
06:22Okay.
06:22Okay.
06:23You got this, Jedediah.
06:26All right, let's get the fuck out of here.
06:27Let's get the fuck out of here.
06:29Honestly, I think he looks better Amish.
06:30Hope he doesn't die.
06:41Top of the evening, Sister Seven.
06:44The name's Jedediah.
06:45Your papa sent me to protect you from any evil afoot.
06:51You know, I'm actually in the middle of a new girl marathon.
06:54Could you wait outside?
06:56Oh, how I wished to have watched television but once in my life.
07:01You're a rebellious little Amish boy, aren't you?
07:04Guess I'm sort of like the bad boy of my village.
07:09You know what?
07:10I really need to pack for France, but you can come in.
07:15Oh.
07:15Yeah.
07:16Come on in.
07:17Thanks.
07:18Would you like the coffee?
07:19What is coffee?
07:21I've only ever had milk from Esther, my cow.
07:25You're sick.
07:27And not in the way I used to like.
07:29Oh.
07:30You want to kill me.
07:33I know you hate me.
07:34I understand.
07:35I am begging you.
07:38Please, please don't hurt her.
07:40She's just a kid.
07:42You follow my instructions.
07:46Or I'll do worse than hurt her.
07:52I didn't have a choice.
07:53Shut up, traitor!
07:55Lucky, I didn't mean for it to turn out this way.
07:58Hey, you want to tell them how you wanted me to abandon them for you?
08:03You said you two were bringing me down.
08:07Pitting us against each other.
08:09Classic divide and conquer move.
08:11Just like the British did with India and Pakistan.
08:13Fuck you.
08:14It wasn't a move.
08:15I just couldn't stand you two.
08:17Us two?
08:18I thought you just hated him and admired my work ethic.
08:20He's doing it again.
08:21Oh!
08:22I can't believe I bought you magazine!
08:24Listen up, Judas Brutus.
08:27Here's the plan.
08:29You're going to invite Chadwater to your office and you're going to say,
08:32I know how you can bust the dars.
08:35And he'll yell some dumb shit like,
08:37Get to it, sugar.
08:38I have anger issues because of my tiny penis.
08:41They drop their dirty money at the casino every week.
08:44You can link it to their drug empire.
08:47Yeah!
08:48Let's go bust drug dealers while banks and corporations ravage the middle class.
08:52And then...
08:53When he finally thinks he has us cornered and he has us win,
08:57that's when we get that arrogant loud mouth.
09:00Oh, we're going to play him like a sitar.
09:04Ding, ding, ding, ding.
09:05Ding, ding, ding, ding.
09:06So you think you could turn a sting to get you arrested
09:11into a sting to get the DA of Philadelphia arrested?
09:17Yeah, we do.
09:18Fuck you!
09:19There's no way that goes wrong.
09:20In the next episode, Winston tries to find a girlfriend for his cat.
09:24Oh, I love it that one.
09:26You told me you've never seen TV before.
09:28I haven't just saying I love the idea of the spirit of what you're talking about
09:34Hey, well, I have an idea you want to see a traditional style Amish dance. No, thank you
09:38It's customary that I show you because we are now friends
09:46Once the Sun rises over the last mountain me thinks it's time for chores a cow
09:54Oh mine cow for my family. A pet will give him milk and once the milk is collected
10:01I know it is time for rest
10:05And the dance is over once Papa has got his oats
10:11You know, I miss the woman I was but I hadn't seen that
10:16She was perfect
10:21Once we see the dars enter with the money we bust in there and we catch him right-handed
10:24You know, this entire operation of yours is nowhere near proper protocol. You got caught having sex with multiple orifices
10:30in a strip club
10:30We do this right. We're both back on top loser
10:40Why don't you guys take off?
10:51It's a lot
10:52Freeze you drug-dealing criminals. You've been caught
10:59This is not the end of our line. No worst nightmare at last the gangs all here
11:05Andrew Chadwater I figured you never catch us putting you scum in jail is just another perfect field goal for
11:12the chadski
11:12Pew thanks for the assist max
11:16What what you're working with max?
11:20No, no, what yeah, you should probably break up with him. He's been a bad boy
11:24Whoa, you know, Chadwater. I didn't think you were this smart at all
11:29Especially since everyone knows you got lucky with the Joey Tomatoes case
11:33You don't know what you're talking about Google Joey Tomatoes
11:36It's too risky to pull a frame job like the one I did on Joey Tomatoes. I told you about
11:40that, right?
11:40Whoa, don't get so aggro
11:42You know, everybody saw the news. We know that the cops found the murder weapon inside the car
11:47We know you didn't do shit. There's absolutely no shame in being a basic bitch who can't get the job
11:52done, right?
11:53Everyone here knows losers like you
11:55I was the mastermind behind putting Joey Tomatoes behind bars for good. I planted the gun in his goddamn car
12:02You framed him? I thought you were the one government dude that wasn't corrupt
12:07I'm not corrupt. The world is corrupt. So if I occasionally need to frame a lowlife to win a case,
12:13I do it
12:14This filthy city needs a hero and I'm he
12:16Excuse me
12:18Yeah
12:19How do I look?
12:20Incredible. What are you doing?
12:22I just want to see how I look on the camera that just caught you admitting to framing someone
12:28Yeah, quick question. I'm just wondering. How does it feel to get fucked by the fuck me felon?
12:34Say hi. You're on the you're my bitch cam
12:38You're bluffing. Oh, no, they're not bluffing. You're a textbook blowhard. You just couldn't help yourself. Could you?
12:45Well, it was painful to watch. You know what?
12:48I think it might be time to call the actual police
12:51I have never said those words in my entire life that that feels good. Yeah, so natural
12:54Wow. Oh, I'm fudged. I'm fudged right in the ashtray
12:58Oh, you people are spicy demons. What the hell was that? That was racially charged
13:04Anyone can be spicy. Well, I think my work is done here, and I believe we are even so I
13:09will see you later
13:10Oh, Max
13:12We're not even and you're not done here
13:16Yeah
13:17You sneaky silver fuck. We're only on part one
13:23I do
13:24If I had to guess
13:26You don't want to spend any time in jail
13:29Do you Andy with this bum? No, I'll be torn apart in minutes
13:34And if I had to guess you wouldn't arrest a drug kingpin to get you elected. Is that right, Andy?
13:40Well, I mean that was the idea, but now I'm back to square one
13:45Well, what if I told you you were standing right in front of Philly's biggest drug lord
13:51I don't understand. Yeah, I'm lost too. Walk with me
13:57Now over here
13:58You will find
14:00Max's pallet of cocaine
14:04Take a look
14:07What the heck
14:08This wasn't part of the plan
14:10Yeah, it is. It's the part that you didn't know about. How does that feel?
14:13Max sugar is the real Johnny King
14:18I'm shocked
14:19This is obviously a setup. I'm not a drug kingpin
14:23Look, we're both intelligent people. I'm a little smarter because I went to Drexel
14:27But between the drugs here in his casino and the dossier
14:31I think you have more than enough to make an arrest
14:33So I arrest him and nobody sees that video?
14:35Shadwater, come on
14:37Jack
14:38What? Me?
14:42We made a deal
14:43To quote you, Max
14:46Loyalty schmoyalty
14:48I'm in
14:49Oh, such a good line
14:52It's quite a handshake
14:56He's got a gun
14:58Get away from my brother
15:00Get that gun down
15:01How about I murder your almost son right here in front of you
15:04No
15:05Give me that tape or he's dead
15:06Get back
15:07Yeah
15:16You betrayed me
15:18You're betraying me right now
15:19You betrayed me first
15:20And the gun
15:23Shit
15:24That's enough
15:25Max sugar, you're under arrest for possession of narcotics
15:29You have the right to remain silent
15:31Anything you say, can and will
15:32Yada, yada, yada
15:33You get it
15:34No one cares
15:34Yes
15:34You played me
15:35We played you first
15:37We both lost
15:39And we played me more
15:40But in the game, we're both losers
15:43And you know it
15:44Given the dignity of having the last word
15:46Thank you
15:47Have fun in jail
15:48Get him out of here
15:51Bye bye
15:54Looks like you might get a conviction after all, Chadwater
15:58Well, I'm not a shoo-in for the election anymore
16:00The F me felon over here really effed my chances of winning
16:04Wow
16:04We got a plan for that, don't we, Raj?
16:07If you promise to stay out of our way
16:08What's up, Billy?
16:10I'm Raj
16:10Most of you might know me as a fuck me felon
16:13But to me, he's the forgive me friend
16:16People can change and become the best versions of themselves
16:19And when they do, I say we should reward you
16:22Thanks, Raj
16:23It's spicy
16:24Not really
16:24And that is why I am officially endorsing Andrew Chadwater as mayor
16:32Say heck no to drugs
16:34Say heck yes to halal
16:43I'm Andrew Chadwater and I approve this message
17:01Oh, how about we go to that place where we had our first kiss?
17:09You know, that was a
17:10Sign the fucking papers, kutte
17:12Okay, okay
17:14Danielle
17:15It's doing better than ever under new ownership
17:19Good
17:20Well
17:23I should go
17:24I guess, you know
17:25I did just come here to gloat
17:27And to see if someone is doing okay in Paris
17:31She wrote and said that her French is going really good
17:36I'm glad she hasn't abandoned you
17:41You would have made a great stepmother
17:43Being an auntie is more than enough for me
17:48Goodbye, Max
17:50We'll meet again
17:52The game's not over
18:19Amazing
18:20Hey, do me one favor
18:21Let's get it under Bahar table in the high rollers area
18:25And go ahead and give them broke bitches a little bit of ludo
18:28No, no, trust me, it's better than blackjack
18:30Listen to me
18:31My brother wants to sell in that market
18:32That's where we're going
18:34Hey
18:35I set a meeting with Mr. Abebi for tomorrow, you good?
18:37Johnny's in Lahore?
18:38Johnny's in fucking Lahore
18:39Fuck yeah
18:40I'll see you tomorrow at our golf course
18:42Wah, wah, wah
18:44Love to see two chief subs running one tight ship
18:49We're just doing what you taught us with slightly less bullying
18:52And I got Chadwater under control
18:53The new clubhouse at the golf course is incredible
18:57It's so sexy
18:58And you know he's just doing that to get married, right?
19:00We all know this
19:00Shipments are running smoothly
19:02We renovated the fuck out of Max's old office
19:04Now you have enough time to finally go on that trip
19:09Thanks, sweetheart
19:10But I'm right here where I want to be
19:13And here, have this
19:15I could tell you he did skip lunch again, so
19:19Give him a sandwich?
19:20You made mine with no peas, okay?
19:21Wrong
19:21You need the fiber
19:22And mine has peas, right?
19:24Alright, this is mostly just peas
19:26Just eat it
19:27Somebody sent you a gift
19:29You have too many gifts, man
19:31What is it?
19:32It's a pie
19:32Take it back
19:33Or, you know what?
19:34You keep it
19:34Oh, thanks
19:36Here
19:37Why are you giving this to me?
19:39I don't know
19:39You're good at reading, I guess
19:41Congrats on your recent success
19:44Now I'm coming for my piece of the pie
19:46Oh, that's funny
19:47From the eldest dar?
19:49Huh?
19:50I'm the eldest dar
19:50Did you do this?
19:54Torega!
19:59Yeah
20:01It's for the city
20:03It's for the city of stars
20:04Together we're taking it far
20:06We let it play out the cart
20:07Look how we leading the charts
20:09You know how Philly get down
20:12Hey
20:12You know how Philly get down
20:16They know we still in the field
20:17They know we still in the deal
20:19But I can play for the fields
20:20They know we do it for real
20:22You know how Philly get down
20:25Yeah
20:25You know how Philly get down
20:51They know we still in the field
20:55They know we still in the field
20:57They know we still in the field
20:58But I can play for the fields
20:59They know we do it for real
21:00You know how Philly get down
21:02They know they're looking for the meget
21:03Who?
21:05They know we still in the field
21:11They know we still in the field
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