- 13 hours ago
Make That Season 1 Episode 3
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Hey!
00:03OK, so, our ancient history teacher, Miss Stanthorpe,
00:07isn't like other teachers.
00:08She even took us on a school trip to visit the Broadcone Bogman.
00:12The Broadcone Bogman is a 3,000-year-old naturally mummified body
00:15found in a peat bog near our school.
00:17He's in a glass box, he has a ponytail, and he's all shirvelled up.
00:22Miss Stanthorpe is THE Bogman expert.
00:24She's really into him.
00:26Like, you can tell she doesn't really have a life outside of school.
00:29She has nothing else going on.
00:33Oh, my God!
00:35We literally cried when we found out that when she was our age,
00:38nobody wanted to take her to the prom.
00:41So she just stayed at home and read her book.
00:44So sad!
00:49We love you, Miss Ayres!
00:51Please help us make a movie about our favourite teacher.
00:54All about her going to the prom with the love of her life.
00:57The Bogman.
00:58That would be such an amazing movie.
01:01Thank you, bye!
01:05This is what I like to see.
01:06Young people who want to make a difference.
01:08And I'm still talking.
01:10The last year of high school can be tough.
01:13Tara and Yolanda are probably dealing with stacks of homework,
01:16going to big parties, they're probably babysitting as well,
01:19or working at a kiosk.
01:21Honestly, I can imagine them making smoothies.
01:23Seriously.
01:24And they've gone out of their way to help this poor Stanthorpian teacher.
01:27You know, Miss Danthorp actually has a PhD in neolithic wetland studies.
01:31She's technically a doctor.
01:33Oh, get her to look at my groin.
01:35She's my dog.
01:36Oh, she's the only one...
01:55She's a teenager!
01:57She's a teenager!
01:59Shut up! Shut up!
02:00Keep running!
02:10As my team brushed off the history books,
02:13they couldn't help taking a stroll down memory lane.
02:16As soon as the bell rang, my sisters and I would run all the way to the Cortesanos.
02:19The what?
02:20This gorgeous Art Deco cinema that my parents did up,
02:24and we all worked there, and I helped paint the sign.
02:26It's probably my happiest memory.
02:29Can't say I had much in the way of her childhood, personally.
02:33That one.
02:35Oh, what? Because you got kidnapped?
02:37Uh-huh. I was captured by the militia when I was a baby,
02:40and held hostage until my 19th birthday.
02:44I was mainly tied up to a chair and tortured.
02:48Oh, too bad.
02:49We did get to make a lot of ransom videos, though.
02:52I guess that's sort of how I got into the biz.
02:55Oh, the biz.
02:57Yeah, I hate it when people say the biz.
02:59I'd avoid telling people that entire story if I were you.
03:02It's a secret. Keep that secret.
03:04You are on very thin ice.
03:06We arrived at Broadcom High, and gave our superstar teacher the good news.
03:11She was flabbergasted.
03:13Thank you. Bye!
03:17I don't understand.
03:19I'd never talk about my personal life in front of students.
03:24How did they know I didn't go to the prom?
03:27I've never told anyone that.
03:29They must really care about you.
03:31These are good girls.
03:35While I congratulated Miss Stanthorpe's hand, Principal Edwards led Winnie and Pat on a location scout.
03:42This is the auditorium.
03:44Echo!
03:46I love it in here.
03:47Tell you what, normally I have like 500 people in here.
03:49Min.
03:50I would have loved for you guys to see one of my assemblies.
03:53Shhh.
03:54Yeah.
03:56Yeah, they're like the one for me.
03:59Oh, really?
04:02Eamon, what are you doing?
04:03I should give you guys attention.
04:04Go on, back to class.
04:06Off you pop.
04:07Honestly.
04:12That is really shocking, you know?
04:14I thought Eamon Burgess was still going with Yolanda Jansen.
04:17What's he doing with Tara Simmons?
04:19I'm really behind on the goss.
04:21What the fuck?
04:23They've got boys and girls here.
04:25Yeah, well, most places are mixed now, Winnie.
04:28You don't say. Wow.
04:30I went to a four boys' school.
04:32An all boys' school?
04:33No, no, no. This was an experiment in extreme discipline.
04:37Just four boys and a hundred teachers.
04:42That's mental.
04:44I think I actually heard about that. Were you a boarder?
04:46Oh, God, no.
04:48I was just a day boy.
04:50Or that poor night boy.
04:53Right, shall I show you the cafeteria?
04:57Okay.
04:58I'm surprised you can't see what's happened here.
05:00I took the class on a trip to the Broadcom Exhibition Centre to view the remains we've been discussing all
05:04term.
05:05I asked to split Yolanda and Tara up.
05:07They were being highly disruptive.
05:09They might be Aspergian.
05:10They said I wanted to suck off the bog man.
05:12Oh, I doubt that.
05:14Look, they obviously just need some guidance.
05:17May I be bold?
05:18Fortune favours are bold.
05:20No offence, none taken.
05:21These girls need a father figure.
05:23Hey, everyone.
05:25Let's go with chocolate moochies.
05:26Oh, yeah.
05:27I choked for dinner, ladies.
05:28Well, it needs to be quick.
05:29These can go off at any minute.
05:31Look, this whole project is inappropriate.
05:33We have a set curriculum.
05:35Huh.
05:36This says that the Broadcom Bogman was found holding a ruin covered in undeciphered symbols.
05:40I thought that they represented the breeding and menstrual cycle of the local deer population.
05:46It's a popular theory.
05:48I'm impressed.
05:50You know, above all else, this film will be totally historically accurate.
05:54Kismetika!
05:56That, of course, means greetings.
05:58I've been chosen to be the film's official linguist.
06:02They'll be meticulously recreating an authentic bog man talking style.
06:07Oh.
06:08Did you see Golov's lady's paper on the pheno-uretic phonetic alphabet?
06:14I see many things.
06:16Oh.
06:18Brilliant.
06:19Can't wait.
06:19Edwards!
06:20Yes, boss?
06:21Where are my girlies?
06:23We need to talk casting ASAP.
06:25Also, do you have any spare clothes?
06:27Someone has had an accident.
06:31Clumsy.
06:33They didn't have anything in purple.
06:36Just to reiterate, Sebastian's mum and dad bankroll our entire operation out of guilt.
06:42He's not very easy to be around, but for the moment, we are stuck with him.
06:46I made sure all lessons were cancelled for the day, as we held mandatory auditions for
06:51the heart of the centre of our teen drama, the bog man.
06:55Oh, that is such a cool clip.
06:58You've got to send me that clip.
07:01Let's see Reece Trundle.
07:04Hi, Reece.
07:08You bring me back to life, but me no understand modern world.
07:14Remember last year when the fire alarm made him shit himself?
07:18Really?
07:19I did not.
07:20Well, thanks, Reece.
07:21I think we've seen enough.
07:27You must really miss your girlfriend.
07:29I not have girlfriend.
07:31Me have wife.
07:33Bog wife.
07:34I know his cousin.
07:36She told me he has epilepsy.
07:39That's disgusting.
07:43Thanks, Tim.
07:44I hear the circus is in town.
07:47Okay, what is this?
07:49Sorry, what is this?
07:51The insane party started.
07:54Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
07:58Go, go, go, go, go, go.
08:15Joke audition, joke audition.
08:17Sebastian, who are these guys?
08:21I hesitate to ask how your bog dialect is coming along.
08:29So funny.
08:32Eamon Burgess.
08:33Strong name.
08:35Eamon.
08:43Everyone's rushing, losing their minds.
08:46I'm just watching, taking my time.
08:49Newspapers, skyscrapers, blank faces.
08:54Sweet baby princess, daughter of the queen.
09:01I got a pure, a pure connection.
09:09Eamon, what's up?
09:15Eamon totally got our juices flowing.
09:18Can you believe his song was an original?
09:21Time to throw on my captain's hat.
09:23I've found a dream boat.
09:26You know, I was thinking about writing your name on my penis.
09:29Don't you dare.
09:31Isn't that true?
09:32Yeah.
09:33I must have been with you.
09:35Yeah.
09:35I didn't even know you played it.
09:36That was really great.
09:38You know, early hundreds actually relied on whistling as a form of communication.
09:42Is that right?
09:43Yeah.
09:45We know your secret.
09:53What did she say to you?
09:54Nothing.
09:55She said she likes my head.
09:57You feel like I'm back at school.
09:59They're bullies.
10:00Pat, they're the talent.
10:02Well, looks like we found our bog body.
10:05And what a body.
10:09Yolanda, how would you feel about playing his throbbing love interest?
10:12The young Gertrude Stanthorpe.
10:15Um, I was wondering if I could read for that part.
10:19Excuse me?
10:20It's my part.
10:21But you didn't even audition.
10:22Um, Tara, you're being kind of dodgy.
10:25Yeah, just being a little bit dodgy.
10:27And hold on a second.
10:28Tara, I have something else for you.
10:31I do.
10:31Another part.
10:33Really important.
10:34Equal billing.
10:35What?
10:37I'd like you to play
10:40Daniella Richella St. Clair.
10:42So, Daniella Richella St. Clair is a stock character
10:45that I always have in my back pocket
10:47whenever someone feels like they're being left out
10:49or when I'm accused of not having enough strong female characters.
10:53We've used her three or four times.
10:55Look, Sam.
10:56Sam, we're gonna have to lose these.
10:58They're friendship necklaces.
11:00Are you sure?
11:01Sorry, did you not want usable audio?
11:05Guys, grow up.
11:07That can permanently kill someone.
11:10Hundreds of people die from lasers every day.
11:22Gertrude?
11:22Are you okay?
11:24Why are you talking to me?
11:27I didn't think you knew I existed.
11:30You live with your inbred family
11:31in that ramshackle hut next to the bog.
11:34This is gonna sound hella random.
11:36But I've been having these visions.
11:48Why have you been texting, Eamon?
11:51I just said I liked his song.
11:52I was being nice.
11:53You're fucking dead, bitch.
11:54I am fucking dead.
11:55There you are.
11:56Dead, bitch.
11:58Yeah, come for my boyfriend again.
11:59Break it up.
12:01Break it up.
12:02What's all this about?
12:04She's trying to steal my boyfriend.
12:06Is that true?
12:07He's just a guy.
12:10Listen, it's okay to be boy crazy,
12:13but I'm begging you, don't be boy delusional.
12:17Never talk to me ever again.
12:19You don't mean that, cupcake.
12:21She doesn't mean that.
12:22It's okay.
12:24What was that?
12:26Was it something I did?
12:27It's a minefield of young love.
12:30This morning, we caught Eamon and Tara having sex.
12:34They were just kissing.
12:38A steamy love triangle.
12:41Stolen kisses, forbidden glances.
12:44Oh, I hate drama so much.
12:47Would it be worth getting the school counsellor involved?
12:49I used to go to Shelley all of the time.
12:51It can be really good to talk to someone.
12:53Nope.
12:55The only one thing for it, the bog.
12:58Trust me, it has healing qualities.
13:01Winnie's right.
13:02We will need to stay overnight upon the bog.
13:05If it can preserve a bloke, it can salvage a friendship.
13:12Have you ever been to a bog?
13:15Text in.
13:16As night fell, we gathered around the campfire to bond and learn and share.
13:20And I sensed the girls were still squabbling.
13:23I needed the bog to work its otherworldly magic, ASAP.
13:27He wasn't related to the skeleton, because he WAS a skeleton!
13:34Okay, it's getting pretty late.
13:36Yeah, I should probably hit the sack.
13:37Big day tomorrow, everyone.
13:38Yo, S-Dog.
13:40Can we stay up a little longer?
13:42Oh yeah, no problem.
13:44As long as you promise to have an unforgettable night.
13:49Yes!
13:52The next morning, I was eager to start shooting.
13:55We'd fallen a little behind schedule,
13:57waiting for our starlets to emerge from their slumber.
14:03Good morning, sleepyheads!
14:04Can you not?
14:06Don't bite my head off. I'm not a gingerbread man.
14:10I've got to show you where we're filming this first scene.
14:12Come on, you're going to love it.
14:13While I led Tara and Yolanda down to set,
14:16Jess applied Eamon's prosthetics.
14:17So would the Borg men have had, like, multiple partners?
14:21Well, this was long before we adopted sedentary communities.
14:25The dimorphism amongst mobile tribes would suggest, like,
14:27a chieftain-like role who would have appointed dozens of concubines.
14:31So, yeah.
14:34What's that?
14:35I've got a question.
14:37So, I know it was a long time ago,
14:39but do you think your parents have ever forgiven you?
14:42You know, after you destroyed their cinema.
14:46What was it called again?
14:48The Cortesanos!
14:51Oh no!
14:52You ruined it!
14:57I, um, I think I need to go and get inside of my bag,
14:59because I think I maybe dropped it in sight and not in the way.
15:06Hey!
15:07Oh, you look so cute!
15:09I don't know how many times I've warned my team not to let their personal lives impact the job,
15:14so I was a little disappointed to see Jess letting her past come back to haunt her.
15:18And then I went to go make myself a slush puppy.
15:21And I used to always make myself a slush puppy.
15:25And then, and then I heard this noise, and it was our projectionist, Luis,
15:29and he had sprained his ankle until he was climbing down the ladder.
15:33So then I went up to the sign, and I took down the letters, and
15:37then I locked the door, and I just forgot about the machine.
15:43And in the morning, the whole place was slushed out, slushed up to the ceiling,
15:53everywhere, it was everywhere, and it was so sticky.
15:58People kept saying, it's too sticky here, and it was all my fault.
16:04That's the final straw, I'm cracking skulls.
16:07Pat, you will stand down. I'm not giving up on these girls.
16:10Look, they're besties again. How I have missed those smiles.
16:18And may I ask where the hell you've been?
16:21Well, um, last night Yolanda sent us out to buy some bookers.
16:26I guess she found out about my fake ID.
16:29Your real ID? You've been out all day.
16:34He told us he liked you.
16:35No, I didn't. I told you that in confidence.
16:38Anyway, we got kind of lost last night, and I think we found another one.
16:44Another?
16:46Bog body. Follow me.
16:58Why is he wearing headphones?
17:00Yeah, no, they didn't have headphones in Neolithic times.
17:04Sebastian, you dropkick. This guy's fallen down and whacked his head on that rock.
17:08This is a freshie.
17:10Nothing to see here, mate. Move on, move on.
17:14An ancient bog body is a discovery. This is far too modern.
17:18This is a problem.
17:19This guy is actually dead, Sebastian.
17:22I put my hand in his mouth.
17:28So, I should've, I should've, I should've, I should've.
17:33Well, at least he's been practicing the bog language.
17:38My girlies!
17:44Girls!
17:48This isn't you. This isn't us.
17:52Take a deep breath. Have some screen time.
17:55We have to shoot while we've got this soft line.
17:56What's up about your stupid movie?
17:59Hey! Hey, I heard that.
18:02We did the whole thing as a joke.
18:04You're a loser.
18:06And we know you've got a stiffy doing the bleep pass.
18:08Oh, you foolish girls.
18:17The last thing you want to do is get on the wrong side of our pat.
18:20Basically, she explained to Tara and Yolanda that if they didn't keep a lid on the bickering,
18:24she'd frame them for murder.
18:26She's got a real knack for planting evidence
18:28and stitching together audio to sound like a confession.
18:31She's done it before, and she'll do it again.
18:34With everyone on the same page, I could finally do what I do best.
18:38Weaving a prepubescent love story.
18:41Oh, it's a full house.
18:42Yeah.
18:43So, how was camp? Any hookups?
18:45I heard Sebastian might have a little thing for Jess.
18:48Okay, everyone. I know it's not a rainy day,
18:51but who wants to chuck on a movie?
18:57Well, just remember, when it's over, we need to knuckle down,
19:00because there is an exam on Monday.
19:02Oh, boo!
19:02Oh, boo!
19:04Yeah, don't worry. You'll ace it after you see this.
19:07Okay, I need two strong boys to get the TV.
19:10Let's go, Vincent and, um...
19:12Eamon, what happened to your face?
19:16I think my skin had a bad reaction to the prosthetics.
19:19Oh, dear.
19:23I come here whenever I feel low,
19:25or to sit and pray for my ovarian cysts to go away,
19:28so I don't have to do IVF.
19:31Daniela, Vachella, St. Clair,
19:32are you having one of your waking visions?
19:50Wow! He's gorgeous!
20:04Oh, he misses Pangea!
20:08So, Bogman, how old are you?
20:10Oh, my God, I'm so proud of you.
20:18That's my prom dress.
20:20Dad says it's too revealing.
20:22Prom?
20:24You've never heard of prom?
20:29Girls, girls, girls.
20:31Now, I've been pretty lenient already,
20:33and the PTA are right up my arse.
20:35Now, I already let you do Battle of the Bands.
20:38But prom? How old is this guy?
20:46That's a Hanuman Housh.
20:48Oh, that's a four-coloured pen.
20:50Now, if, and that's a big if, mister,
20:55if I let you go to the prom,
20:57the question is, who are you going to take?
21:16Daniela, Vachella, St. Clair.
21:25Excellent choice.
21:27I'll just put that into the system.
21:44Do you believe in the concept of soulmates?
21:56There they are.
21:57Hey, Bogman.
21:59I did some research.
22:00Gertrude?
22:01She's 16, and he's 3,000 years old.
22:05It's an inappropriate age gap.
22:20And we're having a baby.
22:38You have a unique style.
22:41And you can finally be free.
22:44The exhibition centre have already been in touch.
22:46They want to play it on a constant loop.
22:48Miss S, we just wanted to say that you're really intelligent.
22:54You're a really good teacher.
22:56And we made you this.
22:59That's very thoughtful, girls.
23:02Thanks, girls.
23:04Pat, I'm in awe of you.
23:07Didn't I ask you to get me a cake?
23:11Now, I think Brianna has something she wants to say.
23:16On behalf of everyone at Broadcom High, we would like to thank you for coming to our school and dazzling
23:21us with movie magic.
23:23applause
23:26applause
23:34Everyone's watching, losing their mind
23:38I'm just watching, taking my time
23:42Lose paper, lose paper, skies, skies, skies
23:46Speak, flame, face and face, speak, flame, face and face
23:50Speak of faith, the princess
23:53Daughter of the queen
23:55We've got a pure
23:57A pure nation
24:20A pure nation
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