00:07what's up degenerates welcome back to the channel today we are diving into the most
00:12highly anticipated game for the cultured gamer stellar plate or as the broke boys call it the
00:19freshly cracked blessing from the gaming gods so under the noble excuse of gameplay review
00:26let's go check out our gorgeous protagonist i mean for research purpose obviously
00:34we open the scene in earth's orbit where we see a bunch of giant cosmic pumpkins floating around
00:41aimlessly like global warming deniers magic honestly some of these space pumpkins look so
00:48expired and rotten you can almost smell them through the screen suddenly earth decides to
00:57strike back some local chaotic teenagers must have launched leftover fourth of july fireworks
01:04and illegal roman candles into the space because these glowing projectiles start absolutely hammering
01:10the rotten pumpkins next the space pumpkins start giving birth to these weird seed like pods that
01:18come hurtling down to earth meanwhile we get our first glorious glimpse of our protagonist who looks
01:30less like a soldier and more like an instagram model doing influencer charity work wow now we see that
01:39her escape pod gets jammed but luckily a side cheek co-star appears to rescue her now standard enemy rules
01:47apply here since she is the side character her chances of getting absolutely obliterated by the end of the
01:55tutorial are roughly 99.9 percent and then sliding out of a mountain of slimy alien goo emerges our highly
02:03anticipated
02:04uh wait what did you guys think i was gonna show on this channel chill out go search the other
02:13websites
02:14for that and to the younger viewers watching this please look behind you right now to ensure your parents
02:20aren't standing there with a sleeper stay safe
02:28i'm gonna come pervert anyway moving on suddenly a giant squid probably squidward's angry mutated cousin
02:37starts spitting fireballs at everyone meanwhile our charity worker heroines are out here fighting
02:44in the blistering summer heat wearing aggressively tight vacuum sealed latex suits
02:51they're swinging these flat pieces of iron otherwise known as sword that they definitely borrowed from
02:57their boyfriends but hey who cares about the lore when the sword fighting choreography involves
03:10that much of plot and physics let's move to the next disaster
03:15as we move forward a giant 5g cell tower gets so embarrassed by its own terrible signal
03:22and constant call drops that it literally face plants into the dart
03:27right past the wreckage we run into some alien with 8 watt led bulbs glued to their faces
03:35these guys are out here testing the sharpness of their blade using the stomachs of our female squad as
03:42cutting boards naturally our main girl steps up swings her flat idle sword and completely blows
03:53the alien's led fuse direct hit suddenly our protagonist seem to experience some severe cramps
04:03her bestie tries to hand her a medical suppository
04:14but since our girl is wearing skin tight leather pants with absolutely zero breathing room inserting
04:21that is legally and physically impossible after surviving a few more waves of enemies a wild boss appears
04:29this alien is swinging to massive meaty flesh spheres bro what are you talking about man now according to
04:37basic biology and the laws of nature a pair of balls is supposed to be located between the thighs
04:43but this evolutionary mistake grew them right on his hands
04:52unfortunately he uses those meaty globes to give our squad an absolute beatdown our brave heroines immediately
05:00declare war against the alien sphere a fierce high stakes battle begins
05:15throughout sheer teamwork strategic positioning and aggressive ball handling they apply enough force
05:23to completely neutralize the monster's majestic bullying gloves victory
05:37but the celebration is cut short suddenly giant radioactive bird droppings start falling from the sky
05:45exploding on impact and scattering the squad
05:49out of the toxic bird crap emerges a terrifying female alien boss
05:54and what is she holding to rusty primitive lawnmower sites
06:02our overconfident sidekick bestie completely ignoring the power scaling decides to flex and runs in to swallow the boss
06:10spoiler alert terrible idea she immediately gets her hand chopped clean off and the boss drives a side
06:18straight through her stomach executing a textbook mortal combat fatality
06:27what happens next to our thick tight savior will she survive the lawnmower lady to find out keep your eyes
06:35glued to my channel
06:37that's all for today boys smash that like button subscribe and peace out
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