00:36¡Registered letter for you, Snuffy!
00:39Can't be for me.
00:41Nobody I know can write.
00:42Ah, let's have a look at that letter.
00:45Oh, betcha it's from them there income taxes.
00:48Everybody get your raffle.
00:50I ain't goin' to work, and I ain't goin' no jail neither.
00:53Uh, you aren't goin' to jail, Snuffy.
00:55You're goin' to school.
00:57I'd rather go to jail.
00:59June 11, 1929.
01:02Snuffy Smith is hereby granted admission to Backward University.
01:06Full scholarship grants to all those sons of the heroes of the Battle of Gulch Falls.
01:12Backward you welcomes you.
01:151929.
01:16Why, that's 33 years ago.
01:19My stars.
01:20Oh, the mails are gettin' quicker.
01:22It says here report September 11th.
01:25That's 33 years ago tomorrow.
01:27Come on, Snuffy, we're late.
01:28Let's go.
01:29Well, I ain't goin'.
01:31No siree.
01:39All right, students.
01:41Open your anatomy text to the chest section.
01:45Mr. Smith, you start reading.
01:48How do you expect me to read with this here book in my chest section?
01:53Uh, Mr. Professor, he can't read today.
01:55He's, uh, uh, he's got a frog in his throat.
01:59Well, then, Mr. Smith, come here and complete this problem.
02:04One plus one equals...
02:06Let me see.
02:07Uh, one and another one.
02:10Uh, that would be, uh, I mean, uh...
02:13Frog in his throat, my foot.
02:15You can't read and you can't write.
02:17You go back to kindergarten.
02:19He can't do that.
02:22Why not?
02:23He flunk blocks.
02:26Bibi, now get out of here and don't come back.
02:28Until you can read.
02:40By Jove, what a blow to my cranium.
02:44Oh, uh, why, Snuff, you, you sound awful uppity.
02:49A minus one four six three plus the cube root of nine forty
02:52multiplied by the hypotenuse equals nine million six hundred and thirty thousand
02:56oh four two and one eighth.
02:58You're quite wrong.
02:59It's nine million six hundred and thirty thousand oh four two and a half.
03:04Huh?
03:04Uh, uh, who said that?
03:06I did.
03:07You?
03:07Uh, I told you not to come back to class until you could add one and one.
03:11Uh, one plus one equals two and furthermore E equals MC squared.
03:15E equals MC squared?
03:17Bibi, uh, I quite agree.
03:19Why, my man, you are a genius.
03:22It's really nothing.
03:24Uh, nothing equals the cosine of forty-six divided by the hypotenuse of seven.
03:28I dare say.
03:31And so much for Shakespeare.
03:35Now, dear students, I will open this lecture to a question and answer period.
03:40Uh, Mr. Smith, can you tell us Napoleon's last words when he lost the Battle of Waterloo?
03:45Yes, chaps.
03:47His last words were,
03:48Frère Jacques, dormez-vous.
03:50Ding dong dong dong ding.
03:55Sir, I'm Bean Dusk from the State Department.
03:58I've been sent by Washington to ask you a question.
04:00Who will be the first man on the moon?
04:03I will.
04:05You will?
04:06How long will it take you to get there?
04:08Fifteen minutes if the lights are with me.
04:13Snuffy Smith, Snuffy Smith.
04:15Give him a hug and a kip, kip, kip.
04:16And when we do, he will turn blue.
04:18True, true, blue for Backward You.
04:20Yay!
04:26Forward, backward, backward, backward, forward, any way will do.
04:33Take an axe and beat the brains out, poor dear old Backward You.
04:49Louiezy, how come you let me go fishing without my pole?
04:54He's his own sweet smell himself again.
04:58Yes, instant stupid.
05:06Telegram for you, Snuffy.
05:10Get off my property.
05:13Get off my property.
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