- 58 minutes ago
Make That Season 1 Episode 2
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:01Action.
00:02Welcome to Smiling Spring Care Home.
00:06We may not look like spring chickens,
00:09but this place is all go, go, go.
00:15Hello.
00:22And what really makes it special?
00:25The people.
00:26We've been meeting on Tuesdays,
00:30we organise a selection of fun snacks
00:33and we've been whipping up our very own movie idea.
00:37Just imagine the look on my family's faces
00:41when they sit down to watch a movie
00:44that Gran came up with.
00:47How about a movie about a group of retirees
00:52who are sick of all these awful online scammers.
01:00So they go inside the computer
01:03and defeat them once and for all.
01:10This video was filmed on the iPad.
01:14We want you to help us!
01:18Wow.
01:19They are so much fun.
01:21I just want to squeeze them.
01:24You know, I actually get along better with old people.
01:27We just have this connection.
01:28They love me.
01:29Ooh, that'll come in handy.
01:31They don't seem very tech savvy.
01:33I have to introduce them to Superbreast.
01:36What?
01:36My interactive OS.
01:38Hello, Sebastian.
01:40Are you feeling better?
01:42Is that your girlfriend?
01:44No, we're just mates.
01:45Completely platonic relationship.
01:50I think we might keep Superbreast on the down low,
01:52if that's alright.
01:55Enjoy the rest of your birthday, Sebastian.
01:57We'll see you next time.
02:33We arrived at Smiling Spring,
02:35eager to aid the plight of these overlooked senior citizens.
02:39First we met with the home's director,
02:41Mrs Livingston.
02:44So this isn't a documentary about what we're feeding them, is it?
02:47No, it's more of a dystopian sci-fi satire.
02:51Great.
02:53It must disgust you the way our society
02:55has turned its back on our ancestors.
02:57They're still so vital.
02:59They deserve respect.
03:01Right, can I just warn you, they do tend to take the piss.
03:04So I recommend using a firm hand.
03:06Well, I'm not sure that'll be necessary.
03:08The last thing we want to do is disturb their delicate ecosystem.
03:11Well, I'd be careful.
03:13I'll be ducking in and out.
03:14Trying to get the money back from this Swiss company.
03:17Can you believe?
03:17They sent us the CRX0054.
03:21Well, what's that?
03:22Tanning bed.
03:23I ordered the CRX0056.
03:27Euthanasia port.
03:29Oh.
03:30I'm gonna be the combat specialist.
03:33Choregraphing most of the battle scenes, so yeah.
03:36Okay, that sounds fun.
03:38Yeah, well, considering some of the futuristic weapons I've been devising...
03:42I have to take a nap.
03:44Again?
03:45I've never really thought about getting old.
03:48I suppose I'll learn about wine and coins and shit like that.
03:55Winnie, you're already old.
03:58Older? Older.
03:59I overheard Sam say that when we finish here we'll probably leave you to live forever.
04:04Horseshit.
04:05It's an above-ground cemetery.
04:15The residents were taking their weekly aqua aerobics class.
04:19Little did they know their lives were about to change.
04:24They didn't have a clue that I was lurking beneath them, swimming betwixt their legs.
04:31I don't believe the idea has to charge her!
04:39Yes!
04:43You know, when I go to see a film, I often close my eyes for the entire duration.
04:51Huh?
04:51The sound is everything.
04:56You've got a different towel than everyone else.
04:58I enjoy the finer things.
05:00I had it monogrammed.
05:03Y-Z.
05:06Powerful initials.
05:08Right up the back of the alphabet.
05:11Right up the back.
05:15Yardley.
05:17Pa.
05:19What does the Z stand for?
05:22Zelensky.
05:23No relish.
05:24Trust Pat to get involved with the home's wealthy Casanova on day one.
05:29I was busy getting to know Sybil.
05:31What a woman!
05:32You know the idea was inspired by true events.
05:35You're joking.
05:36No!
05:37I actually was the victim of a computer scam.
05:41My family thought I was losing it and said I'd better come and live here.
05:45I had no clue.
05:47Thank you for sharing that.
05:48Uh-oh.
05:50Oh!
05:51You poor thing!
05:53Oh!
05:54Nana!
05:54Banana!
05:55Please don't ever fall over onto some tiles!
05:58Do you want something warm?
05:59Maybe you want a broach?
06:00I'll do that!
06:01No, no, no!
06:02You're hurting me!
06:03Jess!
06:06Maybe do a lap, yeah?
06:08Cool off.
06:09Yeah.
06:11Yeah.
06:15No.
06:17So, all of our families are coming to watch the movie.
06:21Uh-huh.
06:21That's right, isn't it?
06:23Yeah.
06:26What battle experience do you have?
06:29I boxed at Repton Hall.
06:31I fought Honey Jeff Timmerman.
06:33I'll be teaching a much more exciting style than that.
06:36We'll get you up on your feet in a second.
06:38You'll be wielding plasma daggers, naturally.
06:42Are you new?
06:44What room are you in?
06:46I don't go here.
06:47I'm with the film crew.
06:50That's Pat.
06:51He's been here the longest out of anyone.
06:54He looks majorly angry.
06:56We shut down his book club to focus on the movie idea.
07:00He didn't take it so well.
07:02You must be the big-shot director.
07:06No, no, no, I'm...
07:08You think you're better than us?
07:10Watch yourself.
07:14I'll send you into orbit.
07:24Note to self.
07:26That was awkward.
07:28Sam, you are a gas.
07:38The storm was raging.
07:40Waves the size of skyscrapers crashing down.
07:45We nearly died.
07:48Sorry, roommate.
07:51I'm decent.
08:00You all right, bud?
08:05I'd love to see your boat sometime.
08:08I'll bet you would.
08:11What was that?
08:12She's got dollar signs in her eyes, mate.
08:15This budfella was turning out to be a real headache.
08:18Thankfully, the other residents were fully on board and ready to turn over.
08:23Empty playgrounds, churches closing down.
08:28What's happened to our children?
08:32What's happened to our town?
08:35How could this little grey box cause so much misery?
08:42You're forgetting little grey box.
08:45I still have fight in me.
08:49And me too.
08:52We're coming with you.
08:53Me also.
08:55We're going inside the computer.
08:58We're going inside the computer.
09:01We're going inside the computer.
09:04From the ice.
09:09The Cosmundas are turning out.
09:09Come into LA off.
09:10Me too much.
09:15From the ice.
09:17The limit.
09:17The Magic.
09:18I'm the Digital Bastard.
09:20Welcome to my online wasteland.
09:24Crash the market. Too much news. Graphic content that isn't true. One wrong click. Scotland Yard. Hurts to type. Credit
09:34card. Take your money. Steal your house. Turn your grandson upside down. He doesn't look like that. And we won't
09:44stop until we have corrupted every first born in England. Cut!
09:51Okay, that was kind of incredible. I felt an actual shiver go down my spine. I'm not joking. I have
09:57all the invites gone out for the big premiere to all our families. Families. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We can
10:02sort it out. Jess. Oh, that was so good. The scammery looks so frightening. I made you some brownies. You
10:10want one? Perhaps later. Have one now. Charlie Bert gets the worm. I'm just going to borrow her for a
10:17second.
10:19Oh, baby. You're looking sexy. Oh, I want you. Oh, cappuccino. I'm just going to jump into my thermals. It's
10:35too cold in here.
10:39You dirty little monkey. You're playing him, aren't you? Oh, boy. Ticked off. You ticked off Bud. He's looking to
10:48set a fight with you.
10:52Now, is he serious? Tell him it's on. Hang on a second. He'll fight. Good on you, Pat. What have
11:01you done Bud for?
11:02Well, it'll be good to get butt out of the picture for everyone. I'm not a fighter.
11:08Yo, yo, yo. I may be of some assistance. I'm going to turn you into a killing machine.
11:20Business card.
11:22You are bombing. I've received a slew of complaints.
11:26What? Have you been doing makeovers?
11:30Humphrey told me you pierced his navel when he was sleeping.
11:33I don't think so.
11:36Jess, am I going to have to let you go?
11:38What?
11:39Get it together.
11:41Yeah.
11:44The next morning, we regrouped for a warmish breakfast.
11:48An army marches on its stomach.
11:52Oh, by the way, your son RSVPed last night.
11:55He and Denise are coming to the screening.
11:56Oh, that's wonderful news.
12:01Don't smooch the messenger.
12:03We've got a lot to squeeze in today.
12:05You triple morphed these scamquitos to Catholicism.
12:07We may be able to do a bit of that, sure.
12:11I was hoping we could do a lot of that.
12:14Well, there may be a schedule clash, Sammy.
12:16We've got gardening today and then backgammon at noon.
12:20And then we do Zumba.
12:22And then we sit down and listen to our radio programmes.
12:26Oh, I'm afraid they will all have to be postponed.
12:28Absolutely not.
12:30I couldn't learn my lines last night.
12:34I couldn't focus.
12:36I was yearning for you.
12:41When did you last update your will?
12:44I'm always making pertinent adjustments.
12:49If we must be alone together.
12:53If only I didn't have bitter old Bud as a roommate.
12:58I'm working on it.
13:00Are you sure I'm only allowed to eat hash browns?
13:04Yes, the outcome of this fight depends on it.
13:08This shape is important.
13:19What do you need?
13:24Eh, nada, una preguntita medio rara.
13:27Eh, solo quisiera saber, si no fuéramos familia,
13:31tú igual me quisieras, ¿no?
13:33Como que quisieras hablar conmigo y eso.
13:36Se está cortando la comunicación.
13:43No te oigo, no te oigo.
13:45Ah, bueno.
13:52I see the light.
13:56I filled my cup.
13:58My ship has sailed.
14:01My time is up.
14:04Farewell and goodbye.
14:08Now go quickly before the grooming gang recharge their quantum blaster.
14:18We'll miss you, Sybil.
14:20And cut.
14:22It's not too bad.
14:24I feel like we're losing some of that energy.
14:26It was fine.
14:28Let's go from the top.
14:29Let's move on.
14:30Look, just give us a bit of a breather if you don't mind.
14:33I'm tired.
14:35When the phone's on 2%, you can still use all the apps.
14:38My apps went all big on me.
14:41Let's take five.
14:42I'm worried their commitment is waning.
14:45That euthanasia pie sounds pretty good to me right now.
14:49Jess.
14:50I want to die.
14:52No, I do.
14:54Oh, I need you to win this fight.
14:56I've got a lot riding on it.
14:58I need to focus on Sebastian's fatal finishing move.
15:02Remind me what that is again?
15:04That's when you jump in the air and punch them at both fists and kick them at both feet.
15:10All at the same time.
15:12They're pining about the Aztecs.
15:16Sebastian, go over here.
15:19What up?
15:21Have you ever been in a fight?
15:23Define for me what you mean.
15:25Have you ever been in a physical fight?
15:28Depends on the parameters.
15:29Have you?
15:32Not technically.
15:33Winnie, I'll be taking over your trainer.
15:34He's my protege.
15:36You're sacked.
15:38You're going to need a trainer.
15:39Sibyl, I think you're right.
15:41Let's move on to the Battle of Cyberloo.
15:43I think we're done here for the day, Sammy.
15:45We've got a lot on.
15:46Yeah, about that.
15:47Surely you've got enough footage from yesterday?
15:50Besides, when all the relatives arrive,
15:53they'll probably only want to watch a little snippet
15:56and then we can all catch up properly.
16:00You don't care, do you?
16:01You don't care about this movie at all.
16:03You just want to see your family.
16:05This whole time, you lied to me.
16:09Did you even get scammed?
16:10Of course.
16:12If that Jeremy Corbyn can't handle a couple of death threats,
16:15what's he doing putting his email address on his website?
16:19That's what you think getting scammed is?
16:21Try not to scrunch up your nose, darling.
16:25It makes you look like a rat.
16:29Honestly, I felt like I'd been scammed.
16:32Sibyl's confession took a real toll on the team.
16:37We have to get as far away from these people as we can.
16:40There's a darkness there.
16:42Yeah, let's head off.
16:44Yeah, we'll give it a try.
16:45Old people have no honour whatsoever.
16:48Steady on.
16:49I've heard that we stay.
16:50We've still got a lot we could learn from them.
16:53Please.
16:54We all know what you're after.
16:56I have to agree with Pat here.
17:00Superbreast, you don't get it.
17:01Sorry, but I did a little bit of research.
17:04All of the dominant civilisations throughout history
17:08have a deep reverence for their elders.
17:11Sam, I know you feel hurt,
17:14but you can't expect everyone here to have the same passion
17:18and understanding of the filmmaking process as you.
17:22When they see the movie, it will all become clear to them.
17:26Don't give up.
17:27Let them see it.
17:29Make them see it.
17:31Superbreast.
17:32I needed that.
17:34Sam, you must hear this a lot, but I'm a big fan.
17:38Oh, yeah?
17:38I'd love to pick your ring.
17:39Let's get to work, I reckon.
17:41I've seen the Sainsbury's trilogy six times.
17:43I think she's got a virus.
17:45It was a very old bridge, a very old bridge,
17:48a very old bridge indeed.
17:49A very big oval, very big oval, very big oval seed.
17:54It was a very old walker, a very old walker.
17:57Turn off that crap!
17:59Everyone against the wall!
18:02You heard me!
18:03Everyone stand against the fucking wall now!
18:06A few of you seem to have forgotten who calls the shots around here.
18:10Now, your precious families will be here tomorrow,
18:12and I want to make them proud.
18:15I know you have a blockbuster inside of you.
18:17I'm going to rip it out!
18:20Is that understood?
18:21Is that understood?
18:23No more breaks!
18:25No more Zumba!
18:26Did I just ask a quick question?
18:28No!
18:28You may not!
18:30No question!
18:31Turn up!
18:33Way up!
18:34Turn up!
18:35Lay me!
18:36Turn up!
18:37They just needed a bit of encouragement, really.
18:41Someone to believe in them.
18:43Besides, the megabyte tarantuloid and her digi-eggs
18:46weren't exactly going to vanquish themselves.
18:49I don't think we've ever had this many visitors.
18:52What a treat.
18:53So how about a huge round of applause
18:56for our fantastic residents
18:59for doing this movie project?
19:08Anna!
19:09No talking!
19:11No coughing!
19:12No diabetes!
19:14No fidgeting!
19:15I'm looking at you, smallie.
19:18Mate?
19:20Thank you!
19:21Roll the tape!
19:23Empty playgrounds,
19:25churches, clothing dark.
19:27I can leave as soon as the share's over.
19:29100%.
19:30What happened to our children?
19:31What happened to our children?
19:32What happened to our children?
19:52I filled my cup, my ship has sailed, my time is up, farewell and good-bye.
20:08We'll miss you, Sybil, she was who she was and you knew where you were with her.
20:14Okay, so that's the interval now. Don't forget to go to the toilet and we'll see you in 15 minutes.
20:22Oh, hold on, change of plans. We have organised half-time entertainment. Some of the guys are gonna have a
20:28fight.
20:35There you have it. My last will and testament managed to squeeze you in.
20:42Yardley, it's a very long list of beneficiaries.
20:45I have a weakness for powerful women.
20:48What is it, every woman you've ever met? Oh, so I only get 40 quid?
20:55Why is Superbreast on here?
20:57I swear on my life, we're only friends.
21:22I swear on my life, we're only friends.
21:29There, we did it. They're all dead.
21:32It really makes you think about what's important.
21:39This film is dedicated to anyone who's had a bad experience online.
21:45Spend some time, considering what we've done.
21:51We breached the online citadel and took out the evil scum.
21:56Spend some time.
21:59The film was a beautiful triumph, but the residents of Smiling Spring had failed to instill their offspring with suitable
22:06attention spans.
22:08Glued to the wrong kind of screen.
22:10We need to make conscription mandatory.
22:13Hey!
22:15Even Jess seemed distracted.
22:20I should probably give her more credit.
22:23Ultimately, she was the only one who truly understood the secret message at the heart of our movie.
22:28Spend some time.
22:30Spend some time.
22:33Spend some time.
22:34It's not easy.
22:35It's not convenient.
22:37Spend some time.
22:37But it's worthwhile.
22:39Jerry!
22:39If you are related to someone, you need to make the effort to speak to them.
22:44Before they go up to heaven.
22:47Spend some time.
22:52Spend some time.
22:54I've never had a raisin just by itself.
22:57Just always part of a cake.
22:59Even though they hated your guts, you still helped them.
23:03Nobody wants to feel unloved.
23:05You see the best in people.
23:07It's a very commendable trait.
23:08Yeah, it is.
23:10That's right.
23:11You have a kind heart.
23:14Guys, let's make a pact.
23:16We never work with old people again.
23:19Amen.
23:20Yeah, yeah.
23:21Thanks for watching.
23:22Have a great weekend!
23:24It was a very old bridge, a very old bridge, a very old bridge indeed.
23:29A very big down, a very big down, a very big down, oh shit.
23:34It was a very old bridge, a very old bridge, a very old bridge indeed.
23:38A very big down, a very big down, a very big down, oh shit.
23:43A very old bridge, a very old bridge, a very old bridge.
23:46Turn off that crap!
23:50You
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