- 9 hours ago
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00:02Your average housewife worries constantly about the dangerous people she sees on the nightly news,
00:09which is why she buys expensive alarm systems, carries pepper spray in her purse,
00:16and keeps a gun in her drawer so she can go about her day feeling safe and protected.
00:26Your average inmate worries constantly about the dangerous people he comes in contact with every day,
00:34which is why he takes ordinary items and turns them into weapons that he always keeps handy
00:43so he can go about his day feeling safe and protected.
00:48What is the difference between the housewife and the inmate?
00:52The inmate knows the feeling. Won't last long.
01:14Delfino, right? Yeah. So?
01:35Come on, bro. Let's go. Okay?
01:38Yeah. I owe you one. Yeah. I guess you do.
01:45Yes. We all need protection from those who would do us harm.
01:53And sometimes, from those who protect us.
01:59Wild parties.
02:01Handsome strangers.
02:04Tender kisses.
02:06Every time.
02:09Yes.
02:10There were many things Gabrielle Solis liked about being single again.
02:16But coming home to an empty house was not one of them.
02:22Oh!
02:36Hi. You're sleeping at my place tonight.
02:38Really? What did you have in my life?
02:42God, I hate my life.
02:44Honestly, did you think I was gonna sleep with you?
02:47It would be the polite way to thank me.
02:49Carlos, this isn't funny. I am scared to death of this maniac.
02:52Since when? Yesterday you were loving all the presents. The intrigue.
02:56The guy broke into the house. He went from secret admirer to stalker.
03:00For all I know, he's trying to kill me so no one else will have me.
03:03Why don't you just call the cops?
03:04And tell them what?
03:059-1-1! Somebody broke in the house and left a $6,000 dress.
03:09Okay, so if this guy shows up again, what am I supposed to do exactly?
03:12Nothing. Just having you here helps.
03:16No, that's very sweet.
03:18Because when he breaks in and starts hacking you up with his machete,
03:20your screams will wake me up and then I'll be able to escape.
03:25Glad I could help.
03:32Hey, stranger.
03:34Hey.
03:35You have good timing.
03:37I just got all the kids to sleep.
03:39Oh, damn. I wanted to tuck them in.
03:41Well, you could tuck me in.
03:45I thought I smelled your sex perfume.
03:48Come here.
03:49Hi.
03:51Oh, oh, oh. Wait a minute. Don't get me all rubbed up just yet.
03:55The printer said he was gonna drop off my menu on his way home.
03:58You already did.
04:01Oh, you didn't look at that, did you? Because it's just a mock-up.
04:03Too late. I looked. And it's great.
04:08Really?
04:08Yes. I love the font, the color, everything.
04:12I am so jazzed to see the restaurant.
04:16It is so good to hear that.
04:22So, any idea when that might be?
04:26Sure. How about two weeks?
04:30You open in two weeks?
04:32Yeah, well, that'd be a good time for you to come by,
04:34because there's free refills, balloons, music.
04:36Might there be a VIP preview for people, say, who bore your children?
04:43Lynette?
04:44Yeah?
04:45I don't want you to see it until it's all done.
04:49Why not?
04:50Because you will take one look at the place and then you'll have all these tips and suggestions that you
04:54just won't be able to keep to yourself.
04:56You think? Because I just saw a takeout menu with a six-digit phone number and I kept that to
05:00myself.
05:00See? There it is. That snarky, know-it-all attitude.
05:03What? I am snarky because I point out one small, glaring mistake?
05:07That's it. Now, you're banned from the opening.
05:12Fine. Good night.
05:16So, we're not having sex?
05:19Hey, you banned me from your opening.
05:28Fine.
05:29All I'm saying is that I'd feel a lot safer on the pill.
05:33But if you're not 18, you need parental consent.
05:35Do we really need to give your mother another reason to hate me?
05:37She'll hate you a lot worse if you get me gay!
05:41Hi.
05:42Hi.
05:46Bye.
05:47Bye.
05:54Can't we just keep using condoms and be extra careful?
05:57Are you crazy? They're not dependable.
05:58Sure they are.
05:59Why do you think everybody uses them?
06:01They all have to pass inspection.
06:03It's too risky.
06:04Condoms are only 85% effective.
06:08Mom!
06:09Mom, what happened? Are you okay?
06:11Oh! I was just, uh...
06:14I lost an earring.
06:16Mom, you're wearing both your earrings.
06:20Oh!
06:21I found it.
06:24Austin, I would like to talk to my daughter. Privately.
06:26Sure. Call me later.
06:33Why were you two talking about condoms?
06:34Why were you eavesdropping?
06:35Don't change the subject.
06:37Are you two having sex because I thought that I raised you to be smarter than that?
06:41Don't you realize that sex is not fun and games?
06:44It's dangerous.
06:45Every time you turn around, there's a new disease.
06:46Do you want it to burn when you pee?
06:48Mom!
06:48Sex kills.
06:49Mom!
06:49What?
06:50I'm not having sex.
06:53Really?
06:55Really.
06:57Oh, thank God.
06:59If you're not having sex, why were you talking about condoms?
07:03Because we know two kids at school who are, and they're only using condoms.
07:07Which is really stupid because condoms are only 85% effective.
07:12Yes.
07:13That's right.
07:14A condom alone will not protect you.
07:18I totally agree.
07:31EITI!
07:32freeze!
07:33Alma!
07:33I didn't know that you knew ETI.
07:35I told your friends at that dinner party I was looking for a new house.
07:39A house?
07:40Yes.
07:41And Gabby introduced us.
07:43Oh, well, um, I don't want to keep you.
07:46I'm sure that Edie has lots of other houses to show you.
07:49Nope, we're done.
07:51Alma took one look at the Apple White House and bam, love at first sight.
07:55What?
07:56We're going to be neighbors.
07:57No.
08:00I mean, I mean, no.
08:03Alma, you can't buy this house.
08:04Why not?
08:05Well, are you aware of its history?
08:07The previous owner was harboring a murderer.
08:10It was her son.
08:12Say what you like.
08:12She was a great mom.
08:14They had a dungeon in the basement.
08:16I mean, people say they still hear groans coming from the house at night.
08:19They're going to hear groans coming from your house if you don't sip it.
08:24Don't worry, Alma.
08:25I'm sure that Edie can find you a house that won't give you nightmares.
08:28It's too late, Bree.
08:31I've fallen in love with this neighborhood.
08:33And as for that haunted house stuff, well, that's just silly.
08:36People don't come back from the dead.
08:43Don't I wish.
08:51You will not have that woman as a neighbor.
08:53You have got to do something.
08:54I said I'd talk to her.
08:56So what are you waiting for?
08:57The house is dark.
08:58She's not there.
08:58Oh, so you're just going to wait until she moves in?
09:00I will deal with it.
09:01Bree, please, calm down.
09:02How can I be calm?
09:04For months, people thought you killed your first wife.
09:06No sooner does she show up and clear your name,
09:08than the police haul you off to ask you about another murder.
09:11They just had some questions.
09:12Everybody has questions.
09:13Susan and I aren't even speaking because of it.
09:15Bree, please.
09:16I try to hold my head up and smile and just bake more pies for the church social.
09:21But now your ex is camped out on our doorstep
09:24like I am hosting some kind of Mormon slumber party.
09:26And I do not know how I'm going to bake my way out of this one.
09:30Darling, I swear to you, I will get Alma out of that house.
09:34I don't care if I have to live up to my reputation and strangle her.
09:39You're a good husband.
09:42Have you lost your mind?
09:44I am not getting you the pill.
09:46Aunt Itty, Julie and I are in love.
09:48Oh, please.
09:49It's not love you're feeling.
09:50It's hormones.
09:51That's not true.
09:52Okay, fine.
09:54If you want to express your love, you don't need to go all the way.
09:59Kiss, touch, rub.
10:01Whatever happened to heavy petting?
10:03So underrated.
10:05That's your advice?
10:07Well, I'm sorry.
10:08I've never been good at getting people not to have sex.
10:10So you're not going to help us?
10:12Julie, if I do this, your mother would have my head.
10:17You should be talking to her.
10:18I can't talk to her.
10:19The whole idea of this completely freaks her out.
10:22She started screaming sex kills.
10:25So now it's all in my lap.
10:27God, she pisses me off.
10:31Look, how about ice cream for a box of condoms?
10:33Would that get you two off my back?
10:36Condoms are only 85% effective.
10:38Is that true?
10:41Damn.
10:42Thought I could coast all the way to menopause.
10:44Look, we're going to have sex whether you help us or not.
10:47We're just trying to be responsible.
10:53All right.
10:54But, just so you know,
10:56the responsible thing is to abstain from sex
10:58and focus on your studies.
11:01There.
11:02I said it out loud just in case anybody asks.
11:08Gabby, I need another pillow.
11:10All right, don't take the big one.
11:11That's my favorite.
11:12It's only for one night.
11:14Because tomorrow I'm going to be back home
11:15sleeping in my own bed.
11:16What?
11:17You can't abandon me.
11:19There's a madman stalking me.
11:20My life is on the line.
11:22Do you know how scared I am?
11:25You keeping that?
11:28I am scared, but not of the dress.
11:51Carlos.
11:52Carlos, wake up.
11:53I need you.
11:55Yeah, I thought you'd come around.
11:57What?
11:57No.
11:58Hey!
11:59He's here.
12:12Don't!
12:13Carlos, be careful!
12:14He might have a gun!
12:16Oh!
12:16I'm on arm!
12:17Stop kicking me!
12:18Oh, now you're going to give me attitude?
12:20Oh!
12:20Gabby, we got it.
12:21Maintain.
12:22This jerk has been terrorizing me.
12:23He broke into my house.
12:24It was a $6,000 dress,
12:26and my boss didn't want me leaving it on the porch.
12:29Your boss?
12:31Hey, uh, I'm sorry to wake you, sir,
12:34but there was a problem dropping off the gift.
12:37Yes, and she's right here with me.
12:40This is Gabrielle.
12:41Who the hell is this?
12:42Yes, I got your token of esteem,
12:44and I'm not impressed.
12:46Because you're freaking me out.
12:48That's why.
12:49No, I don't care how much it costs.
12:51That's beside the point.
12:54Really?
12:55That much?
12:56Tell him if he doesn't stop harassing you,
12:57you're going to call the cops.
12:59Look, I know you're trying to be romantic,
13:01but if you keep this up,
13:02I'm going to be forced...
13:08What'd he say?
13:09That's very sweet of you,
13:10but I am not the most beautiful woman in the world.
13:12Tell him you're going to get a restraining order on him.
13:15Yes, I may be in the top ten.
13:17Gabby!
13:18Hey, I'm talking here.
13:21Your voice sounds so familiar.
13:22Do I know you?
13:25He says I know him,
13:26and that he wants to reintroduce himself at dinner.
13:29Absolutely not.
13:31I would not feel comfortable meeting for dinner.
13:34Good girl.
13:35How about lunch?
13:36Gabby!
13:37You have to promise to stop buying me these expensive gifts.
13:40Because I'm not that kind of girl.
13:42Well, for that many carrots,
13:44yes, I could be that kind of girl.
13:46Um, I gotta go.
13:47I'll talk to you tomorrow.
13:50Oh, how about that?
13:52And here I was thinking some guy wants to murder me in my sleep.
13:55Night's still young.
14:06Oh, those ribs.
14:08Oh, I needed some tape.
14:11Those guys were hardcore.
14:12You really saved my ass.
14:14Don't mention it.
14:15No.
14:16Seriously.
14:18Everything I can do for you.
14:20Just say the word.
14:22I'll keep that in mind.
14:24Hey, Delfino!
14:28Yeah, boss?
14:30You might want to find yourself another prom date.
14:32Guy's not your friend.
14:34How do you know that?
14:36After those mutts knocked you around the other day,
14:38your boy paid him off.
14:41You sure?
14:42I saw money change hands.
14:44Just watch your back.
14:53So, I was in the middle of totally freaking out
14:55when Julie assured me that she's not having sex.
14:58Can't tell you how relieved I was.
15:00Uh-huh.
15:02Don't say uh-huh like that.
15:03Julie wouldn't lie to me.
15:05She says she's not having sex,
15:06then she's not having sex.
15:08Okay?
15:09You can't say okay like that either.
15:12Julie's not like other girls.
15:13She's a straight-A student.
15:15And you were valedictorian.
15:16What were you up to that your mother didn't know about?
15:21Okay, you search the closet.
15:23I'm gonna look under the bed.
15:24Wait, wait, wait.
15:25First rule of ransacking.
15:27Remember where everything goes.
15:30You are gonna make a really good mother someday.
15:33So, what does this diary look like?
15:35Uh, it's small.
15:36It's got a plaid cover.
15:37Oh, and when you find it, you have to read it
15:39because I promised her that I would always respect her privacy.
15:41Now, help me flip this mattress.
15:43Oh, my God.
15:44You found it?
15:45This is adorable.
15:47You think maybe I could-
15:48No, you cannot borrow it.
15:50Oh, fine.
15:53Why does Julie have a VCR?
15:55To watch movies.
15:56Please, kids don't watch videos anymore.
15:59Everything's digital.
16:05See?
16:06It's just a tape.
16:11Is it?
16:27Alma.
16:29What do you think you're doing?
16:32Measuring for drapes.
16:33I'm thinking damask.
16:35You know what I mean.
16:38Why have you moved here?
16:41It's a very nice street.
16:43And I've made friends here.
16:46People have taken such an interest in me.
16:48They thought you were dead.
16:50The novelty of your not being a corpse can't last forever.
16:54What are you after?
16:55Are you still punishing me?
16:58You want me to pay you to leave?
16:59What?
17:01I want what I've always wanted.
17:04You.
17:07I'm married.
17:09And even if I weren't, I don't love you.
17:13You didn't love the old, Alma.
17:15I'm not that woman anymore.
17:16I'm stronger, more confident.
17:19It may take you a while to see that, but I can wait.
17:23Alma, I love Brie.
17:24But does she love you?
17:27Oh, she may love the worse than she knows.
17:31But does she know what you did to Monique?
17:35Does she know you ran over Mike Delfino?
17:39I know all that.
17:41I still love you.
17:43Would she?
17:55Do I see you've spoken to Mother?
17:59Yes.
18:00It's nice to have someone on my side in all of this.
18:04Don't worry.
18:05I won't tell Brie.
18:07She might go to the police.
18:09You're no good to me in jail.
18:14But if I thought I had no chance with you,
18:16no chance at all,
18:18well, it'd be nothing to stop me from telling.
18:23Please, Orson.
18:26Don't take away my hope.
18:41She's not going.
18:43Why not?
18:44And what the hell was that on the porch?
18:47She kissed me goodbye.
18:48What was I supposed to do, slug her?
18:50You went over there to read her the riot act.
18:52Instead, it looked like you were reading her a bedtime story.
18:54Brie, I told her we don't want her here.
18:57I threatened.
18:58I shouted.
18:59She refuses to go.
19:00We're just going to have to make the best of it.
19:10Hello.
19:11Hey, it's me.
19:13You want to meet for lunch?
19:14No, honey.
19:15I got to drive to Greendale to pick out napkins.
19:18Remember?
19:19I told you.
19:20Oh, yeah.
19:21That's right.
19:22So I'll see you tonight.
19:24Okay.
19:25Good.
19:25I'll see you.
19:26Okay.
19:51Oh, my God.
19:58Hey, Mrs. Scoggle.
20:01Andrew, hi.
20:02I thought you weren't starting until the opening.
20:04Oh, yeah.
20:05There's just so much work that needs to be done.
20:07Mr. Scoggle asked me to start early.
20:09Oh.
20:10He's not here, by the way.
20:11Yeah, I know.
20:12And, hey, don't tell him I stopped by.
20:14I'm not supposed to be here.
20:16I just want to sneak a peek.
20:21Shouldn't you be working?
20:23Shouldn't you not be here?
20:26Touche.
20:27So, uh, how do you like the place?
20:30I think it's fantastic.
20:33It's really coming together.
20:35Ooh, I love the bar.
20:36Oh, yeah.
20:37It's, uh, it's pretty cool.
20:38It's too bad we can't get a liquor license.
20:40What?
20:41Oh, uh, didn't Mr. Scoggle tell you?
20:44No, he didn't.
20:47Don't, um, restaurants make half their money on the liquor?
20:51Oh, yeah.
20:52We're completely screwed.
20:54This is a nightmare.
20:56How did this happen?
20:58Uh, the, uh, city rezoned and said he had to get all the residents within a block to sign
21:02a waiver.
21:03There's some holdouts.
21:04He's kind of bumming.
21:05Well, then why isn't he dealing with it instead of shopping for napkins?
21:12We could lose our shirts in this dump.
21:17Is this Dr. Marvin Tashman?
21:19Hi.
21:20My name is Susan Meyer.
21:21My daughter, Julie, came in to see you.
21:24Yes, about birth control.
21:26So, I'm just curious.
21:27Where do you get off prescribing that without my consent?
21:33What?
21:34No, I most certainly was not there.
21:36What do I look like?
21:37I don't have blonde hair.
21:45Wait.
21:46Did my blonde hair have dark roots?
21:49Oh!
21:51I forgot to give you the keys to the shed.
21:55You got my daughter the pill?
21:58Here, catch.
22:03Don't you walk away from me!
22:05Do we have to do this now?
22:07Yes, we do.
22:08You might have gotten your first diaphragm with milk money,
22:11but that doesn't give you the right to corrupt my daughter.
22:13Look, it's not like I went after Julie and said,
22:15hey, do you want to go out for a burger and some birth control?
22:17She came to me.
22:18You do not get to decide this for her!
22:21What were you thinking?
22:22Ah!
22:22I was thinking, if Julie got knocked up,
22:25that you and I could become family.
22:27And I'm sorry, I cannot take that chance.
22:29Oh, you know what?
22:29It wasn't until your rotten nephew came to town
22:31that Julie was a perfect kid.
22:33And now she's lying and scheming and having casual sex.
22:36She's just a boob job away from being you!
22:39Look, Meyer, Julie has discovered sex.
22:41The genie is out of the bottle.
22:43You better get good with it or you could lose her forever.
22:46Because like it or not, she loves him.
22:49And you know what else?
22:50He loves her.
23:05Your gentleman friend went to make a call.
23:06He'll be with you shortly.
23:09Oh, God.
23:28Gabrielle.
23:33Zach Young.
23:34Oh, my God.
23:35It's been ages.
23:37Wow.
23:38Look at you.
23:40So handsome in a suit.
23:41You look beautiful.
23:43Aren't you sweet?
23:46Well, anyway, I'd love to catch up,
23:49but I'm kind of waiting for someone.
23:51Yes, I know.
23:57So the dress fits.
23:58Cool.
24:03Would you like a bottle of your 1982 Chateau Lafitte West Child, please?
24:11I'm sorry.
24:12How old are you?
24:14Oh, uh, only, say, a hundred.
24:19So you are.
24:22Wow.
24:23So I'm going to advance on their allowance.
24:25I was my grandfather's sole heir.
24:27I'm actually in the Fortune 400.
24:30Does that seem weird to you?
24:32I'm on a date with Zach Young.
24:34Nothing's ever going to seem weird again.
24:38Every cent we have is circling the bowl,
24:40and Tom never said a word.
24:41Why didn't he come to me?
24:42Well, clearly he's embarrassed.
24:44But I'm his wife.
24:45Don't be dense, Lynette.
24:47Half the reason men want to accomplish anything
24:49is so they can show off for the women they love.
24:50And when they fail, they like to keep it to themselves.
24:53I'm going to tell him.
24:54I'm going to tell him I went to the restaurant
24:55and that I know he screwed up
24:57and that I'm going to fix it.
25:00Oh, for God's sake,
25:01it's bad enough you cut off his cojones.
25:02Now you want to juggle him?
25:04My husband is in trouble.
25:06I love him.
25:07Shouldn't I want to help him?
25:08Well, if you really love him,
25:09you should help him without letting him know that you did.
25:15Yeah, so, in addition to my penthouse,
25:18I also have a chateau in Switzerland
25:20and a cottage in the Hamptons.
25:22It's pretty impressive, huh?
25:24Got a little chocolate on your shirt.
25:27Damn it!
25:28Here, let me get it.
25:29No, I can do it!
25:29I can do it!
25:30I'd like to do it myself.
25:31Thank you very much.
25:34I'm sorry.
25:35You know, I'll be neater for you next time.
25:37Next time?
25:38Honey, let's get real.
25:39You were way too young for me.
25:42I'm two months older than John Rowland.
25:47Well, John Rowland was a mistake.
25:49I was lonely.
25:51You're not lonely now?
25:54You've heard about my divorce?
25:56Yeah, you were really smart to get rid of Carlos.
25:58You deserve much better.
26:00And let me guess, now you were my upgrade?
26:04Well, everybody knows you need someone to take care of you,
26:06and I'm rich now.
26:08I can give you anything you want.
26:10Wait a minute.
26:11Who says I need someone to take care of me?
26:14My mom.
26:15Our friends from the neighborhood.
26:17They said it was the only reason you stayed with Carlos,
26:19considering how he treated you.
26:24Well, they were wrong.
26:26Thank you for lunch, Zach.
26:27Wait, Gabrielle.
26:30I'm not that awkward kid that I was before.
26:33Can you please just...
26:35Please take me seriously.
26:37I'm sorry, I just can't.
26:39I'm not going to give up.
26:43Sweetie.
26:44I really wish you would.
26:52God's sake, Zach.
26:54Don't hijack a Ferrari if you don't know how to drive.
27:02Mr. Gond.
27:03Hi.
27:04I'm Lynette Scavo.
27:05My husband is opening the pizzeria right down the block.
27:07If it's about that liquor license, I'm not signing.
27:10Please.
27:11I've been at this for hours.
27:12Just hear me out.
27:14Well, I never could resist a pretty lady.
27:17Oh.
27:17Come on in.
27:20Did you live in Las Vegas?
27:22I was a croupier for 40 years.
27:24As you can see, I had a weakness for showgirls.
27:27I bet you were quite the player.
27:29You have no idea.
27:31Can I top you off there?
27:33No, thanks.
27:34Two's my limit.
27:35Well, suit yourself.
27:37Look, I understand your concerns about the license.
27:41Your neighbors had them, too.
27:43But they signed a waiver once I explained to them that this is a family restaurant.
27:48No late nights.
27:49No loud music.
27:51If there's one thing I learned in Vegas, it's that booze turns most people into noisy jackasses.
27:56And I don't want them puking on my doorstep.
27:59Come on, Harry.
28:00You are my last holdout.
28:03What's it going to take?
28:04Cash?
28:04A free pizza for the rest of your life?
28:06You name it.
28:07Look, I hate to disappoint a pretty lady, but I'm not signing.
28:13Harry.
28:15My husband quit his job to start this restaurant.
28:19And if we can't sell liquor, we can't make a profit.
28:21And whoa, whoa, whoa, Harry.
28:23Eyes up here.
28:25Oh, sorry.
28:28This place is his dream.
28:30And if he can't make it work, then it's just going to kill him.
28:34And consequently, it's going to kill our marriage.
28:36And Harry, Harry, what did I say?
28:38I know.
28:39I don't mean to be rude.
28:40It's just that my showgirl days were a while ago, and I can't remember the last time I
28:45laid eyes on a beautiful woman's bosom.
28:54Really?
28:55Well, what if I were to, very briefly, refresh your memory?
29:09Completely worth it.
29:11Glad you thought so.
29:16Hmm.
29:23Come on, baby.
29:24Say it one more time for Mommy.
29:26So you can teach him to say whatever you want?
29:28Oh, yes.
29:29These birds are very bright.
29:30I think they're smarter than people.
29:33Some people.
29:34Anyway.
29:39Free!
29:40Come in, I just made some lemonade.
29:48This isn't a social call.
29:51We need to talk.
29:53About what?
29:54About what it's going to take to get you to sell this house and move.
29:58Move?
29:59Why?
29:59You're my husband's ex-wife.
30:01You disappeared so people would think he killed you.
30:04Does my discomfort really need any further explanation?
30:08No idea you felt this way.
30:10Oh, please.
30:11Orson made it perfectly clear we don't want you here.
30:14Okay.
30:15Now I'm really confused.
30:17When Orson came by, all he said was,
30:19Welcome to the street and did I need help unpacking.
30:25That's not true.
30:27You know what?
30:29I think I've said too much.
30:31How about that lemonade?
30:34Ma'am?
30:36Where would you like this?
30:37Oh, upstairs.
30:38I'll show you.
30:40Here.
30:41Drink this.
30:42You'll have a little pail.
30:43Right there.
30:48Don't tell Bree.
30:52Don't tell Bree.
30:54When are you?
30:56No.
31:45Are you all right?
31:47I'm so sorry.
31:48I broke a glass.
31:50Don't worry.
31:51I'll get it.
31:52Okay.
31:53I have to go.
31:56Brie, wait.
31:59I understand why you might feel a little threatened about my moving in here.
32:04But in time, you'll see I'm perfectly harmless.
32:24So, how was the mystery date?
32:26It was fabulous.
32:27Thanks for asking.
32:29Come on.
32:30I want details.
32:30Who is he?
32:31Some global financier.
32:33Saw me on the cover of Paris Match.
32:36Good looking.
32:36Just not my type.
32:38Really?
32:40Because I always thought that you and Zach would make a really great couple.
32:43You son of a bitch.
32:44You were there.
32:45Barked across the street laughing my ass off.
32:47I can't believe you followed me.
32:50I thought you were meeting a psycho killer for lunch.
32:52I was worried.
32:55At least until they brought out the crayons and children's menus.
32:59All right.
32:59Off my porch.
33:00Okay.
33:00But don't forget, you asked me to watch your back.
33:04Yeah.
33:04About that.
33:05I'm installing an alarm system tomorrow, so I'm not going to need you to look after
33:10me anymore.
33:13Gabby, I don't mind.
33:14I mind.
33:15We're divorced.
33:16I can't keep running to you every time I get scared.
33:18I want to be the kind of woman who can take care of herself.
33:25Well, good for you.
33:30I'm still right down the block.
33:33So if you do need me...
33:35I won't.
33:37But thank you.
33:46Hey.
33:49You're home early.
33:51Celebrating.
33:51Got our liquor license today.
33:54Really?
33:55That's great.
33:55Yeah.
33:56Andrew said he went all over the neighborhood getting signatures.
33:59Good for him.
34:00But I think he's lying.
34:02I think somebody else got the signatures.
34:05Okay.
34:06Let's say, just for the sake of argument, that someone else did.
34:10Someone who clearly loves you very much.
34:12What's wrong with that?
34:13Nothing.
34:14Nothing.
34:14The order has been restored in the universe.
34:16You save the day.
34:17I'm a loser.
34:19Oh, come on, Tom.
34:21I tried for two months to get that waiver signed.
34:23You did it in a day.
34:25Like I said...
34:26You can't drown in self-pity just because I helped you with one tiny little thing.
34:31Okay.
34:32But if I tell you that the plumbing's not up to code, that we have termites, and that the
34:35chairs won't be there until after we open, can I drown in self-pity then?
34:39Why haven't you told me about all of this?
34:41Because I wanted to accomplish something on my own.
34:44Because I wanted to accomplish something on my own.
34:44I'm the man.
34:45I shouldn't have to run to my wife to bail me out.
34:48Ow.
34:48No.
34:48Gambling with our life savings and not asking for help doesn't make you a man.
34:54It makes you an idiot.
34:56Come on, Tom.
34:57For God's sakes, we are a team, and that restaurant is a huge undertaking.
35:00No one could do it alone.
35:01You don't ask me for help with your ad campaigns.
35:04Ow.
35:04I don't have to.
35:06You're always giving it to me.
35:08Inspiring me.
35:09Remember the mouthwash jingle?
35:11You came up with the hook.
35:12And what about the Bartlett campaign?
35:14Would I have ever come up with tango dancing fleas?
35:17All you.
35:17There's nothing that I've accomplished that I could have done without your help.
35:21Okay, fine.
35:22I help.
35:23We're a team.
35:23Just don't hit me again.
35:26So tomorrow, first thing, we'll fix the plumbing, we'll call an exterminator,
35:30we'll rent some chairs, and we will open on time, and it'll be a glorious success
35:34that you will have achieved with my help.
35:38Okay?
35:39Okay.
35:43And tonight, I'm gonna slap on some sex perfume, and you're gonna get naked,
35:46and then we're gonna see who the man is.
35:50God, I hope it's me.
35:51Oh, I'm sure it will be.
36:01Hey, Mom.
36:02What are you doing out here?
36:05Oh.
36:08Okay, here's the thing.
36:09Don't worry.
36:10I'm not gonna get mad.
36:11Just sit down.
36:20You know what upset me the most?
36:23That you didn't trust me enough to tell me the truth.
36:26I tried to.
36:27You freaked out.
36:28Well, of course I freaked out.
36:30I'm a parent.
36:32You know, we hope that our children will wait to have sex till...
36:36after we're dead.
36:37And you wonder why I went to Edie.
36:39Okay, that's the other thing.
36:41That cannot happen anymore.
36:43You and I have always had an amazing relationship.
36:48Let's not mess it up now.
36:51Okay?
36:52I'm sorry.
36:56Look, I know you think I'm too young, but...
37:00Austin and I are in love.
37:04Yeah.
37:08How about that?
37:15My God, I wish there was a pill you could take to protect your heart.
37:20What do you mean?
37:24Honey, I...
37:25I was over at Edie's today, and...
37:28I walked in the door...
37:31Uh, yes, I need to speak to my husband.
37:35Uh, yes, there is.
37:36Would you please ask him to come home as early as possible tonight?
37:46It's a dangerous world.
37:51So we all look for protection.
37:56And whether we find it in the arms of our mother...
38:03Or at the end of a jagged blade...
38:10In the kiss of our sweetheart...
38:16Or at the end of a barrel...
38:19We do what we have to to feel safe.
38:25Because we know...
38:26Somewhere in the world...
38:33There are those...
38:35Who would do us harm.
38:36The...
38:38To be continued...