00:00Oh
00:07Monkeys doing monkey business
00:10The monkey escaped the zoo and hijacked our monitors. Yes folks i'm talking about black meat hong kong
00:16I mean wukong. I just couldn't pass up the golden opportunity to absolutely roast this action rpg
00:24So let's dive into the chaotic chronicles of this legendary primate
00:30As the game kicks off we see our protagonist a freshly retired government employed monkey from the local municipal zoo
00:38He's standing on a cliff deeply contemplating life's greatest mystery how to actually get his pension money out of the
00:45government's hands
00:49Now look at those absolute units of monsters standing in front of him
00:54Those aren't just bosses. They are the literal metaphorical visualization of corporate buddhocracy taxes and systemic corruption
01:03It's a beautiful high-definition graphical illustration of the everyday struggle against
01:12Our monkey hero steps forward to claim his hard-earned retirement fund. But wait, what's this?
01:18He completely whiffs his jump and falls
01:22But proving all his haters wrong he utilizes a weapon of mass destruction
01:28Activating the tactical thermonuclear payload long dormant in his stomach
01:32Courtesy of a 4 a.m. Taco Bell run
01:36He unleashes a jet propelled fart from his bio exhaust pipe
01:41This allows him to defy gravity hover through the air and cause catastrophic ecological damage to the local flora and
01:49fauna
01:49Via pure unadulterated stench
02:04Well, after suffocating the entire zip code and forcing the local wildlife to throw up
02:10He finally lamps
02:13It is at this exact moment he realizes the sheer size of systemic corruption is much bigger than he anticipated
02:21Suddenly the low-tier corporate minions show up
02:24They've armed themselves with whatever they could steal from their wives kitchen
02:29Especially giant pancake spatulas
02:33And they start flexing on our monkey
02:37But our boy wukong is packing heat
02:39His gut is genetically blessed ultra long magical bow stuff that stays permanently stiff
02:48Relying on the sheer intimidating length of his rod
02:52He challenges the entire room
02:54You serious?
02:55He gives them a final polite warning
02:57Pay me my pension right now
02:59Or I will insert this stuff into a very specific unmentionable location
03:06And permanently shut down your internal plumbing system
03:16Hearing this threat the rabbit mutated dog monster starts barking aggressively
03:23This is a flawless metaphor for the company Karen or the office receptionist
03:28The power-tripping gatekeepers who bark way louder than the actual CEO
03:33This corporate lab dog gestures wildly demanding a bribe in exchange for passing the files
03:39Hearing the word bribe the lab dog's boss the regional manager demon descends from the heavens
03:46He literally throws his heavy metal crotch guard at the monkey
03:54He's a monkey of merit
03:57Lands heavily and demands a massive under the table processing fee to sign off on the pension
04:03Don't do it to me
04:04The monkey calmly replies
04:07Look i will pay the fee but instead of cash i'm going to fold this money up and insert it
04:13as a suppository
04:14Directly into your split rail natural swage line
04:20Unsurprisingly the corrupt manager refuses to take a financial suppository up his rear end and chooses violence
04:36The monkey threatens to report him to human resource and internal affairs
04:40And the battle begins in a toxic foggy arena filled with lingering flatulence
05:03It's an intense sweaty showdown as their massive shafts violently clash against one another
05:09Sparks fly creating literal lighting strikes as they desperately try to assert their toxic masculinity over each other
05:19At this point you might notice something bizarre
05:21The corrupt boss has what looks like a literal ensued port right on his forehead
05:30This makes perfect sense
05:32When a manager's head is entirely filled with absolute garbage
05:36They need a biological bypass valve on their skull to relieve the pressure from their lower half
05:43Afterwards they square up for another round
05:46It's rod on rod action
05:48At one point they hold their sticks directly in front of each other's faces in a highly questionable deeply suggestive
05:55manner
06:00Suddenly the overwhelming forces of the corporate machine gang up on our honest monkey
06:06Realizing he can't beat the system
06:08He activates a cheat code, transforms into a flying bat and tries to coast the situation
06:14But the corrupt boss transforms into a bald eagle and chases him down like a heat-seeking missile
06:25Mid-air, our monkey gets a massive stress-induced migraine
06:29Desperately needing a Tylenol or an Advil
06:33He changes form and dives towards the ground to find the nearest metro
06:43But before he can get his meds, the corrupt boss dives the thick metallic stuff straight into the monkey's lower
06:50abdomen
06:51The crash into the earth triggering a massive cinematic explosion
07:00And so in a heartbreaking twist
07:03Honesty and hard work are brutally crushed by corporate greed and corruption
07:07It's a beautiful tragic metaphor for modern society
07:11It's the biggest piece of dog shit
07:13So if you enjoyed this alternative lore accurate summary of black meat hong kong
07:19I mean wukong
07:20Make sure to smash the like button comment and subscribe
07:24If you don't your migraine will get worse and your internet will lag during your next boss fight
07:32That's all for today. Peace out
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