00:16What's up gamers, today let's find some Wild West vibe and talk about RDR2 protagonist
00:22Arthur the Bandit.
00:24Seeking a quick score, he treks through the mountain, passes to meet his long time partner
00:29in crime, a man who spends way too much time in his horrible den.
00:35This accomplice is a disgraced former city official with a serious hygiene problem.
00:42Having seemingly forgotten the path to the local barber shop, his hair has grown into
00:46a thriving ecosystem for lice.
00:50He has even sworn a solemn vote.
00:53He won't cut his hair until his favorite political party returns to power.
00:59Besides, to keep the birds from leaving unwanted presents on his head, he wears a saucepan
01:06lid as a makeshift helmet.
01:08What?
01:09The saucepan wearing tactician gives Arthur some questionable advice to hijack a wagon tomorrow
01:16morning.
01:17To prepare, they spend the night lubing up their personal hardware, I mean weapons with soy
01:23bean oil to ensure everything slides smoothly during the heist.
01:36As the sun rises, their target appears a heavy wagon rumored to be filled with gold or at least
01:43something shiny.
01:47Arthur and his long-haired friend charge forward on the horses.
01:52Weapons drawn.
01:54Arthur opens fire with his three-inch shotgun, launching a pair of overripe sapodillas at the
02:01guards.
02:02A high-stakes horseback shootout ensues.
02:21However, despite being a self-proclaimed expert, Arthur catches a stray people, trips and faceplans
02:28off his horse.
02:29Mission failed.
02:33Determined, he hits the retry button.
02:35This time, he pulls out a rusty factory-issue pistol and pails the enemies with vitamin C-rich
02:42gooseberries.
02:45This girl's apparently suffering from severe allergies and low immunity.
02:50Collapse instantly.
02:58But just as victory is near, Arthur's horse gets distracted by a mare on the enemy side.
03:06The resulting equine collision sends Arthur flying again.
03:09Mission failed.
03:17One more try, if I fail this time, I am uninstalling.
03:30This time Arthur pulls out his long-range rifle and fires a volley of jackfruit seeds.
03:37The impact is so devastating to the enemy's manhood that they lose the will to live and
03:45depart from this mortal coil.
03:47I'll cut your balls off.
03:49Victory.
03:50The duo claims the wagon.
03:54Suddenly, a group of local jewelers from the city market ambushes them, desperate to
04:00get their hands on the gold.
04:02They cover their face with cloth and open fire, while Arthur engages in a cinematic gunfight
04:16to defend the loot.
04:30They finally unboxed the secret crate, expecting goals.
04:34Instead, they find a stack of government family welfare cards and an Intel Arc A3 series GPU, the one with
04:43the driver support.
04:45Intel Arc A380 was pure garbage.
04:48Arthur's friend is thrilled.
04:51He runs a potato PC and thinks this GPU will finally let him play Red Dead Redemption 2 at a
04:56blistering 10 FPS.
04:58Arthur settles for the welfare cards, hoping for a monthly handout.
05:04Well, the chaos isn't over.
05:06Some local political activists try to snatch the cards to ruin the government's stellar reputation.
05:14Arthur, a pro player, goes prone and starts firing corn kernels at them.
05:19I'm gonna put some dirt in your eye.
05:21These kernels hit their stomachs, instantly pop into popcorn, and the activists die of extreme indigestion.
05:37In the aftermath, Arthur notices a horse that accidentally ate the popcorn.
05:43It enters a coma and starts floating in mid-air, while observers call it a game-breaking glitch.
05:50Arthur insists it's just a hormonal imbalance in the horse.
06:15Arthur returns home with the cards.
06:17Only for his wife to drop a bombshell, the cards are fake.
06:21She threatens to swipe the cards through the canyon of his butt.
06:29If he doesn't get the real ones.
06:32Terrified Arthur heads back to the city hall to file a complaint.
06:36Enjoyed the chaos?
06:38Smash the like button, comment and subscribe for more Arthur's failures.
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